The Happiness Ninja

The Divine in me. How I found my spirit name. (Spoiler Alert.. it's Sara)

2013-02-28T15:24:00.000-08:00

This story is not for everyone... but it's the truth of what yoga culture and asana mean to me. <3
Namaste!

Yoga Teacher Training

To set the scene... Cold yoga studio which has been shut down for the weekend to accommodate our group. This means the heat has been shut off.
It's December in Nebraska.
After 3 days, each of which contained about 10 hours of solid asana in a building without a water fountain, my body barely worked.
The Caveman Roomie welcomed me home each of those nights with a recovery drink and dinner. One night (as the story goes.. I have to take his word for it) I passed out on the living room floor while he was in the bathroom running me a very hot bath in our whirlpool.
This weekend left me sore, exhausted, and with a good pocketful of new friends who were all on a similar path. We wanted to bring this beautiful practice to as many people as possible. We wanted to know EVERYTHING about it so we could be as effective as we are caring.
I met Gary*. He was a middle school social studies teacher and wanted to open a studio in the next couple of years. We shared a pepperoni pizza after class one night to talk about what yoga means to us. He was trying to stave off the effects of arthritis. The low impact was so easy on his joints and made him feel strong enough to fight off the symptoms.
I met Julie*. She worked in the floral department of a local grocery store.
Single Mom with 3 kids.. we chatted over a glass of wine about the autism spectrum and how over medicated kids are these days. She ordered a giant brownie with whipped cream and licked her fingers of the chocolate syrup explaining how it was the first time since her oldest son was born that she had been granted more than just a bite of anything so sweet without little fingers snatching it away.

I liked Gary and Julie.. They were so down to earth in this strangely competitive, often judgemental field.
Probably just because like me, they were newbies.
We hadn't been entrenched in the local culture or subjected to the glares of the hard core yogi yet. YET.

Fast forward one year.
I'm practically dancing into another yoga teacher weekend which I had saved for 4 months to afford.
My belly fills with butterflies as I spot Julie and Gary in a crowd of people I don't yet know.
I skip (sorry.. I do that sometimes) over to their group and greet them.
They turn slowly and with a tilt of her head Julie holds her hands in Namaste.
"Hello! As we meet again, let me introduce myself! My name is Jagat Priya... it means Justifier."
Gary bows deeply at me and speaks so slowly I wonder if he's been told that this is in fact a weekend for recent psych ward patients...
"I am Tree. My heart is glad to see you old friend! What is your name?"

......
...........
Uhm.
My name is... Sara... still.

"No no no, my sweet friend... what is your Spirit name?"

I look around to see if my spirit is standing nearby and hopefully wearing a name tag.
Foiled, I respond... Did I forget to grab the packet assigning.. uhm. Spirit names?

They look at me like I'm the most adorable child of all time.

Later, I ask them to grab a coffee with me on our break.
They both opt for herbal tea and stare a me in horror as I add dairy creamer to my fully caffeinated steaming cup of consumerism.
A 45 minute lecture ensues during which I'm told in graphic detail what I'm doing to my body and the environment. I walked in proud of myself for remembering to pack my own bph free coffee thermos, but I guess I just spat in the rainforest's face.. as well as a dozen or so migrant workers. Sorry guys! =(

The two took regular sidebars to congratulate one another on their strict veganism and use of Sanskrit.

As we walked back to the studio to continue day one of what looked to be 3 very trying days, the two agreed they would dedicate today's practice to me in hopes that my spirit would reveal and name itself.
Sigh.
I was hoping to deepen my practice.. but this was.. well. Douchey. (sorry Schmom)

As we exhaled deeper into this posture, extended into that posture, and floooaaated into yet another arm balance, I was flooded with a strong, undefined emotion.
Was I embarrassed that my spiritual practice didn't include changing my name and voice? Did this mean it wasn't legit? Was I indignant that they disagreed with my belief that ahimsa's true meaning wasn't 'don't eat meat'? Did I feel like I was failing yoga?
As I lay in Savasana (Which is Sanskrit for 'try not to fall asleep' pose) I let my mind really chew on those thoughts.
We sat and breathed again in unison... clarity rose up from somewhere deep in my belly.

We all bowed in Namaste and rolled our mats.
Jagat Priya and Tree made their way to me.. glowing.
'Did you find your truth, Sister Sara?'
I bowed deeply, grateful for them and the truth their energy helped me locate within my own spirit.
"Namaste!" came a softened voice from my lips. "I am Yoni"
They praised the divine within me and asked me to join them for dinner.

The next 2 days passed, filling my heart with absolute beauty. I learned so much and grew more and more excited to bring these lessons to my students..
On our last day, Tree approached and told me how inspired he was by the truths I spoke during our Bahkti discussion. He praised my insight into the changes breath can cause in a relationship.
"Yoni, I was hoping we could talk about opening a studio together when we get back from the retreat? I feel like I've found a real friend in you. A soul mate.."
I smiled.
Sure, Gary.. but you're gonna have to stop calling me vagina.
He sputtered.
It's only the most well known word in the Sanskrit language.. on every page of the Kama Sutra... Vulva.
You've been calling me Vulva.
After a few moments, he finally laughed.
It was like watching someone wake up from a daydream.
Gary and I left. We got a pepperoni pizza and laughed.. realizing that the real path is happiness.
Teaching those who NEED asana is my happiness.
*shrug*
I'm not going to be everyone's favorite yogi. I'm not a razor-thin vegan with a voice like velvet. I won't always use the Sanskrit terms for each posture.
But I teach the yoga of joy. Health. Truth, I suppose....

Don't get me wrong.. I have deep respect for yoga. For all 7 limbs and anyone who wants to call themselves The Justifier (How could you NOT respect that???) There is so much to be gained by learning the root of Asana and LIVING yoga.
But you can enjoy a deep, fulfilling practice without being a judgemental jerk.
And with that, The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you. Love you guys!

Top 10 things I learned about pregnancy.. from an ametuer incubator

2013-02-15T14:32:00.001-08:00

The moment you see that second line appear on your EPT, you want to call everyone you know and share the news... but you probably won't. You'll wait until you've seen the doctor.. heard the heartbeat... you may even wait until you can no longer play off your bulging belly as one too many slices of pizza.
We all share the news in our own time and in our own way... but the MINUTE you do, some alarm goes off throughout your social circle telling everyone you encounter that you are in dire need of advice and horror stories. The moment you absentmindedly place a protective hand on your protruding pooch every parent in the building will be instinctively drawn to the Mama-to-be to tell her 'the thing they don't warn you about'
Here are the top 10 things I've taken away from my pregnancy.. before the amazing amnesia hormone kicks in and makes me forget!

10: You are now public property.

Your belly is about to be rubbed, touched, and fondled by every person you know and every old lady in every grocery store you dare enter. Carry a big purse to protect your itchy, aching midsection from probing hands! When we hit 41 weeks gestation, one "helpful" woman actually dared shove down from the top of my stomach while shouting "Get out of there, Baby! We want to meet you!"
I had just met this woman.
It's likely I'll never encounter her again...
Thank. Frank.

9. You're doing it wrong. All of it...

Avoiding gluten, I was told dozzzzens of times how I was depriving my son of 'VITAL' nutrients. Such as??
Reaching for my chocolate milk I'm told I'm setting him up for a lifetime of sugar dependency.
When I stand at a party talking with friends I need to be sitting and resting.. but when I stopped teaching class because of our very early contractions I was setting myself up for a difficult labor. How much weight have you gained so far??? All told, I gained 26 pounds. This was both FAR too much and not nearly enough.. And I was constantly reminded both that I needed to put my own feelings about my body aside and gain weight for the baby's sake and that I would NEVER get the weight off.
People want to know everything.. Are you going to find out the sex? Getting an epidural? Circumsising? Breastfeeding? Such personal questions... with NO right answer. People are PASSIONATE about these topics and you are now in the hotseat. Good luck, there!

8. Maternity Clothes???

I remember buying my sister Maternity clothes when she was about 5 months along. They were beautiful and she was beautiful in them! And while I started showing very early (11 weeks!) I never actually needed them. Well. Maybe I did.. but I refused to wear them ;) I wore my regular jeans to the birthing center the day our angel was born...However I did purchase one item.
It was a talisman, really. When we encountered our first complication I marched into Gordman's and bought a maternity shirt.. just to remind myself that one day I WOULD need this shirt. We WOULD get there and this baby was going to make it <3

My one and only maternity shirt
(around 8 1/2 months along)

But when you switch from regular clothes to maternity is all on you. Any bit of comfort you can squeeze out of these 9 months is crucial, so don't let anyone make this call for you!

7. It goes by in a FLASH.... a really, really, really, long sleepless flash...

I imagine I could have stayed pregnant for a year if Bam wanted to hang out that long... but from the minute the second line appeared on my.. *ahem*.. 4th pregnancy test...
All I could think was 'Can't I meet you yet??'
I never wanted to rush my pregnancy. I loved having him safe and sound in my belly where I could force feed him all the brussel sprouts and cauliflower a pregnant lady can stomach.
I enjoyed feeling him move.. even when he found a separated rib to play with the last 2 months. I can't believe how fast 9 months was upon us and I'd have to share him with the world... but when someone says you're going to meet the love of your life in 40 weeks (42 for us, thanks!) you are on the edge of your seat the whole time!
Enjoy your pregnancy... you'll hear 'wait til' so many times!
Every time you mention your pregnancy you'll hear 'Wait til he's keeping you up all night, then tell me how perfect he is.' 'Wait til he's in middle school and starts mouthing off, then tell me how wonderful he is' 'Wait til he doesn't NEED your advice, then tell me how much you love being a mom'
How bout no? How about I don't need to wait because I'm so happy to be his mom even if he DOES act like humans are known to? How about never ever wait... enjoy every second, because it IS only a second.

6. You. Will. Cry.
I felt ok about the handle I had on my emotions... I never hated Abrabacon for no reason. I didn't wake him at 3am because if I don't have a pint of Ben and Jerry's pizza flavored ice cream with marshmallow drizzle RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO DIEEE!
Honestly.. I didn't even gain a ridiculous amount of weight..
But about once a week I would calmly mention to Abe.. I'm going to go cry. I'm going to sit in the bathtub and read Clive Barker books and sob... I'm not sad. I'm not angry... I'm just full of tears and I have to go get them out of my face. See you in an hour.

Then around month 7, this pristine control became a bit shaky as things crept up on me.
For instance, while I had only one maternity shirt, my cup size upgraded once. Twice. 5 times.
Squeezing into a bra and putting on my shirt only to find that you could very clearly see breasticular muffin top quite frequently reduced me to not only tears, but full on Rom-com worthy closet destroying montages wherein I repeated a dozen or so times "I'm SO fat!"
Pan to Abe snickering at me until things started flying from the closet straight at his head.

5. Enemies no more

This was very strange to me, but stick with me.
I'm not for everyone. I'm loving, sure.. but also a bit loud and occasionally crass. I don't mind getting into the dirty details and I don't mind being in a pink apron putting dinner on the table when Abe gets home... thus putting off both the feminine AND the feminist set. What's more is that I find it easier to be friends with men than women. This isn't all women, of course.. I have an amazing core set of ladies I wouldn't trade for TWO worlds.. but I generally find myself more comfortable joking with men than the more competitive, fairer sex.
More specifically, the girlfriends of my guy friends.
Somehow, I always find myself losing a game I didn't know I was playing.
This unflattering feature of the female brain fades fast when the object of their ire is with child. *shrug* Good thing, too. I've enjoyed the company of females so much better since May and you REALLY need the love and support of women during this time. Trust me. I cannot underscore this enough. I'm going to keep rambling here because you need to take this one to heart...
And rude men? Pushy, annoying.. any kind of hard to handle dude now sees you as precious and in need of protecting.. almost like their very own mothers. You are in for the taking-care-of of your life =)

4. Those scrambled eggs made me so hungry....

All I could do in my last 8 weeks was eat. And eat.. then all that eating would make me so hungry!
I would literally be cooking my breakfast and realize I would be hungry again as soon as I was done eating, so I would turn on the oven and throw in a miniature Cauliflower crust pizza.
It's ok to eat. Really.. you need it.

3. All of those nosy, rude comments? They're made by people who love you and mean well. Be nice.

It's hard to do.. but remember that it's not intended as a slight or to mean that you're not a good mother.
If you realllllly get to a point where you can't handle it, realize that people only ask you about your pregnancy/nursery/birth plan so they can tell you about theirs. If you don't want to divulge your personal life, simply ask them about theirs.
Pregnancy is the thing that binds us all. It's the thing we've all got in common... and so you are now a representative of life itself. Get use to being a temporary celebrity and learn to flip the interview onto your new adoring fan.
Try saying 'We have a birth plan in place, but I'm curious about yours... what did you use as your focal point to keep you motivated through pushing?

