Our Life...

"I am so excited that I love you!"

2013-05-24T09:13:00.001-06:00

That's what Sister told me this morning as she was getting dressed for school.

She is such a happy kid. I love it. She reminds me to be happy to be alive! Seriously, she is just happy to be here and finds joy in the smallest of things.

I felt bad the other day though because they had a 3K run fundraiser for her school and I just assumed she wouldn't want to run that far so I didn't buy her a shirt or anything... I know, bad mom. Anyway, I got a note when she got home from school that she had run the entire thing! And fast! She ran the whole way! She even has a blister the size of a dime to prove it. She is so proud of herself I love it!

Speaking of running, Brother brought home his ribbons from his final track meet at Alpine Days. I am so proud of him!

5th place = shot put, Participant = self explanatory, 2nd place = running long jump, 2nd place = 100 meter run

P.S. This is my 920th post! Wow! I have a lot to say!

Memory Lane

2013-05-20T10:21:00.000-06:00

We had a lesson in Relief Society at church yesterday that really got me thinking about my childhood and all the awesome things we did. It brought back such a flood of happy memories that I just have to write them down.

I'll never for get our "sand" pile. It was NOT sand really. It was dirty that had been uncovered from the grass and had more dirt added. So really, it was a dirt pile. To us kids, it was the best sand pile ever. I had this awesome green truck and trailer toy that went mudding and four-wheeling with the toy cows and sheep that would rattle around in the back of the trailer. I would pretend like I was my dad hauling cows in his old '76 Chevy truck. I loved watching my dad drive off with a cow or two in the back of his awesome truck. Back to the dirt pile, we would make cities and rivers. The water hose was usually near by while we played in the dirt. We needed it for our ponds, rivers, or to assist in packing the dirt for the buildings, fences and hill sides. One day we got a bit carried away and our entire dirt pile became a muddy swamp, but it was not enough for just our trucks and cows to get muddy, we wanted to join in. We (Jessie, Daniel, and, I think, Aaron too) ran inside to get our swimsuits on and we ran back outside to wallow, roll and sit in the mud pile. That was one of the best days ever!

We also used to go to the haystacks on the farm and make huts. We had the coolest huts! There were old cinder blocks left over from building the barn and metal roofing that may have been from the same. We made the mansions of hay huts, let me tell you. Our huts came fully equipped with cinder block table and chairs and we even had beds in our 3 room hut. I think we tried to make a second floor once. Once. Second floors and hay huts do not go together...

We had an old station wagon that sat in the back yard. I don't remember if it was one we actually ever drove or if it was just there for "parts," but we had fun with that too. We would play "monster" at night. One person was the monster and the rest of sat in the car and pretended like we were stranded in the mountains in a dark forest. And, of course, there were a few windows we pretended were stuck open, one was almost all the way rolled down and one other was part way down. The "monster" would sneak around the car amongst the tall weeds and other "antiques" that surrounded the car. The "monster" would bang on the sides of the car, climb up to the roof, quickly growl at the the closed windows with hands pressed in claw shape on the glass and sometimes would find the open windows and reach their scary arms through to try to grab us. We would get so scared and scream so loud. I think we freaked ourselves out just by screaming and panicking all on our own. Wow! We LOVED doing that. It was so much fun to be scared when we were with each other and friends.

Speaking of outside games, we used to play "kick the can." Remember kick the can? We had the best yard to play in because my dad collected so much junk that we had oodles of places to hide. Our clothes line was usually the jail. It was a metal clothes line and really hurt when you ran in to free the captured and ran in on the low side hitting your head on the T-bar, or the few times you went to escape after being freed and got clothes-lined on the way out. Tee hee! I think we were pretty tough as kids because it really took something like a concussion or something bleeding for us to stop playing.

I think my dad started feeling sorry for us always trying to make elaborate hay huts and decided he would make us a play house. I loved that play house. I had been mosquito infested sleepovers with my family and friends out in that play house. My dad had even wire a light out the the play house. It was so much fun. In fact, I get such a kick out of seeing all of our kids now play in there. It was a great little house.

I remember family reunions with my dad's side of the family where we gathered at the park, ate food, played games and, best of all, had a fish pond. The fish pond was the BEST part. Also, the Christmas parties on my dad's side were always great to look forward to.

I remember the reunions on my mom's side where we would all play volleyball and softball up at a park in the canyon. Those are the times I like to look back on my Grandma Ruby and Grandpa Fred. They were so proud of all the children and their grandchildren. Grandma would would smile the entire time. My grandpa didn't always participate , but he loved watching everyone and even liked to pick a team to cheer for. If he was rooting for the losing team he would quickly switch over to the winning team just in time. Tee hee!

My mom used to make homemade cinnamon rolls, orange rolls, garlic rolls, cherry or applies pies and turnovers, french fries, popcorn and kool-aid slushes. Oh, those were fun times.

We sang a lot at our house too. I remember my aunts and uncles coming over and we would all listen or join in on singing the many songs my mom had written while she, Aunt Aleesa, or Uncle Slade played the guitar. Oh, how I loved those times. We still do that even now and have even added the piano into our mix with my brother, Aaron's talent.

Music has always been a HUGE part of my life in so many ways. In fact it is usually songs that I think of when I remember things about my family. Like when our family would take drives out to Delta to see our Aunt Becky we would sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," "You are My Sunshine," or another favorite was the round, "Don't Put Your Dust in My Dustpan." My dad always joined in on "Swing Low" and I think that is why, for most of us, that is still one of our favorite songs of memories.

We didn't have money.

We didn't travel much, if, really, at all.

We didn't even have many toys as kids.

But, we loved each other a lot and treasure the memories we still have of our best times.

I want to challenge anyone reading this to focus on the wonderful memories of their childhood. Believe me, I can give you my share of bad memories and bad times, but I am choosing to move forward with the good and use those times to strengthen me and help me be a better person, mother, wife and friend.

It is up to us to choose which path we take, the happy or the crabby. I choose the happy because that's what I want to be remembered for. When people think of their times with me I want them to think that they were happy times, and even if I do mess up and do something wrong, I hope that the good times are memorable and special enough that the bad won't be dwelled on as my defining moments.

We've all been made fun of at one time or another, not picked for the team, shunned by friends, bullied, hurt by others and ourselves. Let's hope that the good we do will outshine the things we do or say that are not as good as we could be proud of.

If you are struggling to find the good in your life now, or in the past, start now by being good to others and finding the good will become easier.

Hairy Post

2013-05-18T23:04:00.002-06:00

Really, nothing exciting. I just wanted to document one of the few times Baby let me do her hair a little fancier than the usual. She was happy coloring so I took advantage of the situation and did and angel braid on her hair. I had to take a picture because it was such a great event (smile).

When I was little my Grandma Vivian taught me how to crochet. I remembered I love it, but pretty much all I could do was crochet a long line. But I loved it and I made myself a lot of hair bows and necklaces and bracelets and whatever else you could turn a long looped strand of yarn into.

A few weeks back we had an activity in Relief Society and we learned how to crochet some bracelets. I sat there with the other ladies learning all over again, but I couldn't help but think of my Grandma Vivian and what she had taught me.

Now I'm not really sure if the reason why I enjoyed that night so much was because I felt like I was connecting with my Grandma Vivian on the other side by thinking of her while I expounded on what I had learned from her OR if it was just plain fun! Probably a bit of both for me.

Anyway, I sort of feel like I did when I was a kid in the fact that I have learned one thing but I will make due with what I know until I get comfortable enough to move onto something else. So, I took the pattern I learned for the bracelet and made a headband.

See?

Winners

2013-05-17T18:42:00.000-06:00

I haven't written anything this week because I have so many things on my mind and just can't seem to formulate into one post.

So this post, regardless of how I hoped to bring all my thoughts to one spot, is going to be a jumble of thoughts, feelings and small celebrations.

