Tips on Dating

Teen Dating Violence: What Every Girl Should Know

2009-08-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest lessons that you’ll ever have to learn is not Chemistry, Calculus or even the laws of Physics. It has nothing to do with history, English Literature or understanding why Maya Angelou’s caged bird sings. It’s how to recognize and get out of an abusive relationship.

Perhaps he only hits you when he’s angry. Maybe he doesn’t hit you at all. Instead he calls you names, tells you that you’re nothing without him and tries to control every move you make. Or maybe he doesn’t do any of these things but there’s a little voice inside your head telling you that YOU’RE TREADING ON DEADLY GROUND. You can’t quite put your finger on it.

You’re not entirely sure how to explain it. But you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s something horribly wrong going on. You’re too afraid to ask for help, but too afraid not to. Paralyzed by fear and blinded by love you don’t know which way to turn or how to set yourself free. If this is happening to you, then you are in an abusive relationship. Regardless of what he tells you or what you may think, you don’t have to take it. And believe it or not, you are not alone. Studies show that one out of five women have experience violence or emotional intimidation in their relationships.

Dating violence is very serious, because many of these relationships end in hospitalizations and some even end in death. And just like you, they all thought it wouldn’t happen to them. This is why it is critical that you seek help and get out if you are in an abusive relationship. The longer you stay the worse your situation will get. I know it’s hard to imagine being without him because you love him and you really want to believe that things will get better. But they won’t unless you leave.

Laurie age 19 says, “ The first time my boyfriend hit me, I couldn’t believe it. He saw me kiss one of my male friends on the cheek and totally flipped out. He waited until we were alone, dragged me behind the building and beat me down to the ground. He told me that it was my fault because I shouldn’t be kissing on other guys when I already have a boyfriend. Could you believe that I stayed with him for two more years after that?”

Michelle age 17 says, “ Rick was the most popular guy in school. I couldn’t believe he wanted to go out with me. He could have any girl he wanted and he chose me. He had a nice car, bought me jewelry and made me feel like I was special. But three months into the relationship things changed. He would call me a bitch or a whore if I even looked at another guy. He told me if I ever left him he would kill me. I didn’t believe him until he took out a gun and pulled the trigger. Luckily it wasn’t loaded.”

Brenda age 21 says, “ I’ve been with Miguel since I was 16. We use to play fight but then it would turn serious. He would choke me and pull my hair. He told me that no one else wanted me because I was fat. I was carrying his baby that’s why I was fat. But he didn’t care. sometimes if he got real angry he hit me in my stomach. He blames me for everything. Half the time I didn’t know what was wrong. If he went out all night with his friends I was supposed to sit by the phone and wait. But if I wanted to hang out with my friends Miguel would have a fit.

Even though he hit me it was the name-calling that hurt me the most. I can take a punch, but I don’t like him calling me a “bitch”.
If you or someone you know is in a situation like Laurie, Michelle, or Brenda then you have got to get help and get out . Dating violence happens everywhere and with all kinds of people. Violence is not a normal part of dating. It is not healthy. Hitting and jealousy are not signs of love they are signs of control. Every violent relationship has the potential of ending in murder. Even if the guy doesn’t mean to kill his girlfriend it can happen. Are you willing to take that chance?

What Is Relationship Abuse?

Relationship abuse occurs when you are threatened, coerced, intimidated, insulted or assaulted by the person you are in a relationship with. Relationship abuse is not the same as having an argument. In an abusive relationship one person is afraid of, or intimidated by the other. Relationship abuse does not just happen one time, it is something that happens over and over again. There are three kinds of relationship abuse: emotional, physical, and sexual.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be difficult to detect because it’s not as obvious as physical or sexual abuse – but it is damaging none the less. Emotional abuse includes name calling, put downs, being told that you are worthless or ugly, being unfavorably compared to other females, being humiliated, embarrassed, threatened, and ordered around.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is hitting, pushing, slapping, kicking, and pulling your hair, punching, choking, throwing things at you or pulling weapons out on you. Physical abuse usually becomes more violent as the relationship progresses. The longer you stay the worse the beatings get. Physical abuse is used to scare you, restrain you and control you. Hitting is not an act of love. It is an act of violence.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse occurs when you are forced, intimidated, manipulated or coerced into participating in a sexual act which can include intercourse, oral sex, fondling or any other type of sexual act. Perhaps he didn’t force you to have sex but he coerced , intimidated or manipulated you into having sex. That’s still sexual abuse and it is not your fault. Maybe he threatened to leave you or spread rumors about you if you didn’t have sex with him. If he did then you were coerced. And you don’t have to take it.

What Are Warning Signs That Will Tell You If Your Boyfriend Has The Potential To Be An Abuser?

The reason so many young women get trapped in abusive relationships is because they don’t know what the early warning signs are. Answer these questions and find out if your boyfriend has the potential to be an abuser.

· Is your boyfriend jealous and possessive?

· Does he try to tell you who to talk to and who you should be friends with?

· Does he become angry and agitated the moment you talk to another guy?

· Does he constantly accuse you of flirting with other guys or cheating on him?

· Does he tell you what to wear? · Has he ever called you out of your name?

· Does he try to make you feel guilty if you cannot see him?

· Does he ask you your whereabouts whenever he’s unable to reach you?

· Does he try to isolate you from your friends and family?

· Does he have a violent temper?

· Have you ever seen him call another female out of her name?

· Do you find yourself apologizing to your friends for your boyfriend’s remarks or behaviors?

· Does he threaten to leave you if you don’t do what he wants?

· Does he insist on seeing you during all of your free time?

· Do you feel you have to ask him permission before you make a decision?

· Does he spy on you or call you constantly to see what you are doing?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then your boyfriend has the potential to be an abuser. Pay attention to the warning signs and listen to your intuition. If you think that you may be in danger then leave before it’s too late. Talk your feelings through with someone you trust and listen to what your intuition is telling you to do. Don’t make excuses and don’t try to talk yourself out of your feelings.

Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

Many young women do not realize that their relationship is abusive because their boyfriends behave like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. One day he is loving and attentive the next day he is violent and enraged. Abusive relationships become more violent over time. Usually an abuser doesn’t start hitting his girlfriend until he feels comfortable in the relationship or she tries to leave him. For your own safety and well-being you need to know if your relationship is abusive. You may have even noticed that there is a predictable pattern to your relationship. Your boyfriend’s moods and behavior may go back and forth in a cycle. This is known as the cycle of violence. I’ll explain this cycle as we go along.

To figure out if you are in an abusive relationship ask yourself these questions.

· Are you afraid of, or intimidated by your boyfriend? · Have you ever lied to your friends and family to cover up your boyfriend’s behavior?

· Are you afraid to make new friends, because you don’t want to upset your boyfriend?

· Has your boyfriend ever pressured you to do something that made you feel dirty or uncomfortable?

· Has your boyfriend ever put you down, ridiculed you or hurt you in any way?

· Does he slap, shove, kick, shake, pull your hair or throw things at you?

· Has he ever threatened you?

· Has he ever pulled a weapon out on you?

· Do you not see friends and family because of his jealousy?

· Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in order to keep him happy?

· Have you been secretive or afraid to tell others about your boyfriend?

· Does he drink, use drugs then becomes violent?

· Does he follow you or constantly make you check in with him?

· Has he ever threatened to hurt you, someone you love, or himself if you leave him?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you are in an abusive relationship. You may think it’s no big deal. But it is, because it will only get worse. The reason it is so difficult to end an abusive relationship is because an abuser is not always behaving abusively. This is the cycle of violence that I referred to earlier. Barrie Levy author of, “ In Love and In Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships,” says that every abusive relationship goes through a three-tier cycle.