2. It's harder than you think it's going to be... But that's ok. You're stronger than you think you are.

The pregnancy was harder than I anticipated. It hurt more.. every day. You would never catch me 'glowwwing'.. sweating? Oh yes. Oily? Check! But glowing? Not here, buddy.
I didn't relish decorating the nursery or registering for gifts.. I just wanted the baby, not the stuff that comes with him! I often wondered how pregnant ladies always seemed so beautiful to me.. I was sure I always had a grimace of pain on my face... I had regular contractions from month 4..
Then there was Christmas season. Contractions 4-7 minutes apart for 6 weeks.
I worried what Abe's coworkers thought of me when we attended his work holiday party and I found myself a sweating mess, timing contractions and unable to speak through them...
Then, spending Christmas day crawling around our living room floor with our dogs.. trying to play cribbage with Abe between mind numbing back labor.
Around hour 50 of labor I thought... I just can't do it anymore.
I begged Abe.. if the baby hasn't come in the next 20 minutes, will you choke me out???? PLEASE!?
A blow to the back of the head to put me out for a little while.. I just need a break!

I was able to stay quiet enough until hour 54. I forgot why I had been pushing since 2pm. I forgot my name..
1. It's worth every second...At 7:30pm on December 26th, 2012, our midwife urges me to open my eyes and reach down. I reach blindly as she guides me to something warm and solid.
"Deliver your baby, Sara.. Push one more time and pull him out"
And with the last I had in me, I brought our son into the world.
He was so heavy and seemed so unhappy to be pulled out into the cold, but I brought him from his former residence up onto my chest. He cried as I stared at his dark hair, his furry ears, and his enormous blue eyes. We stayed like this, alone in a cacophonous room for ages..
When the umbilical cord stopped pulsing, his proud father broke the last thing that physically connected us.. his lifeline for the last 42 weeks. Our son opened his perfect eyes and looked up at me and I realized I would do it all again tomorrow if he asked me.

What are some of the surprising things YOU learned from you or a significant other's pregnancy?
Any advice to expectant Mamas?
Leave your comments or message me privately to share your story!!

Seafood Dinner =) Nom!

2012-12-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

Couple quick ideas for you to put together a beautiful dinner (don't judge it by the picture!) with minimal effort!

For this particular meal you will need:

Your favorite white fish (or salmon)
1 medium yellow onion
1 lemon
3 or 4 cloves of garlic
1 medium spaghetti squash
1 lb shelled and deveined shrimp
1 cucumber
1 brick of cream cheese (NOT cream cheese substitute or I can't believe it's not cream cheese...)
1 packet of Nori (should be in the Asian food aisle of your grocer)
1/2 lb crab meat
1 avocado
No less than 1 stick of butter
salt, pepper, and OPTIONAL dill (I hate dill =/)

Preheat oven to 350 and halve and seed your squash.
Add about 1/2 inch of salted water to a casserole dish and place squash cut side down in oven.
Let it hang out for about 30 minutes or until a fork easily pierces the skin.

Meanwhile place one slice of lemon and one slice of onion on a small square of foil. Place one piece of whitefish on your lemon and salt, pepper, and lemon the top of it. Add 2 or 3 pats of butter to the top and carefully fold foil over to make little steam packets. Throw in the oven when your squash has been hanging out for 10 of it's 30 minutes (Which will make the cooking time on your fish about 20 minutes, check that fish is firm but pull before it gets dry)

While everything bakes... On 1 sheet of nori, place a thin line of crab meat, cucumber, avocado, and cream cheese.
Carefully roll and set aside.
When you're ready, slice and serve beside the rest of your beautiful dish...
For extra points, buy powdered wasabi and mix a fresh batch to serve with your cali roll ;)

Add butter to a heated skillet and throw your shrimp in with garlic, onion, salt, pepper, and parsley. Toss until lightly browned on top.

Shred your squash and serve shrimp scampi style on top.
Carefully remove your fish and serve beside scampi.
Open a beautiful bottle of white wine and toast your fabulosity <3

Butternut Squash Soup A WHOLE family friendly recipe for Thanksgiving

2012-11-21T12:39:00.001-08:00

I'm not going to wax philosophical on the meaning of Thanksgiving today..

It's the one day a year we don't need some weird keyboard warrior to remind us to smile at our significant other as he watches football on the couch. It's the day we don't get frustrated at the dog for being under our feet or our sister for bringing that musician boyfriend nobody can seem to get behind.
It's the day you invite the vegan cousin for dinner... knowing you're going to have to watch him glare at the turkey and remind you that it once had a brain and a mother.

The newly converted Buddhist/Artist/Dog Groomer/Theramin player/Splashing Hands Instructor brother will sit next to your lawyer friend who couldn't get home for the holiday.
And everyone will hate something on the table and something on the tv. Everyone will tell you why the last election was rigged or right and everyone will roll their eyes as 3 different denominations insist on leading the prayer over the meal.
And everyone will leave without a hint of animosity at the diverse table of gorgeous souls who had one thing in common: Everything to be grateful for.

So thank you for reading <3 Thank you for opening your hearts...
And thank you for leaving me the turkey leg ;) The wishbone is all yours. I couldn't hope for another amazing thing this year...

So. What are you going to feed your vegan paleo diabetic celiacs with peanut allergies this year?

How about some Butternut Squash soup?

Easy Peasy. Ready??

I very large butternut squash. Peeled, seeded, and cubed.
1 large yellow onion, roughly chopped

4 or 5 carrots, cleaned and chopped
4-6 cups of veggie stock (depending on your desired consistency and # of folks to serve)
Cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, clove OR curry powder... if ya wanna schmancy it ;)

Preheat oven to 400. You have the option of tossing your cubed squash in olive oil and salt before spreading in an even layer on your cookie sheet (I don't prefer to cook with olive oil.. but that's a whole nother post... here I would use butter or bacon grease depending on my desired flavor)
Roast for 30-40 minutes until a fork inserts easily.

Toss your onion into a large hot pot with some kind of fat (butter, olive oil, lard, tallow, bacon grease....) until onions have softened. Add carrots and any other veggies you want to use. Butternut squash has a very rich flavor, so this is an ideal place to sneak cauliflower or any extra veg into your family's dinner without any complaining ;)

Cook until you have reached a pretty uniform tenderness and add your veggie stock. Obviously, you can use beef or chicken stock here as well, but we're being vegan today ;)

Add your roasted butternut squash to stock and cook until your liquid has reduced by about 1/4. Add whatever spices tickle your turkey and hit the whole thing with a stick blender or slowly add to a food processor until you've reached your desired consistency =)

Serve it up to your colorful collection of loved ones and enjoy one last silent night before the next of the holidays hits ya between the eyes ;)

It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel fine

2012-11-17T13:58:00.000-08:00

December 21, 2012.
I'm sure you're aware of the significance of that date.
It's only an approximation, of course... but that's the best anyone can hope for, really.
The day the world as we know it.... ends.
That's it.
The Mayans aren't the only ones who have cleverly (if somewhat cryptically) informed us of our impending upheaval.

Nostradamus.
The dreams of Daniel.
Revelations made to John the Apostle.

We've known about this for centuries.. and yet, was there any way to prepare?
No.
When your world changes, you can't be ready.
You just have to change, too.

I've spent months preparing for this.
I know I've done everything I can.. but on at least a daily basis I take inventory.
Where can the supply be supplemented? Do we have a decent supply of food? What else can help in the transition??
All the supplies in the world aren't what I need.

I do my pushups against the wall or up the stairs. It's getting harder with my expanding belly. I can barely bend my arms before my belly brushes ground.
I do pushups with my legs on the couch.
I swim to keep my heart healthy enough for the exertions before me.
I use the abductor and abductor machines to keep my legs strong.
Reverse crunches. Squats. I don't use weights anymore, but I stay strong.
I keep myself well fueled.
You never know when everything could start... you never know when life as we know it will begin to change.

I check our supplies again.
Onesies. Check.
Tiny jeans. Check.
Tiny hoodies with dinosaur spikes down the back.. Double check.
We still need to make a final decision on those cloth diapers and make that initial investment.. but again. All the supplies in the world won't prepare us for the end. For the beginning....

When the day comes and the world is changed.. all we'll be able to do is stare in awe at the tiny wonder that will save us. Save us from not knowing what we're capable of. Save us from having no place to put all of the good we have cultivated in our 60 combined years of life..
All we can do is embrace the new world that will be handed to us.
And all I can think is... it's going to be a Good life <3

Paleo Pasta

This isn't really a recipe.. just an idea =)

I found one of those amazing little gadgets that you find now and again that makes you wonder how you ever cooked without it.. Simple thing, really.. it's a julienne peeler...

Inexpensive... INNNNNNVALUABLE!
I've been making everything with it.
I Julienne Zucchini and yellow squash for a pasta dish and serve it with Vodka sauce (recipe soon!)
I Julienne carrots, zucchini, yellow squash, eggplant, peppers and toss them with some chicken base and crushed red pepper for some spicy chicken lo mein..
It's my new favorite toy =) =)

Last night, I made spicy beef stir fry.
Happiness <3 <3

I would love to hear about some of your favorite gadgets and what you do with them!!!
Feel free to leave a comment or message me directly with any thoughts or suggestions!!!

Enjoy the end of the world, my sweet ninjas!
I know I will <3

PaleOmaha.. A safe place to lay your fork. Part Uno.

2012-11-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

PaleOmaha.
Pronunciation: Pale Eee Oh Maha.
Definition: Places in Omaha where you can find absolutely delicious fare without making yourself sick eating some glutenous mass because you didn't want to be a bother =)

That's right. I love eating in a restaurant. It makes any day feel a little special.. let someone else prepare something beautiful and bring it to me. Go home and not have to wash dishes.... All a recipe for a great night!
But The Caveman is incredibly strict about his Paleo ways.. which is understandable.
When he makes the decision that he wants something bad for him, he goes for it.. but for days after he's lethargic. Down. Bloated. He coughs incessantly and has to use his inhaler again. His stomach aches constantly and his skin gets patchy.
He doesn't decide that he wants gluten very often at all.

This makes restaurant dining a BIT tricky. Not terrible.. but a challenge. So for the last year, I've been cataloguing places we can go to find something that will still be enjoyable to eat, excellent service, fun atmosphere, and Paleo Approved =)

Ready? Let's go!

Manila Grill

108th & O st
(402) 339-2606

My dinner... Lots of veggies and beef in a delicious tomato based sauce.
I LOVED it.. very satisfying.

Caveman's dinner..
Beef in a Mirin and Bay sauce.
He liked his a lot, but mine was CLEARLY the better order ;)

The atmosphere was comfortable, not fancy. It was lovely, considering we were unfamiliar with Filipino food and wanted a low pressure dining experience. I assume it was the owner's family who came in and seated themselves at a nearby table.. 12 or so people, loud and boisterous.. asking how long we had been dating, if we wanted to try some of this or that, making recommendations on the menu. One of the children came and sat at our table with us because he found Abrabacon so amusing.. (Imagine that! A 5 year old finds Abe amusing.. will wonders never cease!)
We felt included and welcomed. Even aside from the food being incredibly satisfying, the place is a treasure. Highly recommend!

Kona Grill

                                           295 North 170th Street
                                                (402) 779-2900

What? Sushi??? Raw fish and rice?????
Here's the thing. You have to ask VERY nicely and they may or may not charge you a dollar extra per roll, but you can have your rolls wrapped in Nori (Seaweed) and then a layer of cucumber or avocado rolled over the outside. Adds the healthy fats your body loves and makes you feel more satisfied after fewer rolls =)
Delicious. I love this place, but it is a little 'Chainy' for my personal pleasure... I'm quite certain you can con any kind sushi chef into making this alteration. Give it a try! You will not be sorry..

In addition, Kona has many delicious entrees that can easily be made suitable.. You can simply ask for additional veggies instead of rice or noodles on each dish, mashed potatoes, or a salad to substitute the offending side =)
Outback Steakhouse

Ok
I LOVE seared Ahi. LOVE IT.
This appetizer plus a side of seasonal veggies with butter comprise one of my favorite dinners.
First.. always ask if it's butter or margarine.
Cuz. Seriously.
Then, take your time as you let the spice blend come together on your tongue.
Happiness <3

A steakhouse tends to be a pretty easy bet// a steak slathered in butter with veggies/
Sweet potato with cinnamon and butter.
Abe likes to get a salad topped with cottage cheese instead of dressing... dressings are usually made of ridiculous amounts of soybean oil...So there you have it, my darling dolls. Part one of my Paleomaha series. Check back for more delicious dining destinations soon!

<3

Giving up. The Very long beginning of a VERY long love story

2012-11-08T13:00:00.001-08:00

We are constantly reminded that nothing good ever comes easy..
But the notion that nothing good comes without hard work gives us the false impression that just because we've worked very hard for something, we can never let it go. We can't give up something we've given so much to...

