William Tollefson Values

Life is All in How We View It

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sun, 31 May 2026 20:34:27 +0000

How we view our lives drives everything. It colors our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. View is defined as the act of seeing or inspecting something, a specific scene or vista, or experiences”. When it comes to understanding and navigating life, our view of life plays a crucial and powerful role that shouldn’t be downplayed. This concept isn't just a philosophical musing, but a profound truth that impacts our daily experiences, mental well-being, and overall happiness.

Your life depends entirely on how you view yourself and your life. Life is all in how we view it. If you view life as exciting, you will see it that way. If you view life as a burden, then you will see everything as a burden. If you view life as against you, you see it that way always until you face it.

In this case, “view” is defined as a particular way of considering something or regarding something that forms a belief, an attitude, or a personal opinion/attitude.

Our views, beliefs, attitudes, and opinions shape our mindsets (Def: A mindset is a person’s habitual way of thinking, encompassing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions into a mental framework). A framework is a basic, supporting structure—physical or conceptual—used to guide, build, or organize something. It provides a foundational set of rules, ideas, or components that define how a project, system, or organization is structured and functions, aiding in standardization and efficiency and shaping how they perceive, interpret, and respond to situations. It acts as a lens for viewing challenges and opportunities, profoundly influencing behavior and potential outcomes.

The Power of Mindset

Our mindset shapes our reality. A person with a positive outlook often sees opportunities where others see obstacles. Challenges become learning experiences rather than insurmountable barriers. This doesn't mean ignoring life's struggles; it means facing them with grit, resilience, and optimism.

For instance, consider two individuals facing the same difficult situation. One person might feel overwhelmed, focusing on the negative aspects, while the other might see it as an opportunity to grow, learning valuable lessons along the way. The difference lies in their perceptions.

The Role of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can significantly alter our perspective on life. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, we cultivate a sense of fulfillment, abundance, and contentment. This shift in focus can lead to improved mental health, stronger relationships, and greater overall satisfaction.

An exercise to enhance your focus on gratitude is to express two things you are grateful for upon rising in the morning. It helps in shifting the focus from daily disappointments to life's blessings. nurturing a positive outlook.

Embracing Change

Change is inevitable, but how we view it determines its impact on our lives. Viewing change as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat can make transitions smoother and less daunting. Embracing change with an open mind allows us to adapt and thrive in new circumstances.

This approach can be applied to various aspects of life, including career changes and personal relationships. By accepting and welcoming change, we open ourselves up to new experiences and possibilities.

The Influence of Surroundings

Our environment and the people we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on our perspective. Positive, supportive relationships encourage a healthy mindset, while toxic ones can drain our energy and hinder our growth.

It's essential to cultivate a supportive network and a positive environment that aligns with our values and goals. Sometimes, this might mean letting go of relationships or habits that no longer serve us.

Mindfulness and Presence

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises, help in grounding ourselves in the present moment. Focusing on the present moment reduces anxiety about the future and regret about the past. This heightened awareness enhances our appreciation for life’s simple pleasures and encourages a more balanced perspective.

Conclusion

Life is indeed all in how we view it. By adopting a positive mindset, practicing gratitude, embracing change, fostering supportive relationships, and maintaining mindfulness, we can transform our experiences and lead a fulfilling, joyful life. Remember, while we may not always have control over external events, we always control how we perceive and react to them. This powerful realization can be the key to unlocking a more contented and enriched life.

For more information and advice, contact Coach Bill Tollefson at Dr Bill Life Coach

A.I.R.© Is All You Need To Be Fulfilled

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sun, 31 May 2026 19:36:42 +0000

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant news cycle? Have you lost touch with yourself, self-relationship, your own goals, and inner peace? Unsure what will happen next?

In these uncertain times, it is hard to feel calm and certain in life. We focus on what is happening in the world. Events in the world change constantly, keeping us in a state of flux. This constant focus on external events shifts attention away from our own well-being, ultimately heightening stress. Consequently, this chronic stress drives a continuous, often exhausting search for safety.

It is clear that we need actionable life skills to navigate stress, manage discomfort, and overcome uncertainty about the future.

Short bullet points to help explain A.I.R.©:

A – Alternative: Exploring non-traditional, holistic pathways to healing that look beyond conventional stress-management.

I – Intuitive: Reconnecting with your core beliefs, inner voice, instincts, and bodily wisdom to guide your recovery.

R – Recovery: Actively reclaiming your power, resetting your core beliefs, and returning to a state of fulfillment.

Alternative Intuitive Recovery© (A.I.R.) is a way to gain clarity, change core beliefs, gain fulfillment, enhance life skills, and improve your relationship with yourself. The A.I.R.© process will help you take your power back and focus on yourself rather than the outside world. Remember, your number one priority is yourself.

For more information and advice, contact Coach Bill Tollefson at Dr Bill Life Coach

How To Live In Peace

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 19:56:00 +0000

A majority of people’s objective is to live in peace, yet their actions, feelings, and thoughts show otherwise. They are stuck on focusing on what has already happened rather than what is happening in their lives.

Eleven things you should not do to live in peace.

1. Don’t waste your energy or time living in past painful emotions or mentally reviewing a specific past event

2. Don’t look back

3. Don’t second-guess your decisions

4. Don’t keep replaying past mistakes over and over in your mind or re-live past hurt feelings

5. Don’t criticize or self-judge performance in past difficult or uncomfortable conversations

6. Don’t fixate on past things you couldn’t control

7. Don’t imagine catastrophic scenarios

8. Don’t overthink your past decisions, which causes you to avoid action in the present

9. Don’t assume other people’s opinions are better than your own while you put your opinions down

10. Don’t compare yourself to others

11. Don’t accept or live in doubt

Final Thoughts

To be at peace, you must focus on yourself as your number one priority. Live and rejoice in the freedom from negativity in your mind and heart.

For more information and advice, contact Coach Bill Tollefson at Dr Bill Life Coach

Improve Your Life Quickly With These 4 Elements

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Mon, 09 May 2022 19:37:00 +0000

We all want to know a life skill we can use to make our lives and ourselves better. We want it to be easily understood and can do it ourselves.

Well, here you go.

To simplify things, I have broken this life skill down into 4 easy important elements. If you do these 4 things below every day you will become more confident, happy, and fulfilled.

1. Like Yourself Fully

If you do not like yourself how can anyone else? Be a role model for other people in your life on how you want to be liked. Like yourself the way you would like others to like you.

2. Love Yourself Fully

Loving yourself is the foundation for some many enrichments in your life. Such as self-confidence, self-esteem, self-value, and self-worth. If you can’t love yourself, no one else can.

3. Believe in Yourself Fully

This element is the most important one. Believing in yourself is the element that bonds your foundation together. Belief makes your foundation stronger and self-love tighter. Your mind and body can’t achieve anything if you don’t believe you can do it, can think it, or can feel it. Visualize yourself as you want yourself to be inside, and then produce it on the outside. When you believe in yourself fully you become the master of yourself, and you can accomplish anything.

4. Be All in with Yourself

This final element is the follow-through that makes 1 through 3 work. Be willing to do the work to like yourself, love yourself, and believe in yourself with all your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual strength. Be your strongest supporter.

Do one through four every day with all your might and your life will improve significantly.

Finally an Answer

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Mon, 14 Feb 2022 21:29:00 +0000

For decades, I have been searching for an answer to an unfulfilled question. I sought answers educationally, personally, and professionally. As simple as the question might seem, it is one of the hardest to obtain a useful answer.

Here is the question: How do you let go? (i.e.: experiencing loss in life)

I have sought out and asked scholars, laypeople, and mental health professionals. The answers I got from most were “just let go”, “don’t think about it” and “that happened so long ago, forget it”. The problem is that the more you try to let go of something, not think about something, or try to forget something. The harder you hold on to it, the more you think about it or the more it surfaces into your conscious mind. No help there and doesn’t address how to let go.

Recently, I believed I got a good “how to” answer for my unfulfilled question on “how to let go”. I receive this answer from a strong enlightened person. Here goes and I hope it helps anyone that wants or needs personal freedom by letting go of something unwanted.

1. Find a comfortable place

Pick out a place you can be comfortable, and you can have time alone. With few distractions. Sit up in a chair with good posture, hands on your thighs, and feet flat on the floor or ground. Close your eyes, connect your body sky by mentally stretching up to the sky (good posture) and grounded (feet flat on the floor) to the earth at the same time.

2. Embrace silence

Spend the whole time in this exercise in silence. Silence will allow you to listen with the ears of your heart.

3. Bring up what to want to let go of

While drinking the comfort of silence, bring up in your head what you want to let go of. Focus on that something, an attachment, habit, thought, or someone you need to free yourself from.

4. Use the power of your mind

As you are focusing, use the power of your mind and distract you focus 180 degrees and concentrate with all your mental power on listening to your breathing or your heart beating. Stay in your focus and silence no matter how hard it becomes. Bring your mind into your breathing or heartbeat. Don’t let your mind wander or allow your mind to grab onto your objective to let go and try to spoil it for you. Your mind's natural response is to get you to stop or fail. Hold your focus on your breathing or heartbeat until you feel your mind and body calming down, becoming comfortable, or going into a noticeably relaxed state. It may take some time but hang in there. The time will certainly be shorter than you have spending time focusing on want you want to let go of and not being able to

5. Affirm yourself

When you reach the level of comfort, calm, and relaxation you desire. Then affirm that you are free and will no longer be trouble by that something, attachment, habit, thought, or someone again.

Open your eyes and resume your daily activities. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishment.

Clearing Belief Dissonance Away for Promoting Change

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 10 Feb 2022 22:23:00 +0000

Change is hard enough without having conflicting beliefs, negative and positive, clashing with each other. Or without competing for cognitive space in your mind and causing mental dissonance.

Dissonance is defined as a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements. Dissonance can occur at any point of the change process.

To achieve change in one’s subconscious script, the person’s old negative beliefs need to be identified and removed, so new positive beliefs can be inserted in vacant place in his or her script.

Belief dissonance is the state of having two inconsistent core beliefs in conflict with each other, especially relating to decisions making, emotions, mindset change or problem situations. Typically, dissonance happens when a new positive core belief forms and vies for inclusion into the subconscious script, and then clashes with an established and embedded old negative core beliefs.

3 Types of Dissonant Beliefs

1. Constant beliefs: When two beliefs are consistent with each other

2. Diametrical beliefs: Two beliefs are the opposite of each other

3. Dissonant beliefs: Two beliefs inconsistent with each other

Dissonance happens when a person’s subconscious mind simultaneously holds two or more contradictory core beliefs. This occurs when performing a behavior, emotion, or thought that produces a positive new core belief. This action causes the beliefs to surface into the conscious triggering of an informational confrontation with an old embedded negative core belief present in one’s script.

The theory of core belief dissonance focuses on how a natural response of a human being during an experience strives for inner consistency or balance. Whereupon when the person experiences belief dissonance it causes an inconsistency or unbalance. This causes the person to become psychologically and emotionally uncomfortable. It also motivates the person to try to reduce the belief dissonance, and actively avoid negative emotions, ideas, information, or thoughts from being triggered, which would likely increase the psychological discomfort.

