If it's worth living, it's worth writing.

Rapists are Made in Schools!

2013-01-22T16:25:00.001-08:00

Years ago, on a wintery January evening, we were in our school bus on our way back home from an annual picnic. I was in my 9th grade. It was already late in the evening and the sun had gone down; but not the spirits. The entire bus was bursting with noise, realizing that it was the last few hours of a well-deserved picnic day.

Many boys and girls as usual were standing and dancing and shouting and mostly having fun.

Meanwhile, when everything looked fun and happy, the lights went off for a few brief moments and up went a roar of excited noises again. But when the lights were back, one of the girls was seen sobbing with her face buried in her palms. She had been groped in those brief seconds. The entire thing had been a setup and the girl was already marked out way before. I knew who the boys were. The puny I remained silent. The girl remained silent. The next day in school was business as usual.

After all these years, when I recollect that incident, a chill goes down my spine. It was only 9th class and these were my batch mates who were already practiced molesters. (Some of them are in my Facebook today and probably reading this.)

During that time, I wasn’t quite able to make sense of all of that. I thought of them then as “bad” boys. I also thought that such acts were normal for bad boys to do. But years later, when I introspect today, the trend was symptomatic of a dangerous society in the making. They weren’t just “bad” boys. They represented dangerous seeds sown into our very society. And there were other boys being sucked into it unwittingly.

These boys projected the macho gang, the brave hearts, the noisy and the boisterous ones. I too for a long time was sold to that image. My feeble personality then and a weakling that I was, desired somewhere to be like them. To be able to talk like them, walk like them with that air of nonchalance and gay abandon; to be able to bully the “good” boys and see terror in their eyes. They portrayed an enormous strength to my weak unsure eyes.

I also for sure have witnessed young boys of the same ilk stationed in busy malls and shopping centers tracking women, violating them quickly and escaping into the very crowd. This would be their favorite evening pass time and they would high-five each other on every successful attempt.

They were so immersed in this debauched act that their nervous smiles defied all innocence of their age.

Rapists aren’t constructed among regular people just out of the blue. It takes years to manufacture one. They are a work in progress over the years having let off with many such violations while growing up. And when the opportunity presents, their character, hardened by years of digressions reveals itself with beastly glory.

Each time a young boy utters a maaki or a behenki, he is a work in progress. Don’t kid me that uttering such mouthfuls is innocuous. Each utterance is cementing the portrayal of the idea of a woman in his mind, especially when you name a mother and a sister in your expletive. I for one learnt all my expletives from my school and so did everyone else.

The malaise is symptomatic in these “little” things that are left unchecked around us and manifests in the ultimate violation of women, called rape.

-Ravi Kumar

Little Chintu Series 2: The Fag

2011-01-19T11:17:00.000-08:00

Two eggs and a packet of slice bread. That was what, as part of his daily morning ritual, Chintu had to get from the neighborhood kirana shop. Sometimes, Chintu’s mom added a match box or a packet of salt to that list, when needed.

With tousled hair, striped pyjamas and rubber slippers on, Chintu would walk out of the gates dreamily. As much as he hated to wake up early, he had begun to look forward to this imposed morning walk on pretext of running an errand. The wonders of an active morning would slowly creep into his still sleepy eyes till it aroused them completely.

”Two eggs, one bread slice; two eggs one bread slice; two eggs one bread slice…”, Chintu would murmur all his way to the shop to prevent forgetting the items. If the provisions were more, Chintu’s mom would list them on a piece of paper and shove it in his shirt pocket. However, for two eggs and a packet of slice bread, she trusted his memory.

He would be so conscious of not loosing the trail of the items in his mind that even when the friendly neighbor aunty would wish him good morning, he would turn to her and nod, uttering, “two eggs one bread slice”. On the way though, he wouldn’t miss playing with the wild touch-me-not bushes in front of Madhu aunty’s house till he was sure he tickled them all to sleep. He would then cross Rohan’s house and pat his pet dog tethered at the gates. This became the pattern of his daily walk to the kirana shop.

And then, after many days there was a change to this pattern. Occasionally, a few blocks away from his house, Chintu observed a skinny man perched on the rails of his balcony, puffing smoke from his mouth, holding a white burning thing between his fingers. This exercise of putting fire into mouth and blowing out smoke fascinated Chintu beyond bounds. After the man was done, he would throw the glowing remains of the thing on the road. Chintu often crossed the man’s house in anticipation of catching him in this mysterious smoke-bellowing action.

On one such day while crossing the man's house, the glowing thing flew right in front of him and landed at his feet. Chintu’s eyes lit up at the sight. He sensed adventure and his heart beat raced to the point that he could hear them thumping. He crouched to the ground for a closer inspection at the burning entity. After dwelling on it for a while, he picked the stub with hands quivering, surveyed on both sides of the road, and when he was convinced no one was looking, brought it to his lips and used all his force to take a deep drag. Chintu wouldn’t know to let the smoke out.

Chintu Series 1: New Bata Shoes

2011-01-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

Hunched forward with his face cupped by his joined palms, Chintu stared at his new shoes with a glow of admiration in his eyes. The jet black shoes glistened under the tube-light of the drawing room. The smell of the fresh leather was heady. The laces of the shoes were taut with its ends taped with firm sheaths. The curves of the leather were as natural and smooth as the sand dunes in a desert. A closer inspection against the light revealed a speck of dust at the right hand side of the sole. Chintu immediately wiped it off with his sleeves.

How much had he hated his old shoes that had been subjected to numerous incisions and stitches by the old cobbler near the temple gate, each time the seams cracked or the sole peeled off. His numerous appeals to his parents to get a new pair of shoes had fallen on deaf ears. They always thought they were good for few more weeks. It was only when he visited his grandparents this summer that his grandpa took him to the new Bata shoe shop in one of the rabbit warren streets of Berhampur, his native. Chintu remembered how special he felt when the attendant had carefully held his feet for measurements and asked if he was comfortable with the fitting. He had walked across the shop floor and each time his steps left ground contact, it emitted a tearing sound—a trait typical to any new leather shoe. Chintu remembered giggling each time his shoes made that funny sound.

Little Chintu’s trance was jolted asudden by his mom’s shriek who summoned him for dinner. He wrapped the shoes neatly into the Bata carton box, placed it carefully in the shoe stand and joined his parents for dinner. Before retiring to bed, Chintu jubilantly marked a “1” in his notebook. Next day like all other days, he didn’t want to get up early. When all efforts to wake him up went futile, his mom whispered something into his ears. At once, he threw open his bed sheet, sprang out of his bed and ran to his new shoes, singing, “today is day zero, today is day zero…”. The shoes looked more beautiful to him today for he was to finally wear them to school this day. It’s been three weeks of summer vacation and Chintu had been impatiently counting days in reverse and marking in his note book that started with count ,‘20’. He went to his notebook, quickly marked a ‘0’ and flung the notebook in air.

When mom tried helping with his laces, he shooed her away. He wished to tie them all by himself. He struggled but managed to get it right the third time. With a smile that meant triumph, he stood up. His gait had an extra spring that day, his chest little bloated, and his height a little taller. He bid his parents bye and walked awkwardly towards the school gate, trying to avoid getting folds on his shoes.

Car

2010-12-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

She was bright, she was gleaming; she was hot, she was teeming. She stood there with an assured confidence and a mild arrogance that only added to her charm. The red satin ribbons wrapped around her taut body made her look virgin and inviting like an unopened gift. And it was inviting for sure—passersby stopping to gaze at her briefly, which from a distance seemed like a look of admiration or approval. She was certainly an eye candy to behold. She was our new car. We were proud – and neighbors envious.

For a middle class family in India, owning their first car is symbolic in a way which states that “they have arrived”. It symbolizes a move up in the social ladder. It is about finally achieving a status, which millions of middle class Indian families aspire to.

The usual sniffy car owned inhabitants of your apartment who may have unwittingly been patronizing to you all these days, now welcome you to their clan, albeit reluctantly. After all, who would want to dilute one’s privileged status. And not just that; a new car’s arrival makes their car look older. So, their approval too is laden with a tinge of envy. You also observe that you are being invited by them for tea a little too often—a glowing indicator that you are now one of them.

