SweatItOut

Blue Jean Baby

2012-08-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

This weekend was - in a word - FAN-F*#$ING-TABULOUS. So grab your coffee, lean back, kick your feet up, and listen. Because I wanna tell you aaaaalllll about it.

Size FOUR.

First up - didn't workout once. Sorry...didn't mean to make you spit out your coffee in shock. But it's true! Normally, not a reason for fantabulousness. And I should rectify that statement by saying I had no formal workout. I did, however, walk my lil' butt off. Literally. As Hubby and I perused the Gettysburg Outlets, I walked that lil' butt right into a pair of size four jeans. I never thought these hips or quads would see the day! But I was walking right out of the 6's I had on, so I figured I'd make the attempt. Left the store with spankin' new skinny jeans AND trousers. BOTH 4's. And all this after a month of that nasty scale not budging. So once again, I am proven RIGHT. Screw the scale! Use the jeans!

And now I'm extra energized for my back-to-back workouts today (Insanity and an easy run). My legs feel strong, my lungs feel ready, and my enthusiasm is obnoxiously high. Sometimes, I need a break to remind me just how much I love what I do.

Mine at last!

Second - Hubby surprised me with a chinup bar AND Selectech dumbbells!!!! Now, of course we left on our mini-vacay before I had the chance to use either piece of equipment. And of course nothing in my training currently necessitates either piece of equipment. But I cannot keep my sweaty paws off of 'em so I see a lifting session in my very near future (translation: Babe's naptime). I've been dreaming lustily of this since I helped Hubby carry the weights inside on Friday. Today, my dreams reach fruition. *blissfulsigh*

LOVE!

Third - I discovered our favorite restaurant in Gettysburg (Gettysburg Eddie's) has added a vegetarian menu! I was not relegated to pale lettuce leaves and lemon water! Instead, I feasted on portabella, roasted red peppers, and an incredibly vibrant salad. My drool is making the keyboard kind of slippery...My only regret nutrition-wise while we were out and about? Nary a blender in sight so no Shakeology for TWO DAYS! And I forgot to take my vitamins along, so I was feeling mildly sluggish by the time we returned to the M&M Estate last evening. Today, however, all is good and back on track. Shakeology has been consumed and Mama is on the verge of a workout. Things are back to healthy!

Last (but not nearly least) - I handed out copies of my book to my sisters and my mom. Autographed and everything! There's something about a book that just feels good in my soul. Those are my words and my ideas between those covers...and that's my name on the front cover. My bucket list would be shorter if I wasn't constantly adding new goals to replace those accomplished.

It's good for your FitLife AND your soul.

Great weekend. But it's over...and now we're movin' into a new week, a new school year, and a new challenge group. Just because I've had an awesome three days, don't expect me to slow down and become a slug. I've got plenty of awesome to keep going.

Can I Get A WootWoot?

2012-08-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

Let's take a moment to truly appreciate just how far I have come, shall we? A moment to reflect on the changes and triumphs of the last year, a nod to my goals reached and accomplishments made. Because, well..freakin' BOOYAH, BABY! I've busted out of so many ruts the path ahead is all smooth now.

Last summer, I was wearing a body covering black bathing suit (we all know the benefits of black), the skirt very thoughtfully covering my thighs. This summer? BAM. That's a leopard print bikini, and it's one of FOUR bikinis I sported all summer long. I have actual abs now and I really want everyone to get a good look at 'em. On particularly good days, I find myself looking for an excuse to run errands in workout gear so strangers can be motivated by my gloriousness as well.

Last summer, I started running and completed my first half marathon, donned in a long running skirt and tank top. This summer, I emerged from a winter of beastly training and ran my first full marathon, donned in a sports bra and mini running skirt. This summer, I completed my first Spartan Race and jumped over fire. Last summer, I used walk/run intervals to train for my race. This summer, I am simply running as I train for the Runner's World Half Marathon and Festival. (You may want to put on some sunglasses; my awesomeness is getting kinda blinding.)

Last summer, I was smack in the middle of TurboFire and it was the hardest workout I had ever managed to do. This summer, I'm smack in the middle of Insanity and it IS the hardest workout I have ever done. But I'm doing it and getting in even BETTER shape. Traffic may stop by the time next summer rolls around...

Last summer, I was just beginning my road to a FitLife. This summer, I am firmly entrenched and helping others as they begin wading in the SweatItOut pool. I am running challenge groups, maintaining a business, and self-publishing a book. I am on the road to certifications so I can get back to personal training and instructing. I am headed towards even greater heights of awesomeness. And the good news is - I'm taking YOU with me.

All you gotta do is decide, commit, and succeed. Three simple words. The first two can be rough...but that last one is so terrifically sweet. Trust me. I know from personal experience.

To The Max

2012-08-21T07:47:00.002-04:00

After a simply lovely recovery week with Insanity, I entered month two feeling strong and relaxed. For about 30 seconds. My intense love of Shaun T nearly spiraled into a dark hatred, that spiral being full of curses, tears, and copious amounts of salty sweat. Then I remembered, oh right...It was I that chose to do this. I'm doing this to myself.

And I dug deeper.

It sucked big balls, I ain't gonna lie. I hurt. I did not feel strong or badass or powerful. I felt like the last kid picked for dodge ball and I wanted to curl into a little ball with some mint chocolate chip ice cream and watch Designing Women reruns. But I didn't. I stood tall when I could muster the strength to do so and pushed right through that workout. And once it was over, it didn't seem so bad.

Then today, I did the next one. SWEET MOTHER OF GOD. I must continually remind myself that this feeling right here, this is what week one felt like. And then week two was better. Never easier, mind you. Never easier, just better. You will only understand if you are also doing or have done an intense workout - Insanity, CrossFit, TapOutX, or the like. (And yes, I want to try the other two as well.)

Now, I get those last few paragraphs are not exactly what we in the biz call "selling points." So let me show you some of the "pros."

1. I am stronger than I have ever been. I did freakin' BALANCE PUSHUPS today. Ten of 'em.

2. I am in the best cardio shape I have been in. Running is pretty easy now, and I'm faster too. Popped in TurboFire Fire 55 EZ the other day - still a great and fun workout, still love it - BUT...not the absolute killer it used to me. Not even with my weighted gloves.

3. I am getting clear cut results. As in, my muscles are cutting through my skin. My arms, when relaxed, now look the way they used to look flexed. Take that, First Lady Obama.

4. I just plain feel great. I take a lot of pride in completing these workouts and doing more and more of them every week. It's the toughest thing I've set out to do thus far and I'm doing it. That kinda spills over into non-workout life as well. More steps have been taken towards teaching and training. I self-published my first collection of posts from this lil' ol' blog. My business is growing steadily. Because my body is functioning better, my head is clearer, I have more energy and drive and focus...if you can believe that it was possible to have more.

I'm not saying Insanity is the program for everybody. But I bet it is the program for more than you think. That's right - YOU. What are YOU doing today? Wanna get crazy with me?

Yesterday You Said Tomorrow

2012-08-17T11:44:00.000-04:00

"Tomorrow is another day." - Scarlett O'Hara

"The sun'll come out tomorrow." - Annie

“Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.”
- James T. McCay

Tomorrow. I hear that word so frequently it's nearly lost all meaning. When I actually use it, it's a word full of anticipation. Here are a few examples:

Tomorrow, I am expecting copies of my book to arrive.
Tomorrow, my order of Brazil Butt Lift will be one day closer.
Tomorrow, I have a long run scheduled outside.

See how fabulous tomorrow can be - if you're actually going to utilize the day? Too often, people use tomorrow as an excuse to make today lackluster. As though promising a workout tomorrow makes them healthier today. Guess what? It doesn't work that way. The results that you're looking for only actual occur if you DO THE WORK.

And yes, I get that it's not all fun and games in the beginning. The beginning is HARD. The beginning is TOUGH. It's all about the front of the mullet - business. But if you wanna get that party in the back, ya gotta work through it. And trust me - there is a party in the back. And it's fun, and it's filled with fantabulously gorgeous people, and it's where all the cool kids are hanging out - and living longer, fuller lives. Because, seriously - you can't live your life to the fullest if you're dragging around even 20 extra pounds. You can't live life to the fullest if you're thin but have no strength. When walking up the stairs is enough to take your breath away, that's not the best you can do. If you're tired after carting the groceries in from the car, that's not the best you can do. It's the bare minimum, and you'll get far fewer years out of the bare minimum.

Hard truth: if you're inactive and scarfing grease-covered potatoes, you are doing yourself and your body an injustice. This isn't about being thin or looking a certain way. This is about your HEALTH. I don't care if you're skinny or if you're fat - if you're not taking care of your body, you're at risk for a whole list of nasty, icky stuff. And if you're a parent - shame on you. What do you want for your kids? Would you hand your child a cigarette? Alcohol? Poison? Then WHY for the love all that is holy would you stuff 'em full of chemicals, dyes, and hormones????

And before you roll your eyes and call me a "health nut"...I get the need for treats. I get the need for a day off now and again. It's all about moderation, but come on. Moderation does not mean eating something unhealthful on a daily basis. It's not having a side salad followed by fried chicken and gravy. It's about recognizing how much good stuff is required to outweigh the bad stuff. It's more than you want to deal with, I'm sure...but too freakin' bad.

