My Own Little Corner

When’s it gonna be MY turn?

2012-02-13T20:44:00.001-08:00

Over the last decade, I’ve realized something:

Valentine’s Day SUCKS if you’re single.

Sure, family and friends might shower you with gifts, but the holiday’s emphasis on romance and couples is a downer.

When I was in junior high, the school had a table at lunch where anyone could buy a carnation (or 2 or 10) for anyone. Naturally, Country Sister and I bought flowers for each other. However, my high school didn’t have that. Instead, I was inundated with couples doing things for each other, mainly the boyfriends buying bouquets and balloons and whatnot for their girlfriends. College was somewhat similar, though not as obvious.

Sure, it’s nice getting things from my parents and other family members, and choice words from my ex-roommate lead me to realize that my 5 cousins are kind of my boyfriend replacements for now. Still, it’d be nice to feel like a guy liked me as more than a colleague or classmate or random stranger or whatever.

For those who might not know, here’s the thing about me and relationships:

You know those firsts you’re supposed to get in junior high and high school – first crush, first date, first kiss, first boyfriend, etc.? Yeah, I’m 25 and still waiting for those. I once put it this way: if every day was Valentine’s Day, I’d have never had a valentine. Ever. In my entire life.

In high school I used to think the reason guys weren’t attracted to me was because I didn’t wear Abercrombie & Fitch and American Eagle and whatever clothing brands were popular, and I didn’t listen to rap music and watch MTV (even then, I listened to country music and Disney artists and watched Disney Channel). And because I was a big girl who didn’t tan. Now that I’m a little older, I know it’s probably not the clothing and music and TV choices and my pale skin that drives the guys away; instead, most likely how shy I am and that I tend to keep to myself and mind my own business is a turn-off to guys.

So much for not judging a book by its cover.

I think this is why I’m a sucker for couplings of fictional characters, specifically on TV. I mean, I think just about every single show I watch has at least one couple that is or should be together and that is “shipped” by fans. I live vicariously through them because, well, I’ve never had that myself.

To be honest, I don’t want to be spared the pain I hear about in country songs. The kind of pain a girl only gets when the guy she’s dating dumps her or cheats on her or whatever. I know people complain about it, but there is a reason Taylor Swift writes so many songs about breaking up – from what I’ve seen, it happens ALL THE TIME. And I’ve heard that you learn from each broken heart, specifically about what you’re looking for in a spouse.

The problem is, other than parties and bars and clubs, I have no idea where to meet a guy except eHarmony and Match. And I’m not a partying, bar-hopping, club-going kind of girl. And I’m not sure I’m ready for (or can afford) online dating. Or dating in general. You see, I’m kind of contradictory about this: I want to date and get all those experiences but at the same time, I’m scared of what’s gonna happen. I’ve never been great at conversation, unless someone else is asking all the questions. And I know that my first kiss is gonna be even more awkward than a first kiss should be. Besides, what guy is gonna date a 25 year old who only has zero experience in romance? I should at least know by now that there’s more to a date than dinner and a movie.

Still, that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been impatiently waiting for my firsts to happen. Guess I gotta wait a little longer. Hopefully before I’m 30.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Can’t get her out of my head

2012-02-12T14:48:00.001-08:00

My memory is a weird thing.

It forgets some things that I need to remember – like chores that my parents ask me to do but don’t write down – and remembers other things that I don’t want to remember. Like my roommate from 3 years ago.

No matter how much I want to forget about her. No matter how little I talk about her (which helps because neither does my family). I will NEVER forget that experience and how she treated me.

And it shows in my bible reflections. While I’ve been more miss than hit with those (oops!), only once in the 8 times I’ve written the reflections has this roommate NOT been mentioned. OK, so technically twice, but in last night’s reflections on the God Girl entry on obedience, I wanted to include her in my reflections but couldn’t figure out how.

Source

Yes, obedience. My ex-roommate treated me so horribly that I was afraid to not do what she asked of me. The thought of “What horrible thing would she do next?” was always on my mind.

For those who haven’t read the post or who don’t want to (it’s quite long so I understand if you don’t), here’s the Reader’s Digest version: my roommate from 3 years ago was a flat-out bully to me. Here’s some examples of how she treated me:

She moved my things around without asking me.
She accused me of using her bathroom items (like the bar of soap that was placed UNDERNEATH the shower head) and eating her food.
She downgraded the cable without talking to me about it (small thing, I know, but the “not talking to me about it” is what really gets me).
She banned me from cleaning the apartment just because I used a Swiffer Clean Sweep instead of a sponge mop and bucket of soapy water.
She also banned me from using her microwave, couch, TV, and anything of hers just because I left 2 very faint, barely-there sauce stains in her microwave.

She was also a bit of a hypocrite: among other things, she would tell me to clean up after myself and yet, when she got anything of mine dirty (e.g. tea stains on my white coffee table), she didn’t seem to feel the need to clean up after herself.

Source

How she treated me really affected me emotionally and mentally and psychologically. Probably one of the reasons she no longer considered me a friend was because I voiced my concerns to her about how she spent her time and how I was worried that she wasn’t spending enough time in her homework to get her GPA up, which she needed to be accepted into the teacher certification program at Central. Instead, I worried that 4 evenings a week was too much time to spend with her boyfriend. I figured she’d listen to me as I thought that telling friends your concerns was what friends did. Instead, she lashed out at me for this, saying that it was her life and her business so I needed to stay out of it. This negativity was basically how she reacted every time I made a suggestion or said something that contradicted her feelings and opinions. So ever since, every time I want to voice concerns or make a suggestions or voice opinions, I keep my mouth shut (which has probably made my shyness worse in social situations) for fear of someone reacting negatively. (I’m an emotional person; I don’t always take negativity well.) It doesn’t matter who the person is or how many times I tell myself that this person won’t be as harsh if the response is negative; I’m still going to think that that’s how people will react.

Source

What’s a little worrying is that it’s been 3 years; I’ve had so many more experiences since that girl walked out of my life. And yet, I can’t shake that year off. Or forget it.

I’m hoping that this is one of those things that just takes time. As in, longer than 3 years. Maybe once I get a job and experience all kinds of people – some OCD like my ex-roommate – and all kinds of opinions and suggestions, things will change. But until then, the memory of her and that year lives on whether I want it to or not. I just hope I’m good enough to hide it from my family.

Oh, and I think I’ve figured out what to do for my new blog button. I just need to figure out how to arrange the items for the picture. Stay tuned!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop

2012-02-08T00:11:00.000-08:00

Hey y’all! It’s that time of the week again – time to link up the pics that made you smile over the past week!

Ross is a very curious kitty cat

My Co-Host

I shouldn’t be relieved–shouldn’t I?