The disconfirmation of two clashing beliefs causes belief dissonance to increase and can only be resolved by removing the conflicting old negative core belief and allowing the new positive belief to take its place.

Once the old negative core belief is removed and replaced with the new positive core belief, the result in stress reduction, and restores psychological balance in the subconscious script.

Resetting Your Subconscious Core Beliefs

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Fri, 15 Oct 2021 18:45:00 +0000

Core beliefs can enhance or cripple our lives.

Core beliefs are self-messages accepted and embedded without our knowledge due to everyday experiences and turned into beliefs.

Core beliefs can be discovered, named, and then reset in our subconscious narrative which in turn will change how we respond to ourselves (behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and life), others, and the world.

Core beliefs can be the biggest barrier in our lives or our greatest drivers toward self-fulfillment.

What are Core Beliefs?

Change is a fact of life. The truth is we are changing every day, all the time between the maternity ward and the crematorium. When planning to do something new or going through a new experience in life, there is one thing that either drives us to success or blocks us from success is our core beliefs. A core belief is a self-message that is created during each life experience and is converted into a belief and stored in a self-narrative in the subconscious mind. All humans possess hundreds, more like thousands of core beliefs. Core beliefs are part of our belief system, and the content of our self-narrative influences how we feel, think and act. Depending on how we received each belief, they can be positive, helpful, motivating, true, or inspiring. Or they can be negative, critical, demeaning, disappointing, false, or harshly judging. Either way, they influence, direct, determine or govern how we act, feel, react, or think in every aspect of our lives.

To this article, the definition of a core belief, also known as a limiting belief, is statements that form from our experiences and are accepted into our subconscious mind and become the content of our personal mental narrative. It’s the act of believing strongly in a concept, idea, principle, and thought and then accepting it as truth even though it may not be. A core belief profoundly impacts our esteem, value, worth, confidence, and ability to function. For example, good core beliefs could be “I’m smart (I’m confident, intelligent, firm, or resilient). While destructive core beliefs could be I’m not good enough (I’m stupid, defective, ugly, unwanted, unloved, or an outcast).

Science has revealed that 95% of our day, our life is being directed, influenced, or governed by our script or mental narrative straight out of our subconscious mind. The content that runs our subconscious mind is core beliefs. Life under control of the script in our subconscious mind is just a constant playback of core beliefs formed and downloaded from other people and events we experience. These downloaded beliefs may not even allow us to be the person we want to be or get into the life we really wish for.

Why are Core Beliefs so important to understand?

We are not always conscious of what blocks us from achieving what we want out of ourselves or our lives. Core Beliefs lay hidden and silent within the shadows of our subconscious mind waiting to be triggered and brought to the surface of our conscious. They surface into our consciousness without awareness. A core belief can be a barrier that can restrict our own possibilities for change, success or block our motivation to achieve our happiness or full potential. To understand the significance of core beliefs, you must know how they originate.

How do core beliefs form?

The human brain is a complicated mechanism. Let’s focus on three of the many functions the brain serves for humans. One, it records every life event that a human experiences. Two, every life event is stored for future retrieval and has the ability to be replayed. The retrieval and replay process can occur on a conscious or subconscious level. Three, a belief is formed during each event and along with an associated emotion that attaches to each belief. At the same moment that the brain is recording a live event, which can be positive, affirming, painful, or traumatic, a belief is formed. This forming belief embeds itself in our subconscious narrative and carries a deep personal meaning of who we are as a person and how we fit in or not. Over time the core belief will root deeper into the subconscious mind. These beliefs can be about experiences, environment, family, ourselves, someone else, society, religion, or basically everything and everybody we come in contact with.

To help you understand better, here are a couple of examples.

A young individual is sitting anxiously awaiting the return of a math test that the student had studied very hard for. The teacher approaches their desk, looks at the student, lays down the test (with a failing grade), and says, “I do not know if you will ever be able to pass this course”. The beliefs that form for the student are “I am not good enough at math” (or “I’m stupid”) with an associated emotion of sadness and failure attached. The student accepts the failing test score unknowing while their subconscious mind accepts the belief and feeling. The student works hard with a tutor and passes the course but was never aware of the acceptance of the belief. The student grows up and holds a job as an accountant’s assistant. He is offered a promotion but turns down the promotion because he does not think he is “good enough”, “not smart enough,” or “does not deserve it”. A deep sense of being stupid, failure, and sadness also surface but they are not aware of where the beliefs or feelings come from. A co-worker asks states “why didn’t you go to college and get a degree in math to become an account. You are so good at it?” Instantly, he answers, “I am too stupid to go to college.”

Another example is of a young child that completed an important task, and their parent said, “you can do anything you set your mind to” and the emotion associated with it is pride in self. The belief that forms in this situation was “I can accomplish anything I want, no matter what”. He or she is offered a wonderful experience in adulthood and accepts it due to the mentioned positive belief accepted in childhood and succeeds in that experience.

A Different Way to Look at Core Belief Development

Let’s look at an analogy. A young tree forms out from seed. The seedling falls to the ground, buries itself, and begins to grow. Initially, the roots spread out seeking and gathering minerals and water to feed their growth. The roots send out nourishments to the trunk, branches, and leaves. The trunk gets thicker with strong bark, branches spread out, and leaves flourish. At full growth, the tree looks majestic, strong, and healthy. Over time, deep in the ground, the roots multiply and begin to intertwine and attack each other. Above the ground, the tree looks healthy but is starting to become weak inside and susceptible to disease and elements due to what is happening under the ground. The tree will stand or fall depending on the health of the roots.

The same is true about all of us. We either grow and change or become stuck due to the messages that we hold about ourselves in our subconscious narrative. We may appear strong on the outside, but it is the hidden beliefs deep within our mind that affect our ability to grow or not.

What can be done?

Hidden core beliefs are our agents for positive change or our downfall. But the fact is that they do not have to be permanent barriers to our growth. The wonderful thing about core beliefs is that there are methods that can aid us in drawing problematic beliefs out of the shadows and into our consciousness. Once discovered, core beliefs can be named, determined to be good or bad, and then shifted into the light of positiveness and become the energy behind our desired health, happiness, and transformation.

Dr. Bill Tollefson, Certified Master Life Coach, is one of the leading experts in trauma and how to change lives. He helps, teaches, and guides individuals to reach fulfillment within themselves and their lives quickly. Visit www.drbilltollefson.com or call him 239-349-2209

Attain Emotional Balance & How to Achieve Self-Fulfillment

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sat, 14 Sep 2019 18:25:00 +0000

These days, self-care is a big button issue for everyone. Everyone is seeking emotional health and fulfillment, but don't know how to achieve it. Ask yourself, how often do you take care of others over yourself? To be strong for others, you have to take care of yourself first.

If you don’t take responsibility for yourself, then no one else will; then nothing in yourself or life will change. If you don't take of yourself first, then you can't take care of another person. Think of being on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down. What is the procedure? You put your mask on first before someone else. If if you do it for the other person, you run out of oxygen quickly and you both perish.

So the first thing you do to move into emotional health and embrace self-fulfillment is to take care of yourself. Self-care means paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations now. You do that by cleaning up unresolved situations long ignored. It is giving care and attention to yourself.

Personal health, confidence, and fulfillment come from processing what was not before, rather than just gaining personal insight.

3 Steps to Emotional Balance & Achieving Self-fulfillment

Below are specific ways to seek emotional health and fulfillment. Follow the methods below to help you with processing present issues, as well as past material that you might not have ever dealt with.

1. Intuitive Approach.

First, to enter into processing from an intuitiveness mindset approach, where you can't be in your thoughts or feelings. Both your thinking and feeling will betray you and suck you into reliving.

Intuitive processing is the practice of digesting past pain from gut instinct or sensing actually guttural observing your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations from a witness position instead of being involved as a participant. The difference between "I feel right now I am hurting" (Caught up in or re-experiencing) and "My heart is hurt due to..." (Sensing the process). "I feel like a victim," "I sense I was a victim."; “I feel not good enough,” “I was labeled as not good enough.”

Therapy is not processing. The therapeutic approach is the practice of immersing into the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations to gain self-insight but can quickly result in surfacing triggers and realistic reexperiencing activating the fight or flight mechanism. Therapy is not processing.

Second, successful processing has to come from your second brain, which, if you don't, is your gut. Your gut is a place of "sensing" and is void of thinking and feeling. That is why processing can be so helpful.

Third, in order to process what you need to, you have to "step back" from yourself (divorcing yourself from the drama of the memory, false emotions, and distorted thinking) and witness the content of what happened, what you experienced, and all the drama connected.

If you can accomplish 1 through 3, you are ready for an intuitive approach.

Now, in my opinion, therapy is not processing. The therapeutic approach is the practice of immersing into the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations of the client to gain self-insight. Therapy can quickly result in surfacing triggers and realistic re-experiencing which can activate the fight or flight mechanism. Therapy is not processing.

2. Recognize what you have not processed yet.

Be honest and authentic with yourself. Recognizing is not a platform for judgment or criticism.

3. Don't get caught up in the residual drama of the issue you need to process.

Now is now. Now is not yesterday, nor is it the future.

4. Don't hide or act out

The first instinct is to hide, run from, or fight the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations or onslaught of triggers. If you are in a witness stance, the fight or flight mechanism will not activate.

5. Do not stop

Keep chewing to allow the digestion (processing ) to reach the desired mission, going out of your body and mind. For people who are not able to digest (process life situations) the symbolic result is that the body either holds on to the poop (constipation - can't get rid of it or get it out, causing a high level of constriction or restriction) or diarrhea (can't control or hold poop). Neither constipation nor diarrhea is healthy for digestion (emotional processing or self-fulfillment).

6. Take action

Change how you label yourself. Don't engage in self-criticism, self-judgment, self-rejection, or self-victimization. Instead, support yourself by loving yourself, encouraging yourself, and having compassion for yourself.

You should always be your number one priority.
Coach Bill

Are Your Thoughts Ruining Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sat, 04 Aug 2018 19:19:00 +0000

Thoughts are a Gift

Usually, thoughts are a gift. Thoughts are mighty, influential, and impressive human strength. Thoughts can be active, creative, conceptual, enjoyable, entertaining, fruitful, inventive, imaginative, and decisive. Thoughts, on the other hand, be upsetting, overwhelming, haunting, and even terrorizing.

The Dark Side of Thoughts

There is also a dark side to thoughts. Excessively focusing on thoughts can also become addicting. Thoughts can also be habitual, intrusive, harmful, painful, traumatic, scary, and stressful as well as unhealthy in the case of depressing, self-sabotaging, or suicidal thoughts.

Everyone is susceptible to forming an addiction to a thought or set of thoughts. Thought addiction is much more prevalent and common than many people know. The concept of thought addiction is rarely affirmed out loud. Therefore, an addiction to thought could remain in the shadows of the subconscious mind and hidden from professionals, leaving suffer in fear of their thoughts. In fear of fear. In fear of nothingness and painful silence. Terrorized and stuck in his or her head, fearing their own thoughts. Fighting and scared of something that cannot be seen or control.

Most importantly, a thought addiction can latch on and terrorize a mental and emotional system easily.

