Escape from Obesity

New Plan, More Produce

2013-05-10T13:42:00.003-07:00

A few days ago, I sent an email to two of the dietitians at Medifast asking for help with my plan. I have been following the Medifast 5&1 Plan for a couple of months, but have not been losing much weight... 2 or 3 pounds a month. Now, that's okay, it is better than no losses, but honestly it is a pretty strict plan and I had a relapse last week that's been hard to recover from. My carbs are too high, I crave more produce which my doctor recommended to me, and I start to resent not being able to eat more veggies and some fruit over the months I've been on this plan. Considering those factors as well as my obviously slowwwwwww metabolism and lack of physical activity, the dietitians got together and came up with two options for me. One of the options includes dairy and grains. I seem to have trouble controlling my intake when I introduce grains, and some of them seem to affect how I feel physically, too. I've said for awhile that I don't really want to reintroduce grains to my eating, ever. I have mixed feelings about dairy, too... it seems milk can cause inflammation, which is one thing I don't need. That plan is also quite high in carbs, and I'd like to keep mine on the lower side permanently. So I decided that I am going with the other option they presented.

It's called the "4 & 2 & 1 Plan." With this plan, I'll get more variety, twice as many vegetable servings, AND a serving of fruit per day. My calories will stay low, but not as low as they have been; instead of 800-1000 calories (5&1 Plan) I will aim for 1100-1300 calories a day. That's below what seems to be my "maintenance" calorie level, but is also high enough to possibly help give my metabolism a boost. One of the dietitians calculated my calorie needs based on my age, height, etc and said she recommends 1200 calories a day.

So... here is what I will eat daily:

4 Medifast meals (prepackaged)
2 Lean & Green meals, each made up of 5-7 ounces of lean protein and 3 low carb veggie servings
0-2 Healthy fat servings (only added to one Lean & Green meal per day)
1 Healthy Snack, which they define as a serving of fruit, low fat dairy, or grains. I am going to be eating the FRUIT exclusively for my Healthy Snack serving.

This way, I can do what I have wanted to do for so long: eat fresh, local produce in abundance but also still have a structured plan to keep me from going over on other foods. I will eat twice as much lean protein and twice as much veggies, split up over 2 or 3 mealtimes a day.

I am going to go to the Farmer's market every week for my fruits and veggies and try to eat mostly what is in season. I will supplement with organic fresh produce from my favorite grocery store, which has a very nice produce section.

Six servings of veggies a day will be great! One cup of raw greens such as spinach, any kinds of lettuce, or spring mix is a serving; a half cup of any other low carb veggie, cooked or raw, is a serving. High carb veggies are still limited (which is how I prefer it anyway, to keep my carbs lower) so no potatoes, winter squash, corn, or peas. And for my fruit serving, I can have one piece of fruit (such as an apple, orange, small banana, pear, peach, etc) or a half cup of cubed melon or berries. Strawberries are about to come in season and I cannot wait!

I am going to keep logging my calories so I can get a handle on how to stay within the 1100-1300 range and also see if I can keep my carbs close to 100. I think by choosing lower carb veggies and fruits at least part of the time, I should be close.

That's all for now. I am starting this plan tomorrow.

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast Program. Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Carb Frustration

2013-05-08T21:48:00.003-07:00

My eating is still off. I am not eating any junk (candy, bakery stuff, no more pizza or chips) but it seems whenever I let my carbs go really high like I did a few days ago, it is hard for me to get them back down. I crave carbs.

In fact, yesterday I was having some nostalgia as I ponder the comments recently left for me, and I started longing for a simple bowl of steel cut oatmeal with walnuts and berries in it. I was rationalizing to myself about how healthy this would be and made myself 1 serving (1/4 c dry) oatmeal with 2 Tbsp nuts, 1/3 cup of blueberries, some Stevia drops and 1/4 cup of 2% milk. I thought, maybe this will help me feel better. Maybe I don't really have to eat low carb. This is gluten free and sugar free and surely my body will be thankful for the nutrition. Well, my body was not thankful. I felt awful. I got the old familiar headache, slight nausea, and just felt completely awful for a couple of hours. And then I just craved more carbs all day. I think eating that many carbs (40g) at a sitting makes my blood sugar all kinds of unstable. And unstable blood sugar, in me at least, causes headaches and a sort of shaky feeling.

I managed to eat on plan about 80% of the time this week. I've eaten tuna mixed with light mayo in Romaine lettuce leaves, Indian spiced chicken breast with broccoli, and just plain salad. I feel better spacing my food in the Medifast fashion, with a shake or other low carb/high protein mini meal every 2-3 hours.

I think back to when I was a kid and sometimes I get a little angry at the way I was taught and allowed to eat. Who gives a toddler chocolate ice cream for breakfast?? I mean really?? I can almost... ALMOST understand the "standard American breakfast" I was usually given of Cocoa Krispies, Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes and Cocoa Puffs... but ice cream? Why was my lunch so often a hot dog on a white bun with a side of Cheetos? Why was a second grader given potato chips in almost every packed lunch for school, along with a sandwich on Wonder bread? Why was I given Coke, and taken to McDonalds so often I almost thought I lived there? How do you justify having a pantry full of Oreos and giving your kid Kraft macaroni and cheese every weekend, letting them slather margarine on everything, melting Velveeta on their broccoli, giving them a bowl of processed cheese spread for an after school snack, and frying their eggs in bacon grease? I dunno, it just frustrates me because all of those things set my tastes for life. But none of it matters now, really. I am just PMS venting.

I emailed the Medifast dietitians about possibly adding more produce to to my menu (with a 4 & 2 perhaps, which is a different Medifast plan) and am just trying to stay off the carbs and wait til I hear back from them.

Appointments Galore

2013-05-07T12:33:00.001-07:00

This past month I have been utterly swamped with appointments! It's not going to end anytime soon, either.

Dentist: my kids and I all go twice a year. Two of the kids had their checkups this month; one son, who has very thin enamel, has to go back for a filling soon and needs to see an orthodontist for possible braces. I went in myself today for a checkup and cleaning and was told my gums look inflamed. I am not sure what might be causing that, but they recommended upping my flossing to twice a day. Maybe I am not getting enough vitamin C. I also have an old (old!! from when I was 13) filling that has some little cracks going into a molar, so I need to go back and have a crown put on that soon. Ugh, I hate dental work!!

Doctor: two of my kids had their yearly "well checks" and one has to go back in for another health issue. I went in for my blood pressure issues and to talk about my feet and my diet earlier this month and was told to cut the salt back to 1500mg/day and to keep the fat to under 30%. He wanted to see me back in 6 weeks so that is on the schedule too.

Acupuncturist: I was seeing an acupuncturist weekly thought most of April, getting needles in my feet and legs. It seemed to help somewhat, but after 5 visits we called it off because I stopped seeing improvement.

Eye doctors: I took my son for two appointments this month: one for his yearly complete eye exam and the other for a contact lens fitting. He has to go back for a recheck on the contacts next week. I also went in for a full eye exam; I hadn't been in for about 4-5 years and I noticed recently that my near vision is very blurry with my contacts or glasses. Well, they fitted me with bifocal contact lenses and I love them! They feel and "see" just like my regular contacts but I can also now read teeny print close up! I absolutely love them. I worried there would be a "line" or it would just look weird when driving because there are two prescriptions in the lens, but they are just perfect and I am very pleased. I have to go back for a recheck and then again to pick up the contacts I order.

Cardiologist: my doctor was considering sending me back to the cardiologist regarding my blood pressure, so I had to go over there and get my old cardiology records from 2003. It looks like my blood pressure is going down though, so I may be able to avoid this one!

Specialist: I went to see the specialist who advises me about my MTHFR gene mutation and also to talk about my son's health. He advised me to double my dose of l-methylfolate, continue the B-12, and add another supplement called N-Acetyl Cysteine (NAC). He feels this combo may aid the healing of my feet as well as helping lower my blood pressure. He also told me to eat A LOT of fresh produce.

Gyn: Yep, went for the yearly. I am waiting for the results. I always get a little nervous that they will find pre-cancerous cells again. I never, ever want to go through another LEEP procedure. So I am crossing fingers for an all-clear. I also was given an order to go have a mammogram because I haven't had one in way too long, and they are supposed to be measuring and watching a few "suspicious spots." I have my mammogram scheduled for this Thursday.

