Put It to Bed

Unplanned Spring Break

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 23:43:00 +0000

or unplanned spring breakdown.

It has become clear to me, after post production ground to a halt last week, that I am suffering an acute case of work exhaustion. Since everyone else in my household has had or will be having a spring break, I have decided to follow suit. Instead of feeling guilty about not blogging, I am giving myself the week off.

Back next Monday.

Done for the Week: First Things Last?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 03:07:00 +0000

I'm continuing to fight the good fight--with myself. And I'm continuing to lose. I just can't get it all done. I can't even remember what it all is.

Despite having read about a zillion books and articles on slowing down, and simplifying, and living at the speed of life, I find myself busier and busier. New assignments creep in under the door while I'm not looking. New wrinkles, in time, on my face, and in the form of complications present themselves at every turn.

Things continue to get done, somehow. Not necessarily the most important things, but . . .

Done for the Week: Mar. 19-24, 2012

Biked twice
Worked with physical therapist once to restore injured foot
Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
Read A Mind to Murder, by P.D. James
Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
Continued to work my two part-time jobs
Published 3 Put it to Bed blog posts

Attended an Altitude Design Summit web class
Continued work on current clients' projects
Contracted with new client
Prepared bid for prospective client
Attended one yoga class
Did laundry
Continued college conversations with youngest son
Meditated 2 times
Met with Communications Team co-chair
Co-chaired Communications Team meeting
Spent hours mocking up potential newsletter
Helped take my baby granddaughter swimming for the first time
Had lunch date with my husband
Took my dog to the dog park
Spent time digging out the kitchen
Made arrangements to convert stock to IRA
Made changes to the nonprofit website I volunteer manage
Attended church service on e. e. cummings

The most important thing I did last week was. . . Actually, I have no idea what the most important thing on this long and somewhat exhausting list was.

Sometimes, I can answer this self-imposed question rather easily. Something jumps out. Today, I'm too tired to judge. And to busy to take the time. Not good signs.

Last week, I continued to try to focus on meditating and writing daily--or at least regularly.

But, to my chagrin, "it's still not working." I'm beginning to think I don't know much about focusing. Maybe I'm missing the gene for this important human capability.

If I'm honest, I have to admit that I never really give up trying to do all the other things on my literal and mental lists, so focus goals don't enjoy real primacy.

For next week, I'm going to experiment with not setting a focus goal. I wonder if it will make any difference to how I allot my time and energy, and to the results.

Hot and Bothered

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 01:39:00 +0000

Yesterday was the first day of spring. Where I live, the temperature was a record-breaking 83 degrees F. And today, the record set yesterday was broken when temperatures reached 84. This comes at the tail of a record-setting string of March days above 70 degrees.

While the unseasonably warm weather has been mostly enjoyable, it is also worrisome. And I gather, from what I've been reading in the brain science literature, that I am unlikely to be the only one who is "going there" in these unusual circumstances--our brains being wired, as they are, to respond anxiously and to look for the dark side.

So what am I worried about?

Well, of course, there's the whole global warming thing. As I shed my accustomed layers, I can't help but think of Al Gore's friend, the boiling frog. Having taking my share of science classes, I get that we shouldn't freak out about a strong trend that may prove to be insignificant in the long run. But still . . .

And then there is my immediate concern with the flora in my region, my neighborhood, and my yard. On NPR's All Things Considered last week, in a segment entitled "What's the Impact of Early Blooms?," Melissa Block interviewed Jake Weltzin, an ecologist and the executive director of the USA National Phenology Network. Phenology, Block informed her listeners, is the the study of the effect of climate on the life cycles of plants and animals. Phenologist Weltzin told us that

We are seeing strong trends almost wherever we look. In the last decade, we're actually now starting to be able to say OK, well, we see patterns of plants and animals coming earlier. And we have better and better climatological records, temperature records, and we can start to link those together. And there's a paper coming out it seems every week now that's saying OK, here's a trend in bees coming out 10 days earlier over the last 130 years, and we can attribute that to warming temperatures.

When Ms. Block asked "If a plant or tree does bloom or leaf out early, does that affect its seasonal cycle for the rest of the year?," Dr. Weltzin answered, it seems to me ominously, that

We don't really know for a lot of plants. And we're just starting to get that information organized. Some plants do, indeed, have a deterministic life cycle, which means that if they come up early they will shut down early. Others are indeterministic and they'll grow and grow and grow all season long.

He was clearer about bugs, asserting that early bug growth is correlated with early plant growth, and that scientists are concerned about more problems from "bad bugs" this summer--like the mosquitoes who carry West Nile virus, for example.

On Monday, I opened the local paper to learn that "Wisconsin maple producers endure worst year in memory," answering Friday's question from a Yahoo contributor "Will an Early Spring Ruin Your Pancakes? Yes, apparently.

On top of global warming, plants and bugs running amok, and the end of breakfast as we knew it, there is my fear of a blisteringly hot summer. Again, I am not alone, as readers and callers, columnists and bloggers and weather analysts have expressed this apprehension. And again, "scientific" study yields little in the way of clarity or prediction. All seem agreed. This summer may be hotter than usual. And it may not be.

So to review. We are probably experiencing global warming, but we kind of knew that, right? The plants and trees are all screwed up, and we're in for a swarm of bugs, which were already in evidence in my grandchildren's backyard yesterday--several weeks ahead of schedule. And it may or may not be extra hot this summer.

All of this should probably not stop me from enjoying the blooming violets and primroses encountered on my walk today; or the reprieve from wearing the heavy winter coat I'm entirely sick of after six months; or the opportunity to sit in the grass with my summer clad grandkids this afternoon. Indeed, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, author of Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom advises us to soak up such positive sensations and experiences to counteract that negativity that is our brain's natural state.

So I guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with the balminess, the sunshine, and the gift of this crazy unseasonal season. And anyway, it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Procrastinating 101: Catching Up to the Can We Kicked

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:36:00 +0000

This week's Procrastinating 101 deals with Chapter 7 of Dr. Timothy Pychyl's book, The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle. Chapter 7 is entitled "Why Getting Started Isn't the Whole Solution."

At this over-halfway mark, Dr. Pychyl warns that "just getting started," as he advised in the previous chapter, engenders positive feelings. Wait. Warns? Positive feelings? All good, right?

Wrong. Because those positive feelings can come back to bite us, setting us up for another round with those "biases in planning and thinking" that we know so well. You might say (if you want to ring an over-used chime in this seemingly endless political season) we've "kicked the can down the road."

And so, says Pychyl,

we have to recognize other points at which we typically abandon our goal pursuit. We have to be prepared to address each of these as they arise, otherwise we will fall back into habitual ways of responding. . . . [because] [p]rocrastination is not just a failure to get started.

And specifically

We have to be prepared to deal with changes in our mood related to setbacks and disappointments. We have to be prepared to deal with distractions. We have to be prepared to overcome obstacles.