What is a Thought Addiction?

The definition of thought addiction is the development of a habitual pattern around a thought, set of thoughts or statements. Meaning the formation of an unhealthy attachment to beliefs, a set of thoughts or harmful comments can be miserable. It is essential to recognize and understand the difference between everyday continuous thinking and a full-blown thought addiction.

A full-blown thought addiction is where a thought(s), or harmful statements intensify through "brain rain." Brain rain manifests through anxiety, negative thinking, overthinking, obsessive thinking, thought looping, ruminating, or worry. At that point, when thought addiction intensifies into brain rain, it becomes destructive, inappropriate, or dangerous.

The lesson is that you believe and become what you dwell on.

An addictive involvement with a thought which becomes toxic, depletes every aspect of the person’s life, inside and out. Believe it or not, everyone gets caught up in a thought addiction at some time or another during their lifetime.

For example:

Depressive, obsessive, or suicidal thoughts are considered to be harmful habitual thoughts patterns. These types of thoughts can loop continuously in your mind, and they seem like they never can be stopped. An overwhelming thought, which feels out of control and never ends, can result in personal damage or death. Thought addiction is present when a person’s thoughts become so diluted. From that point on a person is locked out of reality, and his or her perception becomes clouded with misleading and false facts. Thought addiction affects how a person functions in everyday situations with themselves, their thoughts, their emotions and others in the world.

Ignoring a thought addiction is a real threat to a person's relationship with yourself, relationships with others, and connection with reality. Thought addiction many times is the forerunner of a secondary habit to an emotion, substance, or behavior. What this means a thought addiction is a phenomenon that serves as a sign or warning of some future destructive attachments.

One true fact is that every addiction starts with a thought.

Thought Addiction Affects Your Life Directly

Let’s face it, everyone will suffer from an addicted negative, self-destructive, obsessive, suicidal thought, or thought addiction from time to time during our lives. Some people become so fixated on a negative, self-destructive, obsessive, or suicidal thought. These types of habitual ideas can form a repetitive pattern of thinking. This type of thought fixation can more than likely turn into an unhealthy addictive attachment that cannot be let go of, that does not serve or becomes toxic.

When fixated on these types of repetitive thoughts, a person will spend so much time focused on thinking that it impairs daily living. These thoughts will develop into a constant mental loop, repeating over and over. Once stuck in a thought loop, the person is rarely can enjoy life because he or she are always worried about something "going wrong or bad happening." The person may get so deep into a thought addiction that all other relationships in their lives are avoided or ignored.

A Thought Addiction Can Terrorize Your Mind

Don’t let your thoughts control and enslave you. You should define how you believe and, ultimately, how you think. You cannot control your thoughts, but you can rescript your beliefs, and that action will change your thoughts directly.

8 Tips Your Thoughts are Terrorizing Your Mind

These tips are beneficial to become more aware of what is going on in your mind as well as increasing your ability to monitor your thoughts. Sometimes thoughts are seen as independently produced, but that is not so. More accurately, thoughts are a direct byproduct of the content of the belief system, especially the core beliefs contained within. Sometimes when under stress or through those uncertain times, it feels as though your mind has control over the production of your thoughts, and you do not. Constant thought looping feels akin to a terrorist who is taking up space in your mind. This process of thinking can cause you to feel out of control. Also, a thought addiction can take power over your mind and eventually become toxic.

So how do you know you might be suffering from a thought addiction?

The following are eight tips to assist in understanding if your thoughts have taken over your mind. If you answer "YES" on more than five tips below, you are under high stress and anxiety, which you need to address with a professional.

1. When a thought in your head consumes all your time, and you're unable to stop thinking about that thought no matter what is happening in your life

2. When you are so focused on a thought or set of thoughts that you are not experiencing what's happening at the moment

3. When you find yourself returning to a thought, you promised you would not think about ever again

4. You spend more time in an attachment to thought rather than interacting with yourself or others in your life

5. When eating and sleeping patterns are severely disrupted, due to constant fixation on a particular thought or set of thoughts

6. You experience an increase in anxiety or stress when you think of a specific thought or set of thoughts

7. You feel your thinking will cause something terrible will happen to you

8. You seem to be in a state of fear about the way you're thinking all the time. You become fearful of fear itself

There are ways to rid yourself of a thought addiction. Don't lose faith.

The Fix

Knowing when your mind is repetitively thinking the same thoughts over and over again through self-monitoring is the first step. Once you recognize what is going on, counter the process by increasing your mindfulness of what you are thinking. Then monitor your thoughts during the day and determine if your thoughts are of your thoughts. Finally, evaluate whether your thoughts are good or bad, harm or productive, realistic or unrealistic, useful or not. If they are not helpful, then denounce each one as harmful, wrong, and silly while refusing to accept any of the harmful beliefs. Once you face these non-serving thoughts, self-empowerment can be yours.

Afterthoughts

Facing your harmful, addictive thoughts will stir up countering core beliefs housed in your subconscious mind, and these harmful will begin to surface into your consciousness. Determine if your core beliefs are good or bad. Also, are your thoughts your's or been given to you by someone else’s suggestions. If, like your thoughts, your beliefs don’t serve you, then create new ones. Then you can denounce and delete the core beliefs which are harmful, self-destructive or don't help you at all.

Lastly, create new beliefs to take the place of the old beliefs. Practice by repeating the new beliefs daily for 90 days, and you will have positive beliefs and new thinking.

Change your core beliefs and you change your world.

Click here to take a free self-assessment to determine if you have a thought addiction or not.
Coach Bill

Life Coaching is Becoming More Popular

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Wed, 27 Jun 2018 19:39:00 +0000

Life coaching is gaining greater recognition as a viable helping profession. More and more people are viewing Life Coaching as an alternative method to enhance skills, productivity, and resolve present life issues. Life Coaches assist clients in acquiring the confidence to get unstuck. Coaches help clients to change careers, repair relationships, become more productive, or merely get themselves and life together. Business leaders, professional athletes, artists, and entertainers have known about coaches for a long time. Successful people have used coaches for decades to help them become more proficient, increase skills, and attain a positive outlook.

Now in the conditions seen in American has such unrest dealing with life situations. During times like in the present, people start looking at making important decisions in their lives, or are facing significant life transitions. That is when they reach out to life coaches – for help, advice, life skill development, support, and strategic direction.

Life Coaching Objective

The objective of life coaching is to assist anyone in formulating his or her life intentions are to succeed. Also, to uncover deep core beliefs which might be barriers to his or her positive movement, enhance happiness, and to move forward successfully.

Life coaching assumes that the person lacks the skill to move out of one comfort zone into another, which has become uncomfortable.
Life coaching is a teaching experience, just like a sports coach who trains, teaches, and directs athletics or a team to win games and work toward having greater confidence and being number one among their peers.

New article

I was featured in an article that came out in theTimes of the Island Magazine on Life Coaching in Southwest Florida. It is so exciting for me to get this type of acknowledgment from the field of Life Coaching. I was so honored to be included in the article titled – Life Coaches Encourage, Assist: Two Southwest Florida Practitioners Have Far-reaching Impact written by Ann O’Phelan.

It was such an honor being a part of this article with David Essel. Mr. Essel taught me how to brand myself from a therapist to a Life Coach.

Many thanks to the photographer Neila Damico who deserves photo credit for my photos for the article.

Below is the link for the article in Times of the Island Magazine.

https://toti.timesoftheislands.com/dm/2018/jul-aug#page/52

For more information on the difference between therapy and life coaching, click here to get the link.

https://williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/2013/06/life-coaching-and-therapy-difference.html

Coach Bill

Intuitive Breathing Method: Tips For Reducing Anxiety & Calm Your Mind within Minutes

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Fri, 08 Jun 2018 20:44:00 +0000

Breathing has been proven to help control the mind by stimulating the calming response and rewiring the brain. Practicing deep breathing can restructure the amygdala the brain’s center associated with emotions such as anxiety and fearful thoughts. So using breath work will enhance your mind and body and adding an intuitive component will significantly improve the effects even more.

Incorporating intuitiveness into your life can be more comfortable and more fulfilling than you think.

Using your intuition or gut instinct can enhance your life but also be a breath of fresh air.

Understanding Intuition

Intuition is a hunch, gut instinct, and the ability to listen to your internal messages without conscious reasoning or proof.

If you listen to your gut instincts, your knowledge and mindfulness will increase. Adding intuitiveness into your life is more natural and beneficial than you believe.

16 Benefits of Incorporating Intuitive Breathing

Balance your digestive system
Emotional stability improves
Calms an overactive mind
Creativity enhances
Decreases anxiety
Decreases response to pain
Enhances focus
Empowerment
Frees mind chatter
Happiness increases
Lowers blood pressure
Increases your intuitiveness
Increases mindfulness
Increases your oxygen level
Improves clarity of thought
Enhances confidence
Improves sleep
Improved instincts
Promotes inner peace
Positive mindset
Enhances the ability to connect with the moment
Reduces sensitivity
Reduces stress
Mini-meditation experience

4 Steps for Intuitive Breathing

Intuitive Breathing method will assist you in reducing anxiety, decreases stress, help to achieve an increased degree of mental calmness, clarity, centers you at the moment, and improve your connectedness with your body, mind, and immediate environment.

These steps help you to reduce your anxiety, have a calmer mind, and feel more connected to your body and mind follow these steps.

1. Inhale while counting to 4 in your head

2. Hold your breath for a count of 2

3. Exhale at a count of 4 in your head completely

4. Repeat at least a series of four (4) times to get the full effect.

You can use this method in any situation. You don't need a traditional meditation environment, close your eyes, sit in a lotus position, or chant.

You can perform this method while you are walking, standing, working, exercising, driving, at play, or during any daily routine.

Practice Tips

There are advantages to doing intuitive breathing sessions more than once a day.

1. The more you consistently practice this breathing method the more intuitive it will be, and you’ll find yourself doing it automatically.

2. The more you practice intuitive breathing in a set of four back to back, it will serve not only to calm your mind and relax your body but will also 4 series of this method turns into a mini-meditation session.

3. Practicing intuitive breathing also helps to restructure the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain’s center associated with anxiety, fearful thoughts, and stress.

Health Benefits of Mini-Meditation

Do a mini-meditation session in 10 seconds by using this intuitive breath method. Do a series of four breathing in a row. A series of 4 breathings connected will form a meditation session and enrich your body, energy, mind, and spirit just like an hour of traditional meditation would. Using intuitive breathing this way will also improve the neural connections in your brain giving you a calmer mind. Active intuitive breaths will decrease the size of your amygdala, making it less reactive as well as reducing fear and stress sensitivity.

Most of all intuitive mini-meditation saves you time that sometimes you don't have. To do a full traditional meditation session will cost you more than 60 minutes. A mini-meditation session will enhance your mental focus, increase your energy, and decrease your anxiety as well as clarify your thoughts. It is a win-win. Balance yourself in less than 30 seconds.

Final Thoughts

The more you practice this breathing method, the more your intuitiveness will become second nature, and you'll find yourself doing the breathing automatically.

If you are open to cultivating your intuitiveness, and follow your gut instinct rather than diluted thoughts that result in false emotions, you will achieve greater confidence, self-compassion, and unlimited definite possibilities.