Specialists (for my son): I am taking him to an appointment once, sometimes twice a week. This has been going on for a few months. Chronic health issues.

Vet: LOL, yep, even the dogs have appointments! Both dogs have gone to the vet (separately) for vaccines this month, and then earlier this week my sport dog went for her OFA hips/elbow x-rays. All looks good, no dysplasia, so if they come back "officially" good, she can do jumps, obedience, agility etc to her heart's content!

Mix in all the other random stuff like my daughter's 3 dance classes a week, a trip to get my son his fishing license, everyone getting haircuts, dog obedience classes once a week, a couple of trips out of town, several birthday parties and social gatherings, playdates, and school stuff and you can see why I haven't had a lot of down time lately! Today I am trying to get caught up on the laundry, cleaning, bill paying, dog grooming and weeding. I admit my fridge is looking rather sparse too; I need to get to the grocery store.

The Farmer's market has finally re-opened and I am going to make a habit of going every week, finding whatever veggies are in season, and bringing them home to eat. I am going to make a point of eating foods that are locally in season this year plus enjoying local free range meats and eggs. I am considering switching to a Medifast 4&2 Plan where I would eat 2 "real food" meals of 5-7 oz of protein and 3 servings of veggies per day plus 4 Medifast meals. That would put me at about 1200-1300 calories a day, I think. I am going to ask my Medifast dietitian for advice. Perhaps that would be a better plan for me, giving me a bit more *healthy* calories yet staying, hopefully, low enough that I continue to lose weight. It's worth a try, anyway.

Relapse

2013-05-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

I felt it coming over the last couple of days... the dissatisfaction with my slow losses, the irritation at my body for not reflecting my efforts. After many weeks of Medifast, sticking to my plan, counting calories and carbs for 5 or 6 weeks straight without screwing up, I felt my taste buds and cravings perk back up when I ate that first off plan meal last week... a salad with grilled chicken but with the high fat, high salt toppings of crisp bacon and salty cheese. Those intense flavors awakened something in me and I wanted more. I sensed the grumblings within when I went to a couple of events and parties last week, easily turning down the junky foods and cakes and sodas, but somewhere deep inside there was some resentment brewing. I felt it, I knew it, I got on the scale and saw 208 again and yesterday my inner child had a tantrum of massive proportions, and for 24 hours I ate off plan.

It did not feel like just 24 hours off plan, though. It felt, emotionally, like a relapse. It felt like I went from food sober to drunk. After eating those foods I found myself lying on the couch feeling like a drunk in a gutter, not myself, no energy, numb. I do not like this sensation, this state of being, at all. It is not what I want for myself.

It has been a very long time since I ate like this, felt like this. I ate with no regard for my health just because I wanted to. I wanted to *not care* for a minute. I wanted way, way more food than I actually ate. But what I did eat made me miserable.

Last night's dinner was 2 pieces of sausage pizza and a scoop of ice cream.
Today I had a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast. Lunch was a cheeseburger with potato chips and sliced cheese. I had a thin slice of chocolate cake that I just could not find the flavor in; everyone else was raving about how great it was. It looked amazing. But I took and bite and it was just... gross. How can chocolate cake be gross? It tasted too sweet, and pasty. Yet I took more bites trying to find the elusive deliciousness in this cake. It never came, and I threw the rest of it away. For the rest of the evening I just felt ill; I ate a few nut clusters and some sliced cheese and then I stopped and thought, "there is nothing in this for me. I want my low carb back."

How did I feel? How DO I feel?

Major pain in my joints, especially my knees. I have not had much knee pain over the last few months, but now it is horrible. I am almost limping.
I feel like I am walking through molasses... slogging along, exhausted simply by walking up a flight of stairs.
I am impatient and want to be alone.
I find I am unable to enjoy *anything else* when I am immersed in food. For example, it was a lovely, sunny evening outside but I could not feel it. I was numb to the pleasures of living, and had no desire to do anything but lay on the couch almost falling asleep.
Overnight, my face broke out.
I did not sleep well.
My body feels 40 pounds heavier than it did yesterday.

I am not weighing tomorrow (Sunday). I know I must be up a few pounds. I am going to get myself back on track and weigh once I have a few good days under my belt again.

I know that some people who have not struggled with this kind of thing will wonder why on earth would I eat those things when I already know from past experience how it would feel. Well, I dunno. Recovery is a tricky thing. I guess the important thing, for me, is that the lapses have gotten so much smaller and less frequent and perhaps they will eventually be completely gone. I waver between thinking, "Most people do eat less nutritious foods once in awhile. If I am doing healthy eating 90% of the time (90/10 rule) I am doing okay" and "I have got to eliminate this kind of behavior completely. I have got to stay on plan 100% to succeed." Well, I will keep working toward 100%, but forgive myself when I am not perfect.

I do know that rather than falling apart for days or weeks as I have in the past, I am ready to jump right back in, right now. This time, 24 hours is more than enough. I want my lightness, my joy, my energy and clear thinking back. I prefer health. I will keep striving for it, even with my faults.

May 1, Ruminating

2013-05-01T12:51:00.001-07:00

It's May 1 and today I weighed in at 208 pounds. That's two pounds gone in April.

Looking back, I've been losing slowly but haven't had any gains since October:

221 October
219 November (-2)
218 December (-1)
218 January 2013 (0)
216 February (-2)
213 March (-3)
210 April (-3)
208 May (-2)

Yep, 13 pounds in 7 months. Ten pounds so far this year.

I sort of accepted the slow losses, or at least I thought I had. I figured eventually my body will catch up and show me a bigger loss. And if not, hey, at least I am losing weight again. My body is changing and I look better and feel better. I weigh less now than I have in about 14 months. But somehow, today, when I wrote down "2 pounds" for April in my planner, I got mad.

I got very irritated that I ate an average of 900-1000 calories a day all month and still lost just 2 pounds. I got annoyed that I worked *very hard* to stay closer to my goal of eating perfection than I have in months... with only one off plan (but low carb) meal all month... and still only lost 2 pounds. In fact, this afternoon I became exceptionally grumpy and just wanted to go to the bakery and have a bagel sandwich and a cupcake. But I didn't. Instead I looked at the calendar, realized I am mid-cycle and my hormones are whacked, thought about my very stressful month with a death in the family and dealing with a serious, long-standing medical issue with one of my children, remembered that I have been dealing with quite a bit of pain from my feet, and gave myself a pass. What I mean by a pass is, I decided not to be so hard on myself and my body. I need to stop thinking negatively about it and embrace the healthy changes and the weight loss I *did* get. I made some big adjustments to my eating... lowering the sodium and fat percentage... sticking to Medifast quite well. And I did increase my activity a bit despite the pain, walking a bit more and biking some. I did okay. I did a good job. There's no need to shoot myself in the foot by going off and eating junk for a day.

I admit I am still annoyed but in a more accepting kind of way. I will keep on working at it, and maybe May will be the month I lose more than 2 or 3 pounds. But if not, I will just be glad for my healthier, healing body.

Baked Fish, Two Ways

2013-04-30T14:30:00.002-07:00

I don't have time for a long post today, but just wanted to share a simple way to make a healthy, delicious dinner. I usually try to eat fish once or twice a week because it is good for you; one of those meals is often salmon. I used to be nervous about cooking any other kinds of fish. It always turned out too dry, flavorless, or worst of all, fishy. I finally have a fairly fool proof way of cooking my fish. It works with any kind of white fish and you just adjust the time up or down a few minutes based on how thick your piece of fish is. There's no mess and you can cook your veggies right in with your fish! This goes nicely with a salad.

In my recipes I like to use Mahi Mahi fillets; I buy them individually frozen in a large bag at CostCo. First, thaw your fish. Rinse it and set it on a large sheet of nonstick foil. Sprinkle with just a few drops of lemon juice or use thin slices of fresh lemon. Season to taste; you can use Cajun seasoning, garlic pepper, a thin slice of onion, whatever you like! I use parsley and Mrs. Dash because it is sodium-free. Next add your fat serving... either a teaspoon of olive oil drizzled on top or a half tablespoon of butter thinly sliced over the fish. Add any vegetables you like to the packet. Asparagus would be nice, or even Italian canned tomatoes or broccoli. In this version I used quartered fresh mushrooms.

