nothing much

What Does Rush Limbaugh Think of Ron Paul?

2011-12-15T15:59:00.004-05:00

A few months ago I made the decision to support Ron Paul for president. Rick Perry had just entered the race and things were looking good for both him and Bachman, and my first choice, Mitch Daniels, had dropped out. I really didn't think that Paul had much of a chance but the message Paul was putting out there really impressed me. After reviewing his record and his life story, I decided that this was the man I would prefer to be President of the US out of all the candidates.

As time has progressed suddenly it seems that Paul might have a chance. I pretty much had given up hope when Cain had his moment of fame, but that faded away. It's a little bit exciting for me to watch the latest poll numbers. However, it seems whenever a candidate reaches the top they get destroyed by the media and then go to the bottom. I'm wondering what's going to happen in the next few weeks as Paul could possibly emerge as the front runner in Iowa. Already Paul has begun receiving criticism, but it comes from what I thought would be an unlikely source: conservative media.

I've been listening to Rush for the past 5 or 6 years pretty regularly and have a lot of respect for Rush's opinions. I was very interested to see what Rush Limbaugh would have to say about Ron Paul and was somewhat disappointed when he pretty much ignored Ron Paul for the first part of the race. I didn't know why because I thought he was a good candidate. Occasionally he would stab a negative remark at Ron Paul's foreign policy, but nothing too demeaning. Now that Paul has been gaining some traction Rush has really started laying it on thick and frankly it annoys me a bit. Rush dismisses Paul as being a candidate that is a fringe extremist. Today on the show Rush said made a remark that Paul supporters are uniformed tea partiers who are enamored by Paul's promise of cutting a trillion from the budget. I don't know what this comment was trying to achieve, but I found it a bit offensive. He then went on a rant discrediting Paul because of his strange ideas about foreign policy.

Putting aside my distaste for Rush's negative comment, I begin to wonder what's going on. Rush has to know that most Paul supporters are younger people who form their opinions based on findings primarily on the internet. Paul's campaign is similar to Obama's in this respect. Most supporters are very well informed and totally set in their views. He simply has to know this. I've seen young people line the streets of Valparaiso IN (the town I live in) holding Ron Paul signs on several occasions recently. I've never seen this with any other candidate except Obama in '08. The following is big enough, and different enough, that he has to realize what's going on. So when he goes and says Paul supporters are uninformed folks who are basically stupid, I begin to wonder why he puts it that way. I've developed several theories.

First of all we have to understand that Rush is not an average American. He is very rich and successful and hangs out with the most important men in America. Last weekend he played golf with Donald Trump, for example. Nothing is wrong with any of this IMO. He also keeps his true personality separate from his radio personality, I think he probably has a much different persona off the air than on the air. Nothing wrong with this either, just that I only have a glimpse of who he actually is. Through his successful radio show he has captured such a loyal following of average hard working Americans that he is able to sway the opinion of a significant amount of voters. There are people who follow his every word, and there are people who would do the exact opposite of what he says. I may be reading into this too much, but it seems to me that Rush really keeping his distance from Paul. Either he doesn't talk about him at all, or he makes stabs at him.

Theory No.1: Rush is being completely honest.

Rush could be saying it how he sees it with Paul. He likes some ideas but thinks the foreign policy is too radical and dangerous for America and thus Paul should not be considered. This sounds like a perfectly good theory except for the comments he makes about Paul's supporters being stupid. Also, it can be inferred that he hasn't thought Paul is electable, which I would have agreed with to a degree, up until the past few weeks. The time he devotes to talking about Paul recently hasn't reflected the seriousness of Paul's campaign, which leads me to believe there are other things going on in his brain than what he says on the air.

Theory plausibility: 80%

Theory No.2 He loves Ron Paul

Perhaps Rush loves Ron Paul so much he doesn't want to endorse him because he knows it would give the mainstream media an excuse to bash Paul. After all, everything Paul stands for, except for the foreign policy, are values that I've in one way or another heard Rush preaching about for the past 6 years. However, it seems unlikely that he would pull something like this given the fact that the primaries are coming up and thousands of voters are developing opinions based on what he is saying. But, he hasn't really fully endorsed any other candidate.

Theory plausibility: 10%

Theory No.3 He's being paid off

Perhaps the other top contenders are paying off Rush. Maybe Mitt and/or Newt are trying to stay in the race and for some reason or another (maybe a financial reason) Rush has decided to not expose these two for being the liberals they are. Perhaps Rush is always paid off under the table as a political advertiser and maybe Paul won't give him any money.

Theory plausibility: 10%

Theory No. 4: He's just trying to get a Republican in the White House

Now I know it is important for Rush that Obama is not re-elected and I think he is careful to make sure none of the candidates completely loose credibility. Since Newt and Mitt are not serious contenders, it would make sense to paint a fairly positive picture about them in the oval office. Perhaps the republican party is paying him off. This Theory doesn't explain why he doesn't like Paul though, since Paul is significantly more conservative than Newt or Mitt. Still, it would make sense not to back any one person and to keep it a level playing field as anything could happen at this point.

Theory plausibility: 50%

Theory No. 5: Conspiracy

Perhaps Rush knows things we don't. Maybe he knows that the things Paul is trying to do would so radically change America and it's financial systems, that things we don't even know about would topple and change the country in a way he doesn't want it changed. After all, Paul is definitely not a career politician and would likely stand up for what he thinks is right. Who knows what goes on in the government! It could be some guy in a cave in Nevada that wears black leather and ray bans who actually controls the country (in a way you could say the Federal Reserve and banking system is this guy). Unlikely, but perhaps he fears for Paul's safety. There is a compartment in my brain that finds conspiracy theories highly entertaining, so it runs wild with this one. I generally don't believe conspiracy theories though.

Theory plausibility: 30%

Theory No. 6: Rush is annoyed with me

Perhaps its the cult like following that reminds him too much of Obama or hippies. After all, nothing good can come from a bunch of dope smoking kids shouting peace and love... right?

Theory plausibility: 50%

Well, I'm going to end my theories there. I have several more floating around in my brain but nothing worth telling the world about. Another thing that concerns me is that I posted a comment on Rush's facebook page noting what he said about us being uninformed and asking why he really didn't like Paul. My comment was deleted within about a minute. No big deal, I may have done the same. But, given the fact that he lets a lot of other annoying Paul comments stay, I wonder why he deleted mine... immediately the honesty theory dropped a few points.

Here's a link where Rush completely denies Paul's credibility as a conservative tea party candidate. He also was rude to the caller about even mentioning Ron Paul and made it clear that Paul was in no way associated with the tea party. Interesting considering that Ron Paul is considered the godfather of the tea party movement by many.
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2011/12/06/ron_paul_ain_t_the_tea_party

Here's another link called the Ron Paul Problem. Here he states about Paul, "But he's all over everywhere and he's being discussed with total credibility, and it's a problem -- and I'll tell you why it's a problem for me. Pure and simple, it is Ron Paul's foreign policy."
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2011/12/09/the_ron_paul_problem
Facts:

So like him or not, he is a front runner right now.

Interested or not in what I think, I wonder what is going on in Rush's mind because too many times he punches at Paul for no good reason in my opinion.

The Analytic Problem

2011-12-08T11:39:00.007-05:00

I suck at communicating.

What is a revolutionary discovery to me, but is probably obvious to most, explains so much about my previously unexplained ability to get along with people: I suck at communication. It occurred to me the other day, based on substantial evidence, that what goes on in my head is vastly different than what goes on in other people's heads. For my entire life I have assumed that people can follow my thought patterns. I don't know why I haven't put the pieces together before now.

This revolution came to me a couple days ago after an all day meeting at work. Several times throughout the day my boss would get frustrated with things I was saying and my mentor, Mr. M(a fellow project engineer a couple years my senior who kinda watches over what I do), would interpret what I was saying so that my boss could understand.

The boss scenario usually goes like this: my boss asks a question and I don't have a direct answer because the massive amount of data required to generate a solution gives me at best a good ball park answer. So, I start by saying I'm not totally sure and then begin recounting the many reasons why I'm not so sure. All my boss hears is that I'm not sure. I've come to the realization that he cannot follow my thought process. The minute I begin recounting why I'm not sure of something it's as if I'm speaking in another language.

