Laundry

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noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 05:14:00 +0000

Why I am overwhelmed..

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:33:00 +0000

Like a happy ending of a hindi movie.

Like Obama said last night - it's been a long time coming, but I thought it had still longer to go before it did arrive.

Today I am overwhelmed by the will of the people.

I watched two hundred thousand people standing together in a park in Chicago celebrating the winner of the presidential elections - a colored man. It was like a balloon inside me. I am overwhelmed.

There are many things I've thought possible, this wasn't one of them.

People were crying! There was a deluge of tears. It wasn't just the election for a president of a country. It was centuries of hopes and dreams coming to fruition. New ground being broken. New possibilities. New dreams now.

I haven't even started about Obama's policies or how he may make a better president. There are so many facets to it all. But for once I actually dived in and followed the journey.

I'm not American. I can't even vote! (Ofcourse one follows the other!) But it felt just TOO important to not be a part of. It wasn't just a presidential election, it was coming of age of an entire population in more ways than one. People finally dared to dream and believe that they could actually be cogs of the machine that brings about a change - and they did their part. It's like a brilliant scientific experiment - where you mix the right chemicals in correct amounts, follow the protocol, and are just delighted when the promised result pans out right in front of your eyes.

I repeat - I'm not American...

but I think the country just grew up.

The King had a dream, and it has been realized. I could never imagine it would be this soon.

Just 53 years ago a black woman was arrested because she wouldn't stand up to give a white man her seat on a bus. Today a black man was given the highest seat in the country.

Can you FATHOM the idea???

NOT to say that possibilities didn't exist... but were they actually available and real and in the people's minds? Hell NO!

People turned up and said - you know what.. we don't care about color SO MUCH that we'll go out of our way to mess with our country!

That is AWESOME on SO MANY LEVELS!

People CARED about Country!

People wanted to make a DIFFERENCE!

People BELIEVED in their ability to make a change!

People broke THROUGH the barriers of color!!!

Ask a black person what this means to them.

I just feel like so many things are possible! I love this.

Captain Taggart!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:29:00 +0000

Oh the golden days of Tagging!!

Well hah!..
with a bit of arm-twisting on Aanchal's part, I am here to fulfill my destiny.
Umm... ok.
heh.

So this is the Tag from her blog thingummijig and here I am opening up a sliver. Oh heck just look at the questions and answers wontcha.

I am: Practically impractical/calm/eroding idealist/cynical about a bunch of things/mathematical/cracking unorthodox.
I think: I need to travel/I Need to climb a mountain/I Need to let loose more.
I know: Today is now. Now is what I have. I shall make a tomorrow.
I want: My belief back.
I have: An idea of what may be right. A willingness to follow it.
I wish: I could teleport!
I hate: Forever promises that can't or won't be kept.
I miss: My family and friends from Delhi!
I fear: Losing a loved one. Making a mistake - even though I keep making them!
I feel: Insecure in clothes with a bad fit!
I hear: the sound of crickets in the night. Ice cubes falling into the ice bucket in my freezer. The hum of the dishwasher. The creaking of the wooden floor. The sound of the wind when it gets trapped between houses. Birds in the morning. My alarm clock clicking just once at 1:30AM each night!
I smell: Curry each time my sister cooks! My feet stink!! COokies baking (again - sister!) Chhole-Chawal made by mum. Jasmine (Chameli) flowers - remind me of when I was a kid. We had a Jasmine tree in the yard which seemed to be in perpetual bloom.
I crave: Travel/Human closeness/talking!
I search: For that very very visible quality in people that allows you to bond... the shining!
I wonder: Does life ever stop feeling like it's just continuously stretching from childhood..and start to feel like discrete separate pieces?
I regret: Things I didn't do. Not saying "I love you" when I could/should have. Not taking the baton when I should have. Still thinking about another person's comfort when infact it was probably my own comfort in not steering through rough waters.
I love: Quite insanely. Possessively. Obsessively. ... though it seems like it might've faded.
I ache: when I know there are those who don't even have enough to eat! When I realize people do not always think the same... and that really does lead to a lot of hurt so many times.
I care: naggingly. Annoyingly. intrusively even! Then I'd act all OK when I'm actually worried and paranoid... and then it'd seem like I don't give a damn. Oh its all so dumb!
I am NOT: always aware. I don't ALWAYS catch on INSTANTLY! People who know me or have known me (not completely entirely) believe I do.. n then when I don't get it.. they think I'm just pretending.
I believe: People are generally good. But life isn't always simple a flat line. And we aren't living by a predefined state-machine.
I dance: for myself.
I sing: LOUDLY! I'm not subtle.
I cry: rarely. But sometimes it's a bad thing not to.
I don't always: take breakfast!
I fight: with mum n dad. With one it's about old vs. new. With the other its about their conclusions on life vs. my experiences.
I write: not always when I'd like to. Somewhere between my mind and my fingers...the conduit goes cold.....
I win: at a bunch of logic arguments - sometimes even when I'm making it up as I go!
I lose: perspective on my own self when I overevaluate somethings.
I never: --BREAK-- I try not to say "never".
I always: breath.
I confuse: songs and singers.
I listen: To new songs, old songs, hindi songs, Japanese songs... a whole bunch of music! Music makes me happy..sad...mad...relaxed.. ,... and makes me miss certain people all the more.
I can usually be found: typing on my laptop. In the gym. At the fussball table.
I am scared: of heights!! (bet you didn't know that!) Of dying alone. Of there ever being zombies!(ok..not that..really!). Of watching loved ones go.
I need: transportation. food. talking person with me!
I am happy about: my family. My friends.
I imagine: Watching my kid/s grow (when/if i have any!)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddddddddd...................

