Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County, Texas

Getting Started in a New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 23:09:00 +0000

Deciding to Wait

You may be one of the many people who want to get divorced near the end of the year, but you just don't want to mess up the holidays. A common solution is to put your thoughts and concerns aside until January. Then you are ready and anxious to file for the divorce.

What should you expect?

1. A slow process. Even though you have now had plenty of time to plan what, when and how you want to do, you will run into the court system. You can count on it being slow. There's a 60-day waiting period built into the system. And now, the courts move even slower than before. There's a huge backlog in most courts because the courts were shut down for a while and then started up slowly. It often takes a long time to get into court for a contested hearing.

What can you do about it?

2. Come to agreements. It's easy for me to say, but that's your best answer. Mediation is required for almost any case nowadays. As a mediator, I'm a little biased for it, but it works.

Without the formality of mediation, motivated people can work out final agreements by informal settlement conferences, attorney negotiations or just the parties talking directly (and respectfully!). Settlement conferences can happen at the courthouse or at one of the attorneys' offices. Attorneys talk all the time and with cooperative clients can come to agreements. You and your spouse talking without the attorneys present is a little trickier -- you both have to be on your best behavior.

Despite the difficulties, people do come to agreements. It may take while, but it will still be quicker than going to court.

3. The best way to reach agreement? You can do a lot of research and hope you figure out the right answers. Or, you can hire an attorney and follow the attorney's advice. Every case is different, no matter what your friends, relatives or others tell you. You need to work with an experienced attorney who can help you choose the best possible outcomes and the strategies to reach them. Going to court is just not the best answer. Talk to your attorney!

Before you jump into the divorce process, it's best to hire an attorney to help you. Good luck!

Expect More Delays from the Pandemic

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 21:38:00 +0000

I just heard that the State Fair of Texas has been cancelled this year. That's the first time since WWII. The cancellation is a pretty big deal.

This cancellation is a clear indication that there is no expectation of the pandemic ending anytime soon. The State Fair run ends near the end of October. Obviously, the expectation is that the pandemic will still be strong then.

The reason I mention all that is to remind people that the courts will be mostly operating remotely through the Fall, and probably into next Spring or even Summer.  Remote hearings are an awkward way of resolving legal disputes.

If you want a faster and more personalized way to settle divorce or other family law issues, you should seriously consider trying Collaborative Law. You will need two trained Collaborative attorneys, one for each party; not all attorneys are trained or interested in doing Collaborative cases. It is a different skill set and some people don't want to change or try something new.

Caution:  If you interview an attorney and the attorney tries to talk you out of using Collaborative, please do yourself a favor and get a second opinion from a trained and experienced Collaborative attorney. The first attorney probably doesn't really handle Collaborative cases.

Good luck and stay safe!

You Can Choose How to Respond

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 20:01:00 +0000

Issues Don't Wait
Unfortunately, family issues don't wait to pop up only at the most convenient times. Many people are having marital problems while the coronavirus is going stronger than ever. (That's not a political statement -- it's just statistics.)

Difficult Factors
Marriages are being affected by the sudden downturn in the economy, the layoffs, school being cancelled, people staying home more and restaurants and other businesses being closed. Suddenly, our lives are different in many ways. Some marriages are not strong enough to withstand the changing conditions.

Just like with the virus, you have some choices on how to respond to marital issues.

You can ignore it and hope it goes away.
You can isolate yourself and maybe your family.
You can read up on it and try to treat your own problems/ resolve your marital issues.
You can wear a mask and be extra careful -- like counseling for the marriage.
You can go to the doctor (or lawyer) for treatment and help.

There are a number of escalating steps you can follow, depending on how much effort you want to invest. To some extent, you can choose how to respond, but sometimes, things get out of control.

Here’s the Important Message – Start with the Experts
My suggestion: get the expert help immediately so you can rationally decide which path to take. Rely on the knowledge and experience of your professionals. Get the best medical help you can find and get the most knowledgeable and experienced attorney for advice on how to deal with your marital issues.

Good luck.

Expect Delays at Court -- What Can You Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Fri, 01 May 2020 21:29:00 +0000

Courts Shut Down
For at least the next four months, and likely longer, the Family Law courts are going to be backed up everywhere. In Texas, our courts statewide have been shut down since about the middle of March. They may re-open June 1, 2020, but it could be later.

Backlog of Cases
When the courts finally re-open, there will be a rush to the courthouse. By then, there will have been about 2 1/2 months of no court. Most of the issues don't go away. At best, a bandaid is devised with the idea that the issue will be resolved later.

Greater Number of Cases
You should expect a big log jam of cases on June 1. We will have the 2 1/2 months worth of cases, plus new cases starting up. On top of that, we may have a larger volume of cases being filed as the Covid-19 quarantine may have been too much closeness and stress for some marriages to continue.

What Can You Do?
1. You can wait in line to be heard. That could take weeks or a month or two instead of the usual days. If your issue isn't too urgent, waiting won't hurt. If there is urgency, you could have a hard time.

2. You and your attorney can negotiate. In the old days, that's the way a lot of cases were resolved. It may be an attractive choice so you can get some decisions made, but you don't get your day in court to be heard by a judge (if that matters to you).

3. You can try mediation. Although mediation most often occurs closer to the final trial date, there's nothing wrong with using mediation to work out temporary orders, final orders and even other disputes. In Tarrant County, we have a strong group of mediators, including some former judges, who would be available to mediate.

A Final Thought:
Maybe you should consider the Collaborative process. It's not for just the easy or agreeable cases. It's an excellent approach for resolving all divorce issues, including temporary matters.
You can always switch to Collaborative, if you have a trained Collaborative lawyer. Better yet, start the case in the Collaborative mode.

