yemisi manuel's blog

...It's Nice Meeting You!

2014-10-22T02:25:00.001-07:00

It's nice meeting you!

When you meet someone for the very first time you kinda get wary of who he/she is or you try at a first glance to figure out what kind of personality eastward person could possess. Well I met a lady for the first time last month, got talking for some minutes, and in less than half an hour I got to know a lot about her personality. It's surprising most times When you meet people and you could easily figure out what character they are.
This lady talks a lot, and in so doing end up saying things not really necessary or just inconsequential!
Has dat ever happened to you? I don't know if it's that she feels everything about her life should be revealed to a total stranger or what? I don't get it! Or is it low self esteem?
And she ends up putting me in position where I start feeling sorry for her... or was that her initial aim? To get my sympathy? Its nice meeting her..but is it really? What do you think??

Don’t be part of the problem...

2011-08-07T11:52:00.001-07:00

Emma Seyi-Onabule

Antibiotic is a medication that stops the growth of or destroys bacteria. They are wonderful drugs and have saved countless lives since their discovery. However many people in Nigeria, where you don’t need a prescription from a doctor to get any medication, believe its fine to take antibiotics for anything whether or not they need it.

The sad thing is that many people don’t know that taking antibiotics for every bit of discomfort or suspected infection can cause major problems. One of these problems is antibiotic resistance. This occurs when bacteria develops a way to resist the effects of the antibiotic, thereby making the infections they cause harder to treat.

One day a lady explained to me that her daughter had a chesty cough that was keeping her awake at night. I asked her how long she’d had the cough for and she said it had only started the day before. She then said that she was very upset because she couldn’t just buy antibiotics over the counter in the UK and if she were in Nigeria she would just walk into a chemist and purchase it no questions asked and give it to her daughter. I tried my best to explain that using an antibiotic as first line treatment could do more harm than good but she wasn’t prepared to listen. So in the end, I wished her well and left her in her ignorance.

In the west, where the use of antibiotics and indeed every medication is very tightly controlled, antibiotic resistance is a major problem, how much more in Nigeria where there’s virtually no control.

Antibiotics do not work on the common cold. This is because it is caused by a virus against which they are ineffective. The widespread use of these medicines in the misguided attempt to treat the common cold has led to the development of several strains of bacteria that are now antibiotic-resistant.

Sometimes, a bacterial infection will follow a cold virus. Signs that you may have a bacterial infection after a cold include pain around the face and eyes and coughing up thick yellow or green mucus. These symptoms are common with a cold, but if they last for more than a week, you may have a bacterial infection.

Also, some people, about one in 40,000, have a potentially fatal allergic reaction to some antibiotics. So when used by an untrained individual the consequences can be devastating. But people don’t make the connection; they just blame some African voodoo.

Antibiotic resistance is one of the world's most pressing public health problems. The more we use them, the more likely it is that bacterial resistance will develop. Some bacteria that cause potentially fatal infections in hospitals, such as methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and vancomycin resistant staphylococcus aureus (VRSA) are resistant to several antibiotics.

When bacteria are repeatedly exposed to antibiotics (and when people do not complete their prescribed course of antibiotics) resistant bacteria are favoured. They survive and multiply.

When that happens, the illness will linger with no signs of getting better or it could suddenly take a turn for the worse.

You may have to seek emergency medical care, even be admitted to hospital, where different antibiotics may need to be administered through your veins. People around you may also get the resistant bacteria and come down with a similar illness that is difficult to treat.

With regards to children, if every time your child has the sniffles or cough you pump them full of antibiotics, how will their immune system develop?

Here are some important things to remember when you are thinking of taking antibiotics. Firstly, go to your doctor to determine whether or not you need them. Secondly, take them as prescribed i.e. at regular intervals and complete the full course, even if you start to feel better before the end of the course.

And lastly, don’t take someone else’s antibiotic, not all antibiotics are the same, you could be allergic to it or it could be the wrong one you need for your condition.

Irresponsible use of antibiotics contributes to the global antibiotic resistance crisis. You don’t have to go far to find an example.

I remember when I was in secondary school and we used to get chloroquine every week for malaria prophylaxis. We used to call it “sunday sunday medicine”. Now that same medication is ineffective against the malaria parasite because it was so misused.

Next time you want to reach for an antibiotic ask yourself if you really need it, as you could be doing, not just yourself, more harm than good.

Great dynasties of the world: The Kims of North Korea

2011-08-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

Ian Sansom

Pity the poor dictators: because even they find it difficult to hand on wealth and power from generation to generation.

The Somozas managed three presidents over 40 years in Nicaragua – Anastasio Somoza García; Luis Somoza Debayle; Anastasio Somoza Debayle – before the Sandinistas kicked them out in 1979.

The Duvaliers, 'Papa' and 'Baby', tyrannised Haiti for almost 30 years. In Syria, Bashar al-Assad is currently hanging on to power, bequeathed to him by his father.

The Mubarak dynasty has come to a shuddering halt in Egypt. And things aren't looking good for a smooth succession for Saif Gaddafi in Libya too. This makes the world's longest-reigning dictator family, by a long shot, the Kims of North Korea.

In the western media, the ruling Kim, Kim Jong-il, is often depicted as a figure of fun: a bequiffed, cognac-swilling, platform shoe- and shades-wearing buffoon who loves Hollywood movies and once kidnapped a film director to make a communist Godzilla.

Bradley K Martin, in his book 'Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader' (2004), comes closer to the truth when he compares Kim and his family to the troglodyte Morlocks in HG Wells's novella The Time Machine, as monstrous beings who live underground and feed on the Eloi.

First of the dictator Kims, was Kim Il-Sung, born on 15 April, 1912, in Pyongyang. Kim's father died when he was 14 and his mother when he was 16. He fought with Korean partisans against the Japanese and in 1940 fled to the Soviet Union, where he became a major in the red army.

As Adrian Buzo notes, in The Guerilla Dynasty: ‘Politics and Leadership in North Korea (1999),’ the history of North Korea has been decisively shaped by Kim's time in Russia.

"In Stalinism, Kim saw a model for the rapid construction of a modern industrial nation-state under the aegis of a revolutionary party, capable of expelling all vestiges of imperialism from the Korean peninsula."

Kim also saw firsthand how one might become a ruthless dictator. After seizing power in 1948, Kim styled himself as a kind of North Korean Stalin.

According to Bradley K. Martin, he presented himself not only as North Korea's great leader and liberator, but also as the country's "leading novelist, philosopher, historian, educator, designer, literary critic, architect, industrial management specialist, general, table tennis trainer ... and agriculture experimenter."

It was, of course, all guff. And what wasn't guff was Juche, Kim's homemade, half-baked political philosophy, which promotes a unique Korean self-reliance, guided by a great leader.

"Man is the master of everything and decides everything," declared Kim. In other words, he was the master of everything and decided everything.

