Dwindling In Unbelief

How many has God killed? Complete list and estimated total (Including Apocryphal killings)

2013-05-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and mine sword shall devour flesh. -- Deuteronomy 32:39-42

The table shows two numbers: the number given by the Bible, if any, and an estimate, when no biblical number is available.

Total number killed by God in the Bible
- Using biblical numbers only: 2,821,364
- With estimates: 25 million

(The table has been updated to include God's killings in the Apocrypha/Deuterocanonical books. I'll be adding the missing Apocryphal stories in the next few days.)

Killing Event		Reference	Bible's Number	Estimate
1	The Flood of Noah	Gen 7:23		20,000,000
2	Abraham's war to rescue Lot	Gen 14:17-19		1,000
3	Sodom and Gomorrah	Gen 19:24		2,000
4	Lot's wife	Gen 19:26	1	1
5	While they were sore, Dinah's brethren slew all the males	Gen 34:1-31, Judith 9:2-3	2	1,000
6	Er for being wicked in the sight of the Lord	Gen 38:7	1	1
7	Onan for spilling his seed	Gen 38:10	1	1
8	A seven year worldwide famine	Gen 41:25-54		70,000
9	There will be blood: The first plague of Egypt	Ex 7:15-27 , Wis 11:7-8		10,000
10	The seventh plague: hail	Ex 9:25		300,000
11	Firstborn Egyptian children	Ex 12:29-30		500,000
12	The Lord took off their chariot wheels	Ex 14:8-26	600	5,000
13	Amalekites	Ex 17:13		1,000
14	Who is on the Lord's side?: Forcing friends and family to kill each other	Ex 32:27-28	3,000	3,000
15	Aaron's golden calf	Ex 32:35		1,000
16	God burns Aaron's sons to death for offering "strange fire"	Lev 10:1-3	2	2
17	A blasphemer is stoned to death	Lev 24:10-23	1	1
18	When the people complained, God burned them to death	Num 11:1		100
19	While the flesh was still between their teeth, the Lord smote them will a very great plague	Num 11:33		10,000
20	Ten scouts are killed for their honest report	Num 14:35-45	10	110
21	A man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day is stoned to death	Num 15:32-35	1	1
22	Korah, his companions, and their families are buried alive	Num 16:27	3	9
23	God burns 250 people to death for burning incense	Num 16:35	250	250
24	God kills 14,700 for complaining about God's killings	Num 16:49	14,700	14,700
25	The massacre of the Aradies	Num 21:1-2		3,000
26	God sent serpents to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water	Num 21:6		100
27	Phineas's double murder: A killing to end God's killing	Num 25:1-11	24,002	24,002
28	The Midianite massacre: Have ye saved all the women alive?	Num 31:1-35	6	200,000
29	God slowly killed the Israelite army	Dt 2:14-16		500,000
30	God the giant killer	Dt 2:21-22		5,000
31	God hardens King Sihon's heart so all his people can be killed	Dt 2:33-34	1	5,000
32	Og and all the men women, and children in 60 cities	Dt 3:6	1	60,000
33	The Jericho massacre	Jos 6:21		1,000
34	Achan and his family	Jos 7:10-26	1	5
35	The Ai massacre	Jos 8:1-25	12,000	12,000
36	God stops the sun so Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight	Jos 10:10-11		5,000
37	Five kings killed and hung on trees	Jos 10:26	5	10,000
38	Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord commanded	Jos 10:28-42	7	7,000
39	The genocide of twenty cities: There was not any left to breathe	Jos 11:8-12	2	20,000
40	The Anakim: some more giant killing	Jos 11:20-21		5,000
41	The Lord delivered the Canaanites and Perizzites	Jg 1:4	10,000	10,000
42	The Jerusalem massacre	Jg 1:8		1,000
43	Five massacres, a wedding, and God-proof iron chariots	Jg 1:9-25		5,000
44	The Lord delivered Chushanrishathaim	Jg 3:7-10	1	1,000
45	Ehud delivers a message from God	Jg 3:15-22	1	1
46	God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites	Jg 3:28-29	10,000	10,000
47	Shamgar killed 60 Philistines with an ox goad	Jg 3:31	600	600
48	Barak and God massacre the Canaanites	Jg 4:15-16		1,000
49	Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull	Jg 4:18-22	1	1
50	Gideon's story: The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow	Jg 7:22	120,000	120,000
51	A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit	Jg 9:23-27	1,001	2,000
52	The Ammonite massacre	Jg 11:32-33		20,000
53	Jephthah's daughter	Jg 11:39	1	1
54	42,000 die for failing the "shibboleth" test	Jg 12:4-7	42,000	42,000
55	Samson murdered 30 men for their clothes	Jg 14:19	30	30
56	Samson killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass	Jg 15:14-15	1,000	1,000
57	Samson killed 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack	Jg 16:27-30	3,000	3,000
58	A holy civil war (it had something to do with rotting concubine body part messages)	Jg 20:35-37	65,100	65,100
59	The end of Judges: two genocides and 200 stolen virgins	Jg 21:10-14		4,000
60	God killed Eli's sons and 34,000 Israelite soldiers	1 Sam 2:25, 4:11	34,002	34,002
61	God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts	1 Sam 5:1-12		3,000
62	50,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord	1 Sam 6:19	50,070	50,070
63	The Lord thundered a great thunder upon the Philistines	1 Sam 7:10-11		1,000
64	Another Ammonite massacre (and another God-inspired body part message)	1 Sam 11:6-13		1,000
65	Jonathan's first slaughter	1 Sam 14:12-14	20	20
66	God forces the Philistines to kill each other	1 Sam 14:20		1,000
67	The Amalekite genocide	1 Sam 15:2-3		10,000
68	Samuel hacks Agag to death before the Lord	1 Sam 15:32-33	1	1
69	In the valley of Elah: Goliath	1 Sam 17:51, 2 Sam 21:19	1	1
70	David buys a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins	1 Sam 18:27	200	200
71	The Lord said to David, Go and smite the Philistines	1 Sam 23:2-5		10,000
72	God killed Nabal (and David got his wife and other stuff)	1 Sam 25:38	1	1
73	David commits random acts of genocide for the Philistines	1 Sam 27:8-11		60,000
74	David spends the day killing Amalekites	1 Sam 30:17		1,000
75	God kills Saul, his sons, and his soldiers (because Saul didn't kill all the Amalekites)	1 Sam 31:2, 2 Chr 10:6	4	100
76	David kills the messenger	2 Sam 1:15	1	1
77	David killed, mutilated, and hung Rechab and Baanah	2 Sam 4:12	2	2
78	God helps David smite the Philistines from the front and the rear	2 Sam 5:19-25		2,000
79	God killed Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling	2 Sam 6:6-7, 1 Chr 13:9-10	1	1
80	David killed two-thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest	2 Sam 8:2		667
81	And the Lord gave David victory wherever he went	2 Sam 8 - 10	65,850	66,850
82	David killed every male in Edom	2 Sam 8:13-14, 1 Kg 11:15-16, 1 Chr 18:12, Ps 60:1	15,000	25,000
83	Thus did David do to all the children of Ammon	2 Sam 11:1, 1 Chr 20:1		1,000
84	God slowly kills a baby	2 Sam 12:14-18	1	1
85	Seven sons of Saul are hung up before the Lord	2 Sam 21:1-9	7	3,000
86	David's mighty men and their amazing killings	2 Sam 23, 1 Chr 11	1,403	3,400
87	God killed 70,000 because of David had a census that God (or Satan) told him to do	2 Sam 24:15, 1 Chr 21:14	70,000	200,000
88	Solomon murdered Job and Shimei (per David's deathbed wish)	1 Kg 2:29-46	2	2
89	A tale of two prophets	1 Kg 13:11-24	1	1
90	Jeroboam's son: God kills another child	1 Kg 14:17	1	1
91	Jeroboam's family	1 Kg 15:29		10
92	Baasha's family and friends	1 Kg 16:11-12		20
93	Zimri burns to death	1 Kg 16:18-19	1	1
94	The drought of Elijah	1 Kg 17:1, Luke 4:25, James 5:17-18		3,000
95	Elijah kills 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest	1 Kg 18:22-40	450	450
96	The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians	1 Kg 20:20-21		10,000
97	God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a god of the hills	1 Kg 20:28-29	100,000	100,000
98	God killed 27,000 Syrians by making a wall fall on them	1 Kg 20:30	27,000	27,000
99	God sent a lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet	1 Kg 20:35-36	1	1
100	God killed Ahab for not killing a captured king	1 Kg 20:42, 22:35	1	1
101	God burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill	2 Kg 1:10-12	102	102
102	God killed Ahaziah for asking the wrong God	2 Kg 1:16-17, 2 Chr 22:7-9	1	1
103	God sent bears to kill 42 boys for making fun of a prophet's bald head	2 Kg 2:23-24	42	42
104	The Lord delivered the Moabites	2 Kg 3:18-25		5,000
105	A skeptic is trampled to death	2 Kg 7:2-20	1	1
106	God's seven year famine	2 Kg 8:1		7,000
107	Jehoram of Israel	2 Kg 9:24	1	1
108	Jezebel	2 Kg 9:33-37	1	1
109	Ahab's sons: 70 heads in two baskets	2 Kg 10:6-10	70	70
110	Ahab's hometown family, friends, and priests	2 Kg 10:11		20
111	Jehu killed Ahaziah's family	2 Kg 10:12-13, 2 Chr 22:7-9	42	42
112	Jehu and his partner kill the rest of Ahab's family	2 Kg 10:17		20
113	Jehu assembled the followers of Baal and then slaughtered them all	2 Kg 10:18-25		1,000
114	Mattan the priest of Baal and Queen Athaliah	2 Kg 11:17-20	2	2
115	God sent lions to eat those who didn't fear him enough	2 Kg 17:25-26		10
116	An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers	2 Kg 19:34, 37:36	185,000	185,000
117	God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons	2 Kg 19:37, Tobit 1:21	1	1
118	Josiah killed all the priests of the high places	2 Kg 23:20		100
119	Just another holy war	1 Chr 5:18-22		50,000
120	God killed a half million Israelite soldiers	2 Chr 13:17-18	500,000	500,000
121	Jeroboam	2 Chr 13:20	1	1
122	God killed a million Ethiopians	2 Chr 14:9-14	1,000,000	1,000,000
123	Friendly fire: God forced "a great multitude" to kill each other	2 Chr 20:22-25		30,000
124	God made Jehoram's bowels fall out	2 Chr 21:14-19	1	1
125	God killed Jehoram's sons	2 Chr 22:1		3
126	Ahaziah of Judah	2 Chr 22:7-8	1	1
127	Joash, the princes, and army of Judah	2 Chr 24:20-25	1	10,000
128	God destroyed Amaziah	2 Chr 25:15-27	1	1,000
129	God smote Ahaz with the king of Syria	2 Chr 28:1-5	1	10,000
130	God killed 120,000 valiant men for forsaking him	2 Chr 28:6	120,000	120,000
131	The fall of Jerusalem	2 Chr 36:16-17		10,000
132	The Purim killings: God hath done these things	Esther 2 - 9, 10:4	75,813	75,813
133	God and Satan kill Job's children and slaves	Job 1:18-19	10	60
134	Hananiah	Jer 28:15-16	1	1
135	Ezekiel's wife	Ezek 24:15-18	1	1
136	Susanna	Dan 13:6-62	2	2
137	Judith is blessed above all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head)	Judith 13:6-10	1	1
138	The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls	Judith 15:1-6		1,000
139	Mathathias's double murder	1 Mac 2:24-25	2	2
140	Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners	1 Mac 2:44		100
141	God killed Andronicus, the sacrilegious wretch	2 Mac 4:38	1	1
142	A Jewish mob killed Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow	2 Mac 4:42	1	1
143	God helped Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked	1 Mac 3:1-26, 2 Mac 8:5-6	800	4,900
144	Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias's soldiers	1 Mac 3:44-4:24	3,000	3,000
145	The Hanukkah killings	1 Mac 4:34-5:7	5,000	17,000
146	The Machabees brothers slaughter the heathens	1 Mac 5:21-51	11,000	37,000
147	Nicanor's army: The Almighty being their helper, they slew above nine thousand men	1 Mac 7:32-47, 2 Mac 8:24, 15:27	147,002	147,002
148	Jonathan and Simon destroy the wicked out of Israel	1 Mac 9:46-49, 2 Mac 8:30-33, 10:61	1,000	1,200
149	Five heavenly horsemen cast darts and fireballs at the enemy	2 Mac 8:32-10:38	21,103	21,400
150	God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease	2 Mac 9:5-28	1	1
151	Idumeans, traitors, and Jews in two towers	2 Mac 10:16-17	40,000	40,100
152	Nicanor's head: A manifest sign of the help of God	1 Mac 7:33-48, 2 Mac 15:1-35	35,000	35,000
153	Aliens at Cades	1 Mac 11:74	3,000	3,000
154	John burns to death 2000 in the tower of Azotus	1 Mac 16:10	2,000	2,000
155	God sent wasps to slowly destroy people	Wisdom 11:7-8		1,000
156	Ananias and Sapphira	Acts 5:5-10	2	2
157	Herod Aggripa	Acts 12:23	1	1
158	Jesus	Rom 8:32, 1 Pet 18:	1	1
	Totals		2,821,364	24,994,828

