Mama Days

Gymnastics and Thankfulness

2016-03-01T19:52:00.002-05:00

I was sitting at gymnastics tonight, surrounded by other moms and dads. I didn't know anyone. I was trying to wrangle my two year old, who seemed to be wanting to get into everything he shouldn't be. I was in a sweatpants and hoodie, looking pretty rough.
On one side of me was a group of parents who knew each other. The woman next to me had positioned herself with her back to me, chatting with her friends loudly.
On the other side of me was a nicely dressed professional woman, whom I soon gathered was a lawyer, after she pulled out a newsletter about court summaries. She was sitting next to another beautiful mom with an infant. This is the kind of mom that I'm pretty sure she never doesn't look pretty. You know the kind I mean. This mom had casually mentioned how she only brings her son to gymnastics about every other week, because it's hard for them to arrive in time for the class. They were chatting, and it was a very small space so naturally I could hear their conversation. The lawyer mom was mentioning how she has her own firm, after leaving her previous job working for a "prick." She explained she now has her own employees and she gives them bonuses and she loves being the boss that is loved by her employees. The conversation then turned to schooling for their children. They were both discussing the private schools they have been investigating and the pros and cons of each of them.
When will the class be over? Can I leave yet? Time seemed to stand still and all I wanted to do was get out of there. I was feeling very out of place, and took a lot of energy to not run for the door.
And just as I was getting the boys ready to leave, relieved I would soon be able to leave this place that had me feeling so down, I then ran into a very sweet mom I knew who had recently moved out of our little townhome community to a bigger single family house. I asked her how they were doing in their new house, and she raved about how nice it is to have so much space. She said she can't believe how blessed they are.
I had already been feeling down, stressed, today. I've been feeling overwhelmed with grad school and working part time, and the financial stress of now paying for day care for my 2 year old. In my stress, I have been thinking, maybe I should just go to work full time for the financial benefits. But how will I get everything done if I work full time? School, internships, mom and wife stuff, how? How? I'm not that strong! In the car on the way to gymmastics, I asked the boys about how much they really like gymnastics. I was trying to gage if it's worth it, spending a pretty penny each month for this hobby. (Gymnastics is not cheap!)
I was feeling pretty down. Must be nice that these other moms don't even seemingly have to worry about the cost of these activities. In fact, they pay for it and don't even show up half the time. Must be nice. Oh and how I would love a house with just a little more space. Would be so nice to be able to move into a bigger house. But that's not going to happen. I was overall, feeling quite pathetic and feeling very sorry for myself.
We got home, I threw some mac and cheese on the stove. The boys began eating. And then Benjamin said, "Mommy, you know what? This house has everything we need. It has a stove, it has food, it has milk, a door, books, it has a baby and a Mommy and a Daddy. It has everything we need."
Wow. How could I have been so ungrateful? How could I forget to see that my life is so very full? He did not know what I had been feeling. Yet, he said exactly what I needed to hear. I feel ashamed of my selfish ungratefulness. But I am so very thankful that God used my very wise and sweet son to deliver that message straight to my heart. Thank you, God, for snapping me out of my funk and reminding me of all of my blessings. Thank you, God, for each of my sweet blessings.

How the Health Care System Fails Addicts

2015-08-17T10:20:00.001-04:00

For everyone who writes off people with addiction... for everyone who gets frustrated with drug users and doesn't give them a second glance... For people who get frustrated with addicts for not "just going to rehab and getting their act together..."

Imagine how it feels to have (or to BE) a patient who tearfully admits they need help. You work all day... maybe even for days and days... to find a bed at a rehab that participates with that patients health insurance. Oh and if we do find a bed, your insurance only covers x amount so you'll still have hundreds and hundreds of dollars to pay out of pocket. ...Only to tell them, "I'm sorry, you're medically stable, you can't stay in the hospital anymore, and there isn't a rehab bed within 4 hours that participates with your insurance. I'm sorry. We can put you on their waiting list but it's 3 weeks long." (Three weeks is an eternity for an addict that has just detoxed at an acute care hospital.)