I tag -
ReetaSkeetah
Anvita
EOTR
Sharona

so that's the Tadaahhhhhh!!

and just this morning - driving to work - this song was on the Radio: Loved it.. you should too :)

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

Ohhhh...aint it sweet!

Acid

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:32:00 +0000

Something welled up. Hate.

very very Acidic.

or maybe it wasn't 'hate'
but was something
and it was corrosive.

scalding.. hot... acidic.

hate.

or maybe not

don't know.

Slow dances...

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Fri, 16 May 2008 03:13:00 +0000

The most personal... most vulnerable times...
most soft and slow and sensitive times...
the most wicked..yet innocent...
the most open... and so very... guarded.. scared times..

What all does the middle of the night feel like?
insane.

Like someone just walked in on you... or maybe should.
Or maybe shouldn't ... or maybe I'm all mixed up.

And how would you define the music? The very.. very .. patented.. middle of the night music.
The very exact music that you would just NOT want to listen to because it'll stir your already turnd-to-jelly form, and yet, you do.

It's a different world. An entirely separate universe. This is the time when you're someone else, something else.
Or maybe you are... who you are.
And the thought that's most scary is that someone just might find out!
Somehow you might just let yourself be you.. for a moment.... a night.
Somehow the darkness would be just dark enough for you to shed your act and your glamor.
Somehow you would let show.. just what everything feels like..
Just crawl under a blanket and feel all safe in the warmth.

You know what I do? I cover myself up entirely just so no one can find me.
Very silly.. very. But I can do that.. in the middle of the night.
I can do that and pretend like I'm all hidden.. all tucked away and invisible from all things and forms that might be looking for me in the darkness. Everything that's not there when the lights are on and the sun is up.
Coz if someone or something taps on my shoulder at that time, it's definitely not something I know!

You know what's scary in the middle of the night? mushy songs, and great sweet movies, and sweet talking people, and feel good books.....
they're scary..
they make you think.. dream..
it's a little strange.

I'm a little strange.

A lot actually.

Droplets

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Tue, 13 May 2008 02:34:00 +0000

How many things make you cry?
How? What? When and Why?

Why do they? really... Why should they?
and when they do, do you really cry?
Or do you just smile and suppress..
or think it's just a silly mess.

Do you really let out and let fall? I think not.. not many..not most... not us!
But sometimes you do.. I do... we do..
us.. all.

Sometimes .. just sometimes.. sometimes.. you do embrace the silly..
the soft .. the sad.. the happy.
and sometimes you help it along.
and sometimes you do let out.. and tear up.
sometimes you do cry.

But what you do so many more times.. is laugh.
and laugh.
and laugh more.
And laugh even though it isn't quite that... isn't... what is..
I mean.. you wouldn't laugh then.. but you laugh.

weird choices there.

3 Hours with me.

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:35:00 +0000

Sitting by myself watching episode after episode of Scrubs and almost pausing at each song that plays - well this is not bad for now you see.
How is it that they always get the right songs? And why despite having gigabytes and gigabytes of songs I still have to skip 156 of them on the playlist before I stop on one? Did these guys also play 103892 songs before they actually selected what they wanted on the show?
Listening to those is like easing back into a recliner. The one that perfectly fits and leans back. Not the one I'm NOT sitting on right now!

When you're living by yourself - sometimes it's hard to figure out if life just slowed down or really really sped up. I mean... are you sitting idle, or are you actually really really wrapped up?
So many things to do... so many things being DONE!