Mosiah 20: Stolen Daughters

2013-05-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, A lot changed last chapter. Limhi is now king, but he is under the rule of the Lamanites, and has to pay them an enormous tribute (1/2 of all their possessions and earnings). Everything was going well for two years, without anyone getting molested or anything! (which is pretty good for the Book of Mormon.)

But I'll get on with the story.

The daughters of the Lamanites liked to gather and sing and dance in this secret place near Shemlon. One day, when there were only a few of them, the evil priests of King Noah kidnapped them and carried 24 of them into the wilderness. (I don't know how many priests there were, but this must have been quite the operation)

Now there was a place in Shemlon where the daughters of the Lamanites did gather themselves together to sing, and to dance, and to make themselves merry. 20:1

And it came to pass that there was one day a small number of them gathered together to sing and to dance. 20:2

And now the priests of king Noah ... came forth out of their secret places and took them and carried them into the wilderness; yea, twenty and four of the daughters of the Lamanites they carried into the wilderness 20:3-5

The Lamanites suspected that the people of Limhi stole their daughters, so their king prepared the army for a real Helen-of-Troy sort of situation. They sent their army, and they fought like lions.

And it came to pass that the battle became exceedingly sore, for they fought like lions for their prey. 20:10

But the people of Limhi fought like dragons. They were outnumbered 2-to-1, but everyone knows that a good dragon is worth at least 3-4 lions. (I'm guessing that the battle went something like this)

And it came to pass that the people of Limhi began to drive the Lamanites before them; yet they were not half so numerous as the Lamanites. But they fought for their lives, and for their wives, and for their children; therefore they exerted themselves and like dragons did they fight. 20:11

In the battle, the Lamanite king was badly wounded. Limhi's soldiers took him captive, and brought him before King Limhi.

And they took him and bound up his wounds, and brought him before Limhi, and said: Behold, here is the king of the Lamanites; he having received a wound has fallen among their dead, and they have left him; and behold, we have brought him before you; and now let us slay him. 20:13

Limhi doesn't kill him, and instead has a chat with him.

Limhi: Why are we fighting, anyways?
Lamanite King: You stole our daughters!
Limhi: Oh! Sorry about that. I'll find and kill whoever took them.
Lamanite King: Sounds good. Sorry about the war and everything.
Limhi: No problem. It had been a little while since our last war anyways.

But Limhi said unto them: Ye shall not slay him, but bring him hither that I may see him. And they brought him. And Limhi said unto him: What cause have ye to come up to war against my people? Behold, my people have not broken the oath that I made unto you; therefore, why should ye break the oath which ye made unto my people? 20:14

And now the king said: I have broken the oath because thy people did carry away the daughters of my people; therefore, in my anger I did cause my people to come up to war against thy people. 20:15

And now Limhi had heard nothing concerning this matter; therefore he said: I will search among my people and whosoever has done this thing shall perish. Therefore he caused a search to be made among his people. 20:16

But before the search began, Gideon convinced him out of it. He reminded Limhi of Noah's creepy priests, and he explained how they probably stole the Lamanite's daughters.

Now when Gideon had heard these things, he being the king's captain, he went forth and said unto the king: I pray thee forbear, and do not search this people, and lay not this thing to their charge. 20.17

For do ye not remember the priests of thy father, whom this people sought to destroy? And are they not in the wilderness? And are not they the ones who have stolen the daughters of the Lamanites? 20.18

So Limhi explained Gideon's theory to the Lamanite King.