Pychyl puts forth two main strategies to deal with this "delayed onset procrastination." (As a runner who has suffered DOMS--delayed onset muscle soreness--I contributed this term.) Here again, predecisions and implementation intentions are key.

The first approach is to "predecide" to eliminate/limit distractions--proactively. The second is to formulate "if/then" implementation intentions to deal with distractions, obstacles and setbacks. Ala this chapter's mantra--"I need to be prepared to deal with distractions, obstacles and setbacks."

Pychyl provides the following table to help us identify the distractions, obstacles and setbacks we typically experience with respect to or main procrastinated task(s); and to formulate a strategy to head them off proactively, or to resist the urge to procrastinate when they occur.

Distraction, Obstacle or Setback	Remove Proactively?	Implementation Intention
Example: Email	Yes, shut it off before I work.
Example: Friends’ Invitations		IF my friends call to invite me out this weekend, THEN I will immediately say “thanks but no, I’m committed to finishing my work.”
Example: Stuck on my work and don’t know what to do		IF I get stuck, confused and worried because I don’t know what to do, THEN I will stay put and list what I do know to be sure what it is I don’t know. Once I know this, I can seek help if needed. I won’t give up.

Next week, willpower. In the meantime you're missing some great cartoons, and lots more detail if you don't read the book.

Done for the Week: Up the River

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:57:00 +0000

Another crazy busy week. And the coming one promises to be worse. Lots of stuff seems to be getting done; not much of it particularly well planned. Planning takes a bit more time and energy than seems to be available to me just now.

At any rate, here's the list.

Done for the Week: Mar. 12-18, 2012

Swam once with my workout partner; canoed once
Worked with physical therapist twice to restore injured foot
Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
Read The Black Cat, by Martha Grimes; Rise and Shine, by Anna Quindlen
Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
Continued to work my two part-time jobs
Published 4 Put it to Bed blog posts
Continued to participate more in the BlogHer community
Continued work on current clients' projects
Resumed work on previous client's large project
Attended two yoga classes
Did laundry
Continued college conversations with youngest son
Meditated 2 times
Straightened my work room
Attended Board meeting
Attended Issues Night meeting; joined new voter id task force
Traveled to Minneapolis with my husband and one son, to visit with my stepdaughter and her family
Met my newest step-grandson
Experienced a "wild ride" adventurous late evening canoe trip down the St. Croix River
Celebrated St. Patrick's Day Eve Happy Hour with my husband
Spent extra time babysitting my sick grandson
Took my dog to the dog park

The most important thing I did last week was traveling with my husband and son to visit my stepdaughter and her family, including their new baby.

I have often commented that my "blended" family is more like something out of a Cuisinart gone wrong. At this late date in my second--and last--marriage, I wish to provide all of us with as many pleasant experiences as possible. And although this one required sitting in a car for more than 16 hours, among other inconveniences, it was completely worth it. Wedging a seven-mile canoe trip, between river banks dotted with snow, against the wind and the dwindling light, sandwiched into a 2-1/2 hours round trip by car from their house, was totally over the top--and again, well worth it. A high point was rowing past an island whose trees were filled with blue heron nests, and watching the beautiful awkward birds take flight.

We also took the scenic route home from Minneapolis, driving along the banks of the Mississippi. The riverfront vistas of bluffs and locks and aspen filled our eyes and souls with unaccustomed wonder.

Back in the everyday world, last week's focus goal was "to continue the effort to meditate regularly and to write every day for the remainder of March."

As in previous weeks, I continue to have difficulty pulling this one off. According to all the magazine articles I peruse while on a stationary bike or at my physical therapist's office, all the books I'm slogging through, and all the blogs I consult, it should be a simple matter to effect these habit changes. All I have to do is implement the programs dictated by the "new science of the brain," and voila! I should be meditating and writing up a storm, as desired.

But as with my governor's job creation approach, "it's not working." However, I'm not being recalled--at least not yet--and so I have some time to get it right.

Next week: same focus goal, same resolve in the face of anticipated same uncooperative circumstances. I plan to tweak, and tweak some more.

A Blogging Handoff

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 02:27:00 +0000

Today got away from me. Too many appointments, meetings and work commitments. One too many naps in the sun. Not nearly enough meals.

So tonight, instead of cranking out some drivel to fill this space, I'm going to direct my Put it to Bed readers to this excellent post on the subject of procrastination, "Why Procrastination Is Good for You: 5 Ways to Make it Work", by Lisa Earl McLeod.

And here's why. Because:

It's way better than anything I'm going to write tonight. Trust me.
It takes a position pretty much the opposite of what the experts tell us to do about procrastination, which appeals to my inner Che.
I find myself knee-deep in great posts to read, and bowing out on this occasion will make more reading time available for an existing post that deserves attention. (If my seven regular readers all follow this bread crumb to the post in question.)
Of some other reasons I'm too tired to articulate adequately.

Thank you Lisa Earl McLeod, for providing this fortunate "out" for a played out blogger.

Dr. Mom, Nurse Nana, and Undoing My To-Do List

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 03:24:00 +0000

As a mother for thirty-four years, and a grandmother for four, you'd think I would have figured this out by now.

Kids get sick! And then the other kids get sick! And then I get sick!

I'm sick of this!

One of the most frequent interruptions to work I have tried to do, and a life I have tried to make, has been the illnesses of children. Acute and chronic. Slight and more serious. Physical and mental. And quite often, some combination of these, and affecting more than one child at a time. And always requiring some alteration of my routine, either minor or grand.

I accept that providing the care and nurturance needed to support these children who depend on me in their return to health and functioning is my responsibility. Not my responsibility alone, but one that has fallen mainly to me, if for no other reason than that I am capable of fulfilling it. Exceptionally capable.

At present, my household includes one minor (in his late teens), and one young adult, in addition to a spouse who is by nature helpless when it comes to dealing with his own incapacitations, let alone those of others. Additionally, I provide part-time childcare for my daughter's four-year-old and five-month-old. I am no longer chiefly responsible for any of these individuals. But their illnesses still throw a wrench in my works, as they have done this week--what with the extra trips for Pediacare, and for prescriptions and sick food; the extra hours spent sitting on the floor with a barfy preschooler; the worrying and advising as my asthmatic, acutely ill, and recently employed son learns to work while sick. The chicken soup.

But here's the thing. Not only is it inherently stressful to deal with sick people, and particularly small sick people. There's all that regression, the whining and screaming and demandingness. And there's the barfing, the uncovered sneezing, the shiny green snot on the upper lips. The hacking cough that hurts to hear. And the loss of sleep, the twenty-four-sevenness of the whole thing. But added to all this are the demands of work that are incompatible with this job of home nursing. Demands that don't go away, just because we are not in a position to respond to them.

In our society, we don't arrange our work lives to accommodate illness, though it is pretty much a given that it will occur. And it is generally women who pay the price of this lack of "intelligent design." For some of us who are employed outside the home, it is an issue of paid, or unpaid sick leave. Some workers cannot take time off, period, to deal with illness. Others must sacrifice income to do so.

