SmallWorld

Good Mom

2012-02-07T09:14:00.006-05:00

There are some mornings, like this one, when I am good mom. I make sausages and deliver them, carefully placed on a plate with a tiny bowl of maple syrup, to my 11-year-old, who is watching his morning dose of TV. I bring him a mug of hot chocolate sprinkled with marshmallows. He smiles and looks, frankly, surprised. "Hot chocolate?" he says in delight. "For me?"

Yes. Hot chocolate, for you. Because you are just a few inches shorter than I am, but for now you are still shorter. Because you are my blond, blue-eyed baby. Because you have dimples and smile. All the time.

I am not usually good morning mom. I usually grunt, "Make yourself some pancakes" (those would be the microwaveable kind) or "Pour yourself a bowl of cereal." I am usually glued to my laptop in the morning, if I'm not out running.

But some mornings, I want to nurture and please. Some mornings I am suddenly struck with the awesome knowledge that this is my privilege. That making a cup of hot chocolate is an honor. That seeing the grateful smile of my third child is a gift so far beyond ordinary that no one can possibly describe it.

It is simple, this mother love. It comes in waves of memory or quick blinks of realization that the years are limited. Some day, in just a few years, I won't have anyone around who delights in hot chocolate or who wraps himself in an afghan while watching cartoons.

A few days ago, he sheepishly stopped me as I was about to hug him goodbye. At youth group. His eyes said, "I love you, but please don't hug me here." I smiled. He knew I understood.

I give it this way while I can.

Linked up with Amy's Finer Things Friday

Black History Month: Children's Books and Unit Studies on Slavery

2012-02-06T18:24:00.002-05:00

February is Black History Month in the United States and Canada—and it’s a great time to educate your kids about the history of African Americans in the U.S. Sometimes we have a tendency to skip over or minimize the painful parts of U.S. history, especially the treatment of non-whites, including Native Americans, African Americans, and Asian Americans. As author and historian David McCullough says, “A nation that forgets its past can function no better than an individual with amnesia.”

If you would prefer to explore the lives of African Americans post-slavery, check out all the offerings at Teacher Vision. You’ll find dozens of resources, including teaching guides, printable books and coloring pages on famous African Americans, from George Washington Carver to Jackie Robinson to Martin Luther King Jr. You could spend weeks on this site alone!

But I think perhaps the best place to start is with the history of slavery in the United States. From lapbooks to books to internet explorations, below you’ll find a list of some excellent resources for studying slavery. …

{Come on over to The Homeschool Classroom to check out my list of resources, including lapbooks and read-alouds, for studying slavery!}

Superbowl Sunday Miscellany

2012-02-05T17:05:00.006-05:00

* I love Superbowl Sunday. I don't know one single thing about football, although I did absolutely love the show Friday Night Lights, but Randy gets very excited and makes fabulous food for the Superbowl. There's such a festive air about the day. On his menu tonight: sliders, shrimp, wings, chips and dip, chips and guacamole and queso. My contribution: chocolate chip cookies, but I only made those because Duncan is going to a Superbowl party at the church we've been attending.

* I should blog sometime about church. It's been 5 months since we left our church. I feel as if I am emerging, this past month especially, into a whole new world. I feel so unfettered, both by being gone from that church and from relinquishing so much of the anger I felt toward the leaders of that congregation. But this is a miscellaneous post, so I'll save that for another time.

Random picture #1: Our sweet pup and Laurel's new kitty, basking in the sun

* This week coming up is going to scary. I'm going to have to transport myself to survival mode. The week goes like this:

Monday: co-op all day, Boy Scouts at night
Tuesday: performing arts classes resume in the afternoon, Cub Scout Blue and Gold banquet at night
Wednesday: taking my Brit Lit class to see the opera Romeo and Juliette in the later afternoon/evening
Thursday: American Heritage Girls and Cub Scouts
Friday: Preparations for the AHG Father/Daughter banquet begin at 9:30 a.m.; Brit Lit from 1-4; head back immediately for final prep for the Father/Daughter banquet, which begins at 6 p.m.

And that doesn't include all the regular things, like homeschooling, visiting my parents, running, and watching American Idol. Also, we just started watching Downton Abbey and I don't know how that is going to fit in this week.

* Fortunately, my house is clean. That will help my frame of mind tremendously. I can handle a cluttered schedule much better than a cluttered house.

Random Picture #2: winter aconites—the first sign of spring, 1 month early.

* Is it just me, or is everyone joining Pinterest this week? I think about two dozen of my friends just started pinning over the weekend. Now comes the dilemma: do I follow all my friends? Do I follow my daughter's friends? I kind of liked living in my anonymous Pinterest tunnel.

* By the way, we're rooting for the Giants. (I will admit that I had to yell into Randy just now: "Is it the Jets or the Giants." I just wanted to be safe.)

Have a great Superbowl Sunday. May you have plenty of deep-fried food and ample trans-fats mixed in with a healthy dose of carbs.