Kim died in 1994, aged 82, and was succeeded by his eldest son, Kim Jong-il. (Kim is one of the most popular surnames in Korea). It had been expected that, in turn, Kim's eldest son, Kim Jong-nam, would be named heir presumptive, but he seems to have fallen out of favour after being arrested in 2001 trying to enter Japan with a fake passport in order to visit Tokyo Disneyland.

It is now assumed that Kim Jong-il's successor will be his third son, Kim Jong-un, who has recently raised his political profile by being made a general in the people's army.

In her book, ‘Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea (2009),’ the journalist Barbara Demick writes: "If you look at satellite photographs of the far east by night, you'll see a large splotch curiously lacking in light. This area of darkness is the Democratic People's Republic of Korea."

The country has a chronic lack of fuel and food. North Korea, writes Demick, "is simply a blank." In truth, it has been effaced by one family.

Chores between couples

2011-08-07T11:42:00.001-07:00

Sheri & Bob Stritof, your Guide to Marriage

Today's marriage tip is about chores.

Today's Marriage Tip

Don't ask your spouse for help around the house. If you ask for help you give the impression that only you have the responsibility to keep the house clean.

It is better to ask your spouse to do his/her share of household tasks. Remind your spouse that the chores around the house should be shared responsibilities between the two of you.

Quest for independence or excuse for loneliness?

2011-08-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

A solitary lifestyle may fulfill the yearnings for independence nursed by many, but it nonetheless holds a host of negative implications worth knowing, writes Yemisi Nnnamdi-Manuel

yemihayday4u@yahoo.com

By all accounts, the 21^st century is defined by congestion and so much fuss, so it is no surprise that solitary living is embraced by many, especially the youths. Nowadays, many youngsters in their 20s prefer living alone, at least before they settle down to start families of their own.

But the trend is not limited to the young, because observers say there is an increase in the percentage of people living alone globally, as separated or divorced couples and singles. This raises a poser: is there something so attractive about living alone, or is it just an excuse for introverts without the company of family and friends to lead what can only be termed a lonely lifestyle? Most importantly, does this way of life have negative health implications?

Ogbolu Emeka, a professional psychiatrist, says those who embrace a reclusive lifestyle without the company of family and friends are susceptible to many things, most of which are negative. “If one does not think such people exist, check the annual list of suicides. How many people, tragically and sadly, take their own lives each year, because they are lonely? How many others turn to alcohol and drugs to fill the void in their lives in an attempt to drown the pain of their isolation? How many others still try to remove the pain, loneliness and hurt by engaging in endless sexual encounters with other people in an empty pursuit to fill this emptiness, placing their lives and well-being, including those of others at risk by so doing? There are many people living in loneliness; some hide it better than others. But they exist in larger numbers than most people realise,” argues Emeka.

This reclusive fad, however, does a lot more than affect individuals embracing it, because it has ripple effects on their loved ones. With today’s soaring divorce rates, for instance, the reality that a child would be raised by a single parent –or sometimes in a foster home- is one of the negative spin-offs from this trend.

Modinat Badmus, a divorcee and mother of three, has been separated from her husband for four years. Now in her mid-50s, she lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment at Egbeda, a suburb of Lagos . Her husband has denied her access to her three boys, for which reason her loneliness is more profound.

“I was depressed for the first two years of our separation, and worry about my children and my life every moment. I mean, I live alone and so many people see me as a failure, one that refused to endure assault and battery each day. Anyway, I’m still praying for divine intervention. But I have been able to cope with my solitary life. It’s a battle, but you either learn to fight and survive or you die. It’s that simple,” she says with finality.

Tolu Oladeji, a marketer, says she started living alone when she moved to Lagos Island after landing a swell job with a bank. She is quick to admit it’s not been fun and games: “It’s not easy staying alone. I’ve been lonely because no relative or friend is with me. There are times I naturally swing into moods; but I either go out or invite friends over.

“Living alone is not the best anyway because anything can happen at any time, and there won’t be anybody there to help you,” she observes.

Meanwhile, Akande Daniel, a cleric, says a reclusive lifestyle is not so bad, and can even be used positively in most cases. “Times of solitude, isolation, or silence can be used to find God, the essence behind every living energy and soul. You can’t do this if you’re constantly involved in an atmosphere of noise, chatter and other distracting environments. To me, therefore, with this understanding, living alone can be a divine gift if you know how to exploit it to give courage and hope,” he notes.

Femi Anjorin, a pastor and family counsellor, does not agree with Daniel: “I’ll not advise anyone to decide to live alone. At least have somebody close-by - a sister, brother, or even a friend. This is because I’ve seen and heard of cases of deaths or accidents in the middle of the night, where neighbours did not try to come out to help because they were afraid!”

He has a tragic experience to share: “A brother I knew died like that. He lived alone and only God knew what happened during the night, but he was found dead at dawn by his friend who usually drove him to work by 5:30 am everyday.”

Emeka once again asserts that life itself is a battle and one should not create unnecessary stress with a solitary lifestyle, because if such is the case, fear of the unknown and loneliness will be inevitable.

“Living alone is traumatic for a lot of people who do not have emotional problems, because in truth, no man is an island. Life’s problems could make someone change overnight, and it is the duty of those around the person to seek help and provide necessary support,” he advises.

So what do experts say loners should do to either get out of the woods or cope with their plight? Hear them: “Be of good courage, because you’re definitely not alone. Use that opportunity to get personally stronger. Redirect inner energy and focus in life towards greater advancement.

“Secondly, be happy with who you are. Value your isolation, because in truth, we’re all born alone. Make the best use of your status right now by getting a hobby. Do something you love, that will make you feel fulfilled. Moreover, render help to others because by so doing, you indirectly help yourself.

“Read more, exploit your potentials. Spread your wings and fly. Find small joys each day, making it a point to build a whole life, to make the difference between happily living alone and being lonely.”

RAPTURE: END OF THE WORLD?

2011-05-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

This week has been veryy busy for me... yes, a little bit stressful, but good all the same. Now, going by what is currently circulating all over the world..the new theory by radio evangelist, Harold Camping, that Judgment Day is coming this Saturday which is certainly generating lots of media attention, WHAT DO YOU THINK? Will the world end TOMORROW?

