Thoughts on Thoughts

Final Thoughts

2011-05-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

It's been a while. Lot's of stuff happened. More on that some other day.

Today we discuss rapture fail. I'll be brief.

Am I the only atheist that is slightly disappointed that the rapture didn't begin this weekend?

This was our best bet to get rid of all these snivelly, preachy, self-righteous, arrogant, holier-than-though pieces of shit.

I could delve deeper by explaining that evangelism is in direct conflict with much of what "Jesus said" regarding judgment, love for your neighbor, and all that jazz, but instead I'll swear petulantly. I loathe you assholes who think I need your crutches in order to walk on this planet.

I walk just fine. I'm more ethical as a non-crutch walker than I ever was while chugging the Jesus juice. I don't want your god, don't need your god, and haven't noticed that your addiction/reliance/codependency for 'him' is serving you all that well.

Good riddance to fundamentalists of any religion. I wish Harold Camping would have been correct. But instead, those of us cursed to live in the bible belt will still have to wait until noon on Sunday to by beer.

For those of you that believe, discuss it rationally when asked, and use it for good in your life and the lives of others: rock on. But to you evangelicals: piss off. You want rapture? Create it yourself. Please. I'll help you raise the money for all the rat-poisoned kool-aid your little hearts desire.

timely thought

2011-05-05T14:45:00.002-05:00

I was told once that I was wasting someone's precious time.

If your time was truly precious it could never be wasted.

Voluntary Thoughts

2011-05-03T22:35:00.001-05:00

Good day, all. I hope you're enjoying life. I sure am. And a beer. I like that too.

Here's the good old fashioned disclaimer: Explicit lyrics. Faint of heart, move on. There's a ton of porn out there on the world wide web with your name on it.

Once again, Osama bin Laden is dead. Is this the ninth time? Maybe he's part cat.

I am of many minds on this. I was a junior in high school when Columbine was shot up by 2 students. I was in my first month as a college freshman in Chicago when the Towers in NYC were felled. Therefore I feel that a fair portion of my adult life has been defined by our society's reaction to violence. If they got him, I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little happy. If it's propaganda, I won't be surprised. But what exactly changed between yesterday and today?

Some say 'hooray Bush', others say 'hooray Obama'. I say 'shame on every single one of us'.

Tonight I'm not here to talk politics. Not long, anyway. Too many people talk politics. Too much crap flies around from side to side. Too much extremism, too many 'facts' that are really opinions, too many, too much, too blah blah blah. But let them speak. Let the TV blast in place of the sound of freedom ringing.

Just don't, for one second, take it in your personal life anymore. I suggest that it is time to raise the bar. Voting alone no longer gives you the right to talk. Voting is the expectation. Want a reward? You got that fancy sticker, didn't you? Good enough. Now shut up and do something. You want change? Then fucking change. You want hope? Then hope. In the only useful context that those two words exist they're verbs.

Turn of the TV and go the hell outside. Not the mall, lazy ass. Out-fucking-side. Spend a day at the library. Find a Habitat for Humanity Project and go pick up a hammer and nail. Take a pie to your local fire station. Thank a teacher. This debate our society has become involved in is fucked. It's idiotic. I'm losing more respect for everyone every day. I want something I haven't wanted in a long time - to not live here anymore. No, not Earth, this isn't a suicide note. I mean the United States of America.

Call me a traitor. Call me a quitter. Call me whatever you want. You people embarrass me. I feel shame. It used to be anger, then righteous indignation, sometimes hatred, other times pride. Now, it's pretty much overwhelming shame. My health care blows, but at least its expensive. The people that give their time and lives to make my country great are pissed on. The rich get richer while the poor wallow. White collar criminals walk free in the penthouse apartments while a guy selling weed to feed himself gets 20 years in a for-profit prison. The Democrans and Republicrats are two sides of the same coin, and everywhere I go everyone talks but no one says shit. Not one party can substantiate in any way that there policies reflect the values they claim to adhere to.

My favorite quote on this whole bin Laden thing comes from facebook - "The CIA employee of the year 1981 was killed today by the CIA employee of the year 2011". You break it, you buy it. We broke that shit by not stopping our corporations and government from doing it. We bought it with 3000 innocent lives, plus the aftershocks that ripped into 3000 families. Well we broke it again. Sure he's dead, I'll drink to that. But it's not a celebratory beer, it's a stiff shot of whiskey for the realization that terrorism is a hydra, and there will always be another head.

The only effective way to fight terrorism (and bad politics) is to be kind to your neighbors, give to those who are less fortunate, and appreciate everything you have in life along with those that gave it to you. A better way to say it? "Ask not what your [world] can do for you, but what you can do for your [world]". For lack of ability to fight it, the best we can do is everything we can do to try and make sure our children live in a world where there is no reason for it.

Deficient thoughts

2011-04-28T14:40:00.002-05:00

NewsCorp announced that it wants to sell myspace.com for $100 Million. Is anyone else reminded of craigslist? No, I don't mean dead hookers. I mean the innumerable ads posted by people trying to sell their items for illogical sums of money. Sure, Rupert, it may have cost $100 Million retail, but you're in the resale market now, and there's a bit of a recession going on...

Or is there a recession going on? I can't tell. Home prices remain in the gutter, even the occasional marginal increase is still a dismal valley when plotted on a graph of the past 30 years. Wholesale and consumer prices are up on necessities, wages and unemployment are stagnant, and discretionary spending is down.

But the game has been called. Apparently we're 'off that'. The auxiliary verbs are being conjugated in the past tense. Some people are balls-out saying it, some are just hinting at it, and still others are doing that thingy with the auxiliary verbs.

So when the hell are things going to change? When does it go back to the way it was? Never.

8 years of republican 'leadership' bankrupted the workers rights our grandfathers fought (and sometimes even died) for. It privatized our services to the highest bidders while decrying the evils of a relatively fair (and historically LOW) tax structure. It stripped our civil rights. It taught us to believe that America can't, That straight is better than gay, rich is better than poor, and those that have need more while those that have not...well, fuck them.

2 years of a democratic follow up, and Mr ToT's is not quite sure how to feel. Part of me agrees with the "where's our change" singers that interupted that big Obama fundraiser last weekend. Another part of me sympathizes with what he has had to fight. And yet another part of me wonders who would actually want to be President of the US of A right now? Is this man sane enough to warrant sympathy? Is he so arrogant that it would be wasted anyway?

So here's the deal, Big O. I'll give you a year. A year to get out of wall street's pocket. A year to prove that you won't be remembered as the 'great divider'. And I'll support you on the platforms I agree with while quietly ignoring the fact that we are in more wars than we were last year, the enviroment is still getting gang raped by big business, Gitmo is still open, and gay people can't get the tax break I get.

Maybe I expected too much, maybe you have failed to deliver. Time will tell, but time doesn't wait.

One year. Then I'll be forced to pay attention to the farce that is the electoral college system.

Think on, rockers. And rock on, thinkers.

Mobile thoughts

2011-04-27T18:14:00.001-05:00

This is a test. This is only a test.

New app for posting. This is almost too trendy to bear. Or is it the start of something fantastic? Time, like a kid on the playground, will tell.

Finished Thoughts

2011-04-26T21:39:00.001-05:00

Life presents the glorious opportunity to learn something new every day, but some days seem built for reflection. They seem to be the days where you're trapped inside of a glass box 13 stories up in the air while the sun shines on the rest of the world. So here are some thoughts:

The only bad thing about an hallucinogen-filled past is getting Phish songs stuck in your head at random 10 years later.

I'll have a beer at lunch if I want. You make me take an hour break in the middle of my day. It's not long enough to continue living my life or be productive, but long enough to have a beer. So pour it up.

People lie too much. There's too much gossip and back-stabbing. But this is not human nature - this is the easy way out. Human nature is to persevere against the odds, live, love, procreate, and sustain. Being a punk is the opposite of human nature. It's time that we demand more from each other.

People who whistle in public deserve to be stabbed.

Kids are never in the way. Up to the age of 16 you're allowed to bump into, or trip over, whomever/whatever the hell you want. The adult should anticipate that shit and move out of the way, or have the emotional maturity to get over it instantly.

Life is good. Keep thinking.

reality thoughts

2011-04-26T21:37:00.002-05:00

Based on what tv shows are currently popular, one must assume that humans either have an excellent sense of humor or no self-awareness.

True Economics

2011-04-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

Long ago, a man saw a need for socks. People were buying them, and buying a lot of them. If stores were selling a lot of them they must have a need to get more of them from somewhere. And they did. So he went to the town bank. He spoke with a man he had known his whole life. He told the man about this need, and the man agreed that where there was a need, it should be filled. So he loaned the first man the money to start a sock making factory.

The first man built the factory on the outskirts of town. He gave a job to everyone that needed one. He used the best quality materials, treated his workers well, paid a living wage, and soon his business took off. It did so well that within the first year he was able to give jobs to people from the surrounding towns too.

Understanding that no man is an island, and that the key to maintaining wealth is to preserve it, he continued paying a living wage to all of his workers. He lived in the biggest house in town, but he knew that unless the other houses were nice and neat, his house wouldn't hold it's value. All of the kids in town went to school with his kids. So he also provided health care for his employees because he knew that if they or their children became sick it would impact his business and his family too.

The town prospered and grew, and word of his success spread far and wide. Stores across the land proudly sold his socks. And people noticed.

The bank man that loaned him the money had recently joined a group of other well-monied men that called themselves 'investors'. And they saw great potential in the sock factory. The sock man's children were now grown, and none had even the slightest interest in staying in the sock business. So when the bank men approached him with a new idea, he took the deal. The idea was simple: Lots of people had loaned a little bit of money to the bank men. The bank men took that money and bought the sock factory, confident they could make a profit for themselves and the people that had lent them money.

And they did. The factory kept churning out more and more socks. The sock factory man retired and lived nicely on a beach somewhere, and the shareholders that now owned the factory were making money for doing nothing. It was the perfect. Until the threading machine broke. It was the biggest machine in the factory. It had run for 40 years without so much as a hiccup, that is until it suddenly seized. The manager of the factory began to collect quotes for repair, but the machine was too old and parts weren't available. A new machine had to be purchased, and due to inflation and technological advances, it cost more than a month's payroll.