And now Limhi told the king all the things concerning his father, and the priests that had fled into the wilderness, and attributed the carrying away of their daughters to them. 20.23

The Lamanite king and Limhi were shockingly diplomatic towards one another, considering they were at war. They make peace, and the chapter ends.

Hello! My name is Elder Wells

2013-05-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

My son, Philip, and I are getting ready (girding our loins, so to speak) for a new project. We don't know what to call it yet, but it's inspired by the Mormon missionaries and Jehovah's Witnesses.

We're going door to door with the Skeptic's Annotated Bible.

It'll be something like this:

Or this:

Just kidding.

We'll probably start off with something like this: "The Bible is an important book. You should know what is in it. We're here to help with that."

Most Bible believers believe in the Bible because they don't know what's in it. Most non-believers don't know what's in it either, that's why they're so easy for believers to convert. The cure in both cases is knowledge about the Bible. Those who know what is in the Bible are unlikely to believe in it.

So we're getting ready. Deciding whether to wear the white shirt and black tie of the Mormon missionaries or the more colorful attire of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Name tag or no name tag? Elder, Brother, or Infidel?. And what should we call ourselves?

Let us know if you have any ideas about this. Or if you'd like to join us. (We'll provide a free SAB book for you to use.)

It'll be lots of fun!

Mother's Day: A few good examples from the Bible

2013-05-11T09:39:00.001-07:00

Last year, I posted some Bible verses for Mother's Day.

I thought this year I'd try to find a few good examples from the Bible. Here's what I could find.
(Taken from my Good People in the Bible post.)

Hagar
At Sarah and God's insistence, Abraham sent Hagar and their son Ishmael into the desert. When Ishmael was about to die, Hagar left him under a bush and cried because she couldn't bear to see him die.

And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs. And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow shot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept. Genesis 21:15-16

Later, of course, an angel came to save Ishmael. (Angels always come to save Abraham's sons before he kills them or after he abandons them - as he was asked to do by God). She raised Ishmael by herself, becoming the patron saint of single moms.

Rizpah
To appease God and end a famine that was caused by his predecessor (Saul), David agrees to have two of Saul's sons and five of his grandsons killed and hung up "unto the Lord."

There was a famine in the days of David three years, year after year; and David enquired of the LORD. And the LORD answered, It is for Saul, and for his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites. ...
Wherefore David said unto the Gibeonites, What shall I do for you? and wherewith shall I make the atonement. ...
And they answered the king ... Let seven men of his sons be delivered unto us, and we will hang them up unto the LORD. 2 Samuel 21:1-6

So David rounded up and delivered two sons of Rizpah, Saul's concubine, and five sons of his daughter Michal, and they hung them up before the Lord.

The king took the two sons of Rizpah ... whom she bare unto Saul ... and the five sons of Michal ... And he delivered them into the hands of the Gibeonites, and they hanged them in the hill before the LORD: and they fell all seven together, and were put to death. 2 Samuel 21:8-9

Rizpah stayed with her dead sons, chasing the birds away in the daytime and animals away at night.

And Rizpah the daughter of Aiah took sackcloth, and spread it for her upon the rock, from the beginning of harvest until water dropped upon them out of heaven, and suffered neither the birds of the air to rest on them by day, nor the beasts of the field by night. 2 Samuel 21:10

And God stopped the famine after Saul's two sons and five grandsons were killed and hung up for him.

They gathered the bones of them that were hanged ... And after that God was intreated for the land 2 Samuel 21:13-14

Jeroboam's wife
Jeroboam's wife (the Bible doesn't bother giving her a name) was worried about her sick son. So she went to see the blind prophet Ahijah to see if he could help.

Jeroboam's wife ... arose, and went to Shiloh, and came to the house of Ahijah. 1 Kings 14:4

When she arrived, Ahijah had a message from God regarding her son.

Bhold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone. 1 Kings 14:10

Which wasn't particularly good news to Jeroboam's wife, since her sick son had pissed on a few walls here and there.
But it got worse as the prophet elaborated a bit.

Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the LORD hath spoken it. 1 Kings 14:11

So God was going to kill all of the male descendants of Jeroboam, strew their dead bodies on the ground like dung, and use them for dog and bird food.
Oh and her son? He would be dead by the time she got home.

Arise thou therefore, get thee to thine own house: and when thy feet enter into the city, the child shall die. 1 Kings 14:12

After hearing the words of God from his prophet Ahijah, Jeroboam's wife returned home. And, sure enough, God killed her sick little boy the moment she entered his room.

And Jeroboam's wife arose, and departed, and came to Tirzah: and when she came to the threshold of the door, the child died; 1 Kings 14:17

When should you kill a prophet?

2013-05-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door on Saturday, and, after listening to their chosen verse, I asked them to read Deuteronomy 13:6-10. The young man who read the passage had apparently never read it before, so he decided to read the previous verses in the chapter to get some context.

(Context is the believer's first line of defense when defending the indefensible in the Bible. It rarely works; context nearly always makes it worse.)

Here are the first five verses in Deuteronomy 13 from the Watchtower's New World Translation. (Does anyone know why the JW's use allcaps for "you" or "your" in this passage?)

In case a prophet or a dreamer of a dream arises in your midst and does give you a sign or a portent, and the sign or the portent does come true of which he spoke to you, saying, ‘Let us walk after other gods, whom you have not known, and let us serve them,’ you must not listen to the words of that prophet or to the dreamer of that dream, because Jehovah YOUR God is testing YOU to know whether YOU are loving Jehovah YOUR God with all YOUR heart and all YOUR soul. ... And that prophet or that dreamer of the dream should be put to death, because he has spoken of revolt against Jehovah YOUR God ... and you must clear out what is evil from your midst.

When he got to the part that said "and the sign or the portent does come true" I asked him to repeat it, since I expected the verse to say "and the sign or the portent does not come true." But no, he read the verse correctly. God commands us to kill prophets that correctly prophesy future events! He is testing us by sending true prophets from false religions. Or something like that.

Which seemed strange to me, strange even for the Bible.

So I checked to see what the Bible says about false prophets. It's covered a few chapters later in Deuteronomy.

However, the prophet who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded him to speak or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. And in case you should say in your heart: “How shall we know the word that Jehovah has not spoken?” when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him. Deuteronomy 18:20-22 (NWT)

Which means you must kill prophets that falsely predict future events. (Like the Jehovah's Witnesses)

So to sum up.

God commands us to kill prophets who either correctly predict the future in the name of a false god or who incorrectly predict the future in the name of a true god.

I guess we can let live false prophets of false gods and true prophets of true gods. Unless someone knows of a scripture that says otherwise, that is.

This prophet-killing business can get so confusing sometimes. How do believers keep it all straight?

So the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door this morning...

2013-05-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

They started by saying they'd like to share a few verses from the Bible with me.

I said, "Sure, go ahead."

So one of them started reading this passage:

Beloved ones, let us continue loving one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born from God and gains the knowledge of God. He that does not love has not come to know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8, NWT)

I listened politely and then I asked, "Would you mind reading another passage for me?"

He said, "Sure, which one?"

"Deuteronomy 13, verses 6 through 10."

So he read it in his New World Translation.

In case your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or your cherished wife or your companion who is like your own soul, should try to allure you in secrecy, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ whom you have not known, neither you nor your forefathers, some of the gods of the peoples who are all around you, the ones near you or those far away from you, from one end of the land to the other end of the land, you must not accede to his wish or listen to him, nor should your eye feel sorry for him, nor must you feel compassion, nor cover him [protectively]; but you should kill him without fail. Your hand first of all should come upon him to put him to death, and the hand of all the people afterward. And you must stone him with stones, and he must die.

I asked him to explain how a God of love could have inspired that passage. Would a God of love command a man to stone to death his brother, son, daughter, wife, or friend for suggesting that he should worship another god?

He said he'd never thought about it before, but he'd get back to me.

I'll let you know if he does.

Sold Out---but more on the way!

2013-05-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who ordered a hardcover Skeptic's Annotated Bible!

We just sold our last copy yesterday, and now are accepting Pre-orders for the next printing, which is due to arrive in early July.

A few typos have been corrected (Thanks to everyone who sent them in) and 16 blank pages for notes have been added to the back of the book. There are a few slight improvements in the book, but mainly we were in a hurry to get it to press.