Show Us Your Day-in-the-Life

2012-02-03T14:49:00.003-05:00

Over at Simple Homeschool we contributors have been sharing our Day-in-the-Life posts for the past several weeks. (Here is mine.) Now it's your turn! Write up your own post and link up at Simple Homeschool. We homeschoolers l-o-v-e to read what other homeschoolers are up to. I don't know about you, but I always feel relieved when I read about other families that start at 10 a.m.! If you don't want to write one, be sure and visit all the links there. You'll get ideas, inspiration, and encouragement—and probably some amusement, as well!

Colored Glass

2012-02-01T09:12:00.003-05:00

When my uncle died, we packed up his house. He was the curator of the family heirlooms: the china, old letters, furniture, photos. Everything. It was fascinating to see who chose what. One brother took a rocking chair, in which he said our grandmother used to rock him. Another wanted the flat-screen TV and a couple of sketches on the wall. A sister-in-law liked gadgets. A niece took some china and an old washtub. My cousin took a map. My son took a highly decorative Mason's sword that belonged to my Great-Uncle Mood.

Oh, there's more. Much, much more. A hundred years or more of family heirlooms, carefully divvied up. But today, colored glass. The pieces belonged to my Great-Aunt Flossie (the hobnail pieces in the top two photos) and my grandmother, Helen. I've always loved colored glass in windows, and I love even more the daily reminders of these three people: my precious grandmother, my Aunt Flossie, and our beloved Uncle Max.

Linked up to Amy's Finer Things, Wordless Wednesday, 5 Minutes for Mom, Seven Clown Circus

The End of the Birthday Parties

2012-01-29T13:17:00.000-05:00

I have to admit: I'm glad we're coming to the end of the birthday party era. I've been doing this for 18 years. We've done—to name just a few— Dr. Suess, Down-on-the-Farm, and space adventure; knights, dinosaurs, and army; Pokemon, fish, and dangerous boys; ice-cream sundae, High School Musical, butterflies.

We've gone to the gymnastics center, the Lost Sea, and Ripley's Believe It or Not. We've done the beach, the waterpark, bowling, camping, hiking, and some of them twice. Or more.

I've made cakes of every shape and size, stuffed goody bags with plastic and candy, and eased hurt feelings at sleepovers. I've agonized over the guest list, wondered when a kid was going to get picked up, and spent hundreds of dollars and hours on celebrating the aging of my children.

My youngest is 11. He's had some fabulous parties, always a couple of weeks before his Christmas Day birthday. But this year I fell to a new low, and I know it's just in the nick of time that the birthday party era is coming to an end.

This year, his "party" fell a solid month after his birthday. Exactly one day in advance, I emailed three friends' moms and asked if they could spend the night. "Sure," they all said. I didn't even tell them what time. I might have said, "We're eating at 6 if they want food." They all magically showed up around the same time (6:30). They dropped their backpacks and ran around barefoot in the back yard. (Yes, I know it's January. He's my third child.) We ate hamburgers. They ran outside again. They got dirty and smelly. They played the Wii and watched a movie. They went to sleep around 1:30. They woke up and ate waffles.

I didn't even make a cake. I stuck two candles in a plastic cup filled with cookies-and-cream ice-cream.

I spent less than $10 for party food: hamburgers, french fries, ice-cream, Doritoes, and root beer. We organized not a single game. In fact, we hardly saw them. We went to bed before they did.

I have not a single picture.

If this is how birthday parties are going to be from here on out, count me in. No more pinatas! No more party games! My days of elaborately themed parties have come to an end, and I couldn't be happier.

Moms of littles, take heart! Your day is coming. In the meantime, cherish every single cupcake and take lots of pictures.

Weekly Wrap-Up

2012-01-27T15:38:00.010-05:00

The past couple of weeks have been fairly calm.

Crocuses blooming in late January; daffodils are just about to burst. I'll miss them in the spring. I'm not sure what to think about this weather. I think I miss winter a little, but who can complain about bare feet and crocuses, ever? I like that Duncan ran inside during a run-around-the-house break and said, "Come outside with me!" He made me close my eyes so he could lead me to the crocuses. Someday he will be a good husband. He knows the language of flowers.

Duncan and I are studying China, and Monday was the beginning of Chinese New Year. We found all kinds of activities at Activity Village. Neither of us have been in a crafty mood this week, but we've enjoyed reading about the Year of the Dragon. We finished reading Young Fu of the Upper Yangtze and started on a biography of Hudson Taylor, a missionary to China. We're also in the middle of watching The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, based on the life of Gladys Aylward, and Wild China. Both are excellent and available on Netflix streaming. We decided not to do a lapbook for China since we did such an elaborate Japan lapbook, so we have been really concentrating on map skills. I like to lay our Asia Mark-it Map out flat and have Duncan find different cities, bodies of water, etc. and mark them. Somehow he can visualize it better when it's on the floor rather than on the wall. Seems more hands-on, I guess.

Duncan finally got the word "groceries" right in spelling. That was the exciting academic achievement of the week. Besides that breakthrough, everything continues on as usual—math, grammar, handwriting, etc. Homeschooling seems so easy with just one full-time student. See my Day-in-the-Life post on Simple Homeschool here, if you want to see a typical day.

This was our last week before our preK-8th grade co-op classes start back. Duncan will be taking literature circle, art, creative writing, boys' game club, and Lego club. I just realized that he's not taking a science class; but since he took two last semester, I guess we're OK. We'll do natural science this semester at home.