The bank men knew that they couldn't reduce the payout to the shareholders to cover this cost. If they did, no one would ever loan them money again. But there was good news. By 'investing' more of that shareholder money in the best machine available they could immediately reduce their staffing needs by over 20%. When they still needed more cuts in order to protect themselves from a loss one of the bank men proposed lowering the wage for new workers. After all, this was just socks. Anyone could do it, so why pay more than they have to?

Immediately payroll decreased another 10%. And if that was just part of the normal turnover, why were they paying the 60 year olds who had worked their 40 years so much money? Old people can't do as much, and they had just learned that young people come cheaper. Another of the bank men had the idea to force the older workers into retirement. In the past, retirees had always been given a pension, but would the shareholders tolerate paying someone not to work? Of course not, so that was cut. And just like that, payroll was low enough to cover the cost of the machine...for now.

This pattern continued for many years. Eventually everyone at the factory was making the least they could possibly make, and the town was worse for the wear. All the local stores had closed because no one could afford to shop there anymore. The factory no longer paid for health care, and because sick time was limited to 6 days a year children often went to school ill, simply having no other place to go. With the health care gone, the hospital couldn't stay. With the stores went the other jobs, with the jobs went the landscaping companies that kept the yards looking nice, the repair companies that updated the houses, and the restaurants and parks that helped support tourists and other visitors. Since the owners of the factory didn't live in the town, or even know they owned part of a factory in many cases, no one who could stop it was there to witness what was going on.

Then one day, one of the brothers of a bank man returned from a vacation in a country called China, where he had seen the most marvelous things. But he never went to the Great Wall, or the Forbidden City. He spent his whole trip in a factory. He quickly assembled all the bank men, who now referred to themselves as the 'Board of Directors', and excitedly related what he had learned: For less than the cost of one month's payroll, the whole factory could be moved to to this place called China. Then, for less than the cost of the next months payroll, it could be operated for an entire year.

The shareholders, not one of which lived in the town of course, were delighted. Dividends could increase by $.05/share/month, but that was enough because, after all...it was free money for them, so the measure passed a vote.

The factory was shuddered and relocated 15000 miles away. The town? It's gone now. The bank? It's one of the biggest in the world. 2 years ago they were bailed out by the taxpayers of their country when bad loans got called in en masse. But this year they're back. They posted a record profit and didn't pay a dime in taxes.

Happy Tax Day, America.

Tasty Thoughts

2011-04-16T10:43:00.000-05:00

Do you love your dog? Your cat? Your parakeet? Your pygmy marmoset? If you're like most people in a developed, first-world country, you do. But how much do you love them? I say there's a good chance that you love them too much. And not just you lonely sheep farmers, I'm talking to you, middle America.

Now animal abuse should not be tolerated. The companionship of an animal can be invaluable, and is to millions of people across this planet. Animals do a lot of good, chiefly because they bring happiness. Furry little packages of happy. That's so cute I just threw up in the back of my mouth a little.

But every time I hear someone call their dog their "baby" or their "kid", I want to stamp their skull into the pavement. Too violent? Let me qualify it: The person's skull, not the pet's. Foreigners, take note that it is now okay because in the US of A we value pets over people.

You can interpret your own damn statistics. Isn't it enough I'm providing them for you?
-45.4 Billion. That's the number of dollars spent on pets in the USofA in 2008
-62.6 Billion. That the number of dollars spent on public education in the USofA in 2008. All of it.
-5000. The estimated number of animal shelters in the USofA
-1500. The (rough) number of shelters for abused women/children in the USofA
-$6.8 Million. The amount of Michael Vick's 2-year deal with Philly, signed in 2009
-80,500. The number of people Michael Vick's salary could have saved from homelessness

In 2006 animal rights activists tried to block an oceanic wind farm from construction off the coast of California because it would disrupt the migratory paterns of a nearly extinct species of bird.

Birds are food. Food is something we can't live without. Energy is something we can't live without. The logical solution? Eat all but 2 of the birds - one male, on female. Feed the rest to those battered women and homeless kids that we just don't give a shit about. Then put the remaining birds in a zoo where we can all marvel at them and pine over their sad fate. Our kids can watch their bizzare mating practices and kackle with glee. The birds can do it a bunch, then our grandkids can point and kackle at their kids. Which we will be able to do, because we didn't do something stupid like risk our own continued survival to protect a species dying of natural causes. Eff you, California. Don't come crying to me when the San Andreas Fault decides to shake your appletini's for you once and for all!

Animals have their place in this world. We need to recognize where that is: Under us in the food chain, but not under our boot. It's time for logic, reason, and rationality. It's time for real, honest thought.

And your pet is not a child. Well, not your child anyway. Weirdo.

New and Improved! Better Tasting! Fortified with Vitamins and Minerals!

2011-04-14T15:00:00.000-05:00

So I kept up with this really well for a month or so. Then I moved, had a bunch of other crap happen, and kind of fell off. Looking back over the posts I see some commonalities and differences: some are really great, some are pretty crappy, some are funny, others are hostile, some are easy and some are trying too hard. But they're all too long. So brevity is the name of the game now. I think this will represent an improvement. And I just heard a small sigh of relief (looking at you, Jackie). There may still be an grand essay from time to time, but I'm not in college anymore, so don't count on it. I will contribute every day that I can and you are invited to contribute as well. There may also be a migration over to word press in the near future, more to come on that...umm...in the future...
Today's thought: Glenn Beck got kinda'-fired from Fox News. Maybe they are moving away from divisive and erratic hate speech? Or maybe people really aren't that nuts? Or maybe P-Diddy was right all along: it really is all about the Benjamin's. Baby. Either way, it can't be anything but good. Maybe all of these guys and gals are on their way out the door. Maybe we'll have real news again one day. As much as my liberal friends decry the Fox News, there are channels and shows that pander to the liberal audience as well. They are just as much a part of the problem. Information should never be beholden to any interest but its own: being known.

This psuedo-firing can go in the right direction for all of us, but it needs to be a demand by the people and for the people. I leave you with a thought that I happen to think is pretty freakin' excellent (and relevant):

"A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow the liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy. While the people are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when once they lose their virtue then will be ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal invader."
-Samuel Adams

What have you people done????

2011-04-05T22:36:00.000-05:00

Damn it's great to be back. It's been nearly 2 months, but get over it. I've been busy. Beyond busy. I'll do my best not to let it happen again, but it wasn't really my choice this time either. So dry your eyes, and let's begin.

To recap what I've missed: The Middle East is in chaos, the rights of women in America are being viscously assaulted, civil servants are being demonized, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, the Republican Party has started the circus side-show roll call for 2012 presidential candidates, education funding is being gutted, Japan is pretty much done for, the global economy may actually be getting worse, houses won't sell, corporations won't invest, the US is engaged in 4 wars that we can't afford, the Hope and Change Guy seems to be offering neither of the two, I'm sure there are things happening in Europe too (but let's face it, we don't really care), and on top of it...the planet we rely on for survival seems to be shaking us off like a bad hangover.

F*ck.

I'm gone for less than 40 days and you guys let this happen? It will be a long time before I feel comfortable leaving you to your own devices again. Let's address it all, shall we? Someone's got to clean up this mess.

The Middle East - it's long overdue for these guys and gals. Let's just hope it all goes in the right direction when the dust settles. Lots o' pundits asking why it isn't happening here. Answer? Running water. Most of us still eat pretty well, still have access to entertainment, basic freedoms haven't really been hit any harder than Bushy Jr. hit them, and we like blowing shit up. But above all, we have sinks toilets and showers. When that stops, the rich are screwed. Until then, volunteer in your community for a few hours a week and vote. Do what you can when you can.

Pro-Life v. Pro-Choice - one day I will address this in a poignant essay that will be reprinted in magazines, newspapers, and aggregated headline feeds across the western world. Today is not that day. Today I will point out that abortions have been happening since ancient Egypt, and probably before then too. Why make a woman do this in a back alley with a coat hanger? You can't stop abortions, and with modern pharmacology you probably won't even reduce them, you'll just make them less humane, which in turn will affect the fetus even more negatively. The only thing worse than death to you religious types is a slow and painful death. Until my essay is composed, please see Freakonomics and The Cider House Rules for more comprehensive emotional and rational reasonings.

Rich getting richer v. poor getting poorer - Stratification limits opportunity. This is going to screw us all over. I say this from my comfortable house in my quiet and crime-less suburban neighborhood. For you Reaganonimicists, trickle down isn't working. For you socialists, get better at PR. The American Dream has us all convinced we are just temporarily not uber wealthy. 95% of the world makes less than I do, and I'm not even in the top 25% in the USA. Does this situation seem tenable to you? Me either. Which do you think is temporary? Yup - the lots of money one.

2012 - The best hope that any of us have for the 2012 election is that an act of god/buddah/gaia/whatever will delay campaigning for as long as humanly possible. The shorter it lasts the better we will all be. I'm thinking October 2012 will be the next time I flip to a news broadcast on TV.

Education funding - We need teachers. They deserve to be paid very well. If you don't believe this, please find the nearest gun and chew on the barrel while pulling the trigger. We all need food, water and air, and you don't deserve any if you don't recognize the value of public servants.

Japan/The Earth - Show Japan some love. Nuclear power is still the best thing we've got (which sucks, but is true), and we need the Japanese to continue advancing technology for us, cause we're not getting it done. Global warming is real, it is happening, it is getting worse. Take a bus, walk to the store, use a fan in lieu of the A/C or an extra blanket in lieu of the heat. Cut back by choice before we have to cut back by force.

Houses/the economy/corporations - It's time to go medieval on these corporate punks. Hire. Hire and people will have money to spend on the crap you sell. Like houses. It's win/win. If 'trickle down' is so successful, the turn on the spigot, bitches. If it's not, which seems obvious at this point, let's do some redistribution in the form of hiring. Don't want the feds to do it for you? Do it yourself. The best defense against socialism is successful capitalism. Go. Hire. Win.

Obama/War - The only reason the supporting Libya is coming under fire is because we are over-committed elsewhere. I'm disappointed. I expected more from you, sir. As did everyone else that cast their vote for hope and change. You have at least a year and a half left and I hope you spend it wisely.