Would a Therapist Help?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Wed, 01 Apr 2020 16:10:00 +0000

Disclaimer (naturally, I'm a lawyer): This is not intended to be counseling or therapy for your situation. It is information for you to consider if you are facing a divorce.

The end of a marriage (or other relationship) can be one of the toughest events anyone has to go through. Dreams end. Plans change. You lose friends and connections.Feelings of failure often surface. Doubts start to dominate.

If can all be pretty overwhelming.

Most people initially believe they can handle the situation. They talk with friends and family. They self medicate. Many bury themselves in their work. Some just try to ignore the situation.

For many, there's a better alternative: counseling. You don't have to be crazy to benefit from counseling. There are all types of counselors around. You just need to find one with whom you are comfortable.

If any of the following is happening to you, it would be a good idea to meet with a counselor. This is not a complete list of all possible reasons to see a counselor. These are common situations that warrant attention. You may have other reasons that warrant counseling, so please be open to that.

1. You may have strong anger toward your ex because of the breakup. The anger may start to affect your life. Your relationships with other people may suffer and your ability to work could be impaired. If your anger controls your life and behavior, you should seek relief through counseling.

2. It may be that you can't stop thinking about the breakup. It dominates your thoughts. You may not be able to focus on anything else. That interferes with your life, work and friendships. You need to find peace and balance.

3. You may start to feel physically ill. Stress can cause headaches or stomach issues. You may start feeling constantly tired. Before your health starts to seriously suffer, please talk to a therapist.

4. You may lose interest in your close friends and favorite activities. Not being able to enjoy life is a signal that you need help. If you are at this point, it's probably not something you can just work through yourself.

5. If your family or friends start talking to you about their concerns for you, it may be time to seek help. Family and friends can be more objective than we are sometimes. They may notice if:

You seem depressed.

Your drinking has increased.

There's drug use or it has changed.

You seem disconnected from your family or circle of friends.

You show a lot of anger.

They observe other behavioral changes.

If any of the above circumstances may be occurring, please meet with a counselor to see if there's some help you can get. It doesn't mean you are crazy or weak or a failure. It means that you're smart and you care. Please take care of yourself!

Why You Need a Lawyer for Mediation

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sun, 01 Mar 2020 17:42:00 +0000

Mediation is a great process for resolving disputes. I am a mediator and an advocate for it. However, I strongly believe mediation works better with attorneys involved.

My comments are applicable to mediations in Texas which are usually done as a day or half-day event, usually with attorneys for each party. In family law cases, it is usually done where the two sides sit in separate rooms, each with their own attorney. The mediator goes back and forth from room to room, asking questions and conveying information and proposals.

Here are some ways attorneys can be very beneficial to their clients in the process.

Preparation

There are a number of things your attorney can do to help you prepare for mediation.

Gather the documents you need.
Prepare charts or exhibits to help your case.
Review information from the other side.
Plan strategy.
Explain the issues for you.
Explain procedures in mediation and in your case.
Discuss the legal context with you.
Discuss and develop possible outcomes.

During Mediation

Mediation is a slow-moving process, with lots of time for thinking, discussion and just plain waiting. During the down times, when the mediator is not with you, your attorney can be doing things to help you.

Reassure you if you start thinking the mediator is on your spouse's side (a common feeling). That often comes up when the mediator spends a lot of time with the other side, but it's never the case because the mediator remains neutral. Sometimes it's just hard to get someone to make a decision, as you may know from experience.
Remind you that the mediator is just playing the devil's advocate when he/she asks you a lot of questions about your position, your proposal or the facts. The mediator will not take sides, but will challenge both sides with questions.
Help you with ideas and new possibilities for settlement, or new ways to view the situation.
Watch out for unexpected consequences for you.
Remind you of your most important goals and needs. It's easy to get caught up in emotions or conflict in mediation. Remember, you are there to settle and end the litigation!

The Agreement

When mediation is successful in reaching agreement, the next (equally difficult) step is to agree on the wording of the Mediated Settlement Agreement which will be binding on everyone once it is signed. There is no standard Mediated Settlement Agreement. A new one must be created for each case.

Keep in mind, no matter what was discussed or noted, this document controls. Prior discussions or wording have no effect unless they are explicitly included in the Agreement.
The Agreement must be very precise and you must be careful to make sure everything is included and correctly stated. You can't go back later and change or correct things.
Your attorney should explain the wording and the Agreement to you to make sure you understand it and really agree. The attorney should make sure to check on whether you are assuming anything that is not included in the Agreement.

Why is All This Important?

Mediation is required for almost all family law cases in Texas before they can go to trial. Most mediations are successful. Even if they don't settle on the mediation date, a significant number will later settle before trial. Almost no cases go to trial. Therefore, it makes sense to take the process seriously and take advantage of the opportunity to save time and money through settlement!

Social Security -- Your Safety Net?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 00:01:00 +0000

Don't Ignore Social Security
While there often seems to be talk about cutting back on Social Security, it seems pretty clear that it will be around for a while. If you are 55 years old or older, you have a good chance of collecting under the program. Even if you are younger, there's still a good chance that you will receive payments.

I won't get into a discussion of whether it is good or bad or undependable. For now, it's a fact of life and we are all (or most of us) are under its umbrella. It's not really likely to run out of money unless someone takes a drastic step to terminate it, which feels very unlikely.

Income for the Retirement Years
The point of bringing up Social Security is that it is an often overlooked source of income later in life. "Gray divorces" are becoming more common as Baby Boomers are getting divorced later in life.

A big part of the focus in gray divorces is the retirement years. If one or both of the parties have not retired by the time of the divorce, there's still time to add to retirement funds. Otherwise, the parties just have to split a set pot of money for retirement.