Visit my website for more intuitive ideas and click here to download a free eBook for more information on this topic.
Coach Bill

Intuitive Living: 5 Tips for Enjoying Your Life More

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Fri, 16 Feb 2018 22:01:00 +0000

Are you tired of living under the pressure and stress of meeting everyone's expectations? Living by how others think you should, society expects, or from being caught up in a hectic and stressful lifestyle? Do you live your life pleasing others because you feel that others will love or like you if you please others? Has your life gotten so busy and complicated that you can't keep up with everything? Weary of the stress and anxiety of constant expectations?

If you answered yes, wouldn’t it be nice to have a simpler, calmer way of life? Ever consider trying an intuitive lifestyle?

Ways to Live “Intuitiveness”

Living a life of intuitiveness is a different way. The act of intuitive living is living based solely on what you sense from your gut instincts, without conscious reasoning, evidence, distorted or negative thoughts, or false emotions. It is living simply, running on your gut instinct. Living with your intuitiveness allows you to connect with your true self and increase your ability to experience your present rather than being fixated on what went wrong in your past or predicting what might happen in the future. Intuitive living is merely understanding something because of your senses rather than seeking facts or proof that may be tainted by what you have been told, inaccurate stories, learning, or false experiences. Rely on your gut instinct.

The art of living intuitively is asking yourself the question, “What is my sense of what is going on in myself or around me?”

Living intuitively makes you more mindful, alert, comfortable, creative, enlightened, focused, and fulfilled. Intuitive living allows you to understand and connect with your actual capabilities, talents, qualities, and authentic characteristics.

Adding intuitive living elements to your life is easier than you think. Here are five ways to live a more balanced, fulfilled, and mindful life, appreciate your environment, and be calmer in mind and body. Revel in all you are and have right now, instead of what you think you should have been or what others think you should have been. Focus on what you are now.

No matter with the element you seek to add below, the main question to ask yourself or your way into your intuitiveness, is "what is my sense of _____?" When you focus on your intuitive sense, then you're able to avoid diluted thoughts and resulting false emotions. It is a more authentic and healthier way to work through every day.

5 Tips to Add Intuitive Elements to Your Life

1. Connect with your environment

Increasing your time outdoors, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air, and taking in the beauty of nature can help you become calmer, happier, and more fulfilled. Being outdoors will help you feel more content and connected to yourself.

2. Engross yourself in life’s simple pleasures

Life should be involved in the comforts around you. When you conduct your daily tasks like showering, drinking coffee/tea, or eating. When showering, connect with the warmth of the water on your skin and the relaxation of your muscles. After pouring your coffee or tea first thing in the morning, hold the cup in both hands, focus on the warmth of the cup in your hands, savor the aroma, and breathe deeply. While eating, focus on and sense the colors, the texture of each bite, and the taste. Concentrating on the present enjoyment of your life will help you to be more in the moment. Then begin your day.

3. Journal daily

Writing is powerful. Another intuitive tool is writing to connect to the now and your inner senses. So, writing about your emotions, attitudes, ideas, insights, thoughts, memories, your personal stories, and what you are grateful for that day in a journal. Writing can be your way of recording your history. Your writing material allows you to take a break, focus on the moment, record it, and then not have to keep all the information in your head. You have to center on the moment to write intuitively.

Reading your journal later can empower your compassion for yourself. Journaling clears your mind because writing stores your knowledge and experiences, enhances your creativity, and helps you feel a sense of accomplishment.

Your journal entries don’t have to be long or complicated. Jot down a thank-you note, an experience, a quote that inspired you, or a positive event that happened.

4. Listen to music

Music can be a comfortable and compelling driver. Music lifts your spirits and can play a significant role in intuitive living. Make many different playlists of a song you like. Songs that boost your energy make you happy, or calm you down. So turn up the volume, sing out loud, or dance to connect with your body.

5. Carve out time for yourself

The world has become so busy and complicated. If you are like everyone else, technology has overtaken your time. You have less and less quiet time with yourself. You have immediate access to people, events, and even disasters all across the globe at your fingertips. It can be a blessing, but it can also cause you to disconnect from yourself, your family, your friends, and your immediate environment. Meaning you lose connection with the moment. The constant influx of information is eroding our personal and communication skills.

The solution to reducing stress and anxiety in these times is to set aside time every day to unplug from all your devices, including the TV and smartphone, and indulge in a quiet period. Treat yourself to time just being with yourself without distractions. It seems distractions keep interrupting your time, and you slip down your list of priorities and tasks, even with the best of intentions.

Spend the first few minutes of your intuitive session practicing intuitive breathing. Intuitive breathing will quiet your being and serve as a mini-meditation, reducing accumulated anxiety and stress and setting you up for your intuitive session. Daily time spent with yourself will help you enhance your relationship with yourself and bring you into a state of calmness and self-compassion.

Take Away

Adding intuitive elements to your living experience allows you to find balance, tune in to your energy, gain a better sense of yourself and your environment, and experience comfort, calmness, and a more uncomplicated existence. When you carve out time to focus inwardly on your gut, you open possibilities. Following the ways above, connecting with your gut instincts can help you untangle hurdles, reduce distractions, and gain an added degree of comfort, fulfillment, happiness, and a more significant sense of health.

Living intuitively takes practice. Understand that the effort and time you put into your practice of these elements are absolutely worth it.
Coach Bill

Connecting to Your Intuition: 5 Tips

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:37:00 +0000

The benefits of living intuitively are pretty extensive. Intuitive living can help you to become more aware, heightens your gut sense, increases mindfulness, and tunes you into your mind, body, and gut all at once.

The more you practice connecting with your gut instincts, the more productive and confident you will become.

Living intuitively is based merely on becoming more mindful of what you are sensing from your gut instincts without conscious reasoning, distorted or negative thoughts or false emotions.

The more you live each day intuitively will avail you to be more alert, comfortable, creative, and enlightened as well as fulfilled. The intuitive way of living becomes a way of life which is simpler and more affirming.

Connecting intuitively starts by getting in touch with your gut instincts and living in the moment. This connection will avail you the ability to know yourself better and understand all your capabilities, talents, qualities and authentic character which you were given innately.

Starter tips for connecting to your intuition?

A. Stay open and attuned to your gut instincts.

The fastest way to enter into intuitive living is to do something different. Breakaway from the norm. Bypass your thoughts, which tend to be biased over time and corrupt your feelings. Start with finding time on a daily basis to stop what you are doing and shut yourself off from the outside world. Connect with your gut, home of your intuitive senses.

B. Sit with yourself in calmness for 10 to 20 minutes every day.

5 More tips for connecting with your intuition

Thinking intuitive can help you to connect more with your gut instincts. This will support a thriving intuitive living. When you experience a distorted thought, false emotion or contrary core belief causing you to be dysfunctional in your life, do the following:

1. Use mindfulness, meditation or just quietness to settle yourself. Shut off devices that cause you to be distracted, such as a computer, phone, and TV. Pick a calm and quiet place in your home to practice intuitiveness. Make the space comfortable and relaxing with warm colors, fragrances and various mixtures of textures.

2. Go past your thinking, feeling and drop your awareness to your gut (home of your intuition).

3. While focusing on your gut, gather a sense of what is going on in yourself and your environment.

4. Once you have the sense, take that gut instinct you realized up to your heart. Now determine what your feeling is of the gut instinct you brought to your heart. Your resulting emotion is now your genuine feeling from your gut sense.

5. Then when you have your gut sense and real feeling, move both up to your mind. Form a thought about your gut sense and emotion. You will then have undistorted and authentic thinking.
For example, let's say a belief pops into your head like “you are not good enough.” Immediately drop into your gut and get a sense of that knowledge. The sense might be “I am good enough for me.”

Then take the sense “I am good enough for me” to your heart and determine what your feelings are about the sense which may be “I feel good and proud of being good enough.” Once you have the sense I am good enough and that you feel good and proud of yourself take both into your mind and produce new thoughts. The new thought could be “I am good enough.”

Getting in touch with your gut instincts will give you more clarity on what is genuine and authentic about yourself. This process will help you avoid distorted or negative beliefs that had formed growing up and the resulting false emotions from distorted or contrary opinions. Sometimes you can get stuck in a loop of distorted or negative views you have of yourself, and fake feelings based on those distorted or contrary opinions. This looping doesn’t allow you to acquire a real sense of who you are really.

Take away

Living an intuitive lifestyle begins with connecting to your intuition and being in the moment. Accomplishing it will increase your energy, focus, and mindfulness as well as calm your mind. Being in the moment will help you gain clarity from your senses on what is going on with you now and in your immediate environment. Carve 10 to 20 minutes a day to spend time with yourself. Don’t allow daily problems to throw you off balance and cause you to get stuck in your head or outside difficulties. Increase your fulfillment by connecting with your intuition.
Coach Bill

Visit my website for more information. Click here to download a free eBook.

Resentments Block Happiness & Self-energy

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 16:38:00 +0000

Tired of carrying resentments from past emotional wounds?

Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you treat yourself the same as you treat others? Do you feel like you are a stranger to yourself? The worse occurrence in life is when you become conscious that you have been holding resentments against yourself. Then you realize you have disconnected from yourself because you don't like yourself due to something that happened to you by another person, or something you did wrong.

You end up with a never-ending barrage of judgments, disappointment, and disgust in your mind along with strong emotions. At that point, you feel disconnected from yourself and refer to yourself as “someone that you use to know.”

It is a widespread experience to become estranged or disown yourself because you have judged you as “not good enough,” “not deserving” or “not worthy.” This occurs because certain life events you had gone through caused you to put a judgment on yourself as “handling the situation wrong or could not control or stop what happened.”

Has this scenario happened to you? Many carry bitterness for wrongs and situations which occurred while growing up and do not even realize that they are still holding on to them. Hurt, bitterness, ill will toward another or feelings of being wrong which is held onto over time is termed resentment.

Definition of Resentment

Definition of resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or thoughts of being wronged or hurt as a result of a situation which is a real hurt or imagined wrong.
When someone is wronged, what is the appropriate response? Resentment is a typical emotional reaction to being unfairly mistreated, emotionally hurt or harmed. Every one of us has been wronged by someone at one time or another in our lives or possibly many times.
Think about this; unrealistic or too high expectations are resentments under construction.

A Way to Change

To make a positive change in yourself, you have to recognize the baggage you are carrying from your past experiences. The energy it takes to hold to even just one resentment takes up all your strength. Over time the deep bitterness sinks further into your subconscious mind but remains active. Waiting for resentment or old hurt to come to realization only hurts you not the offender.

If your bitterness is direct at yourself, it only causes self-anger.

First, let go of all resentments you carry against yourself or others. Resentments you hold from past experiences depletes all your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. The objective of a resentment formation is the result of a hurt wish. The wish is that you want the person who hurt you is for that person to have something terrible happen to the offender or the offender hurts as bad as they hurt you.

Second, reconnect the lost relationship you have with you. Actively strive to revitalize a relationship with yourself. The benefit will generate new empowerment in your core being. This resurgence of personal power will add character, quality, and substance to your life. Success happens when you invest and nurture you. So invest in you and change yourself positively.