Remember when I posted about Brother's successful track meet, but told you I would let you know more about the one that didn't go so well at a later time. Well, I think it is later enough that I can post without crying about it.

I've mentioned before the hold anxiety has on Brother's life and the track meet that day was one of those days. Marc and I showed up so proud and excited to take pictures of our track star. But, it was not what we had hoped. Something, somehow had set him off earlier at school just before the track meet and he was falling apart that we were there. He didn't want us there. I figured it was just the typical anxiety that soon subsides as the event occurs.

I was wrong.

I found that out quickly when his coach asked me to help keep the kids in order for the long jump. Brother had been yelling at me from his place in line the whole time I was standing there and when it was his turn to go and he was right next to me he began pushing me and shoving me with some teenage force.

It wasn't pretty.

I kept a smile on my face, trying to talk to him and calm him down. I felt like the entire crowd on the bleachers was staring at me getting pushed around and yelled at by the typically sweet and funny teenager they have all come to love. I am sure they weren't all staring, but I am sure those who were watching were wondering what was happening.

The parents of the other special needs kids, I am sure, felt and understood my pain that I was hiding.

I finally gave up the fight to try to ease his anxiety and gave the list to another parent and walked away to watch him fall apart next to the long jump pit. I stayed because I knew, he really did want us there, yet really didn't all at the same time.

I didn't cry out loud but I cried in my mind.

Don't worry, though, I got over it because there have been so many great things that have happened since then.

Like the fact that we have started a new medication for him to help with his anxiety. I think that day was a revelation to me that he really needed to get some relief for his terribly controlling and overbearing anxiety.

It's working!

Amazingly!

I am so excited to see the MANY fears he had start to take a back seat.

Now, he still has anxiety but it is not as debilitating as it was a few weeks back.

He even asked to have a friend over today! That is a big deal, just in case you were wondering.

It has led him to the successful completion of 2 different hikes with the youth of our neighborhood in preparation for Trek. I am so happy for him. The youth where we live are astounding and never cease to serve our kids. I loved hearing the one story, in particular, about the first hike when they were going down a steep spot and a few of the girls were helping him down. I love to hear stuff like that.

And then, the other day, Amanda sent me this video she got on her phone:

I loved it for a few reasons, 1) My sister, Kirsten and my niece, Kelsey used to do this and Brother would sit along side them trying to do it--so it brought back sweet memories and 2) because Amanda's sweet daughter doesn't mind at all having Brother play alongside her.

Oh, and random photo of the day, This morning Brother looked like David Tennant of Dr. Who this morning before heading out to school:

He did not want his picture taken... this is the best I could get on my phone... but he still looks awfully handsome!

As I wrap up this post I wanted to share with you a post from 3 years ago. I think that track has been a big part of the successes and lessons learned here in our family. I ran across this old post as I was searching for some other things on the blog. I had TOTALLY forgotten all about this and I am, now, so grateful that I wrote it all down. It made me cry. Again.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 5, 2010

Running the "Race"

I know, you are waiting to hear about my Florida trip and to see all the pictures. But, before I get to that I have to post a memorable moment.

Yesterday was Brother's Hershey Track meet. Remember last year?

(Insert from 2013 here, this photo is from 2009 and is one of my favorites of him)

The track meet was yesterday, Tuesday and I only heard about it on Monday because of our vacation. It started at 9:30am. I had made an Occupational Therapy appointment for Baby at 10:30am. I was hoping I would be able to make it anyway. Monday night my mom and dad came for dinner so that they could see all our pictures from Florida. I mentioned in passing that Brother's Hershey Track meet was the next morning if they wanted to come.

At 10am on Tuesday morning my mom called me from the track wondering if I was there. I explained to her my situation and told her that I would get there as soon as I could.

I didn't make it to his track meet. I was sad, but, hoped that his Nana being there would suffice. I am happy and humbled to say, she did more than that.

My mom tells the story kind of like this, "I was looking everywhere for him and then I heard, 'Nana! Nana!' When I walked up to him on the bleachers he acted shy and embarrassed. It was so cold out there. His skinny little body was so frozen and he had two jackets on to keep him warm. I went and got an old, dirty blanket that was in the back of the van to keep him and his friends warm. They all snuggled in it. It was so cute. Brother is so skinny and so sweet. Then he was going to run his [100 meter] race. I stayed along the side of the track on the grass to cheer him on. He started running, his big jacket and hood over his face. Then a little more than half way through the race he realized no one was around him running anymore and he just stopped. They had all already crossed the finish line..."

At this point I am teary eyed thinking of my vulnerable little boy so unassuming as to what was really happening. Wondering if anyone was laughing at him or pointing at him.

My heart sank.

I felt for him.

Then my mom continues, "I kept cheering him on. 'Come on, [Brother], let's go. Let's finish the race. Run!' He just stood there looking around. So I started running along the side of the track with him to encourage him to finish the race."

And she did.

My mom ran alongside him and he finished the race.

Last.

Dead last.

But, proud.

Completely oblivious to anyone's tears as he crossed the finish line alone.

Am I proud?

You bet I am.

Am I thankful my mom was there for him?

For me?

You bet I am.

My family, and I have a unique priviledge of watching my children run the "race" day after day.

They run hard.

And I know, in the end, they will reach the finish line...

winners!

"I'm Sailing!"

2013-05-11T23:12:00.001-06:00

We had so much fun today down at the rocky beach of Utah Lake... it doesn't even seem right to call it a beach, but...

Our friends, Chris and Jaclyn, took us out to the lake to enjoy their sailboat, a picnic lunch and just a great time with friends.

I was pretty worried about today's outing because I didn't know how the kids would do with staying out of the water and staying where I could see them. But! It turned out GREAT! We all had a blast. Marc was able to take time to go out with all 3 of the kids at different times and I just got to have fun behind my camera.

It was such a beautiful day.

It may have been a little too beautiful because there was actually not much wind, let alone a breeze, to catch the sails on the boat. So their short jaunts out became pretty long just waiting for the slight drifts of air to catch.

Our kids had so much throwing rocks into the water, wading in the shallow shore line, playing with Chris and Jaclyn's kids and eating cheese puffs to their hearts' content.

I loved today.

I just did.

Sunshine, happy kids, sound of water on the rocks, views of the snowcapped mountains across the lake and seeing my kids go on a sailboat for the first time ever.

I actually didn't ever go out on the boat, but I really didn't mind. I was content on the shore with my camera in hand. Maybe sometime I'll edit a few of these and even get some printed up to remind us of what a great day with friends that it was. It was definitely a great start to my Mother's Day weekend.

Brother and Baby walked the shore line together most of the time.

Smile!

Baby had so much fun climbing around on the rocks the entire time she wasn't on the boat, which was most of the time.

Well, I tried for the group shot... we tried...

Meme (her name on this blog) was such a big helper with the kids, especially Baby. At this point, though, Baby had followed her in too far and decided it was to scary so Meme ended up carrying her to shore. Aw...

Ya, I'm strange... Avengers vintage t-shirt with my big-brimmed sun hat... OK, moving on.
Thanks, Marc, for the picture.

Almost ready to head out!

Hee hee! I just like this picture.

Sister was so interested in the boat but still to nervous to get on the first time.
She did finally get the courage to ride it at the end, and she loved it!

The water was FREEZING, but Baby didn't seem to mind at all...

Brother watching Chris in action.

And they're off!

Baby LOVED being on the boat and wanted to jump right into the water with all the rest of the kids,
Marc had to work hard to keep her ON the boat. No fear, I guess.

Then Chris brought out the sailboard. He and his kids were seeing if they could balance themselves on it...

Hew did it!
(name changed for this blog)

Meme did it!

Cheese!!

And now Chris' turn to stand!

It really was a beautiful day!

And if you want to know why my title is in quotes
it's because it's a line from one of my favorite movies!

