The FABULOUS Blog of Miss Ginger Grant!

Stained Glass Bottles and Jars

2013-05-19T19:48:00.000-05:00

Here's an easy, fun way to keep glass bottles and jars out of the waste cycle that requires no specialized equipment or skills- just an artistic eye and a few bottles of inexpensive paint! It's so safe and easy even a kid can do it, but adult artists will also enjoy the ability to recreate "old world" techniques with modern, water-based products!

Gallery Glass paints are one of those "sleeper" products that sort of "undersells" itself on the shelf at the craft store, with a lot of the example creations looking sort of juvenile and "crafty". Miss Ginger's taste is a bit more "traditional", so she prefers to use the products to reproduce the look of stained glass, but it just underscores the fact that this craft has something for everyone!

What most of us think of as "stained glass" is actually "leaded" glass; thousands of pieces of colored glass, cut into sort of a mosaic, and pieced together with flux and solder. Beautiful, long-lasting, and expensive, real leaded glass is hard to come by these days. The work is tedious, somewhat dangerous (hot soldering irons, sharp glass, and molten metal!) and requires a lot of patience, practice, and trial and error!

These products give the look of leaded glass with no lead, no heat, and no sharp edges! The secret to the most traditional-looking results are the Redi-lead® strips that provide the look of soldered lead from a self-adhesive vinyl product! The flexible "lead" lines peel off the backing paper with their adhesive intact, ready to smooth onto any glass surface. Easily cut to length with an Xacto® knife, the strips provide a consistent width and depth, similar to the lead wire that would have been used in days of old- but without that pesky problem of lead poisoning- not to mention the hassle of soldering! With a paper pattern under the glass, it's easy to follow along the lines and curves from the outside to create the "seams" between your "pieces of glass"!

Liquid Leading® provides the look of soldered joints, without the hassle of a soldering iron and the danger of lead solder. With the consistency of thick black paint, it's easy to dab Liquid Leading® onto butt joints to create the sections that you will paint to mimic colored glass.

Once the leading is in place and the "solder" has dried, it's time to apply the color to the pattern pieces to finish your project. You don't even need a paintbrush! The bottle has a sharp tip that allows you to flow the product right up against the lead lines, and then quickly flow enough paint across the surface to create a solid section.

The color goes on opaque but dries to a translucent finish, with a wavy texture that mimics old-fashioned stained glass. Keep the surface horizontal until the paint has set, to keep it from flowing to the bottom of your shape. On a round jar or bottle like this, you will have to apply the color in 4 "strips", rotating the bottle after each strip to bring the next area to the top. Although the color dries to the touch in a few hours, it doesn't "set" for several days, so as you move from one section to the next, you will need to devise a way to "hang" your project so you can work on a section while the previous sections cure. If you set it down on an uncured section, it will stick, and you will have a mess on your hands!

A rod or dowel wedged into a drawer provides a stable way to apply color to the top of your project without ruining the bottom. You will have to let one side dry for a few hours before you can turn it upside down, but that's better than waiting three days for it to cure completely!

Once all your colors are applied, you're done! Here's the pickle jar you saw earlier. With it's lid sprayed green, it makes a beautiful storage jar with a "Craftsman" feel to it. Or, leave the lid off and it can be a period-sensitive candle holder!

Miss Ginger's first project was these Modrian-inspired spaghetti sauce jars. Instead of using leading, she used masking tape to tape off the sections, then sprayed matte black spraypaint over the whole thing. When she peeled off the tape, she was left with clear windows. In authentic Modrian style, she left many of the sections clear, and colored only few. Maybe not museum-worthy, but quick, cheap, and easy- just like Miss Ginger!

The next project was these wine bottles decorated with an oval-cut jewel pattern. Here, she used black vinyl in her Silhouette® machine to create the pattern, hence the more modern appearance. The only problem she found with this technique is that there isn't much depth to the sections, so the paint went on kind of thin. She's going to fill them with blue Listerine® and put one in each bathroom, so it won't matter if the pattern is kind of weak!

As she prepared to complete the "fully-leaded" project you see at the top of this post, she realized that the colors dry to a very different hue than the way they appear in the bottle, so she made herself a "swatch bottle" to show how each color looks when dry.

The paints cost less than $2.50 a bottle at Michael's; less when you buy a set. The bottles you paint are free, so what's stopping you?! Leave a comment and let Miss Ginger know how your project turned out!

Consumer Product Review- Janome 300E Embroidery Machine, pt. II.

2013-05-07T22:37:00.001-05:00

After a year of using the Janome 300E Embroidery machine, Miss Ginger is ready to give you her Consumer Product Review® on this miracle machine! She will share what she knows, what she doesn't know, and what she is still trying to figure out- so pour yourself a glass of wine, honey, 'cause she has a lot coming at you!

First, let her say that the Janome machine is not unique- there are many embroidery machines on the market, and at least 2 are simply repackaged versions of the Janome. While Elna and Bernina both make exquisite sewing machines in Switzerland, they leave the manufacture of their embroidery-only machines to the electronic geniuses in Japan. The Elna 8300 and the Bernette 340 Deco are essentially the same machine as the Janome, and are built in the same factory; the differences are cosmetic and electronic, but the mechanics are all pretty much the same. They all connect the hoop to a post at the back of the machine, which can be seen in the Bernette image below.

Janome

Bernette/Bernina

Elna

The other set of brandmates you will find are manufactured by Brother, and include their nameplate, plus Necchi and BabyLock. They can be recognized by the bar that runs from the front to the back of the machine.

BabyLock

Necchi

The top-of-the-line embroidery/sewing combo machines are typically made in any given brand's factories, but these embroidery-only machines are all manufactured in Japan. Other than cosmetic differences, the various brands will be programmed to use their brand-specific file type, and may have a proprietary hooping configuration, as well.

So, back to the Janome! One of the first variables one wants to consider when choosing an embroidery machine is the embroidery size. The Janome 300E offers a 5.5" by 7.9" embroidery field. While this is not the largest embroidery field available, it is pretty large for a machine at this price. Please note the "hoop size" and "embroidery size" is not the same. You can buy a "mega-hoop" for this machine, and many others, but the embroidery capacity of the machine does not change. "Mega" hoops allow you to combine designs, or pieces of designs, without re-hooping, so a larger design can be created with perfect alignment.

The Janome comes with 100 designs built in to the machine, a menagerie of floral baskets, teddy bears, and other inane designs. Built-in designs should really be your last consideration when choosing a machine, because you can download millions of designs from the internet, at a cost of anywhere from free to about 20 bucks. Most designs Miss Ginger has downloaded have cost about $6-7.

The machine is designed to take PC cards, and Janome offers a number of pre-programmed cards for purchase.

Since PC cards have pretty much gone the way of the floppy disc, they also offer a PC card adapter, that allows you to use a Compact Flash card to carry designs downloaded from the internet from your PC to your machine. Compact Flash memory is cheap, so you can maintain your files on CF memory and load them into the machine when you need them. The machine also has a built-in memory, so your most often used designed can be stored directly on the machine to be called up whenever you need them. BTW, PC card adapters are commonplace; you don't need one specific to this machine. PC card adapters are available anywhere office supplies are sold.

This machine has 3 on-board fonts that can be used to create 2 and 3 letter monograms without a computer, but with your PC card and the appropriate software, you can create monograms from any TrueType font installed on your PC.

