My Journey to Thin

Liquid Diet

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Before they are able to do surgery - they need me to loose some weight so that Dr. Weiss is able to have as much room as possible in order to do the procedure laproscopically vs. open. Science Daily news said

Weight Loss Before Bariatric Surgery Linked To Shorter Hospital Stay, Faster Weight Loss
ScienceDaily (2007-10-16) -- High-risk morbidly obese patients who lose 5 to 10 percent of their excess body weight before undergoing gastric bypass surgery appear to have shorter hospital stays and more rapid postoperative weight loss, according to a new report. ...

So far I've lost 4.5 lbs after being on a liquid diet for 2 weeks. It's not all liquid as the "title" implies but I'm supposed to eat 4 High-Protein Slim Fast shakes then a 500-calorie meal. I'm so frustrated at the amount of weight loss so far - 4.5 lbs after 2 weeks of what feels like me starving myself... For this week, I'm cutting back on 1 shake a day and I'm eating 400 calorie meals... I know I only need to lose 5-10 lbs but I'm really hoping for my surgery to be scheduled the first week in February!

Oh and on the paperwork junk stuff - Dr. Weiss' office is STILL waiting on my letter of recommendation from my Primary Care Doctor - Don't get me wrong - I truly love my PCP he's an awesome doc and person BUT - HOLY CRAP we are talking over a month here that he hasn't written my letter! I saw him on NOVEMBER 29th!!! The Weight Loss Clinic is also waiting on my Psych Evaluation which should be to them today or Monday I would think at the latest.

My first bariatric support meeting

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:32:00 +0000

Well, I know I've been incredibly slack updating but I'm feeling renewed now and hopefully it will continue!

I've finished all my pre-requirements - yesterday I did my psych evaluation which determined that I'm SANE! and the doc is going to write a letter of support and I did my EKG and the ticker is in good working order - YAY!

But the big news is from last night... I went to my first Bariatric Patient Support Meeting - let me start by saying that I've never been so inspired in my life than from talking to these remarkable people.

I'm going to preface by saying that I'm changing the names of the peeps involved to protect their identity somewhat...

Let's start with "Kerri" - she's the groups newly appointed "leader". She's soft spoken and 4 months out of surgery she's lost 65 lbs so far. She had the surgery with her BFF and works at the hospital. She, along with everyone there said it was the best thing she had ever done for herself. She complained about the "bat wings" but remarked that they were worth it. She also complained that she is still waiting for her extra energy that everyone talks about. She unfortunately seemed to me to be the most "un-influential" of the group.

Then there was "Tanya" - WHOA! What a spitfire - this little red-head was 6 months post-op and had already lost 120 lbs! While a bit over-zealous she was a wealth of information. She mentioned her dislike for the extra skin (she's 44), she said that she's seen 30-somethings go through this and tighten right up. Hey, I'm a 30-something!!! YIPPEE! She said that for the first week after surgery - I will wish that I was dead - great - but after that it gets easier and easier. She talked about NEVER microwaving anything because it seems to dry out the food beyond what any bariatric patient can withstand. she also said that her biggest problem is knowing when she's full - but she said now, after 6 months she KNOWS her body and can tell - DON'T take another bite or it's up and out! She can't eat broccoli - it comes right back up and she misses it but is willing to wait to try it again until after a year passes.

The lady next to me was "Tina" - a beautiful, well put together 50-something that was 8 months post op and 140 lbs thinner! I talked to her the most and she even let me feel her saggy skin on her thighs that she says are the most troublesome part about post-surgery life. She never had any food that wasn't tolerable and she said she drove 2 days after she got home from surgery! She let me know about the first couple days after getting home - she said that while in the hospital I'd be only on clear liquids and maybe for one additional day at home but then I would be switching to broths and similar "high-protein" foods - she suggested the Isopure fruit drinks vs the whey protein drinks - she said the whey drinks made her gag.