Fragile X and Autism Go to Church

2013-05-08T22:29:00.000-06:00

It's all about routine.

Don't mess it up.

Don't forget it.

Don't change it.

And do not, I repeat DO NOT do any of that before entering the church building!

Here's how it all went down:

Me: "Marc, it's pretty hot today let's try parking in the shade at the back of the parking lot."

This was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

Sister: "NO!!!! NO!!!!! I hate the shade!!! I like the sun!! This is not the parking lot!!"

Everyone was already getting out of the car, we were a little late and, frankly, I am just tired of Sister always winning.

That was another bad idea.

Never care about who wins, just get used to losing.

Me: "Marc just head in with the other two and I'll get her."

I thought some self-talking or calming techniques would work.

I wish I would have realized the error of my ways before Marc was out of sight and in the church building with the other two kids.

Sister continues to scream, "I hate the shade! I want the sun! I don't like the shade! The shade is stupid!"

She is saying all this while I chase her in zigzags in the parking lot trying to avoid the moving cars, the parked ones and the odd stares of the worried people who thought they were witnessing a kidnapping.

I resort to taking her by the arm and thinking that I would force her to walk in with me even if she was screaming.

However the walking thing was not an option. She hung onto my arm like a monkey baby and I had to buoy up my strength to carry her with one arm across the parking lot to the doors.

I think my "mother adrenaline" kicked in because I wasn't crying, hurting, panting or sweating as I carried my 7-year-old by one arm into the chapel.

I thought for sure if I could get her into the chapel and start her routine again maybe she would be able to forget or forgive that we messed up the parking routine.

I'm sure it was quite a scene as I carried her in and plopped down on the second row that is always saved for us.

I sat relieved that we were in there and all would start well again. I started sweating and breathing heavily now that my adrenaline had subsided and I had to pull out a notebook to fan myself like one of those old Southern ladies and Baptist Church.

Sister was pouting on the floor under the bench in front of us and I was in hopes that she would just stay there and be quiet...

Hope...

A funny thing sometimes.

Baby joined her under the bench for a few minutes and then after a few minutes of solace two little girls popped out from under the front row bench and decided to plop down in the isle.

I thought they would be fine until Sister started to have a meltdown right there in the front row in the middle of the isle.

I reached up, handing Baby to Marc and grabbed Sister to bring her back out into the hall and she went limp again so I was, again, carrying her with one arm while I opened the door to leave.

Sigh.

We walked around the halls for a few minutes.

We walked outside for a few minutes.

I asked if she was ready to stop whining and sit in church and she whimpered an audible "yes."

We quietly re-entered the chapel and as we sat down, Sister's heart began to race as she firmly informed me, "Mom, where's the bread."

The priesthood was passing the sacrament but were now passing the water, which meant that the bread had already been passed.

I whispered to Sister that we would be able to get the sacrament after the meeting, but, hey, that was NOT the routine... I panicked a little until I saw Marc signaling to the young men at the Sacrament Table that we needed the bread. The sweet young man went over to speak with the Bishop to make sure it was OK and then walked down and passed Sister and I the bread.

Tears started to roll down my face. Partly because I was exhausted physically but I had just been deeply touched spiritually. They made sure to get us the water as it had already passed by our row and Sister seemed to be happy about her routine beginning to resurface.

It was testimony meeting.

As soon as I had the chance to get up I stood and said, "If any of you have seen how church started for me today you would know that I want to shout from the rooftops... shout from the rooftops that this church is true, I know it is or I wouldn't be here." I smiled. I really am thankful for my knowledge of the gospel because there is no way I would put myself through all that if it wasn't true.

After closing my testimony I went and sat down and within 2 minutes I was taking both Sister and Joslin out to play with the nursery toys. Thank goodness for the nursery toys. Saved my life that day.

Another life saver was the dear friend who stepped in to tell me she would stay with the girls while I listened to the rest of the sacrament meeting.

Tender mercies.

Oh, and Sister was happy as a clam once she went to class.

Her routine had finally gotten back to normal.

...

Right on Track

2013-05-04T23:53:00.001-06:00

A proud mommy just has to share pictures...

This picture is from the track meet that Brother was actually have a bad day at. I only show you this picture because I wanted you to see the small cheering section that had come over to watch and cheer him and his teammates on. (I'll tell you more about the experiences at this track meet later.)

This is at his last track meet, the 100 meter. He is the one to the left with the purple jacket on. He ran so well that day!

This is him coming in second place! Yay!

I love this picture for so many reasons. One of them, though, is seeing, again, the dedication and love his track coach has for him and how much she wants him to succeed. She is awesome!

He's flying!

He definitely jumps farther than he throws...

We sure love this kid! In fact, Marc and I just came in from talking to two young ladies who stopped by to visit with us while we sat by the fire. It was neat to hear them say good things about Brother, how funny he is, how much they like him and how they would defend him if anyone ever teased him or made fun of him. And this conversation is after we hear all the great things that went on this morning when he went on a hike with some of the youth and church leaders in our neighborhood. (I'll tell you more about that later too.)

It takes a village...

Sister's Funny!

2013-04-29T12:57:00.001-06:00

Sister is always saying funny things.

In fact she says funny things so often I forget what they are exactly, I just remember they are funny.

I have been remembering once in a while to post things in my notebook on my phone so I finally have a few to share with you:

One night when I was trying to be such a good mom and I was in the hallway reading aloud to the kids while they were in their beds. Sister didn't like that I was reading loud enough for everyone to hear and kept getting after me to stop. I cracked up and gave up when she yelled, "Turn down your ears!"

One Saturday morning Sister came into my room to announce she wanted waffles for breakfast and was doing her morning yawn and stretch. I heard something pop and I asked her, "What was that that popped?" She answered, "It was my skeletons."

Last week Sister informed Marc and I that Tuesday was the last day of April. I checked the calendar and informed her that she was right. She slumped her shoulders and head, stuck out her bottom lip and pronounced, "Oh, I'm gonna miss April."

You know, as a mother, when your are in the bathroom that is the best time for your kids to tell you things... important things like, "Mom! There's a lizard in the house!" From the seated position I exclaim through the door, "What do you mean a lizard? In the house?" Sister had just gone out to get the mail so I wondered if maybe she saw one out there and was confused about where the lizard was. So I, again, asked her where the lizard was and she, again, told me it was here in the house. I then asked, "Can you come show me?" The bathroom door creaked open and I could see her little eyes peeking through with a concerned emotion lingering on her face. When I looked to see what she had in her hands I saw that it was a Geico Advertisement... I had to take a picture:

She loves to play jokes!

A few weeks ago when we were all ready for Spring and it still hadn't sprung, Sister informed me, "Mom, it's going to be cold tomorrow and my nose is not warm enough. Last Wednesday my nose was cold and I want it to be warmer. My nose is just not strong enough yet. When it is strong with it stay warm? Maybe if I had a patch to get it warmer."

Ah yes! She has some funny insights!

She also has some antics that make me laugh too. Like, on the last Thursday Daniel and the family were here, she was having fun playing with her cousins. She was also having fun getting out one of Grandma Judy's games and was lining up all the cards and playing pieces. It was quite a mess so I helped her clean it up and told her, "no more." A while later I was in the kitchen and I kept hearing something but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I got talking to my sister and forgot about it for a bit. After Kirsten left I could hear the sound again so I finally peeked around behind the island and I saw this:

She had been trying to sneak the game out to the playhouse that I told her she couldn't play with. I am surprised at her ability to stay behind the counter and hide for at least 20 minutes hoping I would leave so she could run out the back door... ha! ha!

She keeps us laughing!

Grand Stair Case

2013-04-24T22:40:00.001-06:00

There are so many "stairs" we take in our lives.

The easy up and down in the house ones.

The back porch ones.

But, in Utah state, their are GRAND ones.