Laurel is already 3 weeks into her second semester co-op classes. She does fabulously in all her classes: physical science, British Lit, European history, drama, and art appreciation. She's also taking a "just desserts" cooking class. She's already had loads of experience in baking, cake decorating, etc (she made the cupcakes above for a Moms' Night Out I hosted), so this is just a fun class for her. In fact, since the new year began, she's been cooking supper once each week. I can't believe how lucky I am to have someone else preparing dinner in the middle of the week! I could definitely get used to this.

Math continues to be the bane of her existence. Lately I've been throwing in a few Kahn Academy algebra videos for her to watch to hopefully shed some new light on some particular math stumbling blocks. She really does get it; she just would so much rather be doing almost anything else.

We're also going to start working on her personal finance credit. She'll be doing the Money Management badge in American Heritage Girls, which is very similar to the Boy Scouts Personal Finance badge. Kahn Academy has a fantastic series on finance, which looks way more than adequate for a half-credit. I really need to think about German, too. I had planned to start that with Laurel this semester, but the book I wanted shot up in price in one of those weird Amazon.com jumps. I'll have to rethink that.

In the British Lit class that I teach on Fridays, we're learning about poetry and preparing to write a research paper. Analyzing poetry is not my favorite thing to do or teach. As a poet, I was always a bit cracked up and often flabbergasted to hear my poems analyzed in workshop. I often wonder what all these dead poets think of our endless dissections. Still, it must be done. Somewhere in their academic careers, they'll need to at least be familiar with the words rhyme and meter and even iambs. And so I give them a taste of it. On the composition side of things, we talked about quoting, paraphrasing, and summarizing, and then practiced a bit of paraphrasing. They have all picked novels for their research papers, and we're going through writing a research paper step-by-step.

In other news, we had a new baby in our family this week!

Soren, my great-nephew, was born last Saturday, the day before my Dad's (his great-grandfather) 87th birthday. My niece and her husband brought Soren and his big brother Judah, almost 2, over to visit yesterday. So sweet to have all these little babies gracing our family! We have still another one to look forward to in March. My brother Stephen, who is two years older than I am, and his wife are expecting their first baby then. He'll be a first-time father at 48! And a very, very good one, I'm sure.

Our co-op starts back in earnest on Monday, with hundreds of kids taking a full day's worth of classes. I'll be teaching literature circle and 2 creative writing classes. That means this weekend will be filled with preparing for a crazy day on Monday!

Linked up with the Weekly Wrap-Up

My Day-in-the-Life Post

2012-01-25T08:03:00.001-05:00

The first thing I had to do when asked to take part in this year’s “Day in the Life” series was to look back at my post from last January. I wondered how much our daily life had changed in a year.

Well, a lot.

{Come and find out what a typical day at our house might look like over on Simple Homeschool. While you're there, check out similar posts by the other Simple Homeschool writers!}

On the Menu (with Oven Chicken Stew recipe)

2012-01-23T08:59:00.008-05:00

The past two weeks have been very delicious. Pinterest provides a treasure trove of new and fresh recipe links, and I've added a few new favorites to my On the Menu list:

Spicy Asian Lettuce Wraps: these are phenomenal. Oh my goodness. I wish I had some leftovers right now. My one word of advice: the recipe calls for 2 tsp of red pepper flakes. We like spicy in our house, and I cut this down to 1/4 tsp. That was plenty, although a little more than that would have been OK.
Best Muffins Ever: They really are. Our favorite combo is white chocolate and raspberries. Unbelievable and totally addictive!
Pork Roast with Apples and Onions: I also added fresh cranberries in toward the end of the cooking time, and it was beautiful as well as delicious.
French Dip: This is a fantastic crockpot recipe and serves 8-10 people. I add cheese (provolone, swiss or pepperjack) to the bread after lightly toasting it, and then put the bread in the oven for a couple more minutes to slightly melt the cheese. The meat will melt it the rest of the way.
Slow Cooker Carnitas: Another slow cooker recipe that is fabulous. I didn't serve these on tortillas, as the recipe suggests, but just plopped on the plate with a side of homemade applesauce. Yum.

I've also tried a few recipes that weren't terribly exciting. Why is it always the ones that promise "Better than PF Changs!" or "The best I've ever had!" that are the failures?

One I just made a couple of nights ago and will be having again soon is a version of Shove-It-in-the-Oven Chicken Stew. I made several changes from the original recipe, so here is my version. this was a big hit in my family:

Oven Chicken Stew

2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into large pieces
2 pounds red or yellow potatoes, quartered*
1 large onion, cut into large chunks
1/2 pint cherry tomatoes
4 large cloves garlic, sliced
8-10 mushrooms, sliced
2-3 carrots, cut into chunks
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup red wine
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1/2-1 tsp sea salt (adjust)
1/2-1 tsp black pepper (adjust)
1/2-1 cup chicken broth
Adjust oven rack to near bottom position and heat oven to 425 degrees.