Or, worse yet, you have a patient that was admitted to the hospital after an overdose, wants rehab desperately, but their addiction has cost them their job, their savings, their family. They have no social support. They have no insurance. And you tell them that it's going to be thousands of dollars out of pocket to get the help they need. If we can even find a bed that will take someone without insurance. They laugh, because, who has that kind of money? Then they cry because this was their last hope.

Do you know how helpless it feels as a social worker to not be able to provide that desperate person with the help they are requesting? With the help they need in order to stay alive?

I don't know the solution. I know there isn't a clear-cut answer. But something needs to change.

"Now, a couple of parents who lost their son to a heroin overdose are pointing out that drug addiction doesn't tend to be treated like a disease in the United States — which means that when drug users want to get treatment, health insurance coverage often comes up short.
And until the prevailing thinking changes, these parents say, progress will only be made on the edges."
--Source

(Source: NPR)

Noah's Birth Story

2013-12-12T19:01:00.000-05:00

Noah's birth story is a little bit hard to begin, because I began having contractions probably 2 weeks before his due date (he was due December 6th). I had contractions several sporadic nights, and thought "this is it." And everyone says that with your 3rd baby, things will most definitely move quickly. So I was extra vigilant and excitable with the contractions. I did not want to have my baby at home (home birth is NOT for me).

Keep in mind, my other 2 sons were born after their due dates. So, I naturally expected this little man to come after Dec. 6th. (In fact, my guess was Dec. 12th.)

I was also worried about what to do if I needed to get the hospital quickly in the middle of the night. We do not have local family and not really anyone to call and say, "Hey, can you come over here ... at 2am... and sit in our house while our kids are sleeping while we go to the hospital to have a baby?" So with the night time contractions, in the weeks prior to his due date, I was anxious with each contraction. Because they were real contractions, I was convinced they were "doing something" and progressing me towards having my sweet little baby.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Fast forward a week or so. Thanksgiving arrives. Thanksgiving was 8 days before my due date. We could not travel to see family, and being so pregnant, I was not wanting to host a meal at my home, either. So we opted to have an "easy" Thanksgiving and make reservations at a local restaurant, and have my family come up to spend the day with us. We had 2pm reservations, and as we were loading up the car to get to the restaurant, the contractions started back up. (I told my brother and family that I started having contractions, and my older brother's response was, "That's greeeaaaat. Tell me more about your vagina." Haha!) At this point, the contractions were uncomfortable and irritating. I had had enough of these false alarms. Contractions did not let up all day and into the evening. My family left to return home (they live about 1.5 hours away from us), and I said something to the effect of, "You guys might have to turn around and come back up if these contractions don't stop." (My mom and dad were planning on coming up to take care of the kids for a couple of days when it was hospital time.)

I texted my mom that evening that the contractions were every 5 minutes apart or so, and that maybe they should come up now, because "I think this is it." Friday, they had off work, so it turned out to be a good time to come up.

Friday, November 29, 2013

In the wee hours of Friday morning, I called the doctor (at the hospital) to see if I should come in, because contractions were definitely close together. They just weren't very hard yet. I felt as if things were progressing. I went into Labor and Delivery Friday at around 1am to get checked out. No dilation. Definitely regular contractions (between every 2-7 minutes), just no dilation. We were sent home to wait more.

Friday morning, I had a doctor's appointment at 11am. I was 1-2 cm dilated. I was again sent home to wait.

Contractions continued all day Friday...

Saturday, November 30, 2013

...And all day Saturday...

I was becoming very discouraged. My parents were able to still stay with us, seeing as how it was the weekend, but I was growing more and more anxious as the weekend was ticking away, and I knew if baby didn't come out soon, my parents would soon have to go back home.

We tried to carry on a nice visit. We settled in to watch a movie (Family Man) Saturday evening. We didn't get very far into it before I announced to the room, "MY WATER JUST BROKE!" as I was laying on the couch! My mom, dad, and husband all stood up out of their seats and just stared at me, frozen! Keith was freaking out a little bit... My water never broke before with my other 2 (the docs had to break my water with them at the hospital)... so we were all super shocked and excited.