The move however is not without its share of awkwardness and clumsiness in the beginning for the new car owner. Firstly, adjusting to this newly acquired social status, asks of him to act and behave in a particular way. There is something about the body language of a car owner that is so upwardly mobile. The men dropping their kids early morning to the bus stand with shorts looks so stylish. Whereas, wearing shorts on a scooter looks stupid. The ease with which they don their sun glasses while driving seems very natural and uber cool on them. All in all, there is an element of “richness” about the car owners that the non car owners do not possess.

The clumsiness hits a new car owner in the initial days in his effort to fit in. He is in a dilemma whether to wear shades driving a car. He is concerned it may look pretentious. It may also look condescending to other non car owners of his apartment. He then concedes; there is no need to show off. And a moment later he justifies himself against it thinking; it doesn’t matter as long as I remain nice and sensitive to everyone. And thus plays a whirlwind of emotions in his mind on how to project the right social behavior; a confusion only a sanctimonious Indian middle class would bear to have.

It takes months for him to be at ease with himself and his self proclaimed exalted social status. And then one fine day sipping his early morning coffee, his eyes catch a glint through the edge of his window curtains. He looks on and sees a beaming new car, ribbon wrapped standing beside his own car. He feels an ache pierce through his heart.
--------------------------0----------------------------

The Fading Light

2010-11-26T23:07:00.000-08:00

The folds on her skin are like mild ripples in a pond, her face wizened yet radiating a soft glow. Her eyes devoid of any expression most of the time stare blankly to the ceiling, while awake. Eyes, that have seen 96 years of her life pass by; gives me a shudder at the mere thought of it. There is something about the human eye that nature lends more value. Unlike every other part of a human body that degenerates with time, eyes retain its vigour till death—I mean the look of it. And grandma’s eyes had that vigour--jet black and shining.

She either sleeps or stares the whole day lying on her wooden cot. There is no other activity her feeble body can withstand. Day after day she follows the same pattern. What does she stare at? What does she think about? Does she wonder for how many more days she has to keep lying like a log or does she reminisce her past?

Prod her to smile and she promptly reveals her gums that has lost most of her teeth with child-like alacrity. That smile looks ridiculous, more like demented. Demented for sure, as much of her intelligence and memory has parted ways with her. My eyes fall on the black and white framed picture of hers standing along with her husband; a picture of her prime years. The sprightly young woman in her cotton sari stood strutting her authoritative self , a majestic half smile playing in her lips that seems to be telling a story. A story of the days of her yore, when she ruled her household and held the purse strings of one of the wealthiest families in the village, Gangapur(in southern Orissa). Days that had commanded veneration from the lowly village folks; the land tillers, farmers, the vegetable and fish sellers who use to stop by at her verandah almost every day to bask under her patronage before setting for work. The newly wedded brides to her sons who tended to her respectfully dared not tumult the equilibrium of her household traditions without her consent. She held the seat of authority for years altogether for her family.

Today, this reduced and feeble frame lying on the cot in the corner room of my house, beaten with age isn’t remotely a pale reflection of her past. Her vacuous eyes devoid of life suddenly lit up at the prospect of my presence. Notwithstanding her long bouts of loneliness, how much she craves for a human presence near her, someone who would listen to her slurring incomprehensible speech, someone whom she could touch and caress with love.

She constantly reminds me of the transience of the youth and the realization that old age unlike a new born, draws sympathy more than love. The young ones tend to the old with a scared sense of moral duty, a lurking realization that they too will pass through this phase and they too will need to be taken care of. And if you believed in the cycle of Karma, you better took care of your senile parents.

Though the whole world talks about ageing gracefully, there is nothing graceful about being a helpless vegetable encroaching a considerable space in your children’s lives; an inconvenience they have to be put up with till you perish. How would you see eye to eye to your tending child the day you reach that stage of incontinence and wet your bed the first time. Your dignity that day would depend upon how your child looks back at you; with love or disgust? And let me tell you more often than not, it is disgust poorly masqueraded. And you die that very moment long before your body does.

Everything is eventual.

The Lamp did Light

2010-11-21T04:39:00.000-08:00

I completed reading 'When the Lamp is Lit' yesterday, the first book I could lay my hands on of Ruskin Bond. It is a collection of his autobiographical sketches and stories and it gave me a friendly and assuring company in my to and fro train journey to my hometown. This was the first time ever I was reading Ruskin and as they say a book more often than not reveals the soul of a writer, "When the Lamp is Lit" does just exactly that. It demystifies the legend of Ruskin Bond with gay abandon.

Lot has been talked about simplicity that reflect both in Ruskin's lifestyle and writings and I don't want to harp more into that. However, by the time I turned the last page of the book, my heart had sworn allegiance to this master craftsman who teaches the world why simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication. He reminds me of an age old adage, "We don't need more. We need to get rid of more."

His gift for humor was at his best exhibited in the chapter, "Life with Uncle Ken". I couldn't contain my laughs while I was reading the story, much to the puzzlement of my fellow passengers in my compartment. Ruskin shares little anecdotes of the lazy Uncle Ken who fends himself off by staying at his many sisters family taking turns after every few months. The funniest one for me is the story of mistaken identity, where uncle Ken is made to play a local cricket tournament being mistaken for a famous English cricketer and he manages to gather crowd's applause for a fluke four that runs off his pad. Uncle Ken had never held a bat before.

The humorous Ruskin turns solemn in the title chapter, aptly put in the end, "When the Lamp is Lit". It is here that he dispenses nuggets of his writerly wisdom that is distilled from his persevering years as a writer. Any budding writer worth his salt, must read this chapter to elevate his vocation to a higher plane. I devoured and relished whatever he had to say here. Ruskin asserts on the importance of humility, and busts the myths associated with true happiness derived through one's vocation.

A paragraph from the chapter:

"Why is humility so hard to come by? Most religions teach the wisdom of humility, but who listens? We all know that life is finite, that human civilization, for what it's worth, is self-limiting. And yet the most educated of men will strut about their little world like actors on stage; they assume the mantle of immortals, deluding themselves into thinking they are indispensable, until eventually they join all those other indispensables who have reached perfection in the form of dust or ashes. Happiness is an elusive state of mind, not to be gained by clumsy pursuit. It is given to those who do not sue for it: to be unconcerned about a desired good is probably the only way to possess it."

Words that are redolent with worldly experience.

Ruskin draws inspiration from Emily Bronte's life whose masterpiece, "Wuthering Heights" is a phenomenon till date and is widely taught in universities across the globe. He attributes Emily's success to her indifference to wealth, fame, and personal comfort, an antithesis to today's world of high powered literary agents and media hype.

He talks about scores of good writers who work in their own language and "plough their lonely furrow" without entertaining an agent or media blitz. Their lonely journey survives all storms of despair and grief because they believe "pen, in honest and gifted hands, is mightier than the grave."

He signs off the last chapter with the words, "Dear Reader, may you have the wisdom to be simple, and the humor to be happy."

If not for anything you must read the book for these two chapters.

A year that was in one word, kaleidoscopic

2010-09-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

2nd September 2009, I took a blind leap into the sphere of the unknown. I chucked off my secure and high paying job to pursue things that I wanted to. The irony was that I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to do. The year ends this August again. It had been a very difficult decision and a silly one at that, atleast my parents thought so. Yes silly, because I couldn’t make much money, not remotely close to what I was making before. But still, last year was a glorious year for me, the most happening and reinvigorating one till now, which I am sure no corporate engagement would have given me. I attempt to list out in this post all that was special and happening for me:

I joined as a business analyst in a rural marketing firm. A designation that sounded cooler than technical writer. How much I had craved for a designation like that.
I traveled extensively through the length and breadth of rural Andhra, Karnataka and Maharashtra. I got to see real India through my eyes. Lived in villages, participated in their customs and rituals.
Rural marketing also allowed me to see some exotic tourist destinations like the Western Ghats, Jog Falls, Ajanta Ellora caves etc.
I delivered presentations to the CXO’s of top telecom majors like Vodafone, Airtel, Uninor.
I almost single handedly organized a summit on Rural Marketing in association with the Economic Times at Taj Krishna, Hyderabad. Hobnobbed with the who’s who in the industry like heads of Nokia, telecom majors, automobile majors, FMCG majors etc.
I helped start Bhubaneswar Toastmasters Club.
I donned the role of a lecturer for Business communication for Reliance Sparta and delivered talks at around a dozen engineering and MBA colleges in Hyderabad.
I along with Apurv Mishra founded the Futures Conference, Orissa. I presented a road map to Orissa’s future in front of 50 young entrepreneurs handpicked from across the state. The Futures Conference received rave reviews in the press and I too got a mention in the Economic Times.
I honed my skills as a personal branding enthusiast and delivered a series of talks across many cities: o I delivered a personal branding workshop at KIIT Universityo I was invited to deliver a talk at Goa International Center, Goa.
I spoke at the Futures Conference, Orissa
I Spoke at CA, Hyderabad
I conducted a Creative Writing Workshop at Hyderabad at Manohar Hotel. We had invited popular authors Raksha Bharadia and Bishwanath Ghosh to conduct the workshop.
I gave my first press interview in Goa to The Herald.
I was featured in Make Sense video.
Asian Tour - India - Rural Development w/ Ravi from christian vanizette on Vimeo.
I was invited in a radio show as a guest RJ. I co-hosted the entire show for an hour. One of my beautiful memories.
I was mentioned in 5 major newspapers: o Economic Times o Indian Express o The Herald o Jagran City Plus
I also participated in the promotional video for Personal Branding in a professional studio. I was part of the entire shoot, dubbing and editing; an exhilarating experience again.
I was part of a concept summer camp for Live More for kids in Bhubaneswar.
I worked closely with Siva Cotipalli, a TED fellow who is the founder of Dhanax. I helped him initiate his rural marketing vertical for his organization.
I also helped in the content strategy of a young political party, Jago party.
I started Project Oar
I received an invite from popular author Onyeka Nwulue to Nigeria to deliver a series of talks to the youth across Nigerian universities on a youth exchange program.
I started my first independent content consultancy services for startups in technology sector. I worked for some very innovative companies like Aquilonis, Patent and a US based company. There is no bigger satisfaction than receving a sincere compliment from your client on your work delivered. Also I received my first freelancing income during a painful monetary crisis. The satisfaction of earning independent freelance income cant match to any amount of corporate salary.
I went to my ex campus CA, Hyderabad to deliver a speech for its demo meet. This was a fulfilling experience for me because I had initiated the process of setting up Toastmasters at CA.
The icing on the cake was my trip to France. I was invited by Gemalto, a global leader in digital security to consult on business opportunities for them in rural markets in India. It was my first Europe tour and fun filled one at that. (It deserves a separate blog post) .
I got free pass to attend the world famous Lift Conference and I got to interact with Sam Pitroda.
I met and made friends with a string of interesting people along the way:
Sam Pitroda
Onyeka
Klaus
Siva Cotipalli
Clement
Marc gemeto
Christian and Romain
Raksha Bharadia, author
Bishwanath Ghosh, author

It was an year full of great learning and experience. I say great learning because with all my years of experience in IT sector, I was too distant and naïve towards the realities of the world. In this year, I witnessed first hand the sly and machivellian way the business runs. Witnessed the dirty world of business closely where corruption and crime were rampant. This was a year that left me disillusioned and I began to question the sanctity of business. That is why I consider this year an year of great learning because I learnt the lessons the hard way. Today after this one year of adventure or misadventure(as per my parents) I go back to where I came from; back to the IT industry. But with whatever I acheieved in this one year, I feel proud of what I have done. I firmly believe that I cudnt have done all that I did if I was in my previous job. I also realized one thing very strongly and is reaffirmed in me that is life is all about the journey, not the destination. Make this journey beautiful.

Build Yourself a Great Story: Jeff Bezos Inspirational Speech

2010-07-16T04:04:00.001-07:00

I was working at a financial firm in New York City with a bunch of very smart people, and I had a brilliant boss that I much admired. I went to my boss and told him I wanted to start a company selling books on the Internet. He took me on a long walk in Central Park, listened carefully to me, and finally said, "That sounds like a really good idea, but it would be an even better idea for someone who didn't already have a good job." That logic made some sense to me, and he convinced me to think about it for 48 hours before making a final decision. Seen in that light, it really was a difficult choice, but ultimately, I decided I had to give it a shot. I didn't think I'd regret trying and failing. And I suspected I would always be haunted by a decision to not try at all. After much consideration, I took the less safe path to follow my passion, and I'm proud of that choice.

Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life -- the life you author from scratch on your own -- begins.

How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?
Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story. Thank you and good luck!

Project Oar launched!

2010-06-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

We are humbled with this overwhelming support you all have showered by agreeing to become part of this anti dowry campaign. We received more than 100 submission through the Anti Dowry form embedded in my blog.

Now, the intent needs to be translated to action. We are proud to say that we are launching this campaign on Facebook as PROJECT OAR. If you are wondering what's with the name, then let me remind you that the genesis of the movement was started because of a certain culprit, Mr Rao. And since we did not want to malign his reputation forever, we reversed the name to Project Oar instead of Project Rao. Also OAR is more symbolic. Oar means a stick/propeller that helps a boat cross the river. And Project Oar too has a wide river to cross. The mission is huge and the responsibility too is large. And I am sure if we all join hands together, we could bring in a large social change for the better. You begin by becoming an official member of this project called Project Rao Taskforce.

Our tasks as of now would be to:

Join the Facebook campaign in the group, http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=826#!/group.php?gid=132535166769564&ref=mf
Spread the word across to as many friends as possible.
We need two representative for Project Oar in each city in India. So if you are interested to become a volunteer for this noble initiative Project Oar, write to us at projectoar1@gmail.com
We need someone to design the logo for the campaign. We will publish credits for all your efforts.

What is Project Oar' strategy?

After all these years of societal development, this crime of treating women as commodity still exists. We realised that the legal form of action hasn't worked. Only societal boycott and embarrassment can help curb this menace.
The plan is to record people's complains about any dowry demands across the country in Facebook/website.

We would then publish the address of the culprit in this public domain after a fair verification process.

People going though the address can then send torn chappals to that address. I hope this fear and societal embarrassment will bring down the number of dowry cases in the country.

Power of youth:

Friends, sometimes I am saddened that the youth of today do not have a say in such stark issues around them. Your blood must boil to see any form of injustice meted out in the society. Indifference towards a crime is a bigger crime committed than being a direct party to the crime. I sincerely feel, if someone is not part of the solution, he is part of the problem.

"Never underestimate the power of a small but committed group of people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." – Margaret Mead

Driven with the mission to curb this dowry menace, I bid adieu for now. Waiting for your earnest reply.

If you want to join the Project Oar Taskforce, join
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For further enquiries, write to us at projectoar1@gmail.com

Registered people till now:

Registered people till now:

Sunayana Bangalore
Anshuman Swain Auckland, NZ
Shanthi S Bangalore
Amit M Bangalore
Dr J Swain Secunderabad
Spandan Mishra Bhubaneswar
Uttiya Das Bangalore
Oishik Bagchi Gandhinagar
Rohith Ganguly Ananthapur
Swati Bhubaneswar
Dinesh Sahu Bhubaneswar
Naveen Bangalore
Nivedita Bishwal Melbourne,Australia
yash Auckland,NZ
isha gwalior
Ruchi Mumbai
Mayuresh K Bangalore
Jishnu Thrissur
Naveen Gwalior
Anwesa Bhubaneswar
gopesh AHMEDABAD
Sruthi Haripad
Aghoshlal Nakulan Kollam,Kerala
Varsha Hyderabad
Thryza Dow Mumbai
Madhukar BR Bangalore
Ramkumar P Salem
Swetansu Mohapatra Goa
Varrun Ramani Chennai
satabdee biswal hyderabad
Shweta Hyderabad
Preeti Pooja Bhubaneswar
Aditya Mani Jha Ranchi
akash salim trivandrum
Midhunlal G Kannur, Kerala
Bijoy Prakash Mumbai
Jazarine Calicut
Kasturi Baral Cuttack
Sarada rivandrum
Vasundhara Bangalore
Krishnakumar D Coimbatore
pria chennai
Biji Bangalore
Deepa Dutt Bangalore
Ranjan Kumar das Bangalore
Divya Thrissur
Nivedita Hyderabad
Kuntal Sen Kolkata
Lawrence Aloysius Thrissur, Kerala

An Open Letter: Shame on You

2010-06-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Mr XYZ,

I am Ravi Kumar and I had the misfortune of visiting your house with regards to my sister's marriage proposal yesterday.