Mix everything except the chicken broth in a large roasting pan or cast-iron skillet. Cover, set pan in oven and roast about 30 minutes. Remove cover, add enough broth to form a stew, stir, and put in oven for another 15 minutes. Serve with warm, crusty bread.
*You may wish to leave the potatoes out and serve this with a side of mashed potatoes.

So here's what's on our menu for this week:

Plus, one night my daughter is cooking and one night we are going to a Chinese restaurant celebration of Chinese New Year!

Linked up on Taste This Thursday, Tasty Tuesday and Menu Plan Monday

Quiet

2012-01-21T22:19:00.005-05:00

It's one of my favorite kind of nights. My daughter and I just finished watching a movie. I'm still snuggled under a fleece blanket; I hear her tap-tap-tapping on the computer. My taps on my laptop echo hers. The fire is warm. The dog sleeps on the floor; one cat snores on the loveseat and the new kitten is curled on another blanket in the back of the big red chair.

The heat kicks on. A car drives by on the wet road outside. I remember when I was much younger, and 9:30 p.m. was just the beginning of the night. I think about when I was a teenager, and how butterflies took up residence in my stomach almost all the time. Expectation mixed with anxiety, stirred up with a heady dash of excitement. Something was always bound to happen sometime soon.

Another car drives by, and another. I think about my first boyfriend in his red wool letter jacket with the stiff white sleeves, about how we used to go driving around on a night like this. I wonder what we talked about or if we talked at all. I remember how he looked when he was driving, how he sprawled out on the seat, relaxed. For a long, long time after he died, I would catch a whiff of his cologne at the strangest times. I really would. No one else has ever smelled like him. Sometimes it feels like they are still out there somewhere, that 15 year old girl and her boyfriend, who ran cross-country and sang very badly.

The dog growls. My daughter yawns twice. The cat hops down from her perch and stares at me expectantly, then meows once. I think about my daughter, who at 14 is right on the cusp of when it all begins.

For her, I hope for a life like this, filled with the happy confidence of today and of memories stitched together, wrapped up in a warm blanket on a quiet winter's night.

Comforter

2012-01-18T07:47:00.005-05:00

It is natural for my son to put his arm around his grandmother. Like his father, he is a comforter. He knows intuitively the right moment to reach for a hand and just hold it, to give a sympathetic smile, to put his arm around someone. It is a gift.

The photo is fuzzy, I know; it isn't about the quality of light or clarity of focus. These are two people I love so deeply sharing a moment of grief. He is 11; she is 84. My mother sobs as she looks at her brother's life in photos—we have just left his funeral. Duncan walks beside her, then attaches himself to her. He is exactly what she needs at this moment: a quiet hug, human touch, permission to weep.

Someday, he will have a wife, and she will be a well-loved woman. I know. I am married to his father.

Linked up with Amy's Finer Things Friday, Wordless Wednesday, 5 Minutes for Mom, Mamato4Blessings

The Great Room Redo: Dresser Spruce-up

2012-01-15T19:01:00.006-05:00

My Great Room Redo —converting Duncan's old bedroom to our office— is coming along nicely. A few weeks ago I fixed up an old lab desk to what will be my sewing table. Yesterday I finished the dresser that used to look like this:

And now looks like this:

I sanded it, put on one coat of primer, two coats of soft-white door/trim paint, and one coat of polycrylic just on the top. I also bought new knobs at Target. All supplies were left over from some other project, so the total cost of the dresser was about $16—the price of 10 knobs. I could have used the wooden knobs and repainted them, I know, but I really wanted new knobs.

We decided that we really needed another dresser in our bedroom (and it's also WAY too heavy to move very far), so we removed several cubicle units that we were using as a catch-all for miscellaneous items and moved the dresser in. Now the drawers are filled partially with photo albums, baby books, and other memorabilia, as well as our running clothes. I still have some space left that will no doubt be filled soon.

Next up, I need to shampoo the carpet in the room and then figure out what to do with this chair:

When we packed up my Uncle Max's house after his death, we brought nearly all the furniture back to Tennessee to sort through here. This chair is incredibly comfortable, so I rescued it. Now I have to learn how to reupholster. I've been reading all kinds of websites and have lots of ideas. The trickiest part is going to be working around the wooden posts, which are attached to the back and arms and can't be removed. Harumph.

Help?

Weekly Wrap-Up

2012-01-14T08:55:00.011-05:00

Or rather, "monthly wrap-up." I am lame at the weekly accounting!

In mid-December, there was our long-awaited trip to the Challenger Learning Center on the campus of UT Chattanooga. We spent 10 weeks of classes—with 24 kids in 5th-8th grades—preparing for this trip. Have I ever mentioned what a challenge it was for me, the writer and lover of all things related to literature, to teach a class about, um, space? Mars? Planets? I learned a lot. Some of it from the kids, in fact. The day of the mission itself arrived chilly and wet. As in pouring-down-rain wet, which is not anyone's favorite weather for driving the 2-hour trip to Chattanooga. All our families were driving down separately or carpooling; my co-teacher Donna arrived 2 hours before our mission in order to have lunch and maybe a little shopping in Chattanooga; I planned to arrive 45 minutes early. Just in case.