Financial Planning
That's where a financial planner can come in handy. A good planner can help you decide on a mix of assets and Social Security to take you through the retirement years. You may need to generate new income to cover your expenses. That should be coordinated with your decisions on when to start Social Security and whether you are eligible to draw on your spouse's earnings record.

Divorce Financial Planning
If you go into litigation for a divorce, instead of having a Collaborative Divorce, your options are a little more limited. Courts typically just mechanically divide the assets on the table. In Collaborative, we work with a divorce financial planner who usually helps you plan a future cash flow. Then you can be smarter in negotiating the asset and debt division.

Using Social Security for the Maximum Benefit
With the Collaborative process, you can incorporate more planning for the future, including getting the best possible revenue from Social Security. Postponing the start of drawing Social Security will result in a higher payment each month. Sometimes the big issue is how to get from here to 70 years old so you can start drawing at the maximum level.

If you are in the "gray area", talk to your attorney about using Collaborative Law to work out the terms of the divorce. If the attorney doesn't do Collaborative or recommends against it, you should get a second opinion.

Find an attorney you are comfortable with who has substantial experience with Collaborative Law so you can be guided through the process. It's your divorce and you should be able to choose the process most beneficial to you. Good Luck!

Is It Too Soon to Start on a Divorce!

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Wed, 01 Jan 2020 22:47:00 +0000

This is written for January 1st since January is a busy month for people deciding to file for divorce. Many people put off the decision until after the holidays and that's usually a good thing. There's time for second thoughts and it means that the holidays don't get overwhelmed by divorce conflict.

Of course, the holidays don't mean there's a complete "time out". Conflicts continue, but the escalation from litigation is postponed.

However, sooner or later, the question becomes -- is it the right time for you to start the divorce? To make that decision, consider the following:

1. What are the problems?

2. Are they long-term problems or a recent issue?

3. Have you tried counseling?

4. How does your spouse feel about divorce?

5. Are you prepared financially?
   a. Do you have cash savings?
   b. Do you and your spouse have your own incomes?
   c. Do you have a place to live after separation?

6. Are you capable of managing your finances?

7. Are you prepared for your spouse's reaction?

8. Are there kids? Would they be fought over?

9. What do you have to gain?

10. What do you have to lose?

These are questions that you must think about and answer. If you are leaning toward filing for divorce, please meet with an attorney or attorneys. You need to get professional help for the serious issues that come up in a divorce. You can discuss all these issues with your attorney so you are as prepared as can be for the divorce. Good luck.

Are You Really Saving Money by Not Hiring an Attorney?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sun, 01 Dec 2019 15:53:00 +0000

Sometimes there are good reasons to not spend money. Maybe you don't have much money available. Maybe you are worried about the total commitment once you start spending. Maybe you think it is unnecessary to spend the money.

For important matters, the reasons to spend should outweigh the reasons to not spend. That's not always the case, however.

If you are facing a divorce or other legal issue, the possible outcomes are so serious you should usually go with the option to hire an attorney for help.

In weighing things to make that decision, maybe you should consider, "what can go wrong" if you don't work with an attorney. Let me list a few ways.

1. Your Petition could omit an important issue. It might be retirement, real estate or separate property. Those can be significant factors and could cost you a lot of money.

2. The Decree could omit something. It might be payment of medical bills, support start dates, assets or many other things.

3. You might give up more than you should. You might divide your separate property. You could agree something is your spouse's separate property when you don't need to. You might give up retirement earned before or after the marriage, and that's not necessary.

4. You might trigger tax consequences you did not expect.

5. You could lose your homestead rights if the real estate is not handled correctly.

6. Alimony might be omitted even when it is needed and justified or you might pay too much for the circumstances.

7. You might not get a proper order dividing the retirement accounts.

8. In negotiating, you might cut off the community estate too soon and lose out on property.

9. You might end up negotiating without sufficient knowledge of the facts, possibilities and common terms for settlement.

10. Negotiations could turn into a protracted battle with your spouse, a very unpleasant and unproductive situation for you and your spouse.

These are common situations for people representing themselves. They are also very avoidable. These are matters that could impact the rest of your life, including your retirement years. Wouldn't you hate to look back later and wish you had worked with a lawyer to get a better deal?

This is not like the old commercial with the tag line, "Pay me now or pay me later". Here, it's closer to "Pay now or lose out forever.". You can't undo the property division terms of the divorce decree.

You need to do it right the first time. On legal matters, you should consult with an experienced attorney to learn the issues and plan your strategy for the best possible outcome.

I Don't Want to Use Mediation!

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Tue, 01 Oct 2019 21:33:00 +0000

Both kids and adults usually don't like to be forced to do something they don't want to do. If you're an adult dealing with children, you know sometimes you need to force the children to do things that really are beneficial for the children.

That happens all the time for adults going through divorce. Your attorney or the court or the other attorney may tell you that you have to do certain things you don't really want to do.

Sometimes, one of those things is attending medication. There are many objections, such as the cost, taking time off work or you "know" it won't work. But those objections are easily overruled by a court system that now favors mediation as an intermediate step before going to trial.

The simple answer is that you usually have to do mediation regardless of your preferences, but there is some good news. The process usually works.

Here are some benefits of using mediation:

1. It's faster than waiting for a trial date. Mediation can usually be scheduled within 1-2 months. Trials are usually set 6-9 months out.

2. It's usually cheaper than a trial. It takes a whole lot less time to prepare for a mediation than to prepare for a trial. That translates into a big savings for you.

3. You get to make the decision. When you and the other party reach an agreement, that becomes the final agreement. If you go to court, you turn over all the decision making to the judge who may or may not like you and your ideas. Most people prefer to make their own decisions.

4. Privacy. Many people prefer to keep their private business, including finances, out of the public view. Mediation is confidential and done in privacy, usually away from the courthouse. Trials are open to the public and you never know who may show up.