Wrap your foil packet gently and loosely around the fish and veggies and seal shut by crimping the edges of the foil. Use a second sheet if necessary. Pop it in the toaster oven (or big oven) at 400 degrees for about 12 minutes. My fish was thick so took about 13-14 minutes; a thin fillet would take less time, perhaps 10 minutes. Check your fish for doneness by opening the packet and trying to flake the fish with a fork in the thickest part. It is done when it flakes but is still moist. Don't overcook! This should be soft, moist and flavorful.

Here is version two, topped with a scallion mixture (light mayonnaise mixed with chopped green onions, black pepper, and dried dill). I placed the fish on a foil lined cookie sheet and baked it at 400 degrees for about 12 minutes. I served it with one of my favorites: cucumber dill salad (thinly sliced cucumbers, 2 Tbsp sour cream, a few shakes of dill, black pepper, onion powder and sea salt, and a splash of white vinegar, marinated for a few hours):

By the way, if you are going to make cucumber salad very often, invest in a mandoline. It is so nice to have a pile of thinly, uniformly sliced veggies in under a minute! I am so over using a kitchen knife for this!

I hope you'll give this fish a try. If you have a favorite veggie or seasoning for your fish, leave me a comment! I love experimenting with recipes.

My Trip and Weigh In

2013-04-29T10:50:00.003-07:00

Yesterday we got home from our little getaway, which was great fun, and then I immediately took my daughter to a party we'd been invited to. We finally got home late in the evening, so my weigh in for the week was done this morning rather than on my usual Sunday morning.

The scale said 208 pounds, which is one pound lost this week. I am *very* pleased with that, for more reasons than one! Let me tell you about my week.

On Tuesday, I got orders from my doctor to try and reduce my blood pressure by limiting my sodium intake to 1500 mg or less and cutting my fat intake to less than 30%. When I looked over several weeks of past food logs, I saw that my sodium intake has generally been slightly under 2300 mg per day, which is what Medifast recommends. But I also spiked higher on days I ate things like low fat cheese, turkey sausage, or used baking soda as a condiment... all allowed on Medifast but higher in sodium. This week I worked to keep it lower and my sodium average per day went way down. I also worked to reduce my fat intake from about 35% calories from fat to under 30%. Here are my average stats for the week, from the time I started the changes on Tuesday through Saturday:

960 calories
110 g protein
89 g carbs
1513 mg sodium
25% fat

I am really happy with those changes! I need to get the sodium down just a little more and would like my carbs to be at about 85. Everything else is great.

So, here's why I am so glad I dropped a pound this week. I thought after my crazy weekend I might have gained! Friday we went to a party *full* of junk. I ate a meal before I went and I took a big water bottle filled with Medifast cranberry mango drink and ice, and I sipped that for 3 hours and had a great time *without* food. I had some Medifast cereal when I got home. I was on my feet walking around for almost the whole 3 hours which was difficult and I had to take a meloxicam to deal with the pain.

We left early Saturday morning, went for a long drive, got to our destination and I was once again on my feet for hours. I bet we walked 2 or 3 miles which I have not been able to do with my plantar fasciitis in about a year. I did have some pain but it seems to be getting better as my eating improves and my weight goes down. I'm sure the acupuncture helps, too. I brought Medifast meals and had those all day, but when it was dinnertime I was so hungry! We went out to dinner and I had a plain, 5-ounce medium rare steak, a side salad with greens, cucumbers, and red cabbage, and a dish of steamed broccoli. It was delicious!

Sunday morning once again we were doing a lot of walking. I woke up so, so hungry! I think all the exercise did it. I drank my Medifast shakes and ate my bars but after walking another 2 miles or so, it just was NOT cutting it. I was getting more and more ravenous by the hour! In the afternoon as we were getting ready to head home, I knew I needed to eat my Lean & Green meal soon rather than wait for dinner. So we went to a little place that I knew served fresh, local, organic foods.

Well that meal turned out to be off plan... my first off plan meal this month. I ordered a chicken Cobb salad with dressing on the side. To be fair, it *did* state on the menu that it would have local cheese and pastured bacon on it, and I did not ask for it to be left off. And when it came, I ate every last bite. I did have the sense to toss the garlic toast, so my meal stayed low carb. And oh, it was so good... the grilled free range chicken, the bits of local cheese, the pastured bacon, the fresh, crisp mixed greens and cucumbers and tomatoes all blended together to make a fantastic salad. It was the best tasting thing I have eaten in awhile! Of course, that's partly because of all the fat and sodium...

Anyway, I came home, had my last Medifast meal and was completely satisfied. I did not eat anything at the party we went to, even though all the other adults and children were eating. And when I got home I did an estimated calorie count on my day including the salad and came out to about 1600 calories and 78 g carbs.

So that's why I was really glad to see a loss this morning. I know I am a little bloated from the travel and the salt, so perhaps once that is gone I will get another pound gone. I am drinking lots of water and being careful to keep my salt and fat intake lower today.

I am also very pleased to finally be back to 70 pounds gone. I hung out around 60 pounds gone for ages! I'm going to take some measurements soon and think I have lost quite a few inches!

Have a great day :)

Clothes, and Meals I Eat on Medifast

2013-04-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today has been crazy busy! I've gotten a burst of energy all of a sudden and am getting lots done: running errands, weeding the yard, housework, dog training, and visiting my daughter at school. My eating's been right where it should be and it is not too hard to stay within the fat and sodium guidelines my doctor set for me. My blood pressure is inching downwards, my 2 pairs of pants that I've been wearing (due to them being the only ones that fit) got too baggy and are in the trash, and my mood is great!

Yesterday, I went through the tub of clothes in my bedroom that are "too small." Funny thing... they used to be "too big." I remember tossing all the size 16's and 14's and some of the 12's into the 'donate' box because they were huge on me! It was sad, and hard, to dig them back out when I regained a chunk of weight, but I was sure glad they never quite got donated like the 20's, 22's, 24's and 26's had! Anyway, just two months ago every pair of pants in that tub was so tight I could not even button them. Yesterday I was able to pull SIX pairs of jeans and Capri pants out of there that fit me comfortably... not even tight! So I know my body is shrinking and changing, even if the scale is ever-so-slow to reflect it.

Tonight we are going to a party where there will be all kinds of junk: pizza, hot dogs, chips, candy, soda. Not the kind of thing I eat anymore. But it's also not the kind of party I could bring a salad to, so I decided to eat my big Lean & Green meal for lunch today and then just have a Medifast meal before and after the party. That way I can focus on socializing, and not food.

Tonight I will be packing for a weekend away with my daughter. We're going on a little 2-day break, just she and I and one of the dogs. It will be nice to spend some girly tome together and just get away for a bit! In the meanwhile, here are some pics of the meals I've been eating while on Medifast.

Today's lunch: Meatloaf hash, made from leftover crumbled low carb meatloaf, zucchini, mushrooms, and canned tomatoes:

Cabbage and green onions sauteed in sesame oil with chicken breast added:

Scrambled local free range eggs and turkey sausage (I had my veggies later):

Mixed green salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, chicken breast, and light blue cheese crumbles:

Pita bread made from Medifast cream of chicken soup, stuffed with greens, tomatoes, low sodium ham, and light Swiss cheese (a mini meal, not a whole dinner):

Cauliflower "calzones" with a mixed green salad and light Balsamic vinaigrette:

Zucchini "fettuccine" with mixed green salad and Medifast sloppy Joe (I had my additional Lean protein at another meal):

All very filling and delicious. I very much enjoy this way of eating, which allows for creative cooking as well as quick, throw-together meals. Lately I have just been tossing my (measured) veggies and protein in a pan and sauteing everything together and it always turns out good!

Enjoy your weekend! I am hoping for a loss when I weigh in this week!

Not Just Pounds

2013-04-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

I am feeling pretty decent today. I'm sticking with my doctor's recommendations and staying under 1500mg sodium and under 30% fat. Those numbers fall right into place when I stay off the nuts as a snack and the fats as condiments. I did find that Egg Beaters have way more sodium than I thought... 480 mg in a cup! That could put me over easily, so I am going to have to watch it with the Egg Beaters. I am also sleeping with one plantar fasciitis splint on (on my right foot, which is the worst) every night to see if that starts helping it heal.