The next man to have surgery was "Chris" - he had complications with his surgery. Dr. Weiss nicked his liver although Chris had lost weight before the surgery it still happened and nothing was said in the meeting about blame or anything like that but he had a MONSTER incision - breast bone down to belly button!!! His recover was incredibly slow - 12 weeks out of work - nurses coming to his house 2 times a day to dress the "open" wound that wouldn't close properly. but the one thing he did say is that given all that has happened - I'd do it all again, even if I couldn't change the liver nick - he said he used to have a cholesterol lever of over 250 and it's down to 165 now (off cholesterol meds) - he said his blood pressure is under control (off HBP meds) and even his diabetes is in check (no more insulin shots!!!). He's lost 100 lbs and he's 5 months post-op.

The last post-op guy there was "Jason" he's only 5 weeks post-op and has lost an incredible 43 lbs! He had the surgery for severe sleep apnea. He was wearing a cannula every night. From 2 weeks post op he hasn't had to wear it! He showed us his laproscopic scars and they were nothing!

The the pre-op patients: me, my sis, a guy "Harvey" who had a pg belly type of weight problem with diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure and lastly "Bruce" he's a 5xL and is looking to have the surgery the same week I'm hoping to have mine.

My sister suggested this great idea for bariatric support groups in general - have a closet swap since we will be dropping sizes so quickly it would be nice to be able to "borrow" clothes at the different sizes (they said you only wear a certain size for about a month)... What a great idea!!

Holidays make me slack!

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:13:00 +0000

OK - so I realize that holidays make me slack - not only for dieting but for everything - including blogging OOPS! Not too much going on with the bariatric surgery - I went to see the nutritionist on Friday and was so embarrassed because I had gained 6 freakin pounds!!! She calls it "Last Super" syndrome - so we talked about why I eat when I do - I'm a closet eater - I eat in the middle of the night, in my car, when nobody can see me and look at me and think - "WOW- look at the fat girl eat!" I don't really know why I do it, I'm sure it goes back to some kind of childhood burden but - I'm 35, grown up and can really no longer blame "lazy parenting" on my weight... so heh.. I'm a closet eater and I'm going to have to stop - soon, I'll have no choice...GOOD!

I have to go take the 600 question T/F test test - doing that tomorrow... then I have a psych consult on the 2nd of January - I also need to get an EKG but that won't take too long and my PCP told me I didn't need an appointment and could just stop by and they would hook me up to the machine and send Dr. Weiss my results. And besides that I have the support meetings and I'm done!!!! The nutritionist thinks I should be able to have my surgery at the end of January - first part of February!!! HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it really is going to happen!

I go to Renewed Reflections (.com) and have read through a bunch of posts about how I will feel... some people have lots of pain, others not so much - I know my food choices will change - there will be some foods that my "pouch" just won't tolerate (please don't let it be mac n cheese... LOL - just kidding - I know that will have to change). I just hope I'm not throwing up a lot - I have read that a lot of Gastric bypass peeps throw up a lot! sometimes it's from eating too much - other times from your pouch rejecting the food - I'm scared but I'm sure this is the right thing...
Current weight 230 lbs :(

Psych Consult is set!

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:15:00 +0000

Sorry for the break in blogging - not much happening with the bypass surgery right now cuz of the holidays but I did make my Psych consult appointment for January 2nd - I have to go in the office before then to take one of those 600 question True/False tests that mean absolutely nothing in my opinion but I'm sure they are useful for someone.. just not me. So I'm going to go do that Monday of next week then on Friday is the nutritionist (not looking forward to that because I'm not counting my calories) but since I've played, I will have to pay as the saying goes. I need to really try to buckle down and get moving to lose the little bit I need to lose before the surgery. I haven't stepped on a scale in 2 weeks and I know I won't be able to again next week (besides at the appointment) and I know it won't be good. When you are awaiting bypass surgery, your body goes into "attack" mode - OMG I'd better eat this now, it maybe the last time ever...

Feeling like a Failure

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:02:00 +0000

So, here we are at the Holiday Season and all I can think of to do is EAT! This week won't be any better since we have a party for my work on Wednesday and one for my husband on Saturday. I'm not sure how to get through the holiday season without chowing down on most everything in site - I'm a sugar freak (hence the fat) and I just can't get enough cookies, cakes and yummy Christmas desserts! I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm supposed to lose 10 lbs before surgery but I'm just guessing but I bed I've gained 2 or 3 lbs over the last couple of weeks. And to top it all off, my husband is out of town for work right now and since I'm a notorious closet eater, this is a bad thing! When no one can see me diving into the fridge, that's when I'm at my worse - midnight trips to the fridge are my Nemesis...