I am writing this e-mail to hopefully make you realise of the kind of huge blot and shame you are for the society.

You had sent us a neatly prepared bio-data for your son, which said you wanted, " a good educated family background". Today I will teach you what a "good educated family" can do when they meet such disgusting people with criminal mindset.

We too had mentioned that we are looking for a family with integrity, but you either did not understand what integrity means or comfortably choose to avoid that.

First let me remind you of the crime you committed and be categorical on your statements made:

You demanded shamelessly should I say, cash worth of 10 lakhs, a 4 wheeler, gold worth 1.5 lakh; furniture etc ; as if you and your family are crippled for the rest of you life.
You also stated some ridicolous conditions like for every lakh of cash paid, you would gift a tola of gold to my sister as if the gold was going out of your house.
What put me in utter disbelief is the statement you made just before dowry discussions began. When my father asked your expectations you said, "you show us your cards first and then we will show our cards". This was sickening. Your statement in no way demonstrated that you are going to engage in an eternal and pious matrimonial alliance. Your words were stinking of gambling match.
You also said that you incurred heavy expenses in your sons education especially when he was staying away from home. I never knew you were waiting for this day to recover your losses through your daughter in law.
You also said to my parents that they too have a son. And so have a scope to earn in dowry as well. I will invite you to my marriage for you to see how much dowry would I accept.
You said you have many other parties willing to offer you much more than what you asked us. This shows your insensitivity towards this alliance and our family.

It is shameful that you yourself are in a respectful position in a reputed Navratna organization, NALCO.

How on earth did you assume that a "good educated family background" would heed to this nonsense. My whole family was seething in anger. But anger is not enough for a "good educated family". The anger should be followed with action so that next time you dont dare invite a "good educated family" for an alliance.

We have been taught that giving or asking dowry is a criminal offence under IPC 498A. I hope you too are aware of it.

You mentioned your bridal requirement as : slim, fair and good looking. Who do you think you are and what makes you think you deserve the best in the world. And why do you think you can make any condescending demands. Your son is only a software engineer, an instance of a new wave of high paying white color labourers. And also as if your son is a sleek pack of God sent alpha male. I wouldnt want to make any personal remarks against him because you tactfully asked him to leave the discussion when it actually mattered. So, I am not sure if he is party to this crime.

My sister too is an engineer from the same college that your son passed out from. And she too is pursuing her MBA just as your son.

You also raised numerous questions on the credibility of a HR professional. My only point is why on earth did you waste so much of our time, money and effort on discussing all that when the sole criterion of your consideration was MONEY.

What I can't believe is you yourself are in a reputed public organization.
Me and my sister are launching an anti dowry campaign on a national scale. And I am involving Dewanga Association(our community) to be a part of this campaign.

Now be ready to face the consequence.

The day you feel sorry for your actions, let us know. We will try to save you from this ignominy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear friends,

I am a first hand witness to this dastardly act of dowry demand. And my education and value system would be worthless if I would just be a silent victim to this crime. What turned out a revelation for me is that this practice is rampant within modern educated families in cities. Forget what is happening in villages.

I am angry not just with this family but with every family that commits this crime. Why do you think in India, there is so much of disparity in male/female sex ratio? It is because female infanticide is rampant in all bloody clinics in cities, right under our nose. I have a friend who is a doctor and she was emotionally blackmailed to deliver a girl child, when medical science clearly proves that a woman has no role to play in the deciding the sex of child.

We have just started a facebook community and purchasing a domain for a website. The plan is to record people's complains about any dowry demands across the country in facebook/website. We would then publish the address of the culprit in this domain with a fair verification process.

People going though the address can then send torn chappals to that address.

I hope with this fear and embarrassment there will be a drop in dowry cases. I feel this is more effective that legal and police cases. This would be a movement/revolution by the people. Please participate in the campaign by filling up the form below:
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Registered people till now:

Sunayana Bangalore
Anshuman Swain Auckland, NZ
Shanthi S Bangalore
Amit M Bangalore
Dr J Swain Secunderabad
Spandan Mishra Bhubaneswar
Uttiya Das Bangalore
Oishik Bagchi Gandhinagar
Rohith Ganguly Ananthapur
Swati Bhubaneswar
Dinesh Sahu Bhubaneswar
Naveen Bangalore
Nivedita Bishwal Melbourne,Australia
yash Auckland,NZ
isha gwalior
Ruchi Mumbai
Mayuresh K Bangalore
Jishnu Thrissur
Naveen Gwalior
Anwesa Bhubaneswar
gopesh AHMEDABAD
Sruthi Haripad
Aghoshlal Nakulan Kollam,Kerala
Varsha Hyderabad
Thryza Dow Mumbai
Madhukar BR Bangalore
Ramkumar P Salem
Swetansu Mohapatra Goa
Varrun Ramani Chennai
satabdee biswal hyderabad
Shweta Hyderabad
Preeti Pooja Bhubaneswar
Aditya Mani Jha Ranchi
akash salim trivandrum
Midhunlal G Kannur, Kerala
Bijoy Prakash Mumbai
Jazarine Calicut
Kasturi Baral Cuttack
Sarada rivandrum
Vasundhara Bangalore
Krishnakumar D Coimbatore
pria chennai
Biji Bangalore
Deepa Dutt Bangalore
Ranjan Kumar das Bangalore
Divya Thrissur
Nivedita Hyderabad
Kuntal Sen Kolkata
Lawrence Aloysius Thrissur, Kerala

Futures Conference

2010-04-18T11:39:00.001-07:00

Innovation & Entrepreneurship in Orissa
18th April , 2010

Intention:
Today we are witnessing a surge of critical challenges facing our state “Orissa”. There is a pressing need for innovative solutions to a range of problems in the fields of health, education, agriculture, technology, and environmental sustainability. The solutions exist, but implementation requires the next generation of leaders to talk & interact.
We plan to fill the gap through interactive scenario* techniques session, where the young entrepreneurs & creatives will shape the future.
There will be many beneficiaries of such an interaction, but the greatest impact would be fostering seeds of change: entrepreneurship, innovation, and technology.

Background:
Futures Conference is drawing inspiration and guidance from the overwhelming success of a six-week innovation program from the Deutsche Telekom sponsored organization, Palomar5 based in Berlin , Germany (http://palomar5.org). Apurv Mishra, from Palomar5 will be coordinating the event in Bhubaneswar.
Also , MakeSense ( France ) will be sending their representatives Christian Vanizette & Romain Raguin to facilitate the program.

Outreach:
Beside the 40 Entrepreneurs & Creatives attending the event, we will also live stream the event through web. Thus, involve thousands of youngsters in the entire session. Also post-conference, the entire Scenario Sheets & Brainstorms shall be made public. The observations and deliberations of the sharpest young minds in Orissa are going to be assimilated and tabled as fodder for further research.

Program Schedule :
1. Introduction & TalkToMeBubbles to foster the creative mood.
2. Keynote by MakeSense Co-founders : Christian Vanizette & Romain Raguin will be delivering inspiring stories of the change agents around, the unsung heroes who are making a difference to the world through their own inspiring ways.
3. Fetcha-Kucha Wall & Snacks ( Visual Stimulation ) : Passion is inspired by vision. Vision is powered by images. Let’s give images a chance to give flight to imagination. Imagination that is not limited by lifeless words, but by images with soul and stories. Each story as vivid as they ought to be.
4. Keynote by Apurv Mishra : Inventor turned Entrepreneur from Orissa , now part of Palomar5 ( Berlin ) delivers on micro manufacturing and open technology that can act as a change agent for Orissa’s growth
5. Kushal Nahata on starting embedded technology firm based in Orissa “Roboticwares”.
6. Ravi Kumar on Futures Orissa ; the next game-changing development oppurtunity in the state.
7. SCENARIO PLANNING by Apurv Mishra ( MAIN EVENT )

It is a strategic tool used to map out future contexts. The tool consists of an axis made of driving forces in society & economy. This axis becomes a positioning model allowing for navigation and habitation. We will begin with an interactive Trend analysis to open a brainstorm on driving forces. The groups focused on their respective topics begin harvesting images and concepts. Each scenario will have 4 different outcomes. Within each quadrant the groups are asked to inhabit the world with a character, the stories that arise give insights on the future we see.