We had a scenario like this in the past week with the job we were bidding. There were 4 alternates and I had about 15 different items I was bidding. Each alternate removed certain aspects of the 15 items I was bidding. I used an excel sheet to track the data. Turns out I entered my data differently than the bid was supposed to be written, and this was fixed with the use of a simple formula.

Anyways, we were going over the information a couple days ago and my boss simply couldn't understand me. He got so frustrated he eventually left and told me to re-evaluate my number. I think he was under the impression all my numbers were wrong and we were going to loose a lot of money. An hour later I had it all interpreted into what I thought he could understand. Mr. M still had to interpret my revised spreadsheet to him but we resolved the situation in the end.

This scenario is just one small example of what I've been dealing with since I've started working here. Finally I understand that people are not following my logic! No matter how clear I try to present my thoughts they are not understood. They are misinterpreted and it is thought that I don't know what I'm talking about.

I think about things from a very analytic point of view. I take a very long approach to reach any conclusion and only reach a conclusion if I've considered everything involved. Therefore I have a hard time making up my mind about things. The spreadsheets I create just confuse people because I'm analyzing information in a way that is not normal. I've taken all the personality tests in the past and have scored as an analytic, but I've kinda just discarded the information as irrelevant. Turns out it's been affecting my relationships my entire life.

Attached is a standard personality write up I found on another site that explains pretty much what goes on in my head.

Analytical Thinkers like you are reserved, quiet persons. You like to get to the bottom of things - curiosity is one of your strongest motives. You want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. You do not really need much more to be happy because you are a modest person. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to your type. Analytical Thinkers loathe contradictions and illogicalness; with your sharp intellect, you quickly and comprehensively grasp patterns, principles and structures. You are particularly interested in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings; for you, it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical acts or in sharing your considerations with others. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone; your ability to concentrate is more marked than that of all other personality types. You are open for and interested in new information.

Analytical Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - you are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of your work by others does not play a great role for you; in general, you are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant. You therefore often give others the impression that you are arrogant or snobby - especially because you do not hesitate to speak your mind with your often harsh (even if justified) criticism and your imperturbable self-confidence. Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with you. But whoever succeeds in winning your respect and interest has a witty and very intelligent person to talk to. A partner who amazes one with his excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.

As an Analytical Thinker you are one of the introverted personality types. You are not particularly suited for dealing with others, working as a part of a team and be in the position of “continuous exchange“, you would much rather work alone, and dwell on your thoughts undisturbed. You usually put a critical distance between yourself and others that enables you to be the keen and incorrupt observer of life. This distance can be truly bridged by only very few other people. That is probably caused by the fact that you are not all that interested to share your thoughts with others. Generally it is sufficient for you to have clarified a matter for yourself or that you have understood something; the continuous in your eyes mostly superficial chatter of the people around you becomes rather annoying.

You prefer to work independently and appreciate having a lot of time and quiet in order to concentrate on the really important things: Structuring ideas, comprehending complex causalities, understanding of the universe, its rules and the logical analysis of systems. You absorb new information like a sponge and your memory is legendary. Once you have learned something, you’ll never forget it - unless you consider it to be irrelevant for some reason and decide that it seems to be better purging it from your data storage.

Creative problem solving and jumping out of your paradigm to development daring future visions are a part of your greatest strength. At the same time you are the most acute and rational critic of your own ideas, each one of them will be rigorously examined and discarded at the smallest indication of contradictions or lack of logic. You usually leave the implementation to others and prefer to turn to new theoretical reflections. Especially in case of self employment (in your case a real possibility) it is important to surround yourself with hands-on oriented and dependable employees who make sure that your incredible suggestions for solutions become reality while you return to immersing yourself in your intellectual world.

I think this write-up sorta romantically portrays the idea of this specific thought process. Actually it kind of sucks. It sucks because you can't relate to people very well. What this write up fails to mention is that people like me actually repel relationships without meaning to. It makes it very hard to work in an environment like I do. I'm at the bottom of a hierarchy of people who don't understand a thing I say and even though I have many ideas of how this company could run in a more efficient manner, my ideas will never be recognized because I'm not understood and therefore have no credibility. I feel so misunderstood sometimes that people doubt my ability to even perform the responsibilities I have. So moving up the ladder seems impossible. If I was working in the field and my thought process was internalized and translated into material being installed faster, I would move up the ladder quickly. But working in an environment where my ideas have to be shared in a team environment is almost career suicide.

So, I've learned that I'm going to have to interpret my thoughts before talking to people. I come across as a stuck up snot most times because I'm thinking out loud. I'm going to have to learn to give straight answers and shut up when I would otherwise have a data diarrhea of the mouth.

life and death

2011-12-02T10:55:00.007-05:00

Still grass browns in a fall as seasons turn to a deathly cold. Standing firm from a complex array of cells left to die a seed remains. What once was alive now dies but remains, still bearing resemblance of exuberance. These colors brighten a view decorated with a promise of life. What is dead supports what was once alive, ripened to bear what will be. Men and grass bear a familiar cause, the effect of which will praise a truth understood by few. What we see as life will fall away, but that which brought life will never die.

Inside a metal box we have stored what we wish to protect. Can one be so sure that safety can be found? With tools of destruction it is thought change can be made. With fire we reshape what we find. What is already dead is used to make a change in what we call life. Rust will decay these tools and death will be hastened. What life can we make? Is being alive more than waiting to die?

Seeds may die and seeds may live. What is sowed will be reaped. Nothing can be made from what is given that will bear fruit except that which is already alive. Everything seen is dying or already dead. Take from it what you will, but a curse of death cannot be taken away by manipulating that which the curse has already killed.

Minds will not understand life. Life has created minds. Can a subject of creation understand what it is that makes it be? How men have used what is given to them will never exceed what they cannot reach. What knowledge is possessed from what is dead cannot more than observe what was alive. One touch of life will change death forever. Such knowledge is to great for men and to lofty for them to attain.

Quests of the mind will be made for that which is deeper can only find. For this too may die but also may live. For what purpose is death pondered without thoughts of life? Building blocks of death are used to make ideas thought to purpose life. What is made is protected by what is dead. There is no life to be found, just reflections of what was touched by that which lives. Why is this protection given with such diligence? Is it thought that death is life? This thought is questioned by something deeper which is ignored so that death's hands can be embraced as a friend greeting a friend.

Trees branch out from a common root. Leaves come and go, gracing us with beauty for a moment. Man is like a leaf that provides color for awhile. Who is looking at the leaves? Who is it that stops to enjoy them? Life is given to man from this root and these leaves are enjoyed by one. Leaves do not think, leaves are. What will fall from the tree cannot live without the life given by the tree.

Words reflect a perception of what can be communicated from what limited understanding can be derived. Life is written about but life cannot be known from words of men. Why do we act like we are living apart from what is really alive? We will all pass to death and dust will be satisfied with the return of a friend. Life has walked among us and willingly gives that which we try to attain.

Forget what knowledge power is thought to bring. Why is ruling over death appealing to men? Can life be understood by what we find in death? Few find what they seek and they that seek will find. What time and death have given will not answer questions roots cannot be seen posses of life. What life makes live will never die.

Is life an idea? Is life a Thought? Can formulas do more than organize knowledge into understandable thoughts? Even thoughts are written on death and reflect nothing more than what it cannot bring back to life. Life is real but is not seen. Life is more than man can comprehend and power is not to be found in death. What is dead can be brought to life only if what is alive is found. Death is eventually nothing life is beauty. What is dead is beautiful because it was once alive. Lies think death created beauty. Seek truth and life with all your heart.

"I am the Way the Truth and the Life, no man comes to the Father Except through me," says the author of Life.

dirt

2011-11-30T22:37:00.004-05:00

A house made of skins sets on a prairie clothed in grass. A man from the dust of the earth carves a life out of what he is made of. What time cannot let man remember is the truth that is ignored by most. A concept primitive to primitive simplistic thought found in a place with no distractions. Could there be a way to reach a freedom sought by men yet confused by misunderstood desires? When will the thoughts of man reach the conclusion understood in the words of the most high?