J.J. Flizanes (Director of Invisible Fitness, 800 571 5722) from The Temple of Beauty writes about the 10 ways to stay trim for the holidays - it's a lot of good advice that I need to follow. I just don't understand why I can't get the will power to do this. I had my daughters 12th birthday party and in addition to the Cheetos, Doritos and popcorn, I also made a healthy alternative - I had veggies and dip in a bowl and those were actually cleaned up before the junk. Mark a point for Healthy Living! I also found a link on Fatfighterblogs.com to a CNN.com article called Work off those holiday calories fast

I just don't seeing me being able to get this done before February - the holiday season is just so freaking hectic and I still have to do the shrink, get an EKG, go to the 3 meetings, then go back and talk to the nutritionist. Maybe I could pull it off in January - I don't know. I know I have to wait until I get enough time built up to take a solid 2 weeks off.

Psych Consult and Requesting More Money

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:30:00 +0000

So this week, I'm supposed to go to the nutritionist on Thursday with my sister but my sister double booked herself this week, so I'm going to have to cancel - which is fine with me because all she is going to do is yell at me because I'm not keeping my 1500 calorie diet in check - I so need to try to do this - excuse, excuse, excuse - man I could name 100 different excuses as to why I'm not keeping to it but I'll spare you the agony of reading it and me the embarrassment of coming up with them all instead of buckin' up and admitting - you just have no freakin will power - hence my fattiness! So, I'll have to let you all know when my appointment is rescheduled.

Oh and I found out that while I was at my GP office, I was supposed to get a EKG done - of course, no one at FLWLP told me that and my doc couldn't find any information of anything that he was supposed to do :{ (I don't know how to make an angry face?? but that is my feeble attempt). Anyway - so now I have to stop back down to his office at some point and get hooked up to an EKG...

Dr. Weiss' office called to schedule the Psych. Consult this weekend... what they didn't tell me when I joined the program for $300.00 was that now they were going to ask for another $150.00 to cover a freakin' "What if" scenario??? She said they needed it in case my insurance didn't cover the Psych consult??? WTF lady, ummm how bout you bill me if they don't cover it OR even better, let me go to a local psych that is in my member directory for my HMO??? Any psych should be able to give them a letter of "She's not crazy" for this thing to go through. So basically, they are NOT getting another $150.00 and by even asking, that kinda put a bad taste in my mouth - not what you are looking for in your bariatric surgeon :( I think I'm going to call them today and talk about that with them. UPDATE: my sister is calling them today to set up a local psych consult. I guess they weren't crappy about letting us go somewhere else - so I won't give them the business quite yet.

I feel bad for feeling irked about this whole thing but Am I wrong? Should I just pay the $150.00 and shut up about it?? Would you get a bad taste in your mouth after a move like that???

I got tagged!!!

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:22:00 +0000

I just realized that I was tagged to write about 5 classes to fix my life by a great blogger friend who blogs about remodeling her life and so here is my pitiful attempt - we are suppose to write about 5 classes you would like to take to better yourself and then at least one that you'd want to take with the one that tagged you... so this is for you...

Composting 101 - I would be honored to take this class with you - I love composting (I know... I know, but it makes the most beautiful soil come spring!!) I have 2 compost bins right now made with forklift flats (gotta let in some air, you know). One is "simmering" while the other is being filled with leaves, egg shells, coffee grounds, banana peels - you name it! I also keep a small bin inside to collect all the refuse before I take it out to the bin (or at least before I make my 11 year old take it out - Peeyewww). I try to turn the soil once a week but sometimes get lazy with that. I would love to learn more - like making compost tea and using worm castings... OMG I never really realized what a Granola dork I really am... Heehee
Nutrition 101 - I need this class FAST! I have to learn to eat Non-Processed! No more boxes and bags of polysorbate 80, High Fructose Corn Syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean oil and whatever else I have been torturing my gut to absorb over the past 35 years!!
Fashion 101 - I am a Birkenstock lovin, jeans wearin, sweatshirt snugglin, granny pantie supportin, sports bra-aholic gal... need I say more??
Meditation 101 - I would love to learn to chill the freak out! There are many things that I can be relaxed about (my work, my clothes, my weight) but I'm running around my house until 9:30 at night, cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, on-line checking blogs and message boards.. I would like to learn that the dishes can wait - go play with your kids!!
DCHA - That would be the Diet CokeHeads Anonymous Class: I'm ashamed to say that I must drink at least 4 of these things a day - they are like air to me... must have Diet Coke... Diet Pepsi - that's so not hot - Diet Coke - now that's the Fo Shizzle Dizzle :D

and who to tag... hmmm

I'll tag Bariatric Brat!