Link : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scenario_planning
8. Presentation & Launch of Scenarios by the entrepreneurs.
9. Networking Dinner

Team
Apurv Mishra :
19 yrs , Social Entrepreneur/Inventor attended Nobel Prize Ceremony 2009 & Nobel Festivities and honored with SIYSS SEABORG Award from the Nobel Foundation .For the 1st Time Indian Sub-continent has been represented in such a forum since inception of SIYSS in 1976 and was awarded a diploma.
Apurv founded Innovator Factor Foundation in 2006 as spin-off from Intel's Initiatives at Indianapolis http://download.intel.com/education/isef/profiles/ISEF_CaseStudy.pdf . Also one of his inventions 'Glabenator' earned him the President of India's National Technology Award 2006 for the best technological innovation for the physically challenged. He has won several international awards including ISEF Grand Award - Indianapolis 2006, AVASC International Award 2006, Palomar5 Resident ( BMW ) at Berlin , TED Fellow ( San Fransisco ), CSIR Invention Award 2004, Infosys Young Achiever's Award 2007, and recently SIYSS Award to attend the Nobel Prize Ceremony 2009 at Stockholm. Also he has been widely talked about, CES 2009 Keynote by Intel Chairman( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doDQ2iQ_L_k ), BBC World, UNO'S World Intellectual Property Organization Magazine. He consults several NGOs like Kachile Foundation in Ivory Coast, HealthNovations in Boston & Ecamp Israel to name a few. http://www.apurvmishra.com

Ravi Kumar :
Ravi Kumar is a marketing consultant/business head for GoRural India, a rural marketing consultancy firm. He works extensively in the field of rural marketing creating brand awareness for corporates in the rural market.
He has worked for more than 8 years as a technical and business communicator in organizations like HCL Technologies, Siemens, Sun Microsystems and CA.

Look for signs!

2010-04-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

It shouldn’t come to you as a surprise if I say, what we become ultimately in life is an extrapolation of what we were as kids.

Though I agree many people metamorphose into different individuals vis a vis what they were when they were kids, I would like to keep my faith on my introductory statement.

The fact remains that each one of us is wired differently. And each one of us has his own passions and strengths concealed within, deep within. And the best thing is that these passions and strengths are manifested time and again fitfully from early childhood. Sadly, most of us fail to read these signs and the bud that is eagerly wanting to bloom is nipped with apathy and ignorance. Instead of fomenting the early signs, the natural tendencies are curbed to a silent and sad death.

I have a few classic examples of people around me that drive this point to the hilt. Let me share with you my most favorite.

Manju, a tentative and unsure 18 year old girl 5 years back was a distant cousin of my friend Sanjay. Sanjay’s father had adopted Manju considering her parents modest means of survival. Manju was given a decent familial atmosphere and a decent schooling. But there seemed to be a problem. Manju kept failing in her subjects. No amount of personal coaching helped Manju better her scores. Manju barely passed her exams to inch forward. She just couldn’t study. Already burdened under her uncle’s patronage, she was unable to extricate herself from the ignominy she was subjecting herself and her family. She began to help the family more in their domestic work to feel valued. Her foster parents thought it better to get her married; a practical and natural option under the circumstances. Manju would be only 18 then. Sanjay somehow wasn’t able to take this decision on his stride. He started looking for signs. Signs that would help him lead her out of the darkness. To his relief, Sanjay found that Manju’s heart lay in painting. She had a natural eye for design. He got her admitted to Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in Bhubaneswar and she began responding favorably. He began to observe the erstwhile hidden glow in her eyes; the glow of self worth and esteem.

The long lost confidence masked under her meek demeanor suddenly opened up. A self branded ‘black sheep’ till now amongst her more talented and able cousins, this self revelation was like a volcano waiting to erupt. Sanjay kept doing his bit bombarding her with the necessary moral boost. He equipped her with all modern skills of design and arts: animation, 3d, cartooning etc.

Manju ‘s work soon started getting attention in town. She began featuring in art galleries. After her BFA, Manju got through a premium design company in Bangalore with a pay package that would put any fresh engineer to shame.

Last week she was interviewed for a position in London, by a digital graphics company that worked with the Oscar winning movie, Avatar .

I can’t help but salute the spirit of Manju (who calls me Ravi Bhaiya) and most importantly his brother Sanjay who looked for the signs in her. If it werent for him, Manju would have been killed today in spirit and in mind, resigned as a domestic homemaker in some remote village in Bihar.

Do you ever feel clogged, suffocated, chained to your job and circumstances that you never wanted to be in first place? If yes, then it could be that your natural inclinations while you were young were shortchanged for a more socially acceptable option. Your may not have till now reconciled to that arrangement till now.

In all probability, if you have been a victim of pursuing a forced choice in life, you might met out the same injustice to your younger siblings or kids. Promise yourself you won’t let that happen. Instead, look for signs in them. Let the bud bloom like Manju.

The importance of white spaces

2010-03-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

I read about white spaces the first time in Subroto Bagchi’s book, The Professional. It said, “In printed matter of a book, white space denotes emptiness or spaces between words so that we can read characters that form the word and a group of words that form a sentence. In professional lives, white space is a train or a bus ride to work, it is the time waiting outside a client’s office, the time spent on long flights. We have all been given huge white spaces in life”

Earlier all my usual free spaces were consumed by deliberate cramming of work; either poring into a book or scribbling down thoughts to paper. In short, forcing myself into a seemingly productive activity. But then lately, I have begun to realize the importance of enjoying non-activity sometimes.

Observing the results of non activity closely I have realized something. Non activity most of the time is more productive. Using non active time consciously to think improves the quality of thoughts. With clinical practice, your thoughts become more creative in time. It would soon be a pleasant self revelation for you to know that you could become so creative. But the fact is you do not become creative; creativity was always with you. You only helped unearth it.

No wonder Newton and Archimedes achieved zenith of their creative genius at their most non active moments. One was day dreaming under the apple tree; the other basking in the hot water tub of his bathroom.

White spaces also improve the quality of your life. Reflecting and contemplating on your actions improves your self awareness. Narayanmurthy of Infosys before resigning to bed spends a couple of minutes replaying the entire day in his mind’s eye to look for instances where he would have behaved or acted inappropriately. This practice of self correction everyday is immensely useful for self development.

Earlier I would be guilty of wasting such white spaces and hence cram it with things I felt were more productive. Now with this self revelation I glow with the prospect of having so many white spaces in life. Be it waiting at the reception to meet a client, standing in a bank’s queue, waiting for a person to arrive etc.

Last week on my way to Aurangabad from Ellora caves on bus we had to cross a ghat road after sun set. But due to a blockade, the bus had to wait for 6 long hours in that mountain road. I boarded down the bus in the pitch darkness. The villages deep below the hill were shimmering with little lights. After a while I lied down at the embankment of the road with my head up towards the sky. What I saw up were millions of stars twinkling, with varied sizes and intensity. The sky was clear as glass. At this height I was so close to them. I sky gazed for the rest of the night. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of life. A gift of a beautiful white space presented on a black night.

White spaces also enable you to engage in self talk. I have seen people who cant stand being alone even for a brief period. Their hands would soon work their way to their phone pad and dial a random friend. Spending time with yourself and self talking is so important because your consciousness gets programmed during these moments. Your soul metamorphoses during these precious minutes. These are the moments where you get those little knocks and nudges that shapes you. It is like a potter tapping a half baked pot to perfect its roundedness. We too get rounded during these moments.

No arms! No legs! No worries!