Long way around the story is this...

When we found out we were expecting, we were obviously overjoyed.
We started planning immediately.. should we move or just renovate? Should I look into starting a home daycare so I can stay home with the baby, or should I just find work and try to schedule myself for when Abe isn't working? Should Abe keep fighting, or is that bad for our dynamic?

We giggled as we waited for our ultrasound tech to come show us pictures of our tiny miracle.
We held hands as she poured the warm gel over my flat stomach and we both stared intently at the monitor...
The tech frowned. Reached her free hand up to stroke her own round, pregnant belly and pursed her lips.
Finally, she brightened and I breathed a bit easier.
"Ok dear.. do you see what I see on the screen?" She chirped..
I don't see anything....
"Exactly. It appears you have had a miscarriage. We'll give you some pills to help you expel the remainder of the failed pregnancy and you guys can talk with your doctor about when you can try again." She smiled and nodded her head enthusiastically. I felt Abe's hands shaking, but couldn't bring myself to tear my burning eyes from the screen. The empty screen..

Can we...? If I finished my sentence, I was going to cry. I wasn't ready to cry. I wasn't ready to be done being this baby's Mom.
I pointed at the *otherrrr* ultrasound device. The really invasive one.
She seemed a bit put off by my insistence, but acquiesced.
A moment of looking and she triumphantly announces her original assessment was correct.
I still can't look at Abe.
Instead, I continue to insist. I take matters into my own hands and position the device myself..

A moment later....
The tiniest kidney bean flashes across the screen.
Tiny.
If it wasn't the very face of hope and love, I might not have recognized it as a reason to stop.

That was our son.
Now I cried.
This tiny little bean was the reason our hands, sweaty and trembling, were still clinging for one another. He was the reason those hands would search for one another so many times over the next several months..

From that moment, I began to plan in earnest. We discussed baby proofing. What to do with our two 70 lb dogs. I did a real inventory of my diet to find I was only averaging about 1000 calories a day (before the morning sickness came... ) so I needed to revamp my intake.

And then I woke around 4am feeling odd.
My mind consoled.. it's just menstrual cramps. Don't worry.
A groggy trip to the bathroom would verify this and my sleepy mind brushed it off.
Once my head rediscovered the pillow, the weight of the situation began to bear down.
Menstrual cramps. I'm 4 months pregnant.
The contractions came for the next 2 days. Call after call to my doctor begging to know what I can DO... how can I make it stop?
He calmly.. sadly... told me all I could do was rest. Get some sleep. Drink plenty of fluids.

That's not a THING.. that's not DOING something. I will do 1000 pushups if you tell me my baby is ok.
I will read all of the books again. I will sing the national anthem. I will vacuum the dryer vent... but give me something I can DO that will fix this!

Just rest.

Abe sat beside me on the couch. He stared at me.. hoping he could make the baby feel loved enough to stay. He didn't speak except to tell our son that while we were excited to meet him.. not yet. Please not yet... I'm going to be such a good Dad, but you won't know if you don't stay! I'll buy you a bike! I'll teach you to play basketball.. I'll even let you win sometimes.. just don't go.

I rested like it was my job. Called all of my yoga clients and studios and told them I was under the weather and needed some time off.
Abe fed me like he was trying to insulate our son. If there is enough food in there, maybe he'll get lost and not be able to find his way out?

About a week later, we finally got the clear. He was safe. His heartbeat was strong. I needed to be more careful about physical activity and dehydration, but otherwise...

At this point, I began getting a lot of negative feedback. I was being told I wasn't happy enough about being pregnant. I was told I was too vain. I was told I was gaining too much weight... not enough.
I got to hear from 2nd sources about how I didn't deserve to have this baby.
How many people wanted babies and I wasn't even trying and one just got handed to me... and now I wasn't even happy about it.
I only tried once to discuss the truth of the matter to one of these people before giving up.
I didn't have the energy to waste on someone else's negativity. I haven't spoken with her since and I'm amazed at how little I feel the loss. How little pain it causes once you've lost respect for someones opinion. That was my first lesson in giving up something I had nurtured. Something I had loved...
It was going to be the first of many.

I decided to stop lifting. I always got a few scattered contractions when we bench pressed, so I put it away.
I cut my 5 miles a day down to 2. The summer was hot and I couldn't risk dehydration.

LockeYoga was really picking up.. in one week, I got 11 calls from brand new clients. As tired as my swelling body was, I had worked really hard to get to this point. Figuring early pregnancy fatigue was a fine thing to muscle through, I took client after client. Accepted a position at yet ANOTHER studio. Volunteered to teach a few scattered classes for an office full of very overworked caregivers.

During each class.. one or two contractions.
After... sporadic contractions for a few hours.

I asked my doctor if it was safe and he assured me it was not only safe, but incredibly good for my little one. Always happy to do what's best for him, I continued accepting positions.

At about 5 1/2 months.. the contractions changed. My belly would be completely flat for hours and I would sweat and sometimes see a few stars from the intensity.

Then I began to dilate.

The nurses at the doctors office said he would call me back. They never gave him the message. I called again. He was gone for the weekend. I called the on call doctor. His nurses assured he would call back. 8pm... they told me to go to the ER.

I was sent back to the couch for the weekend. Tears dripped off my chin for days and I couldn't eat because of the pain. Walking became a challenge.. not because of the discomfort, but because of my crippling fear that the upright position would make things worse.

Again, come Monday evening the pain had decreased significantly.

Those days on the couch forced me to truly examine my energy expenditure.

I have spent 4 hard years building LockeYoga.
In the early days, I missed my fair share of meals because of how tight money had become.
I had to rebuild my client base when a rival told several of my clients that my certification was fake. That I had injured a client. That I was overweight and unqualified to teach anything about a healthy lifestyle. Untrue as it was, people's faith in you is fickle and they moved on.
I stayed up nights designing programs to incorporate a wheel chair for a client with advanced MS.
I cried when, for the first time in 4 years, he stood behind his chair to hug me. The only standing he had done in that time was to move himself from the chair to the bed.. with the help of several rigged bars.
I struggled with a program for a girl with a severe spinal cord injury. A couple with Parkinson's. A mother with 3 children. An obese woman who only wanted to be able to one day paint her toenails again.

My several group classes comprised 50% of advanced yogis and 50% newcomers. Watching them shift in beautiful rhythm from a lunge into Goddess... hands to the ground and in unison fly into crow... Nobody knew who had never tried before, other than the giggles and cries of victory as they realized their body's true ability..

I thought of how much I had given to this thing I believed in so much... that had finally made me believe in myself.

I used my remaining time on the couch to make 2 online posts and about 2 dozen phone calls.

4 years. It took me 4 years to create something out of my investments, sweat, and passion.
It took me about 20 minutes to shut the whole thing down.

I stopped teaching in September. Completely stopped.

It only took me 5 minutes of knowing I was this perfect human's mother to know I would give up anything to know he was safe.
It took only an hour of being stubborn and forcing my body to submit to something it was resisting to realize how easily he could be taken away.

I have switched health care providers from our OB to an amazing midwife with an incredible support staff.
We have re-prioritized the people in our lives and therefore cut out a significant amount of negativity.
We have painted our nursery and spent hours jabbering at the fluttering mound that blocks my view of my toes.
We all want to believe in something, but we have to allow ourselves to accept it when it's in front of our eyes.
If we ever saw a real dragon... we would call it a lizard.
If we saw a fairy, we would know it was just a bug.
And the day I found faith again, when I found something to believe in- when I saw the face of love.. I only thought it was the face of my son peering back at me through a black and white screen.

Quick check back..

2012-11-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

33 weeks and counting!

Hey guys!
So the whole.. being pregnant with a superhuman thing is hard work! A little exhausting, but I just wanted to send you a quick note =)
I have a whole new enthusiasm for making allergen-free foods fun... I recently found out one of my favorite humans alive is dealing with autoimmune issues and is beginning a gluten free adventure =) So I'll be extra sure to post more frequently. And for now.. I dunno.
You guys wanna see how fat I've gotten???
You DOO??? ;)
It's hard to give you accurate estimates on how far along I am in each as we have 3 due dates...but I'll give you my best approximation ;)

10 weeks

12 weeks

11 weeks

14 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

19 weeks

23 weeks + Bed Head =)

25 weeks

27 weeks

29 weeks

31 weeks

See you soon, my little love!

Cauliflower Crust Pizza.. Cuz I'm sorry and I love you!

2012-10-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

I always smile from deep in my heart when I find out someone actually reads these silly thoughts I keep in my head.. but I think of it more as a passing fancy or mild distraction from homework or dishes for them. So when someone comes to me and says a post is missing, I am shocked that anyone keeps that kind of track! Then when I notice I have 14 emails about a missing post, I want to give each of my 5000 unique views a hug for actually paying attention <3

Yes.. you will notice that "VigilAuntie Justice", my post about sticking up for people smaller than you and my recipe for Cauliflower crust pizza, is missing.
I would love to showcase some righteous indignation at the blogsite for deleting a post about doing what's right.. about being strong! About eating Pizza!!!!!
Unfortunately, your humble narrator has nobody to blame but herself...
I have a habit of writing up most of a post and leaving it in draft when I get caught up in work or when my computer catches a virus and I need to step away for a while... then I never get back to the draft and simply start the post over. VigilAuntie Justice was probably my 4th or 5th attempt at getting all of my thoughts out and in an attempt to clean all of my drafts off my list, I accidentally deleted it.

Now laugh if you must.. but I believe that one day there will be a cure for computer illiteracy!
Feel free to donate money to the cause (or donate money to feed my Peppermint Mocha addiction.. either way). Until then, please accept my apologies and this new and improved post about how to make delicious, grain free pizza =) =)

There are several ways to go about this, so forgive my lengthy post!

Ingredients:
1 head of cauliflower OR 2 bags of frozen cauliflower
1/2 lb of mozzarella cheese (plus more for topping)
1tsp garlic powder
1tsp oregano
1 tsp basil
1 egg

If using fresh cauliflower, chop roughly before steaming. ****If you want to make your crust EXTRA special, you can use aromatics in your steam water. For instance, I throw a handful of fresh rosemary into the water before steaming the cauliflower if I'm making Greek pizza... Some fresh lavender and a few cloves if I'm making Indian pizza
Once cauliflower is tender, set aside in a colander to drain off as much liquid as possible.

Use this time to grate your cheese. When I say 'Grate' I mean cheat and throw it in the food processor ;) You're going to be using it in a minute anyway...
Grate any cheese you will be using as toppings as well and set aside.

Now CAREFULLY add your cauliflower into your empty food processor with the grate blade on top.

I like to lay out a clean bath towel and line it with paper towels. Carefully spread cauliflower onto your paper towel.

Fold towel over and press out any extra moisture with a heavy book.
Or....

Believe it or not, some people don't like Cavemen sitting on their food. I dunno.. to each their own ;)

Once you have removed all the moisture you can, carefully remove cauliflower from the towels and blend with 1/2 lb of cheese, as well as your egg, garlic, oregano, and basil.
Carefully line a cookie sheet or pizza pan with PARCHMENT PAPER... not foil. Not wax paper... I'm sure there is SOME amount of greasing your pan you could do to make your crust not stick, but I have not found this amount and simply opt for parchment.

I personally prefer to form individual sized crusts, as it gives each of your guests the opportunity to build their own perfect pizza.. It also gives you the option to make a double batch and freeze individual crusts once they're baked and have an easy, Delicious snack or meal ready whenever you are =)

Press the crusts out thin for crisp pizza and set your top rack as high as you can. Broil and flip (another reason for individual sizes.. you can flip with a spatula instead of having to use 2 pans!)

Once your crusts are broiled on both sides, top with whatever make you happy =)

Throw them back in the oven until cheese is melted and enjoy your delicious, guilt free pizza.

Thank you all so much for following along with me!
I do my best to always provide you with thought provoking entertainment and am so grateful for my followers! <3

Love.. of the heirloom variety

2012-09-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

Abrabacon and I like to go to the farmer's market on the weekends.
We basically rob them of free range chicken eggs and grass fed liver and hearts to feed our dogs.
We find hilarious hippies playing harmonicas for change and amazing little kids with violins.. squeaking out every 4th note or so.. making them no less amazing <3
We find tomatoes. The kind I'll actually eat.
I LOVE tomatoes.. but not hydroponically grown orange-red perfect orbs that taste like wax and water.
I will only eat tomatoes a couple of months out of the year, and only when they're ugly.
Not ugly by my standard, mind you. But not uniform. Not symmetrical. Not beautiful by societal standard.
I like heirloom tomatoes.