Marc, for over a month, had been planning a backpack trip to the Grand Stair Case Escalante National Monument with Brother and our nephew, Bryan.

Bryan was all excited and rearing to go, but Brother on the other hand, was, well, anxious.

I've told you about Brother before and how his anxieties and fears can try so hard to keep him from doing anything new. So we have been preparing him ever since Marc brought up the idea. There were days that Brother was excited enough to mention that he was going backpacking to family or friends and there were other days where he would randomly yell out, "I'M NOT GOING!!!"

So began Brother's slow, steady climb to accepting the challenge to go on a backpack trip with his dad and cousin.

As much as we tried to keep him on the slow stairway to his first ever backpack trip, it regretfully became one of the steepest staircases I have ever witnessed just the day before leaving.

He was completely and utterly in tears and a pile of nerves and fear on the floor.

We strongly contemplated not sending him. It is so hard to tell when we are pushing him past his anxiety or pushing him past his limits. We were at a loss as to what to do. So, I did what any parent of Brother would do... I sent a desperate text to his teacher at night excusing myself for sending a "teacher" text during her "mommy" time at home and asked her if Brother had talked about this particular trip at all to her in a positive light (he shares more with his teacher sometimes than he does with us). She replied, first telling me that she is always a teacher and then let me know that Brother had indeed told her that he was going camping with his dad with a big smile on his face.

I knew right then, that we were dealing with anxiety and that, it would be tough, but he would do it.

Backpacking in. Two nights camping out with the boys. Searching for petroglyphs and Indian ruins.

And guess what! When it came time to hop in the car Thursday afternoon, he got right in without a problem or a whine!

Not only did he get in the car with success, but the entire trip was a success!

Brother LOVED it! He absolutely LOVED it! And he did fantastic! Marc was so happy. He had such a great time with his son and his nephew.

He also took some awesome pictures! Here are a bunch for you to see.

I think he had this smile on his face the entire time! And I have to say, that the Fragile X low muscle tone didn't seem to slow him down from packing his own pack! (And Marc packed it as light as he could for him).

Some of the views they saw, including the dwellings in the mountainside pictured in the bottom two pictures.

Their campsite and backpacking food setup. Brother LOVED the Mountain House stew and that is saying something!

It's a beautiful area down there with the river, greenery and the redrock all surrounded by rocky mountains

Brother was SO excited when they saw the petroglyphs that he wanted to hug them. He couldn't have been happier. He loves learning about ancient indians and this was dream come true.

One of the only pictures of Marc the entire trip. He is such a great dad. It's not everyone who wants to take on the challenge of taking their child with special needs on a backpack trip just to encourage a good father-son relationship. Marc is amazing!

As they were about to leave Bryan spotted the mountainside dwellings. There is one in the top right of this photo.

close-up

This shows what a task it must have been to get home each day...
hope they had a ladder, cause I can see this is not where they placed grand staircase...

More writing on the wall...

My favorite picture of Bryan from the trip.

striped mountainside

Marc got a beautiful shot of this natural arch. Brother named it "The Bridge of Narnia!" Tee hee... man, I love that kid!

Brother took this stick pretty much everywhere with him and enjoyed drawing in the sand with it.

Brother didn't want to cross the river so Bryan would take his pack and Marc would carry him across... aw, wish I would have been there for that one.

Just love this one

Bryan and Brother on the hike out.

Views from the road on the way down

They stopped by the museum there too and Brother was very excited about that too!

So there you have it.

Brothers "staircase" that led him to the Grand Stair Case Escalante National Monument. I think, if he could subside his anxiety, he would tell you that it was worth the steps to get there.

Bowling Connections

2013-04-22T15:18:00.003-06:00

OK, so these pictures doen't even show Daniel, but, he was there. This was one of the last big activities we did with Dan and his family before they left home. I had debated not going because my kids are so hard to handle in situations such as these, but they LOVE bowling, they LOVE Dan and his family and Grandma offered to buy fries, so we went.

It was just as crazy as I thought it would be, but also so much fun. I loved seeing all the cousins bowling together. They were so cute. And my kids were a lot of fun. I do wish I would have taken more pictures, but these are better than nothing.

Brother has some great bowling skills! I think all the field trips with his school classes have paid off!

I have to post this short little video Marc got because it makes me laugh. Brother, is full of all kinds of antics and this one made me chuckle. It's only 13 seconds, so watch...

Sister was an absolute hoot! I think this is the only picture Marc got that wasn't entirely blurry! She spent most of her time jumping up an down to celebrate each bowl. She is very competitive and very animated so they make a fun combo...

I don't have a video of her, but these blurry photos of her may give you a bit of an idea:

It was so fun for a whole week to have our family all in one place for gatherings. It is such a treat to have everyone together. We are so close as siblings that it just felt good to laugh together without missing Daniel. I think my mom and dad were happier than any of us though to see all their kids and grandkids together in one place.

I am very blessed to have my family as close as they are geographically and emotionally. FaceTime, email, and phone calls are definitely a blessing we often take for granted.

I was talking to my aunt (my mom's twin sister, Jane) about how nice it is just to be able to pick up the phone and talk to loved ones anytime we want to. In fact I was talking to her the night I took these pictures:

Sister and Baby actually asked me to take these pictures! Cute huh! They wanted to sit by the flowers and Baby said, "picture?"

I am so thankful that my daughters are so close. It is such a blessing. I hope it lasts their whole lives. They'll need each other.

At bedtime, Sister will get into bed and it is not long until we here Sister whining because Baby is climbing over her face to get into bed next to her on the other side.

When we walk in to rescue Sister's face from the scarring of Baby's knees they both start giggling as they pull the covers over their heads and Sister exclaims, "I'm a big sister, huh mommy?" and Baby giggles even more. I love it!

It reminds me of the fun times sharing a room with my 2 sisters. 3 of us in one room. It seems you never hear of that anymore, sharing rooms. I loved it... most of the time... of course I was a typical teenager and it didn't work for me all the time, but, the good times are very much remembered! We shared lots of late night talks, giggles, stories, crushes, snoring, messes, artwork, secrets and ideas. Kirsten was so little when we shared a room but when she was a baby I used to let her fall asleep on my tummy and I sang to her a lot. Jessie and I sometimes had to split the room in half so that I have my side the way I wanted it, and visa versa. Above our beds were the place we could always hang all our items of personal interest so as we got older the bunk beds just wouldn't suffice as the bottom bunk didn't get enough wall space. Ha ha! Oh, sharing a room with your sisters is just a great way to create amazingly tender memories.

So, although, my girls don't share a bedroom because of their sleep schedule differences I am glad they get a few minutes each night to share giggles.

And, that my friends, is how this connected from bowling to sisters... amazing how my mind wanders (smile).

The Dragon, The Prince and The Maiden

2013-04-19T00:05:00.000-06:00

I wanted to post more about my brother, Daniel's visit here but Marc has the pictures from the last activity on his phone and I can't get to them right now, so you'll just have to wait...

But...

In the meantime I can post about something else.

Yep, I can do that, I can make something up out of thin air just because I like to write!

Once upon a time there was a fair maiden.

Don't you just love stories that start like that? Oh, I do. It means there is going to be suspense, love and a happy ending.

This fair maiden had dreams of one day meeting her handsome prince, getting married and living in a castle.

See, it gets good already! You know that the prince will be handsome and heroic, because, well, it's a story...

Only 6 months after her 18th birthday she met her dashing young (young is a general word, he was young, but much older than she) prince. She fell in love with him at first sight.

The prince, however, had other maidens in the kingdom who also vied for his attention. so this young 18-year-old maiden was just not on his radar, yet...

Then he heard her laugh.

A lot.

And boisterously.

He wasn't sure if he really liked the loudness of her laugh but was intrigued that she laughed often. He became so intrigued by her happiness that he accepted a request for a date one night.

They fell in love.

They got married.

They had a son.