Women: Bringing lasting change in our society

2011-05-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

Women have always had roles to play in the home front, work places, communities and country as a whole. Women in today’s world are accomplishing their given roles as mothers, wives, sisters, aunts, daughters, etc.
According to a speech given by Josette S. Shiner, an editor of The Washington Times, on the ‘Role of Women in the 21st Century,’ women have accomplished so much, yet so little.
“I have found that in many ways women share a common language. No matter our culture, our background, we can understand each other. I have spoke to women leaders in America, and as these women went out to speak to young women of America, they addressed only one topic over and over again: How could women be more successfully compete with men and learn to behave more like men? These speeches were often filled with resentment and anger; they were urging women to be tougher, to learn to fight, to learn to ‘play the game’ in the world like men.
“But I find it very interesting that when I meet with other women in media or politics, many of who gave up having a family to pursue their goals, I find them asking themselves whether their career achievements really add up to the sum of a successful life. This means that achievement in a career does not mean fulfilment in life generally, there’s more to life than it being about yourself alone,” she said.
To Akinola Ajayi, legal practitioner, women have more to offer than they have the opportunity to demonstrate.
“Women are like the pillars of society. In the workplace, home, and across society, women’s contributions are enormous and deserved commendation. In every sector, we have women who have done greatly in their chosen careers, passion, and this country as a whole. We have more confident, educated, serious, hardworking women in our society, who speak out for others, who desire a change in the society, especially when it comes to addressing issues that pertain to sexual abuse of children, women, harassment in work places, etc. Not only that, they also speak out for the men folks as well, an example is Funmi Iyanda, who is a real role model indeed. These days, women are the ones that give the most to society.”
Josette also agreed with Akinola when she says no matter the background, women can make a difference. “Just as a family needs a father and a mother, so too must these qualities be available to complement each other in every aspect of society. I am convinced that women's value will not be in trying to imitate men, or in becoming more like men. Our value will be in honouring our womanhood and femininity, and offering to the world the wisdom that is held in this other vital half of humanity. At this very moment, in every single city in the world from Nigeria to Nepal a girl is being born. These young ladies will become women in the new century. They will soon be looking to us for guidance on what their hopes, dreams, and responsibilities will be in this new world; that is why we must be very serious about the example we set and the legacy we leave, because what the world needs very simply are individuals with commitment and genuineness of heart. The world is starving for this heart, and as women of commitment, we must have confidence that we can and will make a difference,” she states.
To Mercy Agbokobia, mother, and professional actress, even though women are not perfect, they still do all in their ability to secure the home and families.
“Women bear children; take care of the home, and even extended families. Many women are breadwinners in their homes, helping their husbands and children to be all they can be. Go to most churches, I don’t know about mosques because I’m not a Muslim, but you’ll discover that women are more than men! Only a woman can be a mother. In addition to bearing, nurturing, and raising our own children, women should share a united responsibility to maintain, uplift, and improve our homes, society and nation at this crucial time. All women should endeavour to be the best they can be for the sake of our children’s future and the society as a whole.
“There are pressing issues women can focus their energy on to make positive impacts. Drugs, drinking, careless sex of youths, and violence have destroyed many lives all over the world, women can spearhead campaigns to address and bring about changes in these areas. Our children are making choices that may preclude a hopeful future and in doing so, are risking the very future of our world. Women must continue to step forward to fill the moral gap, to remind our children of our culture, religion, spiritual, and moral values, which empower and protect us,” Mercy advised.
Finally, women must help in making each of their loved ones, relatives, society, and nation as a whole return to God; for Him to heal this nation and erase every trace of tribal, religious, and cultural animosities which can destroy this great nation.
Women can make that change...

Reflection of a mother’s heart

2011-05-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

Stephanie Dawson
Friday, June 27, 1997 was a memorable day for me in so many ways. The first and most significant was the birth of my son, James.
Not only was he my miracle child, but he would be my only child. Born by emergency caesarean section, James entered this world prematurely; had convulsions, stopped breathing and was resuscitated, but not expected to survive. However, against all the speculations of the doctors and by God’s grace, he did!
Another memory of significance that day brought me was the contemplation of being a mother. Wow – I was a mother! Yes, me, a mother! A barrage of questions and thoughts ran through my mind simultaneously: Was I equipped to do this job? (After all, it was, and still is, a huge responsibility).
And was I ready for this major task and life-changing episode? Of course I was – all mothers are! We run on instinct and intuition, but we just don’t appreciate our worth and abilities at the time.
Regardless of the number of text books and instruction manuals available on being a mother, there is no knowledge or skill as important as first-hand experience. And there’s certainly no substitute for the lessons life teaches!
As I reflect on the joys and pains in giving birth to my son, I also recognise the joys and trials of my own mother.
My fondest memories of childhood are the days of innocence, which seemed carefree at the time, with no worries to weigh down. I now appreciate how I was living under the protection of a strong mother and her awesome God, little realising the hardship and pressures that actually existed.
I can also reminisce my son’s earlier years and remember times in my life, growing up, where I felt the sense of my mother’s presence at every moment – even when I knew she had gone to work or shopping.
There was no hiding place and there was no escape from the hawk-like eyes that missed nothing! And so it is with our Father in Heaven – nothing is unseen by His eyes; no prayer goes unheard by His ears and no thought unaffected by His heart.
Despite the fact we are so very different in so many aspects of our lives, I can still see so much of myself in both my mother and James, and I have learned to see them through the eyes of God our creator.
Every emotion, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude, is stirred in me when I recollect the disappointments; the tears, laughter, the tests, the heartaches, the pain, and the joy of a mother’s heart, borne from the love of God.

2011-03-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

C.S. Lewis

"But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense -- love as distinct from 'being in love' -- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit ... 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

Source: C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity. pg. 109.

Funny Marriage Quotes!

2011-03-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

Marriages may be made in heaven, but they sure have to be managed right here on earth. That's easier said than done. Take a dig at the funny side of marriage. These funny marriage quotes are good stress busters. They make you laugh at the banalities of marriage. When you read funny marriage quotes, you realize that even a perfect marriage has its inherent flaws but those flaws add to the charm of marriage.

Ogden NashTo keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.
Bill Cosby
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Patrick Murray
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
Gloria Steinem
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Groucho Marx
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Agatha Christie
An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Milton Berle
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Henry Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Joyce Brothers
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Homer
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye-to-eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.
Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.
Lord Byron
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Katharine Hepburn
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married.
Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
George Lichtenberg
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

Forgiveness in Marriage

2011-03-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

Daily Marriage Quote and article culled from About.com: With Sheri & Bob Stritof, your Guide to Marriage Forgiveness: Saving Your Marriage

Today's marriage quote is by Mimi Schwartz.
"Long term marriage is about reinventing yourself and your marriage many times, so that neither gets into a rut."
Source: Mimi Schwartz. Thoughts From a Queen-Sized Bed. 2003.