Twenty minutes down the road, our 18-year-old, home from college, called. "Um, you locked me out of the house." (He sleeps in the apartment that is attached to the house.) He is unable to break in the house. (I should be happy about that, I know.) Back home to unlock the door and we're on the road again with no time to spare. But that's OK, right? Because Donna, my co-teacher, is already in Chattanooga and can meet our students there in plenty of time. Except that Donna calls as she is just about to the Challenger Center and says, "We just got hit by a school bus."

It all ended up OK, really. We arrived just 8 minutes late. The bus incident wasn't as bad as it sounded—the bus just pulled the bumper of their car. And the mission itself? Outstanding!! Here are just a few photos, all taken by Donna. If you live within a few hours of Chattanooga, I strongly recommend that you look into doing a session at the Challanger Mission center! I'd be happy to provide more details about our class if you send me an email.

After our big Voyage to Mars, we nestled into the Christmas season. Having Jesse home from college is so awesome. As a friend once expressed when his came home from college, "My collection is all here." They decorated Christmas cookies, a long-standing tradition in our house. Jesse has left behind the "you can decorate without me" teen years and now happily decorates a few cookies:

Jesse, Laurel, and one of Laurel's friends prepared their second annual Christmas-break meal for us:

This year's Thai chicken curry was oh-so-much better than last year's pumpkin ravioli! And they did all the clean-up, as well.

A few day after Christmas—which was Duncan's 11th birthday—we traveled to Charlotte for our annual New Year's visit to Randy's family. The weather was fabulous, so we spent one afternoon geocaching through a park.

This is our new favorite thing to do on trips or just around town, when we don't have time for a hike in the Smokies. We found the first one fairly easily. The second one was a bit more challenging, and we never found the third one. We hiked around a tortuous bike path in the woods for well over an hour and then searched the spot that the GPS assured us was correct, but to no avail.

But all of our celebrating had a cover of mourning. We had moved my Uncle Max from a facility in Illinois to a nursing home here in Tennessee, where we could be with him daily. But we knew we were losing him. My family, parents, brothers, nieces, nephews all visited him several times a day, and that was a gift to us. He passed away on New Year's Eve.

On January 2 we all headed up to Illinois, 17 of us from here and then one brother from NY and our cousin from Maryland. My Dad, three of my brothers, and our cousin all spoke at Uncle Max's funeral, and it was truly amazing. This is just one of the many displays at his funeral:

If you read my blog regularly, I've posted several times about our Uncle Max, one of the greatest of the Greatest Generation. I miss him.

In between visiting hours, funeral, and burial, we all packed up Uncle Max's house. You can read a bit about that here on Sifting Through a Life. We also took some time to drive by where my grandparents lived—the house I spent many days during summer vacations of my childhood—and to see the new veterans' memorial in the park across the street.

We headed home in time for Laurel's performance in Alice in Wonderland. This was put on by her drama class at our co-op, and it was seriously probably the best high-school performance I have ever seen. And, like most of us, I've seen a lot! I know I am biased, but I was floored.

Laurel was a storyteller and thus was on stage for the entire performance with lots of lines. She was fantastic. The flyer above shows Lewis Carroll with all five Alices, which was a brilliant addition to the play.

That was a week ago. We started back with "regular" school on Monday. Co-op began for high schoolers. Laurel is continuing with second semester of physical science, art history, and drama. Her health and computer courses were just one semester, so she has added in a cooking class. Duncan and I are now studying China as part of Sonlight 5, so we did lots of reading. He also watched a few episodes of Wild China on Netflix throughout the week while I did math with Laurel. Of course we continued on with spelling, grammar, math, geography, vocabulary, and all those things.

We had our first day back with American Heritage Girls and Cub Scouts on Thursday, and my British Lit class resumed on Friday. Except for adding in the K-6 co-op on Mondays (which starts January 30) and the kids' Tuesday performing arts co-op (which begins Feb. 1), I guess we are officially back into the swing of things.

In other homeschooling news, if you have teenagers, check out my article Facebook and Your Teen on The Homeschool Classroom. And I was excited to see that three of my articles were in the Top 10 at Simple Homeschool. While you're over at Simple Homeschool, be sure to check out all the Day-in-the-Life posts. There's nothing quite so fun as peering into the lives of other homeschooling families!

Now if I could just get off the computer and get my house cleaned and decluttered....

Linked up with the Weekly Wrap-Up at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers

Facebook and Your Teen

2012-01-11T08:14:00.004-05:00

For my daughter and most of her friends, getting a Facebook page at 13 was a rite of passage. Chances are, if you have a tween, s/he is looking forward to that day. So what do you need to know if your teen is about to enter the world of Facebook?

{Come on over to The Homeschool Classroom where I provide suggestions for safety and rules of Facebook etiquette to teach your young teens!}

Sifting Through a Life

2012-01-03T15:24:00.009-05:00

My uncles, Max and Henry, with my mother around 1931

It's the pause before, the sacred snippet of quiet that I should be savoring. I should be sleeping or reading or even watching television. In an hour we'll be at the funeral home, arranging displays of a life, a whole entire life of 90 years. In two hours we'll be shaking hands of strangers mostly who loved our person, our uncle, our Max.