You know what I want to do? Pray!
Why? I don't know. I don't.. really.
But hello... maybe I will. You know, I don't really.

The whole god concept kinda throws me off. It's nice to get into it when you could really just put some intangible stuff on something .. someone.. else. You know, tap on the shoulder and say, "Hey... come on man! Hold this for a minute, let's grab a beer."
It's the MIDDLE of the week! Damn sometimes you hate the middle.
Sometimes Wednesdays can be so stupid!

Ok, you're wondering why am I still sitting here! Aren't you? Yes you are!
Here's the thing - I believe I'm onto something. I'm not just sitting here, and I'm definitely not going down.
I am making this happen. And god help me but I'll make it fly.

So now; Question it again and what does it sound like? Am I terrifically busy or just..sitting here?
Well I'm terrifically busy but I took a tea-break. I made tea, and I make TERRIFIC tea!
And I HATE you if you say I don't :oP So just be SAFE and AGREE with me here.
Yes.
Thank you.
I do.

You know what I don't understand? This fetish of the American people with yellow light. I mean, why do they have to have yellow light everywhere in the house? Why not bright white wonderful joyful TUBElights??
YES!
THAT'S what we call them people - TUBELIGHTS !!!!
I mean HELL with "flourescent" lighting. Damnit I can't even spell it right in the first go, and I only left it like that to DEMONSTRATE that I can't even spell it right the first time! But Alright - it is "fluorescent" lighting. But it's white not fluorescent folks.
Well anyway, I like white light. Lots of it too. Makes the place nice and happy.

Oh okay.. here's your cup of tea.
LIKE IT! you better :-P

Simatna

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 01 May 2008 01:33:00 +0000

Simatna...
To collect self.
To gather self.
To wrap self.

How do you make a whole?
Is there a possibility that there just never was a whole to begin with? So what was it that was lost when you scattered? shattered?
Maybe there never was a shattering!
Nothing scattered.

Till not so long ago I used to get home after work... after whatever.. and just sit here.
Sit here alone and think.. or watch the telly... or just nothing.

Now I barely find the time.
Now I barely get to sleep.
And now I'm barely catching up with life... the life.. my life!

Thoughts run so much ahead of the legs. Ideas fly. Imagination soars!!
But I'll be DAMNED if I don't even try!

When they say - The silence pressed into the ears. Never thought it actually is quite literal in how it feels.
It presses in, like active noise cancellation!

Hmm.. interesting.

Work baby..WORK!

YaWwn...

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 20:23:00 +0000

Sitting at work.

literally - sitting at work.

Seems like I'm done for the day here. More work delegated to the morrow.. ha ha.. fun times!

Class...then home.. and more work!
Research!!
Work! Study! WORK!
WORK!
..eat

WORK!!!!

When was the last time I went to bed before 3 in the morn?
hmm...

Walk out. Breath in.
Close my eyes and see a bright white screen with gobbledegook in black imprinted on the insides of my eyelids.
Smile.
More work to look forward to.
Oh Lovely!

Scheduled trips and vacations.

Free.

not in your conventional sense.

but.. Free!

Can step.. walk.. run.. fly.
zoom..shoom...vrrrroooom!

yooodleyyyyy!

Cheers and bananas to you too. Thanks!

:o)

Pretty Woman

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:17:00 +0000

How many times have you seen this movie?
The most ultra-deliciously-amazing woman... Julia Roberts right here.
Right this moment is the scene at the restaurant.. (slippery little suckers.... It happens all the time!)
It's the smile. It HAS to be! It definitely is the smile.

The first time I read about this movie was when I was a kid. Well.. maybe a teenager, I don't quite remember.
It wasn't a review or anything, but more like one of the 10 best movies to watch for the decade or something like that. I didn't get to watch it for the longest time. When I finally did... it wasn't such a big deal for the first time.
It's strange..really..
how some of the most important things don't hit you the first time you come across them.
strange.

Today is probably the 291st time I'm watching it. Each time I watch it, I love it.
It's gorgeous.
Julia Roberts is gorgeous.
The movie is gorgeous!

Each time I see her smile on screen.. I'm grinning like an idiot.

I'll tell you what.. let's veg out for the night.
Veg out?
Yeah.. sit in front of the television.. and watch old movies... veg out.

Oh I'd veg out.

Back from NYC. It's not really the epitome of existance you know. It's just...there.
its a good weekend visit.
It's a party pot.
It's a glass of beer.
Actually...not. I'd go to Boston for beer...or any kinda alcohol for that matter. They do it better I'd say :D

Did I mention just how gorgeous Julia Roberts is as Vivian?
oh and the SMILE!!