Now, let's have a fun truth: If you start today and keep at it for just three weeks, it becomes a habit. Stick with it another three weeks, and it becomes a lifestyle. You stop exercising because you have to and start sweatin' because you want to. You stop craving chocolate and start craving vegetables. You stop being tired and start feeling energetic. You will participate in life in ways you never contemplated or even realized you weren't participating before. That's right about the time you send me a message on Facebook, or email me, or text me - and say "Hey, thanks! I am kicking ass like nobody's business! You were right about all that healthy shit!" And I humbly give you all the credit (because it was YOU who did the work, after all) and tell you to KEEP GOING.

Because even if you've taken care of today, tomorrow is still all like "What about me ova heah?" (Tomorrow has a New York accent, just in case you were wondering.)

Yearn to Learn

2012-08-16T13:18:00.000-04:00

I'm teacher AND student - so I get the apple.

I am always learning, and my favorite things to learn are things about - you guessed it - myself. Here is what I'm learning this week:

1. Insanity has kicked my cardio capabilities into another hemisphere. I began training for my half-marathon/5k/10k combo scheduled for October, and - miracle of miracles - I no longer need those pesky walking intervals. I can just run. Now, I may add in the the walks when I increase my time and mileage simply for fear of injury - but they'll be few and far between (and weeded out as soon as possible), but for right now, my sports bra is near bustin' with pride. (It has very little else to bust with these days.)

2. My heart rate may get all kinds o' jacked up while pushing through Insanity or a speedy run interval, but it drops right back down the way a healthy person's would. I no longer need long cooldowns to return my heart rate to its resting rate; it gets there lickity split all on its own. Stop yammering! I still cool down and stretch because I like it and it's good for my pretty muscles. I'm just sayin' that before, I would still be huffin' and puffin' like the Big Bad Wolf after some bacon. Now, I'm just as serene as the brick-layin' pig. (But much leaner.)

Mine is working just dandy, thanks.

3. I can make my goals happen all on my own, even if they aren't fitness-related. I wanted to be an author; yesterday I made it so. Thank you to createspace.com and their helpful step-by-step into the world of self-publishing. Now, you can take me to bed with you! I will post links to buy the physical copy of SweatItOut: My Journey From CouchSpud to FitGal as soon as everything is a go. For now, you can find me on Kindle by searching "SweatItOut."

4. My love of fitness is spreading, and it's spreading because of me. The Werewolf is doing yoga all on his own and loving it. He's namaste-in' with Rodney Yee two or three times a week and becoming more and more intent on maintaining his focus - so "please be QUIET, Mom and Sissy." This makes me incredibly happy and even bustier with pride (well, maybe not bustier, but a gal can always dream). This weekend we will be shopping for yoga supplies so he can try out some backbends.

The Werewolf's yoga partner

5. Exercise is the key component to my productivity. Days that I don't work out, I don't do much else either. I allow myself to slump in front of the computer, the television, my iPhone. My energy piques around 1:00 pm. I begin getting cranky around 4:00. Days that I do work out, my chores are done by noon, I'm chipper and ready to get outta the house by 1:00, and the kids typically follow by 2:00. (I wait for them, of course....no matter how tempted I may be for a solo trip.) Nutrition - the same! When I take my supplements (added in a B-Complex to support my Iron) and eat well, my body thanks me with energy and good moods. Why mess with it? Sloth and gluttony just aren't my sins.

Those are all pretty kick ass new things about me. But know what's better? Next week, I'm gonna find out something else. Fact is, I just get better on a daily basis. So try to keep up, would ya?

Once A Runner...

2012-08-13T08:47:00.000-04:00

Get ready, Readers. Today marks the first day of Trifecta Training and as such, the first of many posts regarding my incredible gains as a runner. If you're a runner, you're bound to find my itty bitty increment improvements interesting (notice the alliteration? I'm good.). If you're not a runner...you should be. It's awesome. It's addicting. And you have the added bonus of being able to race with me, because I am dying for some running buddies!

What exactly am I training for, you ask? The Runner's World Half Marathon and Festival in October, right in Bethlehem! (I say "right in" because it takes me less than hour to get there, and when you live in a town without even a grocery store, that's "right in.") They are offering not one, not two, but THREE RACES! Now, of course you can sign up for just one or two...but that just seems like something I would not do...So I'm doing all three! Saturday it's the 5k followed by the 10k and Sunday it's the half. I am looking to bust my Rock N' Roll Half time (2:37) and really don't think I'll have a problem.

I took an easy 20-minute treadmill run today, increasing incline to decrease boredom (I am more of an outside runner, but the treadmill is fab for days I can't get outside) and was impressed with myself. I know, never happens, right? Today it DID. I didn't feel the need for a walk break at all. This may sound like a small step to you, but it's a giant leap for me. That Shaun T has turned this runner into a cardio MACHINE. I had to repeatedly remind myself that today's schedule called for an easy run and it's perfectly okay to not want to keel over. Add in that I'm technically in recovery week with Insanity and today felt pretty restful. (Except that all of my challenge groups are participating in a low-to-high plank hourly challenge - 10 an hour - and I'm setting an example by doing it too...)

Rock N Roll

Anyway - I kept a 5.0 mph pace for my easy run. Not Speedy Gonzales, but not Me From Last Summer either. Not even Me From This Past Winter. That used to be my top speed, not my easy peasy lemon squeezy pace. I just busted through ANOTHER wall. Thank you for your applause, but really - the roses aren't necessary. (I prefer crowns and tiaras.)

The best part of today, though - feeling like ME. The iron levels seem to be evening out - or maybe it's just the return to running. I love it. It totally gets me high on endorphins. I can't wait for my outdoor early morning run tomorrow. And I promise - I will remember every detail of every step my little Ghosts take (although they will soon be traded in and take their place on the closet floor next to my Frees, as their tread is all gone)...because I know you'll be waiting and anticipating, wondering and worrying. Fear not, dear Readers! We, friends, are BACK ON TRACK.

And you're running with me, right? Oh YAY!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Pounds

2012-08-11T12:39:00.001-04:00

I still step on the scale nearly every morning. Call it curiousity, call it habit. I sometimes still feel that initial prick of irritation at the numbers' refusal to lower, but it's pretty easy to kick that downer to the curb. And this is what I always want to tell people when they start their own fitness journeys. STEP AWAY FROM THE SCALE. Picture me holding a tape measure instead of a badge and a camera instead of a gun. Because really, those are far better measures of progress.

Depending on your starting point, yes, I get it. Pounds can be pretty important and an easy tracker. They were for me, too. I dropped over ten pounds in my first round of TurboFire. Even better, I dropped from maternity clothes to a size 8. Even better, my arms went from flab to FAB. Even BETTER, I went from schlepping through life to racing through my goals.

Which is good, because those numbers on the scale stopped dropping midway through ChaLEAN Extreme. I got angry, frustrated. Then I realized I was in a size 6. Muscles were forming and they just take up less room than fat. A pound of muscle weighs the same as a pound of fat - it just looks a hell of lot sexier and fits into far cuter clothing. True story.

It's an ongoing battle with me - what is actually happening versus what I thought when I was younger and far less knowledgable (and also certain that I was immortal). I was always concerned with poundage and convinced that was the ultimate key in what I was trying to achieve. But I was also convinced that tanning was a "healthy look" and cigarettes had no effect on my skin, let alone the rest of my carcinogen-racked body. Oh, to be young and stupid...No thanks.

Luckily, my brain has settled into FitLife Truths and only requires a spanking every now and again. I still have those moments of basking in the sun and thinking "I could get some good color today" before I give myself a little mental ear pulling and admonishing. And I still have those moments when I read the numbers on the scale and put one foot over the edge of the Grand Panic Canyon. You know that canyon; it's filled with things like the Atkins Diet, Thighmasters, and ShakeWeights. I don't sightsee there anymore, though. Which is good, because I'd be a fat and miserable bitch.

Me, 1/17/12

Me, 7/31/12

In my not-even-close-to-humble opinion, the two best ways to track your ACTUAL progress are photos in which you wear as little clothing as possible while still being able to share them with others and monitoring how you feel. I am a HUGE proponent of the Before&After Pics. They grant you amazing bragging rights and help keep you in check when you wanna go into that ScaleRemainsTheSame tailspin.

Now the other - how you feel - is incredibly subjective, isn't it? But let me share this incredibly fascinating tidbit with you: I can bust through Insanity workouts in ways I couldn't just weeks ago. No lie. When I began this program, I wanted to vomit and had to take breaks with nearly every move. The first time I did Pure Cardio and realized there are NO SCHEDULED BREAKS I thought I might die in a puddle of my own sweat and tears.

Today, I did EVERY SINGLE MOVE. And I did the majority of them without ANY BREAK AT ALL. Now that, friends, is progress. Slice it any way you want, I am stronger today than I was four weeks ago. I am stronger today than I was YESTERDAY. Who the fuck cares how much I weigh? Not this FitGal. And if you do, I double dog dare you to tell me...

So yes, I'll grant you the pounds lost when you're just starting out. But when the plateau hits - and it will - I will not pat your back or hand you a Kleenex. I will roll my eyes and tell you to grab the tape measure, go shopping and try on a new size, and for the love of all that is sweaty (mmmm...Shaun T's chest....what were we talking about again?) - TAKE A PICTURE. It's worth a thousand pounds.