2012-02-05T11:32:00.001-08:00

Last Monday I had an interview for a Para educator position at one of the local elementary schools. The principal said that he would let me know by Tuesday or Wednesday their decision, no matter if I was hired or not.

They never called. Which probably means that I’m not getting the job.

For some reason, this is a bit of a relief to me.

While this teaching thing is fairly new to me (I first decided on it 7 years ago), I was used to it right away. Which is why I switched to Elementary Education upon realizing that English Education wasn’t for me: at the time, I had just about finished all the general education classes that all teaching majors at Central have to complete, and I didn’t want all those hours to be a complete waste. Plus, I still liked the idea of being a teacher and teaching grade school seemed more my speed than teaching high school English. After the student teaching incident, I still wanted to work in a classroom because I had enjoyed it, but the experience had made me realize that teachers are leaders, and when it comes to a job/career, I’m more of a follower than a leader. So I figured I could be a Para educator (a.k.a. teacher’s assistant).

Still, at the same time, I’d rather be at a desk in an office than in a classroom. It just seems more comfortable to me.

I know people change. I know I’ve changed. But major changes like this – my future, my possible jobs, my possible career – don’t seem to be me. I mean, there’s still a part of me that hasn’t come to terms with the fact that my dream of being a writer – one I’ve had since age 12 – isn’t going to come true.

I’m just confused about how I should feel about this. So for the time being, I’m just gonna keep applying to office jobs an Para jobs and wait to see what happens. Whatever’s right for me is bound to happen. Even if I’m not entirely sure about it.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Thankful Thursday

2012-02-02T00:03:00.001-08:00

Happy Thursday all! Time to think about what we’re thankful for!

My mom: I know, I should always be thankful for her. But as a job hunting college grad who doesn’t drive, being close with my part-time-working mom is a good thing. Plus, it’s always nice to spend some time with her, in the car, listening to country music, occasionally talking, going places we wouldn’t normally go.
Syndication: thanks to shows being able to air on other networks, I have discovered/re-discovered/been able to catch up on some awesome shows. I now regret not watching Friends in junior high and high school. And if it weren’t for TNT and Ion, I wouldn’t be able to watch Cold Case, which I discovered on the season-turned-series finale 2 years ago. Not to mention I’m able to catch up on shows I discovered long after the pilot: Gilmore Girls, Smallville, NCIS, the CSIs, HIMYM, Law & Order SVU, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, and, as of this upcoming summer (I’ve read), Castle.

What’s a little disappointing is that I usually can’t think of more than two for this. Sometimes I have to force myself to think of a second thing. Better than nothing, though, right?

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Will Blog for Loan Payments

2012-01-28T20:51:00.001-08:00

I’m such a horrible blogger.

My goal with the new blog name and whatnot was to maybe blog more often. But as you’ve noticed, without the TV recaps, I never blog. Probably why I lost 2 followers the other day. The bigger part of it is because I don’t really have anything to say because of the whole “not a mom/wife/crafter/teacher/full-time baker” thing. The other, much smaller part is that I’m still not used to opening up. Only time will tell if I can change this.

Anyway, on to what I want to blog about:

Job hunting as a post-grad sucks.

Source

I know I’m not the only one searching for a job. I know I’m not the only one applying to be a Para educator or an administrative assistant. I know I’m not the only one with experience. But at the same time, I feel that I have enough experience to at least garner an interview at most of the places that I apply to.

Instead, it’s rare that my phone rings and the caller ID gives a city instead of a name on my contact list.

I almost got a customer service position last month, complete with training, but when deciding, they went with other candidates.

It’s not that I’m not trying: I have a couple of job search sites bookmarked that include options for Seattle-area office jobs. I have accounts with a couple other job search sites that send me e-mails with job suggestions based on my preferences. And I have accounts with job search services that call me when they have a job in my preferred field.

Source

And yet, rarely an interview.

I’m getting frustrated. I had to defer my student loan repayment because I’m still unemployed. I’m so desperate for a job that I’m looking at part-time and temporary work too – anything to get me out of the house for a few hours a day and start paying off the 5+ years of student loans that I’ve accumulated.

I sometimes wonder if this all could have been avoided if I’d just majored in writing to begin with. Sure, I wouldn’t have as much knowledge and experience for working in a classroom, but who knows – maybe I wouldn’t have gone with my mom to all of her sub jobs if I had been focused on writing and working in an office. Still, I would have been done in the normal 4 year time frame and would be working in an office by now and my student loans would be almost paid off. Or at least getting there.

I don’t know what else to do. I mean, I make sure that I fit the requirements (or most) before applying. So it’s not like I’m applying for jobs that require 5-10 years of full-time experience when I only have about 4 years’ worth of part-time experience. This is actually a contradiction that I’ve noticed in all the years that I’ve job hunted: how am I supposed to get experience when I’m not given the change to gain it?

I’m just glad my parents are letting me live at home until I find a job and make enough money to move out. Otherwise, I’d be screwed.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-25T21:11:00.001-08:00

Rain! – I never thought I’d be grateful for rain. But it got rid of the evil snow so for that, I am thankful for rain.
TV news on Twitter: I’m an entertainment news junkie, specifically TV. When I joined Twitter last summer, I discovered a few TV news sites that I’d either not paid attention to before or that I’d never heard of. Ever since I started following the likes of SpoilerTV and BuddyTV, I’ve seen more sneak peaks and pictures and read more episode press releases than I thought I ever would on my shows. And I’m LOVING it!

Oh, and don’t forget: I’m still looking for ideas for my new blog button. I know y’all have got some. I’d like to hear them!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop

2012-01-25T17:11:00.001-08:00

Welcome once again to the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!

One of many obstacles I had to adjust to on my walking route post-Snowpocalypse. Pretty cool huh?

My Co-Host

Chip Lover’s Cupcakes

2012-01-21T21:10:00.001-08:00

Before heading to Tacoma to spend the day with my grandma (who was just as snow-bound as us), my mom asked me to bake something. Anything that we could all enjoy. I kind of wanted to make cupcakes, which I had to double-check Mr. Technology since I didn’t know if he would like them (what can I say – I’m a people pleaser). He didn’t seem to care so I decided to do chocolate chip ones, since those are always a favorite cookie (and sometimes seems like the only thing I bake around here when it’s not December).

I have a confession to make: I have a bit of a sickness when it comes to baking cookbooks. You know those magazines you see at the store that are nothing but recipes? Yeah, I tend to grab the baking ones. One such small magazine is strictly cupcakes, where I found a great chocolate chip cupcake recipe.