In my community, we recently passed a paid sick leave ordinance, which was subsequently stopped by an injunction; then the injunction was overturned on appeal; then the governor signed into law a bill blocking the ordinance. The ordinance would have required that employers allow workers to earn paid sick leave, which could be used for their own or family members' illnesses. It would have been a major benefit to low income women and their children. Other communities have passed measures mandating paid sick leave, and still others have attempted to do so. The National Partnership for Women and Families is working to establish support for national legislation providing for paid sick leave.

It will never be fun or easy to take care of sick children. Or to be sick ourselves. But we shouldn't be punished for stepping up to the task.

In addition to the paid sick leave issue, there is the societal more that work must come first. No excuses. This expectation is increasingly problematic as work creeps into our homes, and beyond its workday boundaries, with email, texts and smartphones expanding our accessibility. It is difficult to contend with the feelings of guilt and resentment engendered by these requirements while simultaneously carrying barf buckets, washing extra laundry, administering medicines, visiting doctors, taking temperatures, and providing TLC.

In this environment, it is a radical act--one that I am trying to educate myself to perform--to let oneself off the hook. So this week, I intend to let go the work that interferes with what I need to do for the sick people in my family. And I will not push said work into the time I need for rest, so that I don't get sick. 'Cuz God knows, no one has time to take care of me!

Procrastinating 101: Just Start, to Finish

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 02:02:00 +0000

Okay. It's Tuesday. I don't know about you, but I'm still a procrastinator, in some form or another. So it's time, once again, for Procrastinating 101--our (mostly) weekly survey class-type discussion of the findings and writings of experts in the field.

At present, we are making our way through Dr. Timothy Pychyl's blessedly boiled-down treatment, The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle. We are up to Chapter 6: "The Power of Getting Started."

And the mantra for this chapter? "Just get started."

So, let's begin.

Pychyl tells us that "getting started changes our perceptions of a task," according to research he has conducted. Specifically, once we have gotten our feet wet with respect to a dreaded task, we see that task as significantly less unpleasant, onerous, daunting, etc. And we feel differently about ourselves, too, once we get started--"more in control and more optimistic." So if we

'prime the pump' by making some progress on our goals, the resulting increase in our subjective well-being enhances further action and progress.

(And now that I am a few paragraphs into writing this post that I couldn't get to earlier today--thanks to a barfing grandson, a moody spouse, and the usual unanticipated work obligations and other interruptions--I feel more positive than when I began. The post seems more "writeable" and I feel more capable of finishing it. Dr. Pychyl and his academic crew seem to have gotten this one right.)

At this point, Dr. Pychyl returns to his advice, set out more generally earlier in the book, that we use the device of an implementation intention as a cornerstone of our strategy for change. This time around, he provides a bit more detail:

As defined in the well-developed psychology of action created by Peter Gollwitzer (University of New York) [mentioned in an earlier post drawing on the book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, by Chip Heath and Dan Heath], an implementation intention supports a goal intention by setting out in advance when, where and how we will achieve this goal (or at least a sub-goal within the larger goal or task).

An implementation intention that aims to interrupt our procrastinating behavior pattern could look like this:

IF I say to myself things like, "I'll feel more like doing this later" or "I don't feel like doing this now," THEN I will just get started on some aspect of the task.

Pychyl cautions us against going all Nike--"Just do it!"--lest we get overwhelmed. We are "pre-deciding" only to start, after which "the 'doing it' will take care of itself."

I was particularly taken with Dr. Pychyl's reference to meditation as an example of something that takes continual "re-starting," as we return our wandering attention to the breath. He uses this as an analogy for the process of starting on a task, not just once, but again and again throughout the day.

He goes on to provide research-based advice that we need to think concretely about a project, and to begin with a small, tangible action. For example, we might begin a writing task by typing a title, or assembling references. I might begin a blog by finding an image, or choosing labels.

Tucked ever-so-subtly under this positive section describing writing, sculpting, farming, and carpentry as beginning with "roughing" in, is this bit of "tough love" from the man whose students have dubbed him "Dr. Procrastination:"

Honestly, if you are not ready to make this first step, to just get started, on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis, then put this book down now. You are not committed to change yet, and nothing else I have to say will matter in your self-change. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to discourage you. I am just being honest.

If we are still hanging in after that "talking-to," Dr. Pychyl directs us to begin concretizing a project on which we have been procrastinating, using the following table:

*Goal or Task*
Priority or Order of Completion	List of Sub-tasks

And now that I've reached the end of this post, please excuse me while I proceed to fill in the cells with every trivial thing I can think of which might move me closer to the completion of my novel. Of course, sharpening pencils is not only the most tired of cliches, but also anachronistic. But what about cutting out pictures for a story board? Or replacing the lamp in my work room? Or . . . .

Done for the Week: Focus Pocus

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 02:05:00 +0000

If Samson's voluminous hair was the source of his fabled strength, my formerly reliable left foot may have been mine.

It has been months now that I've been struggling with pain and diminished mobility at the aggravated site of a five-year-old injury. For much of that time, I have been ordered by various health care professionals to "rest" the offending appendage. While I can bike and swim, and most recently use the elliptical trainer, I am still enjoined from running. Which makes this newbie triathlete more of a bi-and-a-half-lete. And not a very happy one.

The enforced suspension has kind of muted my overall motivation to train, and dented the athletic identity that kept me moving. I am getting lazier and lazier about working out. And that laziness threatens to expand into a general miasma.

I did get some things done last week, but I had to lash myself from time to time to do so.

Done for the Week: Mar. 5-11, 2012

Biked once; swam once with my workout partner
Worked with physical therapist twice to restore injured foot
Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
Read Plain Truth, by Jodi Picoult
Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
Continued to work my two part-time jobs
Published 5 Put it to Bed blog posts
Continued to participate more in the BlogHer community
Continued work on current clients' projects
Resumed work on previous client's large project
Attended two yoga classes
Went out to dinner with my two sons
Did laundry
Continued college conversations with youngest son
Signed youngest son up for ACT testing
Meditated 3 times
In addition, attended day long Buddhist meditation retreat, involving approximately 200 minutes of sitting and 60 minutes of walking meditation
Straightened my work room
Attended Social Justice committee meeting
Met with Communications team
Attended church service
Signed up for Journey to Membership classes at new church
Watched an episode of Trigun with my son
Survived transition to Daylight Savings Time

Continuing physical therapy on my injured foot was the most important thing I did last week. I am coming to understand the importance of working through this injury, and the drain it has placed on my energy and exertion in all areas of my life. So keeping the therapy appointments, and doing my "homework" in between is crucial. In addition, I will need to keep fighting the urge to sit down and stay seated. And that will mean forcing myself to get to the gym more often.