6 Tips Breaking Down Resentments Barriers

Now the primary question is how to dissolve resentments
Since a formed bitterness or resentment is a diluted and symbolic promise like “I will not move forward with my life until the offender hurts as bad as I was hurt, then how do I stop holding onto it.”

A promising method for letting go of resentments is to use the power of visualization. Visualization is intuitive powerful in discarding them. Here is an intuitive approach to assist you in accomplishing letting go.

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. You can sit or lay down. Whichever is most comfortable for you.

2. Close your eyes, to begin. Use intuitive breathing as a way to start the approach to clear your thoughts, become mindful, calm your mind and enhance your focus. Perform a series of 4 intuitive breathes. Once completed then continue to breathe deeply without the counting in each breath.

3. Now visualizes yourself standing at the end of a path. In front of you is a bottomless pit that will grab you and suck out all your energy to stay alive. Behind you is the path.

4. See at your feet bags, luggage or boxes that contain all the resentments you have accumulated over time.

5. Visualize yourself picking up each bag, each piece of luggage, or individual box, one at a time and pitch the bags into the pit. When you have thrown all into the hole, verbalize to yourself that you are never going to hold onto or emotionally revisit any of them ever.

6. Then turn around 180 degrees in your mind and walk away down the path in a new direction.

Take away

An important as you walk away on an emotional free journey, never doubt what you have accomplished and absolutely never look back over your shoulder. Either of these acts will cause you to fall off of your new direction.
Release yourself from old emotional wounds that do not serve you. You deserve to be free of bitterness and resentment.

Embark on a new emotional journey free of emotional wounds.

Visit the website for more information. Click here to download a free eBook.
Coach Bill

Self-Stories Keep Us Stuck: 5 Positive Resetting Tips

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Tue, 24 Oct 2017 20:49:00 +0000

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful and powerfully shape how we perceive life.

Stories that form in your mind about yourself over time play a dominant role in every aspect of your life. The story you tell yourself determines who you are, how you and others view you, your mindset, your moods, and influences much of how you think.

You carry stories about everything. You have stories about yourself, your career, relationships, family members, and life situations. Probably, you even have stories about how everything you experienced and how everyone affects you and your life.

Your stories are influential to how you act, belief, feel, react and think.

Positive content in your stories can make you healthy. It all depends on the value you give the content in your stories.

The harmful content of your stories which you hold over time becomes your truth can make you dysfunctional or physically sick.

On the one hand, if your narrative is predominantly negative, then it colors all you do negatively. Likewise, if your story you tell yourself is positive, then your outlook on everything is positive. Yes, you may have a mixture of both, but it is the percentage of negative versus positive which determines which way you will act, believe, feel, react and then. Your story carries your strongest beliefs which you may not be aware of them until you write and then read your story.

Another issue you have to look at when viewing your story is the emotional charge which is attached to it. The more intense your attachment to the emotional charge in your accounts, the more influence, and power your stories have over you how you act, feel, react, and think.

Writing your story out so you can objectively evaluate your narrative from a neutral point of view as another person would see it. You have a tendency not to be aware of the direction your story influences you and what power it has over why you do, what you say, how you react to situations and thoughts you create.

If you are like many, you may say “I don’t truly know in depth who I am.” Look at it this way. If you don’t know who you are as a person, then it is excellent. Then you don’t have to deconstruct how you are. All you have to do is create the story in your mind of who you want to be and have the narrative to tell yourself that will motivate you toward becoming fulfilled, satisfied, productive, and confident.

5 Positive & Productive Tips to Reset your Mental Stories

If you write your story and you find out that parts or all of your narrative have too much self-defeating or harmful influence and power in your life then it is simple, create a new story.

Writing is powerful and helps you gain insight into the stories you tell yourself and others.

Here are positive and productive tips on how to discover what your story is and a way to re-author the account of your story to help you determine how you want to be. Therefore you can live a more mindful, fulfilled, and satisfied.

#1 Write on what is your current story you tell yourself about you. (Important, include how you think about your beliefs, your confidence, your feelings, your moods, your abilities, your character, your talents, how you fit in your social life and so on)

#2 Next read through and evaluate which parts of your story are right, correct or sound, and which are harmful, untrue, dangerous, or toxic parts of your story. Also, determine which parts of your story have the most influence on you.

#3 Determine in the evaluation process which parts you focus on and feed more.

#4 Start recreating a new narrative by thinking about what part of your story do you want to keep and which parts you need to change.

#5 Lastly, re-author your story. Sit down and write a new narrative for yourself. Within this new narrative, write about who you will be as a person. What you will tell yourself about yourself. Describe your new beliefs, intentions how you will act, how you will think, behave and feel, what are your skills, abilities, what new mindset you will have (positive and productive), view of your future.

Permission is Power

Also within your new story, it is essential that you write within the body of your story that you give yourself permission to accept this new narrative in all aspects of your being. Meaning believes the story to your fullest. Make it your truth.

Take Away

Once your new story is completed, commit to reading it every day for the first 30 days and then put your story into practice in every aspect of your story. The more you practice it, the more skillful you will become at it. Over time, you will master your story, and it will become you. Through practice and believing in it, the story will become a part of you.
Coach Bill

Visit my website for more information, articles and videos. Click here to download a free eBook

Positive Life Statements: 5 Tips for Attaining Positive Thinking

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Tue, 03 Oct 2017 20:58:00 +0000

Everyone is dissatisfied with negative thoughts. Who won't be? Everyone strives for change and creating happy, confident and productive thoughts. There are many articles about how to turn thoughts on or off, from negative to positive and sad to happy. One technique does not work for everyone, and there is no magic pill in the world that can accomplish this necessary task. Change of thoughts is a personal endeavor.

Changing Stream of Thought

So, how do you change your stream of thoughts? Well, there are four keys to accomplishing a significant this task in the way you can be more beneficial in altering your old thinking patterns forever.

Recognition, understanding, and consistency, as well as follow-through, are the most critical factors of changing the mind. If you don't recognize the content of the thoughts which are blocking your motivation, fulfillment, and satisfaction, then nothing will help. If you don't understand then confusion reigns. If you can't be consistent, then don't start if you do not follow through, game over.

The second most crucial factor is belief. If you don't believe it is possible it will never happen.

The most significant understanding that can be gained is the mind is a powerful influencer of content and flavor of human thoughts.

5 Tips for Attaining Positive Thinking

Tip #1:

The first step is to recognize the thoughts which you harbor in your subconscious mind that are negative, unfulfilling, and not serving you. Write down these thoughts on a piece of paper. Title your list "my negative thoughts."

Examples of some negative thoughts which you might always be repeating to yourself in your head that might show up on your list:

I am unhappy with my life

I am not good enough

I am undeserving of love

I am unworthy of a productive life

I am always doing things wrong

Study your list once completed. Ponder your list and determine whether you want to continue to think these thoughts or not.

Tip # 2

Next, create a new list of self-statements you would like to take the place of your old thoughts on your above list. Make sure your original list of self-statements are positive and productive. These new self-messages would show up in your consciousness conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list simple. Write down, no more than ten (10) self-statements you think should be worked on first.

Note, every self-statement should start with “you deserve.” Every new message generated from self-talk turns into thought, positive or negative. If you start your statement with “I am” the wish after it tells your brain that you already have it, your mind sees no need to work toward completion. But if you start a new self-statement with “you deserve the understanding is that you do not have it yet and your mind will focus on making it happen and become your truth.

Examples are:

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to be good enough

You deserve to be deserving of loving relationships

You deserve to be worthy of a productive life

You deserve to make reasonable and appropriate decisions for yourself and your life.

Tip #3

Then, set up a daily schedule on your calendar to repeat your new list daily. To keep you personally accountable, commit to verbalizing your list every day. Have a time set every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime for thirty (30) days. During each regularly scheduled time, read your list four (4) times in a row. Your mind is most influenced just before you close your eyes to go asleep and first thing when you wake up. Why is that? Think about it. Most people think of negative things right before they go to sleep.

Examples of negative statements are: what went wrong today, what I will face tomorrow, what I didn’t like today and how do I fix the mistakes I made today. Then their subconscious mind mills over those issues all the while they are asleep. When upon waking, and before getting out of bed, they are already afraid of things they have to do during the day. Afraid that situations will go wrong, or bad things will happen.

On the other hand, if you feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts, then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you are asleep. In the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest those positive statements you spoke. Then your subconscious will seek to associate with positiveness in your life.

Another time the mind is most influenced is when you wake up. Start your mind off first thing with positive and productive self-statements which will inspire what the mind will focus on all day long.

Tip #4

Discipline through repetition is the fourth tip. Practice, practice and practice your list, some more. The more you practice your list, the quicker your self-statements will embed themselves in the subconscious mind and become your truth.

Being told something over and over again by someone your emotionally attached to or when you're repeating some thought constantly over time in your mind is how the old negative statements enter into your subconscious mind initially. Therefore through continuous practice, new self-statements will replace the older ones and be installed into your subconscious mind.

Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic level athlete. The way to reach his goal is by practicing his or her skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is correct about changing thoughts.

The more you repeat, repeat and repeat some more, your new self-statements, now termed Positive Life Statements, the quicker your new thoughts will stream into your consciousness without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #5

The last and most crucial understanding to gain is the connection is the part emotions play in this whole process. Emotional connectedness determines importance. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place and show up over and over in your thought stream.

Why is emotional connectedness so essential? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you, and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotional attachment to that person. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached to (healthy or unhealthy) or you love can produce significant hurt that cuts to your core. Someone important to you is much more important to you than someone you are emotionally unattached with.

The Secret

To be successful at changing your unhealthy thought patterns follow the five tips above. Make your list (no more than ten (10) positive life affirmations at a time) repeat them at scheduled times. While you say, your self-statements attach an emotion to each as you repeat them. The stronger the connected feeling, the faster your self-statements will be accepted, and they will stay with you longer.

Positive Life Statements are essential to changing unhealthy thought patterns.

Take Away

You can't change what you do not know. So the secret to changing your mind is recognition. You are followed by consistency, emotional commitment and finally practice.
Coach Bill

Mind Code is a Powerful Change Tool

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Mon, 31 Jul 2017 15:59:00 +0000

Ever wondered how your mind works?

Each one of us has questions about how our thoughts form. What generates them? Why our thoughts just happen and seem to have a mind of their own?

To know how you think the way you do would decrease the influence your thoughts have on you and increase your personal power.

To know how your thoughts are the start of discovering their origin - your core beliefs. Core beliefs then feed content into the formation of your thoughts and then they manifest into your actions, behaviors, and emotions as well as your intuitive nature.

To know all of this would give you greater confidence? Learning how you can change the way you think, like from negative and self-defeating to positive and productive thoughts, would also give you more hope and strength.

Start empowering yourself today. Shift your life by changing the way your thoughts form.

Take the next step

Click on the link below and listen to a free mini-lecture on mind code. The mind code mini-lecture will explain and give you great insight into how your thoughts form and how your mind process works.

Click Here to Listen to a Free Mind Code Mini-Lecture

Coach Bill

Make Dissociation Productive & Positive

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 13 Jul 2017 21:34:00 +0000

Dissociation is the most creative survival power the human mind possesses. It can help a person get through horrible situations, emotional hurt, physical pain, and life-threatening experiences.