I was so relieved to finally know that I had to go to the hospital. THIS WAS IT. Finally! They wouldn't make me go home and wait it out this time!

Keith and I arrived at the hospital somewhere around 10pm Saturday night. Just before 11pm, I was checked and I was only 3cm dilated and about 75% effaced. After all those days of labor, I was still only 3 cm dilated! I was very frustrated, but I knew I would have the baby and they wouldn't make me go home now that my water broke, so I was comforted in that.

They started my IV for fluids and for my antibiotics (I was GBS positive). Can I tell you that this was probably the most painful part of my labor and delivery?! They couldn't find a good vein to get my IV going in. They had to put it in the bony part of my wrist! It hurt so bad. But what was even worse? The penicillin going into my arm. She warned me it was going to "burn" and would be "uncomfortable" because they needed to give me a large bolus dose at first. But she didn't tell me it was going to feel like my arm was literally being burned off without anesthesia. I think I sort of yelled at the nurse to make it stop. I swear it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. She slowed down the IV a little bit and it helped a little bit, but man, it HURT. I had IV antibiotics with my 2nd son during labor, and it did NOT hurt!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

I can't remember the exact timeline of how things happened throughout the early morning hours.

I remember after a couple of hours of no progression, they wanted to start Pitocin, a low dose. I was okay with this, seeing as how I had been in labor for days already, and my water broke naturally, and I still wasn't progressing. My body had had quite a lot of time to get things moving on its own, and it was obvious to me that my body needed a little help.

And not long after I started Pitocin, I requested the epidural. My nurse said they may not let me have the epidural yet, seeing as how I was only 3 cm still. But I was persistent and told the nurse that I needed pain management of some sort. She suggested possibly trying some Stadol in the meantime. But when the doc came in to check on me, she said the epidural was fine. So I got the epidural, and I was very comfortable from that point forward. I am pretty sure I was practically hitting on the anesthesiologist, telling him how wonderful he was, and how awesome his job must be... to make women so happy.

After several hours of Pitocin, and slowly increasing the dosage, I remember the nurses coming in several times saying things like, "I'm not loving how baby is responding to the Pitocin," and "his heartrate is dropping a little with the contractions so we are going to hold off on increasing the Pitocin." Of course, throughout the early morning hours, I was trying to doze off a little bit so that I would have energy for pushing. So the timeline is a little foggy.

The doc and nurses thought I would start pushing soon around 6:30am, because I was progressing with the Pitocin. Around 7:30am, I was still only 7cm dilated. They were still concerned about the baby's oxygen and heart rate level. They had me put on an oxygen mask and try different positions to get better oxygen flow to the baby.

Soon after this, I was progressing quickly and dilated fully. I felt the urge to push and Noah James arrived on this earth at 8:28am, after just 3 contractions of pushing!

He came out with the cord around his neck.

He didn't cry when he came out. I was immediately asking why he wasn't crying and if he was okay. And he was! He just chose not to wail when he came out! He was perfectly healthy and wide-eyed!

The doctor said it was a good thing he came out in just 3 contractions because he may not have tolerated a lot of pushing, with the cord around his neck. I was very thankful he came out quickly, too. The labor had been long enough!

Tears of JOY!

Noah James

Born Sunday, December 1, 2013

8:28am

7 lbs 9 oz.

He latched onto the breast right away, and has nursed beautifully since. He is an angel, and he is very loved by his 2 big brothers!

I am so blessed to have 3 healthy boys!

Baby Boy #3: We Welcome ...

2013-12-06T19:17:00.003-05:00

Noah James!

Born Sunday December 1, 2013 at 8:28am

7 pounds 9 ounces

...And he's PERFECT!

Birth story to come!

Birth Stories Series: Resourceful Red's Birth Story

2011-03-06T20:06:00.008-05:00

About Our Guest Writer

Resourceful Red is a 25 year old, eco-consious, part-time working mama to a wonderful, adventurous 16month old Baby Boy. She has a wonderful, supportive, and loving husband to whom she refers to as Hubbs in her blog, Resourceful Red. She believes that enjoying each moment, praising God, and supportive and loving family are the key components to happy life. Follow her little eco-friendly journey at http://resourcefulred.blogspot.com

The Birth of Baby Boy

It started Thursday afternoon, I was having really strong contractions, but randomly. They continued throughout the day and then stopped at night time. I thought for sure that I was in labor that day, but apparently not.