Europe - whatever. I still ask, and have not received a satisfactory answer: If America is better than everyone else in the world, why do we work so many more hours and years of our lives to come out with less for ourselves and each other? I want health CARE not health insurance. I want to retire someday. I want what so many others have, and I work for it, but will likely never receive it. Are we resigned to mediocrity? It seems so.

More later? Yes. Until then, think.

Actionable Thoughts

2011-02-11T10:21:00.001-06:00

As many of you already know, the State of Texas has somehow lost $25 billion. Wouldn't it be nice to have that kind of money to lose? And of course, they will build the bridge over the deficit on the backs of the poor and our children. Why tax an oil company when you can stick it to the kids?

How funny that the same people that decry running federal deficits because of their impact on the children turn around and defy the constitution of Texas by allowing education funding to dip below mandated levels, thereby screwing over the same children they claim to protect.

This is beyond hypocrisy. It's what urban dictionary aficionados would refer to as bungholery. It's posturing. It's arrogant, needless, shortsighted, and dangerous.

So they want 13% cuts in a state that already falls $6 billion short of the funding it needs to properly educate it's children. How can we allow this? As a Democrat, you cannot allow your children's future to be stripped to cover a deficit the Republicans built. As a Republican, you cannot allow the constitution of the State of Texas to be defecated upon. School funding is protected by the very document that gave life to this state. The document that protects us, empowers us, and defines us. Both sides of the aisle should be up in arms. If they are not, then they are not doing their job - they are not serving you, their constituent.

Yes, there are reforms that are badly needed to school funding. Yes, there are cuts that could be made, need to be made. But these cuts must be made as a result of vision and strategic planning, not blind desperation.

Those of you who think this will not impact your life are sadly mistaken. If this passes, what's next? Next year the deficit will be even larger, this has already been stated as fact. Where do the cuts come then? Do private schools start paying taxes? Do magnet schools get shuttered? Do football programs get the axe? Do teacher/student ratios change? Do we start hiring teachers based on price instead of quality? Do we lose great educators and administrators?

If this measure passes, the question becomes "when", not "if".

America leads the world in creativity, and that's about all we have left. I don't mean that as an insult, just a reality check. American minds created the iInternet. Google. Facebook. Twitter. And the iPhone. To cut funding from Art programs, and other special programs, is to cut our future off at the knees. We are moving into a future where creativity will be a prerequisite to maintaining the most basic of survival needs. Competition for virtually everything else is already slipping beyond our means. We cannot compete in the labor market without sacrificing quality of life. We cannot compete in the service sector like we used to. Financially, we were brought to our knees and have had trouble standing again. But we're still the best, because no one thinks like we think. And we honed these skills in our public schools.

We cannot allow school funding to be cut. To do so is to allow our lawmakers to rob the future to pay for the past. This is the simplest thing you will ever be asked to do for your children and your state: Make a call. There are no speeches to write, no arguments to have, no punditry or pontification. It's simple: "Vote to cut school funding, and in the next election I will vote against you. Vote to preserve it now and forever, and you will have my support in the fall." That's it. That really is all you have to do. Leave a message with the secretary, the voice mail box, or the volunteer answering the phones.

Go here: http://www.fyi.legis.state.tx.us/

Find your rep. Make the call. Force change.

Then go here to join the cause and spread the word: http://www.causes.com/causes/576960

Thanks for reading. If you disagree, then return your high school diploma, which will in turn nullify your college diploma. Then go tell your HR rep you lied on your resume, and enjoy life in the gutter.

Cold Thoughts

2011-02-04T17:16:00.000-06:00

Day two of my bus riding adventure was postponed by an act of war. Yes, dear readers, we American's are involved in yet another war. And of course, the liberal media (a wholly owned subsidiary of News Corp) has failed to bring it to your attention. They're probably trying to hide yet another thing this awful president with a lowly 60% approval rating and a massive list of social and economic successes has allowed to happen. So allow me to inform you of the latest developments: The attack came by surprise in the middle of the night. At 4am on February 1st, 2011, Canadian weather waged war on the state of Texas, concentrating its most brutal attacks on the city of Dallas. We woke up to a catastrophic war zone. Nearly 2 inches of solid ice blanketed our fair city, crippling our non-existent defenses against such weather systems. It was an abomination. It brought our means of transportation and economic proliferation to a grinding halt. Everything closed, with the notable exception of the brave patriots at 7-11.

We do not posses salt trucks, snow plows, or even shovels with which to tend to our own driveways. We were caught helpless and unaware, with our proverbial thermal underpants down. (We don't have those either.) 13 degree temperatures ravaged our meager insulating preparations, designed to combat heat instead of cold. They must have known that our homes are designed to retain cold air, thus making their plot as ruthless as it was ingenious. The ravages of their low pressure systems brought our temperature down to degree marks that our thermometers were not built to handle.

So I got Tuesday off of work. I'm sure one day it will be declared a national holiday, but again, with the dirty liberal media outposts in this country that refuse to report on anything but what their corporate owners deem necessary, the heroes of this day may forever go unsung.

Wednesday we were called back into the office. The ice was still present, and as fresh as the horrors lodged deep within our hearts and minds. Unspeakable horrors like having to wear a sweater and a coat at the same time. I won't go into detail, but scarves were involved.

I drove to work. Bus resolution fail. I did it, and I'm not proud of it, but at least I'm honest. Barely able to forgive myself, I resumed the bus riding again on Thursday. The trip to work was lovely. DART win. The story of the trip home, however, is a story of almost unbelievable proportions.

The 463 picks me up a mere 40 feet from the front door of my building at 5:31PM sharp, Monday through Friday. Or at least it is supposed to. On this fated day it arrived after 6PM. Don't worry, driver, I love standing outside in 3 degree wind chill.

Finally, the bus arrived. Having grown up as a white male in middle class America, I expected a drury ride home full of complaints and malicious remonstrations of the mass transit system from my fellow passengers. Surely we would brood and commiserate on our unfortunate circumstances. Instead, the hypothesis posed in my last post (go here: http://politifarce.blogspot.com/2011/02/transitional-thoughts.html) was proven. I am the outsider here. The sore thumb. The stranger in a foreign land. You see, the atmosphere on the bus that cold, dark night resembled a reunion of old army buddies more than it did the reality of the situation. It was...fun. Virtually everyone was talking to everyone else. Exciting stories of the days events were shared and enjoyed. Jokes were made at no one's expense, many of which were shockingly creative and funny. And I don't mean that 'within the context of an otherwise miserable situation', it was genuine humor. As I said mere sentences ago, it was fun.

Why was I surprised? Because I was assuming instead of thinking. What happens within a crowd at the airport when a plane is late? Misery. Anger. Belligerent behavior, empty threats, promises of revenge in the form of economic sanctions against the offending airline. It's a catastrophe. And it is fully self induced. When we feel entitled to something, for whatever reason, we are much less likely to be able to cope with disappointment. We feel put out, inconvenienced, even cheated. But the less we expect others to do for us, the more likely we are to manufacture our own perspective. The more apt we are to turn inconvenience into pleasure, cold temperatures into warm smiles, a late bus into a good time.

How fitting then that the same man screaming at the airline ticketing agent for his inconvenience is very likely to be the same man who doesn't feel that he should help feed our poor, or care for our sick. For he is entitled to something better than the rest of us. It's similar to the illusion of the self-made millionaire. No one does anything alone, certainly not achieving success. Every employer, employee, lender, borrower, consumer, or maker that you worked with (or used) to get to where you are is just as much a part of what you did as you are. Without them, you would be both lonely and broke. How soon we forget, I guess the air up at the top is thin and slows brain function.

A successful society requires a delicate balance of self-reliance and collective effort, just like a good bus ride home. Yet the definitions that we work with to define both of those concepts are too narrow and restrictive. They are not opposites, rather they are dependent variables in a simple equation. An equation that contains many other variables, like memory and pride, but is simple to balance nonetheless.

If the poop hits the air conditioner, and society collapses upon itself, you won't find me huddled in the north 'burbs clinging to a gun and a sense of fear. You will find me in the 'hood', because at least they know how to have a good time when things aren't going their way.

Agree or disagree, thanks for reading, and thanks for thinking.

transitional thoughts

2011-02-01T21:11:00.000-06:00

It feels good to be back, doesn't it folks? I know there's been a delay since the last post, but you'll get over it. Trust me. I promised no filler when I started this, and I intend to keep that promise. Now dry your eyes and let's get going.

Yesterday I began a new phase in my life: I took the bus to work for the very first time. In fact, it was the first time I have ridden a bus, outside of a school field trip, ever. Needless to say, it made me think.

Now those of you who don't live in Dallas may have already stopped reading, but here in the Big D, this is kind of a big deal. I lived in Chicago for a while and I've visited the Big Apple a time or two, so I'm familiar with decent and efficient public transportation. Let's define this for you non-Dallas-residents. Decent and efficient, in regards to public transportation, means the kind that takes you from a place you may want to live to a place you may want to go in a somewhat timely manner, and also at times that may be convenient to the average Joe's routine. To provide some context, it must be noted that DART (Dallas' mass transit market monopoly holder) does none of the above.

To provide further context let me relate to you a short story. My office recently moved. We are directly up the street from Addison, a suburb of Dallas that literally has more bars and restaurants than residents. I noted while gazing from my 13th story office window that a favorite eatery of mine was in plain sight, and mentioned that we should amble there one fine spring day. The reaction was incredulous. 'Too far to walk' was the general consensus. So I leaned on our dear friends (unless you're a Chinese dissident) at Google and mapped out the trip. Three tenths of a mile. I expected the case to be closed, and a date to be set. But alas, this was still too far. It may take a whole 10 minutes. Someone really said that. Note that I do not work with the elderly or infirmed. These were all late-twenties/early thirties males. I mentioned that in no other city in the world would people consider driving such a trivially short distance. My arguments went unheard. In Dallas, we do a lot of things, but walking isn't one of them. In fact, outdoor recreation of any kind is banned without a significant investment in toys with which to do it, but that's for another day. In Dallas, we drive. Everywhere.