They were happy, he was happy. A little slow developing, but always, happy.

Years later they had a daughter.

They were happy, their son was happy and she was happy. Also, a little slow developing, but always happy.

Alas, their lives were suddenly struck by an evil dragon. The great Dragon Exe. Oh, he was a fearful dragon! He had eyes that pierced your soul with despair and grief, claws that could cut you down to size and a fiery breath that could easily evaporate your hope.

During the long and great battle with Dragon Exe they were sent another daughter. The fair maiden and the prince were so distraught as they did not want to bring another child in this family that would have to face this great dragon.

Their despair was all for naught. For this baby girl brought a new hope and light to this little family, not because the great Dragon Exe had left her alone, but because she was such a joy despite the ongoing battle with the dragon. With her, the fair maiden and the prince realized that the Dragon Exe would never go away but they could learn to live with this beast in their kingdom because the people in the kingdom had all rallied together to keep the fair maiden, her prince, and their children safe from the cruel intentions of Dragon Exe.

They realized that they were, indeed, not fighting this battle alone, but with many people on their side willing to put on their armor and fight along side them when needed.

During this time of banding together there was a great love that grew in them all for the maiden's and prince's young children. The love that they radiated gave everyone the strength to battle on.

Although there was strife, fear, and sometimes tears, they all, because of the 3 children, lived happily ever after.

Ah, don't you just love a good story?

Reading over that again makes my life seem a little more heroic and noble. I think I would have to challenge each of you to look at your life and make up a story for it, you'd be surprised how great it sounds when you're wanting to make it into a fairy tale.

I know it may seem far fetched but I was inspired to write this down partly because of a song that my sister, Jessie told me about. It really has nothing to do with my story, yet everything to do with my life. You'll be touched by it too. So, I'll post it hear so you can listen to it and be inspired too, knowing that your life is great, you are great, and your trials are meant to build you.

If you don't want to watch the video, then you can just look at this sweet picture of the 3 children in the story, because they will make you happy too, just seeing them smile.

This photo is one of my all time favorites taken in 2011.
I just love how it captures their love for eachother.

Photo taken by Pointe Digital

Care Bears, Tigger, Elmo, Sully and so much more!

2013-04-16T16:44:00.003-06:00

As I have told you before, my mom is the queen of yard sales.

Therefore she is the queen of kid's entertainment supplies.

Her house is a child's dream!

Not only does she have every toy possibly imaginable, but she also has costumes to satisfy any child's imagination.

With all the cousins together this week I know that my mom's playroom and costume closet will get well used. Here are the pictures just of yesterday's imaginations come to life:

This picture makes me laugh because my mom actually has two Funshine Care Bear costumes and just happened to pick up the huge stuffed version at a yard sale last weekend! You see cute Li'l Mr, I'll explain his "photo stance" later.

We all laughed pretty hard when Sister came out in this costume because it is meant for a 18 month old... tee hee!

Elmo, a Unicorn and Sully... could you get a better trio?

The chimp, Jasmine and the Cowgirl

The unhappy Easter Bunny, the other cowgirl, Lazy Town and the boy in the orange shirt (also known as Brother)

Snow White, Pink Poodle and the orange monster

Stitch (also made an appearance back at Christmas), witch and a dragon

Baby was so happy to sneak into a few with Minnie Mouse, Snow White and the Baboon.

The last one, after this they were just swapping costumes for more photo ops,
but we weren't as entertained at that point... so the pictures stopped.

Brother really loves Li'l Mr, he tried to hold him and love on him as often as possible.

I loved when I would take Li'l Mr's picture he would squat down, his mom explained that he learned it from her because when she took his picture she would squat down to get to his level to get a good picture, so now he thinks that's what you do. Awe, I love kids!

And Baby just cracks me up! She has started this new thing where she has to be REALLY cheesy for the picture. So funny!

I was taking the picture because it made me laugh to see her wearing the horn helmet with her princess dress. It just seemed so fitting. And there's Li'l Mr in the corner crouching down for his photo op.

Goblins in the Valley

2013-04-15T22:54:00.000-06:00

Marc got to go on a Scout campout with Brother last weekend.

They went to a place called Goblin Valley. It is called that because the rock formations look like thousands of little goblins all over the little valley.

If you've never been here before, but it still looks familiar to you, it may be that you are a fan of the movie, "Galaxy Quest"

Marc said they had a great time, that our son was a little bit of a stinker sometimes, but for the most part, did pretty good. It seemed, from the pictures that they had a great time hiking around the valley of goblins.

Brother was so happy to be able to hike and climb around. He loves this kind of thing!

I love the snow-capped blue mountains topping the red goblins of the valley.

He loves caves, I am sure this was one picture he asked Daddy to take.

Here is Brother hiking with his scout leader, great guy that Varden. He takes the boys on quite the fun adventures.

I am so glad that Marc was able to go, not just for Brother's sake, but because that Father-Son time is so precious. We don't get a lot of opportunities to go on a one-on-one outings with our kids, so this kind of thing is a great opportunity.

The day that Brother and Marc got home was the same day my brother and his family came in from Illinois for a week-long visit. We got together all of our family on Sunday for a big dinner at our house.

It was so fun to have the entire family together again.

And let me tell you, we love food. We were definitely gobblin' all the food that was here! Ha! Sorry, I just couldn't help tying it all in...

Special Track Star

2013-04-10T22:59:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago I had mentioned that Brother had a track meet. It was canceled due to rain.

He had another one before Spring Break but I didn't know the time and missed his competition.

Today was the day I got to see my special track star in action.

Marc took some time off work to come watch him too.

Brother is involved in this track team along with the mainstream kids in the Junior High. He gets to ride the bus there with all the regular education kids and then they have his special needs team compete just before the mainstream kids compete.

I can't really explain it, but Marc and are were so giddy with excitement as we watched him walk about the track field with his coach and fellow teammate. We got a kick out of the other kids from the track team who knew Brother by name and said "hi" or patted him on the back as they'd walk by. My heart was so full as I saw him being treated like "somebody" and not a "nobody."

Brother's Junior High only had two team members today, and the other special needs team had about 7 or 8, I think. Their first event was the long jump. I was the helper who got to write the jump lengths down on the paper. Brother was the last one in line and they got 3 tries each. It was so fun to watch all these young people with special challenges pushing themselves to hard to achieve their best. It was truly inspiring, really, seeing that they have so much working against them physically and mentally, yet they still try their hardest with smiles on their faces and are so proud they did it. They don't care what the end result is, they just care that they did it.

My favorite! Look at those arms! He thinks he's flying!

The icing on the cake, and what brought tears to my eyes was when Brother started the run for his first jump and all of a sudden I noticed the cheers of some fellow schoolmates cheering him on sincerely. Calling him by name and telling him he could do it! He was so proud as he ran that stretch to the sandpit. All three times he was cheered on by the small crowd that had gathered on the far side of the track field. All three times he walked over to me for a high five and a shy hug, even though, earlier he had announced to Marc and I that we were to go home.

After the long jump we walked over to the starting blocks to get ready for the 100 meter race. It was so awesome to watch Brother's coach get him all set up in the starting blocks, showing him the stance he needed to start off a good run. I was cheering and screaming for him. Heck, I was proud of him for staying in his lane the entire run, but then to notice the entire section of bleachers cheering him on was amazing. Then to see him take 2nd place among the 7th graders that ran made me so proud.

Getting some last minute advice from his coach.

And he's off!

Getting into gear!

He's flying!

Here he is in his second place he held the whole way to the finish line.
(Next time I'm bringing my awesome camera and not just my iPhone)

Again he came to find me for a high five and a shy hug. Marc couldn't have been prouder at that moment. We were both grinning with pride and humility in our son.

As we were walking by the stands we saw a familiar face and she told Marc that Brother had seen her and waved to her as he was running. Tee hee! Too cute. He is running a race, but still takes the time to wave to a friend. He's a great kid.