Stage 1. The Tension Building Stage

This is the stage where the tension begins to build. You boyfriend becomes more irritable, agitated and explosive. He blows up over little things, lashes out and is extremely critical of you. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells or stay out of his way in order to keep him calm. The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Stage 2. The Explosion Stage

This is the stage where your boyfriend strikes out – either physically or verbally. He calls you names, throws things at you or assaults you. The longer you stay together the worse the explosions become. Perhaps this time it was a shove or a slap, maybe next time it will be a punch, a kick, or a visit to the emergency room.

Stage 3. Honeymoon Stage

This is the stage where he tells you how sorry he is and swears that it will never happen again. This is what keeps the two of you together. He promises to control his temper. You promise not to upset him. He buys you flowers and candy or writes you passionate love letters. He tells you how much he loves you and that you are the center of his universe. You both make excuses. And you take him back hoping he really means it this time.

What Can You Do If You Are Being Abused?

If you are in an abusive relationship seek help and get out. Talk to someone who can help – a counselor, a teacher, your family, a minister or a trusted friend. There is a listing of helpful numbers in the resource section of this book that can help you figure out your options. There are people who want to help you. You do not have to go through this experience alone. You’ve already taken the first step by reading this chapter. You can begin helping yourself by recognizing that you are lovable, capable and worthwhile and you have the power to heal from this experience. You may feel ashamed, afraid, alone or even depressed but you can move past this and come out stronger. What you need most is time and support to heal. You deserve to be safe. You deserve love that is not violent or abusive. You deserve to go to bed at night not feeling afraid. Here are some things that you can do to be safe.

Take The Abuse Seriously

Dating violence is serious business. You’ve got to take your situation seriously if you want the abuse to stop. Insist that your boyfriend go for counseling to get the help he needs. If you are not ready then at least take a time out period from your relationship until he completes an anger management or counseling program. If he refuses then you must leave for good.

Talk to Someone

Tell someone what is happening. Talk to your family or a trained professional who can help you work through your feelings. You need support to figure out what to do. Talking to your friends can help you get your feelings out but you need the support of your family along with a professional to get through this. If you have been in an abusive relationship for a while, friends and family may already suspect what is going on. They want to help but they may not know how. Keep talking until you find someone who can help you feel safe.

Develop A Safety Plan

If you think that your boyfriend will become violent when you try to cool things off or leave him plan for your safety. Think about whatever you can do not to be alone with him or in the same vicinity. Arrange for friends and family to meet you after school or work. Walk to and from classes with other people. Let your family, roommates or answering machine screen your calls. If you are going out, make sure that someone knows where you are how to contact you, and what time you are coming back. This way if you are not back at that time you said you would be, someone can look for you or call the police.

Plan for Your Safety Now

I will have important numbers on me at all times.
My local precinct # __________________ Counselors # _______________
Friends # ________________________
Domestic Violence Hotline # _________________________
I can tell ________________ and _________________ about my situation and ask them to call the police if they hear or see anything suspicious
If I need a place to stay I can go to (list 3 places) _____________________
_________________________ ____________________________
I can avoid places that I’ll see my ex such as
__________________ __________________ ___________________
If I feel like going back to him I will call __________________ to talk things through and help me figure out what to do.

Let the legal system help you

Your boyfriend’s violence against you is a crime. You can go to the police, your principle, the counselor or the campus security to a file a complaint. You can also get an order of protection against him which is an order by the court that says your abuser has to stay away from you. If he violates the order then he can be arrested. Domestic violence is a serious matter and it’s also against the law.

Join a Support Group

Sometimes it helps to talk to other people who are going through the same situation as you. A support group is a safe place to share your experiences, listen to the experiences of others and figure out how to handle problems when they arise. You don’t have to worry about feeling stupid or being judged because everyone in the group is going through a similar situation. To find a support group in your area speak to a counselor at school, a friend or call one of the hotlines listed in the resource section of this book and ask for a listing of places to go for help.

Do positive things that boost your self-esteem

Spend time with old friends and start making new ones. The simple task of keeping yourself busy will do wonders for your self-esteem. Join a community service project. You will be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when you’re doing good deeds and helping others. Not to mention the great new friends you will make. Take a workshop. Read a good book. Listen to music – no sad songs. Fix up your bedroom. Make a gift basket for a friend or family member who you haven’t seen for a while. The more you get out, the more you’ll realize how much fun life can be without him.

Building a healthy relationship takes work and emotional maturity

In a healthy relationship you are not afraid of your boyfriend. When one of you gets angry you find a healthy way to resolve the situation. You are able to spend time alone and do things together. You do not feel pressured to have sex. You feel appreciated and cared for. The bottom line is dangerous love can turn into deadly obsession. And there is no good reason to subject yourself to that. While it may be frightening to leave a violent relationship it’s far more dangerous to stay. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You deserve to be safe. It’s your life and you have the power to take control of it. Look how far you’ve come already. Romantic love can be exciting, passionate and sometimes addicting. But what you have to keep in mind is when he loves you to death he may send you to the grave to prove it.

Copyright © 2000 by Cassandra Mack
Cassandra Mack, MSW is the CEO of Strategies for Empowered Living and the author of "Cool, Confident and Strong: 52 Power Moves for Girls." She produces and hosts an internet talk radio show, The No More Drama Hour of Power, which can be heard by going to: http://www.caribworldradio.com To find out more about the author go to: http://www.strategiesforempoweredliving.com

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Reasons Why Girls Date Older Men

2009-08-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Girls date older men all the time and society has really witnessed the cases increase. Dating older men for young girls comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. Many girls have opted for men who are older than them ignoring all the disadvantages that are present. This article seeks to explore the reasons why girls date older men.

It is vital to mention that the trend or practice is not just rampant in modern settings but, in traditional settings as well. In the traditional setting, many girls are married of even without their consent. Their parents are involved in arranging the marriages and, the girls end up being together with older men. The main reason for this is financial gain.

This example is a bit different although, there are girls in the traditional settings who voluntarily opt to be married to older men. In the modern setting, a young girl will have many reasons; the following is an overview of some of those reasons.

The main reasons why girls date older men are because of financial security and stability. Older guys will tend to have it made and, many will be blessed with some few investments and money. This is a lucrative thing and when girls realize that they can take advantage of this, they go for it. In other words, many young girls have become gold diggers. However, it is also valid to say that older men know exactly what the girls are after and therefore do not mind as they encourage the trend. After all, there is something in for them. Older guys like the excitement of young vibrant souls in their lives.

The buzz keeps them on their toes as they seek to have great romantic getaways. Reasons why girls date older men are for emotional security also. Young men are a bit rough and mainly unstable when it comes to relationships. Older guys know what they want and are more decisive and mature. For this reason, young girls can depend on the older guys to provide this.

Therefore, there are girls who are genuinely in search of love and affection. Girls date older men to get back at their peers. This can be a revenge mission where everything is centered on teaching the people they really love a lesson. Older guys are mainly untouchable and respected and, this is a plan that mainly works when one is truly lucky. Another reason for dating older men by girls is for the purpose of getting ahead. The girls may want favors which are not necessarily money. Many young girls have gotten the deals and breakthroughs they were looking for, just because of dating older guys.