Uncle Max, 1943

But I can't rest. For one, the doors are banging open and closed in the hallway of the hotel. But mostly, I keep thinking about sorting through a life, sifting through what is left of someone who has always been a part of our family. Uncle Max is, was, my mother's older brother. He was a bachelor who lived with my grandparents until their deaths. He was a World War 2 hero, having flown 69 missions during the war, including 3 on D-Day. He was a pilot, airport manager, Lt. Colonel, member of the VFW and the American Legion and the Elks Club and all kinds of groups. People loved him, and he loved them all right back.

Uncle Max on the phone with my Dad, who was overseas during the Korean War. That's my mom, my Aunt Ann, and my oldest brother, James. Uncle Max, who roomed with my Dad in college, introduced my parents.

My mother says Max was the custodian of the family. In his house he has drawers filled with letters, cards, documents, funeral registers, tiny slips of paper, Valentines, family pictures, birth and death certificates, quilts, china, uniforms, medals, silver spoons. He was meticulous and organized, clearly labeling nearly everything. He wasn't a pack rat by any means. He was a curator of family history, a keeper of treasures, a recorder of deeds.

My mother and Uncle Max, spring 2010

My brother Peter and my father have done a marvelous job of tenderly taking care of the business of death. They have made arrangements beyond what I can even comprehend. At my uncle's house I wrap a tea cup in newspaper and place it in a box, take down a picture frame, toss out a half-empty jar of peanut butter. With everything I decide to keep or toss, I regret, regret, regret not having written to my uncle more, not having sent him more pictures. Why did I not do that? My husband says that I am too hard on myself, that he was always part of our lives. And he lived a rich, friend-filled life outside of the family.

It's time now. I must pull off my jeans and pull on my black dress pants and boots, try to figure out my hair, brush my teeth. My parents and two brothers and a sister-in-law rest in rooms across the hall. Niece and nephews, cousins, another brother, and my own husband and children are due to arrive soon. The bustle of visiting hours will begin, the stream of people whose lives my uncle enriched coming to say goodbye. Tomorrow, more sifting through his life, the funeral, the burial, the cold walk in the graveyard. Holding my mother's hand, linking my arm through my father's firm one.

Waiting, Arrival, Heroes

2011-12-28T08:41:00.004-05:00

These past 6 weeks have had the Twilight Zone air about them, the waiting kind of days. I wrote about The Waiting a few years ago, in the days preceding Randy's grandpa's death. We are waiting in my family now for what will happen next with Uncle Max.

Last Friday, just two days before Christmas, a pilot and a doctor, two old friends of Max's, brought him to us in the pilot's plane. Uncle Max has lived his entire life—90 years— in Mt. Vernon, Illinois. The decision to bring him here to Tennessee was not made lightly. After three strokes and surgery, Uncle Max isn't doing well. He has a huge network of friends there who care greatly for him, but it is his family who has to make decisions—all those medical and financial ones. And hold his hand for hours and try to feed him one tiny spoonful at a time. My parents, who are in their 80s, and two of my brothers had made several trips already to and from Illinois. We made the decision to move Max here to a local long-term care facility, and things fell quickly into place.

I love this picture of my father waiting for the plane. Uncle Max is my mother's older brother, but my Dad and he were roommates at the University of Illinois first. It was on a trip from the university to Mt. Vernon that my father first met Max's younger sister. The story goes that Mom and Dad sat in the backseat and played Battleship (on paper of course, not the board game) all the way home. When my father came into the house, my grandfather said, "That's the man you're going to marry."

But this is about Uncle Max. Except that Uncle Max is part of them, part of us. Although we had dozens (literally) of great-aunts and -uncles, my brothers and I had only 3 "real" ones: my mother's brothers Henry and Max, and my father's sister, Ann. Uncle Henry died many years ago; Aunt Ann passed away just this August; and now there is just Uncle Max. He's the one, though, that has been the biggest part of our family. He is ours, and we have been his.

I love this picture because in it are two of the Greatest Generation: my father and my uncle, both World War 2 vets. My uncle was actually a D-Day pilot, flying Operation Overlord in June 1944: Utah, Omaha, Gold, June, and Sword Beaches. My father came to Europe three months later, 18 years old. And now here they are, 65 years later. It breaks my heart but fills me with unspeakable pride. And gratefulness.

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday and 5 Minutes for Mom

Great Room Redo, continued

2011-12-27T11:06:00.005-05:00

I'm still in the midst of the great room redo, but I am getting closer and it's only been one month! The biggest part of the job is done: the walls, trim, door, and cabinets are painted. Yesterday I finished the desk, which is going to be my sewing table.

Here's what it looked like before:

It's a really sturdy lab table that Randy rescued when his lab was renovated. The height is perfect for me, but obviously it was a wreck after being an art table for awhile and then Duncan's desk.

And here it is now!

I gave it 2 coats of off-white paint (the same color as the trim) and 3 coats of Minwax polycrylic protective finish, which apparently will not yellow on white paint. The "S" just seemed like the right thing to do. I had to use wrapping paper from Hobby Lobby because scrapbooking paper wasn't big enough, and I didn't want to line up two pieces. I'm too impatient for that. (Plus, now I have a whole roll of cool wrapping paper.)