His last competition was the shot put. I panicked a little because, along with Fragile X comes the low muscle tone... and if you've seen Brother, he doesn't look like he has much muscle. So watching him throw a heavy ball I was just worried it would land on his head or his foot or someone else...

His coach is awesome!

I have no idea what his distance was, but I do know that it wasn't far. I didn't care. He threw that heavy thing and it went well beyond the the standing circle. He was so proud.

After it was all said and done, Marc and I just had to keep saying to each other what a great experience it was. We had to keep looking at the pictures and video and remember the cheers as he ran. At dinner time Brother wanted to see his pictures, he didn't give a lot of expression, but you could tell he was very proud of himself.

What a GREAT day! What a great son!

I need a question mark

2013-04-09T16:48:00.001-06:00

That's what Sister told me today when she had her Magic Treehouse book and wanted to mark chapter one. "Mom, I need a question mark."

Ha! I asked her, "Do you mean a bookmark?"

"Ya, a bookmarks," she replied.

She confuses words a lot. It gives me such a chuckle.

I need a bookmark for all the special moments in my life, like on Sunday when J.R. was playing with Baby and making her smile from ear to ear.

He's even still smiling with that death grip she has on his hair. What a trooper he is.

This one just makes me down right laugh out loud to see her face so scrunched up with her cheesy grin.
She couldn't have been any happier.

Not only did I want to take a picture of this moment because Baby was so happy, but I wanted to bookmark this chapter in my life to remember that J.R. still wants to be involved in Baby's life in some small way. She was only 3 months old when he left our care after 5 years to live with his parents. So they are just cousins, and not brother and sister the way Sister remembers it. She still asks about Kelsey and Bryan and asks if they are her brother and sister. We try to explain that they were like brothers and sister once, but that they are really her cousins. I think she is still a little confused. Bless her heart, she really enjoyed having all of us under one roof.

This moment had to be bookmarked because there was a time when I couldn't even get Baby to be interested in her own reflection. Now she is making faces in Grandma Lynne's funhouse mirror of a lamp. Baby can keep herself entertained with making faces in this reflective lamp for at least 20 minutes.

These pictures below? Well, of course they are a bookmark. It's my dad's birthday. He tried not to act like he enjoys us having a party for him, but I do know it makes him feel loved. One more year I get to spend with my daddy still around. I have to be grateful for all the people in my life and the time I am able to spend with them. I don't want to take advantage of any of them for a second, you never know what those moments will end.

What did I give my dad for his birthday?

A hug.

I know, creative...

but, I think he wanted to bookmark that moment (smile).

Our brother-in-law, Joel took this picture for us because we were both so matchy-matchy.

I had to bookmark this because it is so rare that my hubby and I ever wear something that looks alike and that day we both wore purple shirts, blue jeans and black flip-flops. Tee hee! I had to pose like we were a newly engaged couple getting our pictures done for invitations... although the cabinet may not have been the best background choice.

And this bookmark? This is because it really was "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree." One of my favorite songs from my childhood. This beautiful apricot tree is just 2 houses down from me and I was walking by it Saturday afternoon.

I wanted to share that picture because it needs to be a bookmark in my life knowing that new life begins all the time. It is beautiful and picturesque. It needs to be shared...

and bookmarked.

The Matterhorn or Mt. Timpanogos

2013-04-08T23:03:00.000-06:00

Marc and I have some great friends who live out of the country. They are like brothers to us. One of them, Thomas, lives in Germany and has a very active lifestyle. He texts us every so often to check up on us or let us know what he is up to.

A few weeks ago he sent me a picture of where he was skiing with some buddies.

Do you recognize that mountain peak? It's the Matterhorn. Yup. The Matterhorn, people, he was skiing below the Matterhorn! Amazing!

I wanted to show him how cool I was too and show him the mountain I live below and have a view of from my front window everyday so I snapped a quick shot of this from my camera on the dreary day that it was.

Do you recognize that mountain? Probably not, unless you live in Utah or know Utah really well. It's not famous like the Matterhorn but it is still breathtaking when you get to look out at it every morning.

A couple of days ago something that was shared on facebook caught my attention. It had been posted several times by friends and it had been mentioned several times that it would "bring tears to your eyes" and how it is "so true" and really "makes you think." So my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to watch this little clip that everyone was talking about.

It was very sweet and inspiring. It was a mother's montage or story about raising her sons and the struggles, trials and sweet blessings that had occurred throughout their lives and her own as she watched them grow. She talked about how as they grew up she started to miss them how they were when they were little and wished she had hung on to those moments more dearly. Then she talked about how it was now that they were moved out of the house and out on there own and how her house was now so quiet and it was only she and her husband sitting at the dinner table each evening. She reminisced about the many soccer games, baseball championships, proms, friends and school events that had passed behind.

It was beautiful to hear a mother speak of her children this way. To see that she had realized how blessed the days of trial and struggle were now that it was all gone.

After the little YouTube clip was over, I sat there staring at the "play" symbol on the screen of my phone for quite a while as I realized that what she had just described, what so many of my friends on Facebook related to, was not my reality.

At all.

So different, in fact, it was a little sobering because that was what I had planned my life to be like.

I thought that I would sit alone with my husband at the dinner table in the evenings after all our children had grown up and moved on into their own lives.

I will watch my children grow too, only they will be young in their minds forever.

I hope there will be proms and school activities to remember and look back on.

Marc and I will spend the rest of our lives with our children. They'll be with us at the dinner table each night. We'll take them on most vacations and outings. Whatever we plan will have to include them in some way, whether or not they come with us, we will need to either arrange for care or arrange for their comfort while traveling with us.

We won't have grandkids to come visit us or to spoil.

BUT...

even with all that being said, it is a beautiful life we have.

Our children will never fully understand what a bully means, even if they are bullied.

If our children are asked to Prom or dates out of charity, they won't know the difference, they'll just be happy to go.

Their innocence is so sweet and unassuming.

They smile so much and giggle at the littlest things.

So, you see, the woman I watched talking about her life after children are grown is like the Matterhorn. Most people have heard of the Matterhorn. It is beautiful and really is something many would like to see and many make special effort to get there. When someone gets to the top of the Matterhorn it is something to brag about and publicize the success of conquering it. Once you have climbed it, it is done. It was an accomplishment of grand proportions but all you have left are the memories of what you did. Now you can sit back and just enjoy life from the dinner table knowing that you did something that will leave a mark in the world.

I am like Mt. Timpanogos. Not everyone has heard of it. The locals are proud to say that they have climbed it, but if they were to talk to some one in Germany, I don't think they would fully understand what was so wonderful about making it to Timp when they had made it to the Matterhorn, the famous Matterhorn. When a person climbs to the top of Mt. Timpanogos their name, nor any others who hike with them, will not go down into history as someone who summited Mt. Timpanogos.

So, I may not be on the majority's parenting journey, but it is still an equally beautiful journey.

I'm Mt. Timpanogos.

What are you?

For now just a few pictures

2013-04-07T00:02:00.004-06:00

I miss blogging.

Really writing it all down.

I haven't done that for a while.

And today is still not the day.

So, for now, just some pictures (unedited) as promised, a couple of my favorites from our campout.

Pack Mule

2013-04-05T23:47:00.003-06:00

I love camping.

Marc loves camping.

Our kids love camping... as long as they are told about it ahead of time, well in advance, we have all their coloring books and crayons, snacks and food to preference packed and ready to go with us, clothing and jackets picked out and readied for them so I can put them into bag.

I even took my cool new camera on the campout and captured some good moments,

But, because it is late and I am in a hurry and I am exhausted from the full day I had, I will just leave you with some pictures of the adventure that Marc and I took with our iPhones.

Maybe this will get you all get geared up and then I can put on some awesome pictures later.