Whatever your reason for dating the men is, remember one thing. Life might not give you fifth or sixth chances of true love and, when you are young, it is best to seek that real genuine love that will not waiver in the end; regardless of what age the man is. Love is about living life to the fullest and enjoying yourself with clean fun everyday.

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3 Do's and 3 Dont's For Dating Professionals

2009-07-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

Dating. Relationships. Ambitions. Career. Love. Do these all fall into different baskets or can they all co-exist? I recently went to a single's mingling event in my hometown. As somewhat as a first timer to these types of events, I really didn't know what to expect so I thought instead of just participating, I would observe and report what I noticed and my personal expertise and experiences in dating and finding that right person as a working professional.

In today's society, we have been cultured to take life in the fast lane. Whether it is Starbucks, or drive through dining, or even the purchase of goods and services online...we have created a way of life that removes steps from everyday actions. Why do we do this? I think the answer is time. As a working professional, my time and others are valued at a cost...a wage, a client, an opportunity. So, how do we co-mingle the inherent way of life that us working professionals live, and also try to find a partner?

Having a strong background in interpersonal relationships, and psychology...I think the answer is that working professionals must take that discretionary time that we actually have, to seek out new and those people who can relate to our way of life and who understand how living in the fast lane can affect your social and dating life.

Getting back to the even that I attended, I noticed that many people grouped together. Some co-workers went with other co-workers, and the men (especially) seemed to group together that were there alone to find a common thing to talk about because it was the easier solution that trying to connect with someone from the opposite sex to evaluate whether or not there is a chemistry. There have been many books and movies recently to be released citing how Men and Women are much different, and how they mature at different ages. There have also been many theories about how to hook that someone that you are after. However, dating is not fishing. Indeed, there are many fish in the sea, and I think that this is what it truly boils down to. With so many college graduates entering the workplace and executives that travel extensively...the pool doesn't shrink, it is just a bit more difficult to take a dive into that dating pool. With that said, I think there are 3 do's and 3 don'ts to dating as a working professional.

First, the do's. Number 1: Opportunities are created everyday for meeting others. Find a local place where others hang out, and go alone. Introduce yourself to as many people as possible until a conversation evolves. Relationships begin with conversation, I think we can all agree that communication is an integral part in business and in our personal lives. Number 2: When the topic of work comes up...be honest, but make it short. Don't use your time with someone to discuss work...learn about the other person. Learn about them and who they are...their likes, dislikes, and common interests. Number 3: As much as it could seem trite. Go online. I have many colleagues whom have met their match on dating websites. There are an abundance of them out there and quite a few are geared toward dating professionals. Join a site, give it a shot. See if it's right for you or not, but especially those who might be intimidated a bit by approaching the opposite sex. This could be a great solution for you...and is proven to work, and in turn...goes with the theory of living in the fast lane. It allows you to put the information you would would to know or provide to someone without letting your guard down for rejection.

Now, the Don'ts. Number 1: Don't feel like you are the only one in your shoes. There is a gigantic amount of working professionals who are single and are looking for partnership. Number 2: Don't be afraid to let down your guard just a bit. Communication is based on send and receive...so don't let a wall get in the way of that. Be yourself and don't try to impress or put up a front for someone. Lastly...Number 3: This is probably the most important of all. Do not play games. As working professionals, most of us are about the bottom line or about facts and opportunity. Games only complicate your efforts and typically will end up just wasting the time that you spend in your efforts to find that special someone.

It all comes down to this...as a working professional, we all should be at least adequate at one common thing. Time management. Find the right solution for you in order to make time for dating and meeting other common professionals. This is not only a good thing for business/networking, but opens up a breadth of opportunity to improve your personal life and personal aspirations to co-exist with the career, the ambitions, and the life you already lead.

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How to Date a Nigerian Girl

2009-07-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

Can someone please tell me why Nigerian guys are more confident than Nigerian girls (ladies, women which ever description you choose) in uploading a picture onto the growing number of Nigerian dating sites we have on the market? There are so many guys who have uploaded their pictures. However, you look up the typical Nigerian lady profile and you don't find a picture? Shy, do you say? Well, I say it's probably because at one time or the other we have felt that online dating is for those who are 'impotent' to find someone offline?! Someone tell Nigerian girls to upload a picture...

HOW TO DATE A NIGERIAN GIRL?

The factors that create relationships are the same online or offline. I stand to be corrected but women are the same the world over and quickly respond to the same set of factors. We would all know by now that the typical woman out there wants to feel loved, wanted and I believe a secured feeling is a sine-qua-non for women. Let me explain with an example, a Nigerian guy was talking about his girl (she was Nigerian by the way) the other day and he said, 'we have a house which we are renting and the natural thing is to begin to think about a mortgage so we can stop paying rent and obviously have a house of our own'.

He went on, 'there is another thinking I had...lets buy a house and rent it out and get another one for ourselves and keep buying as many as we can because I was interested in investing in the property market'. She rejected the idea flatly...she wanted a warm and cosy house right away and was not thinking of some long term investment or whatever!

THE WHOLE IDEA

Men are naturally wired to be hunters and I think Nigerian men are very good hunters! Don't try to impress immediately with a show of strength; how big mouthed you are or how rich you are (women might love wealth but you end up with gold diggers if you flaunt wealth upfront). Have you heard the saying? Women fall in love through their EARS while men fall in love through their EYES!

You best bet on a Nigerian dating site is to write a profile describing your outdoor choices, music, pet dreams etc. Now, I realize that this doesn't work for all but it works for the majority! Don't be all egoistical when writing a profile, put yourself in her shoes and ask what you would love to know if you were the lady?! You also generally have to make the first move! It's disappeared in some places but Nigerian girls still believe largely in you making the first contact! So, purchase that subscription!

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Black People Meet - Find African American Dating Partners For Free

2009-07-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

Do you want to meet African Americans online for dates or casual encounters? There is actually a very simple method. It takes only a few minutes of your time.

A lot of people looking for African Americans online make the mistake of choosing an expensive niche service or a totally free dating service. Most people type black people meet into their favorite search engine. This brings up a diverse range of free and paid dating sites for African Americans. There are, however, problems with both types of site.

The niche dating site aimed, specifically, at African Americans are usually expensive and have few members. They are, on the whole, setup in order to take advantage of people looking for black dates. The membership fees can be as much as double that of regular sites. Turned off by the high prices man people opt for free dating sites. These are bad in a different way. Most of the profiles on these sites are fake, created by spammers who are selling everything from dating and cams to porn. These sites also sell your email address and profile information to mailing lists. Some mailing lists have been known to steal identities.

A much better way to find a black date or casual encounter is simply to get a free membership to a big, respectable dating site. These sites are regulated so you wont encounter spam or have your details sold to mailing lists. Their free accounts entitle you to do most things you would do with conventional free dating and even if you choose to upgrade you will pay half the price of niche sites.

So how do you use popular dating sites to find black dates? Easy. Just create a free account and a profile. In your profile state that you want to meet African Americans. This will encourage African Americans to visit your page through the internal search engine. You can also visit the search page yourself and put in a search for local black people. You can search by ethnicity, age, location, even height. Once you have a list of local black people you can add them as friends or send them messages. And, even on your free account, you will be able to receive messages and accept their friend requests.

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How to Get Any Girl's Attention Real Fast! - Women Will Swarm You Wherever You Go After You Read This

2009-07-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why you just cannot get the attention of any girl when you enter a room? Well it still isn't very late to learn a couple of useful tricks to get any girl's attention real fast, after all life will always offer you a second chance. Choose the right bag of tricks to woo a girl and see what a difference it will make to your life - go get her dude.