Dissociation, when enforced if needed, allows a person to escape the reality he or she is in, not be aware of the hurt, pain or threat which is happening at the moment, and numb or ignore the overwhelming physical and emotional discomfort. It is so misunderstood.

Helping professionals have designated this PTSD symptom as negative, a part of a disease and a character weakness. Nothing is further from the truth.

Why does everything associated with survival viewed as negative? Once out of abuse, trauma or combat situations or environments and the survival aspect is no longer needed, can't post-traumatic symptoms be looked at as productive and positive?

Dissociation is Normal and Natural

Dissociation is a healthy and natural beneficial reaction to life-threatening situations, such as abuse, trauma, or combat situation(s). Dissociation is an after-effect of experiencing harrowing experiences. Dissociation is a protective adaptive skill that allows anyone to avoid hurt or pain mentally, emotionally, physically or living in an untenable environment as well as a situation.

The psychological meaning of dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, and sense of identity by focusing intently on a spot or object to escape, when the "whole" of you are threatened with harm, hurt and pain on a mental, emotional, physical or spiritual level.

Therefore, dissociation is the ability to instinctively, and creatively focus to mentally / emotionally block out the present to escape and survive what is happening in reality. Probably, since abusive, traumatic, and combat experiences are viewed as negative, horrible and overwhelming the resulting symptoms are seen as negative, and terrible.

Dissociation is misunderstood by many professionals causing the general public to fear it, and survivors to be confused by it.

Tips on Making Dissociation Productive and Positive

Tip #1 Dissociation does not have to be negative.

Dissociation is an adaptive survival skill. It saves a victim's lives. It has long been conveyed to survivors as bad, negative, pathological or maladaptive when not in trauma. But the truth is dissociation can be a positive, productive and powerful adaptative skill. Dissociation is the ability to divert focus inward, adapt, and adjust quickly to survive any overwhelming and possible life-threating situation.

Tip #2 Dissociation can be a Productivity Tool

Dissociation, if no longer feared, embarrassed, cultivated, and practiced, can be used as a productive focus tool. When combined with other elements like intuitive breathing method and mindfulness dissociation increases in power. All three combined increases productiveness significantly. Dissociation can result in increased task completion, for better performance in classwork, job, and school, for sports performance improvement, and job projects and general health improvements to aid in improved daily function.

Tip #3 Make Dissociation Positive

To make dissociation positive you have to change your mindset. Change the way you view dissociation. You have to change your mindset from viewing dissociation as a pathology symptom to seeing dissociation as productive and as an advantage.
Once you make the change then practice your mindset change a lot.

Tip #4 Positive and Productivity Tips

Here are some symptoms of dissociation combined with how you can change each to be positive and productive.

⦁ A feeling of being disconnected from yourself

(Make your experience productive and positive by reconnecting with yourself and increasing
your relationship with yourself)

⦁ Problems with handling intense emotions

(Make your experience productive and positive by embracing your emotions, instead of ignoring them or disconnecting from them. It is better to learn how to experience your feelings rather than running from or numbing them out. Emotions are only painful if you believe they are.)

⦁ Sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason.

(Make your experience productive and positive by learning your triggers. Recognizing
your triggers reduce your inappropriate response to them and how to neutralize their
power and influence over you.)

⦁ Depression or anxiety problems, or both

(Make your experience productive and positive by breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness, being in the moment and learning intuitive breathing to reduce depression and anxiety.)

⦁ Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real.

(Make your experience productive and positive by checking out your environment by asking yourself these questions. What is my sense of what is happening? Then determine if your gut sense is real or unreal? Is it true or false? Is it productive or unproductive? Your answers will help you focus and achieve clarity in your thoughts.)

⦁ Memory problems such as flashbacks, forgetting crucial personal information and significant memory lapses

(Make your experience productive by journaling thoughts and feelings and taking notes on your memories as they come to you. Take your information and check them against your history as you know it to be)

⦁ Other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems, like forgetting crucial personal information or wandering thoughts

(Make your experience positive and productive by remaining mindful and connected to the moment. Find a point in the present that will assist you in focusing your attention on what you are doing, therefore, enhancing the ability to stay present.)

⦁ Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way.

(Make your experience positive and productive by reducing impulsiveness, sense of acting and being mindful. Ask if what I am doing will help?)

⦁ Identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that anyone else would usually find offensive or shocking.

(Make productive by checking your beliefs and change the one which is harmful. Rescript your identity into the identity you want to have now. Your traumatic experience changed your character, so it is your power to correct it in your favor. Your personality has a right to change.)

⦁ A feeling as though a negative attitude is your default.

(Make your experience positive and productive by deciding an appropriate mindset toward dissociation.)

Subtypes of Dissociation

More Information: Two Subtypes of Dissociation

There are subtypes of dissociation many mistaken as dissociation. Both of these subtypes of dissociation are byproducts of experiencing intense anxiety as a result of experiencing abuse, trauma, or combat events. These both cause self-judging of yourself and your environment. Severe anxiety, doubt, stress, second-guessing, and overthinking result from living through life-threatening experiences.

It is essential to understand if you are in a state of self-judgment, you are not in a state of self. You are therefore losing connection with yourself and your surroundings. Both subtypes can develop as a result of a lesser degree of experiences and without the development of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

1. Depersonalization

Recent research evaluating the relationship between Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and dissociation has suggested that there is a dissociative subtype of PTSD, defined primarily by symptoms of derealization (i.e., feeling as if the world is not real) and depersonalization (i.e., feeling as if you not real).

An ‘out-of-body’ or depersonalization experience during which individuals often see themselves observing their own body from above can create the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’ and is typically accompanied by an attenuation of the emotional experience.

2. Derealization

Similarly, states of derealization during which individuals experience that ‘things are not real; it is just a dream’, creates the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’. Derealization decreases a person's emotional intensity to life or helps create a state of emotional numbness.

Questions to Enhance Enlightenment about Making Dissociation Positive and Productive

The following ten questions can help you further overcome dissociation. Recognizing your mind and body reactions can reduce the power, and of the dissociation. You can become more mindful, more intuitive, more positive, and make better decisions to be more productive. Your answers can help you to be more compassionate and create a positiveness toward yourself.

1. Ask yourself "What is your mind telling you?"

2. What is your body telling you?

3. What is your feeling telling you?

4. What is your intuition telling you?

5. What are you running from?

6. What are your top 5 fears about myself?

(Break down your list from top 5 into your top 3. Then evaluate your top 3 by answering the following questions; Are my biggest fears true or false? Is it real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

7. What are your top 5 fears about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the biggest fear? Then evaluate by answering – Is my biggest fear - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

8. What are your top 5 core beliefs about myself?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then pick which is the number one core belief about yourself? Then evaluate this #1 core belief by answering the following – Is it - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

9. What are your top 5 core beliefs about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then pick which is the number one core belief about life? Then evaluate by answering – Is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

10. How can I take what is going on inside of me or in my environment and make it positive and productive?

Takeaway

Making dissociation positive and productive can be achieved after you are no longer are in an abusive, traumatic, or combative situations or surroundings as well as willing and ready to shift your point of view and change your mindset.

Coach Bill

Tips for Challenging Negative Thoughts & Self-Lies

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sat, 06 May 2017 16:06:00 +0000

Everyone is troubled with negative thoughts or cognitive lies about themselves or situations or abilities at some point in their lives.

When the brain goes into a negative mode, it can eat away your positiveness, productiveness, creativity, and general fulfillment.

Negative thoughts are harmless unless you believe in them. In fact, believing in negative thoughts permits harmful content more influence and power over how you act, believe, feel, react, and think.

Whether aware of it or not the average person thinks anywhere from 11,000 to 70,000 thoughts or more per day. Amazingly, 85 percent of people's thoughts are negative. Repetitious negative thinking trains the brain to focus more on the negative rather than positive thoughts. It is human nature to focus on the negative thoughts to fix them or make things right and take positive thoughts for granted. To be more positive and productive negative thinking, ruminations and cognitive lies have to be turned around by taking away their power, and you accomplish this task through confronting or challenging them.

The essential elements to turning around negative thoughts, ruminations, and cognitive lies in positive and productive thoughts are as follows: 1) identifying and recognizing the negative core beliefs which are generating your thoughts. Two, challenge those negative beliefs by denouncing them. Three, replacing those negative beliefs (aka mind code errors) with definite ideas which are more accurate and correct beliefs. Shifting negative beliefs into positive ones end in a more positive inner voice also.

If negative thought, ruminating, and cognitive lies go unchecked then the result could be a thought addiction, stronger negative thoughts, and influential cognitive lies that turn into fact and truth while causing false emotions, and inappropriate behaviors or acting out.

Distorted thoughts do not start at the thought level. If cognition is attempted to be corrected at the thought level, then the mark has been missed. Thoughts are a byproduct of what is called negative core beliefs that are generated from one's mind code. Mind code is the accumulation of data accepted from life experiences and situations that turn into self-messages (aka core beliefs). If core beliefs are negative, then one’s inner voice is negative.

Personal Philosophy Restructuring is a coaching method based on the understanding that your mind code influences the creation of core beliefs or self-messages which feed content to your inner voice. Your inner voice then produces and governs the formation of thoughts which determines and manifests in emotions and behaviors.

Look at it in a different way. Data gathered from life experiences and situations are accepted and stored in the subconscious mind (mind code, core beliefs, core values, and core expectations). Subconscious data become conscious once the data passes into conscious awareness at the inner voice phase and thoughts are actually formed and generated through your personal voice statements. At this point, no one or the outside world can see or know what is occurring in your head. Thoughts influence and govern the production of behaviors, emotions, and reactions which everyone can understand.

So, when you change your core beliefs to positive and productive which will drastically interrupt the sequence just described resulting in altering your thoughts, and subsequently, you act and react differently as well as feel different.

Therefore, if the data you absorb (aka mind code) from your life experiences are critical, hurtful, judging, lies, harmful, or painful your core beliefs will be self-critical, hurtful, self-judging, lies, cynical, and full of pain and the end result will be that your behaviors tend to be inappropriate and not helpful in situations. Also, your emotions will be false based on distorted data.

What can be done?
Negative thoughts and self-lies are the results of formed negative beliefs. When you don’t have all of the knowledge of what is happening to you or why our thoughts are so distorted, skewed, and negative, you have a tendency to believe them, and they become your self-truths. Then your life becomes a burden and ultimately unfulfilling.

Empowering yourself with the first step of identifying and recognizing is essential. Here are tips to help you to allow yourself by challenging your core beliefs. To be empowered you have to face your negative thought and cognitive lies directly.

How to Challenge Your Negative Thoughts and Cognitive Lies

Answering these questions will empower you in discovering the truth of your core beliefs which are generating negative thoughts & cognitive lies.

How do I know if my thoughts are based on accurate and truthful core beliefs?

What evidence or fact do I have to support this belief?

How can I do to test my belief to find out if it’s accurate?

Do I have a trusted friend, loved one, or family member who knows me well enough that I can check out my beliefs with?

Is this belief helpful, positive, or productive to my life?