DART operates a train system that is sleek, new, clean, and runs straight north and south. My commute so happens to be west to east, so I take the filthy bus. It should be noted at this point that the author takes no artistic license in using the word 'filthy'. There were Funions in my seat. Funions the snack product. The one that mimics the flavor of onion rings fried in garlic oil after marinating in stoner day dreams.

But clean and dirty are not what this is about. This is about a thought on thoughts, so let us commence.

Every day on the way into my office building I see pretty much the same people. I often spend awkward quality time enjoying the wafts of their hangovers and farts in the elevator. And we acknowledge each other, often going so far as to communicate verbally. There is a familiarity hosted by routine and the easy common ground of geography and all of its wonderful accoutrement's like sports teams and weather. So one would assume that the same might be true of the bus. These people, at least a significant majority of them, must travel this same route daily at the same time. If they did not then the very spirit, as well as the economic lifeblood of mass transit would be defeated. But there are no glances. Not a single hint of recognition. If verbal communication is simply too much, then a passing glance, a nod, any kind of acknowledgement. Nothing. If they do know each other on some level, even the most basic level of circumstantial similarity, there is no sign of it. The only conclusion I can draw is that somehow they must lack any form of commonality. Even though the means of transit is the same, the reasons behind it are far too varied. From the teenager digging change out of his pockets hoping it will cover the fare to his girlfriend's place, to the woman riding the bus from the same starting place as me to the same building as me, everyone on a DART bus is there for a reason that is wholly unique to them. After all, in a city that drives, why are you on the bus?

Then it occurs to me that I have several reasons. It's emotional: I suffer from severe road rage, and the commute to work starts and ends my day on the wrong foot. It's logical: I am a crappy driver, and not driving is a win/win for me and society. It's political: I believe firmly in the spirit of mass transit, and that it is and can be functional for most. It's economical: I'm cheap, preferring to use the money most would put towards a car payment for other things that I find far more valuable, like not using credit cards. It's environmental: I'm reducing my impact on this planet significantly.

But even those reasons have commonalities - they are reasons that justify a choice. And some days I may not make the choice to ride the bus. I may drive, or bum a ride from my hetero life partner (aka: the wife). And maybe that's why I can't see the recognitions. Maybe I'm the outsider here. Maybe the lack of recognition is a retainer of anonymity. Maybe it provides a firmer illusion of security. Maybe it's some social fear, with or without good reason. Maybe it's just too early in the morning. Maybe maybe maybe and blah blah blah. I think that 'outsider' comment was closest to the truth...

As the bus makes its exit from my day, stage right, after depositing a handful of us off on the corner, I observe the final collapse of commonality as I turn and walk towards the side of the street where the suburbs begin and the city ends, and notice I am suddenly traveling alone.

Take the bus to work tomorrow, it will give you plenty of time to think.

Leaki Thoughts

2011-01-27T21:17:00.000-06:00

Welcome back one and all. It's been too long since we could sit here, have a beer, and rant, hasn't it? It has. How sad.

Well, it's back. Be happy.

Straight to the point:

Pfc. Bradley Manning is a traitor.

Julian Assange is a hero.

In response to popular demand, this will be succinct. Besides, it's an easy one.

First, Mr. Assange. If you think he's a traitor who's endangering thousands of people around the world, you're not thinking. He didn't make the secrets. He didn't lie. He didn't start wars, talk behind allies backs, he didn't cover up vital information about world governments pissing in each other's punch bowls.

He just exposed it. All of it. And bravo. Stand on the nearest chair and clap for this man. The only man among 6.2 billion with balls. Big brass ones. If we had more Julian's, we wouldn't have so many lies, cover ups, or wars. It's true. He didn't endanger US Soldiers, we did by sending them to die for oil. He didn't embarrass countless presidents, prime ministers and diplomats, they did by acting like fools because they thought no one was looking. He is a private citizen of the world, and as such the truth is his responsibility. So hooray for Julian Assange. Hooray for balls. Be grateful that someone is fighting for you.

Now, Pfc. Mr. Piece of Sh*t Traitor Bradley Manning. Lock him up. Torture him. Shoot him on the White House lawn.

But Mr. ToT's...that's awful. And it's a contradiction. How can one be a hero, and his sidekick be a villain?

It's the "Pfc." that causes problems. Private. First. Class. Property of the United States Government. He signed away his life, then he used his power to stab his employer in the back.

Mr. Assange received information, and passed it along to all interested parties without prejudice or passion.

Pfc. Manning stole. He lied. He cheated. He turned his back on his country. He violated the Uniform Code of Military Justice. He is a traitor. A common criminal. Those who cry for him cry for nothing. We can't afford that in our military. We cannot afford for them to break that code. Once we accept that, we will fall to their control, instead of guiding what they do.

Mr. Assange was bound by no such code.

Think for yourself. Agree or disagree, I hope you enjoyed the shorter format.

Parental Thoughts

2011-01-21T16:28:00.003-06:00

Relax. It doesn't say "prenatal", it says "parental". Yes, I, your fearless writer, am jumping into the abyss that is the "Tiger Mother" backlash. If you're not up to speed, you can read about it...anywhere. Popping "Tiger Mother" into just about any search engine will get you 1 to 1500 articles and blog posts about Amy Chua. And look at me, adding to the melee. Shame shame shame.

I don't have to much to say about it, but you can bet your buttons I have something to say about it. Generally, I believe that overparenting is far less distasteful and dangerous than underparenting. I see so much underparenting that I must admit that I can feel myself happily and heartily excusing overparenting when I witness it.

Let's take a quick sidebar to define these terms so we're all on the same page:
Overparent (verb): the act of doing more than you should as a parent, be it enforcing unneccesary behaviors on your child or elliciting unnatural actions and/or reactions from your child.
Underparent (verb): the act of failing to provide basic protection, nutrition, education, appropriate behavioral guidance, and emotional care to your child.

Basically, one is doing too much, the other is doing too little. Is that a fine enough line for you? Well they're the buckets that American culture has given us with which to define all parenting. Welcome to a happy-medium-free culture

This lady, Amy Chua, she walked into a bear trap. Or I guess a tiger trap. You see, there's very little that parents enjoy more than criticizing other parents, and this lady painted a toddler leash-shaped target on her back. She even did it at just such an angle so that everyone can take shots. Oops.

I'll refrain. If you think she's evil, you know she'll get what she has coming. If you think she's a genius just saying what needed to be said, she can be your martyr. Either way, think it over, think it through, and reach your own conclusion. I'm here to make an entirely different point.

One day I'll come back to discuss this further, but let's see how my kid grows up first. We live in a world of too many experts. Or as my kindergarden teacher so wisely said: "Too many chieftans and not enough little indians just doing their jobs."  Shockingly racists, I'm sure, but what a perfect statement on personal responsibility.

Moving on. So many people want their child to be the best. They want them to play on the stage at Juliard, to edit the Harvard Law Review, to be Class President at Yale, to run a Fortune 10. On and on the list goes.

I see a problem here. Well, several problems really, but I can boil it down to one main concern. Eventually. First, we're all aware that not everyone wants to be these people. We all want the best for our lives, but for everyone that 'best' is different. And we didn't decide it at age 2. Also, we're all somewhat aware that these people come from a wide variety of backgrounds. The CEO of Kelloggs was a truck driver for them first. Carl Sagan's parents didn't force him to do homework 6 hours a night. B.B. King was raised in crushing poverty, harldy ever going to school, much less Juliard, yet he played at Carnegie Hall, sold out ampitheaters, and for Presidents and Royalty.

If the fact that raising your child under such extreme conditions yields no promise of getting what you want from them isn't enough to disuade you from overparenting, then consider this. If someone learns to work so hard they can get whatever they want, is there any gaurantee that they will be qualified for what they get?
Wait, that sounds like a contradiction. It's not. Hard work can make you a rockstar on paper, or on a farm. But if you don't love it, and it doesn't love you, the consequences can be catostrophic. The level of catostrophy is directly proportional to the amount of power the job has. Think: "W".

Convinced? Let's get you there. Yale Grad, rich and powerful daddy, he was even a direct descendent of a President!  Yet he failed at every thing he did every moment of every day for 8 years. A lust for power, coupled with the drive to get a job he was grotesquely underqualified for, had rancid consequences for millions of people. Strategery.

So how likely is it that the person who missed every party, every potential friendship and love interest, every dance, every football game, every kegger, so that they could be your boss one day, is actually qualified to be your boss?

Are they really smarter and more qualified, or are they just a workaholic? To be completely contrarian, isn't the mere fact that they had to work harder a sort of alarm bell? Too much? Ok, I'll back it up.  How about this: In a world of information technology, which is what this world is becoming, can we afford to let imposters get ahead? People that are going to make it are...going to make it. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a world leader that would say "I would have drank myself to death in a gutter if it wasn't for such a harsh and unforgiving upbringing. Thank god my mommy emotionally abused me and denied my happiness. It turned me into the CEO of [insert name here] that I am today..." Or even worse, sub the words "been happy" for "drank myself to death in a gutter" and make the second sentence drip with sarcasm. What's more believable?

Overparenting is an overreaction to the fear of being an underparent. But if you have that fear, you're not an underparent. Underparents have no idea such a thing exists, and would never even consider that they might be underparenting. Or at least they would never do anything about it, even if they did consider it.

We must ask: "If our kid isn't actually smarter, faster, or more musically inclined, are we doing anyone a service by pushing them to become an expert in that area?" Can we afford engineers that lack creativity? Can we afford world leaders that lack social skills? CEO's that don't actually get the 'why' behind their business? Can we tolerate anymore Mickey Mouse Club House musicians?

I say no. The guaranteed cost seems to greatly outweigh the alleged benefit. We'd be better off letting the cream rise to the top naturally rather than telling the coffee it can be cream one day if it just tries harder.

Moreover, for possibly the first time in human history, many kids in the developed western world can actually be kids. Plain and simple. Just...kids. No death by measels or polio. No walking to school 10 miles each way in the snow. No factory labor at age 6. Just opportunity, love, learning, and fun. If they are among these lucky few, who are we to stop them? Who are we to take that away?

Well, well, well, I think I just found a place where overparenting and underparenting become the same thing...