2010-03-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Experience variety

2010-03-02T06:32:00.000-08:00

It was during the first week of joining my engineering college. An exciting period of my life where I experienced my new found freedom and a false sense of adulthood. I began looking forward to every approaching day in college with childlike curiosity. The anticipation of the unknown, a heady mix of fear and excitement kept the mind happily agitated. Fear and excitement of being ragged in college. We all grow up hearing about the thing called ragging through stories; some true, some made up. But the college management had dealt strongly on ragging and we freshers were shielded from the seniors with war like tactical strategy. I was sorely disappointed. How much had I looked forward to this day to experience what ragging was like once in my life. All the months of curious anticipation that rose to a crescendo was now going to end as a damp squib. I resented at the thought of it. I wanted to experience ragging first hand. I wanted to have stories in my life that I could share with my kids when they grew up; stories of my ragging experience. I decided not to heed the instructions and jump into the enemy camp. So with a fake air of confidence, head held high, collar unbuttoned, sleeves folded, I walked alone to the canteen infested with seniors. The details of what ensued isn’t necessary for this post but the dressing down that I received in the canteen will remain etched in my memories forever. And I asked for it for the sake of experience. ;)

This might not be an ideal way of experiencing life, but that’s how I am. I don’t know since when, but I always believed that experiencing life closely in all its vagaries is important for self growth. And I don’t just mean only experiences that come your way, but experiences that you deliberately create and bump into. I have listed out certain advantages of looking for deliberate experiences in life:

Don’t fall into a pattern:

One should never fall into a pattern in life is what I had always heard and wanted to believe in. So I consciously sought variety in life even when I wasn’t comfortable with it.In my brief career of 7 years, I have worked in 5 different states Gurgaon, Faridabad, Pune, Bangalore, Hyderabad. Having worked in the IT sector for 7 years, I did an about turn to work in the arena of rural marketing. My work requires to travel hinterland of India and helps corporates set their brands there. A loner as a person, working in so many states with varied organizations, helped me open up and become adaptable. Today fitting in is not a problem for me.If you always take the same road, how will you ever find anything new

Enhances quality of life:

An year back, I picked up my backpack and left for the Himalayas alone for 15 days. My idea of travelling alone to the Himalayas stemmed up from this very thought of experiencing life. Surrendering yourself to the mighty mountains alone could be a life enhancing experience. I have tried to persuade the Gorkhas in Mana village to allow me to stay at their place overnite and they have reluctantly agreed.Has it had an effect on me? I think it should have. I am not sure. May be that will manifest itself subtly in some way tomorrow. During my Himalayan trip, I remember my tour guide Rajneesh talk about a Malaysian woman who along with her two year old baby stayed at a cave in the deep Garhwal mountains for a month. After a month both the mother and her daughter looked disheveled and rugged. She often comes there every year for such adventure.

Multidimensional life:

I have worked in some of the biggest companies in the world like Siemens, Sun Microsystems and CA. Today I work with a small startup that isn’t even a speck compared to where I have worked before. But whereas the work was unidimensional in my previous organization, the work in my current organization is ad hoc. It is maddening like a whirlpool. There is nothing to fall back upon. There is no one to give you instructions. There is no one to listen to your issues. The only fact is, work needs to be done. Period. Buck stops at you. But with all this, there is so much to learn.Today with my new field of work, I stay engaged. I keep looking for ways to delight my clients. I realized how important smiling is in my day to day interactions. I realized to keep my ego in check. I meet difficult people every day. I learn different ways of interacting with different people; how to convince, cajole, coerce, placate etc. I learn to look at things from others’ perspective for the first time in life. Today, I do not have an issue in interacting smoothly with a tribal farmer in a remote village in Nasik or delivering a presentation to the COO of my fortune 100 client. In short the experience makes you well rounded and the growth as a person is fulfilling.

Removes fear and discomfort:

The only way to dispel fear is to attack it head on. My fear of facing a crowd was gradually won over when I decided to tackle it head on. I joined Toastmasters. I kept failing. I kept faltering. I deliberately jumped in to host little events in my office or other public forums. It gradually became my comfort zone to the point that I started receiving compliments for my presentations.

Childlike curiosity:

Making a conscious effort to experience life keeps alive the child within. And it is very important again or self growth. I remember visiting Papakondulu in Andhra Pradesh with a big contingent. The trip was a launch ride on the mighty Godavari cutting across beautiful mountains called Papikondulu. While there were many of us observing the enchanting waters and hills of the beautiful Godavari, there were some who played cards all through the journey. On their way back it was them who complained how pathetic the place was. But to me and many others Papikondulu was one of the beautiful places in India. To appreciate beauty you ought to observe the experience . Your eyes should twinkle with child like curiosity. Only then you would be able to find more colors in the world than what meets the eye.Experience More. Live More. Because you live just once.

Poetic Justice

2010-02-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Year 2002, Oct:
A lanky young boy with an unsure demeanor walked in the campus of KIIT, an engineering college in Bhubaneswar. But he was starry eyed dreaming of doing silly little things. One of the things he did was publish an inter campus magazine called Akanksha in his 3rd year . He was the chief editor then.

On the magazine unveiling ceremony, which was attended by more than 200 students at the open air amphitheatre, he was asked to address the gathering. Never before had he spoken in public. He was given a rousing welcome and called onto stage. With pride swelling his chest he walked onto the stage and felt the world at his feet. With heart thumping, adrenaline pumping, how much he had craved for a moment like this. He walked through the stretch of the stage and faced the mike. And then he looked at the audience for the first time. It looked like a sea of heads each one poring on him. The two hundred odd people looked like two million.

He went blank and stared at the sea with horror. Blood drained out of him. Time was suspended for eternity. His mind raced. He fell silent for half a minute. So was the audience. And soon the whole crowd cheered with applause. An applaud that was meant to boost him. He mumbled ‘sorry’ and walked out of the stage. The heaviest steps he had ever taken in life. Steps of shame and disgrace. Back stage he let out a loud shriek and cried like a kid. An honorable moment had turned into a moment of ignominy. He was heart broken. He was crushed.

Year 2010, Feb
Venue was the same campus of KIIT. The crowd had gathered again to listen to him. This time they had paid to listen to him. This time he didn’t fall silent. This time he didn’t go blank. This time the audience cheered not out of sympathy, but out of approval.
The boy had redeemed himself of the ignominy after 7 years.
The boy was me. And I am proud.

Be Comfortable With Your Weaknesses

2010-02-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

As humans, we all have our crosses to bear, our Achilles heels to nurse, and chinks in our armor. With time we learn to live with it. We also outgrow other aspects of our personalities that make up for our inadequacies.

But there are many of us including me who suffer pains with this realization of their shortcomings. They suffer for a long long time before they begin to accept and come to terms with that reality.
I have always suffered from low memory retention from my early childhood. I remember experimenting with memory capsules during my 10th exams to help me in my studies. I do not know if it helped. During my engineering(which was a wrong decision for me), I struggled a lot with my studies. I put in a lot of effort studying and understanding concepts with a passionate zeal to outdo others. I remember taking Digital Processing subject by its horns and preparing it. I prepared notes that would envy my classmates. But within no time the concepts began to degenerate from my mind. No amount of reinforcements could help me improve retention.
I have always been an average student. By no means it meant I neglected or ignored studies. I was one of the most hard working lot. But it just didn’t translate to good scores.

I remember watching the movie Koi Mil Gaya, where the autistic character cries and complains God on why he can’t seem to pass his subjects even after studying so hard. Tears welled into my eyes because I could relate to him so much.

I carry the same burden today that has often has its bearing on my professional and personal life. Forgetting my own phone number or my employee code is common. I have put myself under embarrassing situations when I have to put up a blank face when asked about a certain element of my work status. Recollecting names of new people I meet is a tasking effort.
I have tried recourse to medicine and clinical help including meditation, but that hasn’t helped.
But after all these years, if I look back and reflect, there is so many positive aspects out of this inadequacy. Firstly I became a hard worker.

“If you can’t win with talent, triumph with effort” was the slogan that became my guiding force. Subject that my peers took an hour to absorb, I took two hours. My endurance to go through the grind increased. Today hard work is a non issue for me because it is ingrained in my DNA.

I also became a lot more organized relying heavily on notes and updates. I don’t consider it a weakness any more if I cant save data on my head. If someone asks me for a piece of information all of a sudden, I say “give me a second”. And the data is gleaned out from my diary.

I also realized with experience, that it is not just me. Everyone has his own share of failings and weaknesses to bear. We should accept it and be comfortable with such personal inadequacies.
Yet we also must make up for these inadequacies by strengthening other faculties of our mind and body. With time your inadequacies wouldn’t bother you because your strengths would have far outdone your weaknesses.

A prime example of a person with similar inadequacy is Subroto Bagchi who set up his company, Mind Tree Consulting. A man from a political science background setting up one of the most admired IT company in India outmaneuvering all his inadequacies. He was aware that he had wide gap in his technical knowledge. He was also aware that he may never bridge this gap and more importantly he was comfortable with that fact.