Dopamine's Bitch!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:52:00 +0000

It's 10A.M. on a Sunday morning and I'm in New York City. 4 hours of sleep each night, for a whole bunch of nights does not translate to very good mornings, regardless of the place you wake up at. So while the the hangover of last night's drunken revelry may not be enough to make me regret answering the sweet call of alcohol; The sleeplessness definitely gets me knocked off a few paces more.

I am literally just sitting on this bed, typing out this post and listening to the traffic outside. Very comforting in a strange, city-like way. Though it's not quite the same for Delhi. What with all the horns and beeps and sudden braking and skidding and nearly slamming into the bus....

What is it that I'm doing here?
Meeting in less than an hour.
It's a Sunday baby! Let your imagination work for me :)

Chintantalo!!

Aaj ki raat...............hona hai kya..........

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:36:00 +0000

Dunno!

Yesterday was Boston. Got home at 6 this morning.
Moments when I'm glad I'm all grown up and no one has to wake up and unlock the front door for me coz I'm the one with the keys! HAH!

Discovered - 6 buttery nipples are just not enough to get quite so drunk on.
But PEOPLE - DO try a shot of that!
YES SIR!
Ask your friendly neighbourhood bartender for JUST THAT - a Buttery Nipple!
A nice soft caramel coffee taste with a dash of raspberry and a shot somewhere in between :)

Definitely not one of the tastes that rides up your nostrils and urges your brains to get down tonight.

Oh Oh - when you go to Boston - Go to Copley Plaza. Roam the Boylston street, hang out at Fannuell Hall marketplace (Quincy market).
And Do DO DO hit the pubs and bars and the clubs.
If you're loud enough for 4 people - they'll receive you with open arms. Good Morning Boston! :D

What I DO miss is going to Ihop on the way back. HELL.. not ONE friggin Ihop! Not ONE!!!!
burn in HELL people!
A fresh garden omelette , a stack of steaming pancakes with maple syrup... the YUMZINESS of life I tellya!

Just woke up - it's 1:44pm at the East Coast here. Have to get goin again - lunch and dinner at places well kept by others ... HAHAHAHA!!!

But...must..get...back...in...time...
conference...calls....aarrrghh....

heck - that's why god invented cellphones ! :D
GLORY! HALLELUJAH!!!

Shall tell you more as life moves...

say it AGAIN people -
HALLELUJAH!!!

and more Buttery Nipples to everyone - Amen!

:)

I don't feel so good.

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:31:00 +0000

I don't feel so good.

Please understand.

Please

.

Beached

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:18:00 +0000

slow.

very slow.

the soft... slow folding away of life.

inaudible gasps.

a sea of air.

no breath.

the last.

throbs of the heart.

thumps.

pounding.

glazing of the eyes.

the ebbing away of reality.

every song.. every note...

every smile, laughter, kiss...

everything...

shooting past.

smothering hold on a checkered past.

this is the end...

the end...

the end.

Safe!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:19:00 +0000

I want to travel the WORLD!
I want to bungee jump.
I want to climb the Eiffel Tower!!!
Heck...I want to climb a mountain (Everest? yes? no? maybe?!)
I want to backpack through Europe.
I want to visit the north pole.
I want to build a plane.
I want to drive an F1.
I want to fly a fighter plane.
I want to swim the English Channel.
I want to go into outer space.
I want to write a book!

sadly though.. my actual portfolio runs far short. *sigh*

I'm not what you'd call an "adventurous" person. I'm only slightly more uppity than a hard-core 9-to-5, and very very very far below "Alive". I've done my "shell" dance for a long time too.
I suspect I might be a masochist! I don't exactly take pleasure in pain... but more often than not I find myself in painful situations. There must be SOMETHING to it!

I've stayed indoors for SO LONG that the thought of venturing out seems like an expedition (the kind that I don't want to take... coz.. well.. I'm not categorized as adventurous). I have a job which started out as interesting, and stayed that way for sometime, but now I'm here just for a few convenient reasons.

I CRIB!
I crib a lot about the place I'm at. The town, the state, the country, the work, the life... you name it.
I've wanted to finish my basement; Well not entirely... but atleast some parts of it, but I never get started.
Granted that may be a more expensive project than I can afford right now... but how much does even planning actually cost?

Barring a couple of times... I've never actually taken a real trip across anywhere in this country. I'd LOVE to... but when confronted with the actual idea - I more often than not get this glazed.. fearful look in my face that goes like - "how.. How...HOW!?!?!?!" Yes I'm THAT bad.

