Human+Universe

a return to (the) movies

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:24:00 +0000

the process of watching a movie is challenged tremendously when you are abnormally attracted to a single character, no matter if they're the main focus, or just the supporting cast. the process eventually gets too comfortable when you identify with a character. the medium and liberation of complexities of movie making, when translated into an art house minimalistic marvel is a beautiful product. wash away the colors of materials, construct light created architecture, render nights during day. focus on the face and eyes. play with music as if the music itself builds the image cells. movies are beautiful when made with the right ensemble of life.

[i loved Darren Aronofsky's PI]

the beanstalk

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 17:58:00 +0000

the beanstalk, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

many lessons in growing up, it offers
wishing for many more, for everyone else
another day, spent waiting for rain

rarity of reasons

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:30:00 +0000

daybreak. as we drove along the winding mountain road and the fog played for as long as we wished for. i tried to find connections for those moments, and the past i always loved to look and dream of. life strangles every last breath of history. many chapters have eroded into some heaven locked away with synapses severed.

the decline of reasons. i look back to find my mistakes. i could not solve it for it has happened. solving it would not absolve the future either.

finding reasons. so we were there sitting along the banks of the mighty river, in a distance the thundering fall echoes a deep yet melodious vibration. mingling with the lights of fireflies and sounds of fog brushing and caressing dew drops. around us meadows with blue flowers, and when morning comes it turns white. many reasons are always there, even before events unravel.

the rarity of reasons. for some moments in time we loose every causal link to the past and future. those moments bring no reason, it must have some but it doesn't have to be there. beautiful moments. during this moments of rarity, we just live freely, wandering and wondering about this big bold world. a beautiful colorful tapestry, during every morning and a cool night during every sunset. it comes and it leaves, leaving traces unsatisfactory. when the age ends, we scramble and scrape every existence out there to bring out the sight and sound and smell of lost memories to live it one more season.

seasons, rarity of reasons

eternity shores

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 11:35:00 +0000

they sat there by the shores, looking up at the majestic nebula painted skies. life has led them wandering over many worlds, searching through time and many creations. colonies of humans set forth to every corner of the galaxy building new empires dreaming of everlasting civilizations. future histories written and for time eternity not shared among us, humans. life has found new shores, the heart remain lost. solitude cities bathed by ancient photons in many new solar systems, neon streets connecting pockets of hungry minds. great archeological discoveries litter the galactic museums, given prominence standing among earths greatest treasures. we still marvel this great universe, leaping from one insignificant time point to another. hungry and unsatisfied.

and the question remains, where are they, the ancient gods.

[strange symmetries]

and sometimes

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 09:24:00 +0000

people fall for the same trick, again and again and again...
dont they know the punishment for blindly following the wrong truth is death? and the person using trust as a weapon will have to pay for it for eternity.

there is still one way to end all this. ask for forgiveness and we shall put all behind.

free fall

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:18:00 +0000

free fall, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

flowers are amazing in quantum moments

when they are least aware of their majestic beauty

[/+] do visit the whole gallery @flowers

to live

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:35:00 +0000

there were times when solutions came easy, but at moments like this I think the only way out is the way in-to the soul, to read, write and travel.

lost

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 18:31:00 +0000

after endless hours of trying hard not to get carried away and drawn into the awful criticisms by those close to me, i had to convince myself that i cant really see a direction in front of me. there have been countless times in the past years that i struggled hard to climb up from the rut, from stagnating in this rooms that whoever claims control over me built around me. there have been times and again that i cut off ties, cleaned up the mess and walked on, as always saying to myself that even the sky knows its limits, not the endurance we immerse our souls in.

i have drawn lines and paths and words in the darkness to show that there is a way for anything to happen and everything to be solved. i have been fortunate of all the love in life that everyone who understood me showed me. i have been in the kind eyes of them to see that i needed help, and they took me in to connect the lines to make sure i achieve the many things i aspire to do. i have tried and gave my best, and i am still lost. i cant stand the pain that even after a good many years of doing what i do, taking care, building character and living up to their standards, i am still pushed back like some burned match stick, whos' use are sometimes only witnessed by those who pick them up from the streets from random admiration. what more and what else can i do, i am lost today.