And they fell on their faces

2013-04-27T16:44:00.002-07:00

A recent tweet by StaticDespair was titled "The people in Bible times were too dramatic" and had a link to this image:

And it got me to thinking.

People in the Bible do some strange things when they get upset They fall on their faces, tear their clothes, put sackcloth on their loins, and rub dirt on their heads. Stuff like that.

So I wondered, how many times, and under what circumstances, did people in the Bible do these things.

Here is my attempt to summarize it for you.

They fell on their faces.

When Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram ... and Abram fell on his face. Genesis 17:1-3
Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?. Genesis 17:17
And there came a fire out from before the LORD ... and ... when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces. Leviticus 9:24
Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces. Numbers 14:5
And when Moses heard it, he fell upon his face. Numbers 16:4
And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying, Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment. And they fell upon their faces. Numbers 16:20-22
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces. Numbers 16:44-45
And they fell upon their faces: and the glory of the LORD appeared unto them. Numbers 20:6
Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he ... fell flat on his face. Numbers 22:31
Joshua ... lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand ... And Joshua fell on his face. Joshua 5:14
And Joshua ... fell to the earth upon his face before the ark of the LORD until the eventide. Joshua 7:6
The angel of the LORD ascended in the flame of the altar. And Manoah and his wife looked on it, and fell on their faces. Judges 13:20
Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes? Ruth 2:10
David ... fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. 1 Samuel 20:41
Mephibosheth ... fell on his face. 2 Samuel 9:6
The woman of Tekoah ... fell on her face. 2 Samuel 14:4
Joab fell to the ground on his face. 2 Samuel 14:22
Ahimaaz ... fell ... upon his face. 2 Samuel 18:28
As Obadiah was in the way, behold, Elijah met him: and he knew him, and fell on his face, and said, Art thou that my lord Elijah? 1 Kings 18:7
And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces. 1 Kings 18:39
David lifted up his eyes, and saw the angel of the LORD stand between the earth and the heaven, having a drawn sword in his hand stretched out over Jerusalem.Then David and the elders of Israel, who were clothed in sackcloth, fell upon their faces. 1 Chronicles 21:16
I saw ... the appearance of his loins ...This was ... the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 1:27-28
Behold, the glory of the Lord stood there ... and I fell on my face. Ezekiel 3:23
While they were slaying them ... I fell on my face. Ezekiel 9:8
And it came to pass, when I prophesied, that Pelatiah the son of Benaiah died. Then fell I down upon my face. Ezekiel 11:13
And, behold, the glory of the God of Israel came ... and his voice was like a noise of many waters ... and I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 43:2-3
Behold, the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD: and I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 44:4
King Nebuchadnezzar fell upon his face, and worshiped Daniel. Daniel 2:46
I was afraid, and fell upon my face. Daniel 8:17
And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their face. Matthew 17:6
And he went a little farther, and fell on his face. Matthew 26:39
A man full of leprosy... fell on his face. Luke 5:12
And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. Luke 17:15-16
All the angels ... and the four beasts ... fell before the throne on their faces. Revelation 7:11
The four and twenty elders ... fell upon their faces. Revelation 11:16

They rent their clothes.

Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes. Genesis 37:29
And Jacob rent his clothes Genesis 37:34
They speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack ... and the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. Then they rent their clothes. Genesis 44:12-13
And Joshua ... and Caleb ... rent their clothes. Numbers 14:6
Jephthah came to ... his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances ... And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes. Judges 11:34-35
Samuel ... laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent. 1 Samuel 15:27-28
Then David took hold on his clothes, and rent them; and likewise all the men that were with him. 2 Samuel 1:11
David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes. 2 Samuel 3:31
And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. 2 Samuel 13:19
Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent. 2 Samuel 13:31
Ahijah caught the new garment that was on him, and rent it in twelve pieces ... for thus saith the LORD, the God of Israel, Behold, I will rend the kingdom out of the hand of Solomon. 1 Kings 11:30-31
When Ahab heard those words, that he rent his clothes. 1 Kings 21:27
And Elisha saw it, and he cried, My father, my father ... and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces. 2 Kings 2:12
When the king of Israel had read the letter ... he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 5:7
When Elisha the man of God had heard that the king of Israel had rent his clothes, that he sent to the king, saying, Wherefore hast thou rent thy clothes? 2 Kings 5:8
So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him. And it came to pass, when the king heard the words of the woman ... he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 6:30
When king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 19:1
When the king had heard the words of the book of the law, that he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 22:11
Because ... thou ... hast rent thy clothes ... I also have heard thee, saith the LORD. 2 Kings 22:19
Then Athaliah rent her clothes, and said, Treason, Treason. 2 Chronicles 23:13
Because thine heart was tender ... didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD. 2 Chronicles 34:27

Mordecai rent his clothes ... and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry. Esther 4:1
When they lifted up their eyes afar off ... they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle. Job 2:12
When king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes ... and went into the house of the LORD. Isaiah 37:1
There came certain from Shechem, from Shiloh, and from Samaria, even fourscore men, having their beards shaven, and their clothes rent, and having cut themselves, with offerings and incense in their hand, to bring them to the house of the LORD. Jeremiah 41:5
Then the high priest rent his clothes. Matthew 26:65, Mark 14:63
Therefore also now, saith the Lord ... ren your heart, and not your garments. Joel 2:12-13

When the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of, they rent their clothes, and ran in among the people, crying out, and saying, Sirs, why do ye these things? Acts 14:4
The magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat them. Acts 16:22

They put sackcloth on their loins

Jacob ... put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. Genesis 37:34
David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him ... gird you with sackcloth. 2 Samuel 3:31
And his servants said unto him ... let us, I pray thee, put sackcloth on our loins, and ropes upon our heads ... So they girded sackcloth on their loins, and put ropes on their heads. 1 Kings 20:31-32
When Ahab heard those words, that he rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his flesh, and fasted, and lay in sackcloth, and went softly. 1 Kings 21:27
When the king heard the words of the woman ... he passed by upon the wall, and the people looked, and, behold, he had sackcloth within upon his flesh. 2 Kings 6:30
When king Hezekiah heard it, he ... covered himself with sackcloth, and went into the house of the LORD. 2 Kings 19:1
David and the elders of Israel ... were clothed in sackcloth. 1 Chronicles 21:16
Mordecai ... put on sackcloth with ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry. Esther 4:1
There was great mourning among the Jews, and fasting, and weeping, and wailing; and many lay in sackcloth and ashes. Esther 4:3
I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin, and defiled my horn in the dust. Job 16:15
I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them. Psalm 69:11
And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth. Isaiah 3:24
On all their heads shall be baldness, and every beard cut off ... they shall gird themselves with sackcloth ... every one shall howl, weeping abundantly. Isaiah 15:2-3
At the same time spake the LORD ... saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins ... and he did so, walking naked. Isaiah 20:2
In that day did the Lord GOD of hosts call ... to girding with sackcloth. Isaiah 22:12
Tremble, ye women that are at ease; be troubled, ye careless ones: strip you, and make you bare, and gird sackcloth upon your loins. Isaiah 32: 11
When king Hezekiah heard it ... he ... covered himself with sackcloth, and went into the house of the LORD. Isaiah 37:1
Gird you with sackcloth, lament and howl: for the fierce anger of the LORD is not turned back from us. Jeremiah 4:8
Gird thee with sackcloth, and wallow thyself in ashes. Jeremiah 6:26
Every head shall be bald, and every beard clipped: upon all the hands shall be cuttings, and upon the loins sackcloth. Jeremiah 48:37
Gird you with sackcloth; lament, and run to and fro by the hedges. Jeremiah 49:3
The elders of the daughter of Zion sit upon the ground, and ... have girded themselves with sackcloth. Lamentation 2:10
They shall also gird themselves with sackcloth, and horror shall cover them; and shame shall be upon all faces, and baldness upon all their heads. Ezekiel 7:18
And they shall make themselves utterly bald for thee, and gird them with sackcloth, and they shall weep for thee with bitterness of heart and bitter wailing. Ezekiel 27:31
I set my face unto the Lord God ... with ... sackcloth, and ashes. Daniel 9:3
Lament like a virgin girded with sackcloth for the husband of her youth. Joel 1:8
Gird yourselves, and ... howl ... lie all night in sackcloth. Joel 1:13
I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day. Amos 8:10
So the people of Nineveh believed God ... and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. Jonah 3:5
The king of Nineveh ... laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. Jonah 3:6
Let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God. Jonah 3:8
Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. Matthew 11:4, Luke 10:13
I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in sackcloth..Revelation 11:3

And they put dust on their heads.