Me, Myself, and I(ron)

2012-08-08T15:13:00.000-04:00

Ah, anemia...just when I forget all about you, there you are, tugging at my ankles and weighing them down, laying your weight across my quads and my biceps, turning my shoulders and neck to lead. I loathe you...

It's one of those on-again, off-again relationships, and I am so much happier and so much more me when it's off again. I've been pretty religious about taking my iron supplements and eating more spinach than Popeye could fit in both biceps, but the last few days have seen me sliding ever-so-ungracefully out from beneath the covers and lurching through my day. I wish I could say through my workouts, but today was my first sweat session in three days. Just in case you're unaware, that's kind of unheard of around these parts. This is a gal who likes to get her sweat on.

My plan had been to readjust to those pre-dawn workouts, pretty much my only guaranteed time to be all alone with Shaun T or grab an outdoor run. My alarm goes off each day at 5:45; I immediately shut it off and commence staring at the ceiling, checking my Facebook notifications, and catching up on all those missed late-night talk shows I can no longer stay awake to watch. I ponder reaching to my left and mixing my E&E to garner the required energy to simply start my day. But it's too much most days. And so I feel sad, a tad guilty, and still exhausted.

The amount of sleep just doesn't matter. I can sleep a little; I can sleep a lot. I have become the Goldilocks of sleeping, but I still haven't found the "just right" amount when anemia slithers into bed. If you've dealt with low iron, you know the feeling. If you haven't, you're probably thinking, "She's just lazy." And you can go right ahead and slap yourself in your smug little face, seeing as how my arm is too weary for me to do it. This gal, right here, ain't lazy. When it comes to putting laundry away (I have a strong aversion to returning anything to its rightful place) or retrieving the mail (all the way across the street? Why can't they just put it on my porch?), perhaps a tad. But when we're talkin' workouts, running, lifting, sweating...I am anything BUT. In fact, I push myself to make these sessions as tough as possible. I live for this crap. So anemia really pisses me the f#$k off.

Which is why today I forced myself to mix and drink that E&E and push through Cardio Power and Resistance. I am so freaking amazing. Not only did I manage to get through it, but I got through it with very few modifications. I was a tad slower than usual, but I managed to eke out every move with proper form. That's pretty balls-to-the-wall awesome, and I thank you for realizing that. Could I have done it without E&E? I really don't think so. A slow walk would have been more my speed. But with the E&E, anemia was my BITCH.

So I vow that tomorrow morning, I will drink sooner and save Colbert, Stewart, and Handler for laundry sorting time (that's when I cart the clean clothes to my bedroom, spread them over my bed, and then sit down and watch tv and marvel at how quickly I have run out of time to actually sort the laundry). That just leaves the question...who's workin' out with me tomorrow morning????

Maintaining the Temple

2012-08-07T10:40:00.002-04:00

If only...

So we've covered workouts, nutrition, and sleep (or incredible lack thereof). Now let's talk about DOCTORS.

You kinda need a whole team of them to keep the body tickin' and your health in check, but I prefer to think of my various doctors as my entourage, their white coats blowing back as they walk slow motion toward me, clipboards in hand, crocs ready for some asskicking if that's what's necessary to keep my temple fit. Although actually, my OBGYN wears some killer heels. That lady's got serious style, which is nice because I'd prefer to focus on her fabulous leopard print stillettos than what's actually happening on that table.

I've been linin' up the appointments and knockin' 'em down, just like my goals. Yes, I know they can be a pain the scheduling ass, whether you're concerned with missed office time or finding a place to stow several unruly children. But you know you have to do it. In the past month I have visited the following:

Someday, this will be my corneal flap.

My eye doctor. I love him unnaturally. He takes care of my peepers and also chats with me about my running while firmly reminding me that I am not meant to sleep in my contacts and threatening me with glasses. (You may not have guessed it, but I am quite vain. I don't like glasses and I am convinced they don't like me either.) What does this appointment have to do with fitness, aside from the obvious?

Well, I detest wearing glasses during any sweaty activity. They slip, they slide, they hinder my wiping-away-of-the-sweat. Also, if I am wearing glasses, that likely means I've got an eye infection of some sort. Which means my eye(s) hurt. Which means I'm cranky (and when you add in the irritation of being a four-eyed mama, the situation is not good for anyone in the vicinity). So take care of your eyes, be they 20/20 blessings from the gods or bespectacled little windows to your soul. I am being extra special vigilant, as I am planning for LASIK within the next year. Cross all your fingers and toes for me, even the little ones. I long to join the non-corrective-lense-wearing crowd. I heard that's where the cool kids are.

Next on my list? The gynocologist. WARNING! FEMALE TALK ALERT! I may use terms like "period" or "tampon" in the near future, so you men may want to avert your eyes. This is my least my absolute favorite appointment all rolled into one. I hate the actual procedures, but I do so adore my doctor. She is witty, sarcastic, and as previously stated, has great shoes. Never seen the same pair twice. We discussed my incredible fitness level, how awesome I am for completing my first marathon and Spartan race, and how absolutely adorable my children are (she really gets me). Then we discussed Hunter S. Thompson (I was reading Gonzo while waiting) and hey - all done! Time flies when you've got great convo, even when wearing nothing but a paper gown with your knees next to your ears. Check that off the list till next year!

Now THAT's a pillow.

Yesterday was my very first visit to the dermatologist. As a transparently skinned person, I should have been going long before now just for checkups. Skin cancer is rather serious business and I've got the pale skin worth worrying about. But I waited until I had an issue - a small little painful something-or-other on my left ear that just wouldn't heal up and go away...for a year. Naturally, about a month ago I read an article on skin cancer in Oxygen magazine and began tweaking out. Yesterday, as I chased the babe around the waiting room I got choked up imagining a time I wouldn't be able to extricate him from the other families he continually tried to join (I suppose we have lost our luster), and by the time the doctor walked into the exam room I was ready for the worst.

I sleep on my left ear too much. I need to stop that. True story. A special pillow with an ear hole will be necessary if I can't sleep on my right side or my back. Shot of cortisone and a follow up appointment in six weeks to be sure that I am, indeed, not sleeping on my left side is also required.

Neither attractive nor fit.

HOWEVER - I did learn my lesson. I have upped my sunblock and banished those inane voices from my youth that refuse to accept that tanning is bad and awful and unnecessary. And I will be adding in an overall skin checkup to my yearly arsenal of appointments.

All that's left is the podiatrist (my runner's feet need a bit of shock treatment before I subject them to distance training again), the regular ol' family doc, and (yes, that is fear entering my nearsighted eyes) the dentist. I am overdue for a routine physical (and feeling quite cocky about it. I mean, come on.) and for my biyearly cleaning (a FitGal's gotta have sparkle in her smile). But I'm going to make those appointments because I'm all about being a well rounded (and firmly muscled) FitGal. I wouldn't skimp on my children's healthcare, and I have recently come to realize that my care is equally important.

Plus, each appointment garners me at least an hour or two of uninterrupted reading, Facebook, or Zynga time. Stick a nonalcoholic frozen pina colada in my hand and that's a vacation right there.

Bring Me A Dream...

2012-08-06T13:24:00.002-04:00

I workout. I eat (mostly) right. I slather on my sunblock, buckle my seatbelt, and take the occasional mental health day far from people under voting age. I'm an all-around, even keel kinda FitGal.

Except for sleeping.

I should be doing it right now. Yes, I am perfectly aware that it is bright and sunshiny and lunchtime. It's also the babe's naptime; we were at HersheyPark all day yesterday; we did not arrive home until after midnight and I did not crash into slumber until after 2 a.m. Oh - and that precious, darling, oh-so-bushytailed little bundle of JOY was up at 7:30. It sucked, but I was already planning on catching up at naptime.

So what the hell is my problem, you ask? I don't even freakin' know. I have been drooling over this naptime all morning. Chores have gotten about as much attention as the latest rerun of Yes, Dear and I even bypassed my usual morning coffee for fear the caffeine would hinder my shut-eye abilities. I fed one kid Kashi GoLean with rice milk and the other Jolly Ranchers. I ate two Doritos and a whole wheat cranberry bagel with peanut butter (so not a good combo). I was - and still am - exhausted.

I had it all set...the babe is napping in my bed, because he takes longer naps there. I've got a good five previously viewed episodes of Cajun Justice all queued up, because there's something about that show that both interests and soothes me. (Only The Golden Girls and Everybody Loves Raymond can compete for lullabies.) The iPhone is set to silent and plugged into the dock. The older monkeys are quietly absorbed in Barbies and Legos. Just typing this makes my eyelids droop and my mouth drop open in a yawn.

Then I snuggle in next to the babe and my mind says things like, "Hey, did you let the dogs out? How was that workout you didn't do? Don't forget - you have a doctor's appointment this afternoon at an office you've never visited, you have to talk all three kids along, and you typically run late. Better not oversleep."

My mind is a bitch. I tried reading. I tried Words With Friends. I tried imagining doing laundry and the dishes. (Sometimes, just thinking about the energy required to do household chores has a Benadryl-like effect on my body.) But my mind won't quit.