Winds could blow structures of glass to the grounds covered by streets supported by a forgotten reality. Even then hardly a thought would be given to the idea that man is made of what lies below these streets. Like a low fog our heads are in. In time we are blind to what all directions of travel we can remember. More than memories is what is real. Time doesn't hold all the answers, it's less real than realized. Time holds pictures of what thoughts try to understand and a memory lets you hold on to. Memories picture what men build desires upon.

Travels on a road that could be upset by gravity. Holding down men to what he is made of he can't see. What thought exist in darkness? Flying is a dream, freedom is misguided. Cut loose these forces. Be alone in darkness and what is left to desire will be eaten away by a lack of truth. Truth is ignored in an attempt to desire something found alone in this truth.

Rocks cemented by dust are made to house an idea of dominance. What is new leaves an idea of superior power. What is seen is just what is made by what is given. Filth is desired in all channels of a disillusionment. Why is loosing a lost answer the pursuit of men? Why don't memories of this quest even enter our minds?

At the end of a day in the light, a darkness ushers a restful sleep. This same light is used to see what can be made to ignore a burning fire, what fire makes light sustains man.

Search your heart and know there is truth. Find the God and know love. Remove these desires and understand the skins and dirt are reflections of what a heart desires. A heart we run from that runs to us. Nothing more real than what we cannot see could ever be.

Be still and know that he is God.

Two If By Tea

2011-11-29T22:21:00.002-05:00

My brother John made this video for the the two if by tea commercial contest. I'm thinking he has a good chance of making the top 3.

Why do we go to church?

2011-11-14T11:48:00.009-05:00

I typically don't speak up in church during the question/comment period of an informal service, but last night I raised my hand and posed a few questions to my pastor.

We were discussing the importance of going to church. The pastor asked all the deacons why they thought it was important to go to church. This comment was met by the usual array of responses pertaining to the importance of believers gathering together. I have no problem with these answers and completely agree, however, I have done a fair amount of thinking on why we do it the way we do it in modern church. I decided to bring the matter into question.

In Hebrews it says to not forsake the gathering together of believers. This command is clear in telling us that it is important to gather together so as to encourage one another and reap the benefits of Christian fellowship. Clear as this and other similar commands are, I don't see anywhere that specifies this is to take place on Sunday.

My question was: Do you see a connection between the fourth commandment and the command to gather together? Do you think it is inferred that a gathering of believers takes place specifically on Sunday?

After expounding on the question for a few minutes it was clear that my pastor did not necessarily think there was a connection. He stated he was 1" from saying there was based on evidence that the New Testament church met on Sundays.

So, if there is no connection, then doesn't that mean that the way modern church functions is fatally flawed? We build massive church buildings which are only open one day a week, 6 days they are locked (except maybe Wednesday night) and on Sunday people come to "fulfill their duties". In my opinion a church building is a facility that makes a convenient place for us to worship together. However, the act of going to church or meeting together once a week does not fulfill the two commandments stated above. In fact holding the church building or the services held therein on a pedestal, is very misleading and in my opinion has led to much sin.

My truck should be a place of worship; my workplace should be a place or worship; my home should be a place of worship. The church building is a convenient facility, and the Sunday services are also a convenient time for people to meet, but such convenience may lead to the notion that other places of worship (all areas of life) are somehow less relevant or important.

If you plan on honoring the Lord's day, going to church can be a great way to get your mind in the right place. But most Christians I know end up going home and turning on a football game as maybe they think they have paid their dues to the Lord by going to church. My dad would usually spend Sunday afternoons reading his Bible, which is probably a better way to honor the Lord. It seems however, that churches promote the idea that in order to honor the Sabbath, and to fulfill gathering together command, we need to sit in a pew for 2 hours on Sunday morning. This idea is wrong to say the least.

I know it would be really weird if churches changed their views to align with scripture. It's not something that our culture would accept, and frankly people don't even know what it should look like. What if churches had services everyday? How about keeping the church open 24/7 for people to be able to come and meet together conveniently? How about we have an all day service on Sunday where we pray, worship, teach, and have actual Christian fellowship? If you're going to honor the Lord's day, why not make it an all day thing?

Americans are too private to engage themselves in one another's lives in such a way. We value our personal liberty and freedom. It would be too inconvenient. It's really easy to fake it for 2 hours a week and it's convenient to be able to live a removed life the rest of the time. Also the structure of the modern church service makes it so most pew residers could live their whole life without ever engaging themselves in actual Christian fellowship or true worship.

Are churches being disobedient to God by promoting the notion that Sunday church kills 2 birds with 1 stone? Is the church helping believers obey the command to honor the Lord's day and to gather together as believers? Why even build churches? Seems to me the millions of dollars we spend on church buildings might be better spent on missionaries. Why do we pay pastors a regular working man's salary for a 1/2 hour sermon and some administration work? Actually most larger churches have several pastors and several secretaries. I don't know what they do with their time, but I do know business and can tell you that it doesn't take 120 man hours (staff of 3) to prepare for a 2 hour routine event in a routine environment. Sounds more like a 6 hour job at best. With even half that amount of prep time it seems to me the service should be so good it would knock me off my pew down upon my knees in repentance and in awe at the Lord of the universe. Instead I usually stand up, make my way to the door, and try to avoid what frivolous small talk inevitably comes my way from nosy people who are looking for attention, gossip, or are just playing the part of being a polite Christian person who is "interested" in my well being.

Why not set up meetings everyday in people's homes? Pay the pastor to preach everyday and organize such meetings and donate the rest of the money to missions.

Do you guys think I'm crazy?

A friend

2011-10-21T14:38:00.019-04:00

Yesterday as I was driving home on 294, working my way through typical Chicago traffic, I began to think back on some old times last summer.

I had just finished my degree and held onto the promise that new horizons were ahead. The fencing work I was doing was some of the last I would ever do as I would soon be working in construction on a professional level. I took a much more relaxed approach to my business than in previous years. Instead of overachieving in every area and working until dark to ensure I made more money, I followed a schedule that was most comfortable to me. Besides, given the poor state of the economy, there simply wasn't enough work to accommodate the over achiever. So the workday began no earlier than 8:30 am, and lasted no longer than 5 pm. I also took the time to socialize more than I ever did. Sometimes I would stay at the warehouse and talk with the guys until about 10am, meaning I wouldn't start work until close to noon.

One morning I arrived and was informed there simply wasn't anything for me to do. I was between jobs and the next one wasn't ready to go. So, I stuck around to drink coffee, smoke, and socialize. It was at this time that Shane informed me that he lost his first child to a miscarriage. This was surprising as I didn't even know he was expecting.

Shane was a guy similar to Clint Eastwood. Organized, prepared, wise, quiet, and always with a good comeback. In a way he reminded me of a redneck version of my dad, only less religious, and with more humor. I always wanted to be his friend, but a guy like that has few friends and is not really seeking friendship. After knowing him for the better part of 5 years, we had reached the point where we were almost friends. He would always make fun of the methods, self made tools, and organizing systems that my overly ambitious self came up with. After all, when I started I was only 19 and fully expected to take over the world. Building the great wall of China wouldn't have phased my ambitions one bit, in contrast he had already been working there for about 7 years and had fully come to terms with the difficulty of the job. After years of doing the same work I think he finally realized that I was someone who could at least stick something out, and yes, some of my ambitious ideas weren't all I cracked them up to be.

It was somewhat moving to see a proud man like Shane, who always seemed to be right, humbled by such devastating circumstances out of his control. Death is something that will effect us all, and I felt grief for him.

After a little socializing, I left and headed home. As I was driving I felt burdened to do something for Shane. Obviously flowers and a sympathy card aren't the kinds of things you do for a man like Shane. I made it a few miles down the road before turning my truck around. I figured the best thing I could do was simply be there with him. The physical demands of fencing are hard enough without a cloud of emotional grief, so I thought I'd help him out.