Friday I woke up without any signs of labor. The calmness ceased around noon when the random contractions started again. I had begun to feel pretty crappy as the day went on, tired, lethargic, nauseated. Then the contractions stopped again, lovely.

Saturday morning I woke up to bloody show. Not sure why on earth they call it a bloody show, but if I were to re term it, it would be called gross, just plain gross.

Hubbs and I took several walks that day & then tried to relax a bit. The contractions were still around throughout the day, sporadically though, and then again at night time they stopped.

By Sunday I was just miserable!! I lounged all day, walked a bit, had no appetite, and no contractions. So my wonderful husband pulled the day bed mattress into the living room and we watched movies all day. It was nice!

Monday morning I woke up at 4am with terribly strong contractions. I turned on the computer and began to time them, about 5-7 mins apart. I asked Hubbs to call off work because I just wanted him home with me since I was feeling crappy. By 4:45am the contractions were coming strong and every 3 mins apart. We decided it was TIME!!!

I hopped in the shower (DH didn't think it was necessary, but I desperately wanted to), got dressed, and we drove off to the hospital.We got to the labor & delivery unit and the contractions were still really strong, but I was only 2 cm dilated. The medical staff asked us to walk around the hallways to try to progress. After about 25mins of walking, I started to get sick. At this time a nurse walked in, took a look at me and said "honey, we are going to admit you. You are definitely in labor."

Hooray!! We were going to meet our little son or little daughter today!!

At the time I was admitted, we were escorted to our birthing suite and I was checked again; 4cms! The birthing suite was gorgeous. I was fortunate to have access to my own private jacuzzi, birthing ball, and the comfort of calm lighting. Once we got settled I labored on the birthing ball for awhile. This seemed to ease some of the back pain I was having. About a half hour later I moved into the jacuzzi. It was magical!

My midwife arrived at the hospital around 10 am. At this time she checked me and I was 6cm. She suggested that if I wanted my epidural that we do so now. 15mins after the epi, my midwife broke my water and advised me to try and relax.

Once the epi kicked in I was pretty much in heaven. I relaxed for a little bit with the lights down and tried to get some rest.

I became fully dilated by quarter til 1. We tried some practice pushes and then my midwife decided to allow me to rest a bit longer.

We began pushing again at 1:45. Really glad I did alot of ab work growing up because strong ab muscles certainly paid off!

After about an hour of pushing the baby's heart rate began to get to high and his/her head wasn't coming any further down. My midwife told me he was facing upward, instead of toward my back & that she thought we may have to use the vacuum to get him out. I did NOT want any sort of tools used on me. My biggest fear was having an episiotomy.

They called the OBGYN in. My midwife gave me an episitomy (which I SO didn't want) and the OB went in and turned the baby so that it was facing the correct way, during a contraction. That was a lovely sight :(

The baby's heart rate continued to race and she informed me that they would be using the vacuum. To which I told her no, I was going to get this little one out on my own.

She said I had 5mins to do so.

My answer to that, "let's do this."

2 contractions and 6 pushes later, our sweet baby boy arrived!!

Baby Boy was born November 9, 2009; 7lbs, 9oz. 19in.

To me, labor and delivery were much different and (ready for this ) easier than my entire pregnancy. I was so sick throughout my pregnancy, that I was just relieved to be having my baby that day.

Our baby boy is now 16 months and a true blessing from God.