And - I know I'm not alone here - I am always skimping on the sleep. There is always one more chore to do, a few more minutes of a rescheduled workout to sweat through, one more chapter to read, one more episode to watch. It seems women particularly are hardwired to keep pushing through, no matter the detriment to our bodies. And here's the breakdown:

Lack of sleep can lead to an increased chance of heart disease/attack/failure, irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure, stroke, and diabetes. It can slaughter your sex drive, make you look old, and deplete any remaining intelligence your children haven't already stolen. Know what else? Makes you fat.

So all those late night workouts to make up for the missed morning sessions? All those extra few moments preparing the next day's healthy meals traded for a few more moments of sleep? Gonna be all for naught if you never actually SLEEP. Plus, think about your eating habits when you're tired. Might I remind you of my Dorito and bagel coupling mentioned above? Point made.

So for the love of all that is Fit and Holy - GET SOME FREAKIN' SLEEP. Figure out how to shut that nagging crone up (refraining from making sarcastic remarks about anyone I actually know because of course I'm simply referring to that inner voice...) and start making regular appearances in Dreamland, Neverland, WhereEVERland...Just close your eyes and snore. Well, maybe not snore because that can be a sign of all sorts of issues, too. But I'm too tired to write about those right now.

Oh - and might I add that lack of sleep turns this Queen into more of a Wicked Witch? My family will attest to that. They'll attest quickly and adamently and repeatedly. We have all learned from past tirades and meltdowns - mine, not the children's - that I must issue the warning of "I am hungry and/or tired" in a relatively calm yet firm tone and that this warning must be immediately followed by everyone kissing my ass and providing me with food and/or a pillow. Even FitGals run into walls from time to time; the key is allowing yourself to slide back down instead of rallying to climb over.

Trust me. There will be more walls tomorrow.

My Bucket Runneth Over

2012-08-03T08:48:00.000-04:00

Everyone's always talking, pinning, writing about their Bucket Lists. I think I even made one myself after I saw the movie, but can't remember much of what went on it. I vaguely recall returns to skydiving, New Orleans, and Savannah - but there had to be more to it than that, right? I mean, where's the marathons? The mud races? OH, RIGHT. That was way back before my FitLife. Looks like it's time for a revamp.

So what's my Bucket List look like now? Full to overflowing, I'd say.

1. Complete the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in DisneyWorld, dressed in full costume. Because I love that little smartass fairy.
2. Complete the ToughMudder and the Spartan without doing any burpees, because I hate those little smartass moves.
3. Try my hand at freelancing, because people love reading my smartass blog posts.
4. Get my certifications in order and create a fitness empire. (I'm done with the smartass theme now.)
5. Turn Hubby into a fitness-lovin' machine. I know he's got it in him somewhere.
6. Run a 5k with my kids. Not stroll through downtown Philly or Bethlehem, but actually run. Without complaints. Or whining. Okay, this may be the most difficult item to cross off my list.
7. Go white water rafting.
8. Learn to ski properly and perhaps even give snowboarding a go.
9. Take some fitness classes - hot yoga, martial arts, you name it, I wanna do it.
10. Corral these lovely little posts into coherent essays and put 'em in a book.

And that's just a TASTE of my goals. I sat down to write this list and thought, "What would I try if I knew I couldn't fail?" Here's ten things. And every one of 'em gets my blood pumpin' and my adrenal glands goin'. Why? Because they all involve some form of fitness - whether its mental or physical. A year ago, I wouldn't have imagined I would be able to do the things I now do on a daily basis. So I'm learning that there's no reason to limit myself. What fun are limitations anyway?

The down-and-dirty of it is a simple daily to-do list. Pick one of these, break it down into little itty bitty goals, and suddenly - the scary is not to be found. The impossible has turned into I AM POSSIBLE. (Would you like some cheese on your blog today? Why, yes, thank you!) Sometimes, the focus is lacking. I'm the first to admit day-to-day can muscle in on the lofty dreams of even this most dedicated FitGal. I can blame the kids, the pets, the anemia, the house...but really, at the center of the blame game, it's just me. I choose how to allot the majority of my time (some things can't be helped, like ER trips for splinters in a werewolf's butt - true and funny story, but for another time). So if my dreams aren't getting closer, that's on me.

I started this blog back in February, I believe. That first post was frightening. Putting it out there with the assumption that people would want to read anything I wrote seemed cocky, plus what if it wasn't good, wasn't entertaining? I know. I'm laughing at my February Self, too. OF COURSE it was good. OF COURSE it was entertaining. That's why we're still here together, right? Because I just get wittier and more motivating EVERY SINGLE DAY. What's my point, you ask? (As if I needed one. It's my blog, after all. Sheesh.) My point is this: you forge past the intimidating and accomplish one goal, suddenly the others don't seem so far out of reach. In fact, they downright look like nosy next-door neighbors peering in your front windows, they're so close.

Invite 'em in, take the scary out. They may be crazy, sure, but that's half the fun. And I so don't want to be lying on my bed at age 99 wondering what else I could have done. I want to be too busy pushing through to notice that my face was just plastered on the Morning Show for making it 100.

Tooting My Own Horn

2012-08-02T12:04:00.000-04:00

Let me set the stage for you.

I was feeling ravenous from all those crazy Insanity workouts. The kids were in bed, so I could eat whatever I chose without having to hide in a dark closet somewhere for fear of sharing. (Don't act like you haven't learned to open candy wrappers with nary a crinkle.) There were even full-sized Hershey bars sitting in the freezer (had to replenish the previously depleted supply).

I chose salad. And it was good.

Fer realz, yo. Dead serious. I couldn't get enough of those dark leafy greens, those crunchy organic carrots and red bell peppers, coated ever-so-lightly with Wegmans Traditional Italian dressing. Just typing this, I swear to the gods of all that is fit, my mouth is watering. For a freakin' salad. And not a taco salad or a bowl of greens topped with ranch dressing and fried chicken strips. Just a bowlful of that organic spring mix and various veggies chopped into bitesize pieces. The cool crispness of it, the simple flavors! How did this become more appealing than (dare I say it?!?) chocolate cake????

I have not a freakin' clue. I just don't know. The switch flipped AGAIN. How many switches can one FitGal possibly have? First the workout switch. Then the Shakeology switch and the vegetarian switch and the nonalcoholic switch. Now a salad-over-junk-food switch??? Sometimes, I just have to shake my head in wonderment at how far I've come and how much my awesomeness increases every day.

I was just describing this very scenario in a message with a friend who is on her own fitness journey. She was, in her own words, "tooting her own horn" but then almost apologizing for doing so, perhaps, I believe, worried I may find her boastful. Um...hello? I reminded her that she was indeed speaking the Master Tooter, the Queen of Tooting, the Tooter of all Tooters...and so no need to backtrack on her own toots.

And yes, I found the irony and the humor in the language used, which is why you're reading about it now. I get it. Toot = fart. And because I possess the humor level of a six-year-old, that is freakin' hysterical. Especially because I have cleared rooms lately with all the veggie intake. My apologies are extended if I don't get a handle on all these new gastrointestinal shenanigans before I see you out in public...but hey, it's just the result of some good ol' fashioned healthy eatin'! Join me! The old song is true: the more ya toot, the better ya feel. It's my mantra for the time being anyway.

And it's bound to get worse, because I gotta add in some more beans to make up for the protein I'm not getting from meat. I'm back on dairy for now, until I sit down and research that part too. Mainly because I just feel better when I don't eat dairy, but right now, it's a convenient source of protein for me. But the beans are still necessary, and I really do love 'em. They fill me up, give me energy, and - most importantly - they're quite delicious...and good for your heart...*snort*chuckle*snort*

So I ain't ashamed to toot my horn. Which is good, because sometimes, I just can't help myself, no matter how hard I may try. Consider this fair warning: meet me outdoors and stand downwind until my body adapts to the new diet. It'll adapt, just like my tastebuds adapted. Till then, I'll consider it a trumpet of triumph over my previous malnourished ways.

Do More, Indeed.

2012-08-01T10:24:00.000-04:00

What have I gotten myself into today? Lemme tell ya.

It's the first of the month, so automatically that means two things. 1: My TurboLEAN Challenge Group kicks off today! Love new challenge groups, love all things Chalene, love my challengers! Automatic motivation boost. 2. Today ALSO means the start of the SweatItOut AugustAbsChallenge, which includes a new ab move for every day of the month. Keep in mind that I'm also not only leading but partaking in the Let's Get Crazy Insanity group and doing my best to boost training morale over at the SweatItOut Screamin' Spartans. How am I doing that, you ask? Lemme tell ya.

Today, I have thrown down a gauntlet for the Screamin' Spartans and my Insaniacs: do the Spartan Training workout of the day. No problem, right? Only today is Buck Furpee Day. That means 300 burpees over the course of the day. Fun stuff! And they took the bait, so we're off and running. WOOHOO and OOO-RA!

Now, about that AugustAbsChallenge (to be henceforth referred to as the AAC). I briefly toyed with the idea of starting off slowly with a simple move like crunches to failure. But...it just felt so vanilla and blah. I'm much more in the mood for...THE HUNDRED. Could be the endorphins coursing through my sweaty self after busting out Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs. Could be the energy rush from a little E&E Formula I drank during my workout. Could be that it's just the first of the month and that always sounds appealing and clean-slate-ish to me.