Are there other ways that I can believe in myself or life situations?

Am I too critical, judging, negative, or punitive toward myself?

From my history, who else or what situations contributed to me believing this way about myself?
Are my actions, feelings, and thinking really under my control?

Am I overthinking my beliefs about myself or over expecting to the point of being disappointed in my performance?

What would I say to another I was emotionally attached to expressing the same beliefs about themselves in this situation?

Do I always view the best in others and the worst in myself?

Am I doubting who I believe I am or holding myself to unreasonable standards?

Are my beliefs (self-messages) I have about me - 1. true or false, 2. real or illusion, 3. productive or unproductive, or 4. healthy or unhealthy?

You can challenge your negative core beliefs and self-lies with the questions above by making a list of all the beliefs you have toward yourself. This can be hard, because some beliefs have become so distorted, so ingrained, and so deeply embedded in your subconscious mind that they have become your self-truths, therefore, you do not recognize them as a lie, or you challenge their validity.

Take Away

When working on discovering your negative core beliefs and listing them try to have a positive mindset, be mindful, open, and consider all possibilities. Merely doing this exercise can help you to understand why you act, feel think, and react toward yourself and in situations the way you do.

The belief list can show you which of your beliefs are not true, which were based on made-up judgments from others, which are illusions you have about you from others, which are not productive and the ones that are exceptionally mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy. So you don’t have to own them anymore. Detach and discard the beliefs that don’t serve you and replace them with strong beliefs that will empower you and enhance your life.

Visit my website and click here to download a free eBook for more information on this topic.
Coach Bill

Tips for Protecting Personal Energy

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 18:47:00 +0000

Living mindfully is about being connected with and living in the moment. Everything that you believe, view, touch, hear, feel, and think is made up of energy. Negative energy, as well as positive energy, can be accumulated and held onto causing dysfunction, self-destructive emotions, inappropriate behavior and a general negative overview of self.

It is well known that it takes more energy to disavow yourself of something than allowing yourself something. The loss of personal energy drains your power and creates a hole within yourself.
Human beings do not tolerate empty holes. So seeking a replacement becomes (good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or addictive) the primary objective.

Knowledge comes from experiencing your energy at the moment and not getting lost in the past or projecting into the future. When you get lost in the past or focusing on predicting the future all your energy depletes due to the amount of energy it takes to be in more than one place at a time. Meaning, on the one hand, attempting to live in the moment and focused on fixing what went wrong in the past make your energy vulnerable. On the other hand, trying to live your life in the present and being focused on predicting what might or might not happen in the future also causes your energy to evaporate.

Many times in your life you modulate in and out of periods of energy loss. Why? You do not allow or permitted to protect and enhance your own energy for one or more reasons. Why? Because you were never allowed or given permission to think of yourself first.

To protect your own energy, here are some tips for you to help you recharge your energy and become a stronger person.

Nineteen Permissions to Recharge Your Energy

19 permissions you should adopt to be healthy and have a good supply of personal energy.

You are allowed by treating yourself first

You are allowed to protect yourself

You are allowed to change beliefs

You are allowed to believe in yourself

You are allowed to be committed to yourself first

You are allowed to spend a day with yourself

You are allowed to not to fulfill others expectations

You are allowed to not share yourself

You are allowed to not seek others validation

You are allowed to do nothing and recharge

You are allowed to spend time alone

You are allowed to sleep in

You are allowed to find your voice and express opinions

You are allowed to move forward

You are allowed to stop holding onto people, place, and things that don't serve you

You are allowed to embrace yourself

You are allowed to change

You are allowed to be mindful

Take Away

If you are not mindful of what you are allowed or personally have permission to do with yourself or in life you could lose more than just your energy. The most important aspect of yourself is what you believe about yourself. Not whether someone else is better than you or how you compare to them. Diverting your energy from yourself to obsessing what others expect, think or want from you sucks up your energy you need to live mindfully.

Turn it all around. Know what you are permitted to do or not to do. Take the ones you are not allowed to do for yourself and change by giving yourself permission.

Live a fulfilled and healthy by enjoying life at the moment. The moment is all you have, and that is real.

Visit my website and click here to download a FREE eBook

Coach Bill

4 Tips on Turning Thoughts Positive By Changing Beliefs

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 20:45:00 +0000

Negative core beliefs create anxiety, critical self-talk, unrealistic thoughts, stress, and worry. All of these mentioned are a negative thinking pattern that can be contributing to your anxiety, critical self-talk, stress, worry, and panic issues. Negative thinking tends to be a learned habit that can impact your emotions, thinking, and physical health. Since negative thinking typically develops over time due to emotional, environmental, and situational triggers, it can be unlearned and replaced with more positive beliefs and views when the unknown influence of core beliefs are recognized.

Turn Your Negative Thinking Around by Changing Beliefs

Turning your negative beliefs around involves recognizing, assessing their truth, and resetting your beliefs by replacing them with new ones.

First, start by recognizing how often you pay attention to and worrying about your thoughts throughout the day. It may help to start a thought journal and record your thoughts on a piece of paper as they come up. Knowing your thoughts will open you up to realizing your belief’s power and influence they have over how you act, feel, react, and think.

Secondly, look at your beliefs behind your thoughts and ask if they are realistic and truthful beliefs of who you are. Try to look at the other side of the beliefs, which results in negative thoughts. For example, if you believe that others won’t accept you due to your lack of skills, ask yourself if that is a necessarily true reflection of you really are? Do people only accept those who are entirely flawless? Do you really want to be friends with someone who can’t accept you for who you are? By reality-checking and disputing your beliefs, you diminish their power and influence. Checking the validity of your beliefs and doubting their truthfulness may begin to help you to take on a different and more positive perspective.

Thirdly, determine where or who these negative beliefs came from. Is what you believe about yourself is coming from your true self, or was it given to you through another’s critical statement or perception? For example, are you not good enough? If your beliefs did not come from you or are not a real vision of who you then denounce them out loud to yourself. Once their falsehood is realized and denounced, take them out of your mind, eliminate them from your belief system.

Lastly, replace these negative beliefs, expectations, perceptions, thoughts, and worries with more realistic beliefs, thoughts, and positive statements about yourself.

For instance, you may begin to think of yourself in a better or more positive light. Not everyone will accept your beliefs, but your opinion is the most valuable. Know that you are working on becoming a more compassionate, fulfilled, positive, and self-assured person. When you have made the shift in your beliefs, that will eventually become your truths, and you will realize more acceptance in yourself. In this way, you know you are based on your new core beliefs.

Take Away

Accept that your thoughts are a byproduct of your beliefs and generated from your subconscious mind. Change the content of your beliefs from negative to positive. Once your beliefs are changed and reflect a true representation of who you really are, then your thoughts will automatically adjust to benefit you. You possess the ability to change your beliefs and have a more fulfilled life.

Turn your thoughts are by understanding how your beliefs influence your world. Learn more at my website and click here to download eBook on core beliefs

Coach Bill

Powers of Thought: Thought Addiction Assessment

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 22:19:00 +0000

Do you feel like you know your mind well? Are you in control of your mind? Do you think your mind works for you? If you answered is no to all 3 questions then you may be working for your mind and doing, thinking and feeling things you don’t want to. You just might be living by thoughts generated by your subconscious mind. If you keep giving your power over to your subconscious mind, then your subconscious mind might lead you to another addiction.

Have you had an addiction of some sort and find it hard to stay on your sobriety path or resist relapse thoughts?

Thought Addiction

Thought addiction (TA) is a hidden addiction that affects millions of Americans every day. TA affects their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Many addiction professionals work on the visible addictions, not the invisible one. Thought Addiction can cause sleepless nights, addictions, anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, stress, digestive problems, health issues, troubling relationships, doubt, tight muscles, headaches and yes even death (suicidal thoughts)?

Most people enter into an addictive pattern to numb out pain (emotional, mental, physical or spiritual), ignore or reduce perceived health issues, (like anxiety, panic or stress), to enhance perceived personality weaknesses, stop a constant looping of negative thoughts, or a general feeling out of control. Example: “If I do ______ (blank) then I will gain control.” Initially, there is an experience of relief from painful feelings, inappropriate behaviors, distorted thoughts or emotional hurts. But repetitive engagement soon becomes addictive and then toxic.

Definition of Thought Addiction

The definition of thought addiction is the development and attaching to an intrusive, repetitive habitual thinking pattern to one thought or set of beliefs to change yourself to be accepted, improve your performance of a skill to be good enough or both.

Thought addiction is the act of consciously allowing, feeding, entertaining or repetitively returning to a negative, critical, harmful or destructive thought over and over again. These types of thoughts or sets of thoughts that do not serve you decrease your confidence wipes out your self-esteem or worth and has long range damaging results to your health and life. What accentuates this type of thought(s) or set of thoughts to form is when the thought(s) come out of a bad situation where emotionally charged statements come from someone or groups of people you want to be emotional attachment too. If you have negative thoughts that were generated by yourself about not being good enough or being accepted surface, it makes the situation worse.
Examples would be “I can’t be social or feel comfortable without drinking,” “I will not be acceptable by this group unless I act a certain way,” or “I can’t function through the day without using drugs.”

A thought addiction depletes every system of the human body. Repetitive and unhealthy thoughts can drain your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual energy, leaving you with a feeling of no control, emptiness, inability to function, feeling not good enough or feeling less than.

Thought addiction follows the same rules and progression of all other dependencies and destructive habits. Think about this statement “every addiction starts with a thought” no matter what kind of addiction.

A thought addiction or unhealthy thought looping can cause you to seek and expand into other more toxic or damaging habits. Addictions to a substance, food, exercise, emotions or behaviors are an indication you no longer love yourself. When self-love evaporates, an empty space occurs, and an addiction fills that space.

Consider this idea. Every addiction starts with a thought. For example: “I am not good enough, so I need something to help me” “This substance (thought, emotion, or behavior) will make me perform better, be more social, fit in, mentally escape, feel better or make me not feel at all.”

Once a person becomes sober, the original thought, which caused him or her to use, surfaces again because it was not dealt with or shifted, so relapse is possible. TA can also be the aftereffect of surviving any abusive, overwhelming or traumatic life event.

Forms of thoughts you can become addicted to:

· Anxious Thoughts
· Compulsive Thoughts
· Depressive Thoughts
· Diluted Thoughts
· Fearful Thoughts
· Obsessive Thoughts
· Negative Thoughts
· Ruminating Thoughts
· Self-defacing Thoughts
· Self-defeating Thoughts
· Self-limiting Thoughts
· Self-sabotaging Thoughts
· Sexual Thoughts
· Substance Thoughts
· Suicidal Thoughts
· Unwanted Thoughts
· Worrisome Thoughts

It is essential to understand the influence and power a thought can have over you. A severe idea can affect your mental and physical health, as well as becoming mentally overwhelming. As you know thoughts can be disruptive, destructive, and harmful. These types of thoughts can go astray and grow very harmful, vast, and even toxic. When caught in a thought addiction it can seem as though your thoughts have a mind of their own and you feel as though you have absolutely no control over them.

