The Forever Neighbor

Be In The Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 01:07:00 +0000

Normally when I visit the dentist I go alone. Today my little man kept me company. The dentist I visit sits back off the main highway in town, and when you look out the windows you see this old wooden pathway leading to a small bridge built for just walking. Once over the bridge it appears it leads you into a beautiful sea of trees. Shaded from the highway. Shaded from the world. Each time I go I always wonder where that path leads. Always curious but never explore.

Today little man asked if we could go walk on the wooden pathway. Without thinking I respond, “Not today bub, we have a lot to do at home.” His face shows the disappointment but he counters with, “maybe next time?” I smile, and shake my head yes.

I hear the whisper, “be in the moment.”

I think of all that needs to be done: laundry, gym, dishes, finish schoolwork, all before work at 4pm. Not enough time. I need it all done so I do not stress later.

“Be in the moment.”

After the appointment little man and I are walking to the car. He believes we are leaving. I in turn know we are not. I drop off my items and tell him lets go exploring. His eyes beam. He smiles. He thanks me.

My mommy heart is filled with thankfulness. With joy.

We begin our descent from the stairs and head towards the wooden path. It is quiet. The sun is shining. The beauty He has created takes my breath away. My eyes swallow up the beauty surrounding us. I stop to take in this moment. To be in the moment. I close my eyes. I thank Him for this blessing. I open my eyes and I watch my little man before me, ready for this unknown path we are about to travel. I forget about all that needs to be done because I am in the moment. This treasured time. Mother and son. Exploring. Surrounded by the beauty of the Creator.

We make it to the beginning of the wooden footpath. Quickly we realize what we saw from afar is not exactly as it appears up close. Parts of the path broken from the elements, little man says. I agree. I think how this relates to some many people. From afar they look happy, but when you get closer you see the sadness in their eyes due to the elements of the enemy. We cannot walk this footpath because it sits off the ground and walking on it would not be wise. A part of me is saddened that little man and I could not go into the sea of trees, but oh how my heart is happy with this time with him. Little man always exploring all the while I am rushing through the days.

I thank the Whisperer.

Be in the moment.

The Battle You Can No Longer Fight

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 16 Aug 2016 01:02:00 +0000

Feeling alone in a world of chaos can exist. There are many people walking this earth surrounded by crowds of people but yet they feel so alone. They put on this façade that all is well when in reality they are struggling. Struggling to keep up. Struggling to find a connection. A connection to what? They are unsure. They just know they are feeling alone.

Loneliness is hard. Especially when you are surrounded by people daily. You feel as if no one hears you or if they do, you feel it falls on deaf ears. You continue to find a place. A place of contentment. A place of happiness. A place of understanding. But most importantly a place of joy.

You feel as if you are in the middle of a crowded room, and you are screaming, jumping, waving your arms around, trying to get someone’s attention, but no one looks at you. You fall to your knees. Broken. Beat up. Giving up. What is the purpose of trying? Why move past this feeling of loneliness when it is obvious you are alone?

You stagger through the days. You wish people could see the attacks the enemy is making within you. You wish the beat up inside of you could be worn on the outside. To show the world the battle you are enduring.

The battle you can no longer fight.

All you can do in this moment is give up.

You give up trying to do this on your own. The battle wounds are too much. One more attack from the enemy could be the final blow. You cry out, “Why? Why have you left me?” But yet you know in your heart, in your Spirit, that He has not left you. He has not forsaken you. You truly believe this because you believe His word. His promises.

But you can’t help but feel as if He did leave you.

Then the whisper of a Father to his daughter, “I did not leave you. I have been here with you. Crying with you. Holding you. Protecting you from the attacks you did not receive because I took them for you. You are not alone. I am here. I have always been here.”

Eyes closed. Head bowed. On your knees. Tears rolling down your face. You begin to truly feel peace. Peace only given to you by Him. The Creator of all. The Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and End. The Great I Am has covered you with His peace. His presence is surrounding you. You begin to realize the loneliness you experienced was not because He left you.

You realize you left Him.

A Work In Progress

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 15 Aug 2016 01:05:00 +0000

A year ago I felt walking away from blogging was the best thing for me to do. I told myself, or maybe it was me believing the lies of the enemy, either way, I felt I just wasn’t equipped to blog anymore. I mean seriously, I am not equipped. My words are not eloquent and I tend to ramble. I am of flesh who sins frequently and falls daily. How can I try to encourage others or lift others up when I am walking this earth completely confused? I had no idea how lost I truly was a year ago. I am still lost, but His mercies are new every morning.

I never had the intention of working on myself this past year. I honestly had no idea what to work on, or even why. I mean I felt all was right. However, I did feel like I was missing something. What? I had no idea. It was not until just recently it was revealed to me.

I was missing joy.

I am talking about true joy. Yes, I had a lot of happy times this past year. My business was doing well. My marriage was reaching the 17 year mark. My children and I were bonding daily. BUT I still felt like something was missing. Mornings would come and I fought getting out of bed. I began to put other things; other “priorities” before my time with Him. I put Him aside and made Him less and less of a priority in my life.

All unbeknown to me.

Then the month of May arrived and it was rough for me. At least at first it was rough. God grabbed ahold of me and started to do a work within me. Work I had not seen in years. The last time I saw this type of work was back in 2009 when He brought me to my knees and I surrendered to Him. When I could no longer do this thing called life on my own.

I began to quietly seclude myself from many areas of my life.

At first I fought Him. Is that normal? When the Creator of all wants to do a work in us, to better us, we fight Him. Why? I believe I will never understand this concept. I finally accepted that I could not run and allowed Him to do His work within me. It was hard. I found myself on my knees daily. Asking for help. Saying, “Lord, change me.” The longer He worked on me, the more the scales were removed from not just my eyes, but my heart as well. Then I felt that feeling. The feeling His time of working on me was coming to an end. Not a forever end, but an end for right now. I was terrified. I did not want to be released from this work He had in me. I felt like a little toddler hanging onto her daddy’s leg begging him not to leave as he goes to work. I was afraid. I am ugly crying. Begging Him not to let me go.