Another one bites the dust

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:12:00 +0000

Well - I went to see my GP about the surgery and he thinks it's a great idea! WHEW! He did tell me that most of his patients that have done this are having fantastic results (although he's never had anyone go through Finger Lakes WLP - he's sent people to Highland Hospital in Rochester) and that he looked at my blood work and everything looked great - except my cholesterol is up to 231 YIKES! I have to call the FLWLP and see if I can get this psych test scheduled for the 6th - I'm supposed to go back and talk to the nutritionist then - she's going to be pissed - I'm not keeping my food journal like I'm supposed to :(

So to update:

Blood tests - done
endoscopy - done
Psych test -
Family Doc Visit - done
Go to 3 support meetings at the FL Weight loss Center

3 down - 2 to go!

In search of other WLS patients

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 02:23:00 +0000

I've spent most of my free time today looking around trying to find blogs similar to mine that talk about the journey to becoming thin - the journey through the whole experience of WLS and I'm annoyed... there are a few good ones out there.. RenewedReflections is more of a whole new world of gastric bypass patients - don't get me wrong there is tons of information there but I feel like I would almost have to abandon this blog in order to follow anyone else's journey - it's more of a message board which is great when I can think of a question to answer - but my biggest question has 1,000 answers "what should I expect after surgery?" I want to know how my gut will feel the day after surgery - "will I be in some kind of incredible pain?, will I feel like eating at all? Will I be hungry all the time?" I'm going to continue my search to answer these questions for me, for you, for anyone who needs to know this stuff...

oh along my way, I found Living After WLS and I really have enjoyed this blog - Kaye talks about the idea that Hunger is not an Emergency this is well worth the read by someone suffering from food addiction. She gives some great recipes too and I'm hoping that as I dig deeper into her blog I may find some answers to my questions.

The endoscopy

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 22:38:00 +0000

I arrived at the hospital at 10:00 AM and went right into the day surgery waiting room. I waited there for only 20 minutes and they called me in. They had me strip down to just my socks and underwear and put a gown on and get into the hospital bed. After that they came in and took my vital signs (blood pressure was 160/80, my temperature and heart rate), then hooked me up to an IV with saline for the time being. The most traumatic part of the pre-op stuff was the IV - since you can't eat or drink anything after midnight, my veins were all peezy and small so they had to get a vein on the side of my wrist OUCH! Well, it wasn't horrible, but I'm kinda a woos...

My husband came back, we filled out some paperwork (mostly HIPA stuff) and then the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I gave my husband a kiss and then I was off to surgery...

Once I got to the FREEZING OR - they hooked me up to 4 different heart monitor things, a blood pressure cuff and then I had to drink the CRAP... OMG it's like runny Vick's vapor rub YUCK! but I guess it is useful for numbing the back of your throat and removing your gag reflex. The last thing I remember is them putting in a hard plastic thing in my mouth to keep me from biting down on the scope... the OUT..........

The whole thing took 10 minutes, my husband was waiting for me in the recovery room. I was pretty groggy -I had double vision for at least 20 minutes. The nurse came in, took my vitals again - my bp was much better - I guess a good sedative will do that for you... and she told me I could have a drink in 1/2 hour. And that was pretty much it... Sorry for the play-by-play boringish re-telling of the day but one of the things I want to make sure I do with this blog is let other peeps know exactly what to expect - since as of right now, I don't have any idea.

When I got home from the hospital, I slept for about 2 hours and am up now. I'm not hungry at all and I kind of have heart-burn right now but I don't know if those are from the surgery or not..

So to update:

Blood tests - done
endoscopy - done
Psych test -
Family Doc Visit - scheduled for 11/29
Go to 3 support meetings at the FL Weight loss Center

2 down - 3 to go!