They look bruised and have strange growths on them. Lumps and bumps where they don't belong..
And when you cut into them, they're a maze of thick flesh and random seed hotels. Tiny caverns in the most disorganized of patterns. The smell forces your eyes closed as you think of all the delicious preparations.
Your brain paints you intricate pictures of salads and sandwiches.. bruschetta with basil and blts made with mashed avocado instead of mayo.. <3

These delicious foods you'll never quite taste... this sweet bulbous mass will never make it to the cutting board. You've already begun sinking your senses into the homely fruit.. juice dripping off your elbows. Gums tingling with the acids.

That's ok. Save the recipes for that mess of hydros you can buy at the grocery store for next to nothing because they ARE next to nothing. The ones genetically modified not for taste or nutrition, but for aesthetic and it's ability to travel. Wax coated and never a flaw... For sturdiness, not substance.

And it's not just tasteless tomatoes that have had the real value genetically coerced out of them.

When the days of time travel finalllllly get here, make your first stop some time before the year 1800. Go get yourself a banana. When you ask for one, just go ahead and accept whatever foreign looking object is handed to you... that IS a banana. I know. Stop crying. I know...
Or perhaps you'd like to know what a chicken really looks like?
Hint: Nobody should have breasts that big.
Which brings me to another point......

I have a crush on heirloom variety humans.

Not the ones who have had their flaws burned, sliced, lipo'ed, implanted, bleached, pinned, dieted, cut, molded, or squeezed out of sight.
I love a girl with a spattering of freckles.
I like a guy whose hair isn't gelled into undone perfection.
I like a head of hair that fingers can find their way through without fear of clumps of overly bleached or glued-on tresses finding themselves upheaved.
I don't like spending time in groups of people who look like episode 7 of whatever tv show is on these days.. everyone color coordinated and wearing the perfectly tailored $250 jeans.
Not hydroponic people who practice their 'networking laugh' and their 'business flirting' smiles in the mirror every day.
I'm in love with people who were bred for quality..
The ones with minds you want to cut open and enjoy.. not hide in a melange of other flavorless ingredients.
The ones with perspective... usually different from mine. Ones I can argue with and they don't mind becoming passionate about a topic (Truly impassioned discussions look ugly.. red faces. Tears..) The ones who go off script.

So.. my beautiful friends <3
I'd like to thank you all for being delicious.
For being bright and colorful. For not being afraid of maybe looking a little different.
For sillywalk parades and nutrient-dense nights full of something new.
I love my heirloom life <3

So... You wanna do something besides eat those tomatoes like apples?
Suit yerself!

Tomato Salad

3 heirloom tomatoes carefully diced
1 large cucumber, seeded and diced
6 oz feta cheese, crumbled
fresh or frozen mint (optional) bruised and chopped
2 tsp sour cream

Mash your feta and sour cream together with a fork until they form a creamy/chunky base
Add veggies and mint
Serve with Greek Meatballs or.. basically anything! Nom <3

Follow your Amygdala..

2012-08-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Rather frequently, I get random odd words stuck in my head.. liking the way they sound and rolling them around in my mind for a while. The word often gets stuck there until a new word takes it's place. For a long time, it was the word Ampersand. I imagine it floating through my brain, taking on the very shape of what it represents. &mpers&nd. I let it curl and flower in my thoughts until something came to shuffle it out of place and occupy that useless part of my brain which is relegated to clinging to random words...

Ampersand was replaced by Cloyyyyying. Cloying was replaced by Agelast.. which made me sad to think about, and therefore found itself lodged until I forced another word into it's place. I like the word Acquiesce... it's a beautiful sound for what it means.

Then one day, I opened a family sized bag of skittles to pour into a dish at work.. and the word Amygdala popped into my brain. I immediately knew why he found himself floating in my middle mind, rolling himself around.. looking for attention.

Amygdala.. his job is to connect emotional responses with external stimuli. Connect a song with the ex boyfriend who played it while I made him dinner. Now I feel wistful when Skinny Love pops up on my playlist.. or when I make rosemary chicken. The taste of the cinnamon gum he chewed just in case I wanted to kiss him too..
Listening to Glycerine as we sat in the car, watching rain fall on the moon roof, knowing we were both just waiting for the song to end... and for us to end.

Connect the sound of ice clinking as it melts in a glass to a warm summer night, fireflies, and lemonade. The taste of canned pineapple to the day I visited Schmom in the hospital after she had my little sister.. I climbed in her bed and she shared her tray of what could almost be confused for food with me as we gazed at the tiny bundle at her side.

Connect the smell of a family sized bag of skittles with the memory of the green candy dish I bought at my Aunt's garage sale.

It was ages old, and I was just happy to have a little piece of family history... and for only $1.25! Self medicating with the brightly colored confection as I spent my teenage years and early 20s suffering from insomnia.. Blindly prizing the sugary remedy from the dish at 4am while watching Undergrads and Home Movies. Years after the green bowl was lost (in a move... borrowed.. broken.. who knows) skittles still smell like 4am. Quiet hours to myself. Pre-facebook. Pre-Myspace. Delicious sweetness.

When the caveman leaves the lid off his supply of vinegar, which he does almost daily... my dear amygdala doesn't connect it with the thousands of times I've smelled it on his skin post-shower.. it brings me instead to those precious few memories of standing around the kitchen with my 8 siblings, tiny capsules of color dropped into a coffee cup filled with water and white vinegar.. box of Paas ripped open and tiny wire spoon already bent beyond usefulness. It's ok.. we'd use our fingers anyway. And Dad would bring in a white crayon to magically write an invisible message to us on the dollar egg.

Burnt toast will always be a morning spent with Schmom.. The coffee cup always felt so heavy in my 3 year old hand, almost too heavy for me to pull it to my mouth.. but I managed. Listening intently to my mother's side of the conversation she was having on her daily call to my grandma as I crunched on my burned toast and bacon sandwich.. melted butter collecting crumbs at my lips.. bacon tearing at the roof of my little mouth. I'd stare down at my baby brother strapped in his seat, hoping he admired me for being old and mature enough to take part in such an adult ritual as sitting at the table with our mother over coffee..

My attempts at purchasing clothes to fit my brand new awkwardly shaped body could be the beginning of their own memory, but alas. Each over-sized smock and loose waisted blouse smells like my first day of Kindergarden. A dark blue dress with giant roses splashed everywhere.. I would try to wear it every day for my first 2 years of school.. long after my skinny legs were too long for it to be an acceptable length. I simply began wearing pants underneath. It was among the first pieces of clothing that was MINE. My 6 sisters had never.. and WOULD never wear it. The taffeta layer beneath the skirt would leave scratches on nobody's legs but mine, as I refused to pass it down to my younger sister. One day, Erin finally got sick of looking at the threadbare piece of fabric I clung to so desperately and did away with it while I was at school. It was a mercy killing, really...

Amygdala.

I write it out with flowering letters. I make it tall and thin. I shade it, to give it depth and dimension..

Amygdala.

The memories of who I was. The scents that remind me that I am still that girl.

The Cool Water that will always smell like my first kiss.. awkward and clumsy. The stubble on his face making me want to pull away, but being too shy to let him see my burning cheeks. Not knowing if I simply didn't like being kissed, or if I was just doing it wrong. Turns out, I like being kissed. Just not by guys who smell like cool water...

A bottle of J'adore will always smell like my first date with the caveman. I wanted him to think of me as a woman, not the girl in a uniform and ponytail at the gym where we met. So I bought it. Citrusy. Delicate. Beautiful..

Perfect for a night of miniature golf and pancakes at Denny's..

Or the stick of Obsession Erin gave me to wear to school on Valentines day my 6th grade year. I was going to tell a boy I liked that it was about time he stopped acting like he wasn't in love with me. I chickened out. The Obsession broke in my backpack and spilled all over my candy hearts, which I didn't realize until I'd popped 3 in my mouth. Be Mine, Call Me, and You're Sweet will always taste like mystery.. and a chemical burn on my tongue.

Amygdala.

Every day, my brain is exposed to these stimuli. How busy you are, drawing me lines and making these connections for me!

How much more will I love you when I'm old.. too tired to make new memories? When I lie in my bed and slide my fingers over pictures of my sweet Baby Boy.. these ultrasound pictures I already treasure so much. Pictures of his first day of school, smelling like new clothes and crayons. Pictures in his football uniform, smelling of sweat and promises. Pictures of him leaving for college, smelling like goodbye.

Amygdala.

Such a beautiful word....

You're not the boss of me, Baby! And pancakes =)

2012-07-27T16:49:00.003-07:00

As I stare at the shopping list I've been handed by the lovely lady of the house where I spend my afternoons, I am again reminded that I need to actually EAT something.. And it has to be FOOD. Stop writing eggs and lunchmeat. Stop writing 'fruits and veggies' on my shopping list and tell me what you really want. What the Baby wants... You have to stop denying him. When he makes you crave something, it means it's what he wants to eat.

This is a nearly constant scenario since I've announced my pregnancy. Increasingly frequent reminders that my cravings for hot chocolate with a 6 inch whipped cream cap and half a dozen chocolate dipped and chipped cookies are my baby's way of telling me how to make him happy.

I'm a terrible mother already for giving this child blueberries when he wants rice crispie treats dipped in molten chocolate and rolled in graham cracker crumbs. He's telling me what he NEEDS.
My baby has a very severe Potato Ole deficiency.

However.. the baby needs to start to understand something.. and hopefully all of the helpful advisors out there will read this and better understand my stance on the matter...

I don't blame my little half pound, half gestated womb-renter for my sudden urges to throw all of my nutritional knowledge to the wind. I'm going to gain a lot of weight anyway, why not do so deliciously?

See. This kid has the IQ of a negative 4 month old.

Well.. this is sure to be a very advanced member of the species.. so maybe the IQ of a negative 2 month old ;)

All the same. I'm pretty sure I'm in a better place to decide what he or she should and shouldn't be eating.

After all, when BamBam is 4 and wants to leave the broccoli on his plate and eat a piece of cake instead, I'm going to overrule. Why shouldn't I do so when I'm actually in control of what he eats?? I'll spend the rest of my life wishing I could make him like brussel sprouts...

I want to give this perfect little human every chance at being his healthiest, strongest, smartest self. I'm not going to accomplish this by feeding him all of the deep fried foods covered in Nacho cheese he seems to covet so strongly...

Also.

Pretty sure it's me craving it, anyway.

So I try to re-interpret these cravings.

Wants: Potato Chips

Gets: Root Veggie chips in TallowWants: Cake

Gets: A bowl of mixed berries in heavy cream

                    Wants: Boursin with butter crackers
                    Gets: Boursin slathered potato pancakes
                              Wants: Nachos. All of the Nachos.

Gets: Cottage cheese with green olives

Wants: An oatmeal cookie with a glass of chocolate milk

Gets: An oatmeal cookie with a glass of chocolate milk

Cuz.. well. Hush.

And when what THE BABY wants... or rather, when what his pregnant cavewoman wants is pancakes, Sir Abrabacon does the following:

Mixes

8 whole eggs

1tsp cinnamon

and 3 scoops of Vanilla Whey Protein Powder (you may need more, so keep it close)

Continue adding powder until you've reached pancake batter consistency. Heat a skillet until a drop of water beads up and then butta yo pannnn!

Cook em up pancake style. I should have to 'splain that part, silly ;)

And then top with your favorite pancakey goodness!

I used heavy whipping cream (actual cream, not the stuff in the freezer) and berries <3

Mmmmmmm =)

A note on Mothers and flourless microwave minute cake

2012-05-13T07:17:00.002-07:00

As I reflect on this, my last not-quite-yet-a-mother's day, I need to call attention to a handful of incredible, beautiful women who made me who I am today.

I will obviously mention my mother who raised 9 children. Who, at the age of 19 packed her infant daughter up and flew to Germany to be with my dad. Who, while pregnant, went to school to become a nurse. I love the story of how she studied while pregnant with me, delivered me on a Thursday and took her final that Monday.. as a pregnant lady, I can't imagine retaining enough information to remember what I went to the store for, let alone a nursing school final! I love the quiet memories of hiding behind the kitchen wall while she cooked, just trying to remember how she put certain meals together... an act that served her well a few years later when I took over the cooking and she came home from her 12 hour shifts to a hot meal. The day when I got in her car after school and she rushed me home, not telling me why. Commanded I go upstairs and change.. I have 5 minutes. Not knowing what I was to change into, but not wanting to challenge my mother, I took off. There on my bed... a pink leotard. Little pink shoes. Pink tights. I don't remember if we drove to my first day of ballet, or if I flew....

I will mention her mother... who was brave enough to raise her children on her own. Who worked as many jobs as she could get her tired hands on to feed her children, often enduring grueling physical labor working at the packing house for half (or less) than men were making for the same work. As tired as she was, she made a weekly date with her children to cuddle up in the livingroom and watch Creature Feature with a weekly treat of soda and candy. She would wake you up at 4am to have a cup of coffee and play Yahtzee. From Grandma Fisher, we ladies became stubborn and strong willed. We learned that excuses are for the weak, and we would never do her the dishonor of being such. She was our Joan of Arc.. the strongest woman in the world, and I see her every day in the actions of my incredible sisters.