Thanks for reading. Agree or disagree, I hope you thought.

Pre Thoughts

2011-01-20T16:45:00.000-06:00

Welcome, one and all, to the pondering pagoda. Mr. ToT's is putting on a new hat today...

Today, faithful readers, I'm going to dabble in the 'critic' business, but with my own little spin. How does one 'spin' being a critic? The cushiest, most b.s. job on the planet. How does one make this self-proclaimed "profession" less relevant than it already is? Like this:

I haven't yet seen the movie I'm going to review, but I'm confident that I don't really need to. Seems like it would be a waste of time in this case.

Oh yeah, and before I forget...****spoiler alert****

Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman star in "No Strings Attached", release date...go look it up somewhere else. Just wait till your done reading, please. This movie is about booty calls. Regular booty calls, between the same two people. Kinda like When Harry Met Sally, except crappy, predictable, and with sex.

This promises to be yet another hack dramedy about modern relationships, pawned off by creatively editted previews as "original", "quirky", "insightful", and whatever other bilge phrases they decide to attach. There's another thing you can guarantee, the descriptors on the poster won't be original. They'll probably be copy/pasted from the Knocked Up movie poster.

Before I tear this movie apart, let me address the one reason that several people I know may consider seeing this. No, it's not a lack of better things to do. Drinking epicac and vomitting to death may fall under the category of 'Better things to do'. What may lure countless unsuspecting males into theaters to sacrifice $10 of their money on this disgrace to cinema is simple - it's the promise of Natalie Portman side boob. Possibly even nudity. Enticing? Mayhap, depending on your taste, but don't let it fool you, this movie will suck. Also, considering the prude attitude of the MPAA, you're far more likely to see a shot of man ass than side boob, much less whole boob. Another guarantee of failure.

That was the spoiler, by the way. This movie will be fail incarnate. I give it 5 laughs, 2 of which will be awkward.

For his part, Ashton Kutcher will do what he does best: "Michael" from That 70's Show. Maybe he'll mix in a little Dude Where's My Car, but what can we really expect from the guy that reprised candid camera, and substituted his famous friends for non-famous people? It was a step down. If you make millions of dollars doing movies and you have the nerve to take yourself seriously, die. Picking on innocent people at the dry cleaners, thats comedy.

Natalie Portman will do what she does best: That vaguely aloof, detached girl who seems to process things on such a deep internal level that you wonder how she ever got a career acting. One can easily mistake any of her on screen emotions for constipation, confusion, or a combination of the two. We all knew that girl at one point in our lives. We called her shallow. Or cold. Or "hey, what's your name again?". Hollywood likes to glorify that type lately. Like the chick from those vampire films. She's neither attractive nor talented. As a good friend of mine once said "Have we run out of thin, pretty people???".

Another reason to ditch this film in favor of a cheap cigar or 6 pack of PBR, is that you can get what you want for a better price, oh ye seekers of side boob. If you want Natalie Portman T&A without having to suffer through another romantic comedy that will surely try to shove some vague moral lesson down your throat while it rides the vortex of flushing toilet water into a predictable ending, here are some suggestions:

Black Swan - apparently she gets it on. With herself. Awesome. MSNBC called it "self sex" in their review. Let's call it what it is: flipping the bean. That's right...masturbation.
The Darjeeling Limited - there is a short film affixed to the beginning of this really awesome flick. In it, you get to see her naked from behind. She's not my type, but it's a nice rear. And the movie is funny too. Unlike No Strings Attached, which will suck. I promise.

So if you do one thing this weekend, avoid this film.

Thanks for reading!

foreign thoughts

2011-01-19T17:28:00.000-06:00

Today I opened the paper, and what did I see
But the most powerful man in the world looking at me
Smile he did not as he stood and he talked
Then a quick bow and with a shuffle he walked.
Standing next to him the entire time
Was a man who has continuously walked the line
A man who desires this world to be great and free
This man is the President of my country.

Last time that these two met, things were different then
The US was still the leader of men
Leader of the world, in fact, yes they were
"Well what happened?" you say, quite unsure
And I say "what an excellent question you have found,
Upon this very topic I now will expound..."

You see it all starts after the second world war
When no one was left to compete anymore
We had all the money, the jobs, and the food
But no one thought us terribly rude
For we were riding the highest horse
Free from any regret or remorse
We, the Knights in shining armor
That bailed out the world in the wake of a horror

While other countries dug themselves from a jam
We dined on fat turkeys and plump christmas ham
The age of American dominance had begun
As we set out to destroy ourselves, just for fun
But it was not with malice that we set out for such things
For whom the bell tolls, you don't know till it rings

While other countries wasted all their resources
And gave up their remaining powerful forces
For something as silly as healthcare for all
(well in one case, they did stupid stuff with a wall)
We set out to be on our own, to be rich, to be free
Free of me having to care for you, or you for me
And we grew, yes we did, in both power and wealth
While hiding the 95% of us that weren't with great stealth

And one day our greatest child was born
A child that excelled beyond all the norm
This child would take us above all the rest
And ensure that never would we suffer a pest
But no, reader, this child was not our military
It was the s-type corporation, a.k.a. the LLC

It was not in the office of a goodly doctor
Or even a nursemaid or an MD's proctor
This child was born in the courts of the land
And the wealthy and powerful gave him a hand
And with their support he grew and he grew
Until he rolled over both me and you
ANd to our credit the better among us have tried
To dismantle this beast, till their families cried

But most of us, I'm sad to say,
helped corporations make it this way
We watched as it ravaged our seas and our fields
They used up or labor to increase their yields
They drained out our life after filling it with trouble
But then they discovered the path to a bubble

You see just as people started to considering revolt
And started to expect their fair share of the bolt
Some men in those courts came up with a plan
To keep their baby out of those hands
"The hands will be happy if they have something to to"
Said Court Number 1 to Court Number Two
"But if we are to give them something to do,
We'll have to pay them more money and give them time off too"
"And if you give them time off they'll expect somewhere to go
Time off sitting in a hovel is nothing good to know"

So now the men had a solution
But too puritanical to legalize prostitution
They invented something far more onerous
Debt for profit, or 'now you can own us'
"Well give them a job with a little more pay
And something to look forward too, a vacation day"

"What a grand idea" said Court #2, "but what
else would they now expect us to do?
For you see, we cannot really pay them enough to be free
For if we did they may realize we are unneccessary"
"Good point, good point," said Court # One
Something brilliant and drastic must be done"
Just then a new friend arrived on the scene
A Banker, with a new concept: A lien

Well to be fair, it wasn't entirely new
Debt has long been used enslave me and you
From ancient practice of serfdom, to share cropping, Amex
They are so enticing and yet they vex
Another way to have what you never knew that you want
Without having to do without that which you don't

Thus was born the credit card, a "way to make cash
Without having to dip from your personal stash
Wages don't have to go up when you loan
And the dreams you built you just crush if they groan"
Said the new friend, the Banker, who was in for the ride
The wedding of the century, and he was the bride
"We'll encourage them to buy, call it the 'American Dream'
We'll convince them that they need it to prove they're the cream"

"Eureka" said Court #2, "there's another idea
We now can give them all something to fear
If you're rich then you're right, and better than the rest
If your not life will suck, you'll be miserably depressed."
"What a plan" said the banker, "Let's start right now"
"When you can get the milk free, why buy the cow?"

And all across this brazen land
Houses were erected by human hand
And bought with money that no one had
To trap them in jobs that didn't make them glad
The system lived only to serve itself, filled with hate
Until the piper came calling, in December of 2008

Meanwhile the people that sat out that war
Every day increased their valuable store
They served those wants until the wants became needs
Then they upped the price to do those deeds
But by then we were trapped, ensnared by our desire
To be a rich, powerful, and lonely empire.

Happy Thoughts

2011-01-18T09:54:00.000-06:00

If you ever find yourself with an excess of faith in humanity, or too much hope for our collective present and future, I invite you to relieve yourself of that burden in the following manner:

1) Visit the following site:
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2011-01-18/

2) Read the comments section directly below each script.

3) Repeat until sufficiently relieved excess optimism.

4) Weep for humanity.

More later? Mayhap. I'll do my best. Thanks for stopping by.

Smart Thoughts

2011-01-17T15:50:00.000-06:00

I've already explained why we have little to fear, at least from ourselves, in the future. Even I was surprised by how optimistic that post was. Go me. No...wait...go us. That's right, humanity, share in the glory. I can't take it all. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back. It's ok, no one's looking. How do I know? If they were, they already would have fired you for reading my blog on the clock. Or me for writing on the clock.

Anyway, post-posting, I found myself in a state of rare optimism, when lo and behold someone had to rain on my parade. It seems some rascally nay-sayers have taken it upon themselves to contend with my theory of "Eh...chill out...it'll be ok". It seems these Philistines don't share in my glass-half-full-of-really-awesome-beer outlook concerning the fate of the human race. Bastards. Why do you have to piss in the punch? "Happy" isn't good enough for you? Reject blissful ignorance? Well I say that's your problem. Yes, you. Yes. You. Well who else would I be talking to, Mr. Stephen Hawking???

That's right, four eyes, I'm calling you out. See it turns out some people have my back. They're not afraid to stand up to you and your elitist science friends. Besides, they only like you cause you let them ride on the back of your chair down steep hills.

A few of them, my real friends, that is, let me know about your dirty little tricks. Yeah, that's right, I'm on to you. We're gonna has this out right here and now, Darth Physicist.

Readers, let me fill you in on what I learned this week. It seems Dr. Hawking here has been using his space magic to go back in time just to throw a wrench in my blog. Why? He went to the future, realized nerds will never 'get the girl', and saw how ridiculously famous and influential I will become. So he wrote yet another book that people will buy and put on their side table to show off to friends, but will never actually read. Then he went back to 2010 and had it published. Then he went back to 2009 and did some interviews about it. Sneaky little pencil jockey.

So he puts out this book with one purpose and one purpose only. To make me look bad. See the premise of this book is...well, far too boring to actually read. But somewhere in this book he used that dark matter magic to 'prove' that if there are aliens out there, and there are, they are most likely hostile. And we should fear them. His proof? His great case study? His alleged "facts"???? Human behavior. If we love raping, brutalizing, and pillaging so much, why shouldn't aliens? If we try to colonize and enslave every strange culture we meet, why shouldn't they?