Chip Lover’s Cupcakes

Yield: 1 1/2 dozen

1 package (18 1/4 oz.) white cake mix
1/4 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar (a.k.a. powdered sugar)
1/4 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

Buttercream frosting

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
4 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
4 tablespoons milk, divided
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup baking cocoa
18 miniature chocolate chip cookies

Prepare cake batter according to package directions; set aside. For filling, in a small bowl, cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in flour and confectioners’ sugar until blended. Fold in chocolate chips.
Fill paper-lined muffin cups half full with cake batter. Drop filling by tablespoonfuls into the center of each; cover with remaining batter.
Bake at 350° for 20-22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.
For frosting, in a large bowl, cream the butter, shortening, and confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Beat in 3 tablespoons milk and vanilla until creamy. Set aside 1 cup frosting; frost cupcakes with remaining frosting.
Stir baking coca and remaining milk into reserved frosting. Cut a small hole in a corner of a pastry or plastic bag; insert star tip. Fill bag with chocolate frosting. Pipe a rosette on top of each cupcake; garnish with a cookie.

I did a bit of improv with these. First, when putting the cookie dough mixture in the cupcake batter, I ran out. So I just grabbed some more of the mini chocolate chips and sprinkled them in the remaining 3 cupcakes.

Then when I was covering the dough with batter, I ran out almost immediately. The only solution I came up with was to push the dough into the batter and cover it up.

While looking at the recipe to type it up, I noticed the problem: I did 2 dozen instead of 1 1/2 dozen. Whoops!

I also didn’t have mini chocolate chip cookies. So instead, I made the most of the extra chocolate frosting (which there was a lot of) and made more chocolate frosting rosettes. Though I failed in trying to make some look like chocolate chips.

Not sure how well they’re liked. I’m pretty much the only one who’s had one (it is Saturday night, after all). But they were delicious. To me, the cookie dough middle was undercooked but then again, I haven’t really had a cupcake with a center that wasn’t cream. So I can’t really compare this to past baked goods.

Oh, and don’t forget that I’m still looking for ideas for my new blog button (yes, I’m desperate). Just shoot me an e-mail if you have one. Please?

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow–NOT!

2012-01-20T21:12:00.001-08:00

I hate snow.

To be honest, I’m not sure I ever have. Growing up, I remember staying inside on snow days while my dad and brothers played outside. Sure, there are pictures of me playing in snow from those days but for the most part, I stayed inside.

Fortunately, the Puget Sound doesn’t get a lot of snow. So this was never a problem. Until I went to Central.

So. Much. Snow.

For some reason, I don’t remember that much snow or the white stuff being a problem. And even though Ellensburg is more prepared for snow, I still grew to hate it the 6 winters I had to endure it. Because I discovered that snow tends to bring its best friend with it: ice.

And ice can be dangerous. Even when all you’re doing is walking to class. Needless to say, I was glad to graduate and get away from snowy, icy winters.

So imagine my frustration when I read the weather report last week and snow was predicted for this week. I figured that it wouldn’t be much though.

WRONG!

Source

Instead, I’ve pretty much been stuck inside all week as the snow refused to go away. I went out three times: once to get the mail when there wasn’t that much snow; once to help my mom take some donations to Value Village; and last night when our power was out and we went to Nonni’s for a few hours since Renton had power. All three times were reluctantly and I proceeded with caution as I got in and out of the car when it wasn’t in the garage.

The rest of the week, I had extra time from not exercising. Which I actually didn’t like. Sure, the extra time to read e-mails and blogs was nice but I prefer it the other way. All this inactivity developed a bigger cabin fever than I’ve ever had before.

Source

I’ve been itching to get out of the house and go walking around our neighborhood again. It’s usually my favorite part of the day. Both hours I go.

Fortunately, Seattle’s Snowpocalypse 2012 is pretty much over. Beginning today, we’re getting our rain back. And warmer weather. I’m hoping to go on at least one hour-long walk by Sunday. Or this time next week. Whichever day comes first and has snow on grass only. I’ll even walk in the rain and risk getting the bottom 1/3 of my jeans wet. I’m that desperate.

Enjoy your weekend!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

P.S. Still looking for ideas for a new blog button to go with my new blog. Any ideas will work.

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-18T19:47:00.001-08:00

It’s back – I think. I hope.

I stopped Thankful Thursdays sometime last year for 2 reasons: 1) pretty much all my posts were Wordless Wednesday and Thankful Thursday and 2) school got too busy. However, I’m hoping to start Thankful Thursday again. Here’s what I’m thankful for over the first couple weeks of the new year:

The MyFitnessPal app: it’s true – you can find an app for anything these days. Case in point: the food/exercise diary site that I use has an app. This makes it easy to track my food while I’m away. That was kind of a problem last year: I would often forget to log what I eat when I got home. And convenience away from home isn’t the best part: there’s a barcode scanner! So instead of searching and guessing which result is what I’m eating, I just scan the barcode and enter! My mom’s even jealous because she doesn’t think that Weight Watchers had something like that years ago (though she’s not a smartphone person so I’m not sure how it would help her anyway).
Bible and Daily Readings apps: it just seems easier to pull up a bible app instead of pulling my bible off the shelf next to me to look up a verse that I see online (specifically Twitter). They’re also easy to navigate and find a specific book, chapter, and verse. I also found a few apps that give the daily bible readings for the Catholic church. Again, much easier to have them at my side, on my little phone, than to keep my big laptop open for just a few references. Sure, I’ve kind of failed at my New Year’s “guideline” for the past week and a half but I’m hoping to get back on track in the next few days and I know the Daily Readings apps will up date with me.
Episodes of my favorite shows are available online: last month we got a new, big screen, HD TV. The problem? My dad and brothers seem to think it’s only use is for watching sports. Sure, my mom and I have snagged a turn (Castle’s wedding episode! ) and my dad watches movies, but sports seem to be constantly on. Which is why I’m glad that OnDemand isn’t the only place to catch up on your shows for free. If the network’s site doesn’t have the show (*cough*cough* Mike & Molly *cough*cough*), I have other sites to go to. The picture might not always be clear but it works.
Job search resources: there are a lot of job search sites and companies that help you search for the kind of job that you want and where you want to work. I’m a member of many of them and some sites even send me job recommendation e-mails. Sure, I’ve rarely gotten interviews, but I’ve at least found possible jobs and applied for them.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll hopefully be back next week.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop

2012-01-17T22:09:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop! Time to link up your pics!

We had a lovely sunset on Friday night

My mom called it “God’s painting” (or something like that)

The sunset was actually more red than this. Usually a sign of an upcoming storm, right? Makes sense since this is the week of a predicted snow storm. Hmm…

Enjoy the rest of your week!

My Co-Host

What a wimp!

2012-01-14T21:35:00.001-08:00

Seriously, I am.