You are what your clothes show you to be - what you wear will always matter to every girl. So the next time you are out socializing with people - don't forget to dress up in the best possible manner. Use a dash of cologne or perfume which gels well with your personality - your clothes and accessories should set you off from the rest of the guys.

Attitude counts big time - always look confident when you enter a room. Keep a killer smile ready when you meet your friends as well as new people. A combination of confidence and friendliness always works well, as every girl appreciates these two qualities in a guy.

Compliment her - no girl can resist a good compliment, so don't miss any opportunity to praise her genuinely. Say something good about her which has not been said by anyone else - let it be something true and unique about her. This will definitely get the girl's attention totally towards you.

Be yourself - don't be a phony, this will put off most girls who are attending any social gathering. Instead don't be afraid to show your real nature especially if you are a nice guy at heart. If you are helpful by nature, continue doing that - most girls appreciate this quality in any guy.

Now listen carefully-

What you are about to discover something most men will never know when it comes to attracting women. This is one thing which is an absolute must know for every man out there. You are about to discover an ultimate secret weapon which will make women chase you around like crazy Even If You Are Bald, Fat Or Ugly!.....Trust me....You don't want to miss this one. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page because it might be the most important message you ever read Click Here

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Get My Ex Girlfriend Back - How to Woo My Ex Girlfriend Into My Arms Again

2009-07-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

The one thing you should remember if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is that she's hurting as much as you are. When a woman gets hurt, she is simply not going to give you an easy time to win her back. She is going to look forward in giving you a tough time. So be prepared to sacrifice a little bit of yourself if you seriously want your ex girlfriend back. There are two ways on how you can try to get your ex back.

The Typical Guy's Way

Most guys--and women do this too--start dating other people immediately after a breakup. What's worse is that they usually make sure that their ex girlfriend sees them with the other girl. Now, this could sometimes work because it gives off the impression that you are totally over her and that you've moved on. Most women who see their exes with other girls become jealous even if they don't want to admit it. Now, if this works for you, then your ex girlfriend might start flirting with you again to let you see that she is still interested to patch things up. The only problem with this is that you might end up hurting the other girls' feelings. You certainly do not want two girls hating you at the same time.

The Not-so-typical Guys' Way

Luckily, there are guys who like to use a different approach in getting their ex girlfriends back. This requires extra effort on your part. You can try to change your overall appearance. It doesn't have to be an insanely new image. You just try to clean yourself up. Shave, get new wardrobes, and get a new haircut. It will give her the impression that you have changed and you are turning over a new leaf. Hang out where she hangs out and if she greets you then pretend you didn't notice her or greet her but don't make a fuss about it. You can talk to her friends but make sure not to ask about her or her feelings. If your ex girlfriend sees that you're not suffering as much as she is hoping, then she might reconsider her decision. This will take you one step closer to getting your ex back.

Just be cautious and not overdo these things since you might end up making things worse than a simple attempt to get your ex girlfriend back.

Discover the exact words to say and actions to take using my proven success blueprint on how to get your ex back that has helped over 6000 couples stop and reverse their breakups and divorce worldwide.

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Birthday Gifts Ideas For Your Girl Friends

2009-07-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

Finding birthday gifts for your loved ones could be an onerous task as you have go on hunting the choicest gift for them and make sure that they like it as well. We are always struck in locating an appropriate gift for our loved ones. Here are a few gift ideas for all men, to find the perfect gift for their beloveds.

Well, to start with, nothing is more romantic than a bunch of choicest flowers for your girl friend. It might sound like a Victorian era romance, but to tell you the truth, most females fancy the idea of being wooed by a bunch of flowers, flavoured with all the love and romance, that can set the pulses on and rekindle the love in the eyes of your sweetheart. A surprise delivery at 12 midnight would surely sweep her from her feet.

A gold or diamond ring could also serve as a perfect gift item for your beloved, as that too indicates the pinnacle of love that you both have for each other. And if you put that in her wine glass and let her reveal it herself could be another trick which would mesmerise her, and you could propose her all over again in a much traditional and customary fashion. Surely, your woman would be bamboozled by this kind of pampering.

A perfect candlelight dinner in dim and romantic restaurant with light music, followed by a couple dance is another clichéd yet the most tried and tested way to woo back your sweetheart. If you thought that these methods are obsolete, redundant and are no more liked by girls, it would be a big mistake in being so much presumptuous. Because, deep inside, every girl dreams of being pampered in a traditional manner, in the same way as a fairly tale princess. She would be delighted to be treated in such a romantic fashion and surely, she would fall in love with you all over again!

You can also learn more about Gifts and Gadgets

Adam Jaylin is an Online Shopping expert at Rupiz Compare providing the latest info on Wedding Gifts

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How to Get a Girl to Like You - Woo Your Way Into Her Heart

2009-07-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

Do you want to find out the secret on how to get a girl to like you? Fear not, because there are solutions. Around half of the world's male population has a dilemma on how to steal the heart of the fairer sex just like you. Just what is it that women are made of, and what is it that gets them? This is a list of tips on how to get a girl to like you:

Be yourself.

To get people to like you, you only need to be yourself. Phoniness has never been a welcome trait. Trying to be someone you're not sends out a warning signal. Pretentiousness is a turn-off because people want to get to know other people for who and what they are.

Immerse yourself.

If you've always felt like a worm around the opposite sex, it's not the end of the world. Getting used to being around them may take some getting used to; but as with any brave exploit, it takes a degree of adjustment. Start with the basics.

Observe your own family. Take note of the interactions between family members of opposite sexes. If you're lucky enough to have been raised in a house full of women, then you'd at least have a rudimentary awareness of how to act around females. But if you've only ever interacted with male creatures your whole life, you'll have to work a little harder at it.

Try to be around women more and try to get to know how they tick. It won't help to avoid them at all costs just because you are daunted by them. Girls are vulnerable to bouts of low self-esteem, too. If you're apprehensive with dealing with a girl, keep in mind that girls wonder about how to get guys to like them as well.

Be nice.

"Nice" and "pleasant" mean two different things. Sure, you might be a pretty fun guy to be around with, but do you actually go out of your way to be a decent human being?

Help an old lady cross the street. Be a role model for kids to look up to. Be kind to animals. Being considerate to others, no matter the age, gender, or species, is sure to make any girl fall for you.

Of course, don't do it just to impress her. If all you're after are the brownie points, your efforts will only blow up in your face, painfully.

Clean up your act.

Some girls may find James Dean types rather appealing. That, however, is no alibi for you to skip the shower. A guy can be the most jaw-dropping Adonis, but it's a given the girls will run away from him like he's leprosy personified if he stinks like a skunk.

Be a friend.

Yes, nonromantic relationships between people of the opposite sexes do exist. In some cases, pure friendship relationships can even lead to romantic relationships. But whether or not you'd like to take it that far, keep in mind that girls weren't put on earth to be chased after and captured like prize game.

There is a higher likelihood for her to enjoy your presence if you treat her with respect, listen well when she is talking, and provide support when she's not in her best element. Assure her of your clean intentions and don't make her feel like you're only after one thing (and we're all aware what that is).

Keep these tips on how to get a girl to like you in mind and you'll never go wrong with the ladies.

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How to Woo a Girl - 3 Behaviors of Successful Guys

2009-07-07T00:46:00.000-07:00

You want to know how to woo a girl? Have you ever wondered why some guys seem to be able to woo girls without any efforts while others just keep failing no matter how hard they try?