We had a death in the family this week; my daughter's grandmother passed away. She is pretty sad of course; all of her other grandparents died before she was born. We are doing a lot of talking about life and death and heaven.

The other day someone reminded me in the comments that I once wrote about my friend, Ken, who was trying to lose a great deal of weight. He made changes to his eating habits with a reasonable plan. One month later... he had not lost any weight. He kept going. Another month went by with no loss. He stuck with his plan, even though it was frustrating. He knew he had a good plan that, in theory, should result in weight loss. A third month came and went with no weight loss. He still stayed with it. And in month 4, *finally* he had a loss! One pound. Well. What would you do? Ken stayed with it. He saw the scale budging, finally. And in month five the weight started to really come off! In the following months, he averaged over 6 pounds a month. And Ken ended up losing 105 pounds. All because he did not give up and had faith in his plan.

That is the kind of experience that encourages me to keep going. I know my plan is healthy. I know it should result in weight loss. I do *not* know why the losses are so slow right now... two or three pounds a month lately. But I do know if I persist I will get to my goal. And I do know that even though the scale says I have only lost one pound in April, that my jeans are FALLING off me. These jeans that were too tight to wear two months ago are so baggy it is comical. They are going in the trash this weekend and I will be trying on some of those clothes that were way too tight to even get buttoned in February. I *look* and *feel* like I have lost WAY more than 5 or 6 pounds! So I know something is going on, and eventually, the scale will catch up. I am loving the changes I am seeing, and that keeps me going.

Dr Visit and the FAT Issue

2013-04-23T13:30:00.002-07:00

I went to the doctor today to get some feedback on my blood pressure. My doctor was awesome. He was very thorough and after the nurse had taken my blood pressure twice (and came back in the 124/76 range), we chatted for a bit and then the doctor took my blood pressure himself, once in each arm. He got a slightly higher reading, and I told him about the readings I am getting at home with my Omron. After a lengthy, detailed discussion of my weight, foot pain, activity level, diet, and supplements, here is what he said.

1) the meloxicam I was taking can elevate blood pressure.
2) becoming sedentary as I have can elevate blood pressure.
3) eating a low fat diet (under 30%) can lower blood pressure.

This is what he wants me to do for the next 6 weeks:

1) don't take the meloxicam unless absolutely necessary.
2) get on the bike for as long as I can without hurting my feet, every day if possible, and get my heart rate up. He advised me not to do any strength training with weights at this point, as it can spike blood pressure.
3) keep my fat intake under 30%.
4) continue to lower my sodium intake, not just by avoiding the salt shaker but by reading the labels on what I eat (I do eat some higher sodium foods like turkey sausage, cheese, jarred tomato sauces).
5) stay off the caffeine.

He told me that when I take my blood pressure, I need to sit in a quiet room with my feet flat on the floor, relaxed, for at least 5 minutes. Then take the reading. I am to write them down and bring a list of readings back to him at my next appointment.

He wants me back in 6 weeks, and if I have followed all of these instructions and still have high readings, he will order an EKG and start me on blood pressure medication.

Now about that fat. Someone left me a comment the other day saying my fat intake was too high and referring me to the Medifast vegetarian guide. At the bottom, it says that on the 5&1 Plan, daily fat intake should be "at least 10 grams but less than 30 grams." Well, this surprised me. The documents I have, and the nutritionists on Medifast, have always said "10 to 34 grams of fat per day." So is the maximum 29? Or 34? I sent an email off to my dietitian who explained:

"The overall goal is to have less than 30% of total calories be from fat for the 5 & 1 Plan. For 800 calories this would be an upper limit of about 27 grams and for 1,000 calories this would be about 34 grams. In other words, 34 grams is the specific ‘maximum’ amount. To make things easier, whole numbers are often used; therefore the guidelines on the meatless options stating 10-30 grams was developed. Both guidelines meet the intended goal of less than 30% of total calories from fat."

So there you have it. Basically I need to stay under 30% of calories from fat, just like my doctor recommended. That's a clear guideline, and I can do that.

My problem has been in using fats as condiments and fatty nuts as snacks on Medifast. This is what has put me over 30% for most of the time I've been on Medifast. Yes, nuts are allowed as snacks. Yes, some fats can be used as condiments on Medifast. If I use fats as my 3 condiments and nuts as my snack, that adds 10-12 grams of fat to my day. So I have to keep a better eye on that. Also, the healthy fats on Medifast are supposed to be consumed with the Lean & Green meal for gall bladder health. I didn't know that for a long time, and got in the habit of using my fats throughout the day like many folks do on Medifast: half & half in my coffee, cream cheese on my Medifast muffin. I am going to stick to having my fats only with my main meal from now on, too. ETA: here's an interesting study on the effect of dietary fat on blood pressure.

I am hopeful that with more exercise, less salt and fat, and following all of my doctor's other advice, my blood pressure (and my weight) will start going down.

I see the specialist next week and will get his input as well.

Feeling Awful

2013-04-22T13:40:00.003-07:00

I am feeling really lousy today. I felt a little off last night and also as I mentioned, I have been concerned because my blood pressure has been creeping back up. I cut out coffee because I thought that might be the culprit; I switched to one cup of matcha green tea in the morning and then only decaf stuff like herbal teas later in the day. Well that didn't really help, so I also stopped salting my food. Then I cut the tea out completely and even the decaf coffee. With my headaches back and some serious fatigue along with these feet not healing, I am concerned enough that I set an appointment for next week with a specialist that I've seen before. But this morning I felt SO awful that I decided to stop in and have my blood pressure checked at my primary care doctor after I took my daughter to school.

Well, it was still elevated, about the same as home... in the 140's over high 80's. I told her I am already taking garlic capsules, fish oil, and have taken dietary measures but am concerned especially with the headaches and the occasional higher blood pressure spike. So they gave me an appointment with my primary doctor tomorrow and I hope he can help me out. I admit I am very concerned about possibly being put on blood pressure medication, but I am even more concerned about stroke and heart disease so I will do whatever he recommends. And then when I see the specialist next week, I will get his input as well. I have a great deal of respect for and trust in the specialist, so if he tells me I need to change my diet I will do it, although I hope he thinks Medifast is a good thing to stick to. My primary care doctor has always been supportive and encouraged me to stick with it. So, we'll see. I honestly feel so awful I will do whatever the doctors think I should, within reason (no diet pills etc). My energy is so low that I have gotten almost nothing done today... just paperwork, phone calls and a load of wash is started. I feel like I could just go to bed. Looking forward to the medical feedback this week... I need it.

Weigh In

2013-04-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

This morning when I weighed in I wasn't sure what to expect. This was my PMS week; I craved salt something fierce and ate salted pistachios several times as my optional snack. Although my clothes are looser, I felt bloated, and when I snuck a peek at the scale 2 days ago I was UP a pound! But this morning that pound was gone and I was back to 209. That's a maintain for this week.

I stayed 100% on plan with Medifast this week. I drank plenty of water. I did not exercise aside from one short walk and a few hours of yard work. My feet were really bad this week and even pedaling hurt, but after acupuncture they started to feel better. So I went to get on my bike and noticed that it was not plugged in and the cord was wrapped around the pedal shaft. When I went to untangle it, it was shredded in two. SO frustrating. I have to order a new cord tomorrow. (My best guess is that the contractor who is remodeling my bathroom accidentally did this when he moved my bike to store some of his materials in my office/gym. And perhaps a random child tried to pedal the bike while it was like that.)

I logged all my meals in my food tracker again this week. Here's my stats for the week, averaged per day:

998 calories
99 g protein
88 g carbs
39 g fat

This is pretty close to last week's stats, which were 1002 cals, 108 g protein, 89 g carbs and 33 g fat. So I had a bit more fat and less protein per day this week, but still within Medifast guidelines. I have been 100% on plan for the entire month of April except for that one off-plan bite that sent me to the ER two weeks ago.