I found this site on Pinterest for all kinds of letters. Mine didn't come out quite like I envisioned it, but I'm happy enough. I decoupaged on the "S" before I put on the polycrylic. Because I am lazy and like instant gratification, I didn't smooth it out as well as I should have so it's kind of wrinkled. I picked out the photo that didn't show the wrinkles, but I do feel the need to confess my crafty inadequacies (which are many).

The whole project cost about $5 for the wrapping paper (I forgot to bring my 40% off coupon) and $4 for the Minwax. Everything else I already had (Modge Podge, paint, the desk itself). And I have plenty of wrapping paper and Minwax left over for other projects.

Now that the desk is done, I can start sewing curtains for both the window and then cabinets. Here's what they looked like before:

Stay tuned to see what they'll look like next week!

Linked up with Craftastic Monday at Sew Can Do

Best Christmas Present Ever

2011-12-25T12:18:00.002-05:00

Eleven years ago right about now (12:15 p.m.), we headed to the hospital. Five hours later, he arrived, all 10 pounds of him. He was rushed to the NICU for meconium aspiration, and we brought him home six days later. He's been smiling ever since.

Happy birthday to our sweet Duncan, and happy Christmas to all!

Perfection

2011-12-21T09:30:00.002-05:00

There is nothing quite like quiet December mornings, made purely magical with fire and lights. Snow would be a lovely addition, but it's not mandatory.

I'd like to say I'm going to cozy in and stay put for the next several days, but that is not to be, at least not on this rainy day. Today, my teenagers are cooking for us in what has been declared a tradition. Last year they made pumpkin ravioli. This year they are making chicken curry. Their day will include a trip to the Asian food market. While they are doing that, I'll be taking my 84-year-old mom Christmas shopping. She wants to get my Dad a cell phone carrier to hook onto his belt. Age is just a number.

If my kids aren't in the kitchen all day, I'll make another batch or two of cookies. And tomorrow will be our annual sugar cookie decorating day with my Mom. Friday we'll head over to my second brother's home to have our annual Christmas swap. This year we're doing cookies instead of white elephant. And then we'll head into Christmas weekend, which should be nice and quiet.

Hope you are having a somewhat peaceful week!

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday, Seven Clown Circus, and 5 Minutes for Mom

The Good Things Could Fill a Book

2011-12-20T08:37:00.008-05:00

It occurs to me that reflecting on this year is a lot like reflecting on last year. I remember feeling so grateful that the year was over, that 2011 would be an easy year.

But this has been a hard year, or at least these past five months have been hard. Deaths, heartbreak, troubled friendships, my aging parents, my uncle's stroke. Leaving our church and dealing with wave after wave of insult atop injury there. I am tired of this year.

My father and me with my Aunt Ann and her family, just three weeks before she died of ovarian cancer

But in spite of it all—and this is the truth—I am filled with joy and anticipation. These things wear me down. I would like sometimes to flee, whether literally or figuratively. But surrounding all these hard things are the good things, the hundreds and hundreds of sweet and lovely things that sustain me.

The hard things took up one small paragraph; the good things could fill a book. I could start with the sweet smile of my husband in the morning and end with something utterly materialistic, like the fact that we have the means to pay our son's college tuition. I could write about the utter joy of listening to the familiar, slightly accented voice of my father as he tells a growing-up story after dinner. I could list excellent health, running vehicles, a new roof over our heads. I could try to explain what the mountains smell like in the snow, or how utterly spectacular it is to see the tall phlox flowering in the spring in the Smokies. I could translate into words the pure joy of laughter, the comfort of friends, the delight in new friendships. I could write about my daughter's utter loveliness, the sweetness of my youngest, the pride I have in our oldest. I could write about the good things that happened as a result of the bad things.

I could say, "This year was really hard." It was sometimes. Painfully difficult. But above all, I am thankful that nearly each day, before anything else creeps into my mind, I wake with a certain sense of anticipation. It is a gift that the Giver of all good things bestowed upon me—the gift of expectation and hope. I don't want to imagine life without it.

Linked up with Tuesdays Unwrapped at Chatting at the Sky, On Your Heart Tuesday and Finer Things Friday

Keeping the Obligation Out of Tradition (A Simple Homeschool Post)

2011-12-16T08:02:00.003-05:00

I am a great lover of family traditions. In fact, my entire master’s thesis was built around the theme of tradition and legacy. I love the stories that are passed down from generation to generation, the bits of family legend, as well as the tangible items: our grandmothers’ china, the old grenade and bayonet from World War II, Aunt Mabel’s jewelry, old books inscribed in elegant handwriting, and threadbare quilts with my mother’s old dresses.

In our own family, my husband and I decided early on in our marriage to deliberately cultivate traditions. We had one or two of our own before the kids were born and then added to them yearly. We have collected a solid stash of them in these 20-some years, from candlelight dinner every Saturday night, to the bedtime reading ritual, to taping numbers all around the house each birthday eve in celebration of a child’s new age. ...

But what happens when our kids outgrow the traditions, or just don’t want to take part? Come on over to Simple Homeschool to read the rest of my post!