I think of Shannon, the captain of the Locke sister team. I remember a year, Shannon was newly single and had 5 perfect sons to feed, clothe, and keep from knowing things were tough. She could have worked a as a waitress and flirted for enough tips to keep the lights on... but she decided instead that this was the time to go to school. She worked so hard, staying up to study after a long day of work, school, running her sons everywhere, cooking, and keeping the house and laundry up... just to wake up bright and early and do it again. She never snapped.. she never pushed her sons away when they needed her and patiently, she got her degree. Those 5 incredible boys are such a testament to their Mother's strength and love.. One of them has graduated and moved out, another is graduating today. Brilliant, beautiful boys who I am so proud to know!
Now, after raising those 5 sons into teenagers, she has 2 baby daughters to start over with. She is the picture of motherhood.. and I'm so thankful for her <3

Heather... where to begin???
She's my best friend. I've looked up to her since I was.... born. She is strong.. but she is so much more. I've mentioned her before, and I mention her often. If we've ever met, you've heard me tell you about my other mother, my sister Heather. You've heard me tell you about her taking me to see Frankenstein at the community playhouse. Or the time she tried to help me fix my overly highlighted hair by buying a box of red... I looked like the koolaid man! Then we ran to the store at 11pm to find a box color and HOPEFULLY fix it... Or renting a cabin and bringing us kids out to make s'mores and go swimming. Taking us to Joe's lake, just to get us away. I'm thankful for Heather every day.

Erin taught me everything I ever needed to know about how to perform an opera in the basement. Step one: Stand on the pool table. There are better acoustics up by the ceiling... Step two: Put a book on your head. If it doesn't fall off, you were not emoting. Step three: Always have a large pizza on hand. The grease.. uhm. Lubricates your vocal cords? And step three: The words aren't important. I hope these are the same lessons she's teaching her 7 children as they grow under her creative eye!

My Little Lindsay.. Sweet little sister <3 She's always been a bit of a tough cookie. Not so mushy as myself. Not SO sentimental. Another hard worker. Determined and strong.. and then one lovely Christmas, she announces she's going to have a baby. This tough little cookie didn't give an inch of her strength over, but instead became the perfect example of how a person can be tender, loving, kind... but firm. I've never seen anyone look at someone the way she looks at her son. I imagine if a blind person wakes one day.. vision restored, just in time to see their first sunrise. Every day.

I can only begin to hope that I can show the strength and love these women have taught me. I hope I can make them all proud of the Mother I will become.

I have so many other Mothers to thank... but I will leave you with this: If you've ever loved someone with everything you have.. if you've ever given over the 'best slice' or the 'pretty piece of cake' or the last of dinner to someone you love more than yourself.. if you've ever spent a sleepless night tending to a fever.. if you've ever worked yourself so hard you don't know how to keep standing... then remembered the sweet face of the one you love and found new strength... Happy Mother's Day.

Flour-less Microwave cake! (perfect for your favorite Mama!)

Soooo easy... 1 minute to prepare

1/4 cup ground flax seed
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cocoa powder
1 tsp butter or coconut oil

You could throw some walnuts in if you like.. mix into a coffee mug and microwave on high for 50 seconds.
That's. It.
You could get creative and sink a piece of dark chocolate into the center to make it a molten cake, if you like =)

That's all I've got for you today.. give your favorite mama a hug and a cup o' cake today and smile <3

My tiny project that has kept me away... And a cavegirl goes colonial. (Butter)

2012-05-11T07:20:00.002-07:00

Hey guys!! It's been a while =)

Many of you already know why.. but I'll get to that.

For starters, I delivered all of the donations to the Open Door Mission a while back and just wanted to update you on that... after about 2 dozen trips around Omaha picking up your clothes, food, and toys you were ready to part with (And a couple of group pick ups at the gym I teach at) and 3 trips in my little tiny Mazda to get them delivered, 1200 pounds were donated to the people who need it the most.

I was so overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and loved ones.. and perfect strangers!!!

So with that, the LockeYoga food and clothing drive is closed and has left me incredibly satisfied with the beautiful people in my life. Thank you <3

This project filled me with joy and energy and determination.. so I decided to use that momentum to start a weekend project: Free Will Donation Yoga in the Park!

Simple idea.. coffee can at one end of my yoga mat. Throw in some pocket change or a couple of dollars and flow with your friends. Many people can't afford studio prices and still others just find the whole scene too pretentious.. this gives them the opportunity to pay only what they want to!

Plus, the atmosphere is amazing.. Zorinsky Lake is so beautiful! And the park nearby gives any children attending a place to play while their parents practice their asana!

I maintain this was an amazing idea.. but the weather didn't cooperate right away..

That's ok. Spring is fickle.. it'll work out!!!

Then.. I started feeling tired.

So incredibly tired... that the back of my mind started telling me something was wrong.

Sometimes, everything would be just fine.. til suddenly I'd just become ill.

I didn't want to tell The Caveman how worried I was, so I just tried to sleep a lot..

I finally decided I would visit a doctor.

Not knowing how worried I was, Abrabacon handed me a pregnancy test.

Just to humor him.... just to make him stop teasing me.... Knowing it would be negative, I sulked into the bathroom.

Sooooooo.

Guess what guys????

That's our tiny little cavebaby, BamBam <3 <3 <3 I love him/her so much!!!

So the theme of this blog might be changing ever so slightly... to that of a Paleo Pregnancy =)

As I sit here with my morning sickness bucket on my left, my Paleo Banana Bread on my right, and my Caveman fawning over my as-yet-not evident baby belly, I am so excited to take you all with me on this journey!

So I'll see you all Saturday morning at 10 or Sunday night at 6 for yoga in the park.. and until then, just a small recipe (since food sounds like an awful idea just now!)

Alright, so butter...

If you've been Paleo for a while, you know how important grass-fed butter is... and you probably know how hard it is to locate at your local grocery store.

However!!!

You can probably find grass-fed cream!

Turns out, butter is ridiculously easy to make.

Ready?

Ingredients: Grass fed Cream.

Yup. That's it.

But here's where you can learn from my mistakes ;)

I poured my cream into this glass bottle and shook it like a polaroid picture... but didn't really think ahead to how I would get the butter out...

So my NEW recommendation is that you put your cream into a food processor or blender and just overwhip it.

When it's coagulated and begun to form chunks, you're there! Now spill this all out into a sieve or colander and rinse with very cold water (the liquid dripping out is buttermilk, so you can save this if you want to use it in other recipes later!) and press out with a rubber spatula.

And that's it! You've got butter =)

If it tickles your fancy, you can salt your cream before you begin whipping or shaking or stirring the living daylights out of it.. or you can add roasted garlic or pepper... whatever you want to season your butter with =)

Simply Decadent; The art of being happy =) And yet another pizza my heart (part 2 of 3)

2012-03-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

I was thinking the other day about some of the odd places my little life has taken me.
I thought of my treasured Givenchy sunglasses (which I lost at a yacht party in 2005)
I remembered how worried I was to sweat on them. I also remember the party itself.. the last of it's kind I ever plan to attend.
I remember being excruciatingly bored and a little grossed out at the middle aged men who were hitting on me. I remember wishing we were playing sand volleyball instead of drinking high volumes of alcohol and having to pretend I wasn't starrrving.. I wanted a hot dog and to jump off the yacht to swim (Not allowed in my ludicrously expensive swimsuit, nor by the silly standard that had been set by the other *painnnfully thin* ladies of the party) I wanted to fish!
And then one of the waiters said something funny and I signed my high society death warrant.. by laughing.

That was when I came up with my little theory about class and happiness...
But first, let's do a little visual product comparison, shall we?

This is an ad for David's Bridal.. one of their $99 dress sale advertisements.

When I look at this picture I think... this girl is pretty happy to be getting married!

She's joyful.

Glowing...

This lovely lady is wearing Monique Lhullier.

She looks... bored.
And maybe a little afraid of the dress itself, if not what it represents.

Shall we try another?

Cute panties, lady!

And cute smile....

Those are undies you can do cartwheels in.. you can wear under your clothes while you play sports or workout.

Those are skivvies you can laugh in =) =) =)

It would seem there is something desirable about looking morbidly uncomfortable.

She's not gonna sleep in that, you realize?

She can't.. she's too busy glaring at you.

Hm.

Let's try again.

Clinique Happy

You know you're smiling =)

Noticing a trend?

So from this, we are to surmise that the ultimate status symbol is a grimace.
Class is to be equated with boredom and misery and if you're smiling, you belong in the $99 dress sale with exhibit A.
And me...

Which sent me on a memory scavenger hunt. All of the times my ridiculous grin betrays my status. All of the moments that make yachts and Roberto Cavali seem cheap and contrived.

So here they are... my top 5 favorite nights. Ever. And always. The way I will spend my time no matter how much money I do or do not have.

5. Sipping on one of The Caveman's famous Chocolate Cherry martinis while we watch the sun set on our deck.. SashaDog and Juno playing in the yard and our summer station playing on Pandora.

4. Laying in bed all night watching movies, wrapped up in the one I love, a bottle of New Age on the nightstand and some takeout sushi close at hand.

3. The utter decadence of having chinese delivered to our home.. to likely be eaten with our hands. If I'm making someone else cook for me, there's no way I'm doing dishes ;)

2. Hanging out with Smalls or one of my nieces, mud masks cracking our faces into the ancient versions of ourselves as we paint toenails and sing along to the radio... loudly...

1. Sitting in a bubble bath having my love read to me. I like it most when he uses the voices or accidentally acts things out with his hands... =)

And this is who I will be. No matter what... I'll never be a rich person.
A 6 figure salary couldn't change the fact that I know who I want to spend my time with.. and it's not someone twice my age and triple my gross income.
It's my family. It's my love. It's Sasha and Juno..
I AM Clinique Happy.
I hope you are too =) =) =)

Recipe time? Ok.. I guess so =)

Paleo Pizza! ~The Sequel~

BBQ Chicken Pizza... Nommmmm~

So you guys remember when The Caveman and I made Pizza a little while back, yeah?
Well.. not everyone is ok with a crust made entirely of cheese. No really! Some people have a problem with that!
So we present you with this alternative....
Cauliflower crust!

You will need:
1 medium-large head of Cauliflower
1 large egg
1 cup of finely shredded Mozzarella (or your favorite cheese... it'll work, trust!)
Oregano
Garlic powder
Onion powder

You can either microwave or steam your cauliflower until tender. Drain well! This is hugely important... leave it set in your colander in the sink for however long you like.
When as much water as possible has been drained out, throw your cauliflower into a food processor. Remove from your processor. Line a kitchen towel with paper towels and press cauliflower in towels until as much moisture as possible has been removed.
Return to your food processor and add cheese and seasonings. Press into a parchment paper lined pizza pan.
Broil on high until your crust is browned on top, then remove and CAREFULLY flip. Broil until the other side is crisp and top with your favorite pizza fixins ;)

We went with BBQ chicken... Abe makes his own BBQ sauce and if you're extra good, maybe one day you'll get the recipe for that, too ;)

Throw it back into the oven at 400 degrees and enjoy =)

Now that... is decadence <3

AbraBaconPalooza!!! A celebration of Life, Love, And Bacon. Which is also love...

2012-03-05T19:05:00.001-08:00

I'm not going to BEGIN to get all poetic and anecdotal on you with today's post.

You know what happened this weekend.
If you weren't there, you surely heard about it.
And if you weren't there... what the heck???? Where were you that was more important than AbraBaconPalooza?????
This is the third time we have palooza'ed the salty staple and might be our most successful foray into the world of meat-themed celebrations.. but that won't stop us from trying to top it!

So let's get right to the meat of the thing, eh?
Heh.
Meat.

So you know this guy by now, yeah?
Sir Abrabacon, The Caveman roommate..

This is his friend Babe-Rabacon.
I won't tell you how we discovered this, but there was candy in his belly ;)
He was a birthday gift from one of our Paloozaers =) =) =)
This weekend was a celebration of The Caveman's existence in our lives. Turns out, there are an awful lot of people who are glad he was born!
I'm not even the slightest bit surprised...

So to celebrate such a specimen of masculinity, a contest.
Who can bring the most creative and delicious bacon dish???

Creative points will probably have to go to our friend Fury.... Who invented for our purposes Bacon 7up!
Now.. the man was not brave enough to try it himself.. or even bring it himself. For fear of it's possible chromosome-altering powers, he sent it ahead with 2 professional fighters to guard the world from it's possible evils.
We later bet the entire group $20 that nobody would drink it.
Because of this, I cannot tell you how it ranked in the delicious category ;)
Someone WAS brave enough to take a shot.. but nobody ever heard from him again!
(but that's probably just because he doesn't have facebook and it was only a day and a half ago..)