I wish I was losing faster, but it is what it is. I truly believe that one of these days, hopefully soon, my body is going to realize that I am serious and that this way of eating is not going away and I will start losing more regularly again. I have to believe that. I also believe that if and when I get over this plantar fasciitis and my activity level gets back to normal, that will also make the weight come off faster. I am not looking for huge losses, here; I'd be plenty happy with the 1-2 pounds a week I lost when I did Medifast the first time. It is just SUCH slow going right now. One pound last week, nothing this week. I have an appointment soon with a specialist and I am going to ask him what he thinks I should do... about my health, about weight loss, about the plantar fasciitis... all of it. I trust him and hope he gives me some guidance with this.

Today when I was putting on my capri jeans... the ones that finally fit nicely... I saw daylight through the inner thigh fabric. Darn! They were just getting comfortable. I think they have one or two more washes left in them and then I am going to need something else. All the other warm weather pants I tried on from my closet last month were unbearably tight; I guess now is my chance to try them on again and see if I am getting any smaller.

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast Program. Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

From Sugar to Splenda to Liquid Stevia Sweetener: Why I Switched

2013-04-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, early in my weight loss journey, I always used real sugar, honey, and agave nectar when I wanted something sweet. I added them to my tea, sprinkled or drizzled them on my grapefruit, and tossed them in my fruit salad. This was a great improvement over my previous morbid-obesity-inducing diet of candy bars, bakery cakes and packages of Oreos, but over time I realized that eating low carb is what truly works for me. I needed to get away from sugar and agave and all their carbs and calories, but still wanted to use sweetener once in awhile. Sure, I learned to drink my coffee black and my teas unsweetened. Yes, I started eating plain, delicious, naturally sweet fruits for my desserts. But on Medifast, fruit is something you add after the weight loss phase. And every so often, I like to sweeten something a bit: a cup of "dessert" coffee, a bowl of ricotta with cinnamon, or some light cream cheese to spread on my Medifast muffin.

Ever since switching to artificial sweeteners, I've loved the taste of Splenda. When I still drank diet sodas, I switched to Splenda-sweetened drinks. At one time I had six glass bottles of various flavors of sugar free syrups on my counters. For years I've kept a box of Splenda packets in my cupboard and a few little yellow packets in my purse, just in case. But recently, I started to wonder about the safety and possible side effects of ingesting this chemical called Splenda. While the Splenda company's website lists plenty of studies regarding the safety of their product, not everyone shares this opinion. The Truth About Splenda website discusses some of the concerns about the sweetener, including this study about possible side effects of Splenda. Many people claim to have gotten sick or to have various symptoms from ingesting Splenda, including everything from depression to rashes and from migraines to hair loss. It's anecdotal, but enough to concern me.

So what to use instead? After reading lots of articles including this Complete Guide to Sweeteners, I decided I should give stevia a try. Stevia is a plant that's been used as a sweetener for over a thousand years, so it felt safer and more natural to me. Granted, I am not picking and crushing stevia leaves into my food and the stevia we buy in stores *is* processed, but it is not turned into another chemical entirely. There are two different forms of stevia. One is based on a single extract from the plant, called rebaudiosides, and is FDA approved as a sweetener. The other is a whole-plant extract called steviosides and is sold as a dietary supplement (but still used by lots of people as a sweetener). I believe the latter is better, as it contains all the beneficial compounds in the stevia plant and not just one compound in isolation. There are very few reported side effects of stevia in what I have read, but those listed on WebMD include lowering blood sugar and lowering blood pressure! Those are both benefits for some folks, myself included. Studies even indicate that stevia may help treat insulin resistance and hypertension. You can read more about stevia and these studies in this excellent article: Is Stevia Healthy?

After deciding to switch to stevia, I tried Truvia. It came in little packets in the grocery store. Yuck! I hated it! It tasted excessively bitter to me. I tried several times and just couldn't enjoy it. I know that Truvia does not taste bitter to everyone, but to some the bitterness is very pronounced. So I set off in search of a non-bitter stevia. In my research I read that NuNaturals brand stevia (liquid) is not bitter, so I decided to give it a try. I ordered myself a little bottle of this: NuNaturals Pure Liquid Clear Stevia. I love it! It is not even the least bit bitter, is very sweet so you only need a few drops, and is made from the whole plant extract. It is so convenient to have it in a dropper bottle, so I can add one drop at a time to sweeten anything to taste. And I feel good knowing that it is not just a sweetener but a supplement that might help me keep my blood pressure down and blood sugar stable.

Last week I threw out all my Splenda packets. I am sticking with stevia from now on. This is a change I really feel positive about and intend to keep.

What sweetener do you use, and why?

Update

2013-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Today was visit #4 to the acupuncturist. Sadly, the last appointment did not give me the same relief that the first two did. In fact, I got no relief at all. My pain was steady at a 6 or so on a scale of 0 to 10 all week... until Tuesday. That's when it started to get worse. I had to take some Advil to try and get through it but the Advil did not touch the pain. Then yesterday evening, I went to stand up from the couch and the pain in my feet was so excruciating that I could not take a step. Pretty much a 9.5 out of 10. I had to take a meloxicam and wait awhile before hobbling off to bed. This morning? Bliss! Nearly pain-free feet, a 1 or 2 out of 10! I love meloxicam. It is amazing. Sadly it is not something I can take long term, but at least today was fairly painless. The medication is supposed to last 24 hours, so tomorrow morning I will know whether or not the acupuncture helped. Since I was in so much pain, I asked for no needles directly into my heel this time. I do love how relaxed I feel after a session. He focused on points to help with inflammation, energy flow, and stress relief. He also did the points in my legs that help heal the feet. Then he did moxibustion on my heels *without* any needles, and then I was done.

I am really hoping for improvement tomorrow, because we are at a critical point. We'd decided that if there was not significant improvement in 4 to 5 sessions, this was probably not the answer for my plantar fasciitis. So we'll see. I may go back anyway just for the stress relief, because that part *does* work.

I am really excited because in a few weeks the farmer's market reopens! I know there won't be much local produce at first... asparagus, maybe some greens and such... but I am still happy to get back in the habit of going and looking for new things. I hope to try lots of new, local veggies this season.

I am also excited that my clothes are noticeably looser. The shirts that were clinging to me two months ago now hang correctly and look nice. The jean capri pants that nearly cut me in half to button last month now fit just fine (size 16). I feel better about my body and am starting to see a waistline again. I know the weight is coming off slowly, but there are definitely other changes happening. I'll be taking measurements soon to see just how much I have changed.

Looking forward to a calm weekend with my kids.

Finally, a Truly Low Carb Calzone Recipe!

2013-04-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

Over the years I've looked and looked online for a decent low carb substitute for calzone dough. You can make it with almond flour; you can use CarbQuick and other commercial mixes. You can even make the crust with flax seed meal. But all of those things are too carby for my current plan. I also don't want to make something that is *so similar* to real pizza dough that it sets off cravings or makes it difficult for me to stop at one serving. I've already made and enjoyed low carb cauliflower crust pizza, so I thought, hey... why not? I'll try making a calzone from the cauliflower crust recipe.

I started out by making a batch of the cauliflower crust using a cup of steamed cauliflower I had on hand. It was very soft and I chopped it fine and squeezed out as much moisture as I could before continuing with the recipe. I used a bit more of the mozzarella in the crust and a bit less for the filling. When my "dough" was made, I spread half of it on a cookie sheet lined with nonstick foil sprayed with Pam. I topped it with a spoon of low carb pizza sauce, the rest of the mozzarella, a few turkey sausage crumbles, and thinly sliced mushrooms:

The remaining "dough" was still in a mixing bowl; I left it in the bowl and pressed it into a thin, similar shape. Then I slid it from the bowl onto the calzone. I used my fingers to push the edges together and seal in the filling.

I put it in an oven preheated to 350 degrees and baked it for about 20-25 minutes, until golden and firm.

I let it cool slightly and then cut it in half to eat with a salad for a complete Lean & Green meal on Medifast. And yes, you can pick it up to eat it!

Great stuff, and a wonderful way to eat more veggies! This one's a keeper for life. Next time, I plan to add more mushrooms, sauce, and green peppers. You could also use low fat ricotta in place of the mozzarella in the filling. Enjoy your *healthier* calzones!

Eat Your Veggies: Eggplant!