I have been released. He is telling me the work is done. Until next time. I let go of His leg and hang onto His promises. His words. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will hold me up with His righteous right hand. Do not be afraid.

But I am, I whisper.

Afraid of falling back into old ways. Afraid of what the future holds. Afraid of letting others down. Afraid of failing. Afraid of failing Him.

I have two choices: 1) go back to old ways or 2) embrace the work He has done within me and move forward.

I choose the latter.

I should feel joy, right? I mean He just did a month’s worth of work within me, so I should be this joyful-over the top-ridiculously-annoying-happy person. But I wasn’t. I was so confused.

As I am trying to figure all this out, I sit from the sidelines. From the sidelines I watch members of my church family say goodbye to their loved ones. Loved ones who have been called home. Loved ones who are now sitting at His feet and waiting on us to arrive. My heart hurts. More confusion. How can I find joy in any of this?

Then the whispers begin: find the blessings. Count the gifts. Read it again.

These whispers begin and continue. I, being of the flesh, shrug it off. Until I could no longer ignore the whispers. I need to re-learn to count my blessings even during the hard times. I open the book and begin to read, “One Thousand Gifts” by AnnVoskamp. Slowly I feel something rising in me. Could this be what I was lacking? Could this be true joy? I am not sure so I continue to read and allow Him to work.

A work still in progress…

The Broken One

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 29 Jun 2015 13:30:00 +0000

In May I decided to become a part of an amazing company. I was very hesitant and prayed A LOT about joining Arbonne. After I felt God giving me the go ahead I joined this company. It has been a ride the last couple of months and I am LOVING it! This past weekend I attended a vendor fair for my new company. I was so nervous and almost backed out, but then I remembered a pastor of ours once said “if you commit to something you need to keep your word.” So there I was ready to back out and those words rang through my head.

I decided to go.

On my drive to the vendor fair I was praying. I was asking Him to bring the right people, to help me get out of comfort zone and speak with people. Once I arrived at the vendor fair I saw how the enemy was trying to discourage me. I sent a message to a couple friends stating how I just wanted to go home and how discouraged I was. One friend replied with, “Smile, meet other vendors, show grace-like you always do!” At that very moment I needed those words. I needed the encouragement. Oh I should mention besides the vendor fair I have a large goal to meet by the end of June, which is over in a couple of days. The stress was on. I felt like I was going up against Goliath.

I prayed.

Then shortly after I saw a woman keep walking by my table. She walked by once. Then she walked by again. Finally I introduced myself and carried on a conversation with her. I spoke with this precious woman for about 30 minutes. People walking by my table. People I could not engage with because my focus was on her. This precious woman was broken. Lost. Needing a friend. Finally I asked her if I could pray for her. She said yes.

So we prayed.

Once the fair was over and I arrived home I felt defeated. I sat in my office with my husband and just cried. I compared myself to other vendors. I saw all their contact sheets from potential customers. I allowed the enemy to bring me down. I allowed the enemy to tell me lies. To tell me I am not good enough. To tell me that I will not make my goal this month.

I felt defeated.

Until the next morning.

As I was sitting in church the next morning I was an emotional wreck. The tears would not stop. I needed Him. I remember standing there during worship time and just the longing I had to sit at His feet. To feel His comfort and arms wrapped around me. The songs continued and each song spoke to me:

“Nothing formed against me shall stand.”

“There are greater things to come.”

“I sing praises.”

Oh yes Lord! Words of the spoken truth. Each of these verses from each of our songs spoke to my heart and each time I sang those words the harder the tears fell. Then He whispered to me, “Yesterday you built up My kingdom. You prayed over one of my broken children.” At that moment I realized it wasn’t about my new company. It wasn’t about me. I was not there for the business I was there to build up His kingdom.

You know what?

I may not reach this goal I have set, but I have reached another goal; to show His love to others.

One of my reasons to start this business was to show His love and to bless others. If I cannot reach certain goals or promotions in my business but excel in these two areas then I say I have succeeded!

To Him be the Glory!

He Loves Me For Me

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 13 May 2015 14:22:00 +0000

Some days I look back on my life; my life growing up, middle school, high school, and after graduation. I remember hating life. I was a lost person looking for acceptance. I was miserable. I thought once I turned 18 I would be gone. I would move out, leave my hometown, and never look back. I did leave when I was 18 but looking back I was searching for something, but I was not sure what I was searching for.

I am not the same person I was back then. I have found that acceptance. The acceptance not from people because let’s face it we may never receive acceptance from people, but I found it with Him. Sadly, there are times where I am still compared to how I was back then. It hurts but that is reality because that is how people will always perceive me. However, I know who I am. I know I am not the same person. Thank you Jesus!

Some days I find myself wishing I grew up differently or doing “what if’s?” But then I quickly remind myself I am who I am because of whom I was. My past molded me into who I am today. I learned what not to do or who to be. I am able to use my past to raise my children. I am able to use my past as a stepping stone to my future. I am able to use my past as a reminder of whom I do not want to be.

I am a child of the One True God. I have found acceptance within Him. He loves me, flawed and all. He opens His arms to me when I am crying, hurting, overwhelmed, needing comfort, needing acceptance. He forgives me of my sins when I repent. He loves me for me. And that is all I need in life.

I found who I am in Him.

All Things New

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 11 May 2015 16:29:00 +0000

Today I begin day two of my detox. I had great results from week one AND I overcame temptations many times throughout the week. During this detox I am NOT having sugar, alcohol, caffeine, dairy, or gluten. I have switched over to cleaner personal hygiene products as well because I have learned a lot about mineral oils and how it traps in the toxins our bodies are trying to release. I need to release all these toxins my body has held in for almost my entire life. The more I cleanse my body on the inside and out, the more toxins I can release.