Thought Addiction Assessment

Here is an assessment to help you to recognize if you are headed into or have a thought addiction. Stop and take this assessment to find out if you have an unhealthy relationship with a thought or set of thoughts. This assessment will assist in identifying and learning if you are in danger.

Take out a piece of paper. On the left side of the sheet, write down the numbers 1 through 20. As you read each question, put “Yes” or “No” next to the corresponding question number.

1. Do you periodically or continually think about a thought or set of thoughts that alter your mood negatively?

2. Do you have difficulty concentrating due to adverse, painful or seemly inappropriate thought(s)?

3. Do you have an inability to participate or function in your daily tasks because of a failure to stop a thought(s)?

4. Does a thought or set of thoughts keep you from feeling?

5. Is your thought content over 75% negative or do not serve you toward your ability to perform?

6. Does a thought or set of thoughts feel like they block you from succeeding?

7. Does a thought or set of thoughts keep you from investing in relationships?

8. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to self-sabotage your efforts to be happy, satisfied or fulfilled?

9. Do you have a thought or set of thoughts that cause you to behave in ways you do not want to (acting out, emotionally reactive, self-harm or addictive behaviors)?

10. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to reject yourself or not like yourself?

11. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause sleepless nights or wake you at night?

12. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to overuse drugs (legal or illegal)?

13. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to under eat or restrict or overeat or binge on food?

14. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to over or under compensate in life situations?

15. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to hate or reject all or a single part of your body?

16. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to deprive yourself of something?

17. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to say “No” to social invitations or interact with family?

18. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to perform poorly at your job, school, social interactions or relationships?

19. Do you call off from work because you think you are too “depressed” to work or just not good enough?

20. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to be consumed mentally during the day?

Scoring the Assessment

Once you have completed all 20 questions on the assessment, add up all the “Yes” answers.

If you have four or less “Yes” answers, you are experiencing normal thinking. Your thoughts do not interfere too much with your life.

If you have answered five to eight of the questions “Yes” then the assessment indicates a low level or episodic of habitual thought looping. You could experience troublesome periodic thought looping. To gain a deeper understanding, you may want to review each question you answered yes, one issue at a time, to increase your knowledge and what you might want to do to change your thinking.

If you answer from nine to fourteen questions with “Yes,” then you are probably experiencing moderate thought looping and may be affecting you on a regular basis. Maybe you should address all the issues in each question that you answered yes and look at your core beliefs behind them. If you find negative core beliefs and change them eventually will change the way you think.

If you answered fifteen or more questions with “Yes,” then you are in the high range or addictive range. You are probably going through feeling as though you have loss of control of your thoughts, experiencing distorted thoughts, obsessive, ruminating thoughts and your ability to function effectively is probably decreased. Your thinking is possibly compromised. You should seek help and support to reduce their effects on your life. There is a good possibility that you could become more addicted if you do not take action. You might begin to substitute or act out your thought addiction by seeking secondary addictions with substances, drugs (legal or illegal), emotions, food, exercise, as inappropriate relationships as well as destructive or self-harming behaviors to subdue the constant looping.

Take Away

This assessment can be your first step in understanding barriers in your mind that keep you from being confident and productive. Thought addiction assessment can help you identify problem area of thinking you need to address so you can work to regain control over your thoughts.

Mind coaching is a way to change the way you think by discovering the roots of your thinking and how to successfully move toward positiveness.

Coach Bill
For more information visit my website and click here to download a free eBook to help you understand more of why you think the way you do.

6 Tips for Breaking Mind Barriers

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Thu, 12 Jan 2017 21:35:00 +0000

Everyone strives to create more power in themselves and their lives. Yet there seem to be things that stop them from accomplishing what is wanted due to unidentified barriers.

Here are barriers to stop, and tips on how to effect positive change.

1. Stop letting the expectations of others govern your life

It’s not what others expect of you, it’s what you expect of yourself that determines your path.

It’s your expectations that are what’s best for you and your life.

2. Stop focusing on what went wrong in the past

It’s not your past which determines your future course.

It’s the substance of your actions at the moment which determines your future.

3. Stop wavering on decisions about what you want

You will be stuck where you are until you decide where you want to go.

Make a concrete positive action plan for what you want and create small steps to follow to get there. Take one step at a time until you complete all the steps in your action plan.

Take accountability for completing your action plan.

4. Stop trying to be and do everything perfectly

Set a new mindset to allow yourself to do your best in everything you do.

Acquire new skills to help you do your best. Practice the new skills until you are more confident and reach a level of mastery.

Be comfortable in moving forward even though you may have doubts.

5. Stop avoiding issues due to negative beliefs

Stop ignoring issues because you believe you can’t make them right.

Your core beliefs actually determine how you act, think and feel.

Create new beliefs and passionately work to make them come true.

6. Stop looking at the negative things about yourself or negative situations in your life

If you focus on the past you remain in the past.

Look at what you have not what you don’t have.

Identify what makes you fulfilled and satisfied at the moment and multiply them.

Appreciate the moment because that is all you have.

Take Away

The power of positiveness is achieved by looking at what you have at the moment, not what you do not have or what someone else has more of. Positive thinking, success, and fulfillment arise from creating positive beliefs about yourself and putting positive actions into your life.

Focus on yourself. Identifying and practice the good aspects of your abilities, character, and qualities which will produce an increase in your confidence and power. Follow through even though at first, you don’t think you deserve or have them. Live in the moment and be mindful.

The more you practice being who you want to be, the more you will be.
Coach Bill
For more information go to the website and click here to download a free eBook.

6 Tips for Building Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 20:16:00 +0000

You’re Not Born With Confidence, You acquire it

Forget everything you have learned about confidence. Confidence is not innate, meaning no one is born with it. Even though it might seem that others are lucky enough to be born with confidence, it is not so.
The formation of confidence is a combination of many elements. Having others around that role model confidence while growing up; a firm belief you deserve to have it, and opportunities to practice it in a supporting and encouraging environment.
For example; you are not proficient the first time you start a sport. You don’t walk off the street and win the championship. It may take months or years of practice, before achieving a high level of championship proficiency. Why would you believe confidence as a skill is any different.

When you focus and practice consistently, you can build mastery of confidence in one area of your life; there is a high possibility it will run over to other areas.

Confidence is an acquired skill you master, not something that is automatic or you are born with or not.

Here are 6 Tips to Build Your Confidence

1. Start with Believing in Yourself

Confidence is not acquired through the outside. You can’t have any sense of confidence if you don’t believe in yourself and your abilities. Believing in yourself is the most significant first step to achieving confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself entirely, then you will not support yourself in work needed to be done to increase your confidence.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

Easier said than it is to do it. Appreciate who yourself and not by someone else opinion, thank goodness. You cannot be someone else so why don’t you just focus on working to be the best version of yourself.

Reset your mindset. You only have to be good enough for you. Acquire a positive attitude by having positive beliefs and positive thinking about yourself.

3. Stop Feeding Negative Thoughts

To gain the confidence you have to have positive core beliefs about you. Positive beliefs are majorly important. Understand that it is your beliefs that determine the content of your inner self-talk and thinking. It is your inner self-talk which forms your thoughts.

Know that the more effort you put into eliminating yourself from negative thinking, the more intense negative thinking becomes. Meaning the more you expect or think something wrong with yourself, the more chance it will be your truth. So if you think you are “not good enough,” “you don’t deserve anything” “you are not pretty” or “no one likes you” the higher the chance that it is how you will manifest yourself to the world through your emotions and behaviors.

Change that by changing negative beliefs, negative words you use. Your mindset, self-talk, and thinking are governed directly by your core beliefs.

4. Accept Mistakes

In life, you will make mistakes. Mistakes happen all the time naturally. Without making mistakes, you would not learn anything. To strive for or desire to be perfect is an impossibility. So stop trying.

Accept a new mindset that things will go wrong from time to time. It is the lesson you learn from those situations that build a stronger sense of self and will result in a higher degree of confidence. The more you practice and practice believing in yourself the more fulfilled you become.

5. Don’t Allow Anyone or Anything to Define You

You are unique. There is not another one like you. You are the master of your identity and actions by how you believe in yourself. No one else. What others believe in you is just an opinion and nothing more and not always the truth of who you are as a person. Strive to be consistently comfortable with yourself, because if you are not, no one else will be.

Don’t disconnect from yourself to belong to a group or fit a mold others expect to be accepted. Create the person and identity you want to be. Or better, don’t overthink your character, just be the natural you.

6. Practice, Practice and Practice Some More

Confidence in anything areas of life is a skill. No one is just born with confidence. You have to work hard to gain more confidence. Experience tells you that the more you practice a behavior, ability, skill or talent the more proficient you become and the more self-assured you are at performing that behavior, ability, skill or talent. Confidence is not universal, it is specific. Meaning no one is confident in everything they do.

So pick the areas you need to improve your performance in. Once you achieve a level of mastery the happier, fulfilled and more satisfied you become in yourself. That is what confidence is.

Takeaway

If you want anything in life like confidence, it is a skill you have to work at it whether it is for yourself, a sport or career. Identify what ability you are lacking, what you want to acquire, acquire it, and then practice, practice and practice it. Mastery in anything, like confidence is gained through practicing over and over again.

Confidence is the foundation for social grace. If you are comfortable with your confidence, then you will be more comfortable with other people, and they will be comfortable with you.
Take a risk and manifest your confidence to the world. In life, it is not what you know, feel or say, it is about what you manifest outwardly.
Coach Bill
For more information check out my website and click here to download a free eBook.

Election Blues: 4 Tips on Getting Over It

noreply@blogger.com (William Tollefson Views) — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 20:55:00 +0000

The election can cause a lot of anxiety, stress and worry about the future. Over expecting can put a hardship on your emotions as well as physical well-being.

In fact, you can develop "election blues" which can make you believe that you don’t count and turn your mood into anger, frustration or disgust.

The experience overall can feel traumatic in many ways.

4 tips on how to mitigate the negative effects of the election.

1. Disconnect from Media

Disconnect from the onslaught of media and all the opinions. Yes, we all have to be informed but being over informed can put a strain on us. Too much information and particularly emotionally charged information can cause stress and worry. Out of balance of our emotional system can cause anxiety, anger, disappointment, frustration and discontent.

2. Get Up Off the Chair and Do Something

Just don’t sit around watching TV or computer thinking you will gain new insight or thing will change any minute. Do something, take action is the enemy of anxiety. So overcoming anxiety, stress, and worry is best done by channeling your energy and focus on being productive.

3. Take Time and Take Care of Yourself

When people get anxious, stressed and worried they tend to constrict their muscles in their body for protection and their breathing becomes shallow reducing the oxygen to their brains. Practice meditation, intuitive breathing methods to calm and reduce anxiety in your mind and body. Exercise is a wonderful way to reduce stress. Go out and take a walk.

4. Put Your Fears on Paper

Write down your fears on paper. By putting them down on paper you recognize superficially what they are and the process takes away their power. 99% of all fears never come true as you believe they would. Remember tomorrow will be different and all conditions may change making the fears invalid.

Take Away

Understand that life events will change every day. Even though things feel so bad today it will change in time. Take care of yourself. You as well as the country is very resilient and we will get through this.

Have faith that things will change and what was disappointing today may not be tomorrow.

Coach Bill