Last week's focus goal was "to concentrate on writing and meditating, continuing the approaches that have been working recently." I would say that I succeeded in holding the line--more or less, and by hook and by crook. A very intense day-long meditation retreat stood in for some of the shorter daily sessions I didn't manage to squeeze in during the week. And though I fell short of my goal to write something each day, I did publish five original blog posts, begin work on a new poem, and complete a journal entry that led to a blog post.

I have finally learned, it seems, that I need to stay with a focus goal for at least a month in order for it to "take." So I have decided to continue the effort to meditate regularly and to write every day for the remainder of March.

I guess it says something about me, and about my ongoing organizational challenges, that I would attempt to implement a "focus" approach that has more in common with a firefly than a laser beam. . .

Taking Out Each Other's Trash

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 04:08:00 +0000

Gretchen Rubin's latest happiness tweak is throwing away someone else's trash.

I get the whole thing about doing something small for someone else. And not just to "boost your self-esteem." The application with which I am most familiar is related to stress reduction. It is said, and I have experienced, that the act of slowing yourself down by letting someone go ahead of you in traffic, or in the checkout line--especially when you are feeling rushed and short on time--creates the perception of more time. It works. It really does.

Not incidental is the positive feedback that generally attends such public generosity--although occasionally the response is more like "What are you? Nuts?" And you can end up feeling a little sheepish.

But the kind of trash that troubles me most in my own environment, I think of as "life trash." In this category are undone tasks, unfinished projects, and unfulfilled dreams. It strikes me as a particularly appealing kindness--one I'd love to be on the receiving end of--to help another dispose of detritus of this sort.

As a mom for more than half my life now, I am in a great position to help out in this way. Living with two young adult men, I find myself frequently hip-deep in refuse, life- and plain old. But as a mom, I have learned--not without pain and stumbling, on my part and theirs--that it isn't always a purely good thing to rush into the breach without summons.

Yet another opportunity to practice that all-purpose virtue--BALANCE.

But it does feel really good to magnanimously offer to move a load of wash to the dryer for one of my roomies. Or to put gas in the car when they're running late. Or to post a letter they forgot to send. And helping them to experience life as a bit more doable helps me to believe that I can manage, too. But it's not so much fun if they begin to rely on my rescue. And if they ask, it had better be done nicely. I don't do demands from this crew.

And just for the record, if someone offers to do the dishes I haven't gotten to, I'm taking it.

Written in My Sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 05:13:00 +0000

So maybe health and well-being are overrated?

The latest wrinkle in the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) vein is Joseph Bates' book, The Nighttime Novelist: Finish Your Novel in Your Spare Time. What spare time, you may well ask? As I am asking.

As you might have guessed from the title--really, it's not hard, since the word "nighttime" is right there after "the"--Mr. Bates, in fact, has in mind that same part of the day that Gretchen Rubin [The Happiness Project] tells us we should spend comatose, if we want to be happy; that Dr. Andrew Weil advises we pass unconscious in order to be healthier and more energetic; that doctors at the Mayo Clinic recommend we devote to dreaming in order to improve blood pressure.

But Bates is more concerned with our artistic output. He holds up as exemplars those "famous authors who held day jobs and then did their best work by night." He intended to begin his book by mentioning

Franz Kafka, who spent his days at a cramped desk at Workers Accident Insurance Institute of Prague and his nights hunched over his writing desk at home, making stories and novels so fantastic and strange it would be necessary to coin a term, Kafkaesque, to describe them[;]

and to go on to name

William Carlos Williams (practicing physician) or Joseph Heller (advertising) or Toni Morrison (publishing). . . . [and to] bring up stories, by now well known, of authors currently making more-than-comfortable livings who began by stealing time to write: Stephen King, for example, who taught high school English, or John Grisham, who worked as an attorney, or J. K. Rowling, who, as the story goes, was actually fired from her job and was on welfare when she began writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. For a bit of comic relief, I'd bring up William Faulkner's stint as a postmaster ... comic because I find it difficult to believe any mail was actually delivered.

But, he says, his list grew too long to consider these individuals anamolous.

The truth is, there are only a handful of writers working who make their living solely by their fiction. Most are people who put in long days, have families to care for or responsibilities to meet, work hard to make the bills, could probably use a rest, and who nevertheless feel compelled, after all is said and done, to sit by themselves and write stories. These Nighttime Novelists publish the majority of books on the shelves.

To be fair, Bates concedes that this "spare time" can also be found by getting up early, and by writing on weekends. But in either case, it's still coming out of the rest we are constantly being reminded is essential to our general welfare.

Another writer who prescribes midnight oil burning is Jonathan Manor, guest blogger on Jeff Goins Writer. (Goins introduces Manor as "obnoxious, insecure, and above all else, awesome." Maybe he'd have a better personality if he got a little more sleep?)

Manor's guest post is entitled "Why You Should Be Writing at Night." In it, he tells us that

Good writers write at night, because it’s devoid of distraction, there’s nothing else left to do in the day, there’s no one else to hurry to. It’s simply just you being yourself and pouring out the emotions that you’ve gathered from your day time experience and using that creativity to create something beautiful and interesting.

I, personally, designate a time to write “good” pages between the hours of 10:30pm to 3:00am.

Manor doesn't advise destroying one's health.

Getting to bed by 3:00am gives me the opportunity for a healthy night’s sleep where I could wake up at 10am and get to work by noon. Sleep is important, never skip out on sleep, meals, and play time.

He personally has a minimum wage part-time job in an interior decoration store, which accommodates his nocturnal creativity.

It does seem sometimes like the only way I’m going to get more writing done is to take the time from sleep, as these gentlemen suggest. But since lack of sleep can lead to depression, exaccerbate my high blood pressure, or trigger anxiety, that's a problematic solution. And my day jobs involve meeting with clients at their convenience, learning and utilizing complex new technology, and caring for small children and putting up with big ones. I need my wits about me, and my work schedule is unpredictable and not especially flexible.

I suppose it doesn’t make sense for me to keep trying to cram more stuff into my days. But if something’s got to give, maybe it shouldn’t be sleep.

For tonight, I'm already up past my bedtime. My husband is next to me asleep. I need to be done with this post. I will pay for this in the morning as I struggle to make an early meeting.

Time now for my "medicinal" glass of wine, and the couple of pages of Proust I can finish before I conk out.

Proust, "most of [whose] writing was done in bed, at night, in a cork lined room, surrounded by the apparatus of the invalid." Maybe he could have used more sleep? And a bit more paragraphing.

What the World Needs Now is . . . Yet Another Blog Post?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 05:00:00 +0000

If you're a writer, maybe you are familiar with the dreaded bookstore malaise. You know how sometimes, in mid-browse, you are suddenly overtaken with the strong sense that the world doesn't really need another book, especially not yours? All those shiny jackets, fawning blurbs, and beautiful words seem so sufficient. And really, you're not exactly Jane Austen, or the next MacArthur genius, are you?