Embroidery thread for these machines is made by several different companies, and each one has it's own numbering scheme to define the colors. The Janome machine allows you to select among the most common thread brands, and will prompt you with the brand-specific thread number when it's time to change the thread.

There are a number of convenient features built into the Janome that allow it to do some image manipulation without a computer. It can flip designs horizontally and vertically, as well as rotate them 360 degrees, in 45 degree increments. Designs can be resized from 90 percent to 120 percent right on the screen, and you can move designs on the screen to change their relative position within the hoop.

The hoops come with drop-in templates to help you place your design on the fabric, and once the machine is set up, you can have it trace the design area within the hoop to ensure your design fits within the bounds of your project.

One worthwhile accessory that is only available for the Janome, as best as Miss G can tell, the the Janome Clothsetter. This simple, yet unique device, allows you to ensure your embroidery design with appear exactly where you want it on the fabric.

The Janome hoop connects to the Clothsetter the same way it connects to the machine.

With the bottom of the hoop attached to the Clothsetter, the stabilizer and fabric are set on top, the top of the hoop is laid in place, and the arm of the Clothsetter is lowered. Align the crosshairs on the Clothsetter with the centerpoint on your fabric, press the top of the hoop into place, and you are guaranteed perfect alignment. This accessory alone would lead me to choose a Janome machine above all others!

The stitch quality of the Janome machine is exquisite... it creates a beautiful satin stitch, a consistent running stitch, and perfect pattern replication, time after time.

The control panel shows the time left to stitch out, the color progression, hoop size, and machine condition. In the rare case of a thread break, or the more common occurrence of bobbin depletion, the machine allows you to back up the design in 10 stitch increments, to restitch an pattern areas that were not completely stitched.

Miss Ginger has completed quite a few projects using the machine, the most recent of which was to create "coordinated" sheets to accompany a duvet she bought on clearance, with no matching sheets available!

The Janome 300E gets Miss Ginger's coveted 5 lipsticks!!

For the money, this machine is a knockout!!

Consumer Product Review: Janome 300E Embroidery Machine Pt. I

2013-05-07T21:00:00.000-05:00

It's almost here: Miss Ginger's Consumer Product Review on the Janome 300E embroidery machine she bought last summer. She's worked with it for about a year now, so she's ready to share what she knows about this machine, and embroidery machines in general.

If you're thinking "I don't sew" but the idea of embroidering garments and linens intrigues you, you're in luck. You really don't have to know how to "sew" in the sense of cutting patterns, constructing garments, inserting zippers, etc, to embroider beautiful things for yourself or as gifts. Think of it more like a "printer" that uses thread instead of ink, because that's really a better description!

So many people tell Miss Ginger: "I have a sewing machine... I should really use it more" or "I want to buy a machine and learn to sew", and Miss Ginger tells them "what are you waiting for?!" And Miss Ginger shudders when someone tells her "I have a machine... I think it embroiders...." Quelle dommage! You already have one of these miracle machines in your house and you're not using it?! Tsk, tsk.

Let's start by talking about machine embroidery in general, and then I will give you details of my experience with my specific Janome machine in a subsequent post. Embroidery machines use a computer program, generally called a design file, to move the needle and manipulate the fabric to create a pattern of stitches. Commercial machines use multiple threads and are complicated, noisy, and expensive. Embroidery machines designed for home use typically sew one color at a time, and the user changes the thread color when prompted by the machine. You can buy machines that sew and embroider, which might be a great choice if you don't already have a sewing machine, or you can buy a machine like my Janome, that only embroiders; to sew seams and construct garments you need a separate machine. Because embroidery machines do much of their work untouched by human hands, you can actually construct a garment on your sewing machine while your embroidery machine embellishes other pieces, so having both can be a time saver if you sew a lot. A few machines are actually convertible, meaning that you can purchase an embroidery module to add to your machine.

The basic functio nality is the same across all embroidery and sewing machines. They both have a needle, thread, and bobbin to create the stitches. An embroidery machine eliminates the feed dog that pull the fabric through a regular machine, and replaces it with an embroidery module that holds the fabric in a hoop and can move it in a vertical and horizontal axis. The design file controls the motion of the needle and fabric, placing each stitch in perfect alignment to create the pattern.

The design files are what make these machines come to life. Most machines have some number of designs built-in to the machine, which can be selected right from the controls. The true versatility, however, comes from the ability to use files from other sources. These machines are computers, and like computers, their technology moves fast. Originally, embroidery machines used floppy discs, CD ROM's, or PC cards that were purchased for specific machines, and preloaded with specific collections of designs. You owned a library of discs that contained your files. Nowadays, we can download files from the internet to our home PC, and use a USB drive or memory card to transfer the design to the machine. The most modern machines can now read files directly from your laptop, eliminating the file transfer step. Miss Ginger assumes that the next wave of technology will be Wifi enabled machines that bypass the computer and download files directly from the internet!

Each brand of machine uses a proprietary file type, which means the same design files are not compatible across multiple brands of machines; if you bought a PC Card or CD ROM of files for a Janome machine, they would not work on, say, a Brother machine. At one point there may have been competition among brands as to who had the most extensive assortment of designs, or the highest quality designs, but now we download designs directly from the internet, and can choose the file type required for our machine. There is also software available to convert files from one format to another.

Speaking of software, let's talk about that for a minute, because that subject can be pretty overwhelming. Each brand of machine offers a variety of software packages, and the price tag for all of them can add up really fast! While the software packages sold by Janome, Bernina, Brother, and other machine makers may offer features that work across all formats, they a really designed to be machine specific. There are also software packages available that are not tied to a specific manufacturer, and these often offer more versatility and better value. Both proprietary and non-proprietary software packages are usually sold in "modules" or "plug-ins", so you can buy only the features you will use, and those features will interact seamlessly.

So, what software do you need? Depending on the features of your machine, and your desire for customization, you may not need any software at all. If all you plan to do is download designs off of the internet and use them "as is", you don't need any software. Most people, however, will want at least some of the features these packages offer.

A basic "File Manager" program will let you organize and open files, rename them, group them, etc. The file manager program will generally allow you to print templates of the final design that will aid you in placing your work correctly on the fabric. It also allows you to print thread lists (handy when you're heading out to buy thread). File manager programs may allow some design modifications, such as flipping or rotating the entire image, but to actually "open up the hood" and change anything within the design, you will need "Editing" software. The file manager will call up the editing plug-in, if you've installed it, any time you want to take out a part of the design, resize it, combine or split designs, etc. Some programs combine the file manager and editing modules as on package so you don't have to buy them separately. "Monogramming" software makes simple work of creating custom monograms in any size within the constraints of your machine, using TrueType fonts loaded on your computer, as well as fonts included in the package. Some machines do basic monograms in limited sizes through on-board controls, but monogramming software gives you total versatility.

If you REALLY want to get into embroidery, you may want "digitizing" software to convert drawings, clip art, etc. into embroidery files. The advertisements make it seems easy; the instruction books reveal that it's not. Digitizing software has a lot of features and "moving parts", so even a computer whiz will need to set aside the time to work through some tutorials if they seriously want to learn to digitize. "Ain't got time fo' dat?" There are services online that will take a file you supply, digitize it, and send it back to you, for a fee, of course. Given the price of the software, and the time it takes to learn it, this may be your best option unless you really intend to get into it!