Or it could be that I like to jump first and look later.

Because I also forgot that today is the sumo squat "like" challenge for my TurboLEAN gals. You know, because I like to charge headfirst. Never mind that wall that I'm bound to crash into sometime this afternoon (or, I hope, this evening. Big day today - I got a new fridge comin'!).

So let's rehash that, shall we? Go over my SweatItOut checklist for the day.

1. Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs - We can check this one off. Done, finished, finito, BAM.
2. AugustAbsChallenge - the hundred. About to bang this one out as soon as I finish writing all about it.

True story.

3. Buck Furpee Day - the plan is sets of 30 throughout the day, but I am gonna make a valiant attempt to kill 'em all as soon as possible. Because I am ever aware of that wall...
4. Sumo Squat Challenge - this could go all day, as long as people keep "liking" my photo. But hey, I wanted to work on my lower body, right? These thighs will make mincemeat outta that sumo.

Cute, ain't he?

And there you have it. August 1. So, uh...what are your workout plans for today?

Challenge Completed!

2012-07-31T08:43:00.002-04:00

Well, here we are. The 30-Day FitPhotoChallenge is complete. And I have the photographic evidence to prove it.

Day 24: Workout Music

Day 24 was Workout Music. Now, this is just the top of my favorite running playlist, but of course it contains a handful of my favorites. You can add these to your "I Got Fitness And I Know It" playlist if you so desire. Thank me later.

I got a tad sidetracked for a number of days, then cheated on my catchup by lumping three days into one photo (and one glorious fitness shopping spree! Weeeeee!). The photos needed were: TryingSomethingNew, Fitness Shoes, and Addicted. I am quite obviously an Insanity junkie, so that one was impossibly easy.

Days 25-27

The shoes...well, I was in quite desperate need of some new crosstrainers (for Insanity...it's all one big cyclical thing here, folks), so Hubby and I schlepped the kids over to Aardvark and grabbed another pair. I'm sticking with the Asics Gel TR 170's, just switching up my colors (oooh!aaaah! Coral!). Unless they come out with a newer and cushier version, this is my shoe. I'm on my third pair and the love has yet to fade.

As for TryingSomethingNew...well, I got TWO in one photo. I snagged my new vegetarian cookbooks (recipes and cooking are coming along slowly, but pretty well, despite what my children may tell you) and I've been trying new dishes every day. But what I am amazingly excited about is my new Polar heart rate monitor!!!!! I fully realize that only the deepest of fitness crazies will understand my unbridled enthusiasm at tracking my heart rate and thereby calories burned...but that doesn't even begin to dampen said enthusiasm. I LOVE MY MONITOR. I may need to print up a tshirt or maybe a bumper sticker. Everyone else hearts their dogs, their kids, their spouse...I heart my monitor. It kept me pushing and I felt an immense satisfaction seeing my effort there on my wrist in readable text. I highly recommend strapping one on. (MON-IT-OR. Strap on a monitor. Perverts.)

Day 28: Protein

So then we had Day 28: Protein. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I get my jolt of protein every morning whilst enjoying my delicious Shakeology. Plugplugplug, advertiseadvertiseadvertise. But for reals, yo. Git summa dis.

Day 29: Love/Hate. I both love my newfound healthy diet - it makes me feel and look fantabulous - but I hate cooking. I try to find the joy of cooking, but it does not seem to be my area of expertise. I have no fluidity in the kitchen. BUT - I can muddle through with it knowing the vast rewards I'll be reaping. And until I can afford my very own Vitamix, I'll just keep chopping and blending my fit lil' heart out.

Day 29: Love/Hate

Now, then...Day 30. I did it! I made it through the entire 30 days of the FitPhotoChallenge! Woohoo! And I'm stronger, leaner, tougher, healthier, FITTER. Look at me! That body is the body of an Insanity-doin', vegetarian-eatin', fitness-gear-usin' MACHINE.

Day 30: 30 Days Later

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: you don't have to hate! Don't be jealous! JOIN ME! Tomorrow, over at the Facebook SweatItOut, we are beginning the AugustAbsChallenge, a new move for every day of the month. I may have kicked alcohol to the curb, but you'd better believe I'll be bustin' a six pack by August 30.

...or show it off with sports bras and compression shorts...

A Skinny Girl No More

2012-07-30T14:50:00.000-04:00

Know what this FitGal just can't hold anymore? Her liquor.

That's right. I said it. I overdrank. Went to a party to celebrate what's known in these parts as the "Big Time." Which is actually very small time, but with lots of alcohol and Italian deliciousness. The food - not a problem. I'm finding that vegetarianism is an incredibly easy transition for me. Just like that workout switch flipped for me way back when, the meatless switch has been flipped as well. So no biggie there.

The alcohol - problem. See, I totally forgot that I haven't had a drink since...well...it's been a really long time. I don't typically indulge at home or when we go out to dinner (which is a fairly infrequent occurrence in and of itself), nor do I join in every time we head out to a gathering. It's just not my "thing" anymore. But on this occasion, Hubby was nice enough to grab me two bottles of Skinny Girl in brand new flavors - and that stuff doesn't even taste like alcohol.

But it is.

I felt great for about an hour...and then AWFUL for the next twenty-four. I know everyone praying to the porcelain gods makes the same promise, but I can swear to you now on my new Adidas TR 170's...NEVER AGAIN.

I spent a good deal of yesterday in recovery mode. Missed my scheduled fit test. Barely left the bed. Drank a Dr. Pepper. And it got me thinking very seriously about how I had just treated the body I typically handle with such care. I mean, what had I gained from this?

The answer was clear: absolutely nothing. I would have had a fabulous time anyway, and I would have had it longer. I would have completed my fit test on schedule (instead of having to double up my workouts today). I would have gotten lots of chores out of the way, done my weekly food prep, and spent more quality time with the monkeys. No drink tastes so good that I would trade all of that.

So this once hard-partyin', holdin'-her-liquor Queen isn't goin' soft. No...I'm just adding another segment in my FitLife. Turns out, I am so careful about what I put into my body on a regular basis that it just can't tolerate when I throw it a curve ball.

But guess what? I actually feel really great about that. I don't drink enough to miss it, nor do I need that crutch in a social situation. So I'm good. I'm sure I'll face some backlash here and there. But I hit that at every step, I've found. Some were irritated by my zest for exercise. Then it was the lean diet. Now the vegetarianism. Soon, it'll be my alcohol-free state.

Screw 'em. I am solid in my decision and I know my body will thank me.

Besides, I find life so more fun when my face isn't hanging over toilet water. Don't you?

I Work Out

2012-07-27T08:43:00.002-04:00

My fitness goals, as you know, include increased strength, increased cardio capability, and all the healthful byproducts of that. They also include...*clearingmythroat*...lookin' good.

They work ooouuuttt.

Yes. I, too, am shallow. I want to look in that mirror and think, "Day-um! She fiiiiiiiinnnnne!" And there are certainly days when that happens. More and more often, in fact. There are those days, yes, when I'm bloated and exhausted and just a mass of MomBlob...but they are fewer and farther between. Most days, I hear LMFAO blaring in my brain when I'm slipping into my size 6 jeans (they're getting a tad big, you know) or slithering into one of my FOUR bikinis. It runs through my head as I navigate my cart through the grocery aisles and around the racks at Target.

She be workin' on her fitness.

"When I push my cart through Wegmans, this is what I see...
Everyone stops and is starin' at me.
I got muscles on my arms and I ain't afraid to show it...
I'm sexy and I know it..."

That's right. And that's just one song. "Fergilicious" is another that gets its fair share of play time. Because I be workin' on my fitness, and Jackson - he's my witness. Don't even try to tell me you're not doing this too. I see other women who strut and wonder what song it is they've got spinning in their heads. (I also see the nonstrutting women glaring at those of us who do strut...I gather they're listening to Gilbert Godfried narrate How To Be Unhappy And Jealous Instead Of Doing Something About Your Life...or something like that.)

Here are the requirements for my tune wedgies:

It must be superficial and shallow, namely about lookin' fine and blowin' minds.

It must have a beat I can wigglewigglewiggle to...yeah yeah.

It must have a catchy refrain that reminds me of my superior rear/abs/delts status.

Check our her guns.

Sometimes, if I catch the eye of jealous MomBlob (and they all immediately take on the appearance of Harry Potter's Aunt Petunia), the song will make an immediate switch to Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" while I smile politely yet knowingly. I can almost hear Gilbert cackling in her head.

So my gift to you today, dear Readers, is a little "I Got Fitness and I Know It" playlist. Here's my personal soundtrack as I strut through my day, be it at Wegmans, Target, the public pool, or simply doin' diaper duty here at the M&M Estate. Feel free to add your own personal "baby got BACK" tunes in the comments section. I'm always lookin' for more ways to celebrate my outstandingness and music ranks high on that list.