Being able to forgive and to let go of past hurts is a critical tool for a marriage relationship. Additionally, being able to forgive is a way to keep yourself healthy both emotionally and physically.
Health Aspects of Forgiving
If you hold on to old hurts, disappointments, petty annoyances, betrayals, insensitivity, and anger, you are wasting both your time and your energy. Nursing a perceived hurt can eventually make it in to something more - hate and extreme bitterness.
Lack of forgiveness can wear you down. Additionally, being unforgiving is not good for either your physical or mental well being.
How to Forgive
•Be open
•Make a decision to forgive your spouse
•When images of the betrayal or hurt flash in your mind, think of a calming place or do something to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts
•Don't throw an error or mistake back in your spouse's face at a later date. Don't use it as ammunition in an argument
•Don't seek revenge or retribution. It will only extend the pain
•Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression
•Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean you condone the hurtful behaviour
•Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive your spouse takes time. Don't try to hurry the process
•If you continue to be unable to forgive, or you find yourself dwelling on the betrayal or hurt, please seek professional counselling to help you let go and forgive.
How to Ask for Forgiveness
•Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you've caused
•Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your spouse again by repeating the hurtful behaviour
•Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt
•Be open to making amends
•Be patient with your spouse. Being able to forgive you often takes time. Don't dismiss your spouse's feelings of betrayal by telling your spouse to "get over it."
Marriage Relationships Need Forgiveness
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has grumpy days. Many people say things they do not mean now and then. Everyone needs to forgive and to be forgiven.
No relationship, especially a marriage relationship, can be sustained over a long period of time without forgiveness. Even though you may find it difficult to forgive, being able to forgive is crucial in marriage.
Knowing When Enough is Enough
If your spouse abuses you, continues to betray you, continues to lie to you, etc., then it may be time to say enough is enough and to end your marriage. In these situations, forgiveness for the past hurts may take longer and that is okay.

Today's Marriage Quote

2011-03-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama
"Sometimes, when we're lying together, I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something strong between us. Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that it's important that a partner continues to surprise."

A struggle for survival

2011-03-10T09:11:00.000-08:00

Schizophrenia, sometimes called split personality, is a severe debilitating mental illness that affects a person. Olaogun Dunsimi writes about a sufferer’s struggle for survival.
“The thought of having to relive the whole day, again and again, day after day, is mind-draining. The screaming, the rage, the silent whisperings... I wish I could stop them but I don’t know what to do,” Kunle Adeola sobbed.
One could help but feel his anguish and helplessness as he talked about his brother, Kayode.
Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Kunle says “I am tired of seeing him like this. I want my brother back. I want him back. He played with me when I was sad; he was there for me all the time.”
Kayode is not always like this. It all started after college when he tried to secure a job all to avail. He wrote many aptitude tests and went for interviews. He wished and hoped for an employment all to no avail. This went on for four years.
He also got jilted by his long-time girlfriend, Bisi. As a result, Kayode kept to himself, completely withdrawn from every social activity.
Before long, he took ill and finally broke down. He was thereafter diagnosed with severe mental disorder.
“He was hospitalised for days... this marked a new era in my family,” Kunle noted.
Kayode started seeing things others don’t see. He speaks to himself when alone, laughing and gesturing at the same time. He was later diagnosed with schizophrenia.
“I fear for my parents, because I’m scared they would just have a heart attack when this whole thing finally breaks down,” Kunle tells me.
“He has been taken to lots of places, used drugs, spent so much money...we are yet to see light at the end of the tunnel. People now point fingers at me and say something like ‘yeah that’s him, that’s his brother.’”
Schizophrenia is also sometimes called split personality. It’s a chronic, severe debilitating mental illness that affects a person.
It is one of the psychotic mental disorders and is characterised by symptoms of thought, behaviour and social problems. The thought problems associated with schizophrenia are described as psychosis, in that the person’s thoughts are completely out of touch with reality a times.
For example, the sufferer may hear voices or see people that are in no way present, or feel like bugs are crawling on his/her skin when there are none. The individual may also have disorganised speech, behaviour, physically rigid or lax behaviour.
There are five types of schizophrenia, and these are based on the kind of symptom the person has at the time of assessment. They are paranoid schizophrenia, disorganised schizophrenia, catatonic schizophrenia, undifferentiated schizophrenia and residual schizophrenia.
Although research is still going on in this area, the causes of schizophrenia are still unknown.
Treatments only focus on eliminating the symptoms of the disease, and this includes anti-psychotic medications and various psychosocial treatments.
But the fact remains that in this part of the world when we see such people we never want to believe that this disease is hereditary or triggered by sickness or socio economic factors, such as state of livelihood, poverty, unemployment or a tragic incident, it could happen to anybody.
But we always seem to get the idea that such people have gotten their hands dirty at some point in life and gotten the consequences of their actions or like it’s usually been said ‘the works of evil doers...’ or its ‘juju.’
Little do we realise that when we ignore these set of people and leave them to their fate that is when they become irredeemable. We see so many of them on the streets, what do you think happened to them?
We see them in some families, their relatives trying and struggling to make their loved ones sane and normal beings again. We should be able to empathise with them, give a helping hand when needed, to show them love, not point fingers at them because they go through a lot of pain having to see their loved ones that way.
Schizophrenia is gradually becoming a plague globally. There aren’t even enough homes or institutions out there catering for the need of these people, except in the developed countries where they have enough nursing homes and institutions for them to be properly taken care of.
Not every parent can afford to fly their child out of the country for such medical care. Parents of sufferers often ask why care facilities are not in the country to care for Schizophrenia patients.
“Our life doesn’t have to be shaped with naira signs before we can get something done or know what’s important. Let’s try to help one another. It begins with just one attempt from you, let love lead the way,” says a sufferer’s parent.

Loud out loud

2011-02-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

Recently in japan they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it to different countries for a test.
In USA, in 30 mins, it caught 500 thieves
In spain, in 20 mins, it caught 25 thieves
In Ghana 10 mins, it caught 6,000 thieves
In Uganda, in 7 mins, it caught 20,000 thieves
In kenya,In 8mins it caught 30,000 thieves
In Nigeria, in 5mins, the machine was stolen.... L̃̾Õ☺Õ̾Ô=D:D=));)ÕÔ☺ÔÕ̾L̃̾!

CRACK YOUR RIBS!

2011-02-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is an interview between a Saudi man and a British consul
...Saudi Vs. Consul

Consul: 'your name please?'
Saudi: 'Sheikh Abdul-Aziz'
Consul: 'Sex?'
Saudi: 'nine times a week'
Consul: 'I meant male or female?'
Saudi : 'Both male and female, sometimes even camels.'
Consul: 'Holy cow'
Saudi: 'Yes, cows & dogs too'
Consul: 'Man, isn't that hostile?'
Saudi: 'Horse style, dog style, any style!'
Consul: 'Oh dear!'
Saudi: 'No deer, they run too fast...!!'

Liar
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
Panic is when both are pregnant!!!

Chinese Adam & Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the SNAKE

Laugh small:
1) Three pastors were discussing: One said his problem is stealing, he cannot stop stealing from the church's money and if his church members find out, it would be disastrous.
The second pastor said his own problem is adultery. He had slept with almost every woman in the church both married and unmarrie. His church members must not find out. The third pastor said his problem is that he cannot do without gossiping, and everybody must know what he just found out.
He then excused himself and immediately the other two pastors fainted.

Surprise Visit
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife decided to stop by his office. On entering the office, she saw the secretary on her husband's laps.
In order to defend himself the husband said "budget cut or no budget cut, management must do something. I and my secretary cannot be sharing this office with just a single seat...!