Well, there is really no secret. If you haven't been very successful, then it is about time you start to observe what other successful guys are doing. Generally, guys who are very successful with women exhibit the following behavior:

1) They are very confident with themselves. Well, girls are naturally attracted to men who are sure of themselves. Don't ask me why, it is just something subconscious. What women want are real men.

Successful guys remain calm and cool even when they see a very attractive woman. Most average men will go all out to complement an attractive lady, but this is usually not very effective.

Why?

An attractive lady knows she is attractive. Thousands of men have said that to her, so what makes you different from the other men? Act differently and don't be afraid to tease her. This will arouse her interest in you.

2) They treat women nicely but they don't go all the way out to please a woman. In fact, they don't need to. That is because their life doesn't revolve around a woman. They don't show signs of "Oh, I can't live without her". Nothing turns a woman off more than this type of mentality.

They also take the initiative to lead. They will not hesitate to make decision. An average guy usually try to please a woman too much, like asking her "Where do you want to go?" Successful man decides where to go and any woman is happy that the man takes the initiative to make the decision.

3) They are humorous. Girls like guys who know how to make them laugh. Laughter helps to ease away all tension. Unfortunately, most guys are not humorous by nature. However, if you are not humorous, don't worry too much about it.

Just like riding a bicycle, humor is a skill that can be developed. Here are a few ways to become more humorous. Firstly, hang out more with other guys that you find humorous. Their sense of humor will rub off you eventually. Secondly, be on the lookout for humorous materials. Watch stand up comedy. Some of those jokes may be suitable for use in a normal conversation. You just have to know how to adapt it.

Have you been listening to men's advice on dating? Do you really believe that a man can understand exactly what a woman wants?

Let a woman tells you exactly how to get a woman's phone number and a date even if you are bald, fat or ugly.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ai_Qin

How To Attract Older Women

2009-05-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

Many younger men like dating older women, because older women are sophisticated and in control, and nine times out of ten they are in no hurry to get married or have children because they probably have already "been there - done that."

So, you are a young guy and you want to date an older woman. What do you do? Where do you go? You can begin by going to a local upper class bar and hang out for a way. There are usually several older women enjoying an evening out. You can also go online and search for "dating older women." You'll be amazed at the number of websites that have dating services available. Once you met someone you think you might like to get to know better, your next move is to have a conversation with her. You can talk about anything and everything, but make sure you don't dominate the conversation. Women hate that. Ask her about her work, what she likes to do, etc.

Offer to buy her a drink. If she accepts, you're well on your way to at least spending some time with this woman. If you find the evening is going well, ask her out. There's no time like the present to keep things rolling. She like your spontaneity, and the fact that she is sitting with you must mean something.

Like any woman, an older woman likes compliments. Tell her she's beautiful, smart, sexy, etc. The one thing you don't want to do is ask her how old she is. She'll tell you in due time. Besides, if you are attracted to her and want to keep on dating - age really doesn't matter now does it?
Attract Women provides detailed information on Attract Women, Pheromone To Attract Women, How To Attract Beautiful Women, How To Attract Older Women and more. Attract Women is affiliated with Christian Singles.

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Older Women Dating Younger Men

2009-05-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

Celebrity men are breaking the barriers. In the 70's Burt Reynolds dated Dinah Shore she was 20 years older. He certainly had plenty of money and fame and could easily have dated any young starlet. Instead, he chose Dinah. John Travolta dated and fell madly in love with Diana Hyland who was 18 years older. It seems celebrity men may have started the trend. Ashton Kushner married Demi Moore. Younger men have always fallen in love with older women.

Women are dating younger men today because there are more men who love them. They also want to experience the same thing celebrity women are. Research has shown an amazing increase in younger men who are attracted to older women.

Men today are not shy about dating older women. Men have success and money today at a younger age. They want to feel and look accomplished. Today's man is finding an older woman a trophy and eye-candy for his arm. Men love the confidence and sexual experience of an older woman. Younger men find older women more adventurous and relaxed in life. Simply put older women turn them on.

Younger men are giving older men some stiff competition. Younger men dating older women has become the new status quo. The term cougar is dead. An older woman dating a younger man has become a babe. A younger man considers 'a babe' a fine looking woman, sexy, luscious; he has an indescribable attraction to the better things in life. Younger men are looking for the finer things in life. They are finding it in older women.

If you are considering dating an older woman or if you are a woman who would like to experience a younger man relationship visit http://www.dateolderwomen.com
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Why Single Muslims Looking For Love Should Try Muslim Online Dating

2009-05-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

If you are a single Muslim who is looking for love, you need to become part of the Muslim online dating community. There are thousands of Muslim singles waiting to meet you. The Islamic faith is very vital to the members. For this reason, as you date as a Muslim single, you need to uphold all your Islamic teachings. Muslim online dating sites will ensure that you meet people of like mind. There are very many sites that offer this services. Take time before you decide the kind of site that is suitable for you. Consider whether you are a Shiite, Ishmaeli, Sunni Hanafi or even Sunni Shafii. You will meet all kinds of Muslims this way. Also, it does not matter whether you want Muslim dates from Africa, America or Europe; this is a one stop shop. The process of joining or registering on Muslim online dating sites is pretty easy. Before you do this, take time to confirm whether you have chosen the right service. There are several things that can inform you whether a service is good. First, consider the language used. It should be clear and to the point. Also, it should not be contrary to the teachings of the holy Koran. There are sites that are run by people who do not have a clear understanding of the Muslim faith. This people will not be very efficient. Therefore, know some history about the particular service.

As a young Muslim single, you must have in mind some of the characteristics you want in a partner. It is vital to be clear on this so that you can get want you want. There are ways in which you can ensure that you get closer to your perfect match. The easiest way to do this is to join a service that has many members. As you undertake your research, you will come across many services that have many members. Such services will have been in existence for a longer time.

This kind of experience is helpful to you. The way you structure your profile might attract people and the opposite is true. It is vital to have some knowledge of how to create an excellent profile. Sites will usually have tips. The first excellent tip is to be honest. Honesty will always sell you. After this, you need to look at the length of your profile. Your profile does not need to be very long. It also does not need to be very short. Include all the interesting details that will make your profile stand out. This can be on your hobbies and places of interest. Make sure you mention foreign countries you have visited. Such information usually sparks a lot of curiosity from members. Do not give too much personal information.

In accordance to the Muslim faith, do not be sexually suggestive. Be confident and keep your communication checked. State the your feelings on strong family values. Include your photo depending on the service you have chosen. Know how to have a safe first date. You can get this information and more from the advise segment. Muslim online dating is so much fun.
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Muslim Online Dating Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Muslim Online Dating

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Muslim Dating Sites Offers The Best Interaction Platform For Muslims

2009-05-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Muslim dating has been made easier and more friendly through the Muslim singles dating sites. They are fast-growing matrimonial sites for Sunni and Shia singles. It is very possible to meet compatible Muslim singles over the popular and successful Muslim sites on the Internet. Looking for dating and marriage? It is simple especially with the availability of photo galleries and video profiles on the sites. Muslim chat rooms offer a good platform for interaction making it easy to find a perfect Muslim mate. It is very possible to get a site that shows real commitment to the

Muslim's member privacy and safety. This inspires many people who lack faith in online dating Muslim. Safe and friendly environment where singles with the same mind meet. You can either date a Muslim or a none Muslim. It all depends on a person's choice and preferences.
Joining a Muslim singles dating site allows the member to enjoy the freedom of global Muslim dating. It is in such sites that you will find a dating Muslim who has involved himself with network of Islamic singles from all over the world. You might as well contact members who are non Muslims if you wish. Agencies which deal with Muslim dating create awareness among Muslims by promoting any event all round your respective cities. Most of the dating sites are interactive and will allow you to give them your opinions and complains. If there are any events you want promoted you can always pass the message through the message boards available on the site.