For the past 6 winters, from Thanksgiving until St. Patrick’s Day (Valentine’s Day if I was lucky), I’ve been surrounded by snow and ice and temperature in the teens. So you’d think I’d be accustomed to cold weather and would even consider Seattle’s recent 30-45 degree temps to be warm.

Source

Um, no.

Instead, I’ve (silently) complained about the cold every day. I even think our house is cold despite my dad keeping it at about 65 degrees all day.

I guess 3-4 months out of the year for 6 years straight doesn’t quite accustom your body to certain environments.

This looks pretty much like what I walked through daily at school (Source)

It does, however, make you paranoid when you had to walk in ice and slippery snow every day and you started to recognize when concrete MIGHT be black ice. For about a month, every time I go walking around our neighborhood in 30-something degree weather, I always fear that wet and shiny ground is icy and will make me fall and hurt myself. Again. Not sure how long it’s gonna take me to realize that that’s not always the case. Although it’s been 3 years since I lived with The Roommate and I’m still not over it. No matter how much my mom and I want me to be. Anyways…

To make things worse, Seattle is supposed to get snow in the next couple days. I guess some cities in the Puget Sound already got some today so it’s only a matter of time before we get some. And to be honest, being around it for 6 years made me hate it more than love it.

Though I do admit, even though it’s too cold outside, when there’s obviously no icy paths, snow is pretty to look at:

Happy weekend!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

P.S. Still looking for ideas for a new button to match my new blog. I have no idea what to do.

It must be because today’s Friday the 13th–I think

2012-01-13T17:35:00.001-08:00

I’m not superstitious. Sure I try to step over cracks in the sidewalk but mostly just for fun. I don’t get nervous when I see a black cat or a broken mirror. I’ve never been weary of Friday the 13th when it comes around.

Source

However, I still kind of felt like things were going a little wrong for me today because it’s Friday the 13th.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like everything’s going wrong even though it’s only little, brush-it-off things that keep happening? Well, today kind of seemed like one of those days for me. And I kind of wonder if it still would’ve happened if today weren’t Friday the 13th.

Source

It started out as something simple: I was at the grocery store and grabbed a pack of juice boxes (the 4 oz. size. Perfect for taking medication). Just as I was pulling it off the shelf, I accidentally dropped it and the plastic wrapping split open. Since this has happened before, I just brushed it off. But later, when I was emptying the dishwasher, I kept dropping cooking utensils as I pulled them out of the silverware tray and knocking my mom’s coffee tumbler over. Le sigh.

Sure, the rest of the day was great. And I was lucky that none of the breakable dishes and glasses were part of what I dropped. Still, I kind of felt that Friday the 13th was taking over for a little while.

Or maybe God was mad at me for going to bed so late every night this week that I didn’t have time to keep up with my readings. But I doubt He would do something like that – right?

Oh well. Like I said, the rest of my day had no hitches to it. Unless you count the weekly cryfest that is Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. After all, it is the series finale tonight. Not to mention 7 homes in 7 days for Joplin. Despite being sensitive, I normally don’t cry at this show. Just a lump in the throat. Tonight might change that.

Have a great weekend y’all!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

P.S. Still looking for ideas for my new blog button. No idea how to approach “My Own Little Corner.” Literal or not?

More new changes for the new blog!

2012-01-07T20:25:00.001-08:00

This is the last post on just my new blog, I promise! (as soon as I create a new button, I’ll just reference to it.)

Because my blog’s new direction is not about me as a writer, I decided to get rid of my blogland name, Sarah the Writer. However, just plain “Sarah” didn’t feel right and to me, it looked lonely and short. So I decided to change that.

So now, you’ll see me sign my posts as Sarah Elizabeth Ann, which is also how I’ll appear in Blogger and on Twitter. (speaking of Twitter, I’ve also decided to change my Twitter handle to my blog name. My new Twitter handle is @myownlittlecrnr. Still trying to decide if I want to go through the hassle of changing my Gmail username.)

Elizabeth is my middle name (Sarah Elizabeth – how original, right?). The Ann is to go with my Confirmation name/saint. In the Catholic Church, when you go through Confirmation, you pick a saint whose life you want to emulate. At the time I did my Confirmation in 2007, I wanted to be a teacher. My great-aunt (who I chose as my sponsor – I think that’s the name. She’s kind of like a godparent, my spiritual guide) told me about Elizabeth Ann Seton, who was a teacher and founded the parochial/Catholic school system. I might not want to be a teacher now but I do want to be a teacher’s assistant. (Plus, I’m not sure you can change your saint after you’ve been Confirmed.)

Anyway, apparently your confirmation name is the name of your saint after your first and middle names. Since my middle name was already Elizabeth, I just tacked “Ann” on the end of my name. When I was thinking of what to do to make my blogland name feel right, I thought of this. I wanted to do “Princess Sarah” since “princess” is my nickname and my name means “God’s princess” in Hebrew (the language has some sort of connection to Christianity/the bible but I’m not sure what it is) but that also didn’t feel right to me.

Using my Confirmation name also goes along with my New Year’s resolution to read the bible every night in an attempt to be more religious.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend all!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

P.S. Speaking of a new button for my new blog, any ideas? I’m having a major creative block when trying to think of how to design it and what to do. I’m not sure if I want to go literal and put a bunch of items that show who I am in a chair in a corner and take a picture of that or do something else. Suggestions?

New Year, New Blog

2012-01-04T20:43:00.001-08:00

(OK, I know I’ve already written a few posts in 2012 under my old blog URL and name but at the same time, I felt the title was appropriate.)

It took me a while but I finally decided on a name. Just randomly on Sunday night, one of the songs from the stage version of Cinderella (the original that was written by Rogers and Hammerstein, which I saw back in November). The song is one that Cinderella sings after a day out in town, when she and her stepmother and stepsisters return home and the other three retreat to their bedrooms. Here’s the song from the movie version, the one that came out a while ago starring Brandy as Cinderella:

Brandy–In My Own Little Corner music video

Anyway, as you’ll probably discover after you finish reading this post, the chorus is a bit catchy and memorable. And for some reason, the lightbulb went on in my head for my new blog title.

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The more I thought about it, the more I liked it as a blog name. For one thing, this blog is kind of my own little corner of the world (granted, I just thought of this reason tonight, but it’s not false). It’s where I put (some of) my thoughts and where I express myself. It’s where I interact with others and can easily socialize. Even when I don’t have something to say, I like being in blogland, reading other blogs and comments and commenting on blogs.

For another thing, I live in Washington state, which is in the northwest corner of the US.

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Because I changed my URL, I’m hoping that y’all are still reading this. I’m not sure how to fix that if you can’t.

Now, to find an appropriate image for my button…

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Sarah

P.S. My e-mail and Twitter handle are still the same. Though I might change the Twitter handle to match my blog URL. I’d rather not go through the hassle of changing e-mails.

Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop

2012-01-04T12:41:00.001-08:00

Again, after a few more weeks of forgetting/not having a picture, the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop is back at This Writer’s Journey! So link up those wordless or semi-wordless pics and enjoy the first Wordless Wednesday of 2012!

Lucy-Audrey’s initials made with straw wrappers while at a New Year’s breakfast at IHOP

My Co-Host

P.S. I have decided on my blog's new name and URL. Post on that to come later today or sometime tomorrow, depending on free time I have.

I resolve to not resolve

2012-01-01T22:42:00.001-08:00

As I said yesterday, I’m not making resolutions this year. My habits tend to get in the way. I’m more making goals or guidelines for how I want to go about my life.

Keep a food and exercise diary

As I’ve probably mentioned, I’m a bit of a picky eater with a love of anything that’s basically bad for you. I’ve tried to get in the habit of choosing healthier snacks and sides but fail every single time. About a year ago, I started keeping a food and exercise diary online. There are a lot of advantages to the online version, mainly that I don’t have to guess on the nutritional information of what I eat. Another advantage is that there’s a calorie allotment for each day. This helps me decide what to eat for dinner and what and how much I eat for snacks. Anyway, I kind of fell off the wagon after vacation in July (strangely, I was somewhat good at keeping it up while on vacation). Eventually, I deleted my account from the site. To start the new year, I’ve re-joined MyFitnessPal.com. For those who also have an account with the site, my profile is http://www.myfitnesspal.com/BakingCountryGirl2011 if you want to join me. What’s also great is the iPhone app, which I of course have downloaded and have started using

Take my vitamins

I would prefer these but since they’re for kids, I can’t. So I take the boring adult ones.

Like the food diary, I was good about taking my vitamins every day until we got back from vacation in July. Because of my bad eating habits (see above), I want to start taking them again. Daily. Even when I’m out and about.

Read the bible daily, reflect, and pray

Back in July I contemplated about whether or not I’m a good Catholic because all I do is go to church every Sunday. For a while (yes, including while on vacation with my very Catholic family), I read the bible every night. I tried to reflect and write everything down in a journal but I didn’t really know what to say, though I did come up with interpretations in my head. This time, I’m going to write it all down, maybe even what I feel the verses are asking me to do. I’ve never really felt God’s or Jesus’s presence or anything so I’m hoping this somewhat makes up for that.

Avoid reading comments

No, not on blogs! I sometimes read those on others’ blogs and I ALWAYS read them on mine. I’m talking about comments on the news articles I read online – entertainment and otherwise. Not only does this waste my time but when I read negative words about a show/celebrity I like that I can’t just brush off, I get a little riled up in my head. Not good. I actually made this resolution last year (I think as a new quarter resolution for Winter 2011 to help me not be late for class or work) but I fell back into my old routine fairly quickly, especially after I graduated and had more time on my hands. This time, I’m serious about getting into the habit of NOT reading comments.

I think that’s about. I hope I can keep up with them.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

2011 in review

2011-12-31T23:00:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year’s all! This is kind of going to be two posts in one. I’m going to somewhat recap each month of 2011 through my posts. Then I’m going to share some of my “resolutions” for 2012. Though I’m not considering them resolutions; more like guidelines or goals. In other words, I’m not going to feel like a failure or feel that my resolutions were pointless and unnecessary.

So, anyway, on to the 2011 recap:

January: my FINAL winter quarter of college. I attended a lot of events on campus (which continued for the rest of the school year). I also celebrated my blog’s first birthday and voiced the worries that often cross my mind.

February: still plugging away at college in the snow. I didn’t write often, mainly because I didn’t have much to write about. I did voice my worries about post-college financials and explained what seems to have become an annual tradition in my family: celebrate all three February birthdays over the 3-day President’s Day weekend.

March: My last spring break and my last spring quarter of college. I talked about my Irish dancing days and what I was giving up for Lent. I also started to realize that graduation was fast approaching and starting to become real.

April: Spring quarter was in full swing. I had quite a few normal posts, including one about how I often get déjà vu; one about my bowling class; one about how I consider weekends to be paradise; and how cats and animals in general seem to sense what we can’t always.

May: The countdown to graduation was officially on. I recalled April 30, 2010, the day a year earlier that changed my college and career plans forever. I also recapped Family Weekend because for the first time, my parents and I attended the Mother’s Day Brunch that Central’s Dining Services always holds as part of the weekend.

June: I graduated from college and my family went to Boston, which was my first time on a plane in 9 years. I also took part in Relay for Life and mused over how my love of routines was about to be interrupted and how I had senioritis in college despite having never had it in high school.

July: I continued to look for jobs, this time as a post-grad. I worried about whether or not I’m really a Catholic and a writer just because I don’t practice either on a daily basis. I opened up about the bullying experience that I had in high school, which I call “silent bullying” as my classmates ignored me rather than teased me. I also shared an experience with an unlikely visitor to our day at the pool while we were on vacation.

August: The job search continued, although I was a bit reluctant to do so at times and preferred to strengthen my Bejeweled Blitz addiction. I also talked about my most memorable vacations and explained why in my opinion it would be better to be a cat. Despite being late in writing the posts, I talked about our last night on vacation and a day in Tacoma with my mom and grandma.

September: My 25th birthday! (although I didn’t know how to celebrate.) I also talked about my not-so-magical prom night, compared Toddlers & Tiaras to my competitive Irish dancing days, and remembered September 11, 2001, on the 10th anniversary. I also started recapping my TV shows and paid a visit to the American Girl Place, which now has a store in the Seattle area.

October: I took a brief break from the recaps but resumed with a new approach. I paid a tribute to my mom, a two-time breast cancer survivor and thought about my most memorable years after that was the theme of the week on Dancing with the Stars. I also wondered aloud about how feminine and womanly I am and who I feel is the most natural baby/toddler actor. In honor of October, I expressed my love for country music (October is National Country Music Month, ya know) and explained why I love fall.

November: Not much out of the ordinary, really. I went to the theater with my mom and her best friend, got an app for my blog, and continued with my recaps. I also voiced a favoritism for Harry Potter over Twilight despite having never read either series or seen any of the movies.

December: I almost got through the fall half of the current TV season with my recaps before realizing how stressed they make me. This in turn led to the realization that I’m not really the blogging type. After a couple week break, I did kind of miss blogging, so between that and encouragement from you lovely readers to continue, I decided to keep my blog but make some changes with how I approach it. Lastly, I posed a question and offered my answers to it, after the question was brought up at dinner with friends.

Well, there ya have it! That took longer than I thought so I’m gonna share my “resolutions” with y’all tomorrow.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

P.S. Still looking for inspiration for my blog’s new name. Not sure I want to keep it writing, especially since I have been considering getting rid of all the writing resource books I have as I contemplate making space in my room. And “Confessions of a Twenty-Something” seems too general. Any and all ideas are welcome as I’m having a major creativity/writer’s block with this.