The Queen's "I Got Fitness and I Know It" Playlist:
I'm Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Fergilicious - Fergie
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
Rumour Has It - Adele
Hanky Panky - Joan Jett
Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas
You Could Be Mine - Guns N' Roses
Does Your Mother Know - ABBA
She's Crafty - Beastie Boys
Boys - Britney Spears
Lay Your Hands On Me - Bon Jovi
Dirty - Christina Aquilera
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Run The World (Girls) - Beyonce

Mom, Interrupted

2012-07-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

Mornings at our humble Estate begin this way: the babe cries to alert me to his full diaper and dissatisfaction with location. I grope my way blindly to his crib, correct problem #1 and transfer him to our bed, thereby correcting problem #2. I typically crawl back in for a snuggle while we catch up on the previous night's installment of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show. (Look at me, a news junkie...)

You can see why I get excited...

Now, if you've read previous posts (which of course, you HAVE) you know that I spent much of last summer and winter prepping for my marathon by rising early for lengthy runs. So now that I've moved on to Insanity, that's continued...or not...because actually, I have been sweatin' away during nap time. Much less chance of interruption by children who expect to be fed or dogs that confuse linoleum with lawn.

This morning, now...this morning...a fellow Insanity challenger tagged me in her Facebook post and that got me all kinds of antsy for my workouts (I have one to make up from yesterday as my own dear mama was up for a visit). I stopped Colbert mid-snarkiness, put on actual clothes and started my coffee (which I needed to deal with those lawn-confused mutts and their own status updates all over my floor). Hubby even settled the babe in with Elmo and the gang, so things were lookin' good.

Then Hubby took a shower. Damn him! The babe became quite upset; the mutts desired a chance to defecate outside; I discovered itty bitty ants all around my kitchen sink; dishes needed done; the 6-year-old awoke...Damn it all to hell!

I am currently baking banana bread and writing my blog. Two things I can do whilst also running the household and cursing my lack of a full staff here at the M&M Estate.

It smells delicious.

But here's my point: I could say "To hell with it!" and climb back under the covers and snuggle on this incredibly stormy and gray day - and at some point, I can pretty much guarantee you'll find me and three little monkeys watching The Sandlot or Princess Bride. HOWEVER - you will also find me (at some point, hopefully around 11 or 12) doing push-up jacks, power squats, and the like. Because I WILL NOT ALLOW a thing like "life" to get in the way of my fitness goals.

See, that's the excuse I am always hearing, more than any other. (Except maybe motivation. But then I just say, "Read my blog" and people get all transformed and shit.) "I don't have the tiiii-iiiime." That word - TIME - is nearly always said with a whiiiiiiiine, so right away, I am irritated. Whiners and pansies are right at the top of my "No Way, Uh-Uh List." I don't hang with 'em. You wanna complain about your dissatisfaction - I'll listen. But if I offer you ideas, if I offer you solutions - and then you prattle on searching for MORE reasons to NOT handle your shit...well, let's just say we probably won't be talking much after that. You may be talking, but I will have stopped listening and begun contemplating the lint between my toes.

There's a difference between having the time and making the time. You either want it or you don't. If you don't, that's your choice. But don't come crying to a FitGal with your scheduling woes. I currently manage the lives of four other people and two furpeople (no one can manage a cat, so I won't even include those arrogant balls of fluff). At any point on any given day, I am breaking up fights, disinfecting surfaces, laundering, cooking, planning, chauffering, shopping (and not the fun kind, so wipe that smirk off your face), nursing, organizing, or supervising...but that's every parent (or should be - don't even get me started!). I'm not unique in my overpacked days - and NEITHER ARE YOU. So save your sad story for your Facebook status. (And please, make it vague and slightly dramatic so you get lots of attention). I am actually too busy to listen.

Pay It Forward

2012-07-24T07:47:00.000-04:00

My upline coach sent me this nifty little bracelet she received at the Beachbody Coach Summit in Vegas. Bright orange with equally bright blue letters that spell out "Commit to pay it forward." It was sent to me because she was proud of me for bringing on another coach and taking that next step towards Emerald.

And yes, from the outside, I can see how that may all sound a tad cheesy or silly. But from where this ever-fitter gal sits, that sounds like goals accomplished and a bright shiny future. And paying it forward is why I started coaching in the first place. I found my passion - sharing a love of fitness and the knowledge that each one of us can do positively incredible things when we decide and commit.

Not much more than two years ago, I was in a rut. A smelly, unattractive, gluttonous rut. I smoked close to two packs a day. My food was generally breaded, fried, or smothered in gravy or icing. Chances that I actually prepared my food were on the very low side. I climbed the stairs and felt winded. I watched the kids play while I puffed my PFunks and pondered where we would order from that night. Our shelves were fully stocked with PopTarts, multi-colored cereals, and boxes of neon macaroni-and-cheese. Okay - I've gotta stop now, because I wanna vomit.

My third pregnancy took care of the smoking, just as each pregnancy had done before. I desperately wanted to remain a quitter this time - and I did. I credit that late-night informercial moment when I first laid eyes on Chalene and TurboFire.

That singular program was exactly what I needed. Not only was it fun, not only did I find myself looking forward to that hour every day...It pushed me to fitness levels I never thought I'd reach. Which in turn made me wonder what MORE I could do. So when my niece challenged me to run a half marathon with her, despite not being a runner...I said yes. And for the first time, I began training specifically for an event. This lit a fire under me and was that fire ever HOT!

I started looking at my nutrition; I began signing up for other events. I tried new and harder Beachbody programs. I felt a confidence I had not felt...well, perhaps ever. I took the plunge and purchased my coaching kit. And whether you believe me or not, I did it more to pay that feeling forward than to line my wallet.

What I did not expect was the immediate welcoming of the Beachbody community. But these people are encouraging and happy and also on a path to share a passion for fitness. They have had the same successes and the same epiphanies. So my story is not unique here, which makes me love my new job even more.

But of course I want to be a successful coach. I also have confidence that I WILL be a successful coach. I decided to do it and I am committed to doing it...so I will succeed in doing it. Two ways to further that goal? Push my workouts harder and up my nutrition even more.

Do you see the cycle? Do you see how true fitness can affect every other part of your life? I mean, seriously...look at me now. Smoke free. Down three sizes. Cooking my own freakin' applesauce. I shit you not. I made my own applesauce. And my own energy bars. And a seriously fabulous Mexican lasagna. All vegetarian, all made in my kitchen. Know what else I did today? Insanity Pure Cardio. I killed that sucker. And if I wanted to, I could take those stairs two at a time and not feel a thing.

A dear friend from college thanked me today and left this quote on my Facebook profile:
"When the student is ready, the right teacher will appear. -" anonymous. She meant me. And she's not the first, nor do I believe she is the last. I am doing what I set out to do - spread the word. Think of me as an evangelical fitness enthusiast. The best part? I am just as proud of her accomplishments as I am of my own. I know how hard she's worked and I've seen how far she's come. I feel lucky that she is making me a part of that.

So life is good. I've got some big dreams and bigger ideas to bring to fruition. But they all stem from that commitment to paying it forward. Some things just don't change.

1,000 Words...Or More...

2012-07-23T11:29:00.000-04:00

You can stop pacing and biting those fingernails now. I am finally posting more photos for my 30-Day Fit Photo Challenge! That's right, you can breathe easy now. The moment is here, my friend.

Day 12: Sweat

Now, where did I leave off? I actually just had to go back and check...and HOLY CRAP! I've got some major catching up to do! The last you knew it was Day 11...you poor things! You must've worried so about days 12 through 23. Well, here you go. A nice warm bowl of FitPhotos to start your day!

Day 12: Sweat! And boy, did I! All the way through Plyometric Cardio Circuit, and all over my brand spankin' new Beachbody tshirt. Decide, Commit, Succeed. My mantra!

Day 13: Inspired By

Day 13: Inspired By. I am inspired by Chalene Johnson, over and over and over again. The woman is a teeny tiny powerhouse in all facets of life. If you follow me at all, you are already aware of my extreme fitness crush on Chalene. She's strong, not skinny. She's motivating, not annoying. She's relentless, not obnoxious. Plus the woman has an incredible shoe collection.

Day 14: YUM!

Day 14: Yum! Shakeology. Plain and simple. I love the flavor, I love the way it makes my body feel, I love its convenience and versatility. You should buy it. Today.

Day 15: Got Muscle?

Day 15: Got Muscle? Shit yeah, I do! This is my "before" pic for the Let's Go Crazy! Insanity Challenge Group. I am expecting bigger and better guns in the coming weeks, so be prepared for intense bragging and posturing.

Day 16: Love This Workout. Did I really need to tell you? I don't think so...

Day 16: Love This Workout

Day 17: On My Way

Day 17: On My Way...Dug out an old "before" pic just for comparison's sake. This was taken on 1/17 of this year. I don't even need to look at a present photo to know that I am indeed ON MY WAY. I could check the clothes I'm wearing - all smaller sizes. Or the donation bag I just tossed those pants in two days ago. Or the garbage can that sports bra went into a week ago. But like I said, no need. I know I am ON MY WAY.

Day 18: Fitness Friend. My fitness friend is the Hubster. He is my cheerleader and partner during training and events and my caretaker after. His support has given me the foundation and the room to come this far...and will push me to new levels in the future.

Day 19: My Reward. MEDALS! RECOGNITION! BRAGGING RIGHTS! All good stuff.

Day 19: My Reward

Day 20: My Gym (for now)...I still have great visions of my garage-turned-gym-haven, but until then...this is where the magic happens.