i have thread carefully, i have paid my dues, i have at all times made sure i live up to the trust and care that some good souls have showed me. i gave unparalleled loyalty to all those who lent me a hand, pulled me up. i worked my way up with such force and determination of not wanting them to look bad. it was not for me, it was for everyone else. i did all this to make sure no one dies during my lifetime and leave me alive with a broken soul.

today, i feel the world has left me somewhere that i cant crawl back. i look ahead towards some charted fate knowing this life will go on at its will. i feel the things that will happen, will take its course, as it was determined on some slate. i have no control. i have been drawn in some pages to live till the eventual. i have no control of anything, i have made bad choices, i have begged forgiveness from god. all i want is to change the people close to me so that they can live a good life. in all this circus they continue everyday to live careless, to not see the virtues of what it would be to not live a lonely and painful. they have everything their way and yet they waste away. i only want to see them be grateful for what they are having, what they receive everyday. it pains me to see them waste their able lives, it pains not to be able to influence them of the good that they can live to see in this world. i feel numb to see them rot away. i don't want to give up hope on them, but maybe, a day will come when they are what they wished to be. and i will not be alive to see them and be happy. i am lost and dying in the darkness.

`the days when beautiful thoughts are shared among their friends and family, they don't know the dynamics of how that came to be. i know how it will be tomorrow, when even them brothers will laugh and dismiss me away for after all i have do is not remembered anymore. let it be the time they look back, when im gone to know that i did all i could and they have forgotten to take me in when i needed everyone the most.

to write

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:41:00 +0000

I used to think that to write a blog post, you need to interact and travel and see and experience the world. To find something to describe a unique occurrence, a situation and place. To unravel the beauty of the moment with words which in turn can also be justified with a beautiful image of the moment.

Now I realize the only way to write a blog post resides in finding the Time to write it. And all along, the experience of the moments we wish to describe withers away from words, living only in random memories, and future histories.

[-/] welcome back Miladysa :)

the Internet town

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:15:00 +0000

dogs barking on every street, occasional fires, the homeless, the same music repeating every minute of the day. welcome all to the Internet town.

after a while even the noise of silence gets boring, and sometimes even the blind get perturbed by the immaturity some display of not seeing the obvious.

and in this pile of decomposing human thoughts, the only certainty is that there are still good blogs in some faraway corner of the streets, occasionally.

uravugal thodarkathai

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:34:00 +0000

my take on it,
life is made of never ending stories of finding, living, misplacing and loosing love.

[#] Uravugal Thodarkhatai is a timeless masterpiece by Raja, was telling a friend today that i want this as my death song :) probably the people then would surmise my life accordingly.

pacific crest trail

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 09:16:00 +0000

pct trail, at 8000 feet, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

hiked the pacific crest trail today, its one of the national scenic trails in California. Jim and I started at 7000 feet elevation, the hike is for about 10 miles and the highest point is 8950 feet right before the end. It took me about 6 hours to complete the 10 miles hike, Jim was of course an expert on the trails and ended up about half an hour before me :)

The total length of the PCT is 2650 miles with snow covered mountains during winter, and generally a pleasant and beautiful hiking trails during normal season. Beautiful wildflowers, blue skies and the occasional bears and mountain lions (which we most probably wont ever see during daytime).

was dreaming for so long on doing the Appalachian trails, the PCT is a dream come true, thanks to Jim :)

www.pcta.org/

the walks

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 08:00:00 +0000

i have walked so far, i don't feel like stopping at all
the nomad lives on, in many memories

something from the roads

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:45:00 +0000

returning to the same places a few times in our lifetime makes us brand new. at many times emanating a kind of energy that creates new universes of warmth and familiarity. knowing you belong there, however alien the people be, you know you belong there. let it be for only a second of the lifetime in cosmic perspective. life was there then.

and you sit there at the side of the road looking at them walk by along with time. you look down at their footprints, and all you see is your past walks.

and when the next city comes 10000 miles after, you see a whole new existence. erasing the past days and from the fractured time lines you pick the sharpest shards to carve out new footprints.

you create the paths, you walk on it and it goes on. for the many cities in that million year journey, the many miles in a godless universe. you only see things that brings awe.

writing a thesis on the life of a time traveler.