I have recently stepped up my readership in the blogosphere. Perhaps a mistake.

Today, I have that sucked-out, flattened, so-so-many-books feeling about my blog posts. With all these ideas, and stories, and images and sentences swirling around in hyperspace, what difference can it possibly make if I manage to crank out another post? I feel redundant. Cliche. Superfluous.

I suppose it's temporary.

I've always managed to recover from the bookstore thing. And gone on to scribble, fairly relentlessly, if not yet to a satisfactory conclusion.

When my children have denigrated their talents, I have attempted to buttress their spirits with the example of a profusion of flowers. Or of snowflakes. No two alike. Each one having its part to play, its contribution to make in the bouquet, or the blizzard.

Tonight, my small effort is this self-questioning post. This reaction to the multitude of online commentary in which I've been immersed. This dark night of the blogger's soul.

Procrastinating 101: Thinking Like a Human

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 00:12:00 +0000

Chapter 5 in Dr. Timothy Pychyl's book The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle--entitled "Excuses & Self-Deception: How our Thinking Contributes to our Procrastination"--is the basis of today's Procrastinating 101. And his mantra for this chapter? "I need to be aware of my rationalizations."

According to Dr. Pychyl, screwy thinking that supports the procrastination habit includes the human tendencies to:

discount future rewards in relation to short-term rewards

underestimate the time things will take and overestimate how much we can do [leads to poor planning]

prefer tomorrow over today [eventually leads, via something psychologists call intransitive preference, to the point right before a deadline where not only is tomorrow no longer preferable to today as a starting date, but in fact a previous date--no longer available--is preferred to today]

self-handicap to protect self-esteem [like starting so late that you can't be expected to do really well on a project]

think irrationally about the task at hand and our ability to accomplish the task [like insist on perfection, for example], and

manufacture our own happiness by changing our thinking to be consistent with our behavior [i.e., contending with cognitive dissonance, which creates its own problems].

In order to cope with cognitive dissonance, procrastinators may employ

distraction

forgetting

trivialization

self-affirmation

denial of responsibility

adding consonant cognitions

making downward-counterfactuals ("It could've been worse!"), and

[actually] changing behavior.

Changing behavior would involve acting, instead of procrastinating--something that is difficult to do, and therefore not so likely. The other coping strategies on this list, while they may result in better feelings in the present, can be maladaptive. A better approach is what Pychyl calls "planful-problem-solving".

Dr. Pychyl also reminds us, as we have learned from others in our Procrastinating 101 series, that, despite what many of us believe, in most cases we don't "work best under pressure." (He includes in this chapter a pretty frightening cartoon, in which one of our last-minute brethren finally gets around to thinking about packing his parachute on the way down! Maybe that will scare some of us straight--or early.)

Pychyl's main piece of advice in this chapter is that we identify those irrational thoughts that lead us to procrastinate; and having done that, that we form an implementation intention, which he described in his Chapter 3. In this way, the irrational thought becomes the cue (e.g., "If I catch myself thinking/saying 'I work best under pressure,') to implement the desired change in our thinking ("then I remind myself that this is self-deception, and just get started on the task").

He leaves us with the assignment to list our typical excuses for procrastinating, something he says may take some time. These lies we tell ourselves, when we hear them asserting themselves again, can then be used to trigger the new response--just get started.

Next week, we will learn from Dr. Pychyl why this approach works. I don't know about you, but from where I sit, it sounds too easy to be true. But just in case, I plan to show up next week with rationalizations and excuses in hand, willing to take the plunge. But not without packing my chute. Not even this inveterate relier on that most motivating of hours--the 11th--would leave that to the last minute.

Done for the Week: Leaps and Bounds, and a Bit of Limping

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 02:07:00 +0000

February was full of celebrations, this year even more than usual. And as I am working with my physical therapist to repair my "gait mechanics," I am challenged as well to negotiate the choppy rhythms of my days with strength and grace.

March should present a more even surface.

In this last week of February, in between snowfalls and tantalizingly warm days, stress and happy moments, I managed to get the following done:

Done for the Week: Feb. 27-Mar. 4, 2012

Biked once; used elliptical trainer once; swam once with my workout partner
Continued physical therapy for foot injury
Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
Read The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, by Aimee Bender
Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
Continued to work my two part-time jobs
Finished participating in BlogHer's NaBloPoMo for February
Published 5 Put it to Bed blog posts
Published 2 ReVersing Course posts
Invented NaJusWriMo, to keep myself motivated to write; and signed on for March
Began to participate more in the BlogHer community
Continued work on current clients' projects
Attended two yoga classes
Had dinner with friends; baked and brought a (not particularly sad) lemon cake
Did laundry
Continued college conversations with youngest son
Meditated 6 times
Straightened my work room
Took my dog to the dog park
Made and communicated the decision to leave my current church, coincidentally on Leap Day
Celebrated our Leap Day anniversary with a small late-night Champagne party for two on the actual day
Made arrangements to explore joining new church
Attended new church with my husband and a friend
Saw Art Museum's Accidental Genius exhibit of self-taught artists with my husband
Celebrated our Leap Day anniversary two days late at the County Clare Inn
Watched an episode of Eureka with my son
Watched Devil in a Blue Dress with my husband

Successfully finishing the February challenge of BlogHer's NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), and establishing my own NaJusWriMo (National Just Write Month) in order to continue the writing momentum inspired by NaBloPoMo, constituted last week's most significant achievement. I am looking forward to continuing to take my writing more seriously, and to making more regular time for it. I am beginning to believe that writing constitutes, at this time in my life, the deep yes I wrote about searching for some weeks ago.

Last week's focus goal was "to strategize; to figure out how to apply what I know and am learning to the problem of wanting and needing to meditate, but not making time for it."

For whatever reason, I ended up skipping past the strategy part, and going straight to the meditating. However, some semi-conscious tactical work appears to have taken place. The key elements of last week's almost daily meditating, after weeks of wishful thinking about meditating, appear to have been these:

I identified a time of day that had worked for me in the past, slotting in my practice as close as possible to that time.
I forced myself to meditate before lunch, which in turn preceded leaving for my afternoon job three days a week. In this way, lunch served as a buffer that promoted the feeling of having enough time to meditate, and as a reward for having done so.
I lowered the bar in three ways, so that meditation didn't seem so daunting as it had become: a. I shortened the time from 20 minutes to 10; b. I relied on relaxation videos of nature scenes and sounds as a way of easing into a time of quiet; and c. I skipped the cushion that had become a nemesis, and did my sitting on the couch in my workroom. I view these measures as a form of training wheels to facilitate my return to this "bike" I had become so accustomed to before. My intention is to continue using them until the habit is stronger, and then to remove them one at a time until I am once again sitting unsupported.

I observe that I am feeling somewhat calmer--though perhaps only because I am not spending as much time flogging myself about not meditating?

For the coming week, I am focusing on writing and meditating, continuing the approaches that have been working recently.