I passed his truck on the highway and made another U-turn. I followed him to a gas station where I informed him I would assist him for the day. Oddly enough he agreed.

We worked together and finished the fence before 1pm. I think it took us three hours. He was one of the fastest guys, and I know how to make a crew of more than one work at peak efficiency, even if I am the 2nd hand. I think he said it was one of the fastest installs he had ever performed.

After finishing we sat behind the fence we built together and had lunch. Our trucks were parked in the field behind the house and we gazed off into the distance for about 2 hours and talked. I smoked 2 Don Lugo cigars there with him as we discussed our futures and our personal lives. He offered to pay me but I refused, I was happy just to be there for him, one of those rare occasions where I felt I had something to give.

This was one of the last times I saw him, and a few months ago I received a phone call from him with the news he was expecting twins. He seemed proud of how far I've come as he always encouraged me to finish my education and work in the professional construction field. He also said he would come and work for me if I started a fencing business up here, which I consider one of the highest compliments I've ever recieved. No matter where I go I'll always remember Shane, and if my fencing business takes off there is no one in the world I would rather have running it for me.

Despite all those years of ridicule and teasing, I feel we parted ways as friends. All the hard work we had accomplished in the same environment bonded us together. That final fence we so efficiently built together seemed to symbolically cement the fact that we finally understood one another, we had a solid common ground, similar to men coming home from the battlefield.

I often complain to Alyssa that I wish I had more friends, but really the problem is with me not wanting friends. I would rather have one friend like Shane than a thousand who are just acquaintances. It takes years and many shared experiences before I would consider someone my friend.

First day, first year.

2011-09-13T21:02:00.008-04:00

Today it has been one year since I started working at Thieneman Construction. No, it has not been the most enjoyable year of my life, but it has been a significant step in my professional development. Many times throughout the year I thought I wouldn't make to the one year mark without having a breakdown of some kind and quitting. However, I stuck it out despite the being yelled at, overworked, and under instructed.

Often I wonder what must go through the minds of those who aren't familiar with construction. I started when I was 10 with my grandpa and have been working ever since in the construction industry in some form or another. So I find myself wondering how people who don't know construction view structures. When I look at a structure I subconsciously think about the building process of that structure and what makes it unique. Do others just not think about it?

Commercial construction is so different from residential that there is almost nothing in common, except that the same logic and common sense are used in the physical process. And what I do, utility buildings that have no aesthetic or pleasure function, is even farther removed from residential; it's at the other end of the spectrum. There is no glamour in it, and the only satisfaction gained is success, there is no artistry. Being a non competitive person, and generally fulfilled by artful achievements, it is hard for me to want to play the game.

Despite my distaste for the game, I have learned some valuable lessons. Now if I am handed a job I will tackle it in a totally different way than I did a year ago. It would go something like this:

1. Read the contract

Perhaps nothing is more important than knowing what it is you are being paid to construct. Generality will not do as people will take advantage of you. You have to know every detail of the scope from memory. I would make a list of every activity we are being paid to complete. You will reference this knowledge many times in the future during heated arguments.

2. Read and understand the budget

You have to know what things are going to cost. Examine the bid and understand the thought process of the estimators. Compare the bid with the scope and see if anything was missed. Understanding the budget is important because project managers are hired to make money, not build buildings. You have to manipulate the money to make it work. Assuming that you have money to do everything in the scope is a false presumption, and knowing the shortfalls will help project how the job is going to do in the long run. Banks and bonding companies don't care so much if you don't make profit, but they are terrified of you if you can't project how the job is going to do within a 0-10% range.

3. Build it on paper

Ok, so you've figured out what you have to do and how much you have to do it with. Next, open the plans and go to town. This process will likely take you a week or two. Go through every page of the drawings and study every aspect of the job. I use an excel spreadsheet to document every part of the job down to every last nut and bolt. I use this as an inventory log in the future. Put pricing in the log on every part. Next, start another spreadsheet with activity durations and manpower required. Consultation of the superintendent is wise to accurately plan the work. Now with these two steps done you have a price for all the material, and a price for all the labor.

4. Compare

Take your figures and compare it to the bid and the budget. More than likely there will be some large discrepancies. Some places you will have too much money, some places you will have none. Now you can forecast how the job will do with reasonable certainty. I add an additional large lump sum to my forecast so that I'm covered when things don't go as planned. Remember at this point it is all theoretical, but you want to look good in the end.

5. Buy out and Submittals

During the processes above you want to identify the items that are going to take a long time to get. Rush these submittals to the engineer for approval. Start writing purchase orders and subcontracts. Order all the material you can up front that stores well and can be purchased with certainty. While you are in the planning phase do as much paperwork as you can, flood the engineer with it. You are likely in an office at this time, an environment much more conducive to paper flow than the field. Also, you won't have much time for this when the construction process has begun.

6. Run the job

Now that all the groundwork has been laid, all you have to do is continue to document progress and put out fires. Continuing documentation throughout the job is perhaps one thing that I and other managers procrastinate on. It takes some discipline, but it is valuable in that it points out areas where improvements can be made. We have a lot of monitoring tools in our company that are mandatory, but if you don't have it in your head, they don't work. Ultimately the monitoring tools are updated by our input and if we don't input right then everyone in the company gets a false reading of how our job is doing.

So, that is my lecture to fledgling project managers. There are more things I will likely add to this list before the next year is over, but I don't think I will remove anything.

The big difference in my environment than my previous construction environments is apparent in my lecture. I don't worry about construction, I just worry about steering the ship. It's a lot more like running a business, and in small residential construction its more like just building things. Bob the builder wouldn't be popular if it was about what I do, it's much less interesting though much more intense and suspenseful.

I'm on the porch relaxing right now so I'm going to end this post and think about something besides work!

ants

2011-08-28T16:10:00.005-04:00

My garage ceiling was simply too low. The ceiling joists made it so that I could not pull my truck in the garage because the stacks would hit. I decided to raise the ceiling joist to a few feet below the peak and create more like a vaulted ceiling. In doing this I was also required to replace 6 lights, a project I was already going to do because the wiring situation of my old lights was dangerously shady.

The box/socket setup was less than $2 apiece, so I really wasn't out too much money. I decided to go with those twisty florescent bulbs because I want a bright light, and besides, it does save energy. I know in the past I have made fun of green light bulbs and many folks won't buy them for political reasons. I assure you I was only thinking of my comfort and my pocket book. If I'm able to cut my energy consumption to a third, and have a more pleasurable working environment, then it makes sense. I know my choice in bulbs aligns with free market economics, unlike the government's socialist agenda of forcing me to choose a green option. We shouldn't make choices based on bias of the political parties we align ourselves with. We should do what we believe is right. If you think a CFL bulb is right for you then buy it.

While I was working in the rafters I removed a piece of insulation which happened to be home to an ant colony. As large ants and ant eggs scattered over my garage floor at first I was disgusted at the thought of ants invading my garage, then I began to watch them. I remembered the Proverb that says to go to the ant, consider her ways and be wise. I realized that I needed to take advantage of the situation and learn, so I paused for a minute to reflect. Who knows how long these ants had labored at building their home, probably years. With one swift movement I had destroyed it. The ants however didn't seem to be concerned with their loss the same way I would have. They immediately began carrying the eggs off to safety. Every ant was pitching in to see that the situation was made right and that there would be a future generation of ants. There was no red cross, there was no disaster relief aid from the government. Celebrity ants were not doing relief concerts to raise money for the homeless. Instead every ant victim was so focused you would think they had all just consumed a case of red-bull. No counseling was needed and no post traumatic stress disorder lawsuits were being filed against me.

Had a situation like this happened to me I would have been extremely depressed and would likely have felt so sorry for myself I would've taken at least a week off to have a pity party before making a move to get back on my feet. Now I've had some pretty hard knocks in life, not as much as some, but a fairly healthy dose. For example, take my truck situation that happened a couple weeks ago. There really isn't much more that could go wrong with buying a new vehicle than what happened to me. I'm still angry about it and have been throwing myself a massive pity party. It has affected my work performance and my overall enthusiasm about life. Why would I want to try to work hard for anything if it is just going to get snatched away in a second? I work so hard for something and end up with nothing and even less money than before. Well, those little ants display a lot more maturity than I ever will. I could destroy their home a hundred times again and I bet they wouldn't be any less diligent than they were when I destroyed it the first time. I would have to kill them to get rid of their diligence.