Birth Stories Series: Jennifer's Story of Rosemary's Birth

2011-03-04T11:54:00.006-05:00

Guest Writer, Jennifer Jacobs

Rosemary Caroline

born November 22, 2010 at 7:48 PM

Ephrata Community Hospital

6 pounds, 13 ounces

20.25 inches long

Hi, I am Jennifer mother to Rosemary and wife to Jason. Jason and I had been married four years when we decided to try for a little one. We got pregnant right away in September of 2009, but sadly had a miscarriage in November of 2009. We waited a few months before trying again. I did a fair amount of praying as well as yelling at God. It was probably the hardest time of my life. When we were ready we were quickly blessed with a Valentine’s Day conception! I had a few scares during the pregnancy early on, but overall it was uneventful. I had very little sickness, very little discomfort and was able to remain reasonably active. Jason and I planned a Bradley method natural birth in a birth center. Our story just goes to show that plans don’t always go the way you’d like!

I went into labor on Friday, November 19 in the evening. I was having irregular contractions. I had had 24 hours of contractions the week before (my due date) and got overly excited and nothing happened, so this time I did not get excited. I was determined to act as if nothing were happening. Since I was one week late my midwife ordered a non stress test and biophysical profile. Both were perfect so my husband and I went to see Harry Potter and enjoyed it. I didn't sleep well that night since the contractions were worse when I lay down. They were about ten to twenty minutes apart. By Saturday morning they had basically gone away. I had sporadic contractions all day Saturday. Saturday night they were again relatively regular at about 10 minutes apart. They were more painful than Friday night and again I got little sleep. Sunday morning they disappeared again and I was getting frustrated since I was then nine days overdue and nothing seemed to be happening. Sunday night they started getting really painful to the point where I had to moan through some of them. I called our doula and put her on alert. She told me to get some rest. Haha! I tried. Contractions all night Sunday were 5 minutes apart and they hurt, but not to the point where I could not walk or talk through them. I was now going on three days with almost no sleep. I called my midwife in tears when they again spaced out in the morning. She had me come in and did a vaginal exam showing me at 2 cm. I cried.

They sent me to the hospital for another NST and BPP and possibly some therapeutic rest. This one did not go as well as the one on Friday. The fluid was very low and my daughter was not reacting well to the contractions. They decided to admit me to the hospital instead of allowing the birth center birth I had hoped for. My midwife asked if I had any questions and I said, “Can I have something to eat!” I hadn’t had anything since breakfast at 6 AM and it was now almost 1! My midwife made sure I got a full meal before admittance since hospital policy did not allow eating during labor. She stayed pretty hands off for the next 6 hours. I had only one vaginal exam during that time showing me at 3 cm. My contractions were still irregular and not very painful. I tried to rest, but at this point I was just too excited.

My husband and my doula made sure to remind the nurse to keep the fetal monitoring intermittent so that I was able to get up and move around as much as possible. As time passed the contractions got more painful, but still not to the point where I could not walk/talk through them. My husband and I spent some time talking. We walked up and down the halls. Our doula got me permission to be out of the bed even when on the monitor so I could sit on a birth ball rather than lying down. That made massage a bit easier. My husband was great about telling me how well I was doing, making sure I was drinking water and generally keeping things positive. He even held the monitor in place when it was being stubborn so that I could still stay on the birth ball during monitoring time.

I felt at this point that I was heading into labor land. I had been at the hospital for about 6 hours. Then our daughter started showing signs of distress during contractions. As they got more painful she had sharper decelerations of her heart rate. Upon examination I had progressed to 4 centimeters. My midwife considered pitocin and breaking my water, but I was hesitant to try those things considering my daughter was already having difficulty handling my relatively minor contractions and those interventions would just make them worse. The doctor on call determined that a c-section was necessary considering I had been laboring for 72 hours with little progress and still inconsistent contractions along with the already low fluid and the decels. My husband asked about how soon I would be able to breastfeed our daughter and made sure they knew our requests on the birth plan. Unfortunately hospital policy did not allow those things until I was out of recovery. I wish I had had my wits about me a bit more so that I could have pressed to hold my daughter (or rather have my husband hold her on my chest) right away.