If you want to turn cheap towels from the wholesale club into great gifts for any holiday,

finish a quilt fast and easy, with computer precision,

monograms everything you touch, to give as gifts or label as your own,

or create one of a kind garments, gifts, decorative accessories, and more, an embroidery machine will help you accomplish it in record time with professional looking results.

Stay tuned for my next post, which will include tips, tricks, and a lot more detail about the Janome 300E!

Select a Set of Perfect Sheets!

2013-05-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

With all the time Miss Ginger spends in bed, she knows the importance of quality bed coverings! After years in the retail sector, she's got some hints and tips for finding a great set of sheets that won't break the bank!

While people tend to get mired down in thread counts and dimensions, the first consideration in choosing a luxurious sheet is the fiber. While "linens" is the term historically used to mean bed sheets, most sheets today are cotton. Linen sheets maintain a crisp, cool feel between washings, but are incredibly expensive, required detailed ironing after washing, and may be a little more "crisp" than most of us would enjoy. Conversely, silk has a soft, smooth, almost slick feel, and is lightweight and durable. Silk contains cellular albumen, and some believe that it promotes younger looking skin. Because of it's expense and delicate nature, silk is not a practical choice for most American homes. You are not likely to find linen or silk sheets at your local department or specialty stores, but they are available online.

Cotton, poly-cotton, and rayon-cotton blends are commonly available and come in a wide range of colors and thread counts. The most important consideration in choosing a cotton sheet is the type of cotton. Traditional American cotton is a short staple cotton, meaning the individual fibers are shorter than Egyptian cotton, the original long staple fiber. Longer fibers, created by nature through a cadence of moisture and temperature fluctuations during the growing season, give the final fabric a smoother hand and greater durability. Of course, good ole American ingenuity has created strains of long staple cotton that can be grown right here in the US of A, so you can't rely on country of origin labels alone. "Egyptian Cotton" is grown in Egypt, and, due to the climate there, will always be of high quality. You can find sheets made of long staple cotton grown outside of Egypt, and it will typically be labelled "pima", "Supima®", or "long staple cotton".

You still with me? Now that you have chosen a fiber (long staple cotton, remember?) it's time to choose a fabric. (Home Ec 101: fabrics are made of fiber. Fiber is the raw material, fabric is the finished product.) Most commonly in American stores you will find percale, sateen, and damask, specifically damask stripe, which is an alternation of a sateen weave. Confused? Don't be, as these terms are not super important. Percale is typically a bit "crisper" than sateen, for those who like a more linen-like sleeping experience. Sateen is a bit "softer", for those who like the feel of silk and the practicality of cotton. 80% of the sheets you see in a store will be sateen.

Now... lets talk about the ubiquitous thread count... it will be emblazoned all over the package! Woven from Egyptian or pima cotton, any thread count from about 400 and higher will feel much the same, although logic might say that the higher thread count would wear better. In a percale, a higher thread count would give a somewhat smoother feel, more like a sateen. And in a sateen, a higher thread count makes the fabric feel more like silk.

So, now that you are totally confused, should you buy a set, or individual sheets and cases? Were you really expecting an easy answer to that?

Sheet sets are often promotional in nature, meaning they can represent a great value... emphasis on the word "can". They can also be a loss-leader, bait and switch way to get you to make an impulsive purchase, so caveat emptor! Keep what you know in mind, and make an informed decision!

If cost were no object, I would always buy 800 thread count Egyptian Cotton "Hotel Collection" sheets from Macy's. They are luxurious, long-wearing, and look great right out of the dryer. At retail, they cost about $800 a set for a king size bed with 4 pillows. At 25% off they are still about $600 a set, and if you can catch them on sale, with a coupon, you can get them for about $540. They are the "gold standard" for sheets, IMHO.

The other great advantages to buying sheets individually vs. as a set are two-fold. All sheets are packaged with a number of fillers and additives to make them feel great at the store. If you are considering an expensive line, it might be a good idea to buy a set of pillowcases, take them home and launder them, and then sleep on them for a night or two to see if you want a whole bed made of that.... and it's always great to have a couple of spare pillowcases around, anyway. The other good reason to buy "open stock" is that it tends to be available in the store for a much longer time than promotional sets, so if bleach damage and pillowcase loss is a common occurrence in your household, you can replace only the pieces you need to complete the set.

If $800 for a set of sheets is a bit rich for your blood, sheet sets can provide a real value, if they meet your needs. Sets are promotional, which means a store will "stack them deep and sell them cheap" for a specific sale event, and when they are sold out, they are gone. There is no replacing individual pieces after an unexpected bleach accident, but they can be a great deal if they are made of a long staple cotton, fit your bed (especially if you have a deep mattress) and come in a color that works with your room.

One of the best values Miss Ginger has found is a 600 TC Egyptian Cotton sateen extended set (it has 4 pillowcases!) for $70 bucks or so. While the brand name and the stitching detail may vary by store, she has found this same general offer at Sam's Club, Costco, and Tuesday Morning. She's even found them at Macy's, and though the ticket price may be a bit higher, with a sale and a coupon they can actually get at low as fifty bucks and some change.

Miss Ginger may not be able to change the quality of your life, but she may be able to upgrade the quality of your sheets.... and if you are handsome and rich, she might be able to enhance the quality of what's between them! You know where to find her... in the comments section, below!!!

Between the Sheets!

2013-05-02T21:33:00.000-05:00

Miss Ginger spends a lot of time between the sheets... and she's not ashamed to admit it! Unfortunately, she spends most of that time sleeping, and the rest snuggling with Princess Shelby, so get your minds out of the gutter!!

Momma Ginger was a fanatic about sheets,so Miss Ginger learned a lot about them from her. Momma G once told her "Ginger dear, you probably won't grow up to be much of a looker, so you'd better learn to keep a spotless house if you ever want a man!" Well, jokes on her- 'cause I'm a knockout, I don't WANT a man, and my house is immaculate!

Momma G was a white sheet gal- only white sheets, always washed in bleach. 5 boys at different stages of puberty... bleachability was a high priority for her! Miss Ginger, not so much! But she and Shelby appreciate the sanctity of "clean sheet night", and look forward to it every week!

One of the best things Momma G taught Miss Ginger is how to fold a fitted sheet. Can you do it? Let's see if you are doing it right! (Sidenote: do you know how hard it is to fold a sheet and take pictures of yourself doing it?!) Anyho, you start with a mess like this, fresh out of the dryer ("Don't let them sit in the dryer", says Momma G. "If you do, you'll never get those wrinkles out!"

Now, here's the fun part: locate one corner, and hang the sheet over your left fist by that corner, like this:

Now, follow the edge of the sheet down from your fist to the next corner. Put your right fist on the outside of that corner, and turn it inside-out as you bring your hands together. Once it is inside out, nest it inside the first corner. Do this 2 more times, and if you do it right, it will look like this:

Now I'm going to lay it out on the dining room table so I can take pictures. You may be able to do this part without laying it out, but really, it's so much easier to lay it on the bed or a table at this point....

Now, take the edge closest to you, and fold it up, lining up the straight edge on the right side (and concealing the messy left side within the fold!) Now, grab the far side and flip it over, placing the folded edge away from you. This brings this squarest side to the bottom.

Smooth everything out as best you can (no need to be OCD at this point) and fold it toward the middle, in thirds.

Fold the right third over the other two, making a nice, neat package.

Fold it one more time away from you, and you're done! Nice and neat, ready to stack in your linen closet!