2013-04-15T17:36:00.001-07:00

Eggplant, I think, is one of the most misunderstood of all vegetables. Few people I know claim to like eggplant, and even fewer actually cook it. Often, the only exposure people have had to it is in restaurant eggplant Parmesan, where it is sadly breaded and fried, covered in sauce and cheese, and turns out mushy and barely recognizable. But eggplant by itself is *so* yummy! It is a real treat, and one I love to make.

Eggplant is one of the world's healthiest foods. It contains loads of vitamins and minerals, phytonutrients, and antioxidants to benefit our bodies. One cup of raw eggplant contains 11% RDA of fiber, 10% RDA of manganese, 5.4% RDA of potassium, and is a good source of folate, vitamin K, copper, vitamin C, B6, B3, and magnesium, and 0.8 g protein... all for only 20 calories! It's also a low carb vegetable with only 4.7 grams of carbs per cup (under 2 grams net carbs). It's hard to beat!

Eggplant should be firm and heavy with a smooth, shiny, vividly colored skin. Look at this yummy baby:

But what do you do with eggplant? Well, the best (in my opinion) and simplest way to prepare it is to roast it. You can cube or slice up a whole eggplant and then use it in various recipes. You can use the cubes as a pasta substitute with sauces, layer them in lasagna or any casserole, or toss the cubes into a salad. I like to eat them plain! I also have a delicious recipe which simply layers roasted eggplant with Italian-style canned tomatoes and light mozzarella cheese, baked until hot and melty. Delicious!

To roast eggplant, just cut it into 1" cubes or 1/4" thick slices. The skin is edible and you can leave it on if you like; it adds texture. I prefer my eggplant peeled most of the time, unless it is cooked into a sauce. People commonly think that eggplant must be salted in order to make it not taste bitter, but that's only really true if you are using older, seedier eggplant that is actually bitter. Young, small eggplant tastes better and when you cut it, it looks creamy white like this:

If you are using a big eggplant with lots of browning seeds inside, you may want to salt the slices, set it aside in a colander for a half hour, and then rinse and drain it before cooking. If there's any doubt about whether or not your eggplant is bitter, taste it! Just take a cube and give it a lick. Mine tasted sweet, so I didn't need to salt it before cooking.

Once your eggplant is prepared, toss the cubes with a little olive oil. If you are using slices, coat them very lightly with the oil, salt and pepper them lightly if desired, and spread on a cookie sheet lined with nonstick foil.

Roast in the oven at 400 degrees for about 25-35 minutes, or until the edges are browned to your liking and the middle is soft.

These got a teeny bit browner than I usually like, but still tasted awesome! The flavor is mild and the interior is creamy. Great for snacking right out of the oven! They also freeze well to use in recipes later.

If you haven't tried eggplant (or have only had it under tons of sauce and cheese), give it a try! You might find your new favorite veggie.

My Week in Numbers... Including a Weigh In

2013-04-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

This was a very good week for me! My eating was 100% on plan, with no off-plan bites at all since that dreadful bite of beef in oyster sauce last weekend that sent me to the ER. This week finally felt easy for the most part. I had a few hungry moments, but managed to get through it without extra food. I made my meals delicious and healthy: baked fish, extra lean ground beef, cauliflower, tomatoes, mixed green salads, light cheese, Egg Beaters, squash, celery, red peppers, tuna, eggs, broccoli, and scallions. I had a couple of small snacks during the week of almonds or pistachios and drank lots of water. This morning the scale said 209, which is a one pound loss from last week. I'll take it!

This week I tracked my calories daily in a food tracker. It's not really *necessary* on Medifast, if you follow the plan, eat 5 Medifast meals and measure your meat and veggies, but I think with my slower losses it may be beneficial for me to see where I am and what may need to change. Here's my stats for the last 7 days, averaged:

average per day:

1002 calories

108 g protein

89 g carbs

33 g fat

This is all perfect, within the guidelines set by Medifast dietitians. The only thing I'd like to change is to lower the carbs just slightly; it's okay to have up to 100 g carbs per day on Medifast, but the "optimal" range is 80-85g/day.

What I really like about this plan is that it literally takes me about 5 minutes per day to log my food. It takes little thought and I am free to focus on *life* rather than food. I do have to decide what to cook for dinner each night, but that's no harder than it was for the past 20+ years having a family!

I did not exercise this week. At all. I totally dropped the ball on that and my body is feeling it! I'm a little stiffer and less energized when I don't bike, so my goal for the coming week is to get back on.

That's all for now. Getting closer to being back under 200 again. Finally.

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to comment on my experiences on the Medifast Program. Medifast products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Confession

2013-04-13T13:25:00.001-07:00

I have a secret file on my computer that no one sees. I hide it with an obscure name, and every so often I get it out and read it or edit it. Well, maybe it's not such a big deal to you, but it kind of is to me. It's a list. A list of foods I want to eat... "someday."

It started a long time ago. One day I was craving a couple of very specific and very off-plan food items. I was *really* battling it in my head. I was going back and forth:

I *have* to try that new food! I can't stand not ever having it!
No, you don't need it. So what if you never have it?
But I HAVE TO. I want it! It looks so good!
etc...

or...

Oh I really want a bag of xyz! I remember how great they taste!
No, you will gain weight if you eat that. And it's not healthy,
But I don't care! I used to eat it all the time and it was soooo good. I really want to have it again!

And I would argue myself into a corner until I made a decision: eat the food or not.

I found a really good solution. Instead of telling myself "never," I started the list. On it, I typed each one of those foods that I wanted to eat again someday. At first, years ago, I figured since I was a binge eater and generally slipped and binged every few weeks, this would make my binges more efficient. Instead of randomly cruising the grocery store and throwing random stuff into the cart for a binge, I could go with a list! I could have all the things I really, really wanted all at once, in one day, and be done with it. Hey, if I was going to binge anyway... and I was (because I was still battling that monster)... may as well make it great! Later, when I stopped binge eating completely, it became more of a therapeutic list. I didn't actually intend to run off and eat those things in a binge someday, but I figured it was a way to delay off-plan eating. Instead of feeling deprived or obsessing about a food, I could just go type it into my list and tell myself, "later."

I did something else, too. Back when I used the list for a reference guide to off plan eating, I made adjustments to the list after I ate any of the foods on it. So if I ate one of those "omg must have it" foods, I'd move it to a new column in my list: either "what I ate that wasn't as good as I thought it would be" or "what I ate that was worth it." That way, I wouldn't "forget" which foods really were not as delicious as my memory wanted me to believe. That's the thing about an eating disorder: it is based in fantasy and not reality. So keeping things real did help me a lot along the way.

Today I was out shopping for spring clothes with my daughter. It got to be near lunch time, and she started asking about going out to eat. We were close to some of our old haunts. I had not planned on a meal out. I'd brought along a Medifast shake, and we could be home by lunchtime. But my brain started whining on and on about the yummy foods I *really* wanted to eat. So for the first time in months, I decided to employ the list. I drank my shake, drove home, gave my daughter some lunch, and sat down with the laptop. I opened the file and typed in a couple of foods that were "bothering" me. And that's when I noticed something.

The list of "what I ate that wasn't as good as I thought it would be" was LONG. Very long! In it were foods I don't even remember eating! But I know I must have, since I typed them in. Some were things I've craved recently, too, but seeing them in the "tried but not that good" list made the desire for them fade a LOT. I scrolled and scrolled down the list, amazed at how *so many* of the foods I had obsessed about were not even that great. And then I finally got to the list of "what I ate that was worth it." It is FOUR items long!! Four! Only four of the things I had fantasized about eating during that whole period when I used to binge were "worth it!" And one of them was a FRUIT! Another was Coke... which I gave up eons ago (I don't drink ANY soda at all anymore and don't crave it in the least). That leaves only two "junky" foods left that I thought were worth the indulgence... and both are grain free and gluten free.

I am still going to use this list as a way to get bothersome foods out of my head, but since I no longer binge, don't plan to eat off-plan, and hope not to go back to eating junk when I am in maintenance, it's now just an interesting list to remind me that it's all just food. It reminds me that the memory of the taste is often better than the taste itself. And it reminds me that the stuff I crave will most likely not be as good as I think it will.