Yesterday, during church the worship team sang a song referring to making all things new. Now of course this was going on as I am trying to drink a 32 ounce bottle of cleansing juice. Ironic? I think not. But then the more I sang this song the more I realized something. As I detox, I am releasing all of the toxins; all things that are not good for my body. Just as I release these toxins I am making my body new, just as Christ did for us. Once we are born again, He wipes all of our sins away.

We are made new.

All we have done in our past that we are not proud of is wiped away. He has forgiven us and has given us a new path. A new life. He has made us new. Our sins are like toxins within our body. We need to release them and the only way to do that is falling at His feet. Confessing our sins. And living our life for Him.

Is it easy?

No. We will have temptations. The enemy will come to attack because he does not want us turning to Him. However, the more we read His word, spend time in prayer and at His feet the more we can release the toxins or sin out of our life. Trust me when I say we will sin because we sin daily, but keeping our eyes on Him allows us to sin less and to release more of the toxins within us.

What do you need to release from your life?

Take it to Him. He is waiting to help you. Trust in Him.

Clean, Healthy, Gluten-Free Banana Pancakes

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 06 May 2015 17:30:00 +0000

A favorite breakfast meal for my son is pancakes. He loves them! Well, the recipe I use is not very healthy, even though I make them from scratch. I could make the recipe clean but I am looking for something different and easy. Yesterday we found the recipe!

Now my son is my more “choosier” (I do not think that is even a word!) eater. My daughter and I were not sure how he would like these pancakes, but prayed for the best. He noticed the difference in the pancakes and asked the question, “why do they look different than normal?” I told him they were banana pancakes. He did not question after that and tore into the pancakes. After he ate two I asked if he liked them. He said they were really good. I then went on and told him the ingredients. He shrugged his shoulders and ate another pancake. I guess I can say we found a healthier cleaner version of pancakes in our house! A chocolate banana pancake that is clean and healthy???? Yes please!!!

Woo-hoo!!!!

Ingredients:

1 banana

2 eggs

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 scoop of a clean chocolate protein powder (we use Arbonne protein powder)

1. Mash the banana in a bowl.

2. Add the eggs and mix well.

3. Add the rest of the ingredients
4. Pour about ¼ cup of batter on griddle or pan.

Makes about 8 pancakes.

Life Changing Moments

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Apr 2015 15:25:00 +0000

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

This exact verse is one I have sent to a couple of my closest friends within the last week. Each facing some very scary struggles. One not knowing if she has cancer and another just finding out she is pregnant but unsure if she will make it past the first trimester. Each facing some very scary moments. These are just two of my friends facing scary moments in their life's at this very moment, but I have others hurting and facing the unknown.

Life changing moments.

As a friend who loves each of these people dearly you feel helpless. You hurt for them. All you want to do are hug them. Cry with them. Hold them as they cry. You want to say everything will be okay but you are unsure of the final result. You know no matter the end result God has a plan. Whatever is meant to harm us, He will turn into good. Somehow He will. How can He turn cancer or losing a child into something good?

I wish I had an answer for that but I do not. I am only of the flesh and my mind cannot wrap itself around it, but He is greater. He holds our life in His hands. He is our Creator. All I know is we can only turn towards Him. Trust in Him. Cry to Him. Pray to Him. Find comfort in His arms.

As I was praying, and continue to pray for my friends, I find myself repeating this verse to myself. The fear is too much. My dear friends. My sisters in Christ. Oh the fear they are facing. My heart hurts for them. I continue to pray for them. Praying each of them feels Him holding their right hands. Comforting them. Holding them. Wiping their tears as He cries with them.

As fear creeps in we need to remind ourselves He is greater. He is with us. He will not leave us. He will turn all things into good.

Trust in Him.

**My friend facing the cancer has been told NO CANCER!!! Praise God!! Please lift up my other friend who is facing the fear of possibly not making it past the first trimester.

A Wake-Up Call That Changed Our Life And Diet

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 11:44:00 +0000

Last December I received a phone call from my husband. He told me he was having ANOTHER episode and I needed to bring him to the emergency room. My husband was at work and I told him to call the ambulance and I would be there as soon as I can. I cannot tell you the thoughts going through my head.
I was a mess!

My husband had done what the doctors call “the million dollar testing." He had every test completed on him to determine what was happening. In the end they gave him a diagnosis (for my husband's privacy I will not announce the diagnosis). When I first heard the diagnosis I did not believe that is what he had, but who am I? I am no doctor and plus he just had all this testing done so the doctors had to be right. Since the testing he has seen a couple other doctors who do not agree with the diagnosis. Either way it was a wake-up call for our family.

One of those wake-up calls was our diet. We needed to clean it up.

My husband started making healthy changes to his diet. The biggest, hugest, greatest, awesomeness (love my words?) accomplishment is quitting Mountain Dew!!! My husband loved his Mountain Dew and could finish a 12-pack within two days. He would drink water but not as much as he should. I am so proud of him for quitting. He now drinks about a gallon of water a day!

I am so proud of him!

Not only has he given up soda BUT he is all about clean-eating as long as it tastes good (in his words). For the past couple of months I have found some different recipes to try and started incorporating small changes such as using coconut oil rather than canola oil or almond milk rather than regular milk. To my surprise the family has not really noticed the changes.

ONWARD!

Now I am making even more changes and they are completely in love with the changes! As am I! My daughter told me last night that she feels healthier. The hubby has lost weight since he started clean eating. My son tends to be my picky eater and I haven’t heard anything negative from him with the food changes. I am in love with the changes because I know I am making healthy, clean meals for my family.

I have read that food (processed food) can make us sick and cause many illnesses and I believe this. (The family and I just watched a documentary that confirms this belief even more!) My husband has not had any episodes since we changed his eating habits. Our grocery budget is still the same and we can afford the cleaner foods because we cut out a lot of the processed foods. Now, we are not 100% clean-eating but I would say we are sitting at about 75-80%. I still have some changes to make but overall I am very pleased with our new lifestyle.