weird day

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 23:02:00 +0000

woke up at 3 am feeling totally out of place. nightmares again, people offering me jobs, standing at the cashier counter, walking the piers, wtf moments. and all this in my dream! so what actually freaked me out was that when I woke up, all the doors in the room was open, the closet, the bedroom door, etc. no one broke in, but i felt it in my sleep that something was going on in the room. the first thing i did after waking up was to get my laptops and place it on the bed with me. forgetting even to check my passport and wallet...sigh.

im not sure if some ghost has been following me around in this trip, or was it the same one thats been following me a decade now. crazy stuff i tell you. not a moment passes that i feel 'not alone' wherever i go. try figuring that out.

again and again

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:17:00 +0000

i dont know how to explain this reign of confusion. i'm definitely not an organized person when it comes to work. i hoard stuff, emails, notes, letters and even atm receipts, but i really dont know how to keep it all together. organize it. and when this new client came in and started talking about the process, timelines, Scheduling and stuff, it finally dawned upon me that they are more that just big words. i used to brush them aside because everything is streamlined and online nowadays. everything is just there, the tools. i just need to log in, get my work, finish, port it back, invoice and im done. its all there, numbered processes. but then im loosing out of the big picture here. there is no communication with the local environment where the work happens. or if its in another country, there is no serious discussions about usability and target markets and such. all this while i was thinking of the presence and not the commanding position that i should strive to be.

the market is flooded, inundated by wet ears. theyre welcome to come, but then there must be some space for the experienced to do their stuff. hence, to put it all together, the new client comes, and learns the process and immediately wants cheaper people. because they want many brains working on the same thing, to get a well rounded result, rather than one person dictating whats good and not for the market. theyre gonna pay, lets say 2 cents for each person in the process, and then keep 90% of the profit to themselves. for doing what? for getting the customer. how on earth do anyone come up in this kind of market?

[tbc]

small boundaries/ layers of our worlds

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:58:00 +0000

i always wanted to know this, what do you do with your surroundings? rather, what do you do in your surroundings, your city, school, house, even life. do you explore it in tiny circles that grow bigger, maybe like peeling an onion do you slowly peel the layers of your environment and discover many magical things a day at a time. do you do the same at places you travel to, for work or study.

and when the layers end, and the circle's big enough to cover your immediate reach, how do you retrace back the magic, the warmth and security that those past circles provide. its not about finding humans, its about finding certain assurance when we peek into the corner and find a new world. each time.

its a nice feeling :)

so, tell me how do you live your surroundings, your worlds?

new life philosophies

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:57:00 +0000

disregard of life's pain, the moment's destruction of any sanity in this world, disregard of anything, what keeps us going? i guess its work, even in grave problems we only manage to wake up another day because we are indebted with work to others. no man is a boss to any work he does, in my experience no matter how independent we choose to be, there are always people who will criticize, review, dissect and be the new boss of our work. hence, in this whole chaotic, fragmented existence that marks the adult life of many of us, the salvation to a calmer life comes from struggle and sacrifice. and to borrow from orkut; 'Toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other...'. everything's in there, you can make it happen. sometimes it takes some maturity, less fear, an open mind and a clear sky to just make it happen. ill live with this philosophy today.

a few more steps

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:29:00 +0000

this time i got myself to stop advising myself. like the stuff you tell to assure yourself things are right or wrong, on whether its going to be ok and all. nope, that doesn't work in the long run. leaders dont advice themselves. the world never did so too. there is this clean slate every morning for us to walk on, capture, paint, sing to, work on, paste the lives of others. im going to try that from now on.

on other steps; i made a pact with a buddy of mine that if i ever get tired of life or whatever im doing, im just going to backpack and roam the world. its possible, cant make everyone happy all the time. so the best thing is to stay away from the negative ones, and enjoy the prospects of this chaotic world.

believing that humans are just clinging to people because they cant strike out on their own. others are important, but others need to give a hand in fulfilling the meaning of being together. the years to come will be filled in figuring why some are so easy to get along with and why some build walls.

again, life is not a thesis, and everything else for that matter doesn't need an explanation. what needs certain activity is living the space around us. what does living in the present means? does it mean ignoring all else to strive for our own better future. and where does the better future factor in when everyone has left and you need a helping hand. maybe even a few words of encouragement, do you come back then to say you matter, again?

the final steps are for simple things. simple happiness, simple sorrow, simple love and simple life. the simple things in life, in love, in work and in travels. the days and nights, the midnight star. those kind of things. the wandering mind, the struggling heart, the fighting spirit. all of it.