Joshua ... and the elders of Israel ... put dust upon their heads. Joshua 7:6
And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. 2 Samuel 13:19

When they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept and ... sprinkled dust upon their heads. Job 2:12
The elders of the daughter of Zion sit upon the ground, and have cast up dust upon their heads. Lamentations 2:10
The mariners ... shall cast up dust upon their heads. Ezekiel 27:29-30
Roll thyself in the dust ... having thy shame naked. Micah 1:10-11
They cried out, and cast off their clothes, and threw dust into the air. Acts 22:22

Let me know if I left anything out.

Bill Maher: I am not an Islamophobe, I am a truth lover.

2013-04-22T10:17:00.002-07:00

Here's an excerpt.

Levin: It's not like it's people who are Muslim who do wacky things have a monopoly on it. We have hypocrites across faiths...

Maher: You know what, that is liberal bullshit right there.

Levin: There are no religious hypocrites? You made a career on that.

Maher: They're not as dangerous. There's only one only one faith, for example, that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you draw a bad cartoon of the prophet. There's only on faith that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you renounce the faith. An ex-Muslim is a very dangerous thing. Talk to Salman Rushdie after the show about Christian versus Islam.

Levin: I have a girl for you, Pam Geller, you can maybe meet.

Maher: I don't know what that means.

Levin: Well, she's an Islamophobe.

Maher: I'm not an Islamophobe, That's wrong. I am a truth lover. All religions are not alike.

Bill Maher is right: It's time to drop the liberal bullshit.

All religions are not the same. Let's stop pretending like they are.

That they all may be one: John 17 and the futility of prayer

2013-04-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

Jesus didn't pray much in the gospels, but in John 17, he really got carried away.

He goes on and on for 24 verses, asking his father to glorify him with the same glory that he had back before the universe was created.

These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son ... And now, O Father, glorify thou me ... with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. John 17:1-5

It's pretty boring stuff, until he says this:

Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. John 17:20-23

From which we can conclude two things:

Nothing fails like prayer (even when Jesus does the praying), and
God didn't send Jesus.

The First Plague of Egypt: God forced the Egyptians to drink human blood

2013-04-07T19:17:00.001-07:00

Okay, I could use some help with this one.

Remember the first of the famous ten plagues of Egypt? The plague of blood?

Well, I didn’t include it in God's killings since the text in Exodus didn't say that anyone died. But now I'm not so sure.

Here’s the story from Exodus 7.

God told Moses to tell Aaron to smite all the water in Egypt with his rod (the one that he previously turned into a serpent and then back into a rod in Exodus 7:9-12), which will change the water into blood.

And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Take thy rod, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of Egypt, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of water, that they may become blood; and that there may be blood throughout all the land of Egypt; both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone. v.19

And Moses and Aaron did so, as the LORD commanded. v.20

And it worked as planned. The fish died, the river stank, and the Egyptians had no water to drink.

And the fish that was in the river died; and the river stank, and the Egyptians could not drink of the water of the river; and there was blood throughout all the land of Egypt. v.21

For seven days, apparently.

And seven days were fulfilled, after that the LORD had smitten the river. v.25

Which must have killed some people, since, even under the most favorable conditions, a person can’t survive for more than a few days without water.

And then there's this from the book of Wisdom.

Instead of a fountain of an ever running river, thou gavest human blood to the unjust ... shewing ... how thou ... didst kill their adversaries. Wisdom 11:7-9

Although it isn't entirely clear to me, this passage seems to refer to the first plague of Egypt.

Here's the helpful note from the Douay-Reims Bible.

God ... wrought a miracle to punish the Egyptians by thirst, when he turned all their waters into blood, (at which time the Israelites, who were exempt from those plagues, had plenty of water,) wrought another miracle in favour of his own people in their thirst, by giving them water out of the rock.

So the first plague involved human blood!

Where did God get so much blood? Enough blood to fill the Nile River?

Did God kill people just to use their blood in the first plague? Or did he create the human blood from scratch?

And since at least some of the Egyptians refused to drink the human blood that God provided, some of them must have died of thirst.
In any case, in one way or another, some Egyptians died in the first plague. But how many?

Let me know if you have any suggestions for arriving at an estimate.

Forget Easter: Celebrate Jesus-in-Hell Day instead!

2013-03-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

The Harrowing of Hell

Now that Jesus is dead (they killed him in the Philippines earlier today), we can celebrate what happened after he died.

Happy Jesus-in-Hell Day!

Most Christians (well, Protestants, anyway) don't know this, but Jesus went directly to hell after he died.

Really, he did. It says so in the Bible.

He [David] seeing this before spake of the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in hell, neither his flesh did see corruption. Acts 2:31

The above quote is from the speech that Peter gave on the day of Pentecost -- you know, the day that believers spoke in languages they didn't understand and acted like they were drunk.

So it must be true. (If you can't trust a drunken Pentecostal preacher who was also the first pope, whom can you trust?)

There are a couple of other references to Jesus's day in hell by someone who claimed to be Peter, but wasn't. Here's what the forger of 1 Peter said about it.

Christ ... went and preached unto the spirits in prison. 1 Peter 3:19

For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead. 1 Peter 4:6

So Jesus preached the gospel to the dead people "in prison" -- that is, to the people in hell.

And then there's this from Ephesians (another forgery, this time attributed to Paul).

Christ ... descended first into the lower parts of the earth. He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things. Ephesians 4:7-9

So Jesus descended "into the lower parts of the earth" -- which, as we all know, is where hell is.

Of course, Catholics know all this. They are reminded every time they attend mass or say the rosary, because it's right there in The Apostles' Creed.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell....

So get out and celebrate Jesus's descent into hell.

Here are some pictures that Jesus took during his visit to inspire you.

The first is a black and white photo of a very tall Jesus meeting Adam and Eve as they come out of their demon-mouth house.

Here's one, on Saturday night, after Jesus put on his transparent robe.

And here's Jesus in a hurry to meet the ladies of hell.

Here's Jesus delivering the sermon from hell.

And here he is Sunday morning before heading back to the tomb.

So to hell with Easter. Celebrate Jesus-in-Hell Day instead.

Who is the most blessed woman (according to the Bible)?

2013-03-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

Since tomorrow (March 25) is The Feast of the Annunciation of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary, I thought I'd ask this question: Who is the most blessed woman according to the Bible?

To Catholics, of course, there is only one answer: Mary

Henry Ossawa Tanner - The Annunciation

And there's good biblical justification for their belief, from the annunciation story in the Gospel of Luke.

You remember this story, right? The one where the angel Gabriel stopped by Nazareth to visit the Most Blessed Virgin Mary and say the rosary with her?

OK, not really. He stopped by to tell her that the Holy Ghost would soon be getting her pregnant the way he did her cousin Elizabeth. But during his visit he did manage to come up with the first half of the "Hail Mary."

The angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Luke 1:26-28

So Mary, then, according to the angel Gabriel and the Gospel of Luke, is "blessed among women."

But is she the most blessed of all women? Are there any other women in the Bible that can compete with her blessedness?

How about Jael, for example?

Gregorio Lazzarini: Jael and Sisera

In Judges 4, Jael offers food and shelter to a traveler (Sisera), saying "turn in my Lord ... fear not." Then after giving him a glass of milk and tucking him in, she drives a tent stake through his head.

For murdering her guest while he slept, Jael is called "blessed above women." (Hail Jael, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women....?)

Blessed above women shall Jael ... be, blessed shall she be above women ...
He asked water, and she gave him milk; she brought forth butter in a lordly dish.
She put her hand to the nail, and her right hand to the workmen's hammer; and with the hammer she smote Sisera, she smote off his head, when she had pierced and stricken through his temples ... there he fell down dead. Judges 5:

So surely Jael is in the running for the most blessed of all women.

Or how about Judith?

Caravaggio: Judith Beheading Holofernes

Judith's story is not found in Protestant Bibles. But it is in Catholic ones, which include the Deuterocanonical Book of Judith.

Here's the relevant story from chapter 13, where Judith, with God's approval and assistance, decapitated the drunken Holfernes while he slept.