No Peacetime, Only War

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 14:12:00 +0000

This past Sunday my family and I watched something that we haven’t watched since my daughter was a baby; The Academy of Country Music Awards. Back in the day the hubby and I listened to nothing but country music and since The Academy was celebrating the 50^th year anniversary we thought why not.

Towards the end of the program a country singer named Alan Jackson, some of you probably know of him, sang his song called "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?" This particular song speaks of September 11, 2001.

When he began to sing this song it brought me back to that morning. September 11, 2001. I remember standing in my living room with my then nine month daughter on my hip staring in amazement at what I was witnessing on television.

As the day progressed and new information was coming out, I remember holding my daughter and fearing for her since both of her parents were military at the time. I knew our lives would never be the same. I never thought we would still be at war but it is our reality.

Our next generation rising up has never experienced a world at peace so to speak. All they know is war. There are wars raging overseas and here at home in our country. Many of the next generation may not even know that at one time you could actually meet those arriving off planes at the actual gate. You didn’t have to stand behind a line with security before you, waiting for your loved one. Our military children growing up after 9/11 know only of deployments, PTSD, and Skype. Our next generation knows only of fighting and hatred.

We, the generation prior to 9/11, need to step alongside this next generation and teach them of peace and love. That peace and love I speak of is Jesus. We need to teach the next generation about His Word, His Love, His Grace, and His Mercy. How do we teach them this? By showing them. Modeling to them. Embracing them rather than thinking they can’t be helped or blaming them or turning away from them.

Run to them.

Open your arms to them as Jesus does for you.

My Book List For The Year

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 13:11:00 +0000

Y’all notice these books in the picture, right?

These are all books or Bible studies that I had every intention of reading. Some of them I have started and read a couple chapters or maybe just a page or just never started. Either way I never completed the books. Okay, wait a second. As I look at the pile, there is one book that I did complete, which is Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. So, yay I completed one book out of this pile! Woo-hoo!!! Now I feel a little bit better about this pile. The reason why it is even in the pile is because I need to read it again. The book is very insightful in inviting God into my weight-loss journey. That is a whole other blog post!

Anyways, as I was saying I had every intention of reading these books. Each book spoke to me in a different season of my life. However, I just never finished or started the book. I remember back in the day how I could read a book in a day or two. I could never put the book down. Nowadays I find myself getting distracted or my mind begins to wander, next thing I know I am asking myself, “What book was I reading and where I did put it?” Hence begins the cycle of never completing a book.

Am I the only one who does this? Please tell me I am not!

Over my little blogging break and just recently I was thinking about how I need to begin reading again. Make reading more intentional. Each of these books touches different areas of my life such as mothering, marriage, health, and Christian living, but they all have one thing in common; strengthening my walk with Christ.

So my goal for the rest of the year is to complete all of these books. Originally my goal was a couple of months but let’s be honest; it is me we are talking about. So I think a realistic goal for me is the end of the year.

Right now I am reading The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst and I am LOVING it! Oh and by the time this posts I should have completed it!

Woo-hoo!! One book down….

I Almost Stepped Away

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 17:49:00 +0000

The last couple of weeks I have felt led to get back into blogging. I stepped away feeling as if I should just be done completely. I would tell myself, “who is really reading your posts anyway” OR “there is no point in doing this blogging thing anyway because you are not equipped to blog” OR “look at some of these other blogs, you cannot even compare to them.” So I stepped away. I needed a break. During that break I realized one thing:

I need this blog.

This blog is not where I sit behind a computer screen and pretend to be someone I am not. What I write is what I feel. It is my outlet. I express my struggles, concerns, love for Christ, love for my family, recipes, fitness, and just this journey of life that I am on. Some people may be interested and some may not. That is okay.

Many things have changed within my life since I first started this blog a few years back. I have blogged about many of these changes but some have occurred since I stopped blogging. Some topics I once blogged about no longer exist in my life. Or some topics have changed in my life such as coupons and how I just do not bother anymore. That is a whole other blog post!

So as I begin blogging again you may see new topics and some little changes here on my little blog. One thing that will not change is my love for Christ. He will always be my main topic here on my little blog.

Going Through The Motions

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:55:00 +0000

You attend every church service each week. You attend every church function. You volunteer in the church nursery. You tithe. You attend Bible study. You say you will pray for people. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t. You pray when things get tough. Sometimes you pray when you want something. Sometimes you do pray. Just not every day. You consider yourself a “good Christian.”

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 7:21

Most of those things are good and is what God wants you to do. BUT if you do not have a relationship with Him then all you’re doing is going through the motions. I am not talking about those who have just given their life to Christ and are trying to build that relationship. I am not talking about those who are still searching for Him. I am talking about those who know they do not have that personal relationship with Him. I am talking about those who are going through the motions.

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Matthew 7:22

I have seen many people stand up and announce everything they have done for His Kingdom, but in the same breath their actions shout “I do it for my glory not His.” Trust me I have done this same thing. I know many of us struggle with this very thing. Oh the image we portray to others. We can have the head knowledge of His Word, but if it is not planted within our hearts then we need to have a heart check. We need to plant His Word within our hearts.

We do not know exactly what a “good Christian” is until we read His Word. His Word tells us exactly what He wants for all of us. Reading His Word, knowing His Word, praying daily, is knowing Him. Having a relationship with Him is taking time out to talk with Him, repent, ask for His help, and praise Him in the good and bad times. A relationship with Him is the same as having a marriage, or being a parent. You work at it. You take time out to get to know Him. You also take time out to listen to Him. He longs for that relationship with us.

“Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:23

When we stand before Him on judgment day, will He tell you away from me? Or welcome my child?

Are you looking for that relationship with Him? Call out to Him. Tell Him you want that relationship. Trust me when I say He already knows. He is waiting for you. Just knock and the door will be opened for you.