Feeling the Pressure

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 02:31:00 +0000

Only 2 more days until my upper endoscopy and for some reason my nerves are freaking nuts right now. I can't sit still because I'm freaked out about it. I have no idea why. Usually with any kind of "conscience sedation" I'm OUT - like a light. I know people who are almost completely wide awake and can tell what's going on but not me - so why should I be nervous. My husband is going with me and he's going to talk to the surgeon - maybe that's why I'm nervous - maybe it's because I haven't been doing really as well as I should be right now. I'm not keeping track of my calories (I'm supposed to be only having 1500 - 1800) and I haven't been going to the support groups. I have to go to 3 before I can have the surgery... Next week I'm really going to try to do this the right way.

I tried to register on fatblog.com and for some reason I can't - some computer glitch I'm assuming but I'm hoping they have a lot of great information for me and anyone else considering GBS (gastric bypass surgery).

Tomorrow is my husbands birthday so we are going out to dinner - so my next update will be after the endoscopy - keep your fingers crossed for me :)

Thanksgiving

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 14:49:00 +0000

Well, as many of you probably can guess... being that this maybe my LAST REAL Thanksgiving... I ate way too much... Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing all covered in gravy... broccoli casserole, fruit salad, green bean cassarole, pumpkin pie cheesecake, blueberry cheese cake... OMG I was so full - I know that I have to get out of the mindset that "I better eat it now, becasue soon I won't be able to" but it's so hard - when I see something I want, I really want it now. I've lost a pound of the 10 I need to lose before surgery - I've heard that some people start drinking the bariatric shakes like a week before surgery in order to make room in there for the Doc to do his thing.. I think I should start looking into that. I'm going to start checking out some other blogs on-line about Bariatric Surgery... I found FatBlog.org and I'm going to register there and see what kind of insite I can get.
The hospital called yesterday to pre-register me for my endoscopy... I hope it all goes smoothly.

Grrrrrrr

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:43:00 +0000

Well, I weighed in last night to my TOPS meeting and lost another 0.5 lb - once again, I'll take it - better than going the other way, I guess. But during the meeting I let everyone know that I wouldn't be going to the next one because of my endoscopy and doesn't Our fearless leader - "Nicky", pipe in and tell me how she saw "Karen" and she looked HORRIBLE - sickly and flabby. Then another hen pecked in about how her 30 year old friend's friend died shortly after gastric bypass surgery... now, I'm hoping that they are just being over-protective but my God - this is supposed to be a support group - not a headhunt! I'm doing this - I'm an intelligent woman and have weighed the options - I've looked into different places to get this done, talked people that have had it done through this doctor and all have said the same thing - "I would do it again if I had to" or "best decision I've ever made". I've been reading Craig "Big-T" Thompson's website Renewed Reflections and it really has wonderful information on it about everything Gastric Bypass related. There are so many before and after photos that really motivate me to take my next step with this. I'm scared about the excess skin issue afterwards but I'll have to cross that bridge when I get there. I'm crossing my fingers that I don't have to have that surgery... Here are some before and after pictures from Big-T's site that kind of correspond with my weight and what I'm hoping for...

The Endoscopy is Scheduled

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:16:00 +0000

I called and scheduled my endoscopy for Tuesday November 27th. My husband is going with me (Thank God) and the surgeon said that while he's doing the scope he would try to describe the gastric bypass procedure to my husband so that he knows what to expect.

So:

Blood tests - done
endoscopy - scheduled for 11/27
Psych test -
Family Doc Visit - scheduled for 11/29
Go to 3 support meetings at the FL Weight loss Center

I can't believe it's so close to really happening... I found this great video description on about.com