If you are a married Muslim, you are not left out. There are Muslim matrimonial and marriage service sites which could be very instrumental in the betterment of your social life.
Muslim singles dating sites usually possess a different touch. The sites are large and are a common ground for most college-educated dating Muslim singles. Muslim dating has gained a lot of popularity especially in USA, Canada, UK and other developed nations. Developing countries are catching up in a good speed. It is possible to contact a thousands of Muslim members even right now if you join a dating site. The good thing is that dating or friendship sought using professional Muslim dating services is acquired much safely and easily. The matrimonially-minded Muslim people are brought together through premium features such as language translation services, live chat rooms, video introductions and wonderful voice messaging. You find love so effortlessly since it is even free to reply to instant messages and e-mails.

When it comes to dating, people are controlled by their minds but they are guided by their hearts. There i dating advice column which focus on helping dating Muslims seeking marriage. Most Muslim dating sites scores solid and high marks for their savvy presentation but miss it somehow in the area of dealing with the larger Muslim community. People use dating sites to meet Muslim singles, Muslim singles seeking marriage, Muslim pen pal or Muslim friends. An arranged marriage was the norm in the past but nowadays with the new advances on the Internet, you have a great opportunity to know the person you would like to get married to before even meet them. While at it, you can still keep your personal details safe. Our Muslim brothers and sisters will successfully find love and happiness in fulfilling marriages Inshallah.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Muslim dating Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Muslim dating

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Christian Dating Sites

2009-05-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Internet dating or matchmaking services give members the opportunity to look at all the options and make a more informed decision about whom they want to contact. Members of these services are given the opportunity to take the initiative and pursue the person he or she is interested in meeting.

Most internet dating or matchmaking web sites were created for people of any lifestyle, however, many Christian singles realized that meeting other eligible Christians could be quite difficult. Christian Dating Sites emerged from the need of Christian singles to contact other Christian singles in their community. Like other dating web sites, Christian dating sites vary, depending on what the person is looking for.

Some sites target a specific age demographic, such as single Christians over 30 years old. Most sites, however, are for any age and denomination. They vary in the way that the questionnaire is set up and how people can contact each other. Matchmaking and dating services tend to work through questionnaires, and they will ask both in-depth and general questions.

Some Christian dating sites are actual matchmaking services that match one person’s profile with that of another. After the person has filled out the questionnaire or series of surveys, the site will match up the person with a variety of potential dates based on similar interests, demographics, and psychographics. This person can then peruse the list of potential dates and decide whom to contact. Most matchmaking sites like these will also give members the opportunity to perform their own searches based on certain criteria. The site will then direct them to the profiles of the other dating service members that fulfill those criteria.

Other Christian dating sites do not match profiles; rather, they encourage people to register, post a profile, and browse other members’ profiles. The questions asked on these profile-building pages are far more general than the questionnaires on the matchmaking sites. Anyone who is a member is able to contact other members directly; either through a web based email available through that service or through other web-based tools, like blogs.

Christian Dating Info provides detailed information on Christian dating services, sites, and advice. Christian Dating Info is the sister site of Jewish Dating Web.

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Two Alternatives to Dating Sites to Meet Christian Singles Online

2009-05-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

A lot of people are familiar with eHarmony, a site that is well publicized in magazines and on television. But you don't have to go to a dating site to find a single Christian man or woman online although up to this day I still do recommend these. Just that there aren't many that offer the quality I know you are looking for.

Here are two places that you can meet Christian singles online.

Chat rooms - One of the first places that you can go is to a Christian chat room. You can go into a chat room on a social networking site, or do a search for one on the Internet. Chat rooms are a great place to start up a conversation with someone.

Networking sites - Another good place to find a Christian single man or woman is a networking site, such as Xianz or one of the other Christian sites. There are often forums that are for single people to meet one another. Who knows whom you may find if you open your eyes and heart?
Yes, it may seem like a good idea to go to a Christian dating site, but not all matches are made on them. If the Lord has a person who He has intended for you, you will find them. If you want to meet Christian singles online, search around and see what you find. The truth is as much as God has made someone just for you it will only take some initiative from you to find that particular person.

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How To Attract Older Women

2009-05-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Dating Tip for Women: Don't Work Too Hard

2009-05-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

Remember Jerry Hall, the model who married Mick Jagger? Jerry was famous for making this statement:

"My mother said it was simple to keep a man. You must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom."

I don't know about you, but if keeping a man meant all that work, I'd have stayed single.
In addition to that pearl of wisdom, Ms. Hall offered this one: "Even if you have only two seconds, drop everything and give him (oral sex). That way he won't really want sex with anyone else."

Poor Jerry. Too bad her mother didn't tell her that if a man tends to want sex with "anyone else," he's not great husband material.

Sadly, despite all her hard work, Mick Jagger continued to have sex with other people and fathered a child with another model during his marriage to Hall. They are now divorced. So much for keeping a man!

The point? No guy is worth running yourself ragged for. Instead of appreciating your efforts, he will likely take you for granted and come to resent you. Think about it: Do you fall for guys who are at your beck and call all the time? They're great for helping you move, but you probably wouldn't marry one.

All right. Let's say you decide to move in with a guy. Before you run out to Bed Bath & Beyond, it's absolutely imperative that you talk to your boyfriend about sharing household chores. It's not romantic, but you'll save yourself much misery in the end. And whatever you do, don't get off on the wrong foot by cooking dinner every night and doing his laundry.

Resist any and all impulses to "wife and mother" the guy. Otherwise, he'll take you for granted, or even worse, marry you and expect you to be his servant for the rest of your life. And that's definitely not romantic!

Allow a man to cook for you for a change. Let him do your laundry every now and then. There's no reason to expect him to be your maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, or whore in the bedroom, but every once in a while it wouldn't hurt.

Remember: You have a lot to offer (if you don't believe me, take out a pen and paper and write down a list of the qualities that make you special; emphasize things like your sense of humor, leave off your ability to fold a fitted sheet).

Don't let a guy do you any favors. Keep this in mind: You're a great girl, and he'd be lucky to have you.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com Tune into her radio show at http://www.healthylife.net Friday night at 11PM PST.

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Dating People at Work - Should I Or Shouldn't I?

2009-04-30T04:07:00.000-07:00

Most of us are at work as much or more as we are anywhere else. We spend the largest part of our time there, aside from possibly at home (some of us are actually at work more than at home). So, naturally, we spend a lot of time with our co-workers. As a result, we sometimes become very close with them. Inevitably, from time to time, the temptation to go out with a co-worker is too much to resist? So, is this a good idea, or not?

First of all, many companies have very specific rules about co-workers dating. Find out what these are, and use that as your first reference. Aside from that, there are some things to consider when thinking about dating a colleague.

1. Are the two of you in a supervisor/subordinate relationship at work? Even if there are no rules at your workplace forbidding it (unlikely), it's never a good idea to become intimate with someone who has authority over you, or over whom you have authority. The intimate relationship will undoubtedly influence decisions such as promotions, raises, and performance evaluations, and that's not only unfair to the individuals in the relationship, but to other employees, and the company in general.

2. Is it going to be distraction from work? If either of you is going to be inhibited in your ability to perform your normal job duties due to the relationship, it probably isn't a good idea. If it is something you can keep outside of, and separate from, work, then it may work out fine.