Top Priority for the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 20:29:00 +0000

I have been quiet the last month and a half because I feel I have been on a whirlwind of chaos. I have had to step back from many things in my life recently so I can truly hear God. To have that time with Him. To rest in His arms. To go deeper in His Word. To rejuvenate myself. To become stronger in my walk. To focus on Him and not on the chaos that is whirling around me.

As you know we have entered the New Year. Of course the New Year brings new goals or resolutions. I, as like many other people, began to wonder what I was going to work on this year. I began to think of the usual items such as losing weight, be a better mom, be a better wife, and become more organized. However, each time these items came to mind I felt like those were not a top priority. Now do not get me wrong all those items are important, but there is one that is even greater. One priority that can allow me to conquer each of these items.

I needed to draw closer to God. I felt I was doing well in this area. I read His Word ~~daily~~ almost daily. I prayed. I went to church. I did all the “good Christian” things. However, I feel like I need to do more. I need to draw closer to Him. So this is my goal for not just this year but for each year after. I cannot complete my goals without Him. I do not know what He asks of me if I do not take time to be with Him. My relationship with Him is the top priority.

He has shown me a lot this past month and a half and I cannot wait to see what He has planned for me this year. I thank Him for doing this for me. I thank Him for showing me the areas I need to fix. I thank Him that His promises are new each day. I thank Him for His grace and mercy.

So as each new day approaches this New Year, I will keep my focus on my one goal, which are His promises.

His Word.

His blessings.

More of Him.

He Loves Them Too

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:50:00 +0000

Yesterday at church I had the privilege of listening to a married couple speak about their missionary work in Tanzania. Their motto was, “our journey begins where the road ends.” This lovely couple showed us a video documenting part of their travel. They had to cross rivers with crocodiles! They travel deep into the country where not many people travel too. There are many tribes that have never seen people outside of their own tribe and these people travel to these people to share the Gospel.

While traveling their vehicles would get stuck in mud or their vehicles could not even make it to certain areas because of the terrain. At one point in the video the missionaries and their team traveled by bicycle! Two hours by bicycle to a village and two hours back. The terrain was not the only struggles they faced. They had to deal with wildlife and the lack of good water. A gentleman in the video said they prayed their water filter worked because they ran out of water and had to use water from a river.

These people face so many obstacles to reach the people in these villages. Their heart is to tell them about Jesus. To tell them of the miracles He can do. To tell them about His love. How He loves them, the people of the villages. The people who have witch doctors. The people who have never seen a white person. The people who have never heard of this Jesus. The people He calls His children.

God has done many miracles for these missionaries. He has opened many doors for this couple to go out into the deepest areas of this country to show His love.

If God can reach people who are in the deepest darkest parts of the world then why do we feel He cannot reach us right where we are at?

This post is linked with What Joy is Mine.

I Will Rejoice In Him

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 15:31:00 +0000

The beginning of 2014 I set out goals I wanted to reach by the end of the year. One of the goals was to lose weight. I know pretty common among people. I set out to lose the weight I have gained over the years. I wish I could say the weight was from post-baby but it is not. I started gaining the weight when my youngest, my son, was five years old. At the time I had the mentality that I was young and my metabolism was in overdrive.

I was wrong.

I was naïve. I stopped working out and eating whatever I liked. At this time we were living in Alaska and I was not going to the gym in the middle of winter. I mean who wants to leave their warm home to go out in negative 40 degrees to work out? Not this lady. Nope. I again was naïve and felt that I would stay the same size.

Over the years I feel I have tried almost every possible diet and have come to the same result. Losing weight just to gain it all back and some. This year, 2014, I was determined to lose weight. I would lose the weight. I would not allow anything to stop me. Then life happened.

I found myself turning to food when I was frustrated, angry, hurt, sad, happy, and of course hungry. I was addicted to food. I was not reaching the goals I had set out for myself. I needed things to change. I needed to get more serious. I figured if I would break up my goal into smaller goals. Setting a date and then a certain amount of weight to lose. Simple. I wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the large number I set for myself earlier in the year.

I decided my 35^th birthday would be a good date. Mid-November. I had visions of my husband taking me out and I would be down 20 pounds. I would wear a dress three sizes smaller. I would feel so good about myself. Then I injured myself. Again I turned to food. One step forward, three steps back. I felt like a failure. I was aggravated. I would get even more frustrated when people would say, “well it is just your feet do an upper body workout.” Trust me, if I could, I would. I could barely walk. More frustration.

During this time of self-pity and “woe is me”, God was revealing things to me. It is not the number on the scale or the size of my pants. It is not about how much I can bench press or how much I can curl. It is about Him. It is about my relationship with Him. It is about taking this weight loss to Him. Sometimes we may feel like we do not want to bother Him with such things but that IS what He wants. To depend on Him. To trust Him. To rely on Him. It is about our walk with Him. He doesn’t want just part of us. He wants all of us. He wants us to come to Him with all things. Not just the big things.

He wants all of us.

My birthday is less than two weeks away. I will not reach the goal I had set for my birthday and you know what? I am okay with this because I would take the journey I have had with Him rather than the number on the scale or the size of my pants. My walk with Him has gone down a path that I could not even imagine. Will I reach my main goal of losing 30 pounds by the end of the year? Nope. This journey is long. It will take longer than a year. It is a marathon not a sprint. I will rejoice in the weight I have lost. I will rejoice about the journey He has taken me on. I will rejoice in Him.

841. More time with Him

842. The closeness with my husband and my two blessings

843. Our new edition to our family

844. Grace and mercy

845. This weight loss journey I am on

846. Candles burning and fireplace on during the early morning hours

847. Miracles God has done lately

848. A clean and organized basement

849. My son wanting to read

850. Days of rest

This post is linked with What Joy is Mine

My Daughter Just You Wait

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 13:30:00 +0000

Okay y’all I am a Minnesota girl living in Wisconsin. I NEVER thought I would ever live in Wisconsin. Now nothing is wrong with Wisconsin. It is very similar to Minnesota except for all the cheese but overall very similar. I mean I am a Minnesota girl and growing up all I heard was the rivalry between Minnesota and Wisconsin. Well, mainly between the Vikings and the Packers.