I live 2 hours away from Boston but I haven't been there in atleast a year.
I live 3 miles from the beach... and I've been there about 3 times in the past 1 year.
I haven't gone swimming in the ocean.
I haven't gone biking.

NYC is 150 miles away. 1 hour driving + 2 hours in the train. I can count on my fingertips how many times I've been there. This amazing girl I love.. lives there.
I sit on my ass here.

Do you hate me yet? I do.

Here's the thing though - I WANT to do all those things... and more.
It's easy to think that I dont.

It's like before I even start... the thought of how it might turn out scares me.
fear of failure? maybe. More like fear of seeing how it ACTUALLY turns out! fear of actually turning the wheels!
I sit here...and cant find ONE good reason as to why it isn't just insanely stupid.

its like one of those feelings... when you get this ...weird feeling... that .. no.. maybe you should hold back. You don't really KNOW why, but it seems like somehow that's the better thing to do.
I don't know what it IS. I'll call it my mental inertia. It's like my subconscious tells my conscious self that it may not be the greatest idea to disturb the safety of the norm... you dont know what's out there!!

True.
I don't know what's out there.
I also don't know what may happen if I go out... or how any particular thing I do might turn out.
But then.. I also don't really get to live. I just get to function.

I didn't want to just function.

why is it so then?
Just being careful? for what? about what? from what?
Not really sure... so just.. everywhere.. for everything...from everything!
Even love! Especially love!!

This girl I love... she has all the reasons to just hate me right now.
Heck I wont be surprised at all ! I'd hate myself!!
She has been such an ANGEL to me. She's stood by me while I waddled through whatever crap I believed I was in. While I struggled with words and meanings. While I tried to make head or tail of togetherness and love. And I hurt her.

I have been a horrible person. A person I'd prolly refuse to recognize if I met myself somewhere.
While she was telling me how she felt.. and while she was being there for me. I was sitting here thinking.. will this last? Is this gonna be it? really? Can I say it? really? really? I mean... really? are you sure?
Not all ... even more strange is - I watched myself do it that way. It's like watching myself hack off an arm.
Not just that... then watching myself hack off the OTHER arm...because it hacked off the first arm.
That just gives you a feeling of.... What the FUCK!?!??? Dude are you INSANE?
Actually.. no.
It prolly just gives you a feeling of just how much of an idiot I am.
This is not insanity.. this is just being one of those characters that you'd see and shake your head and walk away because he's just too dumb and too much of an idiot.

And in all this.. I hurt her.

So now I sit here and ponder over even more things. What do I do and how? Am I bugging her? Am I bugging her MORE now? Am I disturbing her?
Dude what's WRONG WITH YOU???
get a fucking GRIP!

How many times do you apologize before you should start apologizing for apologizing too much?

Yes I know I know...... I'll go to the shrink.

I'll start doing things tomorrow.
Because I sit on my ass too much. I sit on my ass when I should not be sitting on my ass...and should be doing all sorts of things.
I'm such a worry-wart.

I'm sorry and sorry and sorry.
was just thinking about keeping all safe.
it was like barricading life.
I'm sorry about that.. and am changing that now.

thank you love.

Mumblings

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 04:46:00 +0000

I love "Notting Hill".
I'm talking about the movie. I totally adore it. And as much as I love it - I avoid it.
Run away from it... flip the channel...look away.. anything.
And yet
and yet
I'm watching it right this moment.

There is something in all the soft quite manner of the movie.
I think it really DOES make a difference if the characters just whisper throughout the movie. Beer doesn't help either.

That brings me to the second part here -
damnit HOW long has it been since I had a decent drink?! INSANELY LONG!!!!
have MERCY people! I need a designated driver.
give me a DESIGNATED DRIVER!!!!!!!

damnit

Echo...

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:46:00 +0000

Ever had that feeling of wanting to do something... just don't know what..?

Too many times.

Days used to be more precious than what they seem like now. Truth be told... now is probably the time when more trains are being missed... than ever before in my life. And yet... and yet.. not running after any.
Strange.

The calm.

why?

shouldn't be so calm all the time. It's unnatural.

I need expressions.

and I dont mean - those single line quips.

I mean - expressions.. on my face!
raised eyebrows.
half smiles.
look of surprise.
the 'holy shit' face.

stuff like that.

and also .. as Calvin would say -
"I need a soundtrack in my life".

I sure do!

Kuttay... mein tera KHOOON pi jaaunga...!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 07:37:00 +0000

It totally and completely takes a Hindi movie to put life back into you.

aey woh movie dekha? awesome hai dude!
Kya yaar.... nahin? Teri zindagi bekaar hai.