Smoke and Needles

2013-04-11T13:32:00.003-07:00

What a really nice day I have had so far! My mood is good, my body feels good, the pain in my feet is far less. After getting the kids off to school this morning, I headed out for my third weekly acupuncture appointment. My foot pain had gotten better for a few days after the last one, then disappeared completely when I started steroids for an allergic reaction but came back yesterday at about 70% of what it was before treatment. At today's appointment, I had all of the same treatments I had last week plus the moxibustion I had during the first appoitment. When I left, I was feeling very relaxed and calm. I love how de-stressing acupuncture is! Of course, there is about a five minute period where I feel kind of sick and stressed when he whacks those needles directly into my heels, but after that it's not so bad. I do think it is helping.

This afternoon I finally went and had a pedicure after going several months over the winter without one. My old pedi shop had closed and I decided to try a new one. It was really nice and I love the leg massage. Came home, made a Medifast lunch and a cup of decaf coffee, and am just enjoying the peace and quiet for a bit before I have to get some work done. My kind of day!

Oh, I also asked the acupuncturist about my super-slow weight loss. We discussed my blood work numbers (from my primary care doctor) which are excellent, and my lifestyle in general, and the acupuncturist told me that the most likely cause of my slow losses, aside from being so sedentary, is stress. I am doing what I can to address that already. For now, the weight just ticks slowly off... a few pounds a month... and I just hope that eventually when this plantar fasciitis improves and I am more active, it'll speed up a bit. Either way, I'll get there. The time will pass anyway... may as well be thinner at the end of it!

Still Going

2013-04-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday:

I switched from decaf coffee to Matcha green tea 1st thing in the morning. Yummy.
First 3 meals were Medifast shakes
Afternoon snack: iced Medifast hot cocoa made with decaf coffee
Dinner: Cauliflower Mac & Cheese (I subbed 2% milk for most of the half and half to save on fat)
Evening snack: Medifast vanilla pudding

Stats:
1018 calories
98 g protein
87 g carbs
38 g fat (32%)

Today:

Matcha green tea
8am: Medifast muffin from pancakes
10am: same, with decaf coffee and half & half
lunch: Medifast Chili Mac (mixed the chili and the macaroni & cheese, split it into two meals, added canned diced tomatoes)
Planned 3pm: Medifast shake
Dinner will be a Mexican Beef Egg Burrito, recipe here, with steamed cauliflower added to the filling and a side of cucumber salad
Evening snack will be a Medifast Caramel crunch bar

Stats:
914 calories
114 g protein
88 g carbs
24 g fat (22%)

Going for my third acupuncture appointment tomorrow morning. Still just plugging along!

What I Ate

2013-04-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's what I ate yesterday:

black coffee
Medifast cereal with almond milk
Medifast hot cocoa
Small dish of Egg Beaters and turkey sausage
Medifast cookie shake
black coffee and a Medifast caramel crunch bar
tuna "noodle" casserole (no actual noodles!)
Medifast pancake made into a muffin

Stats:
1137 calories
117 g protein
92 g carbs
42 g fat (32%)

And here's today. I have already had my Lean & Green meal for lunch, and have planned out my last couple of Medifast meals as well. Feeling pretty good for being on steroids :)

black coffee
Medifast dark chocolate shake
Medifast chai latte
1 1/2 cups of fresh broccoli roasted with olive oil
tuna and egg salad made with light mayo, mustard, and dill pickle relish
Medifast shake
Medifast cookie
Medifast cereal with almond milk

Stats:
915 calories
102 g protein
83 g carbs
30 g fat (27%)

Drinking lots of water and taking it very easy, hoping that resting my feet while on the steroids may help them in the healing process.

Food Update and Weigh In

2013-04-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'm back to post about my trip and weigh-in... second post today! I am feeling mentally very good and happy and positive, even though my body is tired and sore from yesterday's fiasco. I am not doing much today... just staying home, watching movies with my little girl, playing fetch with the dogs in the living room.

Cut to the chase: I weighed in this morning at 210 pounds, same as last week. I have to admit, I was kind of relieved. I just got home from a mini-vacation with meals out, felt a little bloated from being in the car so much, and then with the steroids from yesterday I was thinking I might even see a gain. I have only been losing 3 pounds a month so even one pound a week would be awesome. I am hopeful that once I get off the steroids and the bloat is gone, I might even get a couple pound loss! We'll see.

As for my eating on my trip, this is how it went. I packed ten Medifast meals. I chose ones that travel well and that I enjoy: bars, puffs, ready-to-drink shakes in cartons, and packets of hot cocoa. We left in the morning and the kids and I packed a picnic lunch rather than stopping at a restaurant. The kids had peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat, juice, and Kashi brownies. I had Medifast Parmesan puffs because they take a long time to eat, and stopped for an iced Americano with sugar free caramel syrup to go with it (I did bring my water bottle, but iced coffee is a nice treat!) We went to a very nice park to eat and then my daughter played on the playground while my son and I played with the dog.

I had my Medifast bars and shakes for snacks as we drove. When we got to the hotel, we immediately went for a swim! My daughter made a little friend in the pool so she was occupied for more than an hour. Dinner was at a restaurant, and I chose a huge salad with Romaine, tomatoes, cucumbers, and smoked chicken breast with house-made dill dressing on the side. It was delicious! It's often hard to find a salad that is big enough with enough meat on it to meet the Medifast guidelines, but this one did! Later, back at the hotel, I had Medifast hot cocoa before bed.

The next day was full of fun events and a lot of time on my feet. Of course, first we went to the hotel breakfast buffet where the kids enjoyed waffles and biscuits with gravy. I had my Medifast cocoa mixed with coffee and about 1/2 cup of scrambled eggs (towards my protein requirement for my Lean & Green meal). Our lunch was provided at a potluck spread we were invited to, and thankfully there were several nice veggie plates and salads. My meal consisted of Romaine, red peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, light cheese, chicken, and bottled water. I ate Medifast meals for the rest of the day.

I feel really good about my eating all week and am going to just continue on with the Medifast. Hoping to break under 210 next week!

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to comment on my experiences on the Medifast Program. Medifast products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

How One Off-Plan Bite Can Kill

2013-04-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes on my blog and elsewhere, you see people talk about how when we're trying to lose weight we have to look at off plan foods... like, perhaps, sugar or wheat, depending on your plan... as poison. In fact just last week I was talking about how I finally see candy bars and bakery goods as just that... poison to me. I know they raise my blood sugar, elevate my blood pressure, and put my body into a very unhealthy state. I know that one bite of a brownie or thin slice of cake can send me into overdrive wanting more and more and more sugar and junk. And that makes it very hard to lose weight and be healthy. I've talked about how if someone is allergic to, say, peanuts, they don't buy peanut butter, stare longingly at the jar, and dream of peanut butter. They don't rationalize eating "just one bite" of peanut butter because it tastes sooooooooooo good... because they *know* that bite could literally kill them. So we kind of have to look at off-plan eating with that kind of seriousness, to stop the rationalizing.

Last night when I got home from my trip, my adult son was eating some carryout Chinese food. There were several open, still-warm boxes sitting on the kitchen counter and my other son started dishing it up for himself. There was plenty, and it smelled so, so good! But I'd already eaten. All I had left to eat for the day was a Medifast meal. That Chinese food was not on my plan for the day. I looked into the open boxes: sweet and sour chicken, pork with noodles, and a mostly-vegetable dish with small pieces of beef in it. "Well," I rationalized, "that veggie dish looks very low carb. I can just have *one bite.* I just want to taste it. That won't hurt anything." And I picked out a little piece of beef as small as a quarter. I put it in my mouth and ate it. It tasted really good. And then, my mouth started to tingle. I wondered if I was imagining things. The back of my throat started to tingle, too. I turned to my son who walked into the kitchen. "What is this?" I asked. "Beef with oyster sauce. You're not allergic to oysters, are you?"

Apparently I am. We already knew I am severely allergic to shellfish including mollusks; the skin prick test at the allergist's office made my whole arm swell up when testing for shrimp, lobster, crab, and clams. Within minutes of swallowing that bite of beef, my tongue was swelling and it was hard to swallow. I broke out the liquid Benedryl, drank 60 mg worth, pulled out the Epi-pens and my son and I headed to the hospital just minutes away. They hooked me up right away, gave me a hefty dose of steroids, and monitored my airway which thankfully did not close. Thank goodness for keeping liquid Benedryl handy. A few hours later they sent me home with a 5-day script of steroids and instructions to continue the Benedryl until all symptoms subside.