Anger
Dad asked his son: "Whenever I beat you how do you stop your anger?
Son replies: "I start cleaning the toilet"
Dad asked: "How does that help you?"
Son: "I clean it with your tooth brush"

Guy's Talk
4) Three guys were gisting at a beer parlour. The first guy said "when my wife was pregnant she was reading a book; a tale of two cities and she gave birth to twins"
The second said his wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to triplets.
The third guy dropped his beer bottle and started running home. Concerned, his friends gave chase.
When they got to his house they saw him burning a book, and they asked why.
He said his wife was reading Ali Baba and the forty thieves and she is pregnant? Not in this house... It cannot happen!

My Family values

2011-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

By Toju Egbebi

My parents, my dad especially, wanted me to become a doctor but I was not really cut out for that profession.
Being an understanding man, my father never forced me; he simply shifted his focus elsewhere. In the long run, their expectation was: ‘I remember the upbringing I was given and not make a mockery of it in my quest for self-discovery and desire to find my own way in life.’
My mother had the largest heart and the firmest whip when we were growing up. She is a hardworking woman and a loving disciplinarian (probably these two attributes help her in running her school), who taught me that the world is much more than one person and I should look to others for help or to be of help.
My father is a definite provider, fun and very witty. He is very hardworking; a man of sure integrity. The lessons I have learnt from my parents is that the best way to enjoy life is to give and not be ashamed to receive help and love. They also taught me that hard work does not kill, and protecting your name and that of your family preserves it for future use by latter generations.
I grew up with siblings who are fun, witty, supportive and very loving people. I have five of them and I can proudly say that we are maintain close relationship. My siblings are independent, smart people.
The first time I went home with a boyfriend was in 2008 when my husband proposed to me. You see, I don't come from a family that recognises boyfriends.
If he is not a fiancé, my parents don’t care what his name is as long as he is not coming to their house too often.
My parents are very cool people. If you ask my husband, he may say he thought they didn't like him. They welcomed their prospective son-in-law politely and they were cordial and warm. There was nothing more.
However, later my mother was ecstatic secretly, as for my father, I don’t know as I never got any reaction from of him. I hope he doesn’t read this. However, he dropped a small tear on my traditional wedding day. Whenever I remember this, it makes me smile.
In all, I was too wrapped up in my own world to notice how they must have felt, but I assume they were happy. My husband and I do not really consider our faith and relationship with God as religion or being religious. We are committed members of a bible-believing church within the community we reside. Although we skip a service now and then, we hope to infuse in our kids a devotion to their maker and desire to live up to a calling and standard that exceed the life they live on this earth.
Family is a bunch of people thrown together by fate and love, who decide to love each other unconditionally. I get away with things I can’t try with outsiders with my family members, and love them for it. I believe family should be a place of refuge and where you really can be yourself. My core family value is let God lead and reign, then love and peace will always follow.

***What's your own story? Lets hear it...

We got married as ‘strangers’

2011-02-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

By Ignatius Eyah

I met my wife in an unconventional way. I called it ‘unconventional’ because it is not the usual way most men have said they met their wives.
When I was ready to get married, as is the custom in my area, I told my people that it was time. I told my sisters and aunts, who had before then been bombarding me with queries on when I would eventually settle down.
Many of them had their candidates, who did not really measure up. I was taken to school hostels, event venues, homes, etc. But I was not satisfied with the girls I saw.
It is tradition in my clan that when you are ready to get married, you give your relatives the specification of what you want in a woman, because they will be the ones to assist you in getting a good wife.
Marriage in my village is a communal thing, it involves the family. Hence you can’t choose a woman alone; you have to involve everyone in the family if you actually want to get their blessings.
There is also the belief that you have to marry a woman from your village, because of the issue of infidelity. Probably because our culture trains girls to be responsible, and so believe that a woman from the same village as the man will always have the fear of God and of the community, such that the issue of infidelity will not arise.
Once the man makes up his mind and makes a choice, we don’t bother so much about her upbringing, because those who made the recommendations would have checked the family first-hand.
Mine was just to check out the physical appearance and make an overall assessment. On this particular day, there was a recommendation that I check out someone in a neighbouring village. On the way, a friend suggested that there was another girl on the same route, who had just completed her National Youth Service.
So, there we went. And I liked what I saw, hence I couldn’t continue with any other search. Even though she didn’t know what our mission was that day. I returned to Lagos shortly after. After a couple of weeks, I made my intention known to her, and a month after, we commenced the marriage rites.
In a nutshell, we got married as strangers and over time, we grew the relationship into a wonderful home, one born out of true love.
We didn’t marry for what we call ‘love’ but it grew in the family as we progressed. I can assure you that our love has continued to grow. For us, maybe because we were not lovers from the beginning, we wake up every day to discover new ways of appreciating each other. This may not work for many people, but it worked for my wife and I.
The fact is it sometimes works better when you marry as strangers, and then nurture your friendship from the scratch. It will definitely grow. We have heard about people who dated for 10 years before marriage only to separate after three years.
It has been six years down the line for us, and every day I admire my wife as if she were a young girl I had just met. I cannot trade her for someone else. It has indeed been a very rewarding marriage.
Since then, I have never had cause to miss my past girlfriends, and I never had the intention of returning to any of them. I have found solace in my wife and that does it for me.
Of course, there are occasional hiccups, but they are not so serious for me to regret marrying her. The marriage has been blessed with lovely kids, and in terms of resources, I am better off now than when we just got married.
She is not the materialistic kind and has been helping with good ideas on how to manage our income. Another important point is that because of my wife’s well-known background, there have been no worries on my part about infidelity because she has as much confidence in me as I have in her.
For us, Valentine is a celebration of a love that has grown over time. We have an understanding born out of a mutual respect for each other, knowing that we come from different backgrounds.
We have to open our minds to tolerate each other. I just got her a posh handset and I intend to take her out with the kids on Sunday, a day before Valentine’s Day, so that I can be at work on Monday. Moreover, it is an opportunity to tell her she is the best thing that has happened to my life.

**Lets hear your own story....

Parking survey reveals amazing results between genders

2011-02-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

Are you one of those that are gender-sensitive, especially when it comes to skilful driving involving the male and female folks? This piece of information may be of great interest to you.A recent survey that looks into parking came up with some interesting results that further question the human male's claim to superior driving abilities
The study looked at 100 male and female motorists who visited a particular Fitness Centre and used the car park.
Each subject's parking technique was rated on their ability to stay within the white lines, how many manoeuvres they needed to place the car in the space and the speed at which they parked.
It was amazing to find out that the women won two of the three categories, with men only coming out on top when it came to speed of parking.
DO YOU AGREE?
Sourse: Internet

The parable of the pipeline

2011-02-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

Burke Hedges is the author of The Parable of the Pipeline. The book explains how virtually anyone can leverage their time, relationships and money to become the millionaire next door. It has lessons for those who are determined to make it big in business. I see in it how competition can throw the other party out of business; I see foresight, endurance, diligence, large heart, etc.

The story of two cousins, Pablo and Bruno, as told in The Parable of the Pipeline, is brought to you today for your comment.
Once upon a time, long ago, two ambitious young cousins named Pablo and Bruno lived side by side in a small Italian village.