Moving on to the appetizer round, I started our guests off with baked mushrooms stuffed with crab, bacon, peppers, celery, onion, and topped with parmesan.

I'd love to post a picture for you of how beautifully they turned out.. Alas, they did not exist long enough for my camera to fire up. I DO have one picture, but it's a blurry hand doing away with the last of the stuffed fungus.

I also had some potato soup with bacon crumbles as a belly warmer-upper.. easy enough to make, but every family has their secret recipe ;)

Another EASY and ridiculously addictive addition was our chocolate bacon fondue...

1 Bag of Chocolate Chips (any kind will do.. I think we used milk chocolate this time. Dark chocolate last)
About 4 oz of some cream based thinning agent (I've used chocolate liquor, Baileys, or half and half)
Bacon.

Trala!!!

Set up a double boiler (or a saucepan on medium heat if you have time to babysit it) melt your chocolate, stirring frequently. Add your cream very slowly or your chocolate will seize. If this happens, add the smallest bit of honey... it should set things right again =)Pour into a fondue pot and dip EVERYTHING into it.. cept your friends. They do not gusta. Trust.

Sticking with the dessert-theme, I decided to revisit my banana bread recipe.. making them into muffins.
When they were cooled, I took some bacon fat (we had a lot laying around ;) ) and some pure maple syrup, mixing them about 50/50 in a bowl.
First, I rolled just the top in the sticky, salty concoction.. but it was quickly decided that these muffins needed injected. I used my turkey baster to make them maple-bacon filled banana bread muffins.
My life will never be the same...

So.
This is an empty tray...
It's the closest I could come to the
Maple-Bacon Banana Bread Muffins.

And the final dessert I made was a Paleo Apple crisp with a bacon lattice...

5 or 6 medium apples (I used Braeburn)
1 1/4 cup almond flour
4 tbsp butter
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup local honey
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Clove
fresh ginger (optional)
6-9 strips of bacon

Preheat oven to 350 and butter the bottom of your baking dish.
Peel, core, and slice apples. You may choose to season them now in addition to seasoning the crumble mixture, but it is not necessary. Arrange them to your liking on the bottom of your dish and drizzle with lemon juice for added tartness and to prevent oxidization. You want them to be as even as possible, so slicing them on a mandolin and placing them one layer at a time is optimal!

In a separate bowl, mix your topping ingredients. Crumble and spread over the top of your apples. Cover with foil and bake about 30 minutes.
While this is baking, pre-cook 6-9 strips of bacon in a skillet or on a separate baking rack. Only cook them about 3/4 of the way to your satisfactory crispness.

Allow your bacon to cool enough to handle and remove your apple crisp from the oven.

Carefully (Without burning yourself, for instance) weave your bacon over the top of your crisp and return to the oven for another 10-15 minutes.

Bacon Jalapeno Poppers



   Spinach artichoke with bacon
   (These leftovers ended up in my eggs Sunday)

Bacon vodka bloody mary martinis, Bacon bourbon Old Fashioneds, Seasoned plantains fried in bacon fat, bacon scallion dip, Bacon frittata, parmesan crisps with crumbled bacon, bacon wrapped dates, candied bacon wrapped little smokies, bacon chili!!!!!!!!!

My mind reels at the cleverness of our friends and the versatility of a salty strip of swine...

So I close this lengthy post with a simple Thank you.
Thank you to our friends for making this night a delicious, silly success.
Thank you to everyone who stopped to tell The Caveman happy birthday.
And thank you to Abrabacon.. without whom this post, that party, and our life together would not be possible.

On behalf of all Happiness Ninjas, We love you! Happy Birthday <3

A credit to my kind. Defining self and defying lowered expection. Oh.. and bacon =)

2012-02-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

A day like any day.. standing in the grocery store marveling at the new assortment of flavors in my favorite yogurt brand.
A woman approaches me tentatively. Nervous seeming..
She held up a packet of Nori.
"Excuse me.. I'm so sorry to bother you. Uhm. Do your people eat this?"
I'm not sure how long it took me to respond..
Long enough to check around and know that she was talking to me.
Long enough to assess the woman. Probably 45-50. Well dressed and flawless in appearance.
Long enough to try to make a checklist of which of 'my people' she may be referencing.
I'm often confused for being gay.. but homosexuals don't have separate eating habits as far as I'm aware.
I've been confused for being a yuppy.. but not since I colored my hair blue (Thank Frank ;) )
Cutting and darkening my hair brought on the suggestion of Asian descent.
I'm sometimes confused for being a student.
People assume I'm vegetarian.. and usually Buddhist.
I've been told I occasionally speak with a slight accent.. in an attempt to properly enunciate I've been confused for both British and German.

At a complete loss.. I simply replied Yes. My people DO eat Nori.. but we don't like soy sauce.

By the time I got home I was completely stuck in my head. I started trying to define myself in the shortest terms possible. If someone were to refer to me in conversation, how would they do so?
I have friends and acquaintances with absolutely specific labels.
Gay Activist. Political. Militant Feminist. Persian. Nickleback Fan.

And it doesn't matter what the label is... you become a representative for Your People.
And with that comes the stereotypes.

This is Abrabacon.
He's a Mixed Martial Artist... A Cagefighter.

People understand that this means he is thick-skulled and slow witted.
People understand that while a great physicality, he is obviously unintelligent and brutish with a vile temper.

This is Abrabacon.
His IQ puts him in the genius category. For his birthday last year, I gave him blank canvases and paints. He turned them into tribal-inspired art for our livingroom. He occasionally wakes me up with eggs and bacon.. with melted cheese hearts on top.

He holds the door for a lady. Any lady.
He cooks.
He's adorable with kids and a fantastic teacher.
He volunteers with Children's Square and Big Brothers/Big Sisters Nebraska.
He's devastating in a suit.
He's patient with me when we're lifting together.

He does financial analysis and product development for his firm.

But if you were to refer to him in conversation... This is Abe. He's a fighter.

You know he's more than that.. but that's what you think when he enters your mind. And knowing all of these things about him you would think... he's a credit to fighters everywhere.

The lovely lady on the right is H.
She's a soccer mom.

She also runs several offices.. having to travel to Costa Rica on a very regular basis to do so.
She started running offices at the age of 17 when the grocery store she was SUPPOSE to be a cashier at seemed disorganized to her.
To this day it's unclear whether they promoted her or she promoted herself.. But it IS clear that nobody argued and the place had never run more smoothly.
She left once the place was in better shape and accidentally started running the corporate office for a large chain of restaurants based in our city.

I'm tough.. but she can kick my butt.
She invented this delicious cheese/pepper dish..
She made me a bookshelf for my birthday when I was a teenager.
Made it.

She's my therapist.

She's a life coach.

She's a college student.

She sings like an angel and she'll out dance you any night of the week (Except Wednesdays.. she teaches that night)
But we only get to be ONE thing, right?
So she's a mom.
But she's a credit to Moms who don't realize you can do EVERYTHING.. which sometimes includes drawing a mural of Buzz Lightyear riding a T-Rex for your son's bedroom.

And so when you define yourself... define yourself by what you ACTUALLY represent.

Feminists have a bad rep.. because the people who define themselves as such don't do 'their people' justice.
Stand up for women.. but not to the detriment of men. Hating men doesn't make you a feminist. It makes you a hypocrite.
Fighters aren't stupid... but wearing Tapout gear and brawling in a bar doesn't make you a fighter. That makes you a douche.
Studying the discipline and showing respect for your body and your opponent makes you a fighter.
Buddhists and Vegans aren't pretentious.
But preaching and lectures about why eating meat is evil and wrong doesn't make you vegan. It makes you phony and small minded.
Having respect for animals and yourself, recognizing this is YOUR lifestyle makes you Vegan. Respecting other people's journey makes you Buddhist.

So who am I? I really don't know.

But on behalf of all
StraightLesbianBuddhistNaturalist YuppyBrokeStudentVeganCarnivoreYogiBritish GermanChristianFeministBrilliantIdiots Everywhere...
Yes. We love Nori.
And I'll do my best to be a credit to anything you think I am.

The rest of the title is a bit of a tease, I do confess =)
For this weekend.. is the celebration of The Caveman's birthday!

His party will be called AbrabaconPalooza... and I feel it is quite self explanatory =)
Pictures and posts of all of our creations to you Monday.
Happy Leap Day, my beautiful friends!

The Multi-Purpose Blog; The Reasons my Friends are Better Than Your Friends; Mindful Eating or Dieting?; And, A Recipe For Disaster.

2012-02-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted as regularly as usual.. but it's been for some pretty good reasons, I assure!

But let's start this out right, eh?

Hi guys =) Missed you lately.. how've you been? How's your dog? And your Mom??
Tell me about that argument with your mailman...

I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it! You're a good person. I'm sure he was just lashing out because he was having a bad day =)

Frewf! I think we're all caught up =)

So here's the thing..
I need to tell you about my friends.

They're.... so wonderful. Just... I can't even begin!

I had a really terrible year last year. REALLY terrible.. Every bad thing that could happen did.
And before you ask.. yes. That too.
And I got to a point where all I could think about was what was going to go wrong that day, too.
And like clockwork, something went wrong. Every. Day.

But not just for me.. for just about everyone I know.
That's when you find out who people really are. When you need them the most and they need you the most and you have to decide who's going to be there for whom.
And I love the things I found out <3

So this year, I decided that I would try to help keep others from having another 2011.
I decided that the people in our community who are in the most need were deserving of a little extra help..

So at around 9:30 one night, I posted on my Facebook Wall 'Thinking about doing a food and clothing drive... anyone wanna help?'
I then shut down my computer and read a book until bedtime.. half thinking about what organization I could send clothes to. What kind of goal I should set.. I decided 300lbs of clothing was a pretty lofty goal.. but that I would keep collecting until I'd reached it.
I woke up the next morning to 39 messages in my inbox.

Formula donated by a Facebook friends <3

!!!

I was asked by friends and strangers for an address to send donated sundries and food. I've filled my gas tank twice in the last 10 days.. just from picking up donations.. I've found links to my page on the facebook pages of people I've never even spoken with.. just so they can help with the cause.

300 lbs.. seems so silly now.
I've recruited friends to keep things in their garages and apologized in advance to The Caveman for the piles in our entryway.

I'm so proud of the people I know.. I'm so proud that my friends can pull together for others.. to help make 2012 a more beautiful, joyful year.

Thank you, my beautiful friends. Thank you for turning your misfortunes and aggravations into hope for people who just need SOMETHING to hope for. Thank you for putting aside your pain and regrets from the last year and putting others first. Thank you for being there for others who are just starting their year of hardship. Thank you.

And I'll keep you all posted on the final tally for donations <3 I'm overwhelmed right now.. just. So thankful!

Part 2 of today's post is to address a pretty common concern.. and really, it's the reason I started this blog to begin with! The silly idea that because I eat a certain way, I am depriving myself of joy.
I assure you, this is not the case.
That's why I post all of the pictures of the delicious foods we eat.. to show that there is no deprivation or hunger. Ever. I am so content with our diet.. yes, I will occasionally eat something that's not Paleo Approved, but that's just life. That's not cheating, it's making a decision that in that moment, I'd rather have a slice of birthday cake than skip it.
The point of eating ANY way is to be mindful.
Vegans don't eat vegan because it's the easiest way to eat or because it's fun. They don't eat that way because it's the home of the most delicious food.. and every now and then, even a vegan will eat a piece of cheese or some shellfish. Is it cheating? No. It's making a decision that in that moment, their body wants something it doesn't usually have. But 90% of the time, a vegan is THINKING about what they put in their mouth.
A vegetarian will always ask if their barley lentil soup was cooked in chicken broth or veggie stock.
Because they think about what they're eating.
And someone with a peanut allergy will always ask what kind of oil their food is fried in.

It's not a diet.
It's not deprivation..
It's just rolling things around in your mind for a while before you put it in your body.

And last but not least, my sweet friends and followers..

A Recipe For Disaster

A friend of ours recently suggested Kelp noodles to take the place of some of our pasta dishes...
They're kind of crunchy and a little salty.. but otherwise, pretty flavorless.
You rinse them and boil them and they take on the flavor of whatever they're served with. They're also a really good source of Iodine.. and most people only get their iodine from salt that has had it added, so this was a pretty big bonus for us =)

However... sommmmeone (me) kinda messed it up. Otherwise, I'd have a really pretty picture of chicken stir fry with kelp noodles.. instead, all I can tell you is...
Check the batteries on your smoke detector.
Sigh.