I've got lots more "sheet shit" coming your way, so stay tuned!

A Gig!!!

2013-04-20T20:40:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since Miss Ginger Grant has been out in the community, shagging for donations a dollar at a time, but that's about to change! Derby Day 2013 is the 6th time Miss Ginger will have hosted the event, and it just gets bigger and bigger- sort of like her hats!

She's already starting on this year's monstrosity, and she hopes you have, too! Derby Day is Houston's ORIGINAL Hat Party, and this year promises to be bigger and better than ever! Come on down to EJ's May 4th to support Legacy Community Health Services and celebrate Derby Day, "Ginger Style!"

Fleur-de-lis Wind Chime

2013-04-20T19:02:00.000-05:00

Fleur-de-lis patterns have been all the rage since hurricane Katrina, but in fact, fleur-de-lis have been used in Louisiana for ages as a representation of the state's French heritage. Miss Ginger has always loved fleur-de-lis, and finds the motif to be remarkably gender-neutral, making them great for adorning gifts and decorations for everyone. Here's a beautiful adaptation of her wind chime using this recherché symbol of rebirth.

For this project Miss Ginger used 3 bottles. One was the "magnum" size she usually buys for parties, and the other 2 were regular wine bottles, with different shapes to add interest.

She used her Silhouette Cameo machine and its Studio software to create the stencils of self-stick vinyl. If you've thought about buying a cutting machine, this is the one to get! Rather than having to buy cartridge after cartridge to collect the shapes you want, the Silhouette Store allows you to download only the ones you need, right from your computer! Miss G downloaded the flour-de-lis pattern, resized and duplicated to meet her needs, and cut the stencils in just a few minutes.

One the stencils were applied, Miss Ginger used Armor Etch cream to etch the pattern. You could also etch them with a diamond burr or sandblaster, but the etching cream is fast, easy, and permanent.

After finding a cork to fit each bottle, Miss G added a screw eye to each end, covering the threads with a waterproof glue to ensure it doesn't work loose in the wind. Starting with the largest bottle at the top, she used lengths of clock chain from Lowe's to connect the layers. For the wind catcher, she used a 4" square of thin board turned to make a diamond, and stenciled a fleur on both sides with white paint.

Beach Glass Candleholder

2013-03-16T12:09:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick and cheap way to make a beautiful candleholder to show off your beach glass collection! You could also use glass marbles or other translucent collectibles, as long at they are fireproof!

You'll need two clear glass bottles or jars, one about twice the diameter of the other, and both of similar height. Miss Ginger used two wine bottles (of course!), a magnum and a standard 750 bottle. She cut the tops off of both, making the smaller bottle just a tad shorter so they would be the same height with the smaller bottle inside the larger one.

Use a drop of epoxy to glue the bottom of the smaller bottle to the larger one, making sure to center it carefully, leaving about 1/2" gap between the bottles all around.

Once the epoxy sets, start dropping the beach glass in between the 2 bottles, alternating smaller and larger pieces. You can make it all multicolored, or a single color, or layer the colors- it's art! Let your imagination run wild!

Once complete, drop in a candle, and you'll have a beachside fire to enjoy, right in the comfort of your living room!

Homemade "Beach Glass"

2013-03-16T11:52:00.000-05:00

Perhaps Mother Nature's original "up cycle", beach glass is the result of water, sand, and friction on discarded bottles and jars, creating a beautiful, gem-like nugget that is often collected by jewelers, crafters, and lovers of the sea. The Pisces in Miss Ginger makes her adore all things oceanic, and beach glass is no exception.

It takes Mother Nature years to grind glass down into choice nuggets, and she disperses them so expertly that finding them is not so easy. Miss G is not a big fan of sand in her swimsuit, so she avoids the beach like the plague. In her mind, swimsuits should be worn for competition only!

No, not that kind of competition!

This is the kind of competition that would get Miss Ginger into a swimsuit... but don't you love the way she worked in that shirtless picture of Michael Phelps?!

ANYWAY, you can create your own beach glass, right at home, with very little effort and not much investment!

You will need a rock tumbler, and you may even have one in your attic and garage from when you were a kid. You can get dinky little toy ones at a craft store, but you can buy a substantial one like this for about the same price at Harbor Freight Tools. $40 bucks will get you going, and the only other things you'll need are glass shards, coarse garden sand, and a little water.

Miss Ginger saves all the broken pieces from her failed attempts at other projects, and picks out the most interesting shapes and colors to load into the tumbler. She puts about an inch of sand in the bottom of the barrel, fills it about halfway up with glass shards, and then adds just enough water to cover the glass. You want to leave enough room for it to slosh around. Screw the lid on tight, set it on the base, turn it on, and come back in 3-4 days. It's that easy!

After about 3 days, stop the tumbler and pull out a piece or two to see if they are "beachy" enough. If they aren't, just put the lid back on and let them keep tumbling for a day or two more. If they are, use an old colander to drain and rinse the pieces completely. Do this in the yard, with a garden hose. Whatever you do, DO NOT put the used sand or resulting slurry in the drain! Trust me on this- if you do, you will end up with a clog in your sewer line (sometimes a year or two down the road) that will take excavation to fix!

For your patience, you will be rewarded with smooth, translucent pieces with rounded edges. Nature's beauty, in less than a week- and no sand in your ass, either!!

Upcycled Bottle Chandelier

2013-03-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, maybe "chandelier" is a bit grand, considering that nothing really dangles, but "Upcycled Sculptural Light Fixture" seemed like an awkward title...

Anyho, Miss Ginger is pretty proud of this one! She's had the idea rattling around in her mind for a while, and finally had the holy trinity of idea, materials, and time come together.

It's easy to find a million ways to upcyle the bottoms of glass bottles, as they can be turned into all sorts of glasses, candleholders, or other vessels. The tops, however, are more problematic. Miss Ginger saved them at first simply because she was determined to keep them out of the waste stream, but she initially had no idea what to do with them. The world only needs so many wind chimes. After making plethora of glasses and candleholders, the suckers were beginning to pile up!

The trick to this upcycle is getting the correct adhesive. Glass is slick and non-porous, so sticking it together can be tricky. Not only does the adhesive have to hold the glass pieces together, invisibly, it also has to hold them solidly enough to support the weight of the structure. Glass is heavy! Superglue, hot glue, white glue, construction adhesive- all fail on some part of the test or another.

Epoxy is the only adhesive that will successfully adhere glass and support it's weight. Most epoxies are a pain in the ass to use, as they require mixing in just the right proportions. Loctite Instant Mix 5-minute Epoxy is the perfect combination of strength and open time for this project, and is readily available at Lowes or Home Depot. Plus, it comes with a self-mixing syringe thingy that dispenses the adhesive and the hardener in just the right proportions! And, it dries to a transparent "yellowish clear" that totally disappears on green bottles!

Because glass is so slick, even epoxy can't reliably stick to the smooth surface. To solve that problem, Miss G used a rotary tool with a diamond burr to scuff up the glass everywhere there was a joint.

The first "layer" was pretty straightforward, with a healthy dab of epoxy at each side joint, and again where the necks touched. The epoxy dries to full strength overnight, but it only takes about 20 minutes for it to harden solidly enough to continue with the next layer.