Why am I not acting like an ant? I just let my sinful nature get the best of me and it ends up making me lazy and slothful. I should never doubt the faithfulness and love of God. No matter what happens to me I should get back up and work even harder than before and do so until death takes me away. My mental disposition should never leave a peaceful state. Unlike the ants I know my redeemer lives and he lives in me, so there is no reason that I don't have more hope and a more positive outlook on life than they do. I know that to live is Christ and to die is gain, I know that nothing can separate me from the love of God, but I don't act like it. These pathetic little ants are acting far more righteous than me, I am the pathetic one!

focus on what matters

2011-08-22T11:22:00.004-04:00

There's an excavator to my right, there's an excavator to my left. I'm blocking another lull and a semi as I attempt to fork a bundle of pipes with my lull. The narrow lane is filled with parked trucks and there is no room for me to turn around. With a careful eye I attempt to backup with my load high in the air, the long bundle of pipes passing above the parked trucks. After making several corners in reverse I am able to turn around and bring my load carefully to the top of digester no. 3 where the pipefitters will hand unload the pipes.

Yes this is a scenario where many things could go wrong, and no there is nothing extraordinarily different about this operation than any other. But for some reason today it seems everyone on the job is working in one place. This type of work requires one to forget the surroundings and make the task at hand the focal point. But wait, this statement is not entirely true, because you have to be focused on the immediate surroundings in order to prevent an accident. You have to choose what to pay attention to and what to ignore.

One thing I ignore as I proceed is the fact that I'm blatantly disobeying union rules by even starting the machine I'm on. I have to ignore the looks I get by everyone else who likely assumes i'm scabbing on other trades. But really, why would I hire an operator for 1 hour of work? I'm not going to pay someone $600 a day to sit around, I'll do it myself. I don't know which is the bigger crime: breaking the rules, or spending the money. I can see how my actions are unethical to some extent, but then how unethical are the rules in the first place. It's a question that causes me to question my lack of guilt in the matter.

In the past months I have become quite comfortable with the big machine. It is one of the largest models of the JLG lineup. It has a 40' extendable boom, crane winch, tilt forks, outriggers, 4 wheel steer, 4 wheel drive, and a tilt feature that tilts the entire machine from side to side. A very large and formidable creature it is, and I'm glad I decided to bring to this job. Initially I was thinking of paying the general contractor for the few times we need things moved, but it was proving to be inconvenient. So I had this machine moved on site. I've saved the company thousands by grasping the controls myself, not to mention all the paperwork I have to do whenever we hire a legit operator. And I guess to some extent I feel more useful in that I am able to multitask. This might be entirely selfish though, as my actions probably outrage others.

I quite enjoyed my flight to Wyoming. Especially the last leg from Denver to Rock Springs Wyoming. My eyes never left the windows as we passed over the mountains of central Colorado. I planned routes to summit many of the mountains and scared myself at the possibility of some of the more risky paths.

It didn't take much time to reach my destination, an airport terminal about the size of a corner pharmacy. As my foot hit the tarmac the first thing I noticed was the deafening silence. It was as if there was a sound vacuum, and any words spoken would get eaten up before they reached any potential listeners. I proceeded to the terminal where I was relived to have a moment to reflect on the strange phenomenon. A few minutes later I was on my way to the dealer where my new truck was residing, and an hour or so later I was on the road.

Perhaps there has never been a better vehicle created than the dodge cummins with a manual transmission. Granted this is a matter of opinion, but as my hands grasped the wheel, and me feet worked the pedals, I was even more thoroughly convinced this was the truth. The truck was stiff and rigid, extremely powerful, and the motor purred as if it wanted to be working.

After a few hours of driving I began to notice that it seemed as if I were in a zombie movie. The highway was virtually empty, and there were no signs of life as far as my eye could see. I've driven this highway many times, but for some reason I'd forgotten what open spaces felt like. I could feel something inside of me begin to unwind and relax as I realized there was nothing around me that was watching me. There was no one that I had to look out for. The millions of calculations my brain does when driving through Chicago everyday was suddenly reduced to a small fraction.

A day later I arrived in the outskirts of Chicago where at first I thought I encountered a traffic jam. Upon further consideration I realized that this was actually good traffic as I was travelling over the speed limit. The amount of cars on the road was the equivalent of a standard traffic jam.

As quickly as the truck came, it went. The next day the truck was totaled by circumstances completely out of my control. It's hard for me not to be angry at the man who ran that red light, cost me thousands of dollars, and ruined one of the few trucks in the United States with a manual Cummins.

As I reflect on all these things I can't help but realize how aggravating life can become. It's not just my lost truck, but more so the lack of peace at my current location. My job is riddled with responsibility and risk. I gamble with millions of dollars and yet only see a small salary. Others my be responsible for the work taking place, but I am responsible for the financial part of the job. I have to spend the money budgeted in the most responsible way I can. This means I have to fight for lower costs, and fight to keep our work scope as minimal as possible. I have to ride the fences of what is ethical, and see if there is any way to extend the borders just a little. I may make it sound a little more wrong than it actually is, and since I have to take care of all the land within the fence, I don't spend all my time arguing with the neighbors. But still, I'd much rather be the one cutting the grass than running the farm.

Besides the extreme workplace I have grown to immensely dislike Chicago. As one of the largest cities in the world, the amount of unrest is taxing to the nerves. You're never in a place where there is nothing or no one and it drives me nuts. I guess you have to become numb to any desire for peace. You have to block out the noise to claim any sanity.

Though I have strong feelings against my current situation, I must say I'm glad I've done it. I'm a lot different than I was last year before I moved here. I may not appear different, but all this noise has helped me become a stronger person.

My add goes in next month for my fencing business. I purchased a menu add in one of the busiest restaurants in town. I guess I've never left my fencing days behind, and I'm starting another business up here. This is partly why I bought the new truck. I'm hoping I will get a few jobs over the next year. I've rekindled the concrete fence post idea and have successfully cast a few sample posts. The add will include a statement about my exclusive posts, which I believe could take over a significant market share of the fence business.

Anyways, life requires that you focus on so much more than just the immediate surroundings. I've always been a live in the moment guy, and I'll admit my head swims from having to synthesize so much information. I wish it could be like the plains of Wyoming where I could take it all in and see the beauty. Instead most times its like maneuvering a large machine around in a precarious situation where hundreds of things could potentially go wrong. No you can't just quit, you just have to learn to be more mentally disciplined and focus on what matters.

Strangely enough I feel like there has to be a balanced ratio of zombiness to civility. Either you become a zombie because life becomes too crowded, or you remove yourself from civility and find out who you are. It's not just geography or population though, its much more complicated. Those that make it through life without loosing their senses from an inner standpoint are few and far between. The Bible makes it clear that riches are not to be valued over righteousness. Twist it how you may, but if you really think about our culture's drive, it might not always be the right thing to do what seems right, even from a seemingly "Christian" perspective. Something about my busy life rubs me the wrong way, but not everyone has the same purpose in life. People are given different perspectives so as to accomplish different purposes. My imbalance may help to balance another individual who is going too far the other way. Commit to the Lord whatever you do and you're plans will succeed.

you only have yourself to blame

2011-07-06T10:35:00.008-04:00

Don't you find it annoying how some folks just never seem to want to grow up? I know different people have different ideas about what should be required of them in life, and most do what is right in their own eyes. Regardless of ideologies, there remains in my opinion a large amount of people who have no desire to achieve anything of significance in life.

One evening not so long ago, you could find me on my front porch sipping a PBR with a friend from church. The gentleman I was entertaining happens to be remarkably similar to myself; at least this is what our wives say who happen to be very good friends. As the over-beer conversation wound around the common paths of mundane small talk, we stumbled upon a bit of scenery of which we both had common strong feeling. We both know of young guys in their 20's who seem to lack the drive to make men of themselves. As hardworking individuals, we found it difficult to understand the lack of drive such individuals have to grow up and leave the comfortable nest of reliance on others.