Sh*t.

But what about...oh, wait, never mind. Bet then there's...oh...that's no good either. OOOOOOOOO...but what about hope, peace, the sharing of culture, and the Carl Sagan-esque utopia that awaits us beyond the stars!?!?!?!?!

Columbus, Cortez, Ivan the Terrible, Genghis Khan, Pizarro, Balboa, Magellan, pretty much every white person in North America from 1350-1890, pretty much everyone in Africa since the dawn of time, China (the country), and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on...and on.

And on.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, he paid off some if his pipe smoking friends in the academic elite to publish a whole crap ton of other papers and scientific gobbledygook stating that we should get our first glimpse of alien life...this year. 2011. It may be all clicks and beeps at this point, but still...crap.

Not only that, but when we do get the messages, we're looking at many decades to decode them into characters that we will still most likely be unable to decipher or combine into meaningful information of any kind. We're looking at millenia before we could open a true dialogue, and that's assuming they don't Death Star our planet in the meantime.

I guess you win this round, Hawking. I must admit it's no surprise you're so petty that you're willing to take humanity down just to make me look bad. You even engineered the situation to make sure I was still right, but that my argument no longer mattered. Well played, sir. Well played.

Agree or disagree, I hope you think Hawking's a d-bag now too. Thanks for reading.

Drug Induced Thoughts

2011-01-14T12:13:00.000-06:00

Hello again, everyone. Welcome to a new day, and a new thought!

Well, that may not be totally honest. You see today is actually an old thought, but a continuing problem. It's what's currently on my mind, and the emotions it stirred in me made me realize that I never really resolved my own internal conflict on this topic. Then I realized that if it's still happening, no one has resolved the conflict. And that's just unacceptable.

Let me explain.  Yet again, a pharmacist has refused medicine prescribed by a doctor, based on alleged moral grounds, to someone that needed it in order to decrease the possibility of death. You can read a slightly longer synopsis here:
http://richarddawkins.net/articles/578303-pharmacists-refusing-to-fill-prescriptions-for-potentially
Basically, the pharmacist didn't want to save the lady if she was bleeding from an abortion. Privacy laws being what they are, the referring entity could not disclose such details. Hence the conflict.

The first I remember hearing of this issue was back in what the old folks might refer to as "ot 4". Some 'heartland' pharmacists got their moral superiority panties bunched up in a wad and started refusing to fill prescriptions for birth control and the "morning after pill". It seems these fools (I picked a really bad day to stop swearing in my posts) may have been suffering from the same delusions as the aforementioned pharmacist. You can read all about it here http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-11-08-druggists-pill_x.htm, or you can stay on my page, where it's nice and warm.

And I have a problem with this? You can bet your sweet patooties I do.

Medical professionals are sworn to protect and sustain life. The good ones take the jobs for that exact reason. So is it a contradiction to expect them to dispense life-ending drugs such as birth control or the infamous "morning after pill"? No. Not one bit. You want to hear why, don't you? Of course you do. Why else would you be here?  Then without further adieu...allow me to present to you...for your reading pleasure...logic!

We know the following to be true (explanations to follow for the slow kids):
1) Life is not the most important thing.
2) When we hire someone to do a job we expect them to do it.
3) Sometimes discrimination is necessary.
4) You'll be hard-pressed to find two people sitting in the same pew at the same church that define morality the same way.
Now let's discuss:

1) Life is not the most important thing. If it is then all those soldiers we send to die for our freedoms are just useless casualties. Unless you own stock in a body bag and/or oil company. I've always thought it funny that the demographic that is most supportive of war is the least supportive of a woman's right to choose. That would make an excellent Venn Diagram. If you're seeing the contradiction here, congrats. You're thinking. Why will we send our mostly grown kids to die in order to improve someone elses quality of life, but we don't think it's okay to stop a birth for the same reason? That may sound awfully crass, but any distinction you try to draw there is cognitive dissonance.  Own it. Your brain may try to draw lines between choice and personal responsibility, but if that's the case then all the people overseas that we are fighting "for", had their own choices, and their own responsibility to take care of themselves. You also assume that just because the Army is voluntary, everyone in it is there by choice. This is simply not true. See, that's a big problem. We fail, far too often, to think through even the most basic of our beliefs. If you're pro-life, then you can't be pro-war. If you're pro-quality of life, but thought before reading this that you were pro-life, then it's time to rethink how you perceive the world around you, and why. Then you may realize that you can disapprove of a woman's right to choose and support our troops without having to strip personal freedoms or bomb Iran. Philosophy is full of happy mediums, but if you don't think them through they can become hypocrisies.

2) If I hire a contractor to do a job, and he screws it up, I can take him to court for damages. If Macy's sells me a crappy sweater, I can take it back. But if I'm in a medical emergency, and am refused treatment, I'm dead. Sue all you want, there are no second chances. So shouldn't we, as a society, try to limit medical error?  Of course. "But Mr. ToT's", you say, "we can't make people do what they think is wrong." Horse puckey. Yes we can. I know so because we do it all the time. What a great segway to #3...

3) Have you read my post on discrimination? No? Then go do that now, we'll wait. It's the one titled "Equal Thoughts".
All done? Great. Let's get back to the discussion at hand. Every day, in every city, small town, and village across this planet, people do things they find unpleasant, distasteful, and even morally reprehensible in order to provide food for their families and themselves. I bet even people on other planets have to do things they don't want to do. It seems like that would be universal. But why? That seems so unfair. Not true! False positive! Not only is it fair, it is the essence of fair. We live in a society. Many people and machines working together to do the best we can by and for everyone else, as well as ourselves. Sometimes, that means we do what we must, rather than what we want. The more we evolve, and step away from being a survival-based race, the less we have to do that. Maybe it's why we pick these stupid little fights - boredom. Or maybe we just need to modify the Hippocratic Oath in light of what we now know. We need our medical professionals to protect the quality of life first and foremost, since we now know that life is not the most important thing.

4) Every doctor in this country goes through pretty much the same training, taking pretty much the same tests and reading pretty much the same books. So why do some doctors abort babies, while others refuse? Because morality is subject to our experiences and how we digested and rationalized them. I believe that most atheists assume religious people, both the 'cafeteria' and devout types, are just not thinkers. However, that's not necessarily true. In fact, it doesn't seem to be true at all. Except the Baptists. Baptists are definitely short bus. But Methodists, Catholics, Episcopalians, Lutherans, etc, share a pretty shocking statistic: They are just as educated, if not more so, then the population as a whole. In fact, the "more so" is more common than the "just as". Studies have tried for years to pin down what professions have the least/most 'believers'. It was only when the data was drilled into last year that the conclusion was made (conclusively) that upbringing and socioeconomic status had more to do with religious devotion than education. Religious groups may profess to believe a lot of common things, but overall, in those day to day situations, morality is unique to the user. And people that hold positions of service that grant them power over life and death must approach those positions free of prejudice. If we expect it of lawyers and judges, why the hell don't we expect it of doctors, nurses, and pharmacists?

The medical field in this country has no shortage of job openings. If you wish to serve, but can't bear to prescribe some of the pills you will be asked to provide, then just do something else. Become a radiologist, or an anesthesiologist, or a nurse, or a billing coder. You can go to night school for that last one!

Still not smart enough to agree with me? (Yeah, I said it, and yes, I'm always that arrogant.) Then here's another, more...sensitive...way to look at it: If you are too righteous to dole out birth control, but you can rationalize prescribing a pill to give an erection, stop pain, or alter consciousness, then it seems to me you are already violating the will of your god. If it doesn't work, didn't god will it so? If it hurts, didn't god allow it to break? In the same way he seems to have charged you, Mr. Pharmacist, with dispensing his will, he has acted out his will upon those you pretend to want to treat. There goes that cognitive dissonance again. If you want to enforce your morality or beliefs on others, the LAST place you belong is in a pharmacy, or even in a lab coat for that matter. You may say that stopping a birth is a worse evil than those other things, but you're lying to yourself. Something else is going on here. Furthermore, it smacks of that 'cafeteria christianity', which brings your alleged devotion into serious question.

Pharmacists take a job that requires them to fill prescriptions at the order of a doctor. If you can't do that, for any reason, than you must conscientiously object, and step down from your position. There is no happy medium available to you. Then go home and consider a life in the clergy, another medical profession, the police force, or (god forbid, but it is your right) your state, local, or national legislature.
Whatever you choose, you must get out of the pharmacy. I promise you that the god you describe will not forgive you for killing a woman by refusing her medication.

That wraps it up for today, readers. Agree or disagree, you definitely thought. If you didn't then go back and read it again because you missed something. Thanks again, and please remember comments are encouraged!

Oh, and if you think this is no big deal, you're wrong. On March 3, 2009 the Idaho State Senate passed a law making it a-okay for pharmacist to refuse medicine based on religious or philosophical beliefs. Next they'll tell cops it's okay to enforce some laws, but not others, based on their personal beliefs.

Spoken Thoughts

2011-01-12T17:23:00.000-06:00

Welcome back, let's skip the foreplay and get to the point.
The greatest threat to our way of life in the wake of this political assassination attempt in Arizona is not the perceived threat to the Second Amendment. The Second Amendment isn't going anywhere. Get used to it, hippies, guns are here to stay. Like it or not. It is for countless reasons that I neither fear nor celebrate the attack on this American freedom, considered sacrosanct by some and archaic by others. But the main reason I don't take a distinct side on it is because it doesn't matter. Reform the policy but preserve the liberty. Right...like that's ever gonna happen. Anyway, we face a far greater threat that demands my immediate ranting...err...I mean attention. My immediate attention.

We have a passionate political discourse in this country. We always have. We have nuts from both the right and left inciting hate speech and extremism. We have a culture of violence. Notice the syntax. Not specifically 'political' violence, just violence. Violence of all kinds. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that we are virtually alone in our love of "torture porn" movies like Saw and Hostel. I think it's a little to real to the rest of the world. But for us, it's entertainment. We like to watch things die. Slowly. And often.