5. Informality. Because mediation takes place at someone's office, things can be a lot more casual. You also don't have to jump through hoops to introduce evidence. You tell or show the mediator anything. Everyone is a lot more comfortable meeting informally with the mediator, rather than following standard courtroom and evidence procedures.

Most attorneys understand that mediation usually settles cases and that it is good for their clients. Talk to your attorney if you have doubts or if you're just in a hurry to get to court. Mediation is the better path in most cases.

Don't Rely on What You Hear

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 16:23:00 +0000

When people start thinking about divorce, they often talk with family and friends to get information about it. Naturally, they look to people who have had divorce experience or know someone who has. That is often a mistake.

Briefly, this is why it is a mistake to rely on what people tell you.

1. Every case is different. This cannot be overemphasized. Normally we only get part of the story from someone else. Some facts are forgotten. The legal issues may have been different. The history between the parties may be different from yours. The attorneys may have chosen to focus on or ignore certain legal issues. The way people get along with each other and other people is probably different. The goals and needs of the parties will be different. This list could go on and on.

2. People sometimes get the facts mixed up. Probably unintentionally, but still a problem. The more times a story is told, the more it changes.

3. Often people are basing their opinions on the law from other states. Believe it or not, laws are different in each of the states. Many times people suggest a course of action that is totally inappropriate in Texas. That happens with research online.

So, what can a person do? Simple. Talk to an experienced attorney. If it's a divorce case, talk to a divorce lawyer. If it's a criminal case, see a criminal lawyer. If it's a probate matter, go see a probate lawyer.

The common element is: go talk to a lawyer for important legal issues. Don't gather your information informally and start off on your own. Talk to an experienced lawyer for your issues and take the advice. You will come out ahead.

Misconceptions about Mediation without Attorneys

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 21:47:00 +0000

In talking about options with prospective clients, I have discovered a number of misconceptions relating to how mediation works. Many people become interested thinking they can settle a divorce and don't have to pay attorneys. Unfortunately, that is not always a great bargain when people make uninformed, bad decisions for themselves.

Working with an attorney in some capacity can help avoid or minimize problems. You can hire an attorney and have him/her represent you throughout the divorce process. You can consult with an attorney prior to mediation, or you can hire an attorney to be with you just for the mediation.

As you are deciding whether to hire an attorney, let me point out some common misconceptions I have heard about how mediation supposedly works.

1. The mediator will listen to both of you and then recommend terms for a settlement. No. The mediator must remain neutral. Making those decisions for you and your spouse would violate impartiality and lead to the mediator siding with one of you on some issues. You have to make your own proposals.

2. There's little or no preparation to be done. Actually, there's often a lot of preparation that is needed. You should gather documents, prepare charts and exhibits and outline the issues and your proposals. You need to have a clear picture in mind for what you want to end up with.

3. The mediator will make sure you don't make any bad decisions or bad agreements. Wrong. The mediator cannot be neutral if he/she is advising you or your spouse to accept or reject a proposal. I have seen a number of bad decisions come from mediations where attorneys did not participate.

4. The mediator can prepare the paperwork. No. Again, the mediator must be neutral. Judgment calls must be made numerous times in preparing paperwork for a divorce, and that would violate neutrality.

5. You can change your mind later after you have agreed. Wrong. Once the agreement is written and signed by the parties, assuming it also contains the statutory warning that the agreement is binding, then the agreement is binding.

6. You won't be surprised by facts, issues or proposals during the process. No, it happens all the time. With an attorney, you will have an opportunity to respond effectively.

7. The mediator will make sure you don't overlook something. They cannot take on that role and remain neutral.

Bottom Line: The 7 statements above are false assumptions made by many parties who try mediation without an attorney's help. Your divorce will have enough financial and family significance that you should hire an attorney so you can settle your case under the best terms for you.

How Fast Can We Finish a Divorce?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Wed, 03 Apr 2019 01:48:00 +0000

Some people come to see me and they are in a big hurry to be divorced. Sometimes, both spouses are at that point. More often, it's just one spouse and that can lead to problems (= slower divorce).

Here's the starting point.

There's a 60-day waiting period required by the Texas Family Code. It begins the day after the Petition for Divorce is filed. That's day one.

You count the next 60 days, including weekends and holidays.

You cannot get divorced until at least the 61st day after the filing.

Another disappointment for some people:

The divorce is not automatically granted on the 61st day.

To get the divorce granted, you normally must appear in Court with your attorney and the proper paperwork. Your attorney will tell what he or she needs from you and will prepare the documents needed.

If you are trying to get your own divorce without an attorney, you can do it, but it will take longer. Please contact the Court Clerk for instructions on setting a Court date.

All of the above is about how fast you can be divorced. In a normal case, it will take longer than 61 days. Please talk to your attorney to find out if you can either speed up or slow down your divorce.

Bonus Tip: If you are in a hurry to be divorced, please tell your attorney when you first talk to him or her. Then you can talk about a realistic timetable.

When Not to "Do It Yourself"

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 02:52:00 +0000

You may have friends who did their own divorce. You figure, if they could do it, so can you.

Or you may think you don't have much, so why hire an attorney?

Maybe you don't like attorneys.

Maybe you don't have a lot of money to spend on attorneys.

Or you have researched online and discovered forms. You're pretty sure you can do your own paperwork and handle your own divorce for next-to-nothing.

Maybe, maybe not. While I am a divorce attorney and probably have a bias, I can tell you I discourage a number of possible clients from hiring me. I always want to be sure that the parties have tried (with professional help) to work things out. I also don't want someone to hire me if it will cause a financial strain.

Should you hire an attorney? I would say yes, if any of the following are true in your case.

1. There is a disagreement on how to share time with the kids. Or, where they should live or go to school. This issue takes people to the courthouse.