The individual I was speaking with is a couple years my senior and runs a business installing foundations under old homes. He is in position to inherit the business and is an acting general superintendent. He is also a deacon in our church, is married with a few kids. Overall a pretty hard working guy with a definite wild streak.

Anyways, after our conversation ended I have continued to ponder on this topic. I know people are wired differently and some just aren't meant to do extraordinarily great things. There will be men and women who will do menial labor there entire life, and with this I have no issue. What I do for a living, and what the guy I was conversing with does, are not the greatest things that we probably could do. If I really wanted to I could be so much more, but again, I don't think what you do is necessarily the important thing, it's how you do what you do. What annoys me most is how some young people seem to run from responsibility and commitment.

The way my family situation was growing up, I had a strong desire from a young age to prove myself as a man. Being the youngest meant I was barely recognized as achieving much as my older siblings had already done everything I was doing. On top of that I was extremely lonely being in a highly sheltered environment. Pretty much all I wanted to do when I was 18-19 was to start a family and be a man. I was encouraged to do this by some respected peers who pointed out that my desires were not childish, but were good and noble. Now at 24 I have a family I love, a very good job at which I have more responsibility than most people I know, I own a house, a few cars, anyways you get the picture. The remarkable difference between me and most of the guys I hang out with that are at my place in life is age. Most guys are in their 30's and pretty much freak out when they hear my age because on top of where I'm at now I almost always have way more past life experience and responsibility than any of them. Now I know I've been blessed by God beyond measure, but there's more to it than me just getting the lucky number in the Lord's blessing lottery.

The family situation I mentioned above, and the role model my dad was in never being immature and shirking responsibility, paved the way for a strong desire to stick things out and own up to my actions. This is a trait that is missing from far too many young men these days, men that otherwise wouldn't be too different than I. These guys just flail around from idea to idea, doing whatever seems right in the moment. They have girlfriends but never seem to think about any type of long term commitment. They ditch girlfriends for no good reason. They are always in the right and whoever disagrees with them is always in the wrong. They don't respect authority. They don't humble themselves before God. They can't hold down a job... They can't hold down anything that takes more than a few weeks to complete, their limited attention span cannot last this long.

You know the guys I'm talking about, we all do.

I've given up on encouraging guys like this to be good men. Fools don't take direction, and if I candy coat my direction then it somehow goes right to their head and they use it as confirmation that they are right in the moment as generally a guy like this has some noble idea in his mind at any point in time, its just that it ends up fading out in a week or so. I'm still friendly to guys like this I just have a limited attention span listening to their empty words. I would rather just be by myself than be annoyed by the company of fools. I have no advice that wouldn't include some type of berating comment likely including some 4 letter words.

Now I know all things are relative, and if you look at the way I live my life relative to the way some may live theirs, I probably look like a fool too. I think about this almost everyday, and you have to. No matter what you do in life, no matter how much you achieve, you should never forget that you are a sinner and will always fall short of the glory of God. In the back of your mind you should always remember not to trust yourself and your feelings. You have to do what is right, and this most times doesn't feel right. Yes humility and righteousness are perhaps the 2 things kids nowadays do not have, and this is more than likely the root of their problems. I have to ask myself; am I humble and righteous? Most times no. However the conscience and conviction that God has given me through the Holy Spirit never lets me forget this, and any success I have should be attributed to this fact. Young men should pray that the Lord would do whatever it takes to make them humble because God lifts up the humble but despises the proud.

Perhaps what is most sad is that you see young men in the church behaving as fools. This is where things have got to change. All this wishy washy feel good preaching nowadays just makes fools bigger fools. If you don't get an internal kick in the ass at church every once in awhile, then you're going to the wrong church. Sure the good news is good news, but the good news starts with the news that we are bad, and apparently this message isn't getting through to many people these days. There is no discipline or rebuking anymore, only love. I know of unchristian folk who would probably raise more successful sons and daughters than what some churchy folk are putting out these days. This is because without even knowing God it is apparent that the world is sick with sin and a man has to sweat to make a living, and in the real world this fact is probably more recognized than in churches.

I've said enough on this topic for now... frankly I'm getting a little sick thinking about about it.

Pabst Blue Ribbon

2011-07-01T11:44:00.003-04:00

Thought I'd post this here for those who don't use facebood... Classic.

business sense

2011-06-16T16:44:00.007-04:00

Supposedly people read this blog, I don't know if I believe it though...

We've pretty well got the Deerfield job licked from an office standpoint. I've put together an extensive inventory log for this job that contains a line item for everything down to the last nut. It's about 30 pages of fine print spreadsheets. I've got it set up so the bid cost and purchase costs are compared so we can track our cost overruns. My boss noted that the packet felt good from a weight standpoint. My philosophy is that the more information I can give my boss at one time the better. This way he will not nit pick at things because he's not going to look at something that's 30 pages long.

When we were doing our final presentation for our construction engineering degree at IUPUI, I used the same principle to get an A. I discussed with the guys in my group that the more information we could present to the panel of professionals in a short period of time, the smarter we would look regardless of the time we put into the material. So we put around 40 slides in our power point and spent less than 30 seconds presenting each slide. We made the slides look as organized as possible, with confusing charts and such to give the impression we really knew our stuff. We also agreed that no handouts would be given as information in the judges hands would be incriminating evidence; and since it was optional, not including handouts would not count against our grade. The presentation went flawless. We even had a 70 year old guy (the gray hair helped our image) on our team who spent more than his fair share of the time talking about how we were going to make the phantom project environmentally friendly (he took this very seriously.) We were corruptly gifted enough to smoothly answer any questions thrown our way with confidence and a smile.

After we finished we had the privilege of watching other groups totally botch their presentations. One group in particular, with a bunch of straight A lofty students, who probably spent 10 times longer on the presentation, made themselves look like a bunch of idiots in front of potential employers. They had professionally bound packets made with all their incriminating evidence, and distributed them to the panel of judges. Naturally the judges had their heads in the books during the presentation and when question time came around they hammered the group with detailed questions that the group simply could not answer. After getting red in the face and struggling through the extensive question session, the professor cut the judges off due to time constraints. In the end this group ended up getting a B on the presentation, I think we got 97%....

Must you be corrupt like this in the real world? Well, I wouldn't consider it corruption, it's just manipulating your image. In construction it is a necessity. Every day I have to fight to make sure that Thieneman appears in the right, and the better you are at this the less likely you are to get screwed over. It's a game about trading money through contractual duties, and if you aren't good at striking a bargain you will get run over. So while those in my group in college may not have put as much work into our presentation, I believe we displayed we have better real world skills because we were able to get an A with less work. In the real world this scenario would equate to a company pleasing a customer, and likely scoring another job, all while saving 90% on labor costs. Why do guys like Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump drop out of college? because they're manipulative enough to make millions simply by convincing people they're right.

my leadership style

2011-06-06T00:24:00.009-04:00

Spent the weekend ushering Trenton into the realm of legal consumers... he turned 21.

Not that we did anything particularly crazy but we did have a good enough time of it. It was very nice to see my Cummins again as Trenton has been working on it for the last month. So far he's ripped out quite a few wires and useless components, and the whole package is starting to look very clean. Yeah I really miss having a nice diesel truck, I haven't been without one for 4 years now, I feel like I've been demoted... and in some ways I have.

I have an intern this summer working under me. I find the situation quite pleasing. My intern is a senior who has finished all his class work and this internship is the only thing between him and his career. He pretty much knows enough of what is going on that I can trust him to carry out certain tasks that are critical to my job but take time and are mundane. Other engineers of my standing have their interns simply observe, or assist the guys in the field. This to me sounds like a waste of a precious resource. My intern is hard at work from 7am to 5pm and he gets a lot done, almost more than I do because he has no distractions. So we have been hard at work on the Deerfield WRF, and things are looking pretty good. I will most certainly be sad to see him leave at the end of the summer.