There's me in the bright green shirt :)

Just a cool picture of one of the local landmarks

On our way home we stopped at Jessie and Joel's house. We at lunch and just had a great time.
This is the "hut" that everyone helped Brother make because he wants a cool stall

Coming back from the hike

And now, here is me packing everyone's coats and jackets back down the trail because it warmed up and my kids don't hold their jackets... nope, I'm a walking closet ...

Bubble bums... tee hee! I'm a pack mule for Pete's sake!

Layering is always in style...

Climbing, Chasing, and Hunting

2013-03-30T22:47:00.001-06:00

I know, I get worn out just reading the title.

I LOVE to rock climb. I got hooked on it as a teenager, and by "hooked" I mean, I only did it a handful of times but I fell in love with it and wished I had more money to make it a sport of recreation more often. Marc and I went twice when we were first married and Marc wasn't as sold on it as I was, so we found other things that we both liked. Would you have ever guessed that we were big backpackers during our first 3 years of marriage? Ya, we've had some little adventures.

Well, we went rock climbing at and indoor climbing center for our date on Friday.

It. Was. So. Much. FUN!!

I was only able to reach the top a total of 3 times and belayed Marc at least 5 or 6 times and my arms were limp at my sides like wet noodles. Noodles, I say, wet, overcooked spaghetti noodles.

I am out of shape, but I guarantee I will get into shape for a new love. Marc is hooked too, so this is the sport we can do together. I can't do basketball and volleyball anymore because of my back and knees but my arms are still good and climbing is going to be my sport! Yes! It's such an adrenaline rush and I am excited to have a sport to do with Marc again, and on my own with friends.

After getting home and getting the kids in bed we watched "Chasing Mavericks" with Gerard Butler. Yep, I am a Gerard Butler fan. I am also a surfing fan and so is Marc so we have been excited to see this movie. We don't get to the theater often so the DVD player is our friend.

This movie is based on a true story. I love movies like that. This movie, was so good. I just loved it. The surfing in it is awesome, the love story is sweet and the lessons are memorable.

We loved the movie so much that we brought it to the family Easter party to watch with everyone.

Yep, that's where the hunting comes in. We were hunting for candy and Easter Eggs in Jessie's back yard. It has been a tradition for, I think, 9 or 10 years now to gather at Jessie's before Easter for the hunt and the dinner. We always have fun, and this year was no different.

Coloring eggs and playing a little basketball shoot were a few of the highlights of my day.

Here are some of the eggs the grandkids colored. They were having a blast. Brother made sure to inform me that he likes to color eggs but not eat them. Baby enjoyed stirring hers in the liquid so she only ended up with one when she finally got bored of it and ran off. Hers is the bright red one on the top left.

Sister had just as much fun dyeing her hands as she did the eggs. I wish I would have had a picture of her bright blue fingers. But, after Jessie did some searching on the internet we tried Whitening Toothpaste and it worked! We only had to repeat it once and it worked like a charm. So if any of you mothers are worried about sending your colored fingered children to church tomorrow, try the paste...

I love coloring eggs. Love it! I have to try very hard to let the kids have all the fun,
but I have to at least do one each year. So this was the one.

Then is was the basketball shoot in the basement. Sister was VERY excited about making her shots!

Marc kicked my butt, but I was giggle the whole time... did I just say "butt, but?" ... yep, I did. Hmmm. Kinda funny...

Well, after all the fun we had this weekend this is how I feel now.

This is Sister this past week. She loves to read. This day, reading must have been very hard work. She just laid down right on her book and took a nap. I put the blanket on her to keep her warm and so that she would sleep longer. She's so quiet and un-mischievous when she sleeps... I know... that makes it sound like a bad mom, but hey, she was warm and I got dinner made early.

Baby talk

2013-03-25T23:08:00.001-06:00

It has been such a thrill to not only hear Baby's voice but to hear her voice making sentences and singing songs. She started making requests a couple of months back and then it stopped. It started back up again these last 4-5 days and it has moved to full sentences, "I want mlk." or "Give me that." I love it!

I always want to record it but, then she'll stop as soon as she hears the camera beep. Tonight I actually caught her while she was busy drawing pictures with Sister.

It's a bit long (5-ish minutes) but you'll hear her sing, say what I ask her to say, and, towards the end, say things on her own.

This is a big deal around here so I just had to document it.

I also post this video hoping it may give another Fragile X mom out there hope for her daughter who may not be talking yet.

Enjoy.

New Project 3 from Rachael on Vimeo.

The little things...

2013-03-23T23:59:00.001-06:00

You know it's the little things in life that can make you happy.

Finding out that they make dark chocolate Cadbury Mini eggs and having your dad share some with you at a family dinner.

Getting to talk to both my sisters within the space of 1 hour because they needed me.

Having my sister-in-law call me to say they want our family to come visit them in Illinois for a week.

Having my other sister-in-law send me a picture of me making my nephew laugh.

Marc's mom and dad stopping by for a visit just because they are in town.

Seeing that my nephew, J.R., made a picture of him and Baby after she was born and his memory of her, as his Facebook profile picture.

My mom calling just to see how I am.

Friends texting to have their kids come play with my kids.

Clean sheets.

Compliments.

Sincere apologies.

Naps.

Hearing Baby say "Rachael" to get my attention.

Sister's hugs in the morning.

Baby's run (or lack thereof).

Brother's giggles.

Marc's kisses.

Watching snow gather in beautiful lines on my big maple tree in the back yard.

Young Women in the neighborhood who volunteer to be with my kids just to read with them or color with them, or just sit at the house while they sleep and I finish a movie at my friends'.

Being able to post all these little things to be remembered.

(smile)

From Donuts to Track in One Post

2013-03-22T09:35:00.000-06:00

I'm writing earlier today just because I have to get this off my chest.

First I will start with Dad's and Donuts at Sister's School.

It was Dr. Seuss' birthday that day and Sister L-O-V-E-S Dr. Seuss! They had a Dr. Seuss Day all planned and she had all her favorite Dr. Seuss books in her backpack ready to go for the big day. She had been planning on this day for a couple of weeks. But, Dad's and Donuts Day was not on her plan so when Dad showed up that morning to read with her and have donuts she was upset that her routine, her plan, had been seemingly ruined. As Marc walked into Sister's classroom to get her for their time together, Sister coiled up at her desk and crocodile tears began to flow.

Sister loves her Daddy, but he was not part of the plan that day. Marc saw that his daddy daughter date was not going to happen that morning, gave her a sweet hug and kiss, wiped a few of her tears and left.

I am sure he cried some crocodile tears of his own as he drove off to work wishing that his life with his children was a little closer to normal.

Then comes my turn for Moms and Muffins at Sister's school. I had prepared myself for the worst, that Sister may not even want me there because it was not part of her daily routine. I took Baby with me and we were off in cold of our Utah Spring to read and eat muffins with Sister.

I even had thoughts of bringing my camera to take pictures of the event. Sister smiling while holding her muffin and book. You know, the way you see other mothers do, or at least I do.

I walked into Sister's classroom with Baby in my arms because she was too upset that her routine of sleeping in had been interrupted and was too upset with me to cooperate and walk with me.

To my surprise, Sister grinned and giggled with excitement when I came in. I set Baby down to give Sister a hug. Baby assumed the "student" role and wandered about the classroom as if it was her own, so then it became a task to get Baby out along with Sister so we could have muffins and read. Finally with Baby in my arms and Sister at my side she bounced (literally) down the hall to show me where Moms and Muffins was taking place. She grinned and grinned.

She waltzed happily into the section of the lunch room where everyone was gathered. She smiled all the way up to the time of me informing her that "we have to wait here in line for muffins." Then it was as if switch was flipped.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No," she repeated as she shook her hands nervously next to her face.

I asked, "Do you just want to read?"