Day 21: Abs. They fluctuate, sure, but they're still miles better than this time last year. Or even earlier this year...(Refer to Day 17)

Day 22: Breakfast. Another Shakeology shout-out. My breakfast is the same 99% of the time - Shakeology and black coffee. Suprisingly, I am totally cool with that.

Day 23: No Longer Need. I have progressed beyond the five pounders and shrunken below the mediums. And who needs a scale when you've got new clothes to prove your smaller, fitter size? Gimme a tape measure and a bikini over a scale any day! (Ironically, I actually weigh more now than I did at the start of this challenge, but I am smaller. Must be all those new muscles.)

So there you have it! Only a week left to go. Wanna know what challenge I've got lined up for next month? Go to my SweatItOut fan page on Facebook and find out! Join us, even! Because you too can be awesome.

No Excuses

2012-07-22T10:20:00.000-04:00

As I sit here and shiver through a layer of salt and sweat, I cannot help but be reminded of just how incredible I am. Today was Cardio Resistance - lots of power moves, lots of upper body work. It may be hard for you to hear this, but...my upper body is not as strong as I would like. I know. I know. It saddens me too. But that's why we work on it! Well, that's why I work on it and then you read about it later. Weak muscles are not an excuse to stop; they are a reason to press on!

So when I began this program, I could not do a single moving pushup. Rewind, and let me explain. If you were to find me at any other point during my day and ask me to give you a good set of moving pushups, I could fairly easily do so. But when Shaun T demands them at the end of Cardio Resistance, I am already spent from globe jumps, power squats, v-pushups, and the like. My lil ol' shoulders are at failure. So up until today, I was modifying with regular or (gag!) "girly" pushups. Again, I know. My head hangs in shame. Or it would...if I hadn't actually DONE those moving pushups today. It's okay...your applause is welcome here. Clap away!

I did 'em. I had to take breaks, but I did 'em. And I followed with the ever dreaded floor sprints. Normally, my shoulders and arms are so taxed by that point that I simply cannot hold my sweaty self up. Normally, I modify by doing standing mountain climbers. Normally, I am slightly disappointed in my weak upper body. Today, I was not normal. (Hahaha. Shut it.) Today, I am about to bust outta my sneakers with pride. It's working! It's paying off! Rope Climb 2013, here I come!!!! I may just knock that damn bell OFF instead of ringing it when I reach the top.

I feel good. I can barely keep my hands from sliding off the keyboard and have no idea how I'm going to wash my hair, but I feel good. I DID IT.

Loading My Plate

2012-07-21T14:50:00.000-04:00

This is what's on my plate (almost literally) for the weekend:

Insanity workouts.
Vegetarian shopping (with added chicken and fish for Hubby and the babe).
Closet organization (which has little to do with my FitLife, but is quite high on my priority list right now).
Date with the Werewolf (at the very top of the list).

So, yes...some of these are obvious pieces to my FitLife journey, others maybe not so obvious. I'm guessing I don't need to explain Insanity whatsoever. But I'm also guessing a few of you may be curious as to how exactly that is going. Um...AWESOME. (In my head, I hear an old cheer we used to use: "A-W-E! S-O-M-E! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome, are WE!" Good. Now you hear it too.) I didn't take an extra break until I hit minute 34, and it was because my shoulders gave out, not my lungs. Upper body has always been my toughest area to tackle, but I'm soldiering right through. Next week, the goal is 35 minutes. It WILL happen.

And I promised I would explain further my wading in the vegetarian pool. I've been wrestling with it on an emotional level for quite some time, but what finally tipped the scales was a picture that caught my eye on Pinterest. It caught my eye because it was a photo of my favorite, dreamiest Beatle, Sir Paul. And the quote got me. So, enough with the meat. I have gone this route before, but fell off the meatless wagon. Something tells me this time, it'll stick. I'd bet my boots the support this time around will be a thousandfold of what existed before. So thanks in advance to my meatless pals.

Closet organization really does fit in, I swear! My mind is clearer when my spaces are uncluttered. The closet is the first in a long line of "re-do's" around the M&M Estate. Partially because I simply am done with the every-morning frustration of sorting through clothing to find something that fits (this time, because it's all gotten too big! Woot!). Partially because I tend to do my workouts earlier in the day when I don my sports bras and shorts first thing, which in turn leads to a generally more productive day. See? Told you there was logic and connection. You really ought to believe me when I say stuff.

The date with the Werewolf? you ask. Where does that fit? It's good for Mama's mental health, for one. There is no one else on the planet that can make me laugh like that boy can, nor is there an easier-goin' creature in this household. He is an easy person to be around, and I have come to appreciate easy people. And for two, he's shopping with me to gather those vegetarian foodstuffs. I always view grocery trips with kiddos as lessons in nutrition and money. So we'll have some good convo on both topics and he will (I hope) come away with a greater understanding of our shifting diet and how to best budget our cash flow at Wegmans.

That's what's on my plate today. What are you filling yours with?

Who Needs a Door, Anyway?

2012-07-18T09:51:00.000-04:00

Are you prepared for a little honesty? Because I am about to drop a BOMB on you folks.

I am human. I know, right? Pick your jaw up off that floor though and listen. Because here comes another bomb: I eat junk food, too.

There, it's out, I said it! I'm gonna be totally straight with you. Those Hershey bars I bought so we could make s'mores? Gone. Every. Last. One. Did we make s'mores? No. Which means between now and replenishing the supply, I must once again gain control over Midnight Miller, Raider of the Freezer and Pillager of the Snack Basket. I have no true excuse. Yes, my appetite is in overdrive with Insanity, but we have plenty of healthy options in the house. Matter of fact, pretty much every other option in the house is healthy. I just chose to zero in on the ONE thing I should not be chowing down on.

Now, a friend recently asked me to blog about what I eat and where my recipes come from. So there's my admission of chocolate above (damn you, Milton Hershey!). But a typical day would look more like this:

Breakfast: Shakeology (today was Tropical Strawberry, almond milk, frozen blackberries and frozen mango) and black coffee. (I really did attempt to leave coffee behind and replace it solely with green tea. I've accepted that I am just not gonna do that long term.)

Snack: Clif/Luna/P90X bars...My current favorites are Clif Peanut Butter Crunch and Luna Chocolate Peppermint Stick and Coconut Something-or-other. They are easy, they pack a protein punch, and they taste good. That's my kinda food, right there. Also, I usually add in a piece of fruit for extra sweetness.

Lunch: leftovers or a hodgepodge salad comprised of various leftovers. Typically, Hubby will grill all chicken and steak at the beginning of the week so that during the week, we have only to dump it onto a plate or into a salad and presto! Meals take five minutes to make. That's my kinda cookin', right there. My goal is to include as many colors as I can with the veggies on hand, plus eggs, meat, or feta for some protein. Dressing is typically a balsamic vinaigrette or a classic italian. We have done away with the "light" or "lowfat" dressings because they're just silly and full of stuff we don't want.

Snack: fresh fruits and either nuts, cottage cheese, or yogurt. This is likely to change in the near future, as is much of the diet listed above. For various reasons that I'll lay out in another blog, I am heading the vegetarian route and will go back to much less dairy (my body just felt better when I wasn't sucking down milk, yogurt, and cheese at every meal). But the fruits will stay!

Dinner: white meat (chicken, fish, or pork) most days; steak once a week or less. Nearly always with fresh or frozen veggies and a bowl of fruit on the table to pick from.

What do I drink besides Shakeology and coffee? Water. The occasional soda when we're out to eat, although this is less and less common. We don't keep soda or sugary drinks in the fridge, and I'm not much of a beer drinker, though Hubby keeps that stocked for his own sanity. In the past, I was a huge milk drinker, but I gradually lessened my intake and, as previously mentioned, feel better for it.

As for my recipes, I get them everywhere. Jillian Michaels' Making The Cut has incredible meals all laid out, every one of them tasty. I am a Pinterest addict and an avid collector of any and all women's fitness magazines. I pick and choose, but will every now and then follow a specific meal plan, as I just did for Insanity. Turns out, I am sick of meat, and that plan calls for quite a bit of it. So this Friday, my first errand is mapped out to Barnes&Noble to pick up a copy of The Eat Clean Diet Vegetarian Cookbook by Tosca Reno. I see this as the next step in my fitness and food journey. Stay posted to see how I do with this one...

Coincidentally, our refrigerator door FELL OFF this morning. So we will be chowing down on all things fresh today. It's rigged to hang in there, but we don't know for how long. I joked on Facebook that we may as well remove the shelving and dive in face first...after my workout, I just may do that. Insanity makes Mama one hungry bear.

If you really want to see what I eat and how I work out every single day, my profile on myfitnesspal.com is totally public. Find me and friend me (Miller343). Having more eyes gives me more motivation to practice what I yell, scream, and preach.

For now, though, I must go. It is time for pinning and coffee.

Selling Point

2012-07-17T08:58:00.000-04:00

What's life like after the Spartan Race, you ask?

Much the same. Awesome.

The SweatItOut Screamin' Spartans are already training for 2013. I am on Day 3 of the Let's Get Crazy Insanity Challenge Group. Hubby is on Day 3 of his P90X Challenge Group, Horton's Heroes. I am setting up next month's Chalene Johnson Challenge Group.

And it's time to start training for the Runner's World Trifecta in October.