What would you do tomorrow if you knew you wouldn’t fail?

2011-12-30T21:22:00.001-08:00

Last night the five of us (me, parents, and both brothers) went to a family friend’s house for dinner. While the guys were watching football and playing with the two little boys, my mom and the wife of the couple talked while I read magazines I’d brought and searched the App store. As usual with my mom, the topic of conversation varied. Somehow (like I said, I was reading)the question in my title came up: if you knew you wouldn’t fail at it, what would you do tomorrow?

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When I couldn’t think of something right away, both the wife and my mom suggested that I would drive. Which I probably would. There are times when I hate not having my license or a car. However, I rarely have somewhere to go that I can’t get by walking or that my mom is also going to. Though if she were to have some sort of emergency with her diabetes while driving, we’d be in trouble.

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After a little bit of thinking, I finally voiced the first thing that came to mind but I was a little weary of saying: to have my short stories published. I know I said that I’ve begun to realize that writing isn’t my thing, my career, like it used to be. But there’s still a part of me that wants to be a published writer. I’m assuming that part of this “wouldn’t fail” deal is that all resources needed are available. Because I don’t really know the first thing about how to get published, where to find an agent (specifically one for short story writers), etc. Query letter and other types of tips would also be nice.

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I also thought of another couple today. One is to do something with my love of baking. Maybe open a bakery; maybe do some catering or something. No fancy cakes or cupcake decorations like on TV, but desserts and baked goods to be enjoyed. A few guinea pigs to test/judge my experiments in decorating and new recipes wouldn’t hurt.

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I also thought of teaching. If I could be guaranteed to not fail at teaching the second time around, I’d go for it. I’ve always kind of wanted to teach but didn’t really think of it until high school when I needed a back-up plan to writing. I love working with kids. I was excited to be an elementary teacher until my student teaching tenure was cut short. Then I was excited to be a Para educator. Still am but for once in my life, I’d like to be in a leader position instead of the assistant. Teaching is the only place where I feel I’d be comfortable to be a leader.

So, my dear readers, I pose the same question to you: if you could do anything tomorrow, with the guarantee you wouldn’t fail at it, what would it be?

Happy New Year to all!

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Blog Update

2011-12-27T22:48:00.001-08:00

I’m still not sure if I want to keep this blog. The sides of me that do and don’t have been fighting since my last post. However, the side that wants to keep it has somewhat won out (at least for now). So I’m not leaving blogland just yet.

Being as how my family worrying about me if I open up on here was one of the reasons I didn’t want to continue with the blog, I’ve disconnected my blog from Networked Blogs on Facebook. Posts will still go to Twitter (since I think no one in my family who reads my blog has a Twitter) but I have more control as to which posts my family on Facebook read. So expect me to vent or wonder aloud quite more frequently on here. I just seem to open up more when I type and am hiding behind a computer screen.

I’m also thinking about changing my blog name and by extension, my blog URL (not sure if you’ll all have to unfollow and re-follow but I’ll let you know the URL just in case). The thing is, I’m not much of a writer anymore except for this blog. Sure, my major was Writing and my minor as an Ed major was Creative Writing (my dream for 13 years). But I barely write stories and poems. While I’m (probably) going to keep all my writing books and supplies that I’ve acquired over the years, I’m not sure I’m going to pursue a writing career like I’ve always planned. I just feel that my ability to write creatively is gone.

This is where y’all come in: what should the new name of my blog be? I would do something baking, seeing as how nearly EVERYTHING on my Christmas list was appliances and supplies to bake, but it’s not like I want to work in a bakery at the moment or went to pastry school(though that would be cool if I could or had). Instead, my dream career is either administrative assistant/secretary/receptionist or Para educator (though in my job search, I’ve been focusing primarily on the former). And like I said, I’m not a mom, a wife, a girlfriend, or a crafter. Nor does my family do out-of-the-ordinary things or do I have friends to do wild and crazy and fun things with, then blog about both later.

Oh, and I’m pretty much done with the TV recaps. Between the final new episodes of the fall part of the season and holiday-induced reruns, I’ve enjoyed being able to just watch my shows without having to summarize everything that’s going on (still haven’t caught everything, but that’s because my 13”, 10 year old TV has a recently acquired dark tint that makes most scenes dark and dark/night scenes almost black. Can’t exactly get what’s going on if you can’t see what’s going on). Recipes, of course, will continue. I love typing them up and sharing them with you just as much as I love baking them and taking pics to go with the posts.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

What am I doing here?

2011-12-13T22:19:00.001-08:00

Every time I think about my blog and blogland, this is the question that pops into my head first. I’m starting to wonder why I have a blog.

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I started it almost two years ago to document my journey and life as a teacher. When that part of my life changed, I kept the blog because, well, I wanted to. Then, abut a year ago, I discovered blogland. Through this discovery, however, I learned something:

I’m not the blogging type.

I’m not a wife – military or otherwise. I’m not a mom. I’m not a teacher. My family doesn’t travel often nor do we go on out-of-the-ordinary and exciting trips and vacations and excursions. I don’t have a job and there probably won’t be much to blog about an office job anyway. I don’t date, meaning I don’t have good and bad date stories to blog about. I don’t have friends to do crazy/fun stuff with that I can later blog about. I’m no longer a student (though even when I was, I didn’t post very frequently). I don’t know how to start my writing career or even if I do want to start it. I’m too shy to open up and write about random topics based on what I read online and see on TV. And because my family (most likely) reads my blog, I can’t vent about what goes on in my life for fear of hurting feelings or causing them to be worried about me. Except for my recipes – which I rarely post since I rarely bake – I don’t really have a reason to have a blog.

This is a thought that has drifted in and out of my head for the past several months. To make things worse/better, I watched a rerun of Castle last night and caught SO MUCH MORE than when it originally aired in October (granted, I just looked in my archives and realized that the episode aired the brief time I was rethinking the recaps, but still). And I actually think I enjoyed the episode a little more, too. Plus, they’ve started to feel like a chore or a homework assignment (the latter of which I’ve been done with for 6 months and would like to be done with for a while).

I don’t know if this is writer’s block or a creativity block or what. I just know that I feel like I’m letting myself and my readers down if all I post are recaps of my shows. I mean, if it weren’t for the recaps, I’d have almost nothing to post. You readers would probably forget that you’re following me and think that I forgot about my blog. Which wouldn’t be true (and I’m the kind of person who hates people thinking lies about me).