A lot happened over the next few minutes. My contractions decided to pick up speed and pain, the nurse pressed the monitor hard into my belly during every contraction since she was having trouble finding the heart beat (boy did that hurt), I had to sign papers agreeing to a spinal, I got a spinal, I made friends with a nurse anesthetist who was the only person besides my husband who was there for ME! It was crazy! My daughter was born 30 minutes later at 7:48 PM via c-section. She had the cord wrapped around her neck twice which was preventing her decent as well as causing the decels. She also had a lot of meconium in the fluid. Despite all of that both of her apgar scores were 9! I was not able to have the immediate skin to skin contact I wanted, but my husband brought our daughter over to me so I could pat and kiss her and held her near me until the nurse practically had to drag them both to the nursery. He did all he could to keep me informed of everything going on. I didn't get to hold my daughter until two hours later, but she took to breastfeeding right away and seemed so relieved to be with me.

We learned a lot from our experience. It was not at all the experience I wanted-especially missing out on the skin to skin contact and immediate breastfeeding. However, I am thankful for the Bradley classes and knowing about all the interventions that may come up and being able to make an informed decision about how to proceed even though we didn't reach our goal of a natural birth.

Birth Stories Series: Jenn's Story of Max's Birth

2011-03-03T08:16:00.002-05:00

Guest Writer, Jenn Weitkamp

My name is Jenn, I am a Mommy to an amazing little fellow named Max, and am married to the absolute love of my life. Getting pregnant with our little bundle came at the most hectic time in my life. In addition to working a full time job, I was in school full time finishing my up my bachelors degree, caring for my ill father, and had just started the process of buying our home. Not noticing anything amiss when I was feeling tired and run down, it wasn’t until I noticed I was a month late that everything clicked into place. Even though it might not have been perfect timing in my mind, it was perfect timing in someone else’s eyes.

40 weeks came and went with no signs of labor. Thankfully this was alright with me as I was just finishing up finals. At about 40 weeks and three days I started having mild cramps, it was really nothing painful, just mildly annoying, and I figured that it was par for the course. That night, those mild cramps became more intense, and through out the entire night I was up and down up and down. At my previous appointment, my doc had said not to call unless contractions were regular. Well these were anything but regular, some lasted 10 second, some lasted upwards of 2 minutes. Sometimes they came every 20 minutes, some came ever 3 minutes. Not realizing that labor is different for everyone, I figured that I was not actually in labor.

Since these contractions kept coming, I decided to call off work that day. I remember I spent the entire day “nesting” , scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, driving to the store to make get incredients to make lasagna. My husband would call periodically to check on me, and I just remember telling him that everything was fine, and I would get checked up at my appointment that evening. Fast forward a few hours and I was at my regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment. Everything was status quo, and my doctor said that if nothing else happened we would schedule an induction for this coming Tuesday. Before getting ready to send me home she casually said “ Oh I guess I better check to see if your dialated or not” While checking me she gave me this ridiculous look and said “ You better go home and get your bags, your having a baby tonight, your 5 centimeters dialated!”

When I got outside, my husband was waiting for me in the car and when I told him we were having a baby tonight he barely believed me! We went home, got out bags, and headed to the hospital at about 6:45pm. By the time I had gotten settled in my hospital room and got my IV in ( which might I add was horrific, it took 5 different people to get it started and my arms were covered in bruises, not something you want to go through when your having contractions!) I was up to 7 centimeters. I decided since things were going so quickly I had better get my epidural now, which I did. Even though it didn’t completely take the pain away, I was sure glad I had it.

Around 9:30 the doctor came in and said he was going to break my water. At that point my mother in law and Mom left to grab some dinner in the hospital’s diner, thinking they had plenty of time befor the arrival of our little guy. When the doctor broke my water it ended up having Meconium in it. They explained that due to this, there wouldbe some extra people in the room during delivery just to make sure. About 30 minutes later, after vomiting several times, the nurse came in to check on me and ask me how I was doing. I told her I felt like I needed to push. She had the doctor come in about 15 minutes later, and they told me I was at 10. The next 20 minutes ( yes 20 minutes) were a blur. I remember the nurse trying to encourage me by saying “ Lets push this baby out before change of shift!” I remembered thinking “Well that only gives me about 15 minutes because its almost 11 o’ clock!” Sure enough, about 15 minutes later the love of my life came into the world, weighing in a 7 lbs 14 oz and 19 ¾ inches long. I remember feeling this rush of adrenaline, and this incredible love for that tiny little boy.