2. There are retirement assets to divide. It can be very complicated and someone may lose out on a lot of future income when they really need it. Plus, some people may not even realize what they are entitled to.

3. If there is a house and you have to figure out how to handle some house issues:

a. Who gets it?
b. How much should each party get from the house?
c. Can you get 1 name off the deed and mortgage?
d. Does the house need to be sold?
e. How to pay off the party leaving the house.

4. If someone wants or needs alimony. How much can they get and for how long? Can a spouse avoid having to pay alimony?

5. You can't agree on the amount of child support to be paid or the non-custodial parent wants to pay no child support.

6. You can't agree on how to divide the debt.

7. One party fears for his or her safety.

If any of these issues exist in your divorce situation, you should not try to get your divorce without the help of an experienced Family Law attorney. These are not simple issues and they can have a major impact on the rest of your life.

Preparing for the Holidays with the Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 17:07:00 +0000

In Texas, most divorce court orders have very detailed and explicit plans for how holiday time with the children is divided between the parents. The standard language has been developed over time and is based on common problems and the best solutions that had been developed over the years.

Some of the provisions are a little unwieldy -- not surprising since they came out of the legal system. Still, they provide a good standard for people to consider. Keep in mind that almost every possession schedule order says that the parties can follow any plan they come up with, as long as they agree. The formal order is the backup in case they are not in agreement.

What should you do if you anticipate a possible issue?

1. You need to start now. The holidays are approaching. In November, we have anywhere from 2 or 3 days off to 10 days off from school and sometimes work. The standard order allows each parent to have Thanksgiving every other other year. In December, in addition to various family gatherings, we have an extended time off from school that extends into January. Families have different traditions and preferences regarding the holidays and usually can make accommodations that work for both parents. Usually the December vacation time is split approximately in half.

2. Situations change. As time passes, circumstances change. There are new marriages, moves, new jobs, new kids and kids may age out -- moving out for college or work or relationships. These changes, or even new events, create a need to sometimes modify what has worked in the past. The first of November is a great time to look ahead and do some planning if you see the possible need to adjust the possession times for the holidays.

3. Time to consult. This is a good time to meet with your attorney if you anticipate you or your ex needing to make some changes in the holiday schedules. You can get an interpretation of the current order and plan how to approach your ex or how to respond if your ex approaches you. It is so much better to deal with these issues early in November than to wait until Thanksgiving week or the week the kids get out of school in December.

Holidays are emotional times. Everyone, especially including the kids, will benefit by the parents planning ahead and working together to make any necessary adjustments.

A Fresh Start

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 16:51:00 +0000

There are a lot of difficult and unpleasant aspects to divorce. How's that for an understatement?

But, you can work to make something positive about divorce. In any marriage, there are positives and negatives. During a divorce, the negatives become the focus and it's often hard to see anything good coming out of it.

The longer you stay in the negatives, the more depressing a divorce can become. The solution is to shift gears and change your focus, which is often easier said than done.

Here are three little tips to help you start your divorce and post-divorce life in a better direction.

1. Remember what went well during your marriage. Sometimes, it's hard to remember anything positive, but you should be able to with a little effort. Maybe there were some fun family events or travel, or maybe you learned some fun or useful skills. Maybe you helped someone else. Whatever it was, it will help you now to focus on those good times rather than the bad aspects of your relationship. Acknowledging your successes will help reinforce your confidence that you can do good things with your life.

2. Make a few goals. You can improve your focus by planning for the next year, two or three years or five years. If you have difficulty with that much time, plan the next 30, 60 or 90 days. Make some plans and have something positive to work on that you will enjoy and which you can look forward to. The planning can help you change your attention away from the negativity of a divorce.

3. Be optimistic. Work on changing your expectations. Instead of thinking of all the bad things that can happen, start thinking about the good things that can come your way. You will see a lot more happy things if you are looking for them. Also, don't hang around with or talk to friends who constantly focus on how bad things are. I'm not suggesting you ignore reality, but I am suggesting you should put most of your attention on good things that are happening or which can happen. It will help make your life happier!

Going through a divorce makes you start over in many ways. You can choose a lot about your outcome in the divorce. Make it a positive, fresh start!

Why Does Mediation Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sun, 01 Apr 2018 21:23:00 +0000

In almost every family law case in Tarrant County, TX, and many other places, the Court will require the parties to attend mediation before they can go to trial.

Mediation, as you may know, is a dispute resolution process outside of court. A neutral 3rd party works with both sides to help them reach an agreement on the issues they disagree about. The mediator does not make any decisions or rulings like a Judge. Instead, the mediator asks questions. The mediator helps the parties look at things differently and helps them focus on solutions.

Mediation is almost always successful. It sounds like a very simple process, but there are special reasons why it works. Here are some of them.

1. Neutral Expert. The mediator does not represent or work for one side or the other. The mediator seems to have more credibility with both parties because the mediator is neutral and has special training to gain skills needed to help people compromise and reach agreements with adversaries.

2. Quicker Answers. One reason why mediation can be successful is that it speeds up the negotiation process. Either the parties are all in direct communication in the same room or the mediator goes back and forth between separate rooms. Either way, the negotiations go much faster than discussions between attorneys in their own offices in different locations. It is much easier to keep the discussion going when there's little or no delay in waiting for a response.

3. Focus. Mediations are usually limited to a certain amount of time. Here, most mediations are for a day or a half day. As time passes, momentum seems to increase. When people realize they are running out of time, they often get more agreeable and are willing to compromise. Having the time limits does motivate people to get serious about settling.

4. Informality. Mediations are usually very informal. Most family law mediations in Texas are done with the parties in separate rooms. We don't follow the strict rules of evidence or procedure that are used in court. The informality allows the participants to be more comfortable and maybe more agreeable.