Adding the subsequent layers was only a little bit tricky due to the angles of the bottles. Miss Ginger used a Sharpie to mark the points where the bottles touched, dry fitting, marking, scuffing, and gluing each bottle one at a time. It sounds tedious but it really went quickly.

As the angle became steeper on the 3rd and 4th layers, Miss G used clamps to hold the bottles in place until the epoxy had set enough to hold on its own. After 4 layers were glued up in this manner, Miss Ginger let the epoxy set overnight before she tried to move or turn the structure.

The next day, Miss Ginger flipped the entire thing over and added one last layer to the other side of the initial layer. This will form the top of the fixture, so she added a chain circle around the neck of every 4th bottle, to distribute the weight when the fixture hangs. She wanted to use the fixture outdoors, so she bought a weatherproof floodlamp holder and used binder rings to center it on the chain, just above the bottles, so the light would catch the neck of the bottles as it shines down.

Around this, she added a glass tile to conceal the "inner workings".

Miss Ginger is a strong girl, but she needed help to hoist this sucker into position- it weighs a ton, and it's awkward to hold. If you use it indoors, you will need to make sure to hang it from a large eye-bolt screwed directly into a ceiling joist. Outdoors, just loop a chain around a strong tree-branch, or hang it from an eave or soffit.

Miss Ginger loves it so much she's going to make another so she'll have a pair!

Glass Bottle Windchimes

2013-03-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick and easy project that makes use of some of the bottle parts you may have laying around from other old projects! You'll need 3 sizes of bottle tops and a bottle bottom (this is a magnum, a standard wine bottle, and a beer bottle. Don't judge!) You'll also need a length of clock chain or other lightweight chain, a large washer, and some cotter pins- all available in the hardware aisle at Lowe's.

Using a diamond hole saw on a dremel tool, drill holes through the neck of each bottle near the end. It sounds intimidating, but drilling with one of these little bits is quick and easy- just remember to use the cutting oil that comes with the bit to preserve it's life.

Make the clapper for the smallest bottle by replacing a link of the chain with a large washer. It's easy to open and close the links of chains with a couple of pairs of pliers.

Pass the chain through the neck of the smallest bottle, leaving enough chain on each side to center the washer in the middle of the bottle without touching the sides. Insert a large cotter pin through the bottle and the chain, coming out of on the other side of the bottle. use pliers to turn the legs of the pin back, and clip them close to the bottle.

Add the next 2 bottles in the same fashion, omitting the washer, since the bottles themselves will form the clappers. Add the bottle bottom to the bottom of the chain to catch the wind; if breezes in your area are light, replace the bottle bottom with a diamond shape piece of wood, about 5" by 5", to catch more wind.

Now just hang it in a breezy spot and enjoy!

Overdue Post: 50th Birthday Bash

2013-03-10T13:53:00.000-05:00

This post is long overdue, but Miss Ginger and the local 'snaps did survive the 50th birthday celebration in New Orleans! Here's what you missed:

Miss Ginger arrived to a bucket of champagne waiting in her room- what a great surprise! You see it on TV all the time, but it's never happened to Miss Ginger! If you ever want to make someone's day's day- make it happen! Many thanks to my dear friends at Legacy Community Health Services for making a fantasy come to life!

First to arrive for the weekend were Boy G's brothers, who came from as far as Albuquerque to join the celebration. I think both brothers were relieved to learn that Boy G had left Miss Ginger's drunk ass at home!

Ms. Sonna had planned the whole shindig, including selecting a FABULOUS suite at the Bourbon Orleans for the venue! The bedroom was upstairs out of the way, and the living room and balcony overlooking Orleans Street was more than enough room for the catering and festivities. She and Kaylynn also corroborated on a "This is Your Life" video, and Boy G is STILL wondering where she got some of those photos! It was a touching tribute, as was the presence of friends and family from around the US who flew and drove from all over to join the party!

Since that night, Miss Ginger has been keeping a close eye on her "check liver" light! Whoever said that "50 is the new 40" has clearly lived a much cleaner life than Miss Ginger! But start planning now, folks: if Miss Ginger can still draw a breath on her own, we'll repeat it in 2023 for her 60th birthday, and, hopefully, retirement party!

Wine Bottle Apothecary Jars

2013-02-19T23:07:00.000-06:00

Here's another great wine bottle craft, and it's also a great way to use up some wood scraps. They could also be decorated, etched or otherwise embellished to make a truly personal gift!

Start by selecting your bottles and cutting them down to your desired size. Use a piece of emery paper to soften the sharp edges.

To make the lid, use a scrap of solid wood (this is poplar) and a hole saw fitted to an electric drill. If you have access to a drill press, it's a bit easier to control, but any drill will work. You'll need 2 hole saws, one a bit bigger than the outside diameter of your bottle, and one the exact size of your bottle. Miss Ginger used a 3- 5/8" and a 2-3/4". Start with the larger saw, and cut into the wood just far enough to mark your circle. Don't cut all the way through the wood yet, but it's okay if the pilot bit goes all the way through.

Next, switch to the smaller saw, and center the blade by guiding the pilot bit in the center of the blade into the center hole. Cut a slot about halfway through the wood; this will sit over the rim of your bottle. If you can't find a saw the exact diameter, or if the glass is thick, you may need to use 2 consecutive sizes of saw to make this channel wide enough to fit the bottle.

Once the channel is cut, return to the largest blade, center the pilot bit, and cut the lid all the way through. If you are making multiple lids, perform all the cuts with each blade in sequence, to avoid changing the blade every time!

Sand the lids down, spray with a clear polyurethane, and add a decorative knob to the top. Now your jars are ready to fill with special treasure for yourself or as a thoughtful gift!

It's Almost Here!

2013-02-19T21:01:00.001-06:00

It's almost here! The party of the (half) century! You don't have to miss it... almost every major airline serves Louis Armstrong International Airport! You may even be able to find a last-minut deal! Can't wait to see who's coming to celebrate!

Now THAT'S What I Call Up-cycling!!

2013-02-15T19:19:00.001-06:00

Upcycled Fragrance Warmer

2013-02-10T18:34:00.001-06:00

Anyone who lives in an older home like Chez Ginger knows that they can have a certain "nasal patina" that just comes with the territory. And anyone who has a kitty like Miss Shelby knows that they come with their own set of odors, as well. So Miss Ginger is quite experienced with the many gizmos and gadgets designed to fragrance the home. They can be quite expensive, if not initially, then long term as their liquids, oils, and nonesuch have to be replaced.

Here's an upcycle that gives your home the scent of fresh laundry, using castaway glass bottles and an inexpensive "filler" to be revealed later.

You'll need some empty "longneck" beer bottles, or other bottles of a similar diameter, and some empty wine bottles. You'll also need a bottle cutter, and a "dremel" tool with a diamond wheel cut-off blade.

Be sure your wine bottles have a nice, deep "punt" on the bottom of them. You'll see why this is important in a minute.

Cut your beer bottles below the neck but above the label. Miss Ginger leaves the label in place, because she uses it as a cutting guide, and removes it later, but you don't have to. Cut the wine bottles about half an inch or so from the bottom, so you are left with pieces that look like little glass sombreros.

Next, use the diamond-wheeled saw to carefully cut around the small label on the back. You are literally going to cut the label off, glass and all. Start by gently guiding the wheel along one side of the label to create a scratch. Put a drop of cutting oil (it comes with the blade) onto the scratch (the scratch keeps the oil from rolling off) and continue to cut along the line until you have ground all the way through. Once you have cut all four sides of the label it will drop through. It may take a little practice to learn the best way to cut the label away, and beer bottles are made of very cheap glass, so you may break a few before you get the hang of it. Be sure to wear gloves and goggles for this part!