What comes to mind is Michelangelo's purported description of how he created his sculpture of David: "It's simple. I begin with a piece of marble and remove everything that isn't David." I feel like I am engaged in the attempt to unearth myself from all the busyness and clutter that keep me from being who I want to be.

To Curb Procrastination, Close Some Windows

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:12:00 +0000

In reading Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, I discovered (not rediscovered, because they were new to me) several gems--concepts that help me think about my struggles with productivity, creativity, activity, proclivity, and all those other troublesome "ivities." One that comes to mind this morning is the Zeigarnik effect.

Not so long ago (in the mid 1920s), in a galaxy not so far away (Vienna, to be exact,) Bluma Zeigarnik, a Russian psychologist, was lunching with some other psychologists. She was struck by their waiter's ability to remember a complex set of orders without writing them down. But afterwards, one of the party returned to the restaurant in search of a misplaced item. The waiter had no memory of having waited on this individual a short time ago, or indeed, of having ever seen the person before. Which got Zeigarnik to thinking. And when psychologists start thinking, researching is seldom far behind.

What Zeigarnik learned, in a series of studies, was that those tasks we leave unfinished tend to remain in our short-term memory.

Jeremy Dean, at PsyBlog, joins Baumeister and Tierney in fleshing out what this has to do with procrastination. (And he has a wonderful vintage picture of Ms. Zeigarnik, looking soulful and inquisitive.) He uses the model of the "cliffhanger," so frustratingly familiar to TV series viewers, to illustrate the power of the unfinished.

The lesson for procrastinators, asserted by Baumeister and Tierney, and by Dean, is that we continue to be distracted, to hold in consciousness, those tasks that we have left "hanging." This distractedness gets in the way of our ability to focus on the task at hand, leading us to go "off-task" at least mentally, dividing our attention and diminishing our productivity. The solution, say Baumeister and Tierney, is to figure out how to park those tasks that are in process, such that they don't keep "popping up." They advise us to make a specific plan, detailing when and how such projects will be taken up again, including precise next steps. They maintain that this strategy will reduce stress, improve focus, and lead to a higher rate of task completion.

The image that comes to my mind is not the TV cliffhanger, but my cluttered computer desktop. My son remonstrates with me regularly about the number of windows and applications I have open at any given time. This ADHD-style computer usage causes my processor to overheat, and to slow down to a primordial pace. The solution? Close some windows. Close a lot of windows. I literally can't complete what I'm working on with gillions of applications running in the background, and scores of tabs open.

My brain, it seems, is experiencing the same difficulty. The solution? Close some windows. Close a lot of windows. Calendar them, bookmark them, list them, delegate them, organize them. . . . And close them.

BlahBlahWhatNow?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:57:00 +0000

I have decided to create my own event, "borrowing" liberally from the now infamous NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) phenomenon, and the derivative project which goes by the equally inscrutable, and slightly salacious sounding name of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month).

I recently participated in BlogHer's version of NaBloPoMo for the month of February. As I mentioned in a previous post, I observed that some bloggers sign on for another month of NaBloPoMo at the conclusion of a month of blog posting. I had been deliberating about whether or not I should do the same

in order to "set" my new work energy and orientation, or . . . move to re-focusing these assets on other writing projects.

And then it came to me. I could invent my own month of what procrastination experts term "pre-commitment." Since blog posts are not all I want to write, and nor are novels (not even the one I am halfway through), I need a more expansive variant. I'm calling it NaJusWriMo (National Just Write Month).

Of course, it will need its own "badge," for those who want to commit online and display that pledge.

Ta-da!

And, of course, some rules, which follow:

1. Establish a list of what you yourself regard as "legitimate" writing products--i.e., output that makes you feel like a writer. This is individual. For some, it might be a letter to your mom, a grocery list, your memoirs. For others, it could be a blog post, your very own War and Peace, a Pulitzer-worthy poem or play or piece of reporting. Some of us might feel particularly writerly penning a song, an ad, a screenplay, a doctor's excuse--fictional or otherwise--or a piece for radio.

You will know what will satisfy your writing urge when you see it.

2. Specify criteria against which you can measure said output. E.g., minutes/hours; pages; words; lines; posts; etc.

3. Produce at least one writing product which meets whatever criterion you have determined each day.

4. Keep a daily record of what you produce.

For myself, this blog post counts as today's writing.

Please feel free to sign on, if this sort of structure appeals to you. And to let me know how it's going.

Leaping to Conclusions

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 02:38:00 +0000

Every four years, my husband and I have an anniversary. Whether we need it or not.

This is that year. And this is that day.

We were married on the first (or fourth) anniversary of our first official date, which had been Leap Day, 1992. So, ever so coincidentally, our 1996 wedding day was also Leap Day.

We eloped, because at least some of our children--his, mine, and ours, ranging in age from 19 to almost 3--would almost certainly have acted out seriously, negating the thrill of a day on which we had spent too much money, and in which we had invested too much emotion.

We kept the whole thing to ourselves for a month.

In the sixteen years since, we've weathered more than our share of storms. Our friendship is intact, the embers of our romance can still respond to some fanning, and in this beleaguered second marriage for both of us, neither of us has contemplated divorce.

We deserve to celebrate.

If it weren't for my NaBloPoMo pledge, I'd take the day off blogging. Instead, I'm concluding my February challenge, 29 days of posting, and four or sixteen years of marriage with a toast to my best love.

Happy Anniversary!

I'd do it all--well, most of it--over again.

Procrastinating 101: Tomorrow--You're ALWAYS a Day Away

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 01:29:00 +0000

In Annie's rose-colored version of the song, tomorrow is a haven for hope, a raincheck, something to pin one's dreams to when today disappoints. Dr. Timothy Pychyl, author of The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, would have us sing it differently.

Annie's view is that "Tomorrow is only a day away." We don't have long to wait. Dr. Pychyl points out that tomorrow, as a repository of new energy, better mood and motivation, never comes--it's "always a day away."

That cheery observation is the main message of Dr. Pychyl's Chapter 4, "Why We Won't Feel Like it Tomorrow." In today's Procrastinating 101 we continue digesting Pychyl's digest--kind of like a crib sheet from Cliff Notes.

Pychyl's formula should be familiar by now. Each chapter includes a mantra. Chapter 4's is "I won't feel more like doing it tomorrow."

His exposition of the issue presents some useful terms from the psychological literature, which were new to this reader of all things procrastinational.

The first is affective forecasting, which is basically our flawed attempt to plan actions based on how we think we're going to feel in the future. In the case of procrastinators, this usually consists of a false expectation that the task that is so onerous today will be less so tomorrow--a tomorrow which Pychyl has warned us against waiting for.

And we go wrong in forecasting our future feelings because of

focalism--"the tendency to underestimate the extent to which other events will influence our thoughts and feelings in the future" and
presentism--putting "too much emphasis on the present in our prediction of the future."

And here's the "catch"--"when we intend a future action, our affective state is often particularly positive."