They were all overcharged with wine....
Holofernes lay on his bed, fast asleep, being exceedingly drunk...
Judith stood before the bed praying...
Saying: Strengthen me, O Lord ... that I may bring to pass ... that it might be done by thee...
When she had said this, she ... loosed his sword...
And ... she took him by the hair of his head, and said: Strengthen me, O Lord...
And she struck twice upon his neck, and cut off his head...
And ... she ... delivered the head of Holofernes to her maid, and bade her put it into her wallet. Judith 13:2-11

For cutting off the head of a drunken man as he slept, Judith is blessed by God "above all woman."

Blessed art thou, O daughter, by the Lord the most high God, above all women upon the earth.

The Lord ... directed thee to the cutting off the head ... Thy praise shall not depart out of the mouth of men ... for ever. Judith 13:23-25

So, I don't know for sure, of course, but I think Judith wins the prize. She is "blessed ... above all women upon the earth." Whereas Jael is "blessed above women" so I think she deserves the silver. And poor old Mary is only "blessed among women", so she gets the bronze.

Maybe Pope Francis should institute a new feast: The Feast of Judith, Blessed Above All Women and demote Mary to just one of the several blessed women.

2 Machabees 4:29-42: A Jewish mob kills Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow

2013-03-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

In the last apocryphal killing, God killed Andronicus (the sacrilegious wretch) for supporting the wrong candidate (Menelaus) for Jewish high priest.

The next high priest was Menelaus's brother, Lysimachus.

Menelaus was removed from the priesthood, Lysimachus his brother succeeding. 2 Machabees 4:29

There were rumors among the Jews that Lysimachus followed after his brother's sacrilegious ways.

Now when many sacrileges had been committed by Lysimachus in the temple by the counsel of Menelaus, and the rumour of it was spread abroad, the multitude gathered themselves together against Lysimachus, a great quantity of gold being already carried away. 4:39

So the mob killed Lysimachus by throwing stones, clubbing him to death, and (worst of all) throwing ashes upon him.

Wherefore the multitude making an insurrection, and their minds being filled with anger ... caught up stones, some strong clubs: and some threw ashes upon Lysimachus ... the sacrilegious fellow ... they slew. 4:40-42

And although the text doesn't say so explicitly, it's pretty clear that God inspired and approved of this killing (even if he didn't assist in it by throwing ashes himself).

Continuing the Apocryphal killings: God killed Andronichus (that sacrilegious wretch)

2013-03-10T14:46:00.001-07:00

Now that the SAB book is out and the pre-orders have been shipped, it's time to get back to the Apocryphal killings.

As you might recall, the last killing was Antiochus, whom, according to 1 and 2 Machabees, God killed in three different ways (with an incurable bowel disease, by smashing him with stones and dismembering him, and by scaring him to death). .

The next story is about a man named Andronicus.

Andronicus was an official of King Antiochus who got involved in a dispute between two rivals for the Jewish high priesthood. One claimant was Onias, God's favorite; the other was Menelaus, a cruel tyrant and savage beast, who stole gold out of the temple and gave it to Andronicus.

Menelaus ... having the mind of a cruel tyrant, and the rage of a savage beast ... having stolen certain vessels of gold out of the temple, gave them to Andronicus. 2 Machabees 4:23-32

Menelaus asked Andronicus to kill Onias.

Menelaus coming to Andronicus, desired him to kill Onias. 4:34a

Which he did.

And he [Andronicus] went to Onias ... and immediately slew him. 4:34b

When King Antiochus (who according to 1 Machabees 1:16 was already dead) heard about Onias's death, he was "moved to pity" and "shed tears, remembering the sobriety and modesty of the deceased."

Antiochus therefore was grieved in his mind for Onias, and being moved to pity, shed tears, remembering the sobriety and modesty of the deceased. 4.37

So God inspired Antiochus to kill Andronicus (the sacrilegious wretch) as his deserved punishment.

And being inflamed to anger, he [Antiochus] commanded Andronicus to be stripped of his purple, and to be led about through all the city: and that in the same place wherein he had committed the impiety against Onias, the sacrilegious wretch should be put to death, the Lord repaying him his deserved punishment. 4:38

Giving Ecclesiastes too much credit

2013-03-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

In previous posts I've said that Ecclesiastes is the best book (and pretty much the only good book) in the Bible. And I still think that's true.

But I may have given it too much credit. There's a lot of crazy stuff that I passed over when highlighting Ecclesiastes. (Once you decide that a biblical book is "good" it's easy to read it like a believer and ignore the bad stuff.)

Here, for example, are some verses that were previously unmarked in the SAB that Steve Weeks recently pointed out to me. (I've since added them to absurdity.)

The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh. 4:5

Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment. 9:8

A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left. 10:2

Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth. 11:2

So take another look at the Bible's best book and see what you find. Are there other verses that you think should be highlighted? If so, let me know in the comments.

Douglas Wilson's grammatical argument against gay marriage

2013-03-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

I've seen quite a few of Doug Wilson's previous debates (See, for example, Collision: Are Doug Wilson's beliefs good for the world? ) and he always seems to come out on top. But not this time.

The debate took place on February 27 at the University of Idaho in Doug Wilson's (an my) hometown of Moscow. (Unfortunately I was unable to attend the debate since I was out of town at the time.)

The topic was "Is civil marriage for gay couples good for society?" and was moderated by Peter Hitchens, the late great Christopher Hitchens's obnoxious little brother.

Andrew Sullivan argued forcefully and persuasively in favor of the proposition, using his personal experience as a gay married man, while citing data showing the positive effects of gay marriage on society.

Doug Wilson began his argument with these words:

I would like to begin by thanking the Lord for how everything came together. (22:52)

And everything fell apart for him from there.

In his initial fifteen minute presentation, he presented two arguments:

1) If gays are allowed to marry then so will polygamists, bisexuals, first cousins, etc.

2) Gay marriage is grammatically incorrect.

The slippery polygamous slope argument is obvious (and silly) enough, but the grammatical argument requires a bit of explaining. Here's how Douglas Wilson put it in the debate: (36:31)

At a certain point, allowing for changes in the direct object actually changes the meaning of the verb. Andrew appears to agree with this, arguing for "monogamy as central to all marriage." Adding a third person would take away the central element, meaning that such marriages weren't really marriages, making the direct object "two women", for example, instead of "one woman", means that the verb "to marry" has been altered.

And, as everyone knows, when the direct object alters the verb, all hell breaks loose.

During the question and answer session, the second question to Doug Wilson was this: (1:24:29)

I listened with great interest to your fifteen minute opening statement, and I heard you drawing lines of acceptable and unacceptable behavior, but I did not hear a single cogent argument for why Mr. Sullivan and his husband's behavior and marriage does not fit within the line that you would draw. And you have not answered the question and you haven't given any reason why civil marriage between gays is not good for society. Would you care to comment please?

Here was Mr. Wilson's answer:

Yes. I timed my opening comment when the light was good and when the light was not good up here, so I've got a little bit left, and I was addressing that in my conclusion, so I'm going to incorporate that into my five-minute close. Basically. So you're exactly right, that's the missing piece and I urge you to wait for it with bated breath.

To which Mr. Sullivan responded:

When the missing piece is the actual proposition to be debated? (laughter and applause)
"Is civil marriage for gay couples good for society?"
Is it unfair to ask you to answer that now? Why didn't you answer it in the beginning?

Wilson:

In the tradition that I was trained in the conclusion usually comes at the end of the argument.

Sullivan:

This is the premise. This is the core of the argument; it's not a conclusion. If it's the conclusion, then you give me no way to engage it. Right? So you are actually shutting off the debate by keeping the key argument for the end..

Wilson:

No, it was the gentleman with the card saying "30 seconds left" that actually shut off the...

Sullivan:

Well now you have all the time in the world to answer the man's question.

Wilson:

I'm happy to answer your question. The reason civil marriage is not good for society is that the changing of the direct object from a woman to a man when a man is considering marriage is that to change the direct object does more than just change the direct object, it changes the meaning of the verb. So the verb "to marry" is changed for all of us.We're not taking a house and adding an extra room, what we're doing is we're going into a new state of affairs to allow marriage between a man and a man and a woman and a woman is to open the doors to a dilution of what it means to marry at all. And I believe, and this is an area where Andrew and I agree, that an established social institution like marriage ought not to be messed with.

So it's all about direct objects, changing verbs, and adding an extra room to a house.