Having someone under me again gets me thinking about leadership skills. Up until I was 19 or 20 I pretty much assumed I simply wasn't born with the personality to be a leader. In round about ways this is what I was told and it made sense. I prefer to stay in the background, I don't care if my voice is heard, and I really don't like going out of my way to be around other people. If we are in a roomful of people I'd likely be the last person to take charge and create an agenda to be actively or socially followed by others. It's not that I am particularly shy, I just find it more amusing to observe other people, and to analyze the situations others put themselves in.

So, people look at individuals like myself and naturally assume we can't be leaders. Likewise, I find myself thinking the same thing about myself. However, after I started my business, and had a successful 4 year run with employees, and now that I see my intern being more utilized than any other intern, I'm assured that I can lead in a somewhat effective manner. Now before I get all high and mighty here let me say that those working under me might not always think of me as a leader at all. I'm not a guy that has a strong arm and a firm sense of direction. In fact, many times the people working for me tell me what to do because they understand the situation better than I do. I'm always asking my intern what his opinion is on something, and I frequently ask him if I can help him. When Trent was working for me I consulted him every single day about critical work decisions. I often wonder if those working for me are annoyed by this or think that I have no idea what I'm doing.

So I guess you could describe my leadership style as an 'along side' style. Just like I would sit back and watch in a roomful of people, I sit back and analyze the work and opinions of those working for me. When someone under my command comes to me and asks what I want him to do I'll throw him a task that matches his aptitude and then I'll leave him alone. I will let him get acquainted with several tasks well enough that he can master them completely on his own. Likely he will become as good or better at these few tasks than I. Since mastery is kin to fulfillment, the employed individual is more positive and productive. Now I've just released a large load off my back, I have a happy employee, there is minimal supervision involved, and most of all I'm ensured that high quality work is being accomplished.

So if you were to go to my office you would find my intern busily working at his desk, and on the other side of the building you find me busily working at my desk. We rarely speak. I remember when Trent and I used to build fences we would almost never speak either. We both knew exactly what tasks we needed to do, it was like a well oiled machine.

My philosophy has always been that a group of people get more done if they are all working on separate tasks. This requires breaking a large tasks into components and creating a cycle of repetition. It's essentially an assembly line. You wouldn't put all the employees of Ford motor company in one room to assemble one car... It would be way too confusing. Time and time again I see people make this mistake when hiring someone. They hire a helper to hand them tools... what could be more pointless? My three year old can hand me tools and he'd do it all day for a piece of candy. Stop treating people like three year olds and get stuff done! Enough said on this topic.

I know those under me probably don't think I appreciate what they do, but I think about it all the time. I notice everything you guys have done and I would simply not be able to function without you all. Given my sin nature I probably take advantage of and don't appreciate what these wonderful people do for me.

Am I a good leader? No, not in the sense that I inspire the masses to better themselves. However, based on historical data, I naturally utilize manpower in an effective manner in a seemingly leaderless fashion.

Office Work

2011-05-05T17:10:00.002-04:00

Beginning last Tuesday, my boss officially pulled me off the East Chicago job so that I could begin full time work on the Deerfield waste plant. He is going to finish the job up himself with the help of another new engineer. I do not envy them at all.

So, I've been in the office for the past week getting up to speed on the Deerfield WRF. The job is rather complicated for several reasons, primarily because we are completely rebuilding an existing plant while it remains in operation. Because of this, work is spread out over a long period of time. This is good to some extent because it keeps the crew size small and manageable, but inconvenient because there is not enough money in the budget to keep me on it for the year and a half it will take to complete the job. So I'm going to have to work on other projects during the duration of Deerfield.

The office is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My office is tucked away in the corner of the building,so I have plenty of solitude. I find myself getting a lot more work done in this environment without the distractions.

I am so relieved to be off the East Chicago Job. That job is crazy... and the worst part was I came in at the peak and never had time to catch up. Things were already behind when I arrived and I just sorta kept things going in survival mode. It's 99% complete now, how it got there I don't really know. I feel I have just as good of a handle on Deerfield with just a week in the office as I ever did in EC. I know what I'm looking at and I know how to build the job efficiently.

So, it looks like I will make the one year mark with Thieneman as this job will get me there. My goal was at least 2 years, and if this job goes off flawless, I might just make it. I really don't want to quit this profession even though I sometimes hate it. Once you become a good project engineer, you can go anywhere and build some of the coolest structures in the world.

stuff

2011-04-18T20:13:00.000-04:00

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve left behind any significant information on the internet. I guess this could be a result of my general dissatisfaction with the narrative quality I’m capable of producing lately. It’s an interesting scenario here with my general lack of free time and inspiration due to stressful, unfulfilling hours spent building large and complicated systems. It would take far too long and expose too much information to explain how things at work flow in such a way to drain all the energy and inspiration from a guy like myself. Sometimes I would rather just be poor and carefree, but that’s not necessarily the mature response to responsibility. I often question myself if such an environment that modern conveniences have required is even righteous and good. I haven’t come up with an answer, but I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with technological advances and ‘mega-construction’. There can be but there doesn’t have to be. However, the culture and environment is generally greed based and production driven, mostly lifeless. I think it’s this environment that offends me the most, not necessarily what we build or how we build it.

Anyways, we moved into our new house and are growing accustomed to the large space. There are several advantages and disadvantages to our home situation.

The advantage list is large from a practical standpoint.

a. The financial scenario couldn’t be much better. (as explained in a previous post)

b. There is a large front porch which easily accommodates relaxation for multiple personnel

c. Downtown is so close it’s practically in the back yard. This means the library, multiple pizza joints, shopping, several coffee shops, and a host of restaurants are only a short walk away. This is a very interesting concept and I actually like it. It’s like living in one of those tourist towns all the time.

This disadvantage list is more personal.

a. I really don’t like being tied down to one location…

b. There is a house outside every window.

c. No land, hard for someone like myself who recharges on beautiful views

d. There’s not room enough to be a redneck

Anyways, I’m here so I’m here. I’ll try to make the most of the situation and move on when the time is right. We have friendly neighbors and live in a very nice community.

The good stuff

2011-03-02T20:29:00.006-05:00

I know that I spend a lot of time speaking of the stress of my job, and sometimes I even question if it's worth the headache. Well there are a few good reasons why I haven't quit yet.

First of all this is a great place to break into the professional world. Our company is young and growing, and gives us enough responsibility that we wouldn't otherwise have. With the amount of stuff I will be able to put on my resume, in a couple years I'll be way farther along than the competition.

Secondly I came to the right place at the right time. As much as a headache this job has been it will all pay off. When I arrived here the job had been through 2 engineers and 1 superintendent. I have no idea why they would put a completely inexperienced guy, fresh out of college, on one of the company's highest profile jobs and let him run it to completion. This is a very risky business move but it was done. So as we near the 4 week substantial completion date the scenario is playing out as follows: I come on a job that was poorly managed, was heading in a seriously bad direction, and somehow we wind up completing the job making well over bid profit. In this economic climate making money is extremely difficult, and what we make on this job will be a substantial portion of our total profits. I would far overstep the arrogance line if I were to say that I had much to do with this job making more than projected. However, its going to happen and I an lucky enough to be at the helm right now. I could think of multiple ways to fabricate this story and make myself sound like a hero, which is very very valuable in a professional sense.

Thirdly, and having to do with the second point, this job is big. I've had multiple people tell me, including the president and vice pres. of the company on different occasions, that few men ever get on a job this big in their lifetimes. Not only is this trial by fire good for my resume, it also prepares me for anything else that will get thrown my way.

This leads to the fourth point. I've always been a shy reserved guy. This job has made me get that out of my system. After having to make 40 phone calls a day, and boss around people twice my age, I've pretty much come out of my shell. I've learned how to function in a professional environment and get what I want. I've learned to take a stand when people try to take advantage of me. I've also struggled with being organized and detailed in the past. Now I find myself taking a much more logical approach to problems. So this job is improving me as a person.