Pychyl's strategies for dealing with this human foible?

Strategy #1--Time travel

What he apparently has in mind here is getting more specific about the future. For example, in thinking about retirement, he recommends we chart and spreadsheet our way to a more realistic picture of how current decisions will affect our future economic wherewithal.

Although this practice might prove useful, Pychyl is concerned that us ditherers may engage in second-order procrastination--i.e., putting off the planning exercise intended to ward off procrastination. Ah, there's a term for this troublesome behavior of mine.

Never fear, however. There's a back-up strategy.

Strategy #2--Expect to be wrong and deal with it

As we have gotten used to doing with iffy weather forecasts and downright unreliable economic predictions, we can learn to discount our lousy predictions. Pychyl outlines two approaches to doing this:

Approach #1-- Accept that "My current motivational state does not need to match my intention in order to act."

As Pychyl asserts, "This is a common misconception about goal pursuit; we believe that we have to actually feel like it. We don't."

Approach #2--Similar to #1. Kind of the difference between sucking it up today, and sucking it up tomorrow. Realizing that when we do arrive at tomorrow, our mood is not going to be as good as we anticipated yesterday when we made the plan to act, we can plunge in anyway.

"[T]he thing to do it to remember that this is a transient mood." "And to know that this [being dismal at mood prediction, and having to pay the piper] is a common problem with being human."

The hope is that motivation will follow behavior. Once we get going, we will feel more like continuing.

As Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, tells of her father's running program, which depended on the minimal commitment to "put on his running shoes and close the door behind him," behavior can produce attitude/motivation, as well as the other, perhaps more usual, way around.

The whole thing seems to me to amount to calling our own bluff. For those of us who have fallen prey to our own fairy tales about "the day to come" more times than we care to admit, this sort of wising up should not be rocket science.

Done for the Week: Still Climbing, Ala Winnie (Churchill, not Pooh)

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 16:08:00 +0000

The quote I put up for this week is from Winston Churchill, who said:

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

This, from a man who was famously hounded by "the black dog" of depression--which, in my book, lends some weight to this "sunny side" aphorism.

Last week, as ever in the midst of my never-ending ascent, I was occupied with the following:

Done for the Week: Feb. 20-Feb. 26, 2012

Biked once; swam once with my workout partner
Began physical therapy for foot injury
Got my husband to the gym with me
Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
Read Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy Baumeister & John Tierney
Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
Continued to work my two part-time jobs
Continued participating in BlogHer's NaBloPoMo
Published 7 blog posts
Continued work on current clients' projects
Met with communication team
Attended two yoga classes
Participated in phone call about my husband's retirement plans
Did laundry
Babysat for my grandchildren, for their parents' first "night out" since new baby's arrival
Continued college conversations with youngest son
Meditated 2 times
Straightened my work room
Took my dog to the dog park
Gave my husband minor assistance with taxes
Scheduled my Leap Day anniversary celebration
Scheduled potluck with friends

Last week's most important accomplishment was successfully completing 26 days of BlogHer's February NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), which required posting a blog entry each day. I am still relearning how much joy I glean from maintaining my blog. And how much time I can make for writing when I make up my mind to do it.

The week ahead will bring the end of this NaBloPoMo challenge. I see from the BlogHer community that a lot of bloggers "re-up" at the conclusion of a NaBloPoMo month. I am trying to decide whether to take on another month, in order to "set" my new work energy and orientation, or to move to re-focusing these assets on other writing projects. I'll keep you "posted." [I know. Groan.]

My focus goal for last week was intended to play to one of my strengths--reading. I planned to finish reading Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Baumeister & Tierney. This goal represented a kind of backing up with respect to my recently failed attempts to meet a focus goal of meditating regularly. The idea was to retreat to an achievable rung on this apparently too challenging ladder, to experience meeting the goal. I was anticipating some take-away from the book that would make it easier to re-establish and keep up with a meditation practice.

The good news is, I did read the book. Though I didn't find it as "sinfully delicious" as its hype portended, and some of what the authors unveiled I had seen before, I did learn a thing or two. I am still digesting what I read, and culling through the findings and suggestions. I know I will write about at least one of the book's lessons in the near future.

As to meditation? My baby-step focus goal for this week is to strategize; to figure out how to apply what I know and am learning to the problem of wanting and needing to meditate, but not making time for it.

What This Procrastinator is Really Doing

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 18:47:00 +0000

Too much talking this week. I'm out of words. So I'm falling back on the blogging device of going pop culture.

This "What I'm Really Doing" meme has been done to death. It's even made it to the Buddhists. Here's my procrastinator's angle:

Click to Enlarge

Credit to memegenerator.net, which you should visit if you want to get in your shot at this expired equine.

Brain Basics: A User's Cheat Sheet

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 00:22:00 +0000

In the category of resurrected wisdom . . .

Some months ago, I bookmarked an article I came across that was originally published in August of 2009, more than a year before I started writing Put it to Bed. I have a whole store of such resources, kind of a personal tidbit library. I periodically visit this cluttered virtual chamber, in search of "writing juice," something that will trigger the process of thought and invention that gives me something to say.

This particular piece caught my eye at the time, and again this morning, because its title resonated with the self-help fatigue that intermittently overcomes those of us who tend to read our way through problems. "Why do so many self-help books sound the same?" was written by neuroscientist Dr. David Rock for his Psychology Today blog Your Brain at Work : Using Neuroscience to Improve Daily Life.

In it he says

It's not that authors are plagiarists, it's that there are a small set of quirks about the brain that require a lot of attention, if you want to succeed in the modern world. The reason these quirks require attention is that they are not insights we might learn automatically, like how to breathe: they require learning, like a language. And these quirks are often hard to remember because in many cases they go against what seems logical.

He identifies the following as five of the bigger quirks:

The brain is built to firstly minimize danger, before maximizing rewards. This means people tend to naturally err on the side of cautious, even when the opposite would be better. This is an overarching organizing principle of the brain.

Too much uncertainty feels dangerous. It feels like possible pain so we avoid it.

Our conscious processing capacity is small, which makes us terrible at a lot of things, including predicting what might make us happy.

Our capacity to regulate emotions is limited, depletes fast and needs to be used quickly to be effective.

Our intentions and goals alter the information that the brain pays attention to.

So this is why I struggle with procrastination, and why I spend so much time reading about procrastination. Because, although I am not encountering so much that's cutting edge, uncharted, or unique, still I need to hear what I already know, at some level, again. And again. And yet again. In picking up one more "handbook," "guide" or "program," I am setting my intention; giving my tiny conscious processing capacity another shot at the material; becoming more familiar with the unknown and uncertain; and learning more about what will make me happy.

Sometimes I wonder why we ever left the cave. We are apparently so ill-equipped for the world we inhabit. We inherit this life-long project of training our outgrown brains for the way we want to live. And it's a lot of work . . .