The young men were best buddies and big dreamers. They would talk endlessly about how some day, some way; they would become the richest men in the village. They were both bright and hard working. All they needed was an opportunity.

One day that opportunity arrived. The village decided to hire the two men to carry water from a nearby river to a cistern in the town square. The job went to Pablo and Bruno. Each man grabbed two buckets and headed to the river. By the end of the day, they had filled the town cistern to the brim. The village elder paid them one penny for each bucket of water.

“This is our dream come true!” shouted Bruno. “I can’t believe our good fortune.” But Pablo wasn’t so sure. His back ached and his hands were blistered from carrying the heavy buckets. He dreaded getting up and going to work the next morning and vowed to think of a better way of getting the water from the river to the village.

Pablo, the pipeline man

“Bruno, I have a plan,” Pablo said the next morning as they grabbed their buckets and headed for the river.

“Instead of lugging buckets back and forth for pennies a day, let’s build a pipeline from the river to the village.”

Bruno stopped dead in his tracks.

“A pipeline! Whoever heard of such a thing?” Bruno shouted.

“We’ve got a great job, Pablo. I can carry 100 buckets a day. At a penny a bucket, that’s a dollar a day! I’m rich! By the end of the week, I can buy a new pair of shoes. By the end of the month, a cow. By the end of the six months, I can build a new hut. We have the best job in town. We have weekends off and two weeks’ paid vacation every year. We’re set for life! Get out of here with your pipeline.”

But Pablo was not easily discouraged. He patiently explained the pipeline plan to his best friend. Pablo would work part of the day carrying buckets and then part of the day and weekends building his pipeline. He knew it would be hard work digging a ditch in the rocky soil. Because he was paid by the bucket, he knew his income would drop at first.

He also knew it would take a year, possibly two, before his pipeline would start to pay big dividends. But Pablo believed in his dream and he went back to work. Bruno and the rest of the villagers began mocking Pablo, calling him “Pablo the pipeline man.”

Bruno, who was earning almost twice as much money as Pablo, flaunted his new purchases. He bought a donkey outfitted with a new leather saddle, which he kept parked outside his new two storey hut. He bought flashy clothes and fancy meals in the inn. The villagers called him Mr. Bruno, and they cheered when he bought rounds at the tavern and laughed loudly at his jokes.

Small actions equal big results

While Bruno lay in his hammock on evenings and weekends, Pablo kept digging his pipeline. The first few months Pablo didn’t have much to show for his efforts. The work was hard – even harder than Bruno’s because Pablo was working evenings and weekends too.

But Pablo kept reminding himself that tomorrow’s dreams are built on today’s sacrifices. Day by day he dug, an inch at a time, “Inch by inch it’s a cinch,” he chanted to himself as he swung his pick axe into the rocky soil.

Inches turned into one foot… then 10 feet… then 20… 100…

“Short-term pain equals long-term gain,” he reminded himself, as he stumbled into his humble hut exhausted from another day’s work.

He measured his success by setting and meeting his daily goals, knowing that over time, the results would far exceed his efforts.

“Keep your eyes on the prize,” he repeated over and over, as he drifted off to sleep accompanied by the sounds of laughter from the village tavern.

“Keep your eyes on the prize…”

The tables are turned

Days turned into months. One day, Pablo realised his pipeline was halfway finished, which meant he only had to walked half as far to fill up his buckets! Pablo used the extra time to work on his pipeline. The completion date was advancing faster and faster.

During his rest breaks, Pablo watched his old friend Bruno lug buckets. Bruno’s shoulders were more stooped than ever. He was hunched in pain, his steps slowed by the daily grind. Bruno was angry and sullen, resenting the fact that he was doomed to carry buckets, day in and day out, for the rest of his life. He began spending less time in his hammock and more time in the tavern.

When the tavern’s patron saw Bruno coming, they’d whisper, “Here comes Bruno the bucket man,” and they giggle when the town drunk mimicked Bruno’s stooped posture and shuffling gait. Bruno didn’t buy rounds or tell jokes anymore, preferring to sit alone in a dark corner surrounded by empty bottles.

Finally, Pablo’s big day arrived – the pipeline was complete!

The villagers crowded around as the water gushed out from the pipeline into the village cistern! Now that the village had a steady supply of water, people from the surrounding countryside moved into the village and it grew and prospered.

Once the pipeline was built, Pablo didn’t have to carry buckets anymore. The water flowed whether he worked or not. It flowed while he ate, it flowed while he slept, it flowed on the weekends when he played, the more water flowed into the village, the more the money flowed into Pablo’s pockets!

“Pablo, the pipeline man” became known as “Pablo, the miracle maker.” Politicians lauded him for his vision and begged him to run for mayor, but Pablo understood that what he had accomplished wasn’t a miracle; it was merely the first stage of a big, big dream.

You see, Pablo had plans that reached far beyond his village. Pablo planned to build pipelines all over the world!

Recruiting his friend to help

The pipeline drove Bruno, ‘the bucket man’ out of business and it pained Pablo to see his old friend begging for free drinks in the tavern. So, Pablo arranged a meeting with Bruno.

“Bruno, I’ve come here to ask you for your help.”

Bruno straightened his stooped shoulders, and his dark eyes narrowed to a squint. “Don’t mock me,” Bruno hissed.

“I haven’t come here to gloat,” said Pablo. “I’ve come here to offer you a great business opportunity. It took me more than two years before my first pipeline was complete. But I’ve learned a lot during the two years! I know what tools to use, where to dig, how to lay the pipe. I kept notes as I went along and I’ve developed a system that will allow me to build another pipeline… and then another… and another.”

“I could build a pipeline a year by myself but that would not be the best use of my time. What I plan to do is to teach you and others how to build a pipeline… and then have you teach others…and have each of them to teach others… until there is a pipeline to every village in the region… then a pipeline in every village in the country… and eventually a pipeline in every village in the world!”

“Just think,” Pablo continued, “we could make a small percentage of every gallon of water that goes through these pipelines. The more water flows through the pipelines, the more money will flow into our pockets. The pipeline I built isn’t the end of a dream. It’s only the beginning!

Pipeline dreams in a bucket carrying world
Years passed. Pablo and Bruno had long since retired. Their worldwide pipeline business was still pumping millions of dollars a year into their bank accounts. Sometimes on their trips throughout the countryside, Pablo and Bruno would pass young men carrying water buckets. The childhood friends would pull over and tell the young men their story and offer to help them build their pipeline. A few would listen and jump at the opportunity to start a pipeline business.
But sadly, most bucket carriers would hastily dismiss the notion of a pipeline. Pablo and Bruno heard the same excuses over and over.
“I don’t have the time.”
“My friend told me he knew a friend of a friend who tried to build a pipeline and failed.”
“Only the ones who get in early make money on pipelines.”
“I’ve carried buckets all my life. I’ll stick with what I know.”
“I know some people who lost money in a pipeline scam. Not me.”
It made Pablo and Bruno sad that so many people lacked vision. But both men resigned themselves to the fact that they lived in a bucket-carrying world… and that only a small percentage of people dared to dream pipeline dreams.
Are you a pipeline builder or a bucket carrier?