5. Controlled by the parties. There's no agreement unless both sides agree and accept the terms. The parties can create unique solutions and have results very different from what would have probably happened in court. The ability to fashion their own terms of agreement is one of the most important reasons why the process works. For most people, that is greatly preferred to just turning everything over to a Judge who doesn't know or care about either party.

These reasons explain part of the basis for mediation being so successful. If you have a family law case, you should plan for and look forward to your mediation!

Should I Wait...?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 18:02:00 +0000

Sometimes the first step is the hardest to take.

Even if you have been considering divorce for a long time, or even if divorce suddenly seems like a necessity, you may have trouble deciding to start a divorce. We all tend to stay with the status quo unless we become highly motivated to change.

This is a major, life-shaping decision and you should carefully consider the pros and cons. You certainly shouldn't be forced into deciding to divorce.

Here are some considerations on either side of the start or stay decision.

Why Stay?

You saw value in this relationship in the beginning. Can you still find value in it now? Can you can re-build the benefits to you? Maybe the good still out-weighs the bad.
You have invested your love, energy and material possessions in the relationship. You may not want to walk away from it.
Leaving may be damaging to your children or other family members. Ultimately, the decision comes back to you, but you shouldn't ignore the "collateral damage".
It might be bad timing right now. Maybe you're not working or your finances are in really bad shape. With a little time, you could get a job or save up some money. Your health also might be bad right now. You may need to time to heal or recover. Also, there could be some family obligations, such as a wedding, birth or health crisis for someone else. All of these are legitimate reasons to wait.

On the other hand...

Why Now?

You can control the initial timing. You can choose to start now and not give your spouse time to prepare or cause further problems. You wouldn't have to scramble in response to your spouse's surprise move.
You are able to plan and prepare. You can set aside money and resources. You can get control of things that you want from the divorce. You can plan your living arrangements and figure out what you want to start out with.
You can start on a peaceful basis. If you want to minimize conflict, you can start with a peaceful, even Collaborative, gesture to try to keep the divorce on a less-destructive path.

Ultimately, you have to decide which path makes more sense to you. However, if you are seriously considering divorce, you probably should take the first step now so you have more control over the process and the atmosphere that develops. A peaceful divorce is certainly a lot better than a surprise, antagonistic one.

Whichever way you go, good luck!

How to Simplify Your Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 16:00:00 +0000

About this time of year, many people start evaluating their lives and come to the conclusion that they should get divorces. Or, maybe their spouse has come forward and announced that he/she wants a divorce. If there's not immediate war, in many cases the spouses can choose a course of action that saves money and time, not to mention stress.

For those of you who don't want to spend your assets on fighting, here are some pointers on how to simplify your divorce.

1. Don't start a war. Be respectful and cooperative with each other. Carrying grudges and trying to exact revenge, even in small ways, will lead to anger and fighting. That costs money and will make for a slower divorce as you end up arguing over more and more small points.

2. Plan ahead. How do you want things to end? You might start off thinking everything will be divided 50-50, but that's often not the case. If you have special needs, like temporary support or retirement assets or job training or insurance, you should work on an overall plan that helps you end up with what you need, rather than an arbitrary 50%. Of course, that means you need to be considerate of your spouse's needs as well.

3. Do it right the first time. Unless yours is a very short marriage with no major assets and no kids, you need to work with a lawyer. You may not want to spend the money and you may think you can do it yourself, but you really should at least consult with an attorney and probably hire one. There's a lot a stake when you are getting divorced. Like it or not, divorces are usually complicated. You can avoid a lot of problems down the line by getting help as you go through the divorce process.

4. Choose the right attorney. I have written extensively in this blog and the Texas Collaborative Law Blog about how to choose an attorney. Be sure the chemistry is right and the attorney communicates effectively with you. Both attorneys and clients have different personalities and strengths. Make sure the attorney you choose is the best for you and your case. One size doesn't fit all!

5. Be willing to compromise. It really helps if you spend some time looking at the case from your spouse's perspective. It takes two to agree and normally neither of you can force the other to concede. Neither of you will get everything you want. Work with your attorney to come up with a negotiating strategy that is respectful and strategic. To get most of what you want, be ready to compromise.

If you follow these tips, you can simplify your divorce and avoid getting bogged down in a really bad experience. In fact, you should be able to have a good result, your spouse is more likely to be cooperative and maybe both of you can be friends (if that's what you want) post-divorce. Good luck!

Planning Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 20:35:00 +0000

People think about getting divorced at various times during the year. It's usually good advice for people to take their time and make sure divorce is the right decision for them. Once they reach that conclusion, then they need to decide on when to take the first step.

If pros and cons of divorce are being considered in November or December, timing can become an important factor, especially when there are children in the picture. Here are some topics to ponder when facing a possible divorce at the end of the year.

1. Delaying the filing until January or February may be best for the children. If you have children, you should think about how the stress of separation and divorce proceedings will affect their holidays. No matter what age they may be, it is often better to delay filing until later, if you can.

2. You need some time to consider the alternative processes for getting a divorce. You shouldn't assume that litigation is the way to go. In most cases, Collaborative Law is a better alternative. Mediation is also a great way to work out agreements. Do a little investigation, on line and by consulting with an attorney, before you jump in.

3. Sometimes discussing the situation with your spouse can be effective. Some couples are able to act like civilized adults and work out reasonable agreements informally at home. If you are one of those couples, that's a great start. Then you need help with the paperwork.

4. Take time to learn about your finances. In the near future, you will be living on your own and you and your soon-to-be-ex both need to have the financial means to survive. While you have time, review your living expenses, debt and income possibilities. Figure out a budget and think about how you would like assets divided.