If all goes well, it will look like this. On the other side of the bottle, cut a smaller hole, or a series of slits, or some other shape to allow air to flow through.

Often, the glass will break at the top of the 2 vertical cuts, like you see here. As long as there are no other cracks in the glass, this is okay... you really won't see it once everything is set up.

Once everything is cut, use emery cloth or a diamond bit to remove any sharp edges, peel any remaining labels off, and give everything a good wash. (Bonus tip: WD-40 is a cheap and effective product to remove just about any kind of adhesive residue, and it's cheaper than those "goo" products you buy just for that purpose. But it stinks, so use it outside!) Flip the "sombrero" over, place it on top, and you're ready to load!

Here's the secret ingredient: Downy Unstoppables Fabric Softener. This exact brand is actually made up of little wax pellets impregnated with fragrance that are supposed to go into your washer. Miss Ginger has not used it for that purpose, since it really doesn't seem like it would be good for your washer, the drain, or your clothes, but hey, who is she to judge?!

Fill the little sombrero with pellets, drop in a candle, light it, and wait a few minutes. The candle will warm the pellets until they melt, releasing the fragrance of fresh washed laundry for hours! The fragrance lasts through many lightings, even if the pool of pellet juice cools and hardens; just put in a new candle and remelt it!

DISCLAIMERS: Use common sense when burning any candle!!
DO NOT leave any burning candle unsupervised!
Place on a non-flammable surface.
Ensure a safe distance from curtains, fabrics, paper, etc.
Keep away from children and pets.
Do not move the unit until the candle is extinguished and the wax has hardened.

The maker of Downy Fabric Softener make no claims for the suitability of their product for this purpose. Use at your own risk.

But trust Miss Ginger: it smells WONDERFUL! Make one for every room and it's like a whole house full of "clean sheet night!"

Deconstructed Bottle Chandelier

2013-01-31T08:00:00.000-06:00

Here's an "up-cycle" Miss Ginger recently created from "deconstructed" S. Pellegrino bottles. It's a new technique she is perfecting, so expect to see more like it coming up! Click here to see her post on "deconstructing" bottles.

This "chandelier" is made from bottle segments, an old lamp shade, and some Christmas lights. Since she had no pattern or directions, it's taken a few days as she has worked through the kinks, but here's the general idea.

The base is the wire frame of the lampshade, with the fabric removed. Because she needed one more strut in the center of the frame, she lashed a couple of brass rings from the craft store onto the frame with paddle wire. The frame hang upside-down, to the largest ring is at the top.

A paint can lid serves as the hub for the chains that hang the chandelier. This chain from Lowe's was easy to bend with pliers, so links can be removed and added without bolt cutters.

After hanging the frame at a comfortable height for working, she added the glass tiles, linking them to the frame with 1" binder rings from the office supply store.

Each tile overlaps the previous, and each binder ring goes through 2 tiles. Starting on the lowest, smallest rings, Miss Ginger worked her way around each row until the entire frame was covered.

With the tiles in place, she went back and strung the lights inside, running the wires through the binder rings. Next time, she will put the lights on first, and do a better job of concealing the wires and keeping the bulbs in a consistent orientation.

Now it adds a cozy little glow to Nog's little outdoor room!

"Deconstructing" Bottles

2013-01-30T23:29:00.000-06:00

Miss Ginger finds the most clever "up-cycles" to be ones where the original material is hard to identify. She loves when people say to her "what in the world did you use to make that?!" Often, materials can be totally deconstructed, and used to create something entirely different. Case in point: glass bottles.

The potential for bottle parts goes beyond cutting the top off to make a "glass". If you take that glass and cut the bottom off, you now have a glass "tube". Cut the tube in sections, and you have "rings". The possibilities are endless!

All of that cutting is impossible to do with the ineffective "acetone and string" method, and really tedious with a G2 cutter. This job calls for power tools!

You could rent a big tile saw at the local tool rental, but honestly, this great little saw from Lowe's will cut glass like butter, and only takes up about a square foot of storage space. Plus, it's only $89 bucks.... I'm not sure you could rent one for less!

Disclaimer: this product is not designed to cut glass. Miss Ginger Grant, her affiliates, friends, fans, and acquaintances make no claims for the worthiness of this product for the task at hand. Proceed at your own risk!

That said, Miss Ginger has cut many, many bottles with hers, and has cut herself never. The blade is rough, not sharp, and it has no teeth, so even if you were to accidentally brush against it, you'd get an abrasion, not a cut. Still, one should wear gloves, and definitely protective eyewear, when working with any power tool. And earplugs. It's a tad noisy.

Also, you will definitely want to work outdoors, and cover nearby surfaces with plastic sheeting. The saw uses water to keep the blade and bottle cool, and it slings quite a bit of water mixed with super-fine glass dust that will leave a white film anywhere it dries.

Using the tile saw, Miss Ginger was able to rip a huge pile of S. Pellegrino bottles into these components:

The top of the bottle creates a little funnel. She has several ideas for how to use those. The middle row, the 3 "tiles", are what she will use first, to create an outdoor chandelier for an upcoming post. She also saved the round bottoms, and is tossing around several ideas for those, as well.

Keep watching, dear GingerSnaps, for the Deconstructed Bottle Chandelier!

Proud to be a Houstonian!

2013-01-28T21:36:00.004-06:00

Houston's out lesbian Mayor Annise Parker shows her NOH8 realness!!

Wine Bottle Bookshelf

2013-01-19T12:00:00.000-06:00

Miss Ginger needed a bookshelf for the craft room, and, having blown her budget on gadgety whoo-ha's for the Sewing Center, needed to come up with something on the cheap. But of course, it mustn't look "cheap". Plastic, laminate, and such would just not do! Not wanting to spend money on lumber or time on painting it, Miss Ginger remembered seeing some intriguing posts on Pinterest about making bookshelves from wine bottles, a resource that is certainly plentiful around Chez Ginger! Always a big fan of green-thinking and reusing resources, Miss Ginger found these posts failed on 2 primary criteria for up-cycling. First, the recycled material was obvious... it was clearly a wine bottle. In this case, Miss Ginger was willing to give a pass, since she thinks that the various shades of green glass in wine bottles are pretty, and many of the labels are works of art in themselves. (She developed this appreciation for wine label art about the same time she discovered how effective modern-day wine label adhesives are at preventing said art from being removed!) Her second concern were that the designs of the bookshelves were not well-conceived. One had staggered the bottles to make the linking mechanism work.... ugly. Another used visible hardware to sort of strap the whole thing together... again, ugly. Still a third doubled up the center shelves, presumably to make the structure stronger? And uglier, not to mention wasting an entire board!

So, she set to work to figure out the perfect up-cycled bottle bookshelf. Here's how she pulled it together.

She chose paint-grade finger-jointed pine for the shelves, since it is the cheapest "solid wood" product at the lumber yard. MDF and particle board won't work for shelves, since there is no structural strength. Finger-jointed pine is actually small scraps of pine by-product from the manufacture of other lumber products, so, in a way, it is up-cycled lumber... and it looks kind of "wine-cellarish!" She cut her shelves to the same width, added a platform edge to bottom shelf for rigidity, and drilled a quarter inch hole in each corner of every shelf.