The quintessential beacon of hope. The picture-wire of life.
The indiglo on a moonless night.

That's a 70mm to you.

The life, the zing, the fun, the tragedy, the romance.

And for the non-believers:

Life DOES have song and dance in it. Complete with extras! Nice eh?

Ashes to ....

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:07:00 +0000

A dead blog?
no so much.

A dead page?
A line..a word...

A thought... or thoughts.
A described emotion.
A versed feeling.

A shovel.. a shovel.
From still to a hobble.
From stab to an itch.
From angel to bitch.

Spring cleaning in fall.
From cubicles to hall.
A random Rubik's cube.
Eroding the wall.

Here's a pen... here's a paper.
Let's re-start the caper.

ready or not..
... here I come...

My Achin' Back!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 03:59:00 +0000

OUCH!

and that is what i'll say again.
My whole body is battling me! My physical sense is at war with myself. My legs are kicking my ass and my back is screwing my spine.

Tired I am!

I just helped move a friend.
After carrying the 598th box and rolling off the 294th couch you do begin to feel the pain.

And that I do feel.

OUCH!

The Greatest Drivers In the World...

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Wed, 30 May 2007 04:56:00 +0000

One hundred and sixty miles an hour - that's what the speedometer on my car's dashboard goes upto. The car itself probably wont.

The highest I've gone is a wheel-clenching 120mph. Not a hard hitting figure to most you folk out there, but hey! I'm not THAT young anymore :P Or maybe I'm just taking that excuse at 27.
Do keep into account that I need to get upto that speed before I run out of road. Between any known or probable cop-car-hiding-spots, and between any calculable traffic traps. Considering all that math it's quite a feat actually.

Try this -
accelerate to about a 100mph. Now open the window just a sliver.
The freakin NOISE it makes!!! Holy JESUS!
Ever wonder how the hell do those people in convertibles DRIVE? It's like a damn sledgehammer of wind breaking down on you every moment! More like an electric saw of wind. Hmm...
I think I have unresolved issues... excuse me.

It's a little different on Delhi roads.

I HATE being in the passenger seat (the one beside the driver)! I HATE being there when I'm in Delhi.
Why? WHY?

Because I'd hate to die of a coronary...THAT'S why!

I don't think Gourav will mail me my fingernails that I left sticking deep in the plastic of his car's dashboard (as previously mentioned).

He was driving at 30kmph
30 KILOMETERS PER HOUR!!!!!
and it felt like going a 130!
Well, ofcourse the road was one of the back-alleys in South-Ex (I? II?! ..ahh pheeaaa) with pedestrians positioned at strategic places to step an inch off the track just as the car whizzed past.
Know why Delhiites dont need to wash their cars as often as they might have HAD to - what with the Delhi dust and weather and stuff? Coz they're forever wiping the cars off pedestrians crossing the road... and those not crossing the road. Needless to say the Delhi ottomobeel is always shining.

Seatbelts are definitely optional. You see... who gets hit ..*BAM*!
err...

.

Home

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 17 May 2007 05:04:00 +0000

I took a friend through a certain part of Delhi.

I saw her brow knitted over. Her hands tried to hug each other as she walked through those crowds.

Her steps hesitant.

The camera disappeared into the bag after a few minutes.

The voice subdued, the smile gone.

She was in one of those expressions when one doesn't know if one should say something, not say anything, or even be able to speak for that matter.

The more she furrowed her brows, the more I laughed..rather...sniggered.

See, now I was the clever one... being the knowing one who would ever so calmly explain

"This is the way it is. Everyone isn't suffering! This is how it looks". And all the rest of that bull-feces.

But I look back to that moment and realise, she was just seeing it all for the first time.

She didn't hate it or worry about it. Right off the mark, she didn't even know what to DO about it!

Me? I never knew what to do with it. That's why I'd come to just accept it as it is.

The kids clad in tattered clothing on the side of the street. The old man pulling the rickshaw with what seemed to be the last remnants of energy his body could provide. The dirt, the stench, the cut fruit kept open under the pale gray sky. She wanted to take some by the way. I warded off such ideas with threats of a horrid and painful death preceeded by extreme diarrhea.

What happened to me?

It's MY country! MY people !!

There was pride in the notion that my country is still surviving even through what you see out there...sitting on the road in 40 degrees centigrade. In a shirt probably from the 50's by the aged look of it. Smoking a country made cigarette to kill that 2 day hunger.

Misplaced pride.

This is not how it was supposed to be.

Actually..

This is not how I was supposed to feel.