Anyways, about 13 years ago we were stationed in Minneapolis. My husband and I loved it. We were centrally located in the Twin Cities or we Minnesota folk call it “the cities.” It was great living there. My family was about two and half hours away and my in-laws were about 10 hours away. When my husband had four day weekends we would travel to Indiana to visit his family.

Now this is usually how our trip to Indiana went:

Husband arrived home Thursday evening around 4pm. He would go in to change his uniform while I was packing up the car and putting our daughter in her car seat. Then we would head east towards Indiana. About seven hours later, okay actually about four hours later after getting out of the cities traffic, we would always end up stopping in this small town in Wisconsin. This small town had a military base about 10-15 miles down the road. With my husband and me being military we knew about this small place. I remember telling my husband how I could NEVER live here. I mean there was nothing there except Wal-Mart and some other places. It was like farm country! Ummm, I am a straight city girl.

I would say this EVERY time we drove through this town!

Fast forward to now. Today. Thirteen years later.

Guess who was stationed at this small town that I would NEVER live in?

Yep. This girl right here.

Y’all, never say never.

I bet God was laughing at me each time I said that statement. He was probably saying, “ohhhhh my daughter just you wait.” Yep, probably laughing at this Minnesota girl who said she would NEVER live here.

Not only do we live here BUT we decided to RETIRE here.

Did y’all get that?

RETIRE HERE.

Yep, He was laughing the whole time.

This post is linked with Christian Mommy Bloggers and Missional Women.

Breaking The Chain I Put On Myself

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 06 Nov 2014 13:45:00 +0000

Last month my daughter and I had the privilege of attending a Women of Faith conference in St. Paul, Minnesota. We had such an awesome and blessed time. We bonded. We laughed. We were exhausted. We were blessed to hear some fabulous speakers, which one of those speakers was my favorite author, Lysa TerKeurst. The one thing Lysa said that stuck out to me had a huge impact on me.

She mentioned how she loves how her friend Christine Caine says, “Get off Facebook and into The Book.” That statement hit me like a pile of bricks. Ummm, hello conviction. I needed to hear this exact statement. Prior to this conference I was reading my Bible and doing my Bible studies BUT I did just enough. When I was bored I would find myself going on my Facebook app or Instagram app rather than His Word.

Conviction.

Last week I truly felt led by Him to fast from my personal Facebook page. I did not hesitate. I knew I needed to do this fast. I sent out a message to my homeschool co-op leaders that I would be stepping away from my personal page. I told them if they needed me they could text or email me. I then went and deleted my Facebook app. I kept my messenger app just in case someone needed to email me because I tend to get emails from my homeschool co-op parents throughout the month. I also left my TFN Facebook page because I did not feel led to fast from it.

Let me tell you how refreshed and less distracted I was during that week of fasting!! I truly enjoyed it and honestly dreaded having to go back on Facebook. The only reason why I went back on was because we have co-op this week and I needed to do some behind the scene work on our closed Facebook group. I never added the app back to my phone.

I found during the week of fasting how much more I was praying. I thought I was praying a lot before but I learned otherwise. I was less distracted. I completed more things during the day and I felt more organized. I dug even deeper into His Word. I was completely focused on Him.

I decided I would do this more often. Like as much as possible.

Breaking the chain I had put on myself.

Lysa also mentioned, “How we need to put Him first; first thing in the morning even if it is one verse.” Again conviction. I did my Bible reading in the morning but was I putting it first? Not all the time. She challenged us to read at least one verse first thing in the morning, every morning. I accepted the challenge and what a difference it has made in my days. I wake each morning and grab my phone to read the daily Bible verse on my Bible app. I then meditate on the words and pray until I sit down to dig deeper into His Word.

Can I challenge you to do the same? Will you read at least one verse each morning?

More of Him….

Not Waiting For The Turkey This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 13:24:00 +0000

Normally I wait until AFTER Thanksgiving before I indulge in anything CHRISTmas. For some reason this year I am ready for CHRISTmas Season to begin!

Post linked with We Are That Family, Wordless Wednesday, and 5 Minute For Moms.

Oh How I Love Daylight Saving Time

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 14:52:00 +0000

Why oh why???

Why does daylight saving time need to end???

I mean do not get me wrong I love the extra hour of sleep and the extra hour during the day to get things done. I know there are 24 hours in the day and just because daylight saving time is done does not mean we are now receiving 25 hours in a day, but it sure does feel like it! Yesterday I felt like I was Superwoman with everything I had completed.

However, the whole my little man waking up at 0530 since the clocks have changed can stop now. Little man has always been my early riser BUT this whole 0530 thing is just too much. I guess the plus side of him rising early is this mama has more time for coffee. Yes, that works. More time for coffee.

I guess this whole rising early thing isn’t such a bad thing. I mean you cannot go wrong with more coffee! Maybe that’s why I felt like Superwoman yesterday? Too much coffee? Naw. You can never have too much coffee.

Less Means More

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 16:12:00 +0000

How many times does God show us what He wants us to do but we do not pay attention? How many times does a topic keep coming up around us and we think “wow, I have heard so much about this lately?” Maybe we need to realize it is God trying to get our attention. Within the past month He has done this with me; trying to get my attention on a certain topic.

Simplify and thanksgiving.

We live in a world where we are surrounded with convenience and busyness. We can get caught up in our schedules and become overwhelmed. Then we find ourselves saying we do not have enough time in our days. Next thing we know we are dreading our daily lives because we have a sense of obligation to everything on our schedule. Finally, when this occurs we do not have a feeling of thanksgiving. We have a feeling of obligations.