I’m highly considering shutting down my blog near the end of the year. I mean, why keep something I don’t really need? Though I will feel like I’m letting you all and myself down for giving up on something, I don’t think it will be too much of a let down for something that I don’t put my heart and soul into as much as my fellow bloggers do.

Not sure if this is going to be my last post. I’ll see how the rest of December goes.

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Mike & Molly–Christmas Break

2011-12-12T22:35:00.001-08:00

Summary: Mike and the Flynns are decorating the house for Christmas. Molly is excited while Mike is indifferent about the holiday. However, Molly’s plans to prepare for Christmas make Mike excited for future holidays. At school, Molly’s colleague Rebecca stops by Molly’s room at the end of the school day with some bad news: Molly might not get the vice principal job that she wants; Rebecca will. In the cafeteria, Peggy and the other cafeteria workers are celebrating Christmas break when Molly comes in to ask her for the truth about the job. Peggy confirms it and fails at assuring Molly that it’s for the best. At the diner, Mike and Carl are getting ready to don costumes to be Santa and his elf for underprivileged kids. Back at the school, Molly, Peggy, and the cafeteria ladies are wasted, Molly complaining about the fact that she worked hard but Rebecca got the job the easy way. Again, Peggy reminds Molly that life has its setbacks and she needs to move on. At the Flynn’s, Vince and Mike bring the tree home and are about the decorate it when Peggy brings a drunk Molly in. Molly stumbles around the room before heading upstairs. A couple days later, Mike tries to comfort Molly but she won’t have it. Instead, she wants to quit teaching. So Mike heads to the shelter to be Santa with Carl as the elf. While on a break, Mike worries about Molly but Carl assures him that things will work out. Back at the Flynn’s, Molly and Vince are watching the Charlie Brown movie. Molly is still in a bad mood. One of Molly’s former students, Matt, stops by to thank her for encouraging him to draw. He gives her the drawing that he drew after she caught him drawing on his desk. Molly accepts it, touched and surprised that Matt remembered her. Vince and the ladies are finishing the tree when Mike comes home, still in his Santa outfit. He’s surprised and happy that Molly is in a better mood. She confesses that she likes what she does and won’t quit teaching.

I, of course, was on Molly’s side with the whole vice principal job thing. I mean, shouldn’t dedication and hard work to the field be a primary reason to hire someone?
I love that one of Molly’s former students tracked her down to thank her. Not sure I’ve ever had a teacher impact me like that but even if one did, I’m not sure I’d have the courage to go find her/him to say “thanks.” I’m too scared that the teacher will have the same reaction as Molly initially had: “Who are you again?”

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

CSI: Miami–Crowned

2011-12-11T23:15:00.001-08:00

Summary: A beauty pageant for kids is going on (think Toddlers & Tiaras). The next day, a pageant stagehand is looking for six-year old Melrose and her mom Suzanne for the next competition. He finds Melrose doing her own make-up and Suzanne dead on the floor with one of Melrose’s crowns stabbed in her eye. Looking at the crown, ME Tom realizes that most likely one of the other pageant moms was the killer. Horatio reports that it’s unsure whether or not Melrose witnessed the murder. Calleigh and Wolfe talk to the pageant director, Darla Chambers, who explains that moms spend a lot of money for the pageant and they need to be quick. Calleigh talks to Melrose and her dad and sister. At the scene, Wolfe and Delko process the scene. Delko finds a bead probably from a dress but Wolfe doesn’t find a dress to match. At the police station, Walter finds hair with no follicle so he asks Sam for an analysis/drug test to find the owner. She finds traces of a prescription acne medication, which Melrose’s sister Jan uses. Jan explains that her hair is used to make wigs for Melrose and that she used to be in pageants but didn’t like them. Jan suggests that the team look at the other moms, specifically Alicia Haverford. Delko and Natalia find her bleaching her daughter Tori’s teeth with bleach that’s not age-appropriate for her. They confront Alicia about leaving her hotel room. Alicia admits that she confronted Suzanne about tearing Tori’s dress but she didn’t do anything. Back at the lab, Calleigh has to talk to a doctor but Melrose doesn’t want her to leave. Calleigh assures her then talks to the doctor, who assesses that Melrose knows more than she understands. So the doctor talks to her about what happened to Suzanne. Melrose explains that she saw her mom fall down then she got scared and ran into the bathroom. She says that her dad Larry hurt Suzanne. Horatio and Frank confront him about the high price of pageants and how this must not be pleasing for him. He admits that he and Suzanne argued about the cost of pageants but all he did was raise his voice. Wolfe and Calleigh look at the footage from the pageant and notice that Melrose was being stalked by the killer. They also notice that Tory was being stalked and head to the hotel. When Delko gets there, Tory’s missing. Calleigh talks to Darla about the tapes. She gets Darla’s phone and finds videos that prove that Darla and her husband Edwin are the stalkers. A team heads to the Chambers’ house and finds nothing. However, Delko finds an extension to the backyard that leads them to an outdoor jail cell tent for a little girl. Natalia finds Tori’s barrette in the ground but not sign of Tori herself. Alicia shows up, frantic. She gives Natalia a picture of Tori and blames herself because of the pageants. Natalia assures her that they will find Tori. Going through the house, Natalia finds a stack of pictures of pageant girls while Delko finds a box with Jan’s fingerprints on it. Jan denies being there but Calleigh points out that the print was smaller. Despite Delko and Calleigh’s persistence, Jan denies having been at the Chambers’ house. In another interrogation room, Darla claims that she was also a victim of her husband. H tries to get her to give up where Edwin is but she refuses. While looking over evidence and pictures, Sam, Walter, and Wolfe find evidence of tanning spray on Suzanne. They confirm with Tom and Calleigh that Suzanne and Melrose both have bronzer, meaning Suzanne was spraying Melrose when she died. Calleigh asks Melrose about it but Melrose claims it was an accident, meaning case closed. H tries talking to Jan about what happened to her when she was little to help find Tori. So the doctor talks to Jan and she remembers being lost and seeing a flickering light in a cold house. The man who was with her had fuzzy white gloves and a big pet mouse but she couldn’t really see where the mouse was. H and Natalia realize that Tori is at a movie theater. Wolfe and Walter narrow down the theaters and send a team out there. H and Natalia find Tori chained to a chair and Edwin asking her to be his friend. Edwin pulls a gun on Tori but runs off and ends up in a shootout with H. He runs off and trips over the balcony but H lets him fall and die. Natalia is able to release Tori from the chains and carries her out of the theater.