Why? Because I love it. It makes me feel good, mentally and physically. This is my raison d'etre. Well, this and So You Think You Can Dance. And only one of those will change when How I Met Your Mother comes back for another season. I am fully entrenched and committed to this lifestyle.

Do you know that when I walk in my closet now, I no longer run my fingers over clothes that I wish I could wear? Everything fits now. There is no desperate search, no trying on and rejecting, no sweaty, tear-filled proclamation that "I have nothing to wear!" (Shoes, slightly different. Although I recently decided to not care what anyone else thought of my missing toenails. I'm a runner and an athlete. If you can pull your eyes away from these abs and biceps to look at my toes, have at it.)

I don't feel guilty when I eat the occasional treat anymore. Even when it's more than occasional. Because I know I'm going to kick my own ass in to a gear so high, not even a wedge of chocolate cake will have time to settle in. Of course, my body typically craves fruits and veggies and fish now, so treats have changed.

Last summer, I searched for board shorts and capris. This summer, I found myself shopping amongst the "shortie shorts," as my daughter and I call them. These quad muscles are too fierce to hide away. I would be sad when fall comes if I didn't know that my newer, higher butt was going to look oustanding in some new jeans.

Join me, won't you? You know where to find me by now (Facebook, Team Beachbody, hotmail, twitter, linkedin...). Challenge group or no challenge group, you still get me. And there's my selling point.

I AM SPARTAN!

2012-07-15T12:32:00.001-04:00

Mud. Smoke. Roaring. Half-naked, dirty people smiling and limping. Yep. We were in the right spot.

My nerves were gone as soon as my eyes opened. I was just plain excited to tackle those obstacles and run those hills! Not even the packing up of the entire M&M Clan for a muddy full-day outing put a damper on my enthusiasm (typically, attempted organization of 6 slightly insane Clan members is enough to put Mama over the edge, especially without coffee). We ate; we dressed; we left. We even had the werewolf's wrestling mix to pump us up as we drove off to Blue Mountain. Although, to be honest, Crazy Train pretty much sets the tone anytime we all pack into the minivan.

Registration was simple and organized and volunteers were helpful and cheerful. I mention this because I've been to events where this is not at all the case (I'm speaking to you, mean guy at Rock N Roll Half Marathon in Providence, RI). From the moment we arrived until our dramatic departure, there was not a single cranky volunteer or staff person. For that, I thank you, Spartan Race. Ooh and rah.

After the flurry of "clean" pics, we left the monkeys in the capable hands of Grandma and Papa and scurried to our starting line. Mudslingers were ready to RACE! I couldn't resist hopping in place and slapping Hubby's back every now and again as the Spartan Guy shouted our pep talk into the mic and our entire heat began screaming, "I AM SPARTAN!" And then we were off in a cloud of smoke and dust, immediately running uphill (this is the beginning of a theme) for the first 1/2 mile or so. Our first obstacles were wall jumps. I told Hubby I thought I needed help; turns out I DID NOT. Yes, I am even more incredible than previously thought. You may gasp now. I hoisted and jumped over and through, rolled under, jumped back up. LOVED IT. We high-fived and ran towards our first descent.

The Mudslingers

That's when it happened. One moment, he was right there in front of me (wearing his "Why go to Bangor when you can Mount Bethel?" camo tshirt), the next he was rolling on the ground in pain. Twisted ankle, we thought. He bravely stood back up and we moved on, thinking this but a minor stumbling block. Then he stepped in a gopher hole and went down again. SOAB.

We discovered post-race that he indeed suffered a nasty sprain. I say "post-race" because we finished. He stuck it out and did nearly every obstacle (substituting pushups for burpees when obstacles required a bit too much weight on the ankle) and that crazy mother FINISHED another grueling four and a half MILES to get his Spartan medal. HE IS SPARTAN.

So how was the race? Not totally what I expected. Perhaps because it was longer than typical Spartan Sprints, the trails between obstacles were longer than I had anticipated. After nearly every obstacle, we walked uphill (there's that theme again). And a side note: because of the added length, the huge portion of uphill trails, and the entire setup - even the race organizers were labeling this particular Spartan Sprint a "mini Beast." Word on the route from other racers was that this was the most difficult mud race any of them had ever done, including past Spartans and Tough Mudders. I take this as a sign that we will kill all future mud races in which we have no injuries.

Back to the race! Obstacles I failed to complete: rope climb, monkey bars, spear toss, climbing wall. I will be working on upper body strength A LOT. And I will be ordering a spear kit at some point. Which also means I will be making a hay target, perhaps with interchangeable faces of those on "my list." The climbing wall - BOGUS. I was unaware of the rules, put my toe on the first block, stepped back to question the volunteer, and she sent me to do my burpees for removing that toe. The goal was to climb across the wall without stepping off said wall. Which I fully believe I could have done. Still, I sucked it up and tucked my newfound knowledge away for future races. Overall, I did 120 burpees yesterday. I learned that I do indeed hate burpees, just as previously thought.

Obstacles I found relatively easy: the pulley, walls and water obstacles of all sorts, rope climbing up hills. At the pulley, the girl next to me asked amid grunts and heavy breathing, "How much does this weigh?" - referring the to the cement blocks we were to pull up and then slowly bring down. Turns out, they were forty pounds. I smirked a bit at her incredulity, and asked, "No kids?" I was right. Any mama worth her salt would've had no problem. Our arms are made for lifting.

The walls were just fun, whether made of wood or rope. I loved the steep climbs using ropes to pull up. The water obstacles felt delicious after the humidity of the trail, even when dragging a cement block like a demented sort of pet rock through the mud and sludge.

Post Fire Jump

The pancake drill nearly did me in. At first it seemed easy; I grabbed my 20-lb pancake and headed down the steep descent, passing many other racers (Hubby waited this one out, so I took the opportunity to move more quickly). At the bottom of the hill, I rounded the corner to begin the climb. No lie, readers, it looked like a Civil War scene. Bodies were lying across the hill, motionless, pancakes beside them. I used my momentum to start but man, that hill was steep. FOCUS AND GO (in Shaun T's voice) became my mantra as I pushed through my legs and charged up, taking breaks when I could go no further. I refused to lie or sit down for fear I wouldn't get back up. I went into floor sprint position and moved my pancake ahead of me as far as I could and repeated that process for about 1/3 of the climb. Then I remembered my Mama Bear arms, cradled that God-forsaken pancake in my arms, and sucked it up. Hubby was waiting with congrats at the top of the hill and informed me that I had actually passed quite a few other racers and made excellent time. I had no idea; my eyes had been focused on the ground beneath me, just as they often were when marathon training took me over hills. My theory holds: all ground looks the same when it's under your feet. When attacking hills, never look forward or back. Focus on the moment and PUSH THROUGH.

"Clean" Pic

I had been looking forward to the barbed wire crawl (seriously. I enjoy getting dirty!) but found it slightly more difficult than I had expected. First, much better to roll through than crawl through, especially if you've got a bootylicious backside like mine. Second, you get dizzy from all that rolling. Third, you ought to wear goggles, especially if you've got contacts. Dirt in the contact is not fun, nor was getting sprayed in the face with a hose because the chick in front of me was moving too slow (she didn't want to get dirty). Overall, I still liked it. I felt stealthy and badass.

Favorite obstacle? Jumping the fire. The sheer coolness factor and doing it in front of the spectator crowd made it a high point. Hubby even made the jump with the at-that-point-incredibly-swollen ankle. He is one tough engineer.

From the finish line we went straight to first aid. From first aid, we went straight to the Estate, showered, and headed to the ER. With crutches and Miller High Life, Hubs is feeling much better and quite pleased. The monkeys are quite impressed with their dad's toughness. And now he has a fabulous story.

And the kids? Just look the pictures! They loved it and can't wait to go back next year. When asked their favorite part - "MUD!" That girl - she already kicks serious ass at monkey bars, outclimbing all the boys with ease. And she loves the down-and-dirty of the race. She's a future Spartan Chick for certain. Does her Mama right proud.

JUNIOR SPARTANS!

Now that I've made the full report...It's time to start looking ahead to 2013! I am forming a team for July 13, 2013...If we can get enough people, we can have our VERY OWN HEAT. This is my goal. Help me reach it! We need a good name and awesome numbers...If you're ready to race with this gal, message me or leave a post on my SweatItOut Facebook page (there's a link over on the right). Let's turn this motherf#$&er OUT next year, whaddaya say? You could be SPARTAN!!!!

Post Race with my future Spartan

Spartan Eve

2012-07-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

'Twas the day before the Spartan,
And all through the Estate
Not a muscle was straining
And only lean foods I ate.

My stomach was jumping
But my legs they stayed still
In the hopes that we'd make it
Up the steepsteepsteep hill.

What have I done?
My alarmed brain, it cried,
So certain was it
That we would get fried.

Gloves or no gloves?
Tank or no tank?
Does it even matter?
My stomach...it sank.

And then I remembered -
I am MILLER, Queen of All!
I am a strong-ass bitch
And I NEVER fall!

Spartan? Pshaw!
I raised a werewolf, a bear!
And I work out each day -
These guns are a pair!

So at the finish line I'll wait
While others slip and they slide.
This is just more event
In which I'll take pride!