3. What happens when it's over? If the two of you are BOTH mature enough to end the intimate relationship and remain colleagues, with no change in the working relationship, this won't be an issue. If one or both of you is going to have a hard dealing with seeing the other one each and every day, then I would stay away from the situation.

Basically, a good dose of common sense is called for. If you are going to embark on an intimate relationship with someone at work, some very specific communication is necessary on the front end. Ground rules need to be laid out at the beginning to ensure that there is no confusion later on. Remember, your work is your means of providing for yourself (and perhaps your family, too), so don't do anything to jeopardize that, no matter how fun or exciting it seems like it could be.

Will Irvin is the Webmaster for Premier Dating Online a valuable source for Online Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, and Dating Service Reviews. As an active member of the Online Dating Community, as well as the Online Social Networking Community in general, Will offers a street-level perspective into online relationships, online etiquette, and human relationships in general.
For more Online Dating Tips, please visit Premier Dating Online, read our Online Dating Tips, Subscribe to Pick Up the Pieces, the Premier Dating Online Newsletter, or Subscribe to the Premier Dating Online Articles Feed, and always get the latest Articles directly to you favorite Feed Reader.

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Work Place Communication, Employee Dating and Sex on the Job

2009-04-26T04:05:00.000-07:00

Most companies and nearly all of American's top Fortune 500 companies do not allow employees to date each other and have policies against it. It can cause a huge problem at work. As often there are love triangles, employee dating and even sex on the job. You can imagine the issues that are involved and the potential lawsuits if something goes wrong.

Even worse once a relationship might be over the workplace communication may suffer because the people are upset at each other and those around them feel uneasy. This is a great way to destroy the productivity of the workplace and can even become dangerous.

There are numerous case studies in human resource manuals that describe such things and there are many lawsuits, which result from employees who have sex on the job while dating someone they work with. After the relationship is over it can even cause sexual harassment lawsuits and cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Even in small companies it makes sense to have an employee dating policy and let people know that that it is not allowed and obviously sex on the job should not be allowed although you'd think people are smarter than that.

In one case that resulted in a lawsuit the employee manual did not say that the employees could not have sex it only referred to sexual harassment and employee dating. Neither of the two people involved were harassing each other because they were too busy having sex and they did not plan on dating each other after they were finished.

They were both fired but in court they said they were just having a quickie and due to the lack of entry in the employee operations manual they won their case and both employees had to be paid tens of thousands of dollars due to the wrongful termination suit. Needless to say workplace communication skills do not include having sex there are other ways to communicate. Please consider all this in 2006.

"Lance Winslow" - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is an online writer in retirement.

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Love at the Office: Dating Someone at Work

2009-04-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

Should you date someone at the office? The long and short answer is--no. If you are both unrelentingly drawn to each other however, then you may have to consider another job in order to date because an office romance can have certain consequences for your career that you had not planned on.

We often do not think these things through when we meet someone we are attracted to. But an office romance can be a challenge. If you proceed to mix your love life with your work life, you can put yourself under significant stress.

Here are some choices to consider if you have a relationship so compelling, you cannot stay away from each other:

* Consider all of the consequences of dating this person before you date them.

If this person is so irresistible you cannot stay away from him or her, are you ready to give up your job for them if that is what is required?

If you date and then break up, how comfortable are you going to feel in the same workplace?

Are you or the person you want to date emotionally volatile? What would happen if you had a fight at work?

Is this person discreet and trustworthy? If you tell them your secrets, will they tell other people at work?

What are the policies where you work about dating someone you work with? Read those carefully before you proceed.

* Keep your dating life under the radar.

Before you decide that you want to "go public" with your relationship, keep your dates quiet and to yourselves. You will know within a reasonable amount of time if this romance has a chance of growing into something lasting.

* Consider removing yourself from the same work place as the person you are dating.
Look into getting promoted, transferred, or finding another job, depending on what your company policies are. Get a mentor or a coach to help you strategize what your choices are and to help you implement a plan.

Are you ready for an office romance? It's complicated, it's challenging, and it's risky. If you have your life relatively in order; if you are known to make good decisions; and if you cannot deny that "something" is there between you, proceed with caution. If it's love, it's worth it.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

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How to Date Women Without the Use of Money, Plastic Surgery, Or Pick Up Lines

2009-04-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

If it's all about dating women, believe it or not, most guys don't know what to do. Most men conjure the oddest and weirdest ways to get to a girl, and at times, they make matters more complicated when all they had to do was to change a few things about themselves, lessen a few of their cheesy pick up line use, and face the fact that women do not like desperate guys. Most guys don't know how to date women the right way at all but they think they do. Unfortunately, they tend to make more mistakes than hitting the mark.

If you think money, shiny cars, and mansions attract decent girls, the truth is, you're only attracting gold diggers. Women have jobs now, they know where and how to find their own money. If you want to know how to date women, you will have to consider the facts that women have become as competitive as men and they too can avail of owning their own shiny cars and mansions. If you want a decent girl, then turn to decent tactics.

Men often forget the basics when dating women. It's not often just about cash or cars; it's mostly about confidence and trust in oneself. The essential of winning a girl is by being confident and determined. Confidence is key and if you portray a lot of that, women will most definitely get attracted to you.

When you walk into a room full of women, as well as men, do not slouch when you walk and stand upright. It will give everyone the message that you should be taken seriously because you know what you're doing. Do not stutter when you speak, and try to lessen your distracting mannerisms as much as possible. Show your confidence by staying poised at all times and try to refrain from doing any clumsy acts.

When you find yourself surrounded by women at one point, do not flirt in the most obvious ways. This is done by refraining from saying pick up lines, and if you must compliment someone, do this in a way Shakespeare would approve. Be watchful of your words, or you'll get ignored if you don't. Instead of inviting a woman to your place right away on your first meet, offer her a drink instead. It's one of the kindest ways to get a woman's attention. If you're in another location and in another situation, showing little signs of chivalry can mean a lot to the woman. Being the "knight in shining armor" can win women's hearts easier than by being the "bad boy of the block."

If you want to make an impression among women, try to be very interesting and mysterious in your conversations. Read books, the current news, as well as the most recent affairs to stock up on what you know. Sometimes, words can attract her and if you know how to tell intriguing stories, she will most likely stay to listen to you.

Other than one's confidence, chivalry and interesting stories, women will most definitely stick with a guy who knows how to respect women. Respect is very crucial in a relationship and as long as you know how to treat a girl with utmost respect while you're dating, she will give you great consideration when she decides to go steady with someone.

Not a lot of men know how to date women; some guys just turn to sheer luck when out with a girl and it lessens their chances of getting a real date. If you don't want to fall in such a situation, just try to keep the basics of dating in mind.

Tomas Decker shows you how to date women the easiest ways possible. View more of these tips as well as a free video course on http://www.PlayersDatingSecret.com

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Dating Tips For Guys - How to Date a Coworker Without Problem

2009-04-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

There may be time that you are attracted to the girl at your office. You want to date her but you do not know what to do. You may have some worries about the consequence of dating the coworker. This article will give you some of the important dating tips. Learn these tips and you can decide if you want to date your coworker.

You will have to consider the following before you date your coworker.

1 Does your work place allow you to do that?

Many of the companies do not allow romance in the work-place. Some time this is not made a policy, but the employees know that. You will have to learn it by yourself or observing others.