Working amidst highly competent teams who tackle complex technical problems, he often found himself a misfit. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fathom the complexity and depth of their work. But Subroto Bagchi never pretended to understand things and has humbly accepted his ignorance on such topics. He keeps mum in meetings where he cant contribute and allows others to take center stage. Yet because of this he has never felt excluded or reduced in stature.
“Sometimes stating your ignorance can be the simplest solution”, says Subroto.

Contd. (Part 2)

My sessions at the Personal Branding Workshop

2010-02-05T08:19:00.000-08:00

Session 1: Brand You

As part of the Personal Branding Workshop on 12th Feb at KIIT campus, let me share the front slides of my presentation. Session 2: Social Media to power your career

The target audience is MBA and engineering students in Bhubaneswar including XIMB students. There is also a group of working professionals.
Please provide inputs to better slides.

Personal Branding Workshop

2010-01-30T21:36:00.000-08:00

(Click for a bigger view)

I on behalf of Live More am conducting this workshop at my alma mater KIIT. Along with me are other two speakers, Mr Ghani Zaman and Latika Pratap.

On Work!

2010-01-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life” The words sound enchanting and very liberating. But doesn’t it look too glamorous, too idyllic to be true. If everyone worked on what they were passionate about how would the world work in sync? I mean someone has to guard the traffic signal the whole day, someone has to sweep the streets and unchoke the drains, someone has to nurse the sick and sullied patients, someone has to tar the roads in seething heat. If all of these people moved out of their regular jobs and pursued something else, what would become of the world we live in.

Till very recently, I used to crib about my field of work. I used to deck up my facebook updates with quotes like, “"Chase your passion, not your pension.”. My work always was monotonous for me. It lacked variety. I had this false concept of work that led me to hate my job in hand and I often dreamt about a job that would be blissful, a job that would bring me that promised joy; when work would never feel like work again. Trust me, next time you hear someone lecturing you on the same, sue him; because it would cost you some precious years chasing a chimera

Wisdom dawned onto me, when I hit onto a certain chapter from the book, “The Professional”, Subroto Bagchi. I paused and reflected for atleast a few minutes after eyeing its first sentence. The chapter starts with an on the face statement: “Jobs are not meant to satisfy us”. A sobering thought that made me shuffle and shift across my chair and prodded me to focus on the chapter with renewed anticipation. “Jobs are not animate things that have knowledge of who we are, what we are seeking and what our special needs could be”, the writer went on.

Many like me argue that it is not work that bothers, but the routine of the work that is boring. For all those people who think their job as mundane and monotonous, they need to learn from Nature. The earth revolves around the sun with clock work regularity. It goes round because of its capacity to be predictable. The bees and insects pollinate the fields so that we get our food with ‘monotonous’ regularity. And what is not routine about a cardiac surgeon who operates on people every day? Or for the pilot who flies airplanes? At Narayan Hrudalaya, new born babies who are a few months old are operated for heart ailments. They must remain for days in the ICU where every baby has a dedicated nurse round the clock. She just cannot take her eyes off the infant—not because of the doctors who operate and leave, but because of the nurses whose routine job is to attend to babies after the operation.

Some people dislike the work, some like me like the salary but not the work, some dislike their boss and yet others dislike their colleagues. In some cases, people dislike the idea of work itself. Subroto Bagchi in the book says, “a professional realizes that work is a blessing and, most of the time, it is therapeutic. We are lucky that we have work to do. Every day, increasing number of people in this world feel left out, unlucky, because they have woken up to a morning without any work. Go to villages and you will realize what unemoloyment means and how scored of people will be grateful if they can even manage seasonal employment.”

Being a CBSE student in school I have grown up looking at the emblem donning our book covers every year that read, “Work is Worship”. I am sure as kids many of us never gave a thought to its essence. After all these years, it seems I am beginning to get it. The key is to love what you do if it is not possible to do what you love.

Can’t Find Your Passion?

2010-01-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

Ok you have heard it time and again. And as if it needed a reinforcement, the nation hears it again from Aamir Khan. The movie says you derive true happiness when you do what you are most passionate about.

Life coach Cheryl Richardson says that the clues are all around you. Uncover your true passion—and start living it!

Listing out a few tips to help you find your passion.

STEP 1:GET QUIET
For most people, the road to connecting with passion begins with practicing good self-care. This means slowing down, spending time with yourself, taking good care of your body and mind, nurturing your spirit, and engaging in activities that will move you out of your head and into your body.
Once you become passionate about your self-care, you'll know you're on the right track.

STEP 2: Become Sensitive to Your Environment.
Once you're more connected to your feelings, you'll be ready to do a little exploring to discover the specific, personal things that best ignite your passions. Spend one week paying close attention to what excites you, touches you, inspires you to think in a whole new way, or even frustrates you. Watch for clues. Stories in newspapers, programs on television or conversations with friends may give you an indication of those things that will lead you to your passions.

STEP 3: Answer a series of questions.
• What interest, passion or desire are you most afraid of admitting to yourself and others?
• What do you love about yourself?
• Who do you know that's doing something you'd like to do? Describe yourself doing it.
• How could you make the world a better place for yourself and others?
• What's stopping you from moving forward with exploring your passion?

STEP 4: Go on a Treasure hunt

Go on a treasure hunt in your own home. The things you hold onto can provide clues to your interests and passions.Do you make connections to old pictures? A special memento from a memory that means something to you? How does what you find make you feel about yourself and your dreams?

Step 5: Take a Risk.
Stop thinking about your passions and start doing something. Take a risk, and step out to try something new. By challenging your fear with action, you'll not only raise your self-esteem, you'll expand your comfort zone. If you're not sure of what to do, ask a trusted friend or partner for ideas. Remember that good luck happens when you're in action. And, if you try something new (even if you're not sure of the outcome), you may discover a passionate interest by accident!

WE HELP OURSELVES, NOT THE WORLD: Vivekananda

2010-01-22T00:20:00.000-08:00

I had this article by Swami Vivekananda with me for long time. Sharing this with you all if you havent read this before. It's his perspective on why one should help others.

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Our duty to others means helping others; doing good to the world. Why should we do good to the world? Apparently to help the world, but really to help ourselves. We should always try to help the world, that should be the highest motive in us; but if we consider well, we find that the world does not require our help at all. This world was not made that you or I should come and help it. I once read a sermon in which it was said, "All this beautiful world is very good, because it gives us time and opportunity to help others." Apparently, this is a very beautiful sentiment, but is it not a blasphemy to say that the world needs our help? We cannot deny that there is much misery in it; to go out and help others is, therefore, the best thing we can do, although in the long run, we shall find that helping others is only helping ourselves. As a boy I had some white mice. They were kept in a little box in which there were little wheels, and when the mice tried to cross the wheels, the wheels turned and turned, and the mice never got anywhere. So it is with the world and our helping it. The only help is that we get moral exercise. This world is neither good nor evil; each man manufactures a world for himself. If a blind man begins to think of the world, it is either as soft or hard, or as cold or hot. We are a mass of happiness or misery; we have seen that hundreds of times in our lives. As a rule, the young are optimistic and the old pessimistic. The young have life before them; the old complain their day is gone; hundreds of desires, which they cannot fulfil struggle in their hearts. Both are foolish nevertheless. Life is good or evil according to the state of mind in which we look at it, it is neither by itself. Fire, by itself, is neither good nor evil. When it keeps us warm we say, "How beautiful is fire!" When it burns our fingers, we blame it. Still, in itself it is neither good nor bad. According as we use it, it produces in us the feeling of good or bad; so also is this world. It is perfect. By perfection is meant that it is perfectly fitted to meet its ends. We may all be perfectly sure that it will go on beautifully well without us, and we need not bother our heads wishing to help it.