[/-] future retrospective on a few things, on all things.

it was something i really wished for

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:06:00 +0000

when i tried to put everything into perspective, it dawned that if I had not made some stupid moves this would have been a perfect setting for beautiful things. many had come, many had left, those memories. for some I wish never have brushed for they left me to weep on imaginary graves.

in front of my eyes you walked into some distance, then you turned back and returned. my visions are from my dreams. the happiness were only in my dreams, when my eyes stay closed. wasn't it you who made me wake up and achieve those dreams. unknowingly finding tears, in between warm breezes in foreign lands.

like love, those too pass away. withering in the wind, struggling in summers, waning in winter, silent springs and audacious autumns. none so beautiful like the soul you showed me. me only. to know that two people belong together and then to see it break apart and to live the sorrow, mere seasons don't paint absolution for bold dreams of yesterdays.

there was this scape i drew for you. there were mountains in the distance, monsoons from rain forests outside the balcony and when the painting was completed, it drowns even the sound of heavy droplets on still roofs of that beautiful house. built for you and me. and as we walked together into this unending journey, threading, jumping from color to color to see a whole new life awaken.

how i dreamed these pages, how for a year i believed there could be something. how life throws us amazing opportunities, how it brings us amazing people to show the opens doors we frequently ignored. how blissfully ignorant could some minds be to wait for a miracle from the sky, how even that waiting is justified for souls like you to come and show the breaking rays from eternity clouds.

how lovely were you, on that summer day, along the shores of forgotten seas, as you waited for me with faith. how was I to know what words were right and which were wrong. how the minutes became hours and daylight melted away along with the fog. when then night came, and I was still not there, when sanity came and it was too late for me. you left, maybe forever.

it hurts as no one ever understood, no one ever does. for all that had happened in great distances, could have been so much more beautiful from a touch away.

requiem for a life, for love

[#] something random, for a dude who sleeps 3 hours a day, every dream turns amazingly beautiful, amazingly heartbreaking and amazingly weird.

of many things

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:11:00 +0000

something about getting older makes you realize that the world is never in pace with you. provided we have in some ways tried to keep pace with the dynamics of humanity, we might have arrived in/ to the future. but then, try however we might, we are always left behind in this game. the world is either too in front of you tomorrow morning, or have stopped catching up with you.

life is full of heartbreaks, just like how we lost yesterday, how we are loosing today. we simply have to live that many days more.

the beauty of working, is the satisfaction that we are doing something more that not doing anything. the happiness is in watching others be happy and proud for us, at us, about us.

always respect, accept and acknowledge those who try. there are shoes, we can never fit in. then there are false shoes, that never exist. but for those who try, and try, and fail and try with tears and blood, their steps make deep impressions on their experience and ours. appreciate their lives. pull someone up. even if it means stopping for a while.

on being honest. we have choices, and that involves removing people who slow you down, or whom tries to stop you. these people are not honest about their lives, nor will they ever be about ours. dont waste time on them. just leave them. if your move is clear, you would know who to leave, who not to. after all, there are only so many tomorrows, and only a lifetime to live and celebrate.

~of love. never give up :)

mj, 2

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:09:00 +0000

there will never be a closure, we waited for a comeback. and now, he never will.

mj

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:19:00 +0000

rip. king. mj.

this transformers movie

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:43:00 +0000

if you're a fan, go watch it. if you're a fan from the start of the cartoon many years ago, go watch it and I hope you don't come out cursing. if you're a sucker for mindless actions movies from Michael Bay, go watch. go with 'no hope', no expectations. this is a 2.5 hours advertisement for the now dead GM and the US Army. it has the worst acting possible ever for a summer movie this year because it has that 'Shia LaBeouf' dude in it. I felt, after watching this, that Terminator 4 was a decent movie.

my take: total crap. but who cares.

girl from chennai

humanuniverse@gmail.com (Ghost Particle) — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 20:44:00 +0000

wishing you a happy married life :)

[/] girl from chennai