Last year God convicted me of our schedule outside our home. I sat down, looked at our schedule and decided what to keep and what not to keep. Now our schedule consists of our homeschool co-op, church, and karate for the blessings. Our homeschool co-op meets twice a month, church is twice a week, and karate we attend about three times a week. At times I feel God leading me to take a rest and focus more on caring for our home and family. Then I will cut out karate for a week. Times do occur where we receive an invite for a birthday party or some other event. I then look at our schedule and determine if we need to eliminate something for that week. I try to keep our schedule balanced.

Two days a week I tend to schedule nothing. Sunday and Friday. Sunday is our day of rest. We attend church and then spend the rest of the day at home. This allows us to rest for the upcoming week. Friday evening is our night where we cook pizza and watch a movie or television show together. It is our night to unwind from the past week. These are the two days we look forward too. If an event occurs on these two days then I find a day during the week that we take as our day of rest. God rested after He created the world and He tells us in His Word we need to rest. So we feel it is important to have a day of rest.

I have felt that our schedule is simplified and nothing else needs to be worked on. Then He tells me otherwise. Many areas in our lives we can simplify not just our schedules. We can simplify within our homes. I know we have a lot of stuff. Trust me when I say it is stuff. I have already started to plan on what we can remove from our home so we do not have much clutter. Especially with the upcoming holidays we can accumulate more stuff. I already know one goal that I will be working on next year. Simplifying our home. I have a good friend of mine who is awesome at simplifying her home. When something new comes in something old goes out. I wish she still lived here so she can teach me her ways.

We can simplify many areas in our life. Our lists can vary from one person to another. One person may spend too much time on the computer while another does not even go on the computer. If you feel you need to simplify areas in your life, pray and ask Him what needs to be simplified. Then with an open heart and open mind listen to what He says. He may call you to simplify certain areas you are not ready to simplify, but remember He has reasons.

I have found when I simplify areas in my life I become more thankful. I feel the fog that once surrounded me has been lifted and I can now see. I am not overwhelmed with stuff. Not just tangible stuff but also intangible stuff. My heart is full of joy and thanksgiving rather than worry and feeling overwhelmed. I am less distracted.

The biggest eye opener to me for simplifying is it allows me more time with Him.

More time with Him, more family time, more joy, more thanksgiving?

Yes, more simplifying for me, please!

831. Family time

832. Cooler weather

833. More of Him

834. Less distractions

835. Morning coffee

836. Remembering His blessings for me

837. Counting my blessings

838. Weight lost so far

839. Working dishwasher

840. Crock-pot meals

My Name Is

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 15:08:00 +0000

I read the words that came across the screen of my phone. “Jesus has already won this battle for you honey never let that devil defeat you. You are strong Barb and you are a child of the most high God. You can and will get through this.” Of course! Those words speak truth! A dear friend of mine sent me these words months ago when I was struggling. How could I forget the most important title I hold? Child of the Most High God.

We hold many titles in our life. Some titles can be mother, father, wife, husband, friend, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, and the list continues. Titles exist everywhere. Eventually we can get lost within our titles and believe our titles make up our identity. I cannot tell you how many times I am called, “hey so and so’s mom!” My name no longer exists to the little people within the world. I am titled “so and so’s mom.” Mom. That is my title. This has been my title for over a decade. It is a title that I take very seriously. It is who I am. A mother. It has become my identity.

Sometimes our titles can be divorcee, widower, drug addict, alcoholic, smoker, abuser, and again the list continues. These titles are harder to hear and handle. Again, the titles become our identity. We believe this is who we truly are. We begin to feel lost. Defeated. Overwhelmed. We may feel like we are a lost cause. There is no hope for us. We believe these titles will always exist. It is who we are.

Can I tell you these titles do not even compare to the most important title you hold in your life?

Child of the Most High God. YOU ARE A CHILD OF A KING!

Yes, you the one who holds the hard titles. The one who has lost their true identity. The one walking lost within this world. Once we accept our title of a Child of the King, we begin to understand who we truly are within this world.

We begin to release the titles of this world. A divorcee, widow, drug addict, alcoholic and we begin to embrace our true title, Child of the King. This title is one that can never be taken from us because He has shed His blood for us. He has given us this title through His death. Now I say that is a pretty important title.

Do not accept the titles of this world. Accept the title your King has given you.

His Child.

Child of the One TrueKing.

The Invasion That Stole Their Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 15:00:00 +0000

As I sat in the arena surrounded by women my heart was aching. As I was sitting there I made a full turn so I could see the arena of women standing. Hurting. Crying. In despair. My heart hurt so much for these beautiful women. I wanted to leave my seat and just hug each and every one of these ladies. Many of these ladies felt defeated. The enemy had come into their lives and stole their joy. So many women are standing. I cannot believe what I was witnessing.

Up until that moment many of these women believed they were the only ones dealing with these feelings. Many of these ladies thought they were alone in this battle they were fighting. Many of these women were hiding and not wanting others to know they are hurting. They portray themselves as a strong woman while they are dying on the inside. Not just physically but spiritually.

The cancer has overtaken their bodies. They do not know if they will beat this horrible invasion that is occurring in their beautiful bodies. They are fearful. They want to believe that God will heal them but oh the doubt that creeps in. They know others have won this battle. They know they can beat this invasion because others have won. BUT will they?

Oh if only these women knew that God cries with them. God sees their tears. He catches each one. He cries alongside them. He hurts just as much as they do. He watches his beautiful daughter fight this battle. Just as a parent hurts for their child, He hurts for them. He grabs their hand, crying, and hurting with them.

Will all these women standing in this arena defeat the invasion within their bodies? Maybe. Maybe not. The speaker begins to pray. I hear sniffles all around. I find myself crying. Tears rolling down my face. I hurt for these beautiful women. I do not know their battle but I hear their cries within this arena. I imagine this is what He hears. His children crying. Hurting. In despair. Oh how He must hurt too.

The prayer is over but their battles are not.