What Is Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass?
The Digestive Process:
The digestive process begins in the mouth, where chewing and saliva breakdown food. Digestion continues in the stomach, where food is turned into a liquid called chyme.Chyme next passes into the small intestine. Here, enzymes from the pancreas and liver further digest food. It is also in the small intestine where all nutrients and vitamins are absorbed. Small fingerlike projections lining the small intestine, called villi, enable digested food to enter the bloodstream.
The First Step of Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass:
The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass (RYGB) is the most frequently performed weight loss procedure in the USA.During the first part of RYGB, a small pouch is created in the stomach with staples. This step restricts the amount of food the patient can consume to approximately one ounce. The remaining, larger part of the stomach is then separated from the pouch but is not removed.
The Second Step of RYGB:
The second step of this procedure involves dividing the small intestine just below the duodenum, the first section of the small intestine. Next, the second section of the small intestine, the jejunum, is brought up and is connected to the newly created pouch. The duodenum is then reconnected to the new intestinal limb giving the intestine the "Y" shape for which the procedure is named. By bypassing the duodenum, absorption of nutrients and calories is prevented, resulting in significant weight loss.
Risks of RYGB:
Complications specific to the RYGB include "dumping syndrome," hernias, and nutritional deficiencies.

OMG the Blood Tests

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 14:50:00 +0000

Sorry I've been a slack blogger for 2 days - I was out of town at a Relay for Life Summit. Before I left for the summit the FL Weight Loss Program called and wanted to schedule the endoscopy. Dr. Weiss (the bariatric surgeon) wants to look down there and check everything out before he stats hackin' away - I take that as a good sign. They want to do the endoscopy on Tuesday after Thanksgiving but I'm still waiting to see if DH can get off work to take me.
After they called I went to go get my blood tests drawn - O M G... 8 yes, 8 vials of blood they took!!! I had to basically get a blood panel done for everything under the sun - including an HIV test - if that comes back screwy DH is going to be minus a part or two LOL.
There are a slew of tests that I'm supposed to take before getting the surgery and I'm part way there....

Blood tests - done
endoscopy - in the process of scheduling
Psych test -
Family Doc Visit - scheduled for 11/29
Go to 3 support meetings at the FL Weight loss Center

Other procedures that Dr. Weiss didn't think I needed were:

Hematology consult
Pulmonology consult - although I have to get a copy of my PFT (pulmonary function test) from my pulmonologist since I have asthma and emphysema
Cardiology consult - I had a stress test last year and all was good so Dr. Weiss didn't feel it was necessary.
Gallbladder U/S - my gallbladder was removed in 2002

I haven't weighed in since Tuesday but I'm not thinking I'm doing very well - traveling always has been a sad excuse for me to make bad food choices and my DH and I have been arguing (along with my 11 year old and I) so I think I've been stress eating :(

The decision

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:02:00 +0000

The FLWLP (Fingerlakes Weight Loss Program) was introduced to me through my TOPS group - Our group had a lady from a neighboring town (I'll call her "Karen") visit our meeting. She was talking about losing weight by using a "points type" food exchange system. Many of the ladies in my TOPS group knew "Karen" and noticed that she had lost quite a bit of weight recently. So they asked her if that (doing the food exchange) was how she had lost the weight. Um No. She had lost 40 lbs in 3 months by having a Roux en Y Gastric Bypass. "Karen's" daughter had already had the surgery and had lost 50 or so pounds and "Karen" said she felt great. As she talked a little about the criteria for gastric bypass surgery - I was interested but hadn't thought too much about the procedure because I never considered myself "morbidly obese", it's hard to think of yourself being classified that way but I guess that's where I am in my life right now, and I have to face it and do something about it. I really starting thinking that this might be the way for me to go. Well, Karen talked for about 30 minutes about the hospital, the surgeon; Dr. Weiss, and about how she was feeling since having the surgery. She was feeling 20 years younger, energetic, full of life. She did mention the down sides - extremely small meals, "dumping" syndrome" and feeling dizzy sometimes. But she said she would do it again 100x. Man, that dumping thing does NOT sound fun at all - this is when your body has an adverse reaction (sweating, nausea, vomiting, dizziness) to certain foods, usually sugary foods so I figured, hell, I don't need to be eating that crap anyway... but then I found out that this doesn't just include things like candy and cakes - it could also be experienced by having orange juice or any foods with natural sugars. That part scared me a bit... you don't really think about all the foods you love that contain sugar until the thought of them being taken away is put in front of you. The next week at my TOPS group, I talked to a couple other members and none of them ever considered doing this... that totally confused me. I'm the youngest and probably one of the smaller woman in the group so maybe that's why I seemed willing but mainly I was debating this because I don't think I can spend another year in this FAT body of mine... I've always been willing to put my health at risk for weight loss but usually it isn't under a doctors care LOL... So between when "Karen" came to visit our TOPS group and a couple of weeks after, I did a bunch of web research about the pros, the cons, the mortality rate, the surgeon, and the FLWLC.
I looked on-line at the FLWLP and filled out some registration stuff just to "see" what would happen and within about an hour of filling it out - I got a call from a very sweet older woman asking when I'd like to come in for the initial consultation. Before I agreed to even make the appointment I had to really dig deeper, talk with "Karen" again and try to find others who had already had the surgery. I checked out some on-line information I loved reading Bariatric Brat's blog - AM I READY?
Step 1 - Give dieting a chance - ummm yeah - I've tried and failed for the last 25 years...
Step 2 - Check your BMI - mines 40 - perfect candidate for the surgery
Step 3 - Schedule an appointment - OK - I was working on that one
Step 4 - Talk to a weight loss counselor - That would be taken care of during my visits to the FLWLC.