Well. I can't tell you just how scared I was. I have had severe reactions before and they can be life-threatening. I laid there thinking, "Am I going to die because I tasted ONE BITE of that stupid Chinese food? I did this to myself because I didn't say NO to that stupid off-plan bite!" My blood pressure was 175/100, my heart was racing, I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me. It was very scary. And while this is an extreme example of the possibility of losing one's life from one off-plan bite, it is a GOOD example. Because that one bite of brownie COULD damage your health. That one mini candy bar COULD spiral you out of control into a binge. That one Dorito COULD be the thing that derails you from weight loss and sends you into regain mode.

Granted, I'd never have taken that bite if I had *known* it contained an allergen. But that's the thing. You just never know what big effect something might have on you. We never bring shrimp of crab or anything like that into the house, but this was off everyone's radar. But I *had* been warned. The allergy doctor had told me, "I'd stay away from Chinese restaurants. There's a lot of cross contamination. The majority of my patients who have severe allergic reactions to a food have them from eating at Chinese restaurants. It's too big a risk." But I didn't listen. I was *careful.* But he was right. And I risked my life for that bite. If I had gone all-out and dished up a whole plate of that stuff and eaten it quickly, I could have died. I am never going to put my life on the line for ANY food again.

I feel like someone beat me up today. I am exhausted and have a flu-ish, sore feeling. They said that would happen and is normal for the reaction I had. I do have more to say about my trip, my eating, and a weigh in but this post is long enough. Will come back later and write again.

Another Round of Acupuncture, and Eating Update

2013-04-04T15:33:00.000-07:00

Today was my second acupuncture appointment for my plantar fasciitis. I had my first appointment a week ago (detailed here) and my pain level went down quite a bit for several days. But then it came back over the last 2 or 3 days. I was a little sad, but I know this isn't something that is "cured" in one visit, so this morning I went back for another round.

This time was different. We started with a short talk about my symptoms and then rather than starting with the back of my legs and feet, he gave me a "holistic" treatment for overall wellness and to help with stress. I was lying on my back this time as he inserted a dozen or so needles into my arms, hands, legs, and feet. He dimmed the lights and went out for a good 20 minutes while I relaxed. The needles were almost painless this time. When he came back, he pulled them out and had me turn on my stomach for treatment on the backs of my legs and feet. Those hurt a little more, but nothing horrible... just a slight prick. I think he did the same areas as last time, all over the calves and sides of my feet. He went out again, came back in 10 minutes and twirled each needle until I felt a little jolt, and then left them for ten more minutes before taking them out. I asked him how deep the needles were in, since I couldn't see, and he said it varied from 1/8" in shallow places to an inch and a half deep in my calves! The jolts, he explained, were the energy channels for "chi".

*Edited to add: at some point in the treatment, he put two needles into each foot on the side of the heel and attached e-stim wires to them. I have had e-stim before, but just with sticky pads attached to my feet. He turned on the low voltage electrical current and ran it right through the needles into my feet. It did not hurt at all... just tingled. He let it run for about ten minutes before taking them out.

Next, he repeated the gua sha from last time, scraping my heels with a Chinese soup spoon. He was a *lot* more aggressive this time, pressing very deeply and I could feel the bumps and tight areas of tissue as he went over them. It was kind of sickening, the sensation it made in my feet, but only the right heel hurt in one tiny spot.

Finally, he hurried and did that technique he mentioned last time... the one that would have freaked me out if he'd given me time to think it over, but wisely, he just quickly got it done with just a few seconds' notice. It was amazing how calm he was and how quickly he tapped needles directly into the most tender point of my heels, right where the plantar fascia attaches to the heel bone and is sore and inflamed. It hurt, but it was so fast I didn't have time to object or think before the needles were right in. Then we waited a bit and he twirled each needle until I felt a (very jolting!) jolt... waited a minute, then repeated it. Then the needles were out and we were done.

I left feeling oddly SO relaxed I almost wanted to sleep. I felt like I was lying in the sun on the beach on vacation. And when I got home and walked around, my felt *almost* didn't hurt at all. In fact, all day my pain level on a scale of 0 to 10 has been maybe a 3, max. I am pleased and hope this improvement continues. I have another appointment next week.

On the eating front, yesterday was good:

7am: black decaf coffee
8am: Medifast cereal with almond milk
10am: Medifast meringue crunch bar
noon: Medifast shake
3pm: Medifast shake and 1 tablespoon of PB2
6pm: big salad of Romaine and spinach topped with sauteed chicken breast, green peppers, mushrooms, and onions cooked in olive oil
8:30pm: Medifast chocolate mint crunch bar

Stats:
865 calories
98 g protein
86 g carbs
23 g fat (21%)

That is right where I am aiming. Usually my calories are closer to 1000-1100, but a low day here and there is fine, especially with that much protein. Feeling good and getting ready to pack for my mini vacation!

Making Some Changes for Best Possible Results

2013-04-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday didn't turn out as planned. When I started making the split pea soup, I got halfway through and didn't have all the ingredients! Bad planning. So I put that away and the kids had ham and Swiss sandwiches and deviled eggs for dinner. I took out 5 ounces of dark meat chicken and made myself a chicken salad with a side of Romaine and cherry tomatoes. I also got super hungry mid-day and had my optional snack of almonds. One of my goals is to use the optional snacks that have very few calories (like celery or sugar free jello), so I will try to do better on that today. Those nuts may be healthy, but they really add up and make a difference.

My stats for yesterday were:

1054 calories
98 g protein
85 g carbs
47 g fat (37%)

Everything is about where it should be except the fat is high. Medifast advises 34 g fat/day max. I will keep a closer eye on that today as well.

Yes, I started tracking again. I haven't tracked calories in about 2 months, but am trying to tighten things up in April and see where I can improve. I am hoping that will get me a slightly better loss this month. Three pounds a month, which is what I've gotten the last 2 months, is okay. But if I can get it up to 4, I will hit a new low this year. I think I can do it, especially if this plantar fasciitis heals. Speaking of which, my feet were improved for several days after the acupuncture session last week, but then yesterday they were pretty bad again. I have another session tomorrow and hope it keeps helping.

I will be leaving soon for a couple of days for a mini vacation! So excited! I am taking my kids who are on spring break right now and we'll be staying in a hotel... one with a breakfast buffet included. This has kind of been an issue for me in the past few years. When I am low carbing or on Medifast, I tend to justify eating any of the high protein items in hotel breakfasts: eggs, cheese, sausage, bacon, sometimes yogurt. On Medifast I make it a "4&2" day, meaning I eat 4 Medifast meals and two regular meals. But there are never enough veggies (if any at all) in a hotel breakfast, and come on... sausage and bacon?? Not good for weight loss! Cheese? Well if it isn't low fat, it's not on plan. And the yogurt always has added sugar.

So I have been thinking about this. I often gain weight or maintain on vacations because if food is FREE, I feel like I have to eat it or I am "wasting" it. I seek out hotels with free breakfasts so it is more convenient (and cheaper) to take the kids there rather than going out. I love the free coffee and tea. But you know, this is a mindset that has got to change. And it is time. Just because the food is free does not mean I have to eat it. Instead of thinking, "oh! A FREE breakfast! Now how can I make this work? I don't want to eat Medifast food when there is FREE yummy stuff right here!", I can choose to view it the same as any other off-plan junk that makes its way into my presence, and stay *truly* on plan by eating my usual Medifast for breakfast. I can still enjoy some hot tea or coffee, and my kids can have their waffles. The only way to really fit a hotel breakfast into Medifast is if it is one of those hotels that makes your breakfast to order and has spinach, mushrooms, peppers, etc for omelets. And even then, it would need to be part of my ONE Lean & Green meal. The only on-plan reason to do a 4&2 is on days I am doing more than 45 minutes of vigorous exercise. Otherwise, adding a second Lean & Green meal is just going to stall my weight.

I am going to get this done. I am going to step outside my comfort zone and quit being complacent. I have been making an effort, and staying *mostly* on plan, but I have not been putting my ALL into weight loss. Mediocre efforts yield mediocre results and I am going to give it all I've got to get the best result I possibly can... no matter what that number turns out to be.