5. Consider attorneys. Ask friends and professionals for referrals. Research on line to find out as much as you can so you can decide who you might be comfortable with. Look at the attorney's web site and blog (if he/she has one). Check directories like AVVO, Yelp and Google+ for reviews. You can also find information about Collaborative attorneys on the web sites of Collaborative Divorce Texas and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. It helps to research before you go meet a prospective attorney.

If you have the time to think about a divorce before you file, you should carefully consider the issues listed above. Meet with several attorneys and find out who you would like to work with and what to expect. Mainly, don't rush in, Educate yourself about the possibilities. Good luck.

Can One Attorney Represent Both Parties in a Divorce?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:01:00 +0000

NO!!!

Attorneys are trained to see both sides of an issue. Experienced attorneys have represented someone on each side of most common issues, but not at the same time and not opposing each other.

Here's a simple example. If the parties own a house and each one wants it, there's no way to simultaneously help both parties try to end up with the house.

That happens on all the issues: Custody, visitation, child support, dividing the assets, dividing the bills, who pays the taxes, and on and on.

Why does the issue come up?

People want to save money.
They think a divorce is simpler than it is.
They may have agreed on all issues, except one or two.
Or, sometimes one spouse will approach the other spouse and suggest that they can both use the first spouse's attorney who is a nice and friendly person. It doesn't matter how nice the attorney is, the attorney cannot represent both parties.

An attorney can tell you what a Judge might do in a certain situation, but that might not be satisfactory to at least one of the parties.

Bottom Line: An attorney cannot ethically represent both parties against each other. If you think you and your spouse hired an attorney to represent both of you, you are mistaken and someone will probably end up unhappy. The attorney will only be working for one of you. You need to make sure you hire your own attorney.

Do You Have a Common Law Marriage?

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 15:45:00 +0000

I am writing this to be Texas-centric. I recently read an article in a national publication which confidently stated that there is no common law marriage. That's probably true in about 42 other states, but not so in Texas.

Common law marriage is an old concept that has withstood many attacks over the years. It has changed is some ways, but it is still in effect and it can lead to problems or benefits, depending on your point of view.

1. Is there common law marriage in Texas? Yes. It's even spelled out in the Texas Family Code, the statute that governs family law issues in Texas.

2. How does someone become common law married? There are three requirements which all have to be met.

A couple must live together as spouses.

They must have an agreement that they are married.

They must hold out, or represent, to others that they are married.

All three events must be present for there to be a common law marriage.

3. Things that alone don't automatically create a common law marriage:

A couple living together. The most common mistaken belief about common law marriage is that if a couple lives together for "a certain period of time" (the length varies from story to story), they are common law married. Not True. You need all three requirements.
Giving the partner a ring. It's not one of the three requirements. It could be some evidence of the agreement, but it's not conclusive.
Having kids together. It's not one of the three requirements. It happens all the time outside of marriage. It could create some sympathy, but it doesn't do much for a case.
Having joint bank accounts. It's not one of the three requirements.
Sharing expenses. It's not one of the three requirements.
Buying a house together. It's not one of the three requirements. Engaged and non-engaged couples buy houses frequently. It doesn't do much for the case, unless the paperwork mentions that the couple is married.
Photos showing the couple together at various events. It's not one of the three requirements.
An agreement that the parties will get married in the future. The agreement must be that they are now married, not in the future. Also, both people must agree that they are married, not just one of them.

4. Facts that can support a finding of a common law marriage:

Filing joint tax returns.
Buying real estate or other major purchases where the paperwork refers to the couple as married.
Any signed affidavits stating the couple is married.
Statements to third parties about the couple being married.
Job applications and other important documents where the marital status is designated as married.
Insurance records showing a marital status of married.
Retirement asset paperwork referring to a spouse or indicating a marital status of married.

Conclusion:

There are a lot of misconceptions about common law marriage. If you think you may have a common law marriage, you should meet with a lawyer to find out if you have a case. A trial about common law marriage can be complicated and difficult. You definitely will need a lawyer to help if you get into litigation about common law marriage.

Bonus Information: If you have a common law marriage, you can use Collaborative Law to do a divorce.

Lessons From a Day at Court

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Thu, 01 Jun 2017 18:30:00 +0000

I have heard innumerable people say that the one thing they want the most is to have their "day in court". They want to spill the beans and tell the truth about everything. They believe that they will feel better and justice will be served once they have their day in court.

I hear the comments from people who are in slow-moving litigated divorces. To most of these "day in court" people, the issues are simple and crystal clear, and they are convinced the outcomes must favor them. No other view is conceivable.

For the people who are anxiously looking forward to their day in court, I would like to share some reality. I recently spent all morning and into the afternoon trying to work out temporary orders on a case. It was not a unique experience; I have done it many times before.

Here are some observations from that "day in court":

1. It can take a long time. This one was from 8:30 a.m. to about 2:00 p.m., five and a half hours. I have have had some go all day. My average is about three hours. We usually work through lunch on those cases.

2. People can become very irritable. Hanging around and negotiating or being in a hearing or just waiting can be very stressful if one or more of the players is upset.

Clients: You and your spouse will probably be under high stress. Many people are nervous and don't sleep well the night before. It is very common for both sides to get angrier as the day goes on. Think how well you and your spouse act when you are tired and hungry!
Attorneys: Sometimes they maintain control, but sometimes they don't. The other day, the other attorney acted very irritated and that did not help settle the case.
Judge: Often they are very busy and they express annoyance if they are asked to resolve issues like splitting up pots and pans. Judge prefer making decisions on significant issues and not spending time on issues that mature adults should be able to resolve.
Bailiff: Usually, they are very even-keeled, but sometimes they get snappy. They don't like wasting time and they don't like seeing their Judge having to deal with insignificant issues.

3. Both sides may be very unhappy with the results. The other day, I saw both parties after the hearing/negotiations. They both appeared to have lost everything! Here are some reasons why that can happen.