The sniffling has subsided and the roar of cheering women begins to fill this arena. There is a battle within their bodies but they are choosing joy.

They are choosing Him.

Conviction, Confirmation, and Teenagers

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 09 Oct 2014 13:28:00 +0000

When I look back upon my life and think about the different seasons in my life. I come to the conclusion that the teenage years were the hardest. I was part of a blended family where I was trying to find where I fit in, not just in the family but in school as well. I felt pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, and I would find that I would be criticized for who I was. At that time in my life I had no idea who I was or where I will end up. A lot of changes were occurring in my life during the crucial time in my life. Oh why do the teenage years have to be so hard?

Now I am a mother of a teenager. I praise God that my daughter is not growing up the same way I did or facing some of the issues I faced. However, my daughter still faces issues as a teenager. I as a mother sometimes have to put my “mother” feelings aside. In reality, it is my ruffled mama feathers that I have to set aside. I need to teach my daughter the proper way to handle situations. I do not have the answer to every single situation she faces, but I know who does. The best advice I can give to my daughter and to my son is to turn to God.

He has all the answers.

Just recently I had to tell this to my daughter. Oh, my precious, innocent daughter sitting across the table from me with a hurt heart. All I see is my little girl in pain and all I want to do is fix it. My mama feathers are ruffled. I know I cannot fix everything and she has to learn lessons on her own. But oh the relief I would have if I could just allow my tongue to run free. Before I speak I pray for wisdom. I need Him to help me with this because I want the answer to be from Him, not me.

From Him, not the flesh. Not the enemy.

My daughter took a step out of faith and wanted to open a piece of her heart to someone. She wanted to tell this person that even though her parents made a decision based on what God was calling them to do that this person was still important to her. She wanted to tell this person that she prayed they could still have a relationship even though they will not see each other as often. My daughter had a bond with this person of almost three years. There was so much she wanted this person to know. Sadly, it did not go the way she hoped. The phone conversation left her upset and hurting. Now we know the effects this can have on a teenager.

As a mother I had a lot to say about this. Oh how quickly I was ready to attack. My cub was hurt and this mama bear was on the prowl. Then He reminded me of the scriptures in the Book of James. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Okay, Lord I hear You. Slow to anger. Slow to speak. Got it. My daughter says, “Mom, I just wanted to tell them my feelings.” Here is where I failed. I told her to send a text telling the person that she did not finish what she was saying and this was what she wanted to say.

Instantly I felt guilt.

Then I felt conviction.

Then God puts this scripture on my heart, “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”

I have my light bulb moment. Now I truly understand what He is telling me.

I told my daughter that sending the text is not wise. I ask her what James tells us about the tongue. She answers that we are to control our tongues because it can start fires. I tell her yes and all we can do is pray. Pray for God to help her with this situation. Pray for the other person. We have to remember that we do not know how this person feels. Talking with my daughter may cause pain. This person could be hurting just as much as my daughter and talking with her may be too much for them to handle. This person may be offended or hurt and all we can do is pray that God puts understanding in their heart. Praying is the only way to overcome the situation and the feelings both parties are experiencing.

Later on in the evening my daughter and I sat in her room and discussed this situation some more. Again I see my daughter upset, hurt, and on the verge of tears. I feel myself becoming that mama bear again. As quickly as those feelings arise they are squashed. I quote those two scriptures to myself. We continued our talk for a bit.

Then the best thing EVER occurred.

After about 20 minutes of talking with my daughter she walks in my room and I have seen that look before that she has on her face. It could go either way. Good or bad. She hands me her phone and says look at what God did. I read the passage on her phone. This Facebook status that I am reading was posted 16 hours from when I was reading it, but my daughter just saw it. God just allowed her to see this passage. She saw it after this situation occurred. The passage discusses how sometimes we are to close doors because He has something better in store for us. It also discussed how we need to let go of the old things so we can embrace the new that God has placed in our paths.

I was speechless.

Speechless! Do y’all know how huge that is for me to be speechless??!!

He sent her peace, confirmation, and the permission to let go. My daughter needed to hear this. She needed to hear that God has something in store for her. We do not know what or when this will occur but we do know that it gives my daughter peace.

The power of prayer works. Ask and we shall receive. Sometimes receiving does not occur immediately or at all. Receiving is in His time and His timing is always perfect.

The life of a teenager can be difficult but as long as we turn to Him we will crush the enemy

TO HIM IS THE VICTORY!

Him or Others?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 07 Oct 2014 15:30:00 +0000

Every single day in life we have to make decisions. Some decisions are easier to make and some not so easy. Some decisions we make do not affect other people, such as what flavor creamer do you want in your coffee? Or should I eat a sandwich for lunch or have a salad? Then there are some decisions that do affect other people such as changing jobs or making the decision to homeschool your children.

As humans we tend to dwell on what others will think when we make the larger decisions. Me personally, I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and no one to be upset with me. I guess me being a woman may play a part in this but in the end I am a people pleaser. Times have existed where someone will ask me to do something and instead of praying and asking God for an answer I say yes. Yes, because I do not want the other person to be upset with me.

I fail to realize that I need to focus more on what God wants from me rather than people. I need to please Him not people. Sometimes His answer may not be what I want to hear or what others will agree with but He knows what is best for me.

The apostle Paul explains this perfectly in the Book of Acts, 5:29, when he says: “We must obey God rather than men!”

We are here to serve God. We are here to witness to others who do not know Christ. We are to obey God.

Am I doing this when I am more focused on pleasing other people? Am I being obedient to God when I disregard His message to me?

Some decisions we make can cause us to lose friends. Cause friction among family.

Our decision may cause us to become closer with friends or fix an issue within the family.

Either way we are to pray about our decisions. Pray and ask God if the decision we are about to make is pleasing to Him. Yes, our decision may affect others and their feelings toward us. Sometimes the answer may hurt others, which then can hurt our feelings, but we can find peace in His Word.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13