Unfortunately at some point the doctor ended up having to give me an episiotomy, which was certainly not fun by any means. After getting to hold my Max, he was taken away to the nursery so I could get cleaned up and transferred to our regular room. At this point I was exhausted, and told that once Maxy had been weighed and cleaned up they would bring him in with us. Once we got into our room, I laid down in the bed and fell asleep.

Around 3:30 am I woke up, and realized that they had not yet brought Max into the room. It made me panic and I called nurse. Evidently while in the nursery Max had a moment where he had difficulty breathing, and had looked a little dusky. Luckily he was doing OK, but they wanted to monitor him a little longer before bringing him back in. A few hours later we were reunited, and he has been healthy and growing ever since.

Birth Stories Series: Kristen's Story of Elliana's Birth

2011-03-02T09:36:00.007-05:00

Guest Writer, Kristen Slabaugh

It’s a GIRL!

Elliana Riain

Born Friday Jan 28, 2011

8:27am

6lb 13.6oz

19 ¼ in long

Due date: Jan 23, 2011 (40+5 weeks)

My name is Kristen and I am a first-time mom…and a labor and delivery nurse whose goal was to work as long as possible. Mission accomplished.

Pregnancy didn’t come easy for us. First of all, it took me 5 years of begging and pleading to convince my husband that a baby needed to be in our future. Not that he never wanted children, just the thought of having one “right now” didn’t sit right. Eventually I realized that he was right (as was God) and decided that if I was ever going to go to grad school, it needed to be before this baby thing happened. So, after 3 years of full-time school and work (read: 7 days a week, 8-12 hrs a day), I felt I earned my reward! At the beginning of my final year of grad school we began trying, hoping to be due at the end of the school year and have a baby in between jobs. God had other plans…but I didn’t ;) I was determined to be waddling across the graduation stage. In fact, that was my motivation to keep going and make it to graduation. After 11 months of trying, graduation was quickly approaching…but a baby wasn’t. I couldn’t bear the thought of being at graduation without a growing little peanut in my belly so we decided to save our money and go on vacation with my 10 days off instead. Hawaii, here we come! Much to my surprise, and to prove God’s incredible sense of humor, it was the very day of graduation that we finally saw the long awaited 2 pink lines!

40 weeks later, my little peanut wasn’t so little anymore and I was ready to meet him or her. We decided to keep the gender a surprise figuring that you don’t really get that many good surprises in life anymore. I continued to work and can recall quite clearly several days where I was more pregnant than every laboring patient on our unit. Talk about depressing. I had an induction scheduled for 41 weeks but was determined to do anything I could to get that baby out before that….not that I had any control over it. I’d been telling my husband for over a month that 40 weeks and 4 days was going to be when I went into labor. I was so sure of it that we put it on the calendar. Don’t ask me how I knew. It came to me in the shower and my sister said all good things come to you in the shower. So it was. On my third 12-hr shift of the week, Thurs Jan 27^th, 40.4 weeks pregnant, I was totally exhausted but making it through my very last day of work, regardless of when labor would finally happen. Induction was scheduled for the next day, Friday evening. I had my cervix checked at the doctor’s office the day before and she stripped my membranes. 3cm. At least I had a decent start point, I told myself. I was sort of uncomfortable all day on Thursday and was very ready to be done and meet my sweet little child. I was crampy all morning. My husband called me at work that day around noon to see if I would need him in the next 5 hours. My immediate response was to ask if it had anything to do with a 4hr ski pass. Of course it did. I felt no labor coming at that point and even if I did, my coworkers would take good care of me. Around 4pm I started contracting, my usual afternoon routine. This time was a little different though and by the end of my shift at 7pm I was having difficulty talking through them. I had one of the doctors check me before I left, 4cm. Good, I’m going home to rest a little and do this work at home. A 30 minute commute was never longer. By the time I got home, I think I was doing 80mph as I could not bear to have another contraction in the car without wrecking. I was excited to walk in the door and tell Ben that I thought this was really happening…on the day I predicted! By 9pm I could do nothing but be on my hands and knees with every contraction and decided to try to take a bath to relax, quickly realizing that I was not about to get any rest. Ben, who complained about being exhausted from skiing, went to lay down. I told him if he was going to do it, now was his chance. After about 30 minutes in the tub I just couldn’t sit any longer and stood up to fluid running down my leg. Yep…my water broke, just a slight trickle. I decided one hour wouldn’t make a difference, plus I knew there were no rooms at the inn (of L&D) when I left. I let Ben sleep till 10:30 and woke him up to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. He asked if my contractions were any stronger. “Not really, I wish we didn’t have to go in yet.” His response: well then let’s just wait..as he rolled back over to snooze. I think he realized I was serious when I quickly snapped back “should I just call you when the baby is out?”