And now, my sweet ninja friends.. I'm off to teach yoga at Bob's.
You'll hear from me again soon! Meanwhile, chin up =) And keep donating <3 <3

Love <3
S

A birthday wish, A thank you card, and Veggie Chips (a recipe for awesomeness)

2012-01-29T17:26:00.000-08:00

I didn't post for you yesterday.. and I apologize! The Caveman and I were celebrating my birthday.

Isn't it an amazing feeling to know that people are grateful you were born? To have hundreds of people stop their day to demand that YOURS is happy..
Try not to smile when you wake up to texts reading: Thank you for existing. Flowers that say Thank you for waking up next to me. A call from your Dad saying Thanks for being my daughter.

But with a birthday comes the stressful month before hand filled with questions about what you WANT.

I've been pretty broke.. so the answers are simple. Candy. I want a big box of chocolates..

I want a gift card that will buy me infinity Carmelicious Smoothies with an extra shot of espresso....

I want tank tops.. lots of them..

But.. I don't really Need those things. And the more I thought about it.. I don't NEED anything.

What I got was an amazing opportunity!
A friend of mine works for a local TV station and offered me the chance to come promote LockeYoga on their morning show!
Until now, all of my advertising has been through word of mouth among friends and former clients. This was a truly great opportunity and I am so grateful for it!

I'm relatively sure that my nerves got the best of me and I'm completely sure that I didn't say all of what I wanted to.. so I'm going to tell it all to you now.

LockeYoga means a lot to me. It represents something I've done completely on my own. I didn't have investors or mentors. I didn't have years of experience in the field to get me started. I only had my deep desire to help people who couldn't come to a studio and see what a difference yoga can make. The people who need yoga the most are the ones who can't come to a studio. MS sufferers who worry that they're slowly losing themselves to their disease. Parkinsons patients who struggle to keep up. People with Fibromyalgia whose bodies attack them without warning. Moms who don't want to leave their little ones behind.

Whatever reason you have for not working out and not putting yourself first is legitimate. You wouldn't risk your health if it were an option. I've taken sessions at 11pm for people who have uncooperative schedules. I've incorporated the weight of the precious infant you can't bring yourself to put down into a private, in-home class. I've turned chair flow into a game of rocket ships for your 4 year old who 'wants to play yoga, too!'

I was asked if I had any advice for other entrepreneurs.. and my advice to them is this:

Your business is a relationship. It's going to occupy all of your thoughts and all of your attention.. but you have to make time for your friends and loved ones. They're your support system. You need them.
If your friends don't believe in your new relationship, the first time you complain about his affinity for drinking out of the carton, he's toast. There will come a day when you're in a horrible mood and you want to call it a day.. and they're all for it. No questions asked. End it.

And when your business gets difficult, (And it WILL get difficult) an unsupportive friend would help to convince you that you should accept a different job. Give it up and cut your losses.

That's why it's important, not just for business owners, but for ANYONE, to make friends with people who believe in you. I could never have come as far as I have without my friends and The Caveman.
When I called my sister H crying, telling her I didn't know if I was going to make it.. she listened. Let me cry. Asked if I NEEDED anything. No.. I just don't know what I'm doing!

Yes you do, Sara. You've always known what you were doing. Keep trusting yourself. This is just a rough patch.

As I moved in with The Caveman I had to explain that I had never been a person to rely on anyone.. and that it was difficult for me to move in without a guaranteed paycheck.. maybe I should just take that bartending job I was offered???

No Sara. You've been trying to do this for a long time. I know it's hard and I know money will be tight for you, but if you need anything, just tell me. I promise, it's going to be ok.

And 2 and a half years ago when I told my best friend that there was a need in Omaha I didn't feel was being met... something I thought I might be good at.. and would it be a terribly stupid idea to start my own small business..?

He sent me a congratulatory bottle of wine to toast my future success and lent his services as a photographer to help me put my website together.

My sister L turned my Logo photo into a sign to hang in my home as a Christmas gift.

My friend Jenny at Jenacious Inc built my site and cheered me on..

So what could I possible want for my birthday?
What could I ever ask for that could make my life better than it is? More time to spend with these amazing people.. but time isn't something that can be given.
A better vocabulary to more eloquently thank the people who have loved me and believed in me since the first time I had to portion a jar of pickles as a week's worth of dinners...

No.. What I want for my birthday is to help make someone else's life easier, like my loved ones have done for me.

And I want you to help me!

I'm having a food and clothing drive and I want your unwanteds!
I've already collected hundreds of pounds and I'm calling The Open Door Mission tomorrow to beg them to accept our offerings. I'll be collecting until I've hit 700 pounds of donated goods. I'm so excited that my friends are so loving and caring and willing to help better the lives of people who are struggling in our city.

Thank you so much my beautiful, loving readers. I'm so incredibly thankful for every day I wake up to the life I share with you all!

Veggie Chips!!!!

Stuff you'll need:

Couple of sweet potatoes
1 bunch of beets
Turnips
Carrots
Sea Salt
Bacon Grease, Butter, Beef Tallow... Ok, you get it. Some kind of animal fat =)
Cinnamon (optional)

Turn on your broiler.. this is gonna go fast ;)
Either carefully slice your root veggies on a mandolin or be a cheating cheater like me and throw it in your food processor with the slicer blade

Drizzle your fat of choice and your sea salt onto your veggies and place in a single layer on your baking sheet. Broil for JUST A FEW MINUTES!!! Our dead battery in the kitchen smoke detector can attest to why you need to stay on top of this...
Pull your veggies out and turn them. Toss em back in.. You get the idea. Easy Peasy =) =)

Take another little Pizza my heart now, baby..

2012-01-21T15:47:00.000-08:00

Every now and again, I Benjamin Button.

Throw a tantrum.. pout. Kick stuff. Call everyone stoopid fayce dummy!

Seems that it's happened significantly more in the last 365 days.

I feel I can draw an almost exact line from the time I was a real grown up who got through her day with a smile on her face and the last time Pizza passed my lips.

Pizza.

Not Paleo Meatza, which is NOT pizza. Not close. It's lots of meat with lots of cheese on it. I. Do. Not. Like. It.

I want Pizza.

I capitalize Pizza like some people capitalize their children's names. The reason is simple. I have no children.. and thus, love Pizza more than I love any human. Even YOU!

Well. Maybe. I love a few of you quite an awful lot...

But the fact remains. Something has been missing in my life. Something fundamental and meaningful.

Something... Real.

I came to The Caveman in tears explaining I simply can't go on this way. Something has to change. A girl has needs and mine were not being satisfied.

Cold. Hard. Truth.

He took the news pretty hard. We've been such faithful cave kids this last year.. shuddering at the thought of a cheat.. but he wants me to be happy.

On the verge of a phone call to the hut of Pizza.. a game changer.

We found other paleo peoples who had the same needs as this cavegirl.. and could not be satisfied by bacon woven into a crust.

(Abrabacon is an enormous fan of this type of meatza.. and that's just fine. But when he makes it, I eat scrambled eggs)

This, my hungry friends.. is what we came up with:

PIZZA!!!! (With a Cream Cheese Crust)

Be warned.. this recipe is NOT for the Dairy Wary..

Stuff you're gonna need:

4 oz cream cheese

1/4 cup Grated Parmesan (Do it yourself, silly.. it's soooo much better that way)

8 oz Mozzarella (see above)

1 egg

Garlic powder

Oregano

Basil

Grate your cheese...

Mix Cream Cheese and Egg until they're light and fluffy. Blend in seasonings and add your cheeses. Mix into a batter...

Line your pan with Parchment Paper (Not Foil!! I know this is a picture of foil.. and that's why I can tell you NOT FOIL! For the love of Pete! NOT FOIL!)

And Butter your parchment.. cuz you can't be TOO careful =) =)

Chop up some veggies.. Brown some Italian Sausage...

It is highly recommended that while you wait for your crust to bake, you snack heartily on olives and pepperoni.

And then bake it at 325 for about 20 minutes (or until it looks about like this guy) and carefully flip it.. you want both sides crispy =) =) =)

Treat it like the incredible culinary relationship it truly is.

Sauce. Mushrooms. Olives <3. Green Peppers....

Or EVERY MEAT EVER!!!

And when it looks like this (ish)

Pop it back in the oven until it's all warm and perfect <3

****I would suggest that you do not add cheese on top of this guy.. the crust is very rich.. delicious.. but rich. SO. Adding cheese on top makes it TOO much****

I woke up and birds were chirping.. the sun was shining.. the dog was dogging..

I dunno. You get it.

Sometimes.. food IS love.

And sometimes.. SOMETIMES..

It's Pizza.

Adventure or Bust.. A sunny winter Omaha tour and Our Dinner with Al Capone

2012-01-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

One of my many failings as a ninja of happiness is my readiness to wilt when the sunshine has been taken away. I wither.. I fade.
But.. I got an early birthday present this weekend... a sunny Saturday afternoon <3
The Caveman took this opportunity to take me for a walk.
We headed to a few little shops here and there and made a point to each show the other a place we'd never been.
I took the boy to Penzey's, where we touched, taste, and smelled EVERY SINGLE SPICE in the shop. I was surprised he'd never been there before and we found some fantastic little gems. We also found out that your nose burns and you start sneezing after 12 minutes.
He took ME to Countryside Village.
He is staunchly opposed to caffeine consumption, but understands that a girl has needs.. so he brought me into The Village Grinder where I struggled to decide between a peanut butter mocha and the salted caramel (caramel won the day.. but just BARELY.. I'll be back for you, PB!)
This adorable little coffee shop (which employs only absolutely kind and clever baristas) is attached to The Bookworm. Books AND coffee... Grawr <3 <3

After an extended conversation with the proprietor about why vampires are a thing right now (It was decided that Cyborgs were in vogue when the Caveman was a teenager.. and that the vampire reign is just about over.. make way for Zombies) I was dragged kicking and screaming from the lovely establishment.

We found ourselves in Ferd's

Before heading to Wohlner's.. Where we found.... Him.

This is an Al Capone Roast.

Never heard of one? Neither had we..

It is a pork roast pounded flat. It is then lined with Italian Sausage, Salami, and Provolone cheese.

I sprinkled the top with Garlic, Pepper, Basil, and Oregano.

Baked at 350 for 20 minutes per pound.

It was really reminiscent of many Brat/Italian sammich kind of meals I've had in the past, so I decided to slice some onione, red, orange, and yellow peppers.. halve some cherry tomatoes and throw them all in a skillet with some butter. Pan roasted them down into a tender, gooey, sweet, and vaguely spicy (I tossed some crushed red pepper in there while I was at it) side..

And just for good measure, I warmed up some kraut to serve with it.

It.

Was.

Magical.

The Packers may not have won (seriously.. did they? We had company but I do my best to ignore the shouting coming to, and from the television on game day) but this meal was a perfect success <3

Happy fooding, my friends!

Grabbing life by the bawls.. How I learned to cry it out, live up to my name, and get it together in time to put a roast in the oven....

2012-01-12T09:59:00.000-08:00

I'm currently putting myself through a 30 day cleanse.. Cutting sugar and salt and drinking obscene amounts of water. Sweating for 2 hours a day. Giving away all of the things that still live in the garage (If I've lived without them for this long, I likely can continue living without them..)
In addition, I've started teaching a Mommy and Me class twice a week.. which is exciting!
AND! I've been invited to be interviewed on a local morning show for my business!

EXCITING!

But as I start checking things off of life's to-do list, I develop this crushing feeling. As I rush through each day, I just chalk it up to my constant busy-ness..
But now I've had time to stop and think.
The overwhelming feeling is that I'm almost done.
My list isn't that much longer and is comprised of things like.. get married. Have babies.. move to a sleepy coastal town just outside a bustling city and raise a family.
Not things to step on the gas pedal for.. things you hit coast and slow down. Look around.

So I cry a little sometimes. Because my right now isn't.. much.. enough. You know?
I just feel like.. There's gotta be more to life...

So here's what I need to do.. find that THING. The thing I've been afraid to do. The thing I always wanted and didn't think I deserved. I'm going to cry.. but crying isn't giving up. It's taking fear out of your heart to make room for more strength..
I'm going to stop trying to figure out who I am. I'm BEING who I am. Who I always was.

I've been a business woman.. worn suits and heels and makeup to work every day at 7am. Worked 60 and 70 hours a week and used phrases like 'Every dollar not spent goes straight to our bottom line' and 'Tell the coffee guy that if he brings me decaf again he's going to be #46 in the 100 worst ways to die'
It didn't suit me.
I've been the super perky manager of a gym.. bouncing from the front desk through cardio, cheering people on.. hopping back to the weight room to say hi to The Caveman (before he was a caveman and I was a ninja)

I've been a hippie yoga instructor.

I've been Marry Poppins.

I changed my job.. I changed my hair.

But then I figured it out...