Too young to be a mother

2011-02-01T04:40:00.000-08:00

Olaogun Dunsimi

For decades, teenage pregnancy has been an issue in both developed and developing countries, as four out of 10 girls either get pregnant or procure abortion before they reach the age of 20.
Olaogun Dunsimi writes on the experiences of two teenage girls and why it seems little is being done to curb it.
Pelumi Ibukun manages not to appear sluggish as she makes her way along the tarred road, but it did not last long as she feels tired already, so she walks lazily along. Her protruding tummy is surely taking its toll on her small frame, as she is in already in the seventh month of her pregnancy, and she is just 17.
These days, teenage pregnancy is a scourge that is on the increase. And more teenagers are being victims of peer pressure and rape on a daily basis. Yet pregnant teenagers are being regarded as one of ‘the usual thing.’
However, for affected teenagers, it is one of the most difficult experiences they are forced to face especially when their schooling and other important plans are interrupted. The situation in most cases creates an emotional crisis, resulting in feelings of shame or fear, and most times, such a person may crumble under pressure.
Even the thought of breaking such news to parents seems an impossible task to most teenagers that is why in rare cases girls tend to ignore the pregnancies, thereby causing health problems and risks to their lives at the end of the day.
Most teenagers don’t plan on getting pregnant when you ask them, but many do anyway.
Mary Ogonebu got pregnant at the age of 16. She says: “it was of my own making, I let the influence of friends override my thought, decision and parental training, and since I got pregnant things have not been the same for me, at home, with family members, friends, neighbours, etc. I have been ostracised by my friends, but with the help of my immediate family, it has been a little bearable,” she laments.
There are several cases where persons in this sort of situation are treated with extreme reaction and dejections, and such denial of love, care and social support from family members or friends can cause complications throughout the pregnancy period or during child birth or other health risk to the mother.
This can also result in high blood pressure, premature birth; low birth weight and in some cases, death of either the mother or baby, especially when the reproductive organs of these teens are not yet mature.
In Akungba Akoko, a village in Ondo State, majority of the women became mothers while in their teens. Those within childbearing age became mothers long before their time. The rate of these pregnant teens is on the rise because nothing is being done to check the situation especially in the rural areas. More importantly, there isn’t any form of education given to these people.
The United Nations says about 53,000 women in Nigeria die annually of pregnancy related illnesses, but teenage mothers are at more risk because of poverty, lack of access to health care, and a culture that does not like to talk about sex.
Our culture, the Nigerian culture to be precise, forbids teenage pregnancy except in the northern region where girls are married off at a tender age. Most parents ‘hush’ their children from talking about sex or discourage them from participating in any informative discussion about it.
Even this creates a communication gap between parents and their children. If talking about such subject is so weird to them, how are teens supposed to learn about things they ought to be knowledgeable about? How are they going to learn about the repercussion of taking such decisions or actions?
Other causes of teenage pregnancy are inadequate knowledge of safe sex, exploitation by older men, and socio-economic factors, whereby teenage girls from poor families are more likely to get pregnant due to their poverty condition.
The Nigerian government, with support from international aid organisations, is trying to reduce the high rate of maternal and infant mortality, which is good, but what is being done in terms of preventing early pregnancies? How many campaigns have been done on radio, television, newspapers, etc, in the rural settings to create effective awareness?
Research has also shown that 80 percent of teenage pregnancies are unintended. The government, non-governmental organisations, corporate bodies should contribute their own quota to the society in this area, thereby bringing about an effective, positive change in the minds of teenagers, in order to reduce the rate of teenage pregnancy in the country.
It is also important for parents to really think and take appropriate steps to correct this problem among the teens. Or would you want to see your teenage daughter come home pregnant someday? No? So if not, do something about it!

Today's Marriage Quote

2011-02-01T04:32:00.000-08:00

From Sheri & Bob Stritof, your Guide to Marriage

Nikki Giovanni
"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts."
Be Uplifting
Instead of putting yourself or your spouse down, be uplifting instead. Find ways of helping your spouse to have a positive self image.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW OF ASA's FATHER

2011-01-31T03:38:00.000-08:00

This interview was first published by National Life 2009 and was conducted by Akin Orimolade...

EXCLUSIVE interview of Engineer Akin Elemide, father of Asa, world-acclaimed song writer and singer, Bukola Elemide.

ASA

Engineer Akin Elemide is the father of the world-acclaimed song writer and singer, Bukola Elemide, who we all know as Asa.
In a recent interview, Engr. Elemide, father of our, spoke about his principled life, how Asa was able to walk her way through fame, among other things of interest. Enjoy.

Who is Engineer Akin Elemide?

I am a telecoms engineer, trained in France. I studied in France, Paris. I worked in the Nigerian Embassy in Paris particularly with the Nigerian permanent delegation in UNESCO in the late 70’s and 80’s. I came back to Nigeria in 1983 for my youth service. I left my family there. When I finished my youth service, I went back to bring them in 1984.

Tell us about your family?

I have four children; three boys and one girl. My wife is a Nigerian and the daughter I’m talking about is the popular singer, Asa.
Do you know how she came about the stage name, ASA?

When I brought my family back to Nigeria in 1984, Asa was still very young. She was not used to the terrain. She was always fast and swift. So an elderly man in our neighbourhood at FESTAC then, would nickname her hawk (meaning Asa) because of her swiftness. The name stuck to her and she decided to use it as her identity in music.
There have been insinuations about her place of birth. Some say she was born in Nigeria while some say she is a French citizen. Could you please clear the air on that?

She was born in Paris but we hail from Abeokuta, so she is an indigene of Ogun State, Itoko Abeokuta, Nigeria.

So, you actually supported her coming into music?

Music has been part of her from childhood because I love music myself, most especially philosophical lyrics. I listen the Yusuf Olatunji type, and that of Ayinla Omowura, Haruna Ishola and Bob Marley. And when I listened to music I would make sure my children were around, so Asa was always by my side, and being a girl that had flair for music, and the fact that we are Celestians also contributed to her success in music. So, it would be right to say that the church exposed her to handling musical instruments, as she could play konga, setting drums and what have you. Initially, I didn’t take cognizance of her passion for music until a family friend called my attention to it. In my family, we are lawyers, engineers or medical doctors. In fact, I wanted Asa to be a lawyer because I was following her talent in music. I was always watching my kids’ interest and I’ve always been there to assist them realize their ambition. So, when Asa came to me to say she wanted to go into music, I had to give her my blessing. She later got admission into the Lagos State University but something happened along the line.
And what was that..?