Yet we must do good; the desire to do good is the highest motive power we have, if we know all the time that it is a privilege to help others. Do not stand on a high pedestal and take five cents in your hand and say, "Here, my poor man," but be grateful that the poor man is there, so that by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself. It is not the receiver that is blessed, but it is the giver. Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world, and thus become pure and perfect. All good acts tend to make us pure and perfect. What can we do at best? Build a hospital, make roads, or erect charity asylums. We may organise a charity and collect two or three millions of dollars, build a hospital with one million, with the second give balls and drink champagne, and of the third let the officers steal half, and leave the rest finally to reach the poor; but what are all these? One mighty wind in five minutes can break all your buildings up. What shall we do then? One volcanic eruption may sweep away all our roads and hospitals and cities and buildings. Let us give up all this foolish talk of doing good to the world. It is not waiting for your or my help; yet we must work and constantly do good, because it is a blessing to ourselves. That is the only way we can become perfect. No beggar whom we have helped has ever owed a single cent to us; we owe everything to him, because he has allowed us to exercise our charity on him. It is entirely wrong to think that we have done, or can do, good to the world, or to think that we have helped such and such people. It is a foolish thought, and all foolish thoughts bring misery. We think that we have helped some man and expect him to thank us, and because he does not, unhappiness comes to us. Why should we expect anything in return for what we do? Be grateful to the man you help, think of him as God. Is it not a great privilege to be allowed to worship God by helping our fellow men? If we were really unattached, we should escape all this pain of vain expectation, and could cheerfully do good work in the world. Never will unhappiness or misery come through work done without attachment. The world will go on with its happiness and misery through eternity.

To recapitulate the chief points in today's lecture:First, we have to bear in mind that we are all debtors to the world and the world does not owe us anything. It is a great privilege for all of us to be allowed to do anything for the world. In helping the world we really help ourselves. The second point is that there is a God in this universe. It is not true that this universe is drifting and stands in need of help from you and me. God is ever present therein, He is undying and eternally active and infinitely watchful. When the whole universe sleeps, He sleeps not; He is working incessantly; all the changes and manifestations of the world are His. Thirdly, we ought not to hate anyone. This world will always continue to be a mixture of good and evil. Our duty is to sympathise with the weak and to love even the wrongdoer. The world is a grand moral gymnasium wherein we have all to take exercise so as to become stronger and stronger spiritually. Fourthly, we ought not to be fanatics of any kind, because fanaticism is opposed to love. You hear fanatics glibly saying, "I do not hate the sinner. I hate the sin," but I am prepared to go any distance to see the face of that man who can really make a distinction between the sin and the sinner. It is easy to say so. If we can distinguish well between quality and substance, we may become perfect men. It is not easy to do this. And further, the calmer we are and the less disturbed our nerves, the more shall we love and the better will our work be.

Wildlife Photography Camp

2010-01-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

Power of books

2009-10-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

I remember giving my younger sister life lessons, when I was still young. I told her, “We are from a lower middle class family. Our father works in a small private held company as an accountant. We do not have IAS officers, doctors, scientists, and bureaucrats walk in to the drawing rooms of our house. The seemingly successful people about whom we read about in newspapers and TVs are not within our reach. But there is one way we could reach to them. Through books. We can interact and converse with some of the greatest minds in the world through the books written by them or about them”

I believe more in this thought today than ever before. I dont claim to be well read. But reading is my hobby and with whatever little I have read I think books are the only way to inspire you. Because most often the environment around you is mediocre. People often complain about the quality of their lives not being good. People say their life isn’t happening. But I feel they think so because they arent around people who are happening. It’s books that than can make your lives happening.

You all would know about the 20/80 principle. The world is being driven by 20% of the people (I believe its even less) and 80% follow them. It is these 20% people who are the decision makers and wield authority and influence over other 80%. Though the rest of the species does want to improve it is held up in mediocrity because of lack of examples and inspiration around them. It is through books that one can draw inspiration from and look for examples. If the immediate world around you is mediocre and you fear falling into the same rut of mediocrity read great books. Read biographies of some of successful people to know how they conducted their lives. Books give you hope. Books give you the power to change yourselves if it is backed by genuine intent.

I have seen people debating over the futility of self help books. After so many years reflecting on my past, I can honestly conclude that self help books have been helpful. People often argue that they are mature enough to be needing self help books. And when they read, they would conclude, “there is nothing new”. But most often self help books reinforces things in your mind that we already know. With the daily grind of life, we often tend to forget implementing things that we already know. Personally for me, though I feel the content is common knowledge, I still read it. I feel good to read it because it helps me condition my thought process and distinguish between the right and wrongs of the world. You wouldnt know how and when subtely it would have left an imprint in your mind. And all that you read consistently manifests in some way on your actions.
Some of the books that have shaped me over the years are:

Jonathan Livingston Seagull: A book recommended by a good friend 5 years back, it continues to inspire me and I try to live upto its message. The message that I can sum up is, as you go up in life, you might feel lonely at the top but you will soon find people of your ilk. Dare to be different. Dare to be ‘weird’ as branded by your peers and challenge the status quo.

The Secret: It taught me the law of attraction. I want to believe in its explanation.

The Alchemist: One statement, “When you want something badly, the whole world conspired to help you”

Go Giver: It taught me the power of giving. Give generously and you would receieve.

Swami Vivekananda’s books: It again taught me to give back to the world.
How to win Friends and Influence People: The first book I ever picked up other than course books. Top draw!

India Unbound: Gurcharan Das’ masterpeice will give you a lot of precious perception about entrepreneurship and India.

Walmart Story: Sam Walton’s modesty even after owning world’s largest retail chain was too humbling to learn.

There are many other books that are business books and autobiographies. I could think of only these now.
(When I asked to one my students in my class on what sort of books she read, she mentioned Chetan Bhagat . It blew my lid over. My next post would be on why I dont read Chetan Bhagat. On second thoughts, my blog doesnt deserve a post on Chetan Bhagat. Apologies to all Chetan Bhagat fans.)
In this tough world in absence of role models, we often are lost. It reminds me of a very learned colleague who said, “In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is the king”. There is a scarcity of hope and inspiration. There is pain and suffering. Often when life presents difficult circumstances we feel hopeless, frustrated, and shattered. We feel like a trapped soul trying to catch some breath. Trust me, a good book can lend you that breath of fresh air. It can lift your spirits. It has the power to alter the course of your life. The power to give life to lifeless, hope to the hopeless.

Though the post is about books, pardon me for digressing. Let me also talk about TED videos. Internet through TED has given us a gift. TED gets some of the best minds of the world to talk to the masses. All these talks are saved on the site for everone’s consumption. A TED talk a day is what i recommend.

Does grabbing opportunity make you opportunist?

2009-08-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

I am reading “Opportunities” by Edward De Bono. I have no qualms in providing you verbatim account of De Bono’s opinion to the question above.

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The word ‘opportunity’ and ‘opportunist’ have bad connotations. They suggest a hovering vulture rather than a hovering eagle. They suggest someone who is hovering and waiting for an opportunity to emerge. Then that person sweeps down and seizes the opportunity ahead of anyone else.

The negative attitude is partly based on jealousy (‘why didn’t i spot that opportunity?’) but also on the feeling that an opportunity is only taken at someone else’s expense. There is a feeling of expediency and short term gain. Opportunity is equated with the activity of a speculative builder who builds and sells shoddy houses and then disappears from sight. There is a feeling of irresponsibility or even outright exploitation. The black marketer is known to be an opportunist. The fast buck merchant and the fly-by-night operator are also opportunists.

Even the entrepreneur is contrasted negatively with the established businessman because there is a tinge of exploitation. Any gains are automatically regarded as being at someone else’s expense. The go getter and the go-go operator are also opportunists.

It cannot be denied that the irresponsible, selfish, exploiting, short-term profiteering opportunist does exist. But it must also be acknowledged that if it were not for people who saw and developed opportunities the standard of living would be very much lower. The United States was a land of opportunity. Henry Ford saw a way of making motor cars that would enable every family to buy a car. Corporations were sometimes slow to see the opportunities turned up by inventors but in the end the developments came about: radio and television, telephones, artificial fibres, air travel, anti-biotics.

The opposite of opportunity seeking is not stability or conservatism, it is stagnation and atrophy. It is wrong to think of opportunity in terms only of new gadgets and expanded industrialization. It may equally be a matter of expanding food production, better methods of birth control, new sources of energy, redesigning jobs so that they are more enjoyable, increasing leisure time, improving education and so on.

We can seek opportunities in any direction we wish and for any purpose we wish. We may seek opportunities for the good of society as much as for the good of our corporation or ourselves. The trouble is that no one would believe such altruism. Society finds it difficult to believe that an organization like IBM can operate opportunities for its own benefit and at the same time serve society by developing and providing improved computers

Society may well need to change its directions, goals and values but that does not necessarily imply an abandonment of the need to progress or improve. And that is what opportunity seeking is about.