Next, on the underside of each shelf, she used a 1 1/8" bit to drill a 1/4 inch deep hole with the same center, to provide a recess to lock the levels together.

Each "layer" will consist of 1 board, with 4 bottles attached, so after choosing 4 bottles of the same height for each layer, she drilled a small hole in the bottom using a Dremel tool with a 1/4" glass drilling bit. With the holes drilled, she needed to get a 3" carriage bolt through the hole from the inside, so she used sticky wax (from a Babybel Gouda she had in the fridge) on a skewer to carry the nut through the neck of the bottle.

Once the bolt was in place, she could hold it with one hand, and twist the skewer with the other to separate the two, leaving the bolt in position and the skewer ready for it's next target!

With the bolt in position she needed to hold it still while turning on a nut from the bottom (stop giggling!) so she used the little screwdriver from her Mother's first sewing machine taped onto a length of dowel. (She knew she had kept that little orange screwdriver all these years for a reason!)

This little jury rig worked perfectly to hold the bolt while the nut was added from below.

Here's the first "layer", with all four bottle bolted firmly into place. The next layer was created the same way, with the larger holes on the bottom of each shelf fitting nicely over the tops of the bottles below it.

Miss Ginger bolted and stacked each layer the same way, until she reached the height she wanted, which was about 70"! Believe it or not, at this point the unit was really solid, and by sliding the bottom platform away from the wall, she was able to work on the back of the bookshelf. To give it a more "bookshelfy" look vs. a stack of boards and bottles, she used a length of one-sided corrugated kraft to create a "back" by stapling it to each shelf from behind. Then, for rigidity, she took a length of pine 1x3 and nailed it behind the kraft. You can't see it, but it's behind the kraft on each side, at the very edge, between the paper and the wall.

Here it is, partially styled for this photo. Trust, honey, this bookshelf is strong enough to hold 100's of books, a collection of CD's, or cases and cases of delicious rosy reds or delightful chardonnays!

Admittedly, I wouldn't put it in the living room or formal dining area, but for a craft room or rec room, it's kind of darling, and certainly affordable!!

Stay tuned for another affordable work surface that also provides hidden storage!

Craft Room... Part II !!

2013-01-18T21:18:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since Miss Ginger has had a craft post on the blog, but it's not because she has been lazy! On the contrary, she has been slaving away night and day, through 2 weeks of vacation, to get the Craft Room finished and ready for daily use! You've already seen Phase One, and since she hasn't had to while away hours this year creating Mardi Gras finery, she's taken advantage of this gorgeous Texas winter to finish Phase II of the Craft Room! It's lovely being in the workshop this time of year, so she started back in November and has been at it every chance she's had since then!

She started by laying out the rough pieces in the garage to get the general shape of the project built out....

Once she had the general size and scale laid out, she consulted with Chief Draftskitten Shelby to ensure the plans were accurate, detailed, and on budget. Miss Shelby is a stickler for coming in on budget!

There were measurements to measure, fittings to fit, and orders to be ordered, and there has been months of chaos and excitement around Chez Ginger as the pieces were assembled!

Now that the paint has dried, Miss Ginger couldn't be happier with the results, and she is thrilled to show you Part II of her magical craft space!

You may think it's a desk, but you'd only be half right. By day, 'tis but a trusty desk, with plenty of room for paperwork, a laptop, and a purring kitten curled up on a pillow. But, by night, this clever desk transforms into an all-inclusive sewing center, with a hydraulic lift for the sewing machine, as well as a pull-out ironing board and a sliding platform for the serger! Shelby and Ginger designed it, and Boy G and Nog built it, and the whole family could not be happier!

Miss Ginger plans to spend this weekend canvassing the house for all for all of the crafts supplies and tools that are tucked in every nook and cranny, so they can all be relocated into their new home in the all inclusive craft room! There's a few more bits and pieces that Miss G pull together for you in the next few posts, but meanwhile, drop her a comment and let her know what crafts you'd like to see on these pages!

Golden? Globes....

2013-01-13T22:21:00.000-06:00

Miss Ginger is way, way, WAAAY too busy to spend time watching award shows, especially made-up ones like the Golden Globes! I mean, really, the Hollywood Foreign Press? Whatsamata, fellas, couldn't get invited to the Academy Awards, so you invented your own?! Not wanting to disappoint her adoring GingerSnaps, Miss G did send a few of her "people" to cover the awards and bring back some photos for her review.

Before we get into those, though, let's look at this cheesy publicity shot of a bunch of people (the foreign press, I guess?) rolling out the red carpet. The Britney Spears wannabe on the left is... get this.... "Miss Golden Globes!" Wha- wha- WHAT?! Is this an awards show or a beauty pageant?! Wait, there is no pageant... we just give the award to some celebrity's daughter who would never see the red carpet any other way! And look how the inferior dye in that cheap red carpet came off on the soles of her shoes. Shameful!

So let's get through this stack of photos. It's gonna be a bumpy night!

First: Zooey Deschanel. You know how Miss Ginger usually feels about red on the red carpet, but she thinks Zooey kind of pulled it off. Miss G never heard her new show... she's seen it a million times on DirecTV by United Airlines, but, being too cheap to swipe her card for a 45 minute flight, Miss G sees it with no sound. She's pretty sure she's not missing much. We do, however, love her name. Her first name has way more letters than it needs, but her surname "Deschanel"... it's like, not only is she OVER Chanel.... she's DE- Chanel! "Screw Coco and her groundbreaking style: I'm gonna be me!" So, Zoe: 5 lipsticks.

Lucy Liu. Miss Ginger is going to be provocative on this one... she liked it! I know- we heard all the "Grammaw's couch" comments and such, but Lucy kinda rocked it! (And thank Goddess Zsa-Zsa did not have a couch covered in that fabric!!) The colors were pretty on Lucy. The shape is to die for, and the braid-in-place-of-jewelry was even sort of cute. Granted, had Miss G been the couturier, she would have placed the patterns a bit more consistently, but gurl, that wastes YARDS of fabric, and CA II and III are a long time away now! A washed-up star's gotta economize, ya know?!

Nichole Richey. Gawd, Miss Ginger despises her! A never-has-been celebrity child of a washed-up 70's pop singer. Now she's trying to be a fashion designer. And she sucks at it. But, Miss Ginger must admit, this dress flatters her! It's nice not to have to look at her boney arms, or be threatened by her sharp-as-needles collarbones jutting out at you like a jouster's staff! Nichole gets a win. And Miss Ginger eats crow.

Speaking of jutting collarbones.....

Anne, Anne, Anne... we love you, you rocked Les Miz, and we know you had to cut your hair for the part... but is that any reason to just give up? I mean, c'mon... WHITE?! With your pasty skin? Straight, strapless, AKA "boob tube?!" Girl: you ain't got no boobs! That dress, on your body, looks like a brand new, fresh-out-of-the-package ironing board cover just waiting for it's first scorching! Could you have AT LEAST put on a necklace and some chandelier ears, or did you piss off Harry Winston by playing a whore? Thank goddess you have that killer smile, 'cause the rest is just SAD! (PS: have a sandwich... the movie's in the can now!)