In his closing statement, Mr. Wilson finally presented a biblical argument against gay marriage. The killer argument that he was saving for last is this: Jesus married the church and the church, it turns out, is female.

Now that's a fine argument except that it fails Wilson's two-pronged test. Since there are many Christian churches, Jesus has many wives. Therefore polygamy is OK. And I don't even want to think about the grammatical implications of Jesus's multiple brides. It would change direct objects, as well as verbs, and require many room additions in the polygamous kingdom of heaven.

Doug Wilson lost the debate because he couldn't present his real views on gay marriage, so he had to talk about slippery slopes, direct objects, and Jesus's marital relations.

You see, Doug Wilson believes in the Bible, and the Bible is clear on gay marriage. Here's what it says:

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:13

Doug Wilson believes that this verse is a commandment from God that should be applied today. If he had his way there would be no gay marriage because there would be no gay people. They would all be executed as God commands.

Here is what his church's website (Credenda Agenda) says on the subject.

The civil magistrate is the minister of God to execute wrath on the wrongdoer (Rom. 13:4). God has not left his civil minister without guidance on how to exercise his office. The Scriptures set forth clear standards of judgment for many offenses. Capital crimes, for example, include premeditated killing (murder), kidnapping, sorcery, bestiality, adultery, homosexuality, and cursing one's parents (Ex. 21:14; 21:16; 22:18; 22:19; Lev. 20:10; 20:13; Ex. 21:17).

...

God commands the judge to evaluate the crime rather than the criminal. If the crime is one for which God requires death, then death must be the punishment. Your eye shall not pity. … Thus, the Bible teaches that pity is not an option where God has decided the matter. The magistrate, God's minister, is to faithfully execute justice according to God's standard, not man's.

Doug Wilson had to censure his own views on homosexuality during the debate. That's why he lost so badly. It's hard to defend a belief that you dare not express.

Jesus H. Christ: Does anyone know his name?

2013-02-26T16:30:00.000-08:00

The answer to that question is "No", according to the Bible anyway.

His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. Revelation 19:12

So although we know what Jesus looks like (he has flaming red eyes and wears many crowns on this head -- you'll know him when you see him), we don't know his name. No one does.

Except for those that do, that is.

Like his foster father, Joseph, who named him Jesus. (An angel told him what to name him in a dream.)

The angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS. Matthew 1:21

And Matthew (misinterpreting Isaiah), who said he'd be named Emmanuel.

A virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel. Matthew 1:23

Remember how the book of Revelation said that nobody knows Jesus' name? Well, I guess the author didn't include himself. Here are some of his favorite names for Jesus.

I am Alpha and Omega. Revelation 1:8

Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. Revelation 5:5

I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. Revelation 19:11

He was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. Revelation 9:13

He hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:16 (What does Jesus have written on his testicles?)

I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star. Revelation 22:16 (How are Jesus and Satan alike?)

So Jesus, contrary to Revelation 19:12, has lots of names. And I have another contradiction to add to the SAB. (Here it is.)

(ht Stephen Weeks)

Believing Bullshit

2013-02-21T09:15:00.001-08:00

We all do it now and then to a certain degree, anyway -- believe things that are demonstrably untrue.

Now there's a book to help us stop doing that: Believing Bullshit by Stephen Law.

The entire book is a delight to read, filled with wit and wisdom on every page. But the part that I liked the best was saved for last: The Tapescrew Letters, a hilarious response to C.S. Lewis' silly set of sanctimonious letters with a similar name (The Screwtape Letters).

There are eight chapters that deal with the most common ways that we deceive ourselves.

Playing the Mystery Card
"But It Fits!" and The Blunderbuss
Going Nuclear
Moving the Semantic Goalposts
"I Just Know!"
Pseudoprofundity
Piling Up the Anecdotes
Pressing Your Buttons

They're all great, but I especially like the section "You Can't Prove A Negative" in Chapter 1, where Dr. Law explains, "If 'you can't prove a negative' means that you can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that certain things don't exist, then the claim is just false."

This is a book that everyone should read. It's time for us all to stop believing bullshit.

Is it OK to use perfume?

2013-02-18T09:53:00.001-08:00

I was watching the 1966 movie "Hawaii" last night, when I came upon this dialog:

Jerusha Hale: I felt so good after my bath that I washed my skin with oil of lilac.

Abner Hale: I smell it. (Pause) Moses forbad the use of perfume.

Jerusha: Proverbs say that ointment and perfume rejoice the heart.

Abner: Isaiah cursed the women who used perfume and abased themselves unto hell.

Jerusha: Esther perfumed herself for a whole year.

Abner: She was under compulsion.

Jerusha: Oh, I think you just like the smell of perfume on my skin.

I suppose I should provide some context for those who haven't seen the movie.

Abner Hale is a Calvinist minister sent to Hawaii in the 1820s to convert the pagans. On the sea voyage, Abner's wife, Jerusha, tries to seduce her husband by wearing perfume. The biblical argument ensues, and apparently Jerusha wins since a son is conceived during the voyage.

But who had the more biblically correct argument?

Here are the relevant verses.

Jerusha's:

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart. Proverbs 27:9

Esther was brought also unto the king's house ... Now when every maid's turn was come to go in to king Ahasuerus, after that she had been twelve months, according to the manner of the women, (for so were the days of their purifications accomplished, to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours). Esther 2:8-12

Abner's:

As for the perfume which thou shalt make, ye shall not make to yourselves ... it shall be unto thee holy for the LORD. Exodus 30:37

Because the daughters of Zion are haughty ... the LORD will discover their secret parts ... And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink. Isaiah 3:16-24

It's a tough one, isn't it? Two to two, with no verse clearly taking precedence. But maybe Abner and Jerusha left out some verses. If you know of any, let me know.

In any case, I added another contradiction to the SAB - Is it OK to use perfume?

In his comment, Daryl pointed out that Jesus had his feet washed with expensive perfume, and he didn't mind a bit. In fact, it seems like he got a kick out of it. Here's how the NIV puts it:

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3

So that pretty well settles it. Jerusha was right. If perfume was good enough for Jesus' feet, it's good enough for anybody's anything.

I'll add John 12:3 to the contradiction. Thanks Daryl!

And teavee found the correct anti-perfume verse from Isaiah that Abner referred to in his dispute with Jerusha -- Isaiah 57:9.

And thou wentest to the king with ointment, and didst increase thy perfumes ... and didst debase thyself even unto hell.

And an anti-perfume verse from Proverbs (7:17). (See vv.5-27 for the context.)
Thanks teavee!
(I've also changed the contradiction name to "Is it OK to use perfume?", as teavee suggested.)

And thanks also to Nate for the references to Luke 7:37-38 and Mark 14:1-9.

The books have arrived!

2013-02-16T00:57:00.001-08:00

We are busy packing them up and shipping them out to everyone who pre-ordered.

You'll get an email when your signed copy goes out.

Thanks, everybody!

Steve and Phil

We have a new pope!

2013-02-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

(ht Stephen Weeks)

Mosiah 19: Lamanite Attack!

2013-02-08T13:14:00.000-08:00

In the last chapter, King Noah sent his army after Alma and his people. They managed to escape the pursuing army (with the help of God, no doubt). When the king's army returned, there was a division among the people. One strong man, Gideon, sought to slay the king.

And now there was a man among them whose name was Gideon, and he being a strong man and an enemy to the king, therefore he drew his sword, and swore in his wrath that he would slay the king. 19:4

Gideon and the king fought, and just as Gideon was about to slay him, King Noah ran away to his tower. Once Gideon caught up with him, Noah saw that the Lamanites were preparing to attack the city. He saw it as the perfect opportunity to bargain for his life. He told Gideon that he shouldn't kill him now, or else his people will be killed by the Lamanites. His ploy works, and Gideon spares his life.

And Gideon pursued after him and was about to get upon the tower to slay the king, and the king cast his eyes round about towards the land of Shemlon, and behold, the army of the Lamanites were within the borders of the land. 19:6

And now the king cried out in the anguish of his soul, saying: Gideon, spare me, for the Lamanites are upon us, and they will destroy us; yea, they will destroy my people. 19:7

And now the king was not so much concerned about his people as he was about his own life; nevertheless, Gideon did spare his life. 19:8

Noah commanded his people to flee into the wilderness. They do, but the Lamanites quickly catch up and start killing people.