She nervously and quickly found a spot on the stage steps and we sat and I read to her. The entire time I was reading to her she nervously scanned the room and kept her eyes on every new body that entered. I wrapped my free arm around her to give her some sensory input, love and reassurance. After a few minutes of her trying to do what was expected of her she started to nervously turn the pages before I was done reading them and telling me, "I'm done. I wanna be done. I'm done."

So we got up and walked back to her classroom.

She was not bouncing down the halls happily this time. She was scanning nervously, and kept her hands next to her mouth and kept hurrying me along.

When we got to the classroom Sister was immediately calmed. It was so interesting to watch how instant her mood changed just because she was back in her environment.

Baby wanted to explore the classroom a little bit and the teachers said we were welcome to stay a bit so we did, only because I wasn't ready to carry Baby out of the classroom kicking and crying just yet. My back was still sore from the last escapade 20 minutes before. So, for my own selfish reasons we hung around the classroom.

It was so interesting to watch how at peace and at home both my girls were in that classroom. It was like they were at home. Content and happy.

When it was time to leave I wrestled Baby's jacket back on, swept her up into my arm along with my purse and we were off.

As I was walking down the hall, I was in a bit of a daze. I just kept thinking, "This is my life. This is how it is." As I watched other mothers entering with their children for Moms and Muffins, ready with their cameras and happy, "normal" children.

I wanted to cry as I walked by all the artwork hanging outside classrooms, flyers advertising extra-curricular activities for gifted and advanced students, posters about goals for reading or math that had been achieved throughout the school.

I started feeling numb as Baby began to cry because of the wind in her face as we walked outside and her stiffened and fighting body as I folded her into her car seat.

I sat in the car with it running answering a text about Brother going to a track meet today with all the regular education kids and if I wanted him ride the bus to the meet with them.

Did I want my son to be with the regular ed kids on the bus? It hit me that this is my life. I have to answer questions like this.

I set me phone down and started to drive home with Baby still whining because I had taken her from the wonderful classroom.

My mind spun as I thought about my morning and how abnormal it is from other mothers this morning.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNK!!!!!!!!!!!"

I slammed on my breaks and was caught in a stupor as I looked up at a big yellow bus with a bright red flashing red stop sign to the left of me. The bus driver was yelling at me and shaking his hands at me in disgust.

I apologized through my window and waited there for the sign to be retracted and my embarrassment and dismay along with it.

It was only a block away from my house.

I pulled into my driveway embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't notice the bus sign. There were no kids getting on on my side. I know because I remember thinking, "Oh, this is the bus my kids would be riding on with their peers if there weren't in special ed."

I pulled into my garage and wanted to cry.

Instead I came into the house and decided to write about it.

And no, I don't have any pictures to show you from this morning's Moms and Muffins experience...

BUT, I will, by dang, get some pictures of Brother at his track meet. Now that is a happy thought to end with. He is on the school track team! How cool is that? I mean how cool is that?!

Quirky, Sweet or in Between

2013-03-21T22:35:00.000-06:00

I really don't know how to describe my family...

I'll just show you some recent pictures and let you decide:

Yep. That is a goat. That is my mom holding a goat. It is not a real goat. Oh no, that would be weird. It's a porcelain doll goat... Someone gave it to my mom. I mean, hey, you can't turn it down if it's free...

Aunt Chelsea reading to Sister. Sister LOVES to read and just can't get enough of it. Chelsea was a little surprised, though that Sister chose such a long book. But, hey, I wasn't complaining, it kept Sister busy for at least 20 minutes.

Baby was giving Uncle Joel and Jman lessons on her iPod. I wish I would have gotten a the shot of her holding his finger and making it do what she wanted on the iPod. It was a crack up!

So, have you ever needed a flash light and some lipstick at the same time? No? Well, then I guess you won't be interested in this gem my aunt received recently--lipgloss, mirror and light all in one! Bwa ha ha! There is a light in the lid of the lipgloss! Seriously! What will they think of next?!

And this little video gem is definitely one of those tie breakers. It was a video message my mom sent me while I was on my Advocacy trip.

Quirky or Sweet?

For sure it made me laugh!

The Man and the Mannequins

2013-03-20T20:52:00.001-06:00

What do you do on your dates out with your spouse?

Do you plan something special like dinner and a movie?

Maybe a game and some ice cream?

Me and Marc?

Oh, we go to outlet stores and take funny pictures with the mannequins...

Tee hee! That's how we roll baby!

It's even funnier that they don't have heads...

OK, it's just funny anyway...

or weird...

however you want to look at it.

We had fun! And, I think, that's what matters.

Oh, and did I tell you that Aaron and Chelsea joined us on our creative date?

Aaron didn't want to be left out.

And Chelsea didn't want to be left out either.

No, that is not a mannequin in underwear behind them, it's a swimsuit. Sheesh!

Creative and spontaneous dates are always fun! I am just so glad that my hubby enjoys it right along with me. What a man! Love him!

While I was gone...

2013-03-16T23:59:00.000-06:00

Our kids were such good kids while I was in DC. Marc said time just flew by because of all the involvement with the kids.

I had all the meals ready in the freezer, meds filled, school and buses informed, doctor and dentist appointments rescheduled and a calendar all drawn out for Sister. So all Marc had to do was take care of the kids and he did a great job--he really is an amazing dad!

In fact, I was a bit jealous that he seemed to have such an easy time with it. I need as much help as I can get and still don't do all that I need to do. I had to keep reminding myself that I had most of the work done for him so that it wouldn't be as hard... so that is how I comfort myself when I think I can't quite hack it (smile).

I missed the kids.

It's so amazing how something so hard can be so dear to you. You know what I mean? Like after someone is not in your life anymore it is the little things that you miss.

It really missed hearing Sister's exclamations at every site we saw that was big or amazing. I love how excited she gets over the littlest things too, like just giving one of her favorite people a big hug. She does like this, stiff, happy, goody dance thing and it makes me giggle. I also really missed hearing all her mispronounced words. She has so many good ones and I never remember to write them down. I really need to make that a priority because stories like this one about the persimmon are always fun to illustrate.

Baby's squeezes were missed entirely, especially when my hives flared up the last night I was in DC. (Oh, did I tell you about my hives? Ya, that medication I started that I thought was a "good-to-go" wasn't so much. I got some pretty awesome hives, but luckily nothing as serious as it could have been, anyway...) I needed her love to give me comfort. She gives the best nose-to-nose and cheek-to-cheek hugs in the whole wide world and when she adds in some spit with the experience it just seals the deal! Ha!

Brother... you know it's funny... his smart alec remarks were actually missed a little bit. He has some pretty funny ones, like, "You're acting just like your mother!" or "Oh, I don't think so, missy!" It really made me miss him when I would hear some of the other young adults who were there self-advocating for FXS teasing others and joking around.

I saw a kid at the grocery store today while I was stock piling on apples, clementines (the new favorite) and chicken. He acted and looked just like he had Fragile X. I wanted to run right over and tell his dad, "Hey, my kids have Fragile X too!" I really do wish that I could do that and know it wouldn't offend anyone. But, I couldn't help but smile when he was sharing his opinion on ice cream with his older sister, he sounded just like my extremely opinionated FX son and I caught myself chuckling a little. I didn't want the dad to think that I was being insensitive or laughing at his son, so I piped up with a smile and said, "He reminds me so much of my son, the way he looks and acts and I couldn't help but smile." A few friendly words were exchanged and I still walked away wondering if this parent had ever even heard of Fragile X Syndrome.

Anyway, I don't know why, exactly I went off on that tangent, but there it is.

So with my final thoughts I will say this, Fragile X is constantly on my mind, 24-7, every second of each day. If I am not around it, I am thinking about it, if I am not thinking about it, I am seeing it, if I am not seeing it, I am hearing about it, if I am not hearing about it then I be at home living it. Maybe that's part of the reason I don't know how I would feel if there were a cure for Fragile X... I wouldn't know what to do with my life...

Ha!