A delayed pain.

But I feel it brother... I feel it.

Undergoing Mantenance

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 10 May 2007 23:47:00 +0000

Well, not me!
Nor the blog.
It's just my poor laptop.

Wait a week more.. can you?

Thanks :D

P.S. Reety Skeety juz told me there's a spellin error right on top. I agree.

Country Roads...

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 04:46:00 +0000

I've been in this place...this country 4 years. Lots of memories and moments - most of which I'm trying to scrub off to keep my sanity in check (you heard that right.)

This morning I looked in the mirror and decided I'd become a lot more subdued than I cared to be. I wasn't exactly a wild-child, but I wasn't the 'quietly working' kid either. I was the kind who gave sissy excuses to half-heartedly get out of non-academically-inclined rendezvous held rather often by the many different groups I'd been accepted into. But somehow I ended up attending most of them (including the one involving 17 people standing in line to buy Rs.6 tickets outside PVR!! Yes I AM that old :-P )

There were rare moments when I had more than Rs.20 in my pocket! I think it was the canteen fried samosas and chai that took out more than a fair share of that. That was also the time when I could take off with the maruti before dad could utter "Don't..." quite that completely. Ofcourse I'd drive only till the gas tank was about a fifth full, then I'd sweetly take the bus till dad figured that the lesser car needed to be refueled as well. I didn't SAY such things! I didn't 'need' it you see. Coz if I'd 'needed' it - it would become my Achilles' heel. Smart I was!

Three years is time enough to make you hesitate when getting back on those roads...

My first tryst with the poor lil car in Delhi happened right the next day after I landed there. I didn't walk - I swaggered to the car. I've handled cars 25 feet long rolling at 100mph! What's the beeeeeg bloody deal in handling Delhi roads eh?

well... it IS big deal. Listen to me on this and avoid major sufferage.

I left my fingernails sticking out of Gourav's car's dashboard.

Don't get me wrong. Oh DON'T get me wrong AT ALL! Delhi has roads aplenty. Infact Delhi probably has more roads than the rest of the three big Indian metros put together. What I'm DEFINITE about though is that Delhi DOES have more wheels on those roads than ANY three metros put together.

Delhiites have this extreme penchant for getting their OWN wheels on the road! Who cares if gas is Rs.9382 a gallon?! We can do it either of the two ways -

If there are two people, they can each take their own vehicle.

If there are 15 people... we can all fit into one maruti 800.

I once started piling up people in the maruti I was driving till the suspension threatened suicide.

Anyway

I put the key in the ignition, found the transmission stick, and eased the car into first gear.

Manual transmissions are a WORLD of difference away from automatic ones. You also need to be practiced with the "Clutch". I was - I clutched at the wheel REAL HARD as my beloved 4 wheeler started hopping ahead.

I wasn't a Jedi yet!

I ran back into the house screaming!

well..thankfully - no.

It went something like this though -

me: Dad, erm... i think it might be better if... umm... could you drop me to Sainik Farms?

Dad: (suddenly realising I'm standing there and haven't driven off) HUH?!? (ok ok...no need to look so bewildered! I resent that. Hmph!)

me: (miffed now) could you drop me to Sainik farms please? I Don't want an auto-wallah's blood on my hands.

Dad: (Now uncharacteristically laughing out loud) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ... you want ME to drop you? HA HA HA HA you're not driving? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA weren't you gonna be driving?? HA HA HA HA

me: (stern silence... ... ... ...umm... nope...that's not me.)

Dad: (now winding down) HA HA...hah..hhh...*cough* ..hah.. okok.. I'll drop you..

me: (still miffed) thank you.

Dad: But you don't want to drive??? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (here we go again!)

Well... after 15 minutes and much humour (I wasn't a participant in the laughage) dad was steering the said maruti towards the destination, juicily pointing out that the car ran quite alright...

me:(inSISTING) but it BUCKED when I tried to give it gas!

Dad:(puzzled) What's "giving it gas" ?

me: I was trying to accelerate!!!

Dad: (grinning) you need to use the clutch... this is not an automatic. Beta amrika nahin hai yeh.

me: (Thank you very much! I hadn't noticed that since I landed here.. never noticed even when my field of vision was suddenly filled by a couple of million people at once... not sinking in even when I stepped from 10 degrees F to 10 degrees C.) I DID use the clutch! The stupid car is just not in shape.

Dad: (just grinning now...)

me: (Hmph! .. well.. not really)

I finally DID get a chance to try and tame the Delhi-ottomobeel and was even partly successful, though I don't yet have the whole running the red-light thing down pat.