2 Do not date your superior or subordinate.

It may not be good for the chain of command if you do so. It can hurt both parties. So, you should bear in mind that the risk is high. Unless you can not really resist, stay away from this scenario. If you decide to go this route, either one of you may need to look for a new job.

3 Will your date disturb your work?

You may have to consider this before you date her. There may be some confidential information that you can not reveal to the girl you like. Although both of you have enough integrity, others may not think so. Your boss may have less trust in you if he finds out about your dating. This may not happen but you should take it into consideration.

4 Can you stand gossiping in the company?

This is one of the consequences that you will have to take. People may say bad things about your girlfriend behind your back. But you can still hear it. Can you tolerate that? It happens all the time in human society. If your company is big and competitive, there is a high chance that it will happen. Learn to live with it if you want to date your coworker.
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How to Date Your Spouse

2009-03-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when you've been with your partner for a long time, the shine kind of wears off of your relationship. In fact, I might go so far as to say "always" rather than "sometimes" - shine gets a lot of its sparkle from the newness of discovering one another. Once you know each other it can be awfully easy to just stop talking about all the silly little things you did when you were first dating.

Every marriage counselor or book on relationships will tell you that you need to keep "dating," no matter how long you've been together. Most people, even me, scoff at this idea at first. We don't have time for this nonsense. We already know what our lover's favorite song is and the teacher they hated most in high school and their best childhood Christmas ever. We know their stories. We know what they're going to say before they say it. We don't need to listen to them anymore.

Oh, oops. Wait - maybe we do. We want them to listen to us, right?

Maybe the distance and lack of intimacy might be caused by the fact that we stopped listening to each other. Asking not only about how their day was, but how they want tomorrow and next month and the next several years to be. Not if they want to go away on vacation, but what their dream vacation is. Heck, even just talking about a movie you watched together, laughing and being silly with each other, can renew that precious connection you have.

So here are some tips for Dating, Round Two:

1. A date is not a date until someone laughs. You can spend all the money in the world on flowers and a nice dinner out, but if you're not both relaxed and enjoying yourselves, it doesn't count. Sorry. Make a point to be amusing, tell new anecdotes, speculate on what kind of underwear the dour maitre d' is wearing. Whatever makes you giggle.

2. A date needs to take place away from the home. It's true that it's lovely to stay in, get a pizza, and cuddle up on the sofa for a movie-date. But if you're trying to reconnect, to build (or re-build) your connection, then you need to get away from the house. The house is where you pay the bills and fret about money and lose your keys and burn the toast and bicker about whose family you'll be with for the holidays. A change of scenery is important for creating some mental distance away from the everyday norm. This is special time, just for you two; treat it as such.

3. Seeing a movie may seem like a great date plan, but it really isn't unless you also go to dinner or for a walk or do something else before or after. Why? Because you can't talk during a movie, and this is about reconnecting with your lover, not ogling Angelina Jolie. The way to make a movie work, if that's what you choose to do, is to talk about it afterward. Don't just play movie-critic, though - make sure you're talking on a personal level about what you liked (or didn't) and why. Here's an example:

Bad: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith was awesome! I loved all the action sequences. Kerpow! Bang!"

Good: "Angelina's outfit in the dominatrix scene was hot - did you like it? What do you think about me wearing something like that someday? Does that sort of thing turn you off or on?"

4. Don't talk about money or anything stressful or likely to bring up conflict. This is a date, remember? Remember how those went, way back when you were single? You go out and you have fun together. If you have topics or problems that need to be addressed, this is not the time. Schedule another evening to deal with those, please.

Furthermore, if unpleasant topics come up in the course of a conversation, please accept the gentle, polite reminder from your lover that now isn't the time. And if your partner brings one up, in the most loving, non-combative way you can, suggest another date and time when you can talk about these things. Just not on your date tonight. The focus of your time together is on enjoying each other's company.

5. Be creative! Dinner and a movie or a walk are a great start, but if that's all you ever do, it's going to get boring. Go to a play, a concert, a museum, tidepooling, hiking, take a class together, read a book out loud to each other, go for a picnic, do some stargazing, go wine tasting, check out local historical attractions. Wrack your brains for fun things to do together, brainstorm, make a list. Put it on the refrigerator and whenever you think of something new, add it. Alternate who gets to choose what fun thing you do. (Make sure you both want to do everything on the list, though. No one should be a martyr here.) Do fun seasonal things like collecting wildflowers, carving pumpkins, skiing, snowball fights, dyeing eggs. Have fun. Play with each other.

Most long lasting relationships are romances between friends (plus some hot sex, hopefully). When you rekindle your friendship, when you remember why you enjoy the other person's company and feel connected to them and look forward to spending time together, every aspect of your relationship improves. A discussion about money has a joke thrown in the middle, releasing the tension. Your overall stress decreases in all aspects of your life, knowing that the person you're going home to will hold you and make you smile. Knowing that you'll get through whatever life throws at you, together, and with a sense of humor, will give you courage to face your challenges.

All you need to do to have that kind of relationship is set aside two to four nights per month to go out on a date. Talk about a win-win solution!

And who knows - when you get home after your date, he or she might even put out.

(c) 2008 Julianne N. Bentley All Rights Reserved.

Julianne Bentley, the original Wanton Hussy, works with individuals (and couples) who want to bring the passion and joy back into their bedrooms

Drawing on over fifteen years of experience discussing the ins and outs of sexuality, in all its forms, Julianne brings compassion and energy to the process of supporting you in making the changes you need in order to have the sex life you want and deserve
http://www.thewantonhussy.com

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Places You Can Go While Dating in Kentucky

2009-03-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Kentucky is a state in the East Central of the United States of America. It is the 37th largest state in the U.S. It is also known as the blue grass state. This is because of the blue grass that can be seen in most of the lawns in this state. It has a humid subtropical climate. If you have recently moved to this state and you are dating in Kentucky there are many places that you can consider going to. Kentucky has various parks you can go and have a walk in. You can also go to the museums or zoo to see the beautiful animals.

If you are dating in Kentucky, you can go to Kentucky Lake. This lake has very many activities that you can do as a couple. You can do activities like skiing, boating and fishing. You can get on one of the boats with your loved one and paddle away exploring the lake's scenery. This place also has a place you can do your shopping from. You can also see some wild life while you are at the Kentucky lake. If you enjoy playing golf and hanging out with the person you love then Kentucky Lake will not disappoint you. They have an area you can play golf from. You can also eat from this same place. They have great food here. If you are also looking for a place where you can go camping then the Kentucky Lake is a perfect place to go. The Lake region has so many activities going on that if you get bored with one you can do another one.

You can also visit Kentucky parks while dating in Kentucky. There is the Kentucky Dam Village, Kenlake State Park and Lake Barkley State Park which are on the western part of Kentucky. Kentucky Action Park is in the South Central part of the state. Depending with which side of Kentucky you are staying, you can visit one of this parks and if time allows you can visit all of the parks to see what they have to offer. Kentucky Action Park just like the name suggests has a lot of action. There are so many amusement activities that takes place in this park. Their major attraction however is the Alpine slides, Jesse James and the riding stables. You can also visit Kentucky Down Under where you can get close enough to interact with the animals.

If you are dating in Kentucky you can go to the Beech Bend Raceway Park. This is an amusement park that has a pool and water slides. You and your date can have fun at the water slide sliding away. However, the parks are not the only places you can go to in Kentucky, you can also go to Kentucky's theatre and watch live performance. An example of a theater you can go to is the Barn Lot Theater which is a community theater or you can also go to Carson Center which is a performing art center.

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