I just needed to change my perspective =) =) (those are 3 of my gorgeous sisters, by the way...)
I have EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING! Look at my family.. those girls in that picture? They love me. A lot.
I've got yoga.. and I LOVE it <3
I have my volunteer ventures.. I am so grateful that even tho I don't have all the things I feel like a socially acceptable person keeps in her closet, I have enough to give to people who truly DON'T have what they need. NEED. And who cares about socially acceptable??
I've got Juno on my shoulder and Sasha on my legs. And I've got my Happiness Ninja-ing (the duties of which I have still not revealed ;) )

I have a boy who lets me cook for him and beat him in boggle.

I have a few close friends I can call when it's cry time.. friends who will hold my hand until I get to where I am today.. remembering that life is mine to take. And I'm taking it..

So, for the record. My life is amazing. Sometimes, I cry.. but when the awesomeness is used up, it just leaves my body through my eyeballs =)
I have to decide.. India, or Rome? Input. Please!!! I have decided that 2012 will be the year of Adventure!
I had given up on the idea after how terribly 2011 shaped up.. but I've decided that there are no more excuses. I'm going.
In the mean time.. wanna see the roast I made the other night? It was delicioussss!!!!

Starts easy peasy with a nice Chuck roast... Pat it dry with some paper towels, Salt it up, and sear it on High heat in a skillet.

Chop up some Carrots, Onions, Garlic Cloves, Celery, Mushrooms, Potatoes if you wanna.... whatever you like!

Place your beautifully seared beef on top of your veggies and throw some Bay Leaves on top.
You can deglaze the pan you seared in with white wine, beer, beef stock.. whatever you fancy (I'm watching my salt so I just used water) Once the pan is deglazed, add the liquid to your roasting pan with your veggies and beef. When you have about 1/2 inch of liquid in the bottom of your pan, throw your lid on and toss it in a 275 degree oven for 4 hours (ovens vary, yada yada..)

Try to leave it in the oven until it's done.. around the 2 hour mark it's going to smell so good you're going to be in some trouble.. TRY to wait!! You'll be glad you did =) =) =)

Carrot Ginger soup

2012-01-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

Mid-week recipe for you lovelies today =) Easy and warm and delicious <3
Also, I know a few of you are doing beginning of the year cleanses.. this soup is a delicious addition to any detox diet!

1 medium onion, diced

3 cups carrots, diced
1/2 inch ginger, peeled and grated
1 tbsp curry powder (optional for added heat)
6 cups of filtered water
Fresh parsley to garnish
Sea salt to taste

Place vegetables in a medium saucepan, and add ginger and water. Bring to a boil.
Lower heat, and let simmer until vegetables are soft, about 15 minutes.
Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until creamy. While soup is still in the blender, add salt to taste. You can also add more ginger at this point.
Pour blended soup back in saucepan, reheat, and enjoy!

Five Minute Fixes!! -And giving the gift of homemade-

2012-01-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

While moving from my condo (a grown-up clubhouse, really) to the cave with Mr. Bacon, I began to notice a small hoarding problem. Specifically, fitness magazines.
Yoga Journal, Yoga at Home, Women's Health, In-Shape, Muscle and Fitness Hers... 4 years worth of subscriptions. Instead of throwing them away, I always keep them.. hoping that one day the promises on the cover will manifest in my life.

They're always pretty similar tho, yeah?
Great Glutes in 10 days!
Lose 1 dress size THIS WEEK!
5 quick fixes for figure flaws!
10 years younger in 10 steps!

I decided to go through and just pull these specific articles.. if I did ALL of them at once, at least ONE of them would work, right?

4 weeks.
I gained 6 pounds.

This was the beginning of a realization..
But I continued my research.

Get his attention! (and keep it) 5 steps to keep your man satisfied!
Find calm and balance in just 10 days!
Get out of debt! Your 15 step guide to financial freedom!!
Get a raise (and the respect you deserve!) Our get-rich-quick guide

Then I realized why none of them work.
I'm not expected to follow all 10 steps.
I'm not expected to stick with it for a whole week... So the first steps just need to make me feel miserable enough to think it's doing something. The middle step needs to be hard enough to make me quit. They never expected me to realize the last several steps do absolutely nothing.
Because if I had that kind of discipline, I wouldn't NEED to learn 5 steps to fatten my savings account. I would already have my account set up to automatically transfer a percentage of each paycheck into my savings account. (more accurately, I would have the discipline to LEAVE it there once it's transfered...)

And instead of getting out of debt, I'm going to spend $22 a month on magazines trying to sell me debt-reduction.
Send me $29.99 and I'll send YOU my book on how to get people to send you $29.99!!!!

But I AM expected to have an unquenchable desire to better myself.
And I do!
But there's a reason that even after you've bought a subscription, each magazine comes with an insert to subscribe. They're trying to plant seeds.. hoping that you take your magazine with you to the gym and it can drop those inserts and they will germinate in a land of insecurity. Another person will pick it up and see the 5 minute problem fixers and hope that it will be the answer to their prayers.
And when they see what a together, confident, successful person just dropped this insert... Well. Maybe if I subscribe as well, I can have great glutes like You!!

That's how they got me.

Now, I have a 3 step program to get great arms, de-clutter my life, and reduce anxiety and self-judgement!!

Step 1: Lift 4 years of magazine subscriptions.
Step 2: Carry them to the recycle bin.
Step 3: Stop listening to glossy pages. I'm pretty fantastic..

I feel 2 dress sizes smaller already =)

How Scrooge got her Groove back..

My friend LaLa and I use to do our Christmas shopping together. This year.. we didn't. We were both financially strapped. Stressed. Time strained... We use to hang out 4 days a week. This year, maybe once or twice a month. I started really feeling the loss of this friendship this winter as I realized we didn't have any pictures together this year.
And as Christmas approached and I headed to the dreadful mall solo, her absence was palpable. I HATE shopping. But LaLa makes it tolerable..
I re-wrote my list while sitting in Panera. I wrote everyone up for matching dirty looks and a touch of disdain.
I had lost my Christmas spirit. GONE! And worse.. I had lost my self. I'm a positive person.. or WAS anyway.
Then one day, she messaged me to ask which movie she should go to. There was a visually stunning animated film coming out.. and then there was the Lars Von Trier being released one week later.
We made a date to meet some friends for the latter.
We didn't sit by each other. We didn't really talk..
Except when she complained about the new band I had just found and was excited about..
But it was a silly night like a million silly nights..

The next day, I found her the perfect tshirt. It's one of her favorite bands with an outline of a shark jaw.. You'd have to know her to realize this IS the perfect shirt...

And when we exchanged gifts, she gave me a jar of home-made roasted veggie marinara. She wanted to give something thoughtful, not consumerist. She's posting the recipe here this weekend, so check back!! So delicious!!!! It's vegan, so you can serve it to ANYONE.. it's delicious on EVERYTHING. Literally. I put it on more roasted veggies. Meat. Parmesan crisps. EVERYTHING!

5 minute fix to a bad mood? Call your friend. Watch a stupid movie and make some delicious food.
You'll be you again in no time =)

New Year's Revolution!! Bacon Ice cream and Meatballas (not at the same time!)

2012-01-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!

Happy... Arbitrary time to decide to start over.
We have New everything.. all the time.
Our diets will always start on Monday.. even though it's been proven that diets started on Mondays are least effective. Followed closely by diets started for the new year.
We always start going to the gym on Mondays or right after January 1st. At the gym I managed, we called them 'New Year's Resolutioners'.
We figured them into the budget through February. After that, only 30% of them still come.
Mondays were always really busy.. all day. By Thursday, we cut 2 people from staff.
Yet every Monday, you try again. Every Monday you start out with a good breakfast and pack your gym bag in your car on the way to work. You aren't ready to give up.. and you shouldn't.

And today just seems like a day to wipe the slate clean. You're hoping that 2012 will be the year IT will happen.. and it probably can! If only you can get that fresh start...

And what is that fresh start?

Is it health? You just want to be able to say that 2012 is the year you didn't smoke.. and you needed this fresh start to say 'December 31, 2011 was my last cigarette!'
'I worked out 3 times a week, every week of this year.'

Is it more goal oriented? This will be the year you practice your Spanish Every Day.. You will take piano lessons. You will floss.
Really what we're trying to accomplish is: This is the year I forgive myself. I forgive myself for not sticking with a goal. I forgive myself for not being everything I know I can be.
It's not the fear of other people's judgement that keeps us from trying harder. It's the fear of our disappointment in ourself.
So if you want a clean slate, allow yourself to have it this time.
You're the only one who has stopped yourself from being the person you know you REALLY are.

This has to start with being honest with yourself about what you can truly accomplish.

How long have you been short selling yourself? Making small goals so you KNOW you can accomplish them? Writing 'brush teeth' on your daily checklist, just so you can check something off by the end of the day?
I know you. I do.. And you're selling yourself short.
Please let this be the year you forgive yourself.
Please let this be the year you reach so much further than you were brave enough to try for before.
I'm so excited for your New Year! I'm so excited to see what this world looks like next Christmas because you finally allowed yourself to be your incredible self!

*climbs down off soap box*

So.. uhm. Oh ya!! You guys want a recipe??

Sorry to those of you who asked for the Maple Bacon ice cream info on Friday.. My incredible family had it's Christmas party yesterday and I got quite enveloped =)
I love them... quite an awful lot =) =) =)

The ice cream starts with an Ice cream machine... but I bet you could get it done with a medium metal bowl, a large metal bowl, rock salt, and ice!! (and a whole lotta elbow grease...)
Aside from that, easy peasy!!

32 oz Coconut milk
2/3 cup pure maple syrup (ours comes in a jug that says Orange Juice.. his fam tapped it for us!)
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 strips of cooked bacon

Once the ice cream had solidified, The Caveman simply crumbled the cooked bacon into the ice cream churn and let it go another minute or two until it was mixed =)

Meat Balla... A New Christmas Tradition!

The Caveman and I had a pretty low key Christmas Eve. We rented some silly movies off Netflix and lounged around in jammy pants all day. Pretty great, really =)
But I wanted something special-ish for dinner.. so we decided on a meat ball tour of the world! Haha.. Somehow, the things we do sound even sillier when I'm typing them...
All American Bacon Cheese Balla

Ground beef
bacon, chopped finely
onion
cheese (I believe we used cheddar...)
salt and pepper to taste

Mix your raw chopped bacon and finely minced onion into your seasoned raw beef. Form into balls and bake at 375 for 20-30 minutes until cooked through. Melt cheese in a fondue pot, double boiler, or your trusty rusty microwave and dip =) Serve with pickles and Ketsup for your all American bacon cheese MeatBalla!

Ciao Italia

Ground beef
Minced onion
Mozzarella
Parmesan
basil
garlic
salt and pepper

Season your beef and work shredded mozz into your mixture. Ball it up and bake like above.. Top with grated Parm and serve with your favorite Marinara!

Grecian Delight

Ground beef (or lamb, if you're shmancy.. which we weren't that night)
green peppers
onion
crumbled feta
rosemary
garlic

You're catching on =)
Serve on a big bed of Romaine with cucumber and tomato or dip in Tzaziki =) =)

Cheers to 2012 my friends =)
Cheers to your clean slate <3

The Happiness Ninja

The Divine in me. How I found my spirit name. (Spoiler Alert.. it's Sara)

Top 10 things I learned about pregnancy.. from an ametuer incubator

Seafood Dinner =) Nom!

Butternut Squash Soup *A WHOLE family friendly recipe for Thanksgiving*

It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel fine

PaleOmaha.. A safe place to lay your fork. Part Uno.

Giving up. The Very long beginning of a VERY long love story

Quick check back..

Cauliflower Crust Pizza.. Cuz I'm sorry and I love you!

Love.. of the heirloom variety

Follow your Amygdala..

You're not the boss of me, Baby! And pancakes =)

A note on Mothers and flourless microwave minute cake

My tiny project that has kept me away... And a cavegirl goes colonial. (Butter)

Simply Decadent; The art of being happy =) And yet another pizza my heart (part 2 of 3)

AbraBaconPalooza!!! A celebration of Life, Love, And Bacon. Which is also love...

A credit to my kind. Defining self and defying lowered expection. Oh.. and bacon =)

The Multi-Purpose Blog; The Reasons my Friends are Better Than Your Friends; Mindful Eating or Dieting?; And, A Recipe For Disaster.

A birthday wish, A thank you card, and Veggie Chips (a recipe for awesomeness)

Take another little Pizza my heart now, baby..

Adventure or Bust.. A sunny winter Omaha tour and Our Dinner with Al Capone

Grabbing life by the bawls.. How I learned to cry it out, live up to my name, and get it together in time to put a roast in the oven....

Carrot Ginger soup

Five Minute Fixes!! -And giving the gift of homemade-

New Year's Revolution!! Bacon Ice cream and Meatballas (not at the same time!)

Butternut Squash Soup A WHOLE family friendly recipe for Thanksgiving