And the king commanded the people that they should flee before the Lamanites, and he himself did go before them, and they did flee into the wilderness, with their women and their children. 19:9

And it came to pass that the Lamanites did pursue them, and did overtake them, and began to slay them. 19:10

Then Noah tells his people to abandon their wives and children, and to run for their lives. Some of them do, and the others choose to stay and try and defend their families by other means: whoring out their daughters.

Now it came to pass that the king commanded them that all the men should leave their wives and their children, and flee before the Lamanites. 19:11

Now there were many that would not leave them, but had rather stay and perish with them. And the rest left their wives and their children and fled. 19:12

And it came to pass that those who tarried with their wives and their children caused that their fair daughters should stand forth and plead with the Lamanites that they would not slay them. 19:13

And it came to pass that the Lamanites had compassion on them, for they were charmed with the beauty of their women. 19:14

So the Lamanites took them captive, and let them live their lives relatively unchanged, except for a 50% tax. (Geez, I thought King Noah's tax was high!)

Therefore the Lamanites did spare their lives, and took them captives and carried them back to the land of Nephi, and granted unto them that they might possess the land, under the conditions that they would deliver up king Noah into the hands of the Lamanites, and deliver up their property, even one half of all they possessed, one half of their gold, and their silver, and all their precious things, and thus they should pay tribute to the king of the Lamanites from year to year. 19:15

Limhi, the new "King", agreed to this Draconian tax. He didn't have much choice, though. The Lamanite king drove a hard bargain.

And it came to pass that the king of the Lamanites made an oath unto them, that his people should not slay them. 19:25

And also Limhi, being the son of the king, having the kingdom conferred upon him by the people, made oath unto the king of the Lamanites that his people should pay tribute unto him, even one half of all they possessed. 19:26

The Lamanite king was clever, though. He knew that Limhi's people might try running away again, so he posted guards around the city. In spite of the crippling tax that was upon them, there was continual peace in the land for two years.

And the king of the Lamanites set guards round about the land, that he might keep the people of Limhi in the land, that they might not depart into the wilderness; and he did support his guards out of the tribute which he did receive from the Nephites. 19:28

And now king Limhi did have continual peace in his kingdom for the space of two years, that the Lamanites did not molest them nor seek to destroy them. 19:29

Mosiah 18: Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon...

2013-01-31T17:47:00.000-08:00

We met Alma last chapter, when he tried to convince King Noah not to kill Abinadi. It didn't go so well... it ended with King Noah burning Abinadi at the stake, and ordering the death of Alma, too. Alma managed to escape, and after he did he started preaching to the people in private.

And now, it came to pass that Alma, who had fled from the servants of king Noah, repented of his sins and iniquities, and went about privately among the people, and began to teach the words of Abinadi 18:1

And many did believe his words. 18:3

Apparently he was a pretty good speaker, and he created quite the following. He took his followers to a land called Mormon. It's called "Mormon" because it's infested with wild beasts. Makes sense.

And it came to pass that as many as did believe him did go forth to a place which was called Mormon, having received its name from the king, being in the borders of the land having been infested, by times or at seasons, by wild beasts. 18:4

Alma takes his followers to the Waters of Mormon and baptizes them all. Then he ordains priests, one for every 50 followers.

Alma and Helam were buried in the water; and they arose and came forth out of the water rejoicing, being filled with the Spirit. 18:14

And again, Alma took another, and went forth a second time into the water, and baptized him according to the first, only he did not bury himself again in the water. 18:15

And after this manner he did baptize every one that went forth to the place of Mormon; and they were in number about two hundred and four souls; yea, and they were baptized in the waters of Mormon, and were filled with the grace of God. 18:16

The priests were required to support themselves, though. Alma didn't want any spoiled priests like Noah had.

18:24 And he also commanded them that the priests whom he had ordained should labor with their own hands for their support.

He also seemed to favor progressive taxation. He demanded little of those with little, and more from those with more to give.

And again Alma commanded that the people of the church should impart of their substance, every one according to that which he had; if he have more abundantly he should impart more abundantly; and of him that had but little, but little should be required; and to him that had not should be given. 18:27

Everything seemed to be going well in the land of Mormon. They didn't even mind the word "Mormon" back then. They actually seem to use it an amazing amount.

And now it came to pass that all this was done in Mormon, yea, by the waters of Mormon, in the forest that was near the waters of Mormon; yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever. 18:30

Of course, nowadays you are supposed to call them "Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints". You could turn this verse into a whole page if you did that!

Everything was good until King Noah sends out spies and found out about them. Of course, Noah sent his army out to destroy them, and they fled into the wilderness, as usual.

But behold, it came to pass that the king, having discovered a movement among the people, sent his servants to watch them. Therefore on the day that they were assembling themselves together to hear the word of the Lord they were discovered unto the king. 18:32

And now the king said that Alma was stirring up the people to rebellion against him; therefore he sent his army to destroy them. 18:33

And it came to pass that Alma and the people of the Lord were apprised of the coming of the king's army; therefore they took their tents and their families and departed into the wilderness. 18:34

Earlier we learned that there were 200 followers of Alma, but 450 people flee from King Noah's army. It must have been hard to depart in the wilderness with so many small children, but I'm sure they are used to it.

Mosiah 16-17: The end of Abinadi

2013-01-26T18:34:00.000-08:00

Chapter 16 wraps up Abinadi's speech, and thankfully, it's the last we'll have to hear from him He continues with the usual threats (but this time quoting language from Matthew 22:13):

And then shall the wicked be cast out, and they shall have cause to howl, and weep, and wail, and gnash their teeth; and this because they would not hearken unto the voice of the Lord; therefore the Lord redeemeth them not. 16:2

But there will also be rewards for the righteous:

If they be good, to the resurrection of endless life and happiness; and if they be evil, to the resurrection of endless damnation, being delivered up to the devil, who hath subjected them, which is damnation -- 16:11

And, one last time, he calls for the sinners to repent (or at least tremble):

And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved? 16:13

King Noah doesn't listen. Instead, it came to pass that he commanded his priests to kill Abinadi.

And now it came to pass that when Abinadi had finished these sayings, that the king commanded that the priests should take him and cause that he should be put to death. 17:1

But his words were not spoken in vain. There was at least one who heard him. He was a descendant of Nephi, and his name was Alma.

But there was one among them whose name was Alma, he also being a descendant of Nephi. And he was a young man, and he believed the words which Abinadi had spoken, for he knew concerning the iniquity which Abinadi has testified against them; therefore he began to plead with the king that he would not be angry with Abinadi, but suffer that he might depart in peace. 17:2

But King Noah's mind was made up. He was going to kill Abinadi, and now he was going to kill Alma, too.

But the king was more wroth, and caused that Alma should be cast out from among them, and sent his servants after him that they might slay him.17:3

But Alma got away from Noah's priests, and he hid in the woods for a few days. Noah threw Abinadi in prison, and then brought him out to hear his sentence: Death. Abinadi held to his words, and threatens Noah one more time.

Now Abinadi said unto him: I say unto you, I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you concerning this people, for they are true; and that ye may know of their surety I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands. 17:9

Yea, and I will suffer even until death, and I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you. And if ye slay me ye will shed innocent blood, and this shall also stand as a testimony against you at the last day. 17:10

This almost scares King Noah enough to release Abinadi. But then his priests goad him on, and he is forced to burn Abinadi to death. That's how it goes sometimes.

And now king Noah was about to release him, for he feared his word; for he feared that the judgments of God would come upon him.17:11

But the priests lifted up their voices against him, and began to accuse him, saying: He has reviled the king. Therefore the king was stirred up in anger against him, and he delivered him up that he might be slain.17:12

And it came to pass that they took him and bound him, and scourged his skin with faggots, yea, even unto death. 17:13

While he was burning, he cursed them pretty good. He covers all of his the basics: they will be burned, afflicted with disease, hunted by their enemies...

Ye shall be afflicted with all manner of diseases because of your iniquities. 17:16

Ye shall be hunted, and ye shall be taken by the hand of your enemies, and then ye shall suffer, as I suffer, the pains of death by fire. 17:18

Thus God executeth vengeance upon those that destroy his people. O God, receive my soul. 17:19

So Abinadi died, sealing the truth of his words by his death. (Don't worry, it didn't make sense to me, either)

And now, when Abinadi had said these words, he fell, having suffered death by fire; yea, having been put to death because he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death. 17:20