During my life here (Delhi) I figured it wasn't normal practice to always stop at traffic lights. Well if THAT is tuff...just imagine - they even draw a STOP line on the road! HA HA HA HA HA !!! now what's THAT for eh?

I can't imagine people actually applied brakes at red-lights. It was more acceptable to squeeze the clutch and hit the 2nd...then 1st gear..and keep moving.

Beep...Beep.... toot toot toot.....BRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMPPPPP!!!!

That was for the ones blessed with 4 wheels though. Two wheelers weren't required to stop. They usually found that 5mm of space between your car and the next and squeezed right through to the next 3mm gap. They progressed while traffic stalled. More power to the Bajaj's and the Hero Honda's !

This once I found people had given up on the annoying practice of drifting through red-lights altogether! No one bothered to stop. It was like a continuous river of traffic...and I was probably expected to cartwheel my way through if I wanted to cross the road.

That does get the blood flowing... and the official speed limit of 50kmph ... WooooF! Watchout!!

Oye auto!!

noreply@blogger.com (Eastmancolour) — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 06:31:00 +0000

Well now that the tax-man is counting money I can focus my attention back here (since by now there's hardly anything I'm left with to count!) It wasn't always like this. There was a time when I didn't HAVE to pay taxes! Well, that's when I didn't HAVE to earn money. That's because my folks pampered me silly. Oh home is such a lovely place!
....sigh...

Some elements of Delhi go beyond the senses and stick to your Hippocampus (nope, not a place for portly gents!) Ready images include - Blue Line buses, millions of people, marutis and
santros, generally gray skies, and the noise! It's not the 'sudden bursts' or 'isolated area' kinda noise. It's the general volume of the place that makes you talk about 15 dB louder than you normally would. Half the decibelia contributed by bus-conductors and auto-wallahs.

me: haan bhaiyya.. Ansal Plaza ... kitna logay?
auto-wallah: (5 minutes of thoughtful silence) tees rupiya.
me: (appropriately taken aback) oh hello! tees? meter se chal.
auto-wallah: (irritatingly indifferent) meter kharaab hai.
me: (imagining self to be in control...but soon realizing improbability of suggestion) chal 15 lagte hain!
auto-wallah: (now fully in Delhi-style victim-of-haggling face) na.. yeh to bahot kam hai.
me: arrey yaar aur kitna lega?! (now the balls gonna bounce from court to court.)
auto-wallah: (final auto-card) accha chalo baitho (no clarification on fare.)
me: Arrey par fir kitna logay?
auto-wallah: (now smiling - haha...i got you now!) jo ichcha ho de dena.
me: (me taking theoritical, but completely stalemate approach) arrey yaar aise thode hi hota hai. Mein to fir kahunga 10 rupye mein chal! (it's useless...trust me).
auto-wallah: (all smiles and everything. Hmm.. the "i'm your friend only na" expression) itna kaise ho sakta hai. Chalo, pacchees de dena! (Wah Wah! Rs.5 OFF!!)
me: (smiling back - "I'm also your friend na" expression here) yaar kam se kam 20 to kar!
auto-wallah: (smiling pause - trying to make me feel guilty...I wont budge!!) chalo baitho...
me: (HA HA ! Victory!! ... I sit in the auto...and try to make small talk to shove off the slight tinge of guilt now)

We get to the destination...and I hand him Rs.25. The SOB fleeced me after all! Well.. you win some ...umm.. nahhhh, not really!

Bus conductors use a simpler language.

bus-conductor: safdarjung, TDA, Munirka, RK Puram, Patel Nagar, chalo chalo chalo chalo chalo...
someone: Okhla jaayegi?
bus-conductor: baith jaao.
someone else: Janakpuri jaayegi bhaiyya?
bus-conductor: baitho baitho.
me: England jaayegi bhai?
bus-conductor: aao aao...

Unlike some other big cities that lie along the coast, Delhi has had the privilege of being able to grow! and GROWN it HAS! Roads are aplenty, and that's how Delhi can afford all those Blue lines and DTC's and autos and a gazillion other vehicles and still have space enough for me
to squeeze in mine! Pedestrians usually find the space between vehicles, parked or otherwise.

After a day traversing Delhi roads you'll wonder why shouldn't Delhiite's be brilliant soccer players! Some of the best moments are recorded dodging traffic, tackling transport, dashing after buses... even exchanging nursery rhymes with auto-wallahs (the very same). They have the playground and the practice! But..no.

It's a adventure and a half... and then some more.

But yeah...DO try to stay alive please, and look to BOTH ends of the road...and then one more time!

cheers :-D