And then there's this. Miss Ginger LOVES Kelly Osborne's spunky, "my-dad-was-fringe-but-I'm-gonna-be-cool" attitude, and she salutes Kelly's remarkable weight loss, so honey: give it a rest! High school girls in Galena Park, Texas, dye their hair with Kool-Aid because it's all they can afford, and all their Momma's will let them do! You are rich, and your Momma will let you do ANYTHING... so get thee to a quality salon and fix that shit! Where is Tabatha Coffey when I need her?!

Halle, honey: what is with you and the awful, pale colored prints. You are blackish... you need some color to keep from looking muddy. And let's talk about that pose... haven't you SEEN what the internets did to Angelina Grodie when she struck that same little ditty last year?! By the way... as we said before... you are blackish. That means you must, you must, eliminate the crust! Exfoliate that knee and those ankles until they approach bloody, and then slather them with cream! Especially if you are gonna stick your leg out like a hooker on the red carpet!

Alyssa Milano. School bus yellow. Really? Miss Ginger is not even sure where to start, but let's begin with the foundation... or lack thereof. The girls are about 3 inches below center, making it look like you are trying to smuggle in a french baguette! (Although, a snack is not a bad idea... those acceptance speeches do get a little long!) And a belt? A belt. Really?! On a gown with a train. A cheap satin gown, but, a gown, nonetheless. But here's the clincher: WRINKLES?! Not wrink-le.... wrink-leS! LOTS of them! If (and only if) you INSIST on wearing a cheap satin, school bus yellow gown on the red carpet, your sole purpose in life becomes to keep it from wrinkling!! And we're not talking about a little "bruising" of the fabric on the seat... we are talking wadded-in-a-bag, didn't-bother-to-iron, slept-in-it-the-night-before WRINKLES! Sit on one cheek! Have a staff of homos at the ready with a Jiffy Steamer. Stand up all night!! Wrinkles are NOT acceptable- EVER! And that's why, my dear Alyssa, you are Miss Ginger's Golden Globes Loser of the Year!!

Before we close, let's talk about one more hopeless case....

Jody. Dear Jody. Dear sweet lesbian Jody... we love you so! Why do insist on squashing our love for you with that snotty, I'd-rather-be-licking-p%^$$y smirk that purses your lips and makes your mouth wrinkle? You have a nice smile... we've seen it in the movies. And if it's not nice enough to make you happy, Doctor Randy Mitchmore can make you one that you'll love showing off on the red carpet. (I know it's been a while since you worked, but he can even work out a payment plan!) You also need a drag queen to open up your beady little eyes so they don't look so much like seething slits..... But other than that... we REALLY love you!

So , dear GingerSnaps, who were your favorites? And your least favorites? But most importantly: WHY?!

I'm Puckered Up and Ready.....

2013-01-12T16:07:00.004-06:00

Who's first?

How's Your's So Far?

2013-01-03T21:14:00.001-06:00

Miss Ginger's New Year has started off "swimmingly", as they say... not because she has started a new exercise regimen, mind you... she just started it off swimming in cocktails, but is ready to dry up a bit.

It's started with this rather innocent looking bloody mary at the United Club Lounge at Houston's Intercontinental Airport. I can't speak for any of the legacy United "Red Carpet" lounges (that name conjures images of smokey air and raspy saloon chanteuses), but if you ever have the opportunity to visit the former "President's Club" at Newark or IAH, I can guarantee you the best dang bloody mary you've ever tasted... and it's FREE! Hard to believe I only had one... but it's true!

Miss Ginger met up with Brother J at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas midday, and it was nirvana: no cab line!! We hopped into one of Las Vegas' many smelly and run down, but cheap, taxicabs, and headed to our destination for the weekend: Rio All-Suites Hotel and Casino!

If you are familiar with Las Vegas, Rio is the big purple and red monstrosity across the freeway from the strip. Miss Ginger doesn't use the word monstrosity lamely: the place is HUGE! And, it's purple and red. You decide.

So, here's the 411 on Rio:

PLUSSES:
+ It's off the strip, so you get good deals, and you don't have to deal with "strip rats".
+For those who "must" cruise the strip, there are free shuttles back and forth every 15 minutes. (It really is just across the freeway, but it's a LONG walk!)
+ The rooms are HUGE!
+ They take pets. (Shelby insisted that Miss Ginger include that tidbit. No, she did not get to go.)
+ The casino is top notch, with great slots, plenty of table games, and everything else you'd expect from a top Vegas property.
+ The restaurant selection is great, with both a regular buffet and a seafood buffet, plus a wine cellar, a sports bar, and 2 Starbucks! VooDoo Steak has a great view, a great menu, and great service, without being pretentious... tops in Miss G's book!
+ The beverage service on the casino floor is A-MAZE-ING! In most casinos, a cocktail waitress is almost impossible to find, unless you are in the high roller area- heaven help you if you're playing penny slots! And if you do find one, she's usually a bitter old hag with too much hairspray, and lipstick on her teeth. But at Rio, they have "beveratainers"... beverage servers who are also entertainers. There are TONS of them; during slow times, they operate as you would expect, but when it gets busy, they pull out this iPad system that gets you a drink in 2-3 minutes, tops. There's no waiting with a dry glass, either... there are so many of them that you turn a couple away before you are ready for another!
+ Oh... "beveratainment". So, throughout the day, you will hear this little "cha cha cha- RIO!" interlude, and when you look up, your cocktail waiter or waitress has pulled out a little set of hidden stairs, climbed up on the slot machines, and is belting out a song or busting a move to beat the band! They sing live, and the dancers are cute, and they perform like 2 and half minutes, tops. Then they push the stairs back in, pick up their tray, and continue about their business! They have an equal number of boys and girls (you know Miss G loves equality!) and they are all amazingly talented!
+ The "Show in the Sky". Like nothing else! Rio was built in the 80's during the "can't top this" casino days. Their schtick was a Carnival Parade in the sky, and although most of the casino floor has been extensively updated, they have worked around the hanging trolleys to maintain the parade. Thursday through Sunday, from 6pm - 11pm every hour on the hour, singers and dancers come out and do a short little floor show, then disappear momentarily as a big section of a wall moves away. Out come fully lit Carnival floats, hanging from the ceiling on an amazing trolley system that carries the dancers all around the casino floor, slinging beads, dancing, and flirting with the screaming crowd below! It's a Vegas "must-see".

MINUSES
- It's not on the strip... if that's important to you.
- The rooms are huge, but a bit dated. They are clean, and comfortable, with all the amenities... but, it's not NOBU, or Wynn, or even Planet Hollywood.
- Their big show is "Penn and Teller". But, they also have "The Chippendales". And a shuttle to the strip.

Saturday, Miss Ginger and Brother J spent the day gambling, drinking, and catching up a bit, before heading up to VooDoo Steak for huge hunks of beef and a bottle of wine. After that, there was more drinking.... a hamburger... black jack.... black girls in the elevator... ... ... whatever else happened in Vegas stays in Vegas... mostly because Miss G can't remember!!!

She was feeling a bit puny the next morning, but rallied midday, and by New Year's Eve was all set for the "VIP Dinner" to which high-rolling Brother J had been invited. Beautiful food, obnoxious table mates, and a spectacular view of the fireworks over the strip made for an incredible New Years Eve!

Now Miss G has several more days off before her return to work, so she can get rested, relaxed, and prepared for the coming year!

How did YOU ring the New Year, dear 'Snaps? And how is it treating you so far?

Christmas Cheers!

2012-12-22T22:22:00.001-06:00