I was to give her some money for the school but I was robbed. And at that time, things were a little bit difficult. She came back to me and say’ Daddy, I want to go and study music’. She asked me, ‘Daddy, do you trust me? I said yes. And at that point, I gave her the money to go and study music in Badagry. It was there she learnt how to play guitar and other musical instruments professionally. Now, in 1996 I had to relocate my family to Jos because at that particular time, school fee became too high in Lagos. So, I can say that the robbery incident disallowed her to continue with her education at LASU. Bukky is one girl whose achievements I’m so very proud of.
Are you worried that she is still single at this age?

If it pleases her to marry anytime soon, it is fine by me. But we need to God for favour. Of course, she is not getting any younger but my advice as father is, she must be very watchful and be careful while choosing her future partner.
Why do you still ride on motorcycle despite your daughter’s standing in the society?

Life is easier when you decide to take it easy. I have always to live in the midst of people. So, sometimes, I would park my car and ride on bike. That is no big deal.

2011-01-23T09:58:00.001-08:00

Today's Marriage Tip

Courtesy

Being courteous with one another does count. Remember to say "please" and "thank you". Keep your promises, remember important days, be on time. Treat your spouse as you would a stranger you want to impress.

2011-01-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

Funny Marriage Quotes

When Marriage Vows Become Marriage Woes!

Marriages may be made in heaven, but they sure have to be managed right here on earth. That's easier said than done. Take a dig at the funny side of marriage. These funny marriage quotes are good stress busters. They make you laugh at the banalities of marriage. When you read funny marriage quotes, you realize that even a perfect marriage has its inherent flaws but those flaws add to the charm of marriage.

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.
Bill Cosby
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

Patrick Murray
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
Gloria Steinem
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Groucho Marx
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

Agatha ChristieAn archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Milton Berle
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Henry Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Joyce Brothers
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.

Homer
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye-to-eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.
Lord Byron
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Katharine Hepburn
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married.

Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Been falsely accused by friends, family or foes?

2009-10-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

Ayo Busari grew up being loved by everyone, family, friends, class mates, etc, he was both very good looking as well as intelligent, and these always make people give him special attention, gifts, and favours even when he never asked for them.

But one striking quality in Ayo was his humbleness and respect for people. He mixes freely with both adults and his mates, from his primary school days to higher institution, he was never out of company or friends or lacked admirers; people just want to be his friend. But all these changed one day when he was framed or falsely accused of doing something that tarnished his image among friends and family.

What can be more painful in life in the hours when you need people to believe in you and they do just the opposite? How does it feel to be misunderstood, slandered, or falsely accused? What do you do in such times?

Ayo Busari says his experience taught him an unforgettable lesson in life, never to trust anyone but you. “I thought I had perfect friends, I mean close pals that I could do anything for, I never knew some of them had reservations for me and never told me about how they felt. I was betrayed by my best friend, Mike and cousin. Its was just unimaginable, it was like I was dreaming, because everyone in my family knew Mike, and when my closest cousin accused me of something as terrible as rape, and Mike corroborated the story, I was not believed for the first time in my life, and I felt like dying.”

False accusations, betrayals, or even something as little as gossip, can destroy lives, especially if the accused is innocent. To be a target of vicious lies can ruin lives and reputation.

“I was devastated, and two of them stuck to their guns, and I was innocent, it’s as if they were possessed with something! My mother cried for days and my dad refused to acknowledge my presence, I was seen as a taboo and the most painful of all was that my girlfriend and dearest friends deserted me. I was alone, it was my words against theirs, it was a painful experience I will never forget in my life, but I was vindicated at last when my cousin opened up, and at that time things had degenerated to a stage that my mother was hospitalised over the issue, I think that was what got to my cousin, she confessed to my father and later travelled abroad due to the shame of it all. That was when I found out that all the pain and embarrassment was all caused by envy, my friend, Mike and my cousin were both envious of me, for how long, I never knew.”

Omo Sanni also had a similar experience as a teenager. “I was about 14 years old when it happened. I can never forget the feeling of helplessness and agony of being falsely accused. I hear it all the time and see it on movies on television but never assume it will happen to me, but it did.

“I was in my mother’s shop one day (she sells provision; food stuff, soft drinks, and my elder sister and I usually sell for her when she’s not available. On this particular Saturday afternoon, I sat there with my elder sister just gisting away when my mum came back. Suddenly, there was commotion at the next shop located beside my mother’s. The woman started shouting at the top of her voice that her money has been stolen from where she kept it in the morning.

“We were all concerned and all trooped into the shop to help her search for the missing money including the tree other young girls she left to over see the shop in her absence. The girls denied taking the money, the owner searched, threatened and cursed whoever took the money, but the money did not come out.

“About three hours later, my sister and I left for home, leaving only my mum behind. So we were very surprised some minutes after we got home that my mum and the woman in company of her three apprentices, came into the house. And to everyone’s dismay openly declared that it was me that stole the money. At first it was as if I was dreaming, but my mother’s voice brought me back to reality when she asked me in a disbelieving voice if I was the one that took the money. I wanted to cry, shout and faint at the same time, but my elder sister spoke up for me, she pointed out clearly that I was with her the whole time and never even entered the woman’s shop, not to talk of taking her money at all, and what were her girls doing at this time of robbery? Nobody answered, and I started to protest, finding confidence in my sister’s support. But to my utmost surprise, the woman said she was not convinced and brought out a Bible, which she proudly said would reveal the culprit after she’s done.

“She tied the Bible from end to end, inserted a key into it and told two people to hold the key from its angles, so only two fingers held the key as the Bible was held in space. It was as if we were all in a trance, she started calling everybody’s name present at the shop that day, her girls, my sister, everybody, and the key did not turn, immediately she mentioned my name, the bible turned! I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life!

“I looked at my sister and her mouth was agape, wide open in amazement, then I started to cry because I knew nothing can save me from that single action. But I knew till date that I didn’t take that money and only my elder sister believed me because even when my mother was beating me that evening she was crying and shouting for all to hear that I was not the one that took the money, she was there the whole time and I can’t ever forget being humiliated and branded a thief when I never stole anything.

“We never found out who took the money to this day, but I knew it was not me, it was the most embarrassing day of my life.”

Life is full of riddles, some unexplainable, others one can dismiss with the wave of the hand, but whatever life offers, Tony Madueke, doctor, says one has to accept that there is no way such experiences can be erased immediately.

“Such events can cause trauma, psychiatrist disorder or low self esteem that can be self destructive as one grows. In the midst of unfair and untrue accusations, you need to get real, and be willing to forgive and forget in future. Understand that people might come forward to admit they were wrong or might not. It is up to you to put this behind you. So, give yourself what you wish you could receive from others, forgive them and say openly to yourself ‘I know I didn’t do it,’ and never seclude or hate yourself or react quickly to what you think people are saying about you. Don’t be intimidated, feel guilty or shrink away because of what people think or put yourself in a prison.

“Most importantly, never fall into the trap of acting out with non-directional frustration at people that love you or care, because the stress that comes with being wrongly accused can lead a person to lash out at those closest to them. Remember that the enemy isn’t your loved ones, but an outside force.”