We step into dangerous territory when we confuse this simple verbage. It's easy to say we're politcally violent. It may even be slightly accurate, but it's far too shortsighted. That's like saying Africa has a small AIDs problem. All but one word in the sentence is completely accurate: small. Let's apply that same logic to the following sentence: America is politically violent. All but one word is completely accurate. Guess which one? Exactly! So let's call a spade a spade, not a 'darkish, pointy, round thing that's vertically challenged'. Let us strive for accuracy in our syntax. Especially when discussing such delicate issues.

Faulty or innacurate syntax can be dangerous. That childhood rhyme "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" - that's total crap. Toss that one in the Santa Claus-Toothfaily-and-other-lies-we-tell-our-children pile.

Words can hurt a lot when those words pose a danger to our ability to use whatever words we choose. Seems like a contradiction, and it may be, but so may be slander lawsuits and gag orders in a country with free speech. We'll save that one for another day.

We have enough contradictions that already embattle and restrict our First Amendment, and the more we push to limit the political hate speech and rhetoric that some people falsely see as responsible for the attempted murder of a genuine public servant, the less freedom we will have when this debate subsides and this day is long forgotten.

I've never before understood how people make the parallel between liberalism and facism. The past few days have brought me amazing clarity on how volatile the line between protection and restriction is. Enforcing limitations upon political discourse will protect no one. Instead it will harm everyone in ways we cannot see when we are blinded by reaction.

I don't like Glenn Beck. Or Sean Hannity. Or Rush Limbaugh, or Bill O'Reilly, or...what? wait, that can't be. Surely you jest. Chris Matthews? Really? Yes, him too. Or anyone else that tries to present their opinion as if it's news. Except maybe people who are funny about it, like Jon Stewart. Everyone else can shut the hell up until they have facts to report. Fox news can't seem to tell the difference, so they are invited to shut the hell up forever.

As much as I'd like these people to be removed from the public discourse, along with a looooooong list of others, even assholes and morons have the right to speak freely to anyone willing to listen. They have that right because we live in the US of A, and if you take away free speech will just be a big shithole of a country that can't educate it's kids or pay it's bills. Yes, the line is that thin these days.

So I encourage you to make this change, America. This one little change. Hell, you can even replace one of you many already-defunct New Year's Resolutions with this easy-to-attain goal:

If you don't like it, don't participate in it, listen to it, or watch it.

Make that decision anywhere that you can. We can't always choose what our tax dollars do, but we sure as hell can decide what our radio's, televisions, and expendable dollars do. Stop yelling at the TV, and stop letting the TV yell at you. Change the fucking channel. Just don't you dare tell anyone they can't talk. Free Speech is the one thing that makes me say about America that line that the wealthy and white have been using for oh so long: "Love it, or leave it". It is not subject to change, nor should it be.

Thanks again for reading, or if it's your first time then what took you so long? Agree or disagree, turn off the TV and think.

Explosive Thoughts

2011-01-11T15:02:00.000-06:00

Guns! Scared yet? No?

Guns and Killin'!!!!!!!!!! Still not scared?

OK, so maybe not scared, but uncomfortable?  Definitely. Why? Because when it comes to guns, no one wants to be disagreed with. Why else would so much money be spent on trying to sway public opinion in either direction?

So why guns??? You, Mr. ToTs are a self-proclaimed gun-totting liberal (aka, a 'Southern Democrat'). What gives?

Well that's an excellent question. As a living, thinking person, my mind is subject to change. And from time to time, thoughts are known to occur within the walls of my skull that cause me to consider changing. These thoughts don't always force change, but they do inspire the possibility. So what happened this time?

On Saturday, the attempted assassination of a congresswoman in Tucson, AZ, left a 9 year old girl, as well as 5 others, dead. We went a whole 30 years without a political assassination attempt. That just may be a record for us 'free' and 'brave' peoples. Thus begins the great internal debate on:

The Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands...oh...shit...sorry...i got carried away...

Throughout the great debate that has since overtaken nearly every television and radio broadcast, as well as news and social networking sites, I began to question points that were being made on both sides. When so many people are talking so loudly, a lot of it is guaranteed to be bullshit. We'll look at a little of that, and maybe even create some of our own.

It took about 14 seconds following the news break about this little girl for anti-gun nuts to start the same tired-ass debate about guns, what they do to our society, and the price we pay for having them so easily and readily available. Then within .14 seconds, the pro-gun nuts retorted back with even less comprehensible gibberish. My personal favorite bit of regurgitation was this: "If other people in the crowd had had guns, those people wouldn't be dead."

Why am I picking (almost exclusively) on this poorly constructed bit of bullshit, when there are so many other flawed arguments flying back and forth? The same reason pro-gun nuts like to sit up in trees and wait for big ass deer to stroll by: it's an easy target.

You see, AZ is an open-carry state. What's that mean? That means you can walk around with a visible, loaded firearm in your possession in broad daylight, granted you have the appropriate license. And since there are more guns than adults in the US of A, and AZ has an unusually high concentration of said guns, statistically speaking someone in that crowd did have a gun. Unfortunately, it was an assassin. But someone else, most likely, had one. And did nothing. Or at least, didn't do something fast enough.

So, are you saying that we are a nation of cowards, Mr. ToTs? No, no, no, you're missing the point. In fact, I think everyone is missing the point. Let's discuss...

Numbers don't lie. We are a war-like people. Always have been. We even built protections for our pugilistic nature into our constitution. And we need that Second Amendment, right? We have to protect ourselves from our government! So no matter what, we keep our guns! Right? Right???? Well...probably. But are we keeping them for the wrong reasons?

Here I go again, bein' a thinker... We have this Second Amendment to protect us from our government. Check. But how successful has it been? A theory that can't be tested and proven or disproved is called an assumption.

Bush 2 left office with a 28% approval rating. He peaked on his 9th month in office, and went straight down from there. Obama's has been on a plane-landing-esque descent since...pretty much day 2. It bobbles up for just the briefest of moments, then sinks without warning like the fish took the bait. The 111th Congress officially adjourned with an approval rating of...wait...that can't be right? No way. 13%???? Only 13% of people said that have done "Excellent" or even "Good"???? That's awful.  This congress's AVERAGE approval rating was 25%. And as we discussed in my first post, that's what statistician types would refer to as a 'dismal failure'.

But do they deserve the rep? Or is it just another symptom of America's love for hyperbole and extremism? Let's dig deeper, shall we? Whichever side of the aisle you sit on, you cannot in good conscience dispute the following (how you feel about them will vary, but they are truth):

-Our lands, water, even airwaves, are bought and sold without our consent, and generate no profit for us.
-Wall Street was bailed out at the expense of Main Street.  (For better or worse, it happened.)
-Oil companies defile our lands, violate our laws, and endanger our people, while literally getting paid by our government to do it. They then resell the product, which technically belongs to us, back to us. For billions of dollars. Really? Yes, really.
-We pay farmers not to grow food while our own people go hungry.
-45-60 Million people go without basic medical care while insurance companies write the laws that govern them, and post record profits along with record rate hikes nearly every year.
-Our food supply has become a system that fits the needs of big agribusiness, not the grower, grocer, or the consumer. At best it is considered inefficient. At worst it is considered a self-serving waste disposal system.
-The Patriot Act stripped us of basic civil liberties, most of which have still not been given back (again, you may think this is fine, I don't care about that. I'm dealing in facts right now)
-Economic stratification is at extremely high levels. Some say ever, other say since the Great Depression.
-The majority of the country has been unhappy with the majority of the government for the majority of the past 11 years. Its been even longer than that since there was true consensus of any kind.
-Our economy sucks, and every time a little hope pops up another major city, state, or soveriegn nation goes bankrupt.
-Our military has become the enforcement wing for a foreign policy that the vast majority of the country, and the world, disapproves of.

Again, again, again, again...stop the arguing inside your head, reader. Now is not the time for that. Not one opinion appeared on that list. You may say "of course they sell us oil for profit. Business without profit is socialism, which is the devil's whore...and..." Then I may interrupt you and say, "I don't give a damn. I'm just stating facts." Your opinion is yours, but the truth belongs to everyone.

So...our country's in the pooper socially, economically, and politically. We allow ourselves to be exploited constantly by corporations that we work for. We're falling behind (and fast) as a global power on the fronts of education and industry. Our jobs move overseas while 10% remain in a near-permanent state of unemployment. Our debt is owned by ideological enemies. Our gluttony is financed by those who have an interest in weakening us. And pretty much everyone agrees (although for different reasons) that our government is to blame. If you believe any news program you have watched on any channel since Bush 2's inauguration, you know that our government is destroying our country.

And our kids are dying at the hands of the instrument that was allegedly meant to prevent all that.

Funny how that works. That is, it would be if "funny" meant 'my stomach just turned'.

Now here's the legal disclaimer: I'm not advocating violence or anarchy. I'm not advocating assassination or extremism of any kind. I'm not advocating a repeal of the Second Amendment.

I'm advocating thought. When it comes to guns, like so many other things in our lives, do we get what we pay for?   I don't mean that in the typical benefit to cost ratio schema that the anti-gun nuts love to flip chart. See, they are answering the wrong question. We don't outlaw liquor or cars when the combination of the two may have fatal consequences. I think there is a place for guns in civil society, but as we discuss that position moving forward, let's clear the air of all the bullshit. Also consider, as we define the direction we take following this tragedy, sound advice for a happy marriage may also stand as sound advice for a civil society: Never make big decisions while upset.

Thanks for reading. Agree or disagree, I hope you thought.

Equal Thoughts

2011-01-08T13:01:00.000-06:00

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia recently stated in an interview something to the effect that the US Constitution does not protect women from discrimination. That's not a direct quote, but that's the jist of what was said. If you don't believe me, look it up.

This sent an uproar through the media, the government, and many of my friends. I am fortunate to be surrounded by mostly well-educated and/or highly intelligent women. And having been raised by a working mother, female equality as a concept is ingrained in my belief system, so much so that it bleeds through my automated behaviors and thoughts. I've never known it any other way.

So imagine my shock when I realized that this guy is...right. Wait...really? Yes, as a matter of fact, he is. He may be crazy, irrational, and a little scary, but I can't add the above quote-summary to my already too-long-list of reasons to believe such.