So, even though I dislike some aspects of my job, and have been very uncomfortable at times, I'm blessed to be here. In a few more years I'll probably look back and smile at this experience, and thank God for not caring if He made me uncomfortable.

stress explanation

2011-02-24T08:20:00.005-05:00

The past weeks have been very stressful at work. We are getting close to substantial completion on our job and many things are coming to a head.

It's really hard to explain the stress that accompanies my job. It's not so much the long hours and the tedious office work, but more the liability and financial risks I'm responsible for. The way our company is set up, and many other small commercial construction companies, is we have a good size office staff that knows nothing of what goes on at the job, then there's project engineers who are responsible for actually making the money. Our bosses look at the job only from a distance and expect us to be able to keep things under control. So when it comes down to it, the whole company makes their profit from our direct decisions. We are at the bottom of the totem pole but are generals in the front lines of the battle. Unless things are going perfectly, and in construction this is rarely the case, no one in the company is going to be very happy with you. Sometimes I feel like a criminal in the office because everyone knows you hold the key to profit and their bonuses. I could easily handle the stress of running to project, but it's the factor of being in the financial hot seat that makes things more stressful.

The blame also generally goes to the project engineer for anything that goes wrong on a project. If for example a laborer does something wrong then its my fault for not directing him properly. He goes home and sleeps well while I go home dealing with nausea after being chewed out.

Another important stress factor is the lack of structure. Unless you staff the heck out of a job, there's going to be so many issues unchecked that you will lose money. We are lightly staffed in field supervision. In our field a job is like it's own business. You set it up, get things running smooth (hopefully) then it's over and you start again. There's never a point where things run smooth for a long period of time. In manufacturing you can develop a system that works for the long haul, whereas no system we do can last very long seeing as how the scenario changes daily. Since the jobs aren't staffed as well as they could be, we usually end up just taking the hits as they come without pre-planning as we otherwise could.

I'm not saying my company is any different than any other, in fact most are run the same way. Only the mammoth companies have the budget to staff a job so there's no surprise. The disadvantage of a large company is that you are just a number, and they have absolutely no respect for you as a person. At least those in my company know who I am and make an effort to respect my personal life.

Anyways, I'm trying to find a balance before I completely loose my head.

New House

2011-02-08T08:41:00.002-05:00

Made an offer on a house in Valparaiso and it was accepted. The house will be like a mansion to us with 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. The largest house we've ever lived in had only 2 bedrooms and 1 bath, so this will be a huge improvement. In accordance with my plan, we found a house that was foreclosed on and needs a little work. Thankfully, this house has only cosmetic blemishes, all the utilities are updated. At $75k I feel like I practically stole the house. I figure if I pay it off in 7 years, updating it along the way so it's value nears 200k, and rent it out for 20 years at $1500/month. I would end up making over 400k on a 75k investment. That's over a 16% return on my investment every single year... Try getting that out of a bank, or even the stock market. Or, I could buy a $250k house now, barely afford the payments, and end up paying over $500k over the course of the next 30 years. I could either live in a place that doesn't quite meet my perfection standards (it has no land) for a few years, and make $400k, or get stuck in the same place and spend $250k. hmmm, the choice is clear to me.

Anyways, we haven't closed yet so it's not set in stone, but it's looking like we'll be moving again this March.

blizzard

2011-02-01T13:43:00.005-05:00

Looks like we're in for a few feet of snow. Work will be performed from home tomorrow as the job will be shut down.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the coldest and snowiest winters. Granted I live a few hours north of where I've lived before, but I don't think those 2 hours make up for the increased severity I see this year. I've never seen the ground froze so thick. We've got at least 2 foot of frozen ground everywhere and have only had 1 warm up since the beginning of December. I've never seen it frozen deeper than 1 foot since I've been doing underground work. There isn't a single day in the 10 day forecast with highs over 30 degrees. We've got a lot we need to backfill but yesterday we made the decision that it's too frozen to do anything until our stockpiles thaw. We really should be getting temperatures above freezing (34+) everyday according to the average highs.

Anyways, I'm tired of winter and ready for the thaw.

1-25

2011-01-25T10:06:00.003-05:00

Yesterday the guys whacked an 8" water main while digging our last stretch of duct bank. Our trench filled up within a few minutes and began flooding into the street. We closed the valve nearest to the line and threw 5 pumps in the trench. The pumps couldn't keep up because the line looped and needed to be shut off in another spot in order to completely stop the flow. It took us until 2pm to get the city to show us where the other valve was. We never would have found it since there's snow everywhere. We repaired the line this morning and will continue with the work we should have been doing yesterday. Needless to say it was a wasted day yesterday.

I Ride Again

2011-01-24T08:16:00.002-05:00

I went snowboarding or the first time in 3 years last weekend. Trent and I made a last minute decision to go while we were at a family gathering in Rockford. Unfortunately I had to use rental equipment and I borrowed a snowsuit from the 80's. Despite the unfavorable equipment situation, I had a good time. I'm definitely out of shape and I am a around 30-40 pounds heavier than I was last time. We spent about half the time in the pipe, and I think I'm addicted. I feel the need to go back and ride the pipe all day long. The half pipe takes a long time to master, and it requires a lot of thought and planning. I also feel like it is a lot safer than other forms of getting air because the falls are generally down the wall. Anyways, Trent and I may just have to go on another boarding trip soon.

1-20

2011-01-20T08:55:00.003-05:00

Work is moving along here at East Chicago. We have most of our underground work complete and we are starting to punch list things out. Work in the main building is almost complete, and we're mobilizing in the pump station.

I've released and received the first shipment of metal for my hydraulic auger. I have the material for the tank frame, riser supports, and the aluminum ntp couplings to weld into the tank. I'm going to put as few aluminum components in the system as possible, only what is necessary to keep from welding dissimilar metals. I over sized the couplings so that the thermal expansion difference of the aluminum to steel connection will be minimized, and so the pressure will be reduced at that point. I have 1" couplings for a 3/4" system and will insert a 1" x 3/4" NTP brass reducing bushing in the coupling. Technically the system could run on 1/2" pipe, but I'm going to keep it 3/4" up to the valve/motor. Bigger means less stress. I'm a little nervous about the tig welding process, but I want quality welds. I'm thinking I will run a pressure test on everything I weld to ensure quality before running 2000psi hydraulic fluid... which could kill someone. I've also got to figure out how to precisely cut the aluminum. I have a chop saw on site but it doesn't have angle designations I'm thinking I'll clamp it on a stand and use an angle finder. At $60 a piece I don't want to make any mistakes.

another day

2011-01-18T08:04:00.004-05:00

Another day at the grind.

Alyssa and I have been looking for houses recently as we are planning to move into our own house by March. We've been juggling around several ideas as what the best course of action may be, whether we should buy a fixer upper, or something decent. After looking at several houses I think we've decided a fixer is the best course of action. If I bought something for under 100k, I could pay it off in 5 years or so, and in the process possibly double it's value. Then when it comes time to move again I'll have 200k in assets to put towards my next home. If I went right out and bought a 200k home, the payments would be so high I likely couldn't pay it off for 10-20 years. It would essentially put me 10 years behind financially. I plan on spending the last half of my life on a ranch in the beautiful west raising cattle, so careful financial planning is a must.

Yeah it's hard growing accustom to the cold environment here at work. I've said it before, there really are no true friends to be had in this business. You must assume everyone has a knife in hand ready to stab you in the back. I've been instructed to keep to myself and not make any friends or develop relationships with people I work with in the field, it makes it easier to do business, or stab them.

tommy boy

2011-01-02T08:59:00.003-05:00

The other day I was showing Trenton some work I had done on my truck and apparently the hood didn't latch right on my truck. It stayed down long enough for me to get up to 50-60mph, at which point it became subject to the updraft wind forces. Needless to say it flew up rather quickly. After pulling over and coming to a complete stop it was apparent my hood was toasted. Thankfully it did no damage to my windshield, or any other part of my truck, but it is bent so bad out of shape its nothing but scrap metal now.

My new hood is on its way. I found one in Arizona at Death Valley Auto Parts, and in a week or so my truck will be complete again (except the color will likely not match.)

This incident actually happened like three weeks ago...