Will to [Will]power

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:01:00 +0000

So, I'm reading Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney--as I said I would, at the beginning of this week, having identified some continuing difficulties of my own with this elusive capacity.

I'm clipping along, encountering one fascinating aspect of self-regulation after another. And picking up some hints along the way, aimed at enhancing my less-than-steel will. I've been reading about David Blaine, holding his breath for 17+ minutes; encased in ice for 63 hours Times Square; and generally engaging in professional displays of self-torture--in between personal bouts of desuetude and self-control lapses.

I've been reading about research subjects experiencing all sorts of tests, deprivations and stimuli designed to measure and manipulate willpower, from radishes to boredom to sexual stimulation.

And I've been reading about Drew Carey hiring productivity guru David Allen to put him through his GTD [Getting Things Done] paces. For some unmentionable amount. And apparently to great effect.

I have certainly been entertained thus far, as the book's dust jacket promised. And I have learned a lot about human will, and some elements that may strengthen it. But it remains to be seen whether or not I have the willpower to implement what I'm learning. Or even to digest the material and translate it into some discrete steps to launch my reprogramming.

I don't have Drew Carey's money. Or David Blaine's nerve and monomania. And I really don't like radishes.

On the other hand, I am drawn by the vision of my life with a bit more purposeful action. So I'll keep reading. I have at least that much self-control. Er, willpower.

1000 Awesome Things for Procrastinators: The First Ten

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 01:50:00 +0000

Like many web visitors, I make frequent pilgrimages to Neil Pasricha's 1000 Awesome Things for inspiration, amusement and cheer.

For today's post, I am channeling my inner Neil. If Neil were a procrastinator, or if my inner Neil were awesome, we might see 1000 Awesome Things for Procrastinators. Here are ten things I can imagine on the list, contributed by the angel and the devil of procrastination, five each:

Good Awesome (from the angel of reform)

#1 Already being in your seat/on your mat/on the dias before your meeting/yoga class/speaker's introduction begins. (Whew!)

#2 Turning in a project before its due date.

#3 Crossing off backlogged items on your to-do list.

#4 Starting on something well ahead of time.

#5 Facing a clean desk first thing in the morning.

Guilty Pleasure Awesome (sources of joy from the devil of delay)

#1 Finally winning at solitaire (which my old British novels call Patience). Especially if you're playing the version that celebrates with applause audio and dancing cards! (Unless you're in public, or at work, where you'll want to mute that potentially embarrassing telltale sound effect.)

#2 Facebook Games! What a colossal waste of time! And you can connect up with your friends and help them waste time too! And publicize your non productive behavior!

#3 Killing an hour (or two, or three) surfing the web. Sooooo much good information, and the thrill of addiction.

#4 Letting something go for so long that it becomes moot. Like finally accepting in May that you're not going to get around to sending holiday cards this (last) year.

#5 Forgetting to write down an appointment, so you can forget to keep it.

I have not fleshed these out ala Mr. Pasricha, because I am late getting this post done tonight. But the reader can picture each awesome item accompanied with a charming illustration, and some written long and featuring internal rhymes.

While I'm at it, here's an Awesome Thing for this blogger--the creative piggyback. Awesome!

And thank you, Neil Pasricha, the back to my pig. (Your crown is safe.)

For Procrastinators: A Cautionary Tale of Your Own Making

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:36:00 +0000

Remember Mad Libs? If you have kids, or have been one more recently than I have, you have probably spent some time with these wacky little fill-in-the-blanks stories, and hopefully some of it in shared hysterics. Because I need a break today, and a laugh above all else, I am presenting this Procrastinator's Mad Lib (which is kind of redundant, don't you think?). My own fill-ins appear in list form, at the end. Enjoy! (Don't you just hate when they say that?)

My fill-ins, left to right

Consider	Stupidly	Fiascos	Tiny	Pride	Sound
River	yikes	Sandy	Cormorant	Train	Sliver
Cooked	Eat	Store	Spilling	Trendy	Sidewalk
42	Swans	Kitchen	Novel	Friendship	Stomp
Clumsy	Results	Fertile	Crowds	Raggedy	Armchair
Steed	Saber	Far-fetched	Silver	Pretense	Drama
Copyright	Clone	Stone	Sheep	Thursday	Can
Friday	Cramming	Shoes	Participating	Cringing	Pansy

I'd love to see your tales.

Procrastinating 101: What We Have Here is a Failure to Self-Regulate

noreply@blogger.com (Mary) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:20:00 +0000

In this week's Procrastinating 101, we continue to learn from Dr. Timothy Pychyl, author of The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle. His third chapter asks, and answers, the question "What's the Most Important Thing We Need to Know About Procrastination?"

And the answer is . . .

Procrastination is an issue of self-regulation, or impulse control--which we have read about before. Pychyl says our procrastinating is directed at "short-term mood repair," and that it is self-reinforcing. We put off a dreaded or unpleasant task; we feel better; we learn that putting off tasks feels good; we are more likely to do it again.

So what does Pychyl see as the way out of this cycle?

Step 1: Get smarter emotionally. Pychyl defines emotional intelligence--a term widely used since its academic emergence in the mid-1980s, and having trickled into popular parlance by way of talk shows, magazine articles, blogs, even elementary school curricula--as "the ability to effectively identify and utilize emotions to guide behavior."

Apparently, "[r]ecent research has shown that lower emotional intelligence is related to more procrastination" but, thankfully, "[w]e can learn to more effectively perceive, understand and regulate our emotions."

Having recognized the emotional morass that leads to procrastination (and to other "poor choices," as grade school teachers are known to point out), the challenge is to get it together and stop acting out about our feelings. As in

Step 2: Learn to deal with the negative emotions associated with the tasks we tend to procrastinate. Here's where the mantra for this chapter comes in: "I won't give in to feel good. Feeling good now, comes at a cost."

Using this statement to remind ourselves of what we know, we can stay put instead of fleeing the scene of an impending task, and "suck it up." "If you turn away in an effort to make yourself feel better, it's over," warns Pychyl.

Pychyl sums up his approach this way:

THINK:
IF I feel negative emotions when I face the task at hand,
THEN I will stay put and not stop, put off a task or run away.

He references the work of Peter Gollwitzer on implementation intentions, which take this IF/THEN form. The stay put admonishment made me think of the Butt in Chair writer's guide developed by Jennifer Blanchard, author of the excellent, now-defunct-but-still-archived blog Procrastinating Writers.

Dr. Pychyl softens the "suck it up" bromide with this suggestion. We can overcome our discomfort with the negative emotions engendered by unappealing tasks by accessing some of the other thoughts and feelings that are also part of our "inner landscape." For example, instead of focusing on the fear triggered by a daunting project, we can center our thoughts on the anticipation of success and reward, or on our interest in the content, or on our capable self.

Again, a pithy treatise. And because it's short, I still have time to get to some of the things I've been avoiding. . .

"I won't give in to feel good. Feeling good now, comes at a cost."