Exploring the "why" behind this realization began the internal debate on the great contradiction that is equality.

Let's start (and end) at the Preamble to what is possibly the most eloquent summation of the human condition, and the very nature of freedom, that has ever existed. A document that forever changed the world and the course of human events: The Declaration of Independence. I'm not a lawyer, so I'll keep this short(ish). I only want to discuss one line. The second sentence, to be exact. This one, right here, yeah...that one...the one in quotation marks: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

That's heavy. Jefferson was good at heavy. He was also good to his slaves.

Now calm down. Wait just a darn-tooting minute and let me explain. I'm not going to attack Jefferson. I see no call for that. Difficult times, difficult culture, difficult situation, and on and on and on. And on. We've heard it all before. Just for the record, I'm damn glad he existed. Now let's go back to exploring that sentence.

All I want to point out is that sentence - #2 in the D of I - the one up there in quotes...see it? Yeah, that one. It's not true. Yes. I'm serious. It is. Is too. Is too. Is too times 10. Not only do I believe it's a lie, I can prove my heretical claim. With one word. One word is all I need. Ready? Here it comes...

Glasses.

What? Really? Glasses? That's your big proof, Mr. Thoughts on Thoughts?
Yes. Yes it is. I wear glasses. Have since the age of 9. I was not created equal to a person my same age, race, and gender who has 20/20 vision. Now that little voice in your head, the one that's trying to codify this...tell it to shut up for just one second. I may be smarter than that perfect-eyed bastard. Maybe I grew up in a more loving home. Maybe I'm faster, or thinner, or funnier. That's what that little voice in your head said, right? Those traits where I may be superior, they make me equal, right?
Wrong. Think it over. That concept is flawed. Why? Because at the core of the word, what smarter people would call the 'denotation', equal means 'the same'. Feel free to fact check me: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/equal .

Mr. I-can-read-that-street-sign-over-there and I are not, by definition, equal. And I get to carry around a visible handicap everywhere I go, just to prove it. What handicap is that, you may ask? Glasses. Remember? Where have you been this whole time? You see, reader, everyone that meets me, everyone that passes me in the street, everyone that sees me knows that I am not equal. Without these crutches, I mean...glasses, I couldn't get a job, operate a motor vehicle, I couldn't have been successful in school as a child!

Therefore, I am not equal. Therefore a vagina and a penis are not equal. They are not equal because they are not the same. They may be equal on some philosophical level, but out here, in the real world, they are not. One is no better than the other (though preference does depend on sexual orientation), but that doesn't make them equal. It makes them similar, symbiotic, even complementary, but equal they are not.

Then why do we fight so hard for equality when we are not equal, Mr. ToTs? Why do we have to fight for equality if we are equal? Ahh...there it is...we fight for equality because we are not equal. And we know it. So to make up for this, we ask people to discriminate on our behalf. See, herein lies that contradiction that disqualifies equality as an actionable possibility. Ready for it? I think you are. Wheelchair ramps are an open admittance that those robbed of the gift to walk are not equal. They are not equally able to walk up stairs, so we discriminate on their behalf by forcing contractors to build every space in our society so that it is accessible to the ambulatorilly-challenged. Don't spell check that word, I made it up. But do you get where I'm going? Picking up what I'm putting down? Good.

We force companies to interview candidates for employment based on race and gender, rather than ability and qualifications. Even NFL teams have to interview at least one African-American candidate before they can fill a head coaching job. Someone just wasted a few thousand dollars flying first-class to Dallas so that Jerry Jones could give the job to the coach he already had. That's what I call progress.

Now you can go about your internal monologuing regarding EEOE, Affirmative Action, etc, later. Just let me say a few more things, then we'll close this up.

I have met perhaps a dozen people in my life that have equal skin color to mine. I have an olivey-brownish-pale perma-tan thing going on. The result of 16 different ethnicities running through my DNA strands. The typical American mutt. Those 16 ethnicities are almost all simple variances on white. I am fortunate to be white. I admit that. I also admit that its ridiculous that this statement is true, and socially acceptable. One thing we've never come to terms with, as a human race, is that the three non-equalities that really don't matter - the ones that don't actually impact shit about how we can interact with one another, perform our duties to our communities, and further the cause of our humanity - gender, sexual preference, and skin color - are the three things that we have historically focused on the most. Sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? Well that's because it is. Ask residents of Hiroshima if they think it was smart for Hitler to expel Jewish scientists to America in the late 1930's...

The Constitution does not provide protection against discrimination for women. He's right. But when that document was written, women were property. I hope we've moved far enough beyond that, philosophically, culturally, and emotionally, for it not to matter. If we don't discriminate for or against the things that don't actually matter, we'll all be happier. Regardless of what any document says. We'll all be a little closer to that elusive adjective.

But let's continue to discriminate when it matters. Handicap-accessible is a damn good discrimination. So is forcing me to wear glasses to drive. Why? The fact that Joe Wheelchair can't walk affects his abilities for real, and will do so every day of his life. If I drive without glasses, people die. So let's be good neighbors and discriminate in a way that forces us all to help each other out. It still won't be equal, but it will be a much nicer world. But telling someone they can't do a job because they have a vagina is just as dumb as assuming someone can do a job just because they have a penis.

Not equal, not separate, and not pretending that we are. We're stuck on this rock here on the edge of this galaxy that's on the edge of the known universe. Can we at least do our best to make it fun for everyone, regardless of how equal they are?

Thanks for reading. Agree or disagree, I hope it made you think.

Food for Thought...

2011-01-06T22:08:00.000-06:00

http://www.npr.org/2011/01/06/132683668/china-battles-rising-prices-consumer-discontent

http://www.npr.org/2011/01/06/132684170/food-price-surge-puts-strain-on-indias-poor

I don't know how many of my posts will start with links to news stories, or other websites, but I'll try it on for size at least this once and we'll see how it goes.

You can't open a paper, flip to a news channel, or search your aggregated headlines lately (read: the last 2 years) without hearing/watching/seeing a story about food. It seems a global crisis is looming, and in many ways is already happening, for our food supply. As populations increase, along with labor and fuel costs, it seems that we are getting further from the goal of eliminating global hunger. Add a global economic recession to the mix and you have what less sophisticated writers might refer to as "a perfect storm". But I avoid cliches like the plague, so the luck o' the Irish is with you today, readers.

The above 2 stories caught my ear this morning on the way to work. It seems China and India are having serious troubles feeding their peoples. My first thought was: "how is this news? When have these two countries ever NOT had problems with food distribution and access?" But then a Chinese citizen was quoted as saying "...regular people can't afford green vegetables anymore..." My first thought after that: 'welcome to America...'

That's right. My pasty white American ass was jealous, if only for a brief second, of a commie. That's the only thing that could cause a thought that pessimistic and irrational. Or perhaps I was too harsh on myself in that moment following that petty thought...

See, we've been facing this crisis for years in the good ole' US of A. It rolled over our country slowly, and we took it like we were getting paid for it. And in a way, we were. The dollar menu provides cheap, fast, and filling food for a single adult, leaving enough money in the wallet for cover at the club. A family trying to survive on one minimum wage income has no other option. This begs the question: Which came first? The overpriced chicken or the overpriced egg?

Those who know me well know I love food. L-O-V-E love. In a way that would make a person with a less fortunate hand of cards from the genetic pool obese and diabetic. So this is hard to say, but I have to be honest. It's not McDonald's fault. Walmart isn't to blame. ConAgra, Monsanto, they aren't either. I am. Me and all the other foodies that love our out-of-season blueberries from Chile, and blood red, ripe strawberries in December shipped in direct from Ecuador. All manner of fancy groceries from countries we can't afford to visit because we spend so much damn money on food. For the same reason Walmart deserves their fair share of blame for driving down wages, we deserve our fair share of blame for lowering food quality, and driving up prices.

See, the answer to that question above, it's obvious. Neither came first. The free range chicken from the barnyard came first. The affordable eggs from the local farmer came first. Expensive food, we made that. Nature didn't.

By selling organic milk for $6 a gallon, Horizon Dairy Farms gave tacit approval for rich humans to overlook the wrongs being done to not-rich humans. "As long as my kid drinks good, hormone-free milk, they'll be fine and I won't feel guilty." But what about the other kids? Instead of forcing the existing manufacturers, farmers, and suppliers to give us better food at fair prices, we chose to delegate that responsibility to Whole Foods Markup, and we paid them for it. Dearly. The thought shared by seller and buyer: Let those who can have what they what, and damn the rest.

We could have stopped rBgh. We could have avoided the reality that 80% of all antibiotics sold in the US go into our meat supply. We could have stopped pesticides, genetically altered seeds that only sprout plants that don't have seeds, and factory cattle farms. Ethanol is driving up the price of corn - not because there's not enough corn, but because it's all already been delegated to go into our food supply. Nutrient and flavor-free corn, the perfect medium for laboratory flavors.

But us white and wealthy Americans took the easy way out. We started companies to grow real food, instead of stopping companies from growing fake food. We took it, like we were getting paid to take it (read: like hookers).

Tomatoes used to be good. Now they all look the same and taste the same. It's not that great of a taste, but it's consistent, which is good for McWendy King. But it's not good for the people, it's not good for the grocer, it's not good for the farmer, and it's not good for the soil. When Monsanto gets picked apart by a congressional food bill in 10 years, we'll have crops that don't grow anymore. We'll have tasteless fruits and vegetables that no one can afford. And we'll have only ourselves to blame. Blaming the poor for eating off the dollar menu is like blaming slaves for slavery. The people that could have stopped it...us...we...we could have done something about it. We could have said no. No to rBgh and no to $6 milk, all at the same time. No to factory farming and no to $5 bell peppers. No to trade deficits and no to produce that is out of season.

Is it too late to say no? Maybe. Without collective action, definitely. No child will die from a week without milk. And if 300 million people went one week without buying milk, shit would change. Fast. See, corporations, no matter how evil or disembodied, must listen to their customers. So be like Lennon, and start a revolution from your bed. A revolution of inaction. Buy seasonal, buy local, and make a demand every now and then.

Thanks for reading. Agree or disagree, I hope you like it.