So I asked myself that question "AM I READY?" ... I am!

TOPS

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 02:01:00 +0000

Well, I weighed in today at my TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) meeting and I lost 0.5 lbs - not great but at least it isn't gaining! I have been going to TOPS for a year now and I have gained 10 pounds since the start - I don't know how that happens - well, I do know - it's midnight trips to the fridge (freezer really - Ice cream is my nemesis).

I tried talking to the group about the possibility of a gastric bypass... were people there in favor of and supportive of the procedure or was it something shunned by the fat community? I was kinda shocked to hear that there was really only one woman who said "good for you" for considering it... the rest were "concerned" about the fatality rate, side effects and skin issues after the surgery... although I got the sense that most of them felt like I was trying to take the "easy way" out... WTH? I would be forcing myself to NEVER have many of the things in life that I love - chocolates, candies, pizza, creamer for my coffee!!!! I don't consider it "easy" by any means! Well, Ef-em... This is something I really am contemplating doing... One of the ladies even kept reminding me about friends of friends that had died and how I'd be leaving my children without a mother... OMG - way to be supportive at my "weight loss support group". I am an intelligent person and wouldn't dream of doing something this drastic without checking out all the possible outcomes.

How did I get here...

tferrin@fltg.net (Teri) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:21:00 +0000

I guess if I'm going to discuss my surgery I have to face all the facts - how did I get here? I come from a long line of obese relatives. My Mother and Father (passed away) are both obese (morbidly). My sister is also obese - medically termed as super morbidly obese. And then there is me - I'm the "small" one... 35, 5'2" and 225 pounds - YIKES - that is freaky to even think about.

I think I have been concerned about my weight all my life - I can remember being on a diet with I was 10 and weighed 165 lbs. I've been through bouts of bulimia, anorexia, binge eating, secret eating - in 1998 I weighed 97 lbs. I have a biological daughter that is 3 and an adopted daughter that is 11 and it's for them that I do this. My father died at 54 from stomach cancer - I'm certain that it was due to the plenitude of crap that he piled into his gut on a daily basis - we were a family raised on fast food, pizza and hamburger helper.. Now, with my own family - I can't bear the thought of leaving this world earlier than I should because I was fat... I have many problems that are attributed to my weight - I have Emphysema (yes, at 35 and NO I don't smoke - used to smoke about 1/2 pack a day - but quit 2 years ago on the 24th of November), I also have high blood pressure, plantar faciitis, asthma, reflux and suffer from depression and anxiety... What a mess...

So - I need to get healthy and I've tried as many diets as I can think of - Weight Watchers would work for me if I actually stuck to it - I've also done more diet pills than I care to really admit to. My big weight loss came from taking Caffeine, Ephedrine and an aspirin 3 times a day. I want to do this the "right" way - in a year from the surgery I should be able to eat a 1200 calorie a day diet - a normal diet - not a 2500 calorie a day diet that I'm shoving in now.

So I hope I am able to go through this with you all and I'll be posting some pictures soon... Don't get too grossed out when I do :( but If I want to track this - I need to face my fat!!! Here is a picture of my from my wedding - At that point I was bound in pretty tightly with spanx and I was about 10 lbs lighter.