The facts may not be what someone expected or believed. People are often mistaken, but they come to believe in an incorrect version of the "facts".
There may be stronger resistance than expected on some issues. Where someone expected a quick agreement, there could be a huge disagreement. The result often is that someone doesn't get something that they had counted on.
Someone may be greedy and unreasonable. It would be great if everyone approached negotiations with an attitude of cooperation and fairness, but it doesn't usually happen.
The Judge may have very different ideas about how things should be resolved. Guess how that comes out!
Usually, there's not enough to go around. Instead of meeting the needs of both sides, Judges or agreements often only partially meet the needs of each side. Everyone gets less than they wanted or needed.
Both sides can't have the same thing at once. Usually, there's sharing or one side gets less and feels "cheated".

4. It's still not over. Even when you spend a long day at the courthouse, the case is still not finished.

Normally, there must be a written order, which may just be a temporary order. The written order will usually take several weeks to finish and get signed.
Often, there will be further clarifications needed. Even though the attorneys and Judge may have spent hours putting together an order, some things may need to be more specific.
There are often changes with new provisions. The attorneys and Judge may not have anticipated everything. It is normal to make some changes after the fact to cover some issues that were overlooked.

5. It's expensive. Think about paying $400 to $800 per hour, or more, for three to five or more hours, for attorneys to be negotiating or in a hearing, or even waiting around to get into court, which is not uncommon. Can you think of any more efficient or less expensive way to get issues resolved?

Sometimes, you have no choice. The other side demands a hearing, the Court may schedule a hearing or you may be forced into Court because the other side won't work with you.

Most of time, though, you do have a choice. At the outset, you should consider using Collaborative Law where you negotiate and agree to not go to court. Another option if you are in a litigated divorce is to go to mediation which is a great process that is almost always successful. You can also try having the attorneys informally negotiate an agreement.

If you are tempted to want to go to court, think back on these Lessons from a Day at Court. Having your Day in Court is probably not a good way to get your issues resolved.

Should I Wait or Can I Do it Now? A Short Quiz for People Going Through Divorce --Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 15 May 2017 20:29:00 +0000

Don't list yourself on a singles dating web site,

Don't get engaged,

Don't have a boy friend/girl friend move in,

Don't move in with a romantic interest, and

Don't set a wedding date.

Those actions can cause emotional upset to your still-current spouse, which may damage relationships, slow down the divorce and make it more expensive. They can also open additional financial issues to fight over. It's not worth it.

2. Should I introduce the kids to my new dating interest? Hopefully, you're not dating while the divorce is pending. Generally, you need to be very cautious about this. Probably, you should wait until you have dated for at least 6 months and you should also coordinate this with your ex-spouse. Ideally, you and your ex would work with a family therapist to coordinate the timing and wording of how to make that introduction.

3. Should I change my will or beneficiaries on insurance, retirement plans or anything else? Normally, there will probably be a court order saying you can't make those changes. Judges like to keep everything the way it has been. They would probably order you to change those documents back to the way they were before you changed them. Consult with your lawyer on this, and don't do anything on your own.

4. Is it OK if I buy gifts for my new girl friend or boy friend? No. I know it's not good for your new relationship, but spending community funds on a new romantic interest is always going to cause problem with your spouse and with the Judge. At the least, the expenditure will probably be added to your column as an asset in the property division. Your spouse will be angry and less cooperative than if you had not done this. It's also possible the Judge could sanction you for violating a court order. It's not worth the trouble that follows when you get found out, and you will get found out.

5. Should I give away things I don't need or want? Talk to your attorney. The answer will likely be No! You would probably violate a court order and you would probably be disposing of community property. Don't take a chance on it.

If you are thinking of taking some financial or relationship actions while the divorce is pending, do as our British friends would do. Stay Calm and consult your attorney.

Should I Wait or Can I Do it Now? A Short Quiz for People Going Through Divorce --Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Dick Price) — Mon, 01 May 2017 19:58:00 +0000

Many temptations come up when people are facing divorce. Many opportunities also come up then. Depending upon timing, some things are good ideas and others are not.

If you are facing divorce, or already involved in a divorce, here are some situations that commonly arise, along with some suggestions for you to think about when you are deciding whether to do something now or wait. (Hint: you will probably see a pattern.)

1. Should I buy a house before the divorce is final? If you do, it will very likely become a community asset which is subject to division in the divorce. Title companies will usually insist on listing both you and your spouse on the deed and the mortgage company may want to bind both parties to the mortgage, including the party not getting the house. There will be all kinds of complications. Of course, some very good deals may go away if you don't go after them immediately. You should certainly consult with your attorney.

2. Should I spend large amounts of money? If you do, you will likely be held responsible for the money and you may have to repay it or count it in your column as part of your community property when things are divided. There will be a cost to spending the money. Consult with your attorney.

3. Should I make new investments? You should be aware that the Court will probably include in the community property any new investments you make before the divorce is finalized. That means that they will probably be considered in the mix of the property to be divided upon divorce. Even though you make the investments, they will probably be community property unless you use solely separate assets to pay for it, or they could be part separate and part community. Certainly, consult with your attorney before making any investments.

4. Should I take a major vacation? No. Especially with a boy friend or girl friend. Even without the romance, your spouse may get angry that you are "wasting" assets or doing something he or she doesn't get to do. The cost of the trip will probably come from your side of the spreadsheet. It's not worth the grief. If you think you should go, please consult your attorney.

5. Should I sell or get rid of any assets? This is complicated. Usually, you should avoid selling or getting rid of things unless there's a compelling financial reason to do so and unless the Court or your attorney and your spouse's attorney have both signed off on the deal.

If you are thinking of making some financial moves while the divorce is pending, do as our British friends would do. Stay Calm and consult your attorney.