I kind of feel that my guilty pleasure, Toddlers & Tiaras, prepared me for this episode. Not the murder part (obviously) but the pageant part: the glitzy dresses, the flippers, the bleached teeth, the competitiveness of the moms more than the girls. All of it was familiar to me.
I was not expecting that ending to the murder part. Although I think I have seen a freak accident like that happen before on TV. It just wasn’t caused by a six year old who was trying to get out of mommy’s grasp and out of a beauty pageant.
I was a little disappointed with the way the episode ended in general. I mean, I know a happy reunion with Tori and Alicia was implied but it would’ve been a better final scene than Natalia carrying Tori out of the theater and H looking down at a dead Edwin Chambers.
I follow Eva LaRue, the actress who plays Natalia, on Twitter and back in October she mentioned how she had an idea for a Toddlers & Tiaras-like episode. I figured it would involve pageants and either a contestant or a mom being murdered. What I didn’t figure was the pedophile and kidnapping part, something I often see comments say that T&T is enabling and even encouraging. (Something I’m aware of but apply the “ignorance is bliss” concept to. I know I shouldn’t but I tend to when a topic makes my prudish and sheltered side uncomfortable.)

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!

Once Upon a Time–The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

2011-12-11T21:11:00.001-08:00

Summary: Graham is practicing darts at the diner when Emma walks through. He confronts her and insists on talking about what happened with him and Regina. She tries to brush him off but he’s persistent. He kisses her, but sees a forest through the eyes of a wolf that has one red eye and one black eye. Emma refuses to talk and rushes off. Graham goes to see Regina. In the middle of the night, Graham bolts awake, dreaming about being the Huntsman and seeing the wolf. Regina tries to assure him that it was just a dream but he’s convinced he’s seen the wolf before so he leaves. While getting his car, Graham sees the wolf again. The next morning, Emma sees a bouquet of flowers on the table and tosses them. Mary Margaret says that they’re hers from Dr. Whale. She tells Emma that it was a one-night stand but Emma points out that it must not have been. Mary Margaret accuses Emma of putting up a wall and warns her that she’s protecting herself too much. Having followed the wolf through the forest all night, Graham runs into Mr. Gold. However, Mr. Gold insists that he’s never seen a wolf around Storybrooke before. Graham explains that he saw the wolf in his dreams before reality and Mr. Gold mentions that dreams are just memories. Graham continues searching for the wolf and finally finds it but can’t figure out what it wants form him. As he pets the wolf, Graham sees himself about to kill Snow White in the same place. He goes to talk to Mary Margaret about it, trying to get her to remember when they met and how long they’ve known each other. He also asks her about lives in other worlds, but she passes it off as him talking to Henry. She notices that he’s getting sick so she suggests that he go home and sleep. At the Sheriff’s office, Regina confronts Emma about Graham, asking her to stay away from Graham because of the thoughts she’s put in his head. Graham, meanwhile, heads to Regina’s house to talk to Henry. He asks him if he is in Henry’s fairy tale book. He tells Henry about his dreams and the wolf and Henry explains that Graham must be the wolf. Graham pages through the book and sees a symbol that he saw in his dreams. Henry explains that the symbol is on the Queen’s vault where she keeps his heart, which Graham realizes is what the wolf wants him to find. So graham heads to the forest and sees Emma. He explains that he needs to find his heart. She tells him he has one but he’s convinced that the beating in his chest is the curse. They see the wolf and follow it. The wolf leads them to the vault. They enter cautiously. They find the place where it might be. Graham tries to open the door but Emma assures him that there must be a way. Regina shows up and asks them to leave but Graham refuses to leave. He dumps Regina. She blames Emma but Emma points out that she’s not to blame; Regina is. The two get into a fight but Emma ends it and walks off. Graham follows her. At the Sheriff’s office, Graham apologizes and patches up Emma. Back at the vault, Regina enters the room and accesses the basement where the drawers that keeps the hearts is. She finds the drawer where Graham/the Huntsman’s heart is and pulls the heart out. At the Sheriff’s office, Graham and Emma kiss but Graham sees many images from Fairy Tale World. He pulls away and is about to tell Emma and kiss her again when Regina squeezes the heart and kills Graham.

Meanwhile in Fairy Tale World…

The Evil Queen and Snow White are mourning Snow’s dad. The Queen comforts Snow. However, the Magic Mirror congratulates the Queen on getting rid of Snow. The Queen admits that Snow did something to her and she plans on getting rid of Snow as well. The Mirror tells her that she needs a huntsman to kill Snow. In the forest, the Huntsman kills a deer. A wolf with one red eye and one black eye approaches and growls at him, but the Huntsman assures him that he’ll get to eat. The Huntsman brings the wolf to a bar and is berated by other customers. He defends the wolves, saying they are pure of heart, which leads to a fight. The Queen sees this and asks her knights to bring the Huntsman to her. She asks him to kill someone but he refuses to kill for anyone but him. The Queen explains that the person she wants dead is beloved by all and she wants the person’s heart. The Huntsman says that in return, he wants the wolves (the things that raised him) to be protected. Later, he and Snow are walking through the forest, with Snow doing most of the talking. She calls him out on not being one of her father’s men and instead having been chosen by the Queen to kill her. She knocks him down and runs off. He finds her, writing a letter to the Queen. She asks him to give the letter to the Queen after he kills her. He reads it first then draws his sword. Instead, he cuts a branch and carves it into a whistle. He gives it to Snow and tells her to run. Then, he sees a deer. The Huntsman returns to the castle to give the heart and letter to the Queen. At the Queen’s request, he reads the letter, which is an apology for ruining the Queen’s life. The Queen throws the letter in the fire and admits that Snow didn’t keep a secret that the Queen shared, which cost the Queen everything. Finally, the Queen grabs the heart from the Huntsman and enters the vault. She holds the heart up to a door but it doesn’t open like it should. Angry, she asks the Huntsman why he brought a non-human heart. He says that Snow didn’t deserve to die so the Queen grabs his heart and takes control of him, saying that if he ever disobeys her, she’ll kill him. She puts the heart in a drawer in the vault.

As soon as I saw the promo for tonight’s episode, I knew that Graham was the Huntsman in Fairy Tale World. This was one of my picks for who he was. Fans online also thought so. Other possibilities where the Big Bad Wolf (we do, after all, know Red Riding Hood) and Robin Hood.
One of the downsides of Twitter (other than how time-consuming it is for me and how I’m anal about viewing/scanning past every single tweet) is that I see spoilers. One such spoiler was that Graham was the much-talked about death (courtesy of Jennifer Morrison, the actress who plays Emma and was live-tweeting). This is also the disadvantage of being on the West Coast, as spoilers are almost always revealed during the East Coast airing. I try to avoid the episode-reaction articles posted by the TV writers I follow but I can’t avoid the actual tweets. Anyway, after I knew that Graham was going to die, the question was: how does he die? I wasn’t expecting the method but I wasn’t disappointed (though I was disappointed that the hottie sheriff had to die. Another sign that life ain’t fair sometimes).

Until next time...

Write on, Country on!