Thursday Miscellany

2011-12-15T08:54:00.003-05:00

* I love my quiet mornings. I do the same thing every single morning: make coffee, eat a banana, spend a little devotional time, watch the sunrise, read what's happening on Facebook, drink coffee, scan a few blogs. The cat usually curls up at my feet and snores. December is even better, because I have the Christmas tree lights and the fireplace to heighten the utter joy of a quiet morning.

* I get a little grumpy when I don't get my morning routine, but that's rare. I just really need 30 minutes or so of alone time before someone starts talking to me.

* Every year our American Heritage Girls troop sells citrus for our one big fundraiser. Yesterday the semi-truck from Florida delivered the fruit, I (along with a few others) spent the day unloading boxes of citrus and then loading them into people's trunks. I seriously was ready for bed by 6 p.m. This morning, my arms are actually sore. I need to start strength training again!

* Speaking of exercise, Randy and I are still running together 2-3 times each week. We ran 5Ks in October, November, and December and have another in mind to run in late January. I am really proud of us, plus we get 45 minutes of conversation, without interruption, 2-3 times each week.

* Speaking of citrus, we now have boxes of grapefruit and naval oranges and YUM! I love grapefruit so much. When I was in college, I ate grapefruit every single day, and I don't think I ever got sick. Plus, I was really skinny.

* We only have two days of school left before our Christmas break starts. Tomorrow we are headed to Chattanooga to the Challenger Mission Center, for the culmination of a 10-week Voyage to Mars class. I dreamed about it all night—that I forgot the list of kids and their jobs, that someone forgot to come, that we got the time wrong, etc.

* What I really, really want to do is work on our office more. I have the walls and trim finished, so I actually am getting really close. Here's a preview:

Yes, I know it's a fuzzy picture that doesn't represent what is really happening in there. But here is what the room looked like just a few weeks ago. I really want to paint the desk, so that I can bring the sewing machine over, so that I can sew curtains for the window and for the cabinets, so that I can finish deciding on my color scheme, so that I can buy a chair, etc. BUT I am determined to get this pit of a house cleaned up and finish putting up the Christmas decor first.

* Speaking of Christmas decorations, I have to say this. While I enjoy and am jealous of all of these beautifully decorated homes on various Christmas Tour of Homes dealies all over the blogworld (like this one at the Nester), my question is: where do these people put their children? All of these houses are so lovely and neat and so...sterile looking. Are the kids allowed to move the carefully arranged 12-candle greenery thingy on the coffee table so that they can spread out their Lego guys? Where are the Lego guys that should be dangling off the mantel on a string? And where are all the messy, gluey ornaments that the kids made? And where is the RED, for Pete's sake? Why does everyone use white and blue? Obviously, I do obsessively view the houses on the tours and I "pin" a lot of ideas on Pinterest. But I have to admit: I breathe a huge sigh of happiness when I come across a really tacky house on the tours: one that uses red, green, fake snow, ugly Santas, and stockings that don't match. I would feel at home there.

* And now, my quiet time is over. I have muffins to make and dishes to wash, counters to clear and laundry to fold, and those sweet children to teach.

Double Ambrosia

2011-12-14T08:27:00.004-05:00

My nephew came home to Tennessee for Christmas. He works with my 4th brother on his farm, Indian Creek, in Ithaca, New York. Look at those lovelies that he brought for us. This is the kind of stuff I was raised on. I absolutely cannot choke down cider from the local grocery stores. It is so icky. But this..... this is, truly, orchard ambrosia. Unfortunately, we already drank it all.

And have you ever had fresh Brussels sprouts that you pluck off the stem? Amazing. If sprouts intimidate you, or you have only had overcooked, mushy ones, please try again. Even the ones that you get in the fresh food aisle in the grocery store can be made delicious with this recipe below!

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

1 1/2 pounds Brussels sprouts, ends trimmed and yellow leaves removed
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C).
Place trimmed Brussels sprouts, olive oil, kosher salt, and pepper in a large resealable plastic bag. Seal tightly, and shake to coat. Pour onto a baking sheet, and place on center oven rack.
Roast in the preheated oven for 30 to 45 minutes, shaking pan every 5 to 7 minutes for even browning. Reduce heat when necessary to prevent burning. Brussels sprouts should be darkest brown, almost black, when done. Adjust seasoning with kosher salt, if necessary. Serve immediately.

Linked up with Tasty Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday, and 5 Minutes for Mom.

SmallWorld

Good Mom

Black History Month: Children's Books and Unit Studies on Slavery

Superbowl Sunday Miscellany

Show Us Your Day-in-the-Life

Colored Glass

The End of the Birthday Parties

Weekly Wrap-Up

My Day-in-the-Life Post

On the Menu (with Oven Chicken Stew recipe)

Quiet

Comforter

The Great Room Redo: Dresser Spruce-up

Weekly Wrap-Up

Facebook and Your Teen

Top Ten Reads of 2011

Sifting Through a Life

Top Posts of 2011

Waiting, Arrival, Heroes

Great Room Redo, continued

Best Christmas Present Ever

Perfection

The Good Things Could Fill a Book

Keeping the Obligation Out of Tradition (A Simple Homeschool Post)

Thursday Miscellany

Double Ambrosia