A quick shower and stop at the gas station later, we arrived at the hospital…to find that they had no rooms. We were placed in an exam room across the hall from L&D on an exam table similar to a doctors office. Verdict? Yes water was leaking, but still 4cm. Ugh! I was certainly hoping for 5-6cm after all that contracting. I could not sit on the table so we began walking the halls. And walking, and walking. Around 12:30am I had a mega contraction, felt a pop, and a HUGE gush of fluid. Yep, the rest of my water broke. More like exploded. And from there on out, we were in a different ballpark. I could do nothing but rock on my hands and knees or stand up, bent over during a contraction to control a horrible pain just above my right hip. Vomiting, shaking, and moaning were now uncontrollable. Ben called for the nurse to give me something for nausea and pain and she sent me to a “real” room that was in the process of being mopped. That poor housekeeper was trying to finish so fast. I asked them to check me again before we did anything and was TOTALLY disappointed to hear “4cm” again. SERIOUSLY!? This has now been going for 10 hours with NO CHANGE!?! I decided to take a dose of stadol. Good idea.

2 hours later when that wore off around 2:30am, I decided that I HAD to be dilating and asked them to check me. You guessed it…4cm. I sprang forward and yelled “what is wrong with me!?!” I was SURE I was in transitional labor. And the poor doctor at the foot of my bed? Yep, one of my good friends and coworkers. I decided that if I was going to be 4cm forever that I needed an epidural. I have now been contracting for 12 hours and awake for almost 24 since this started in the middle of my 12hr shift. I thought maybe if I could get my body to relax the baby would drop and then I would start dilating. The epidural certainly helped but that right-sided hip pain never went away. 2 hours later…4cm. Seriously. I requested pitocin. Only an L&D nurse would do that. This couldn’t go on forever. About 20 minutes later I can hear the baby’s heart rate at about 70 (normal for a fetus is 120-160) and the team rushed in to turn me, put oxygen on, give IV fluids, and check my cervix. FINALLY 5cm. Geez. By this rate I’ll be delivered by April. After the heart rate returned to normal I realized that finally the pain on my right side was gone! Hallelujah, hopefully the baby has turned and rolled into position! 45 minutes later, another drop in the heart rate which triggered a cervical exam. I started bawling when I heard my nurse say, “Oh that’s why!! You’re complete!!!” Thank you, Jesus! “Get it together, Kristen, you still have to push this baby out” is what I told myself. Who does that!?

Pushing was tiring but thankfully only lasted for about 50 minutes. It was the most amazing thing ever when some of my favorite doctor and nurse coworkers were cheering with us as our little one finally arrived. Of course as soon as it was out, I sprang forward to see between the legs..and everyone started screaming and clapping. Nobody actually ever yelled out the gender and my poor husband, not knowing how these events go, had no clue what it was. She was quickly placed on my belly, me sobbing, room full of tears and clapping, someone shouted “what’s her name!!??” Finally poor Ben knew, it’s a girl!

Unfortunately, miss Elli decided to come out with her arm across her chest and hand beside her face, doing a number for my bottom. Fortunately, I couldn’t have cared less at that moment, I was finally holding my angel! Thankfully, Elli was tired too, and that afternoon we were able to get about 2 hours of sleep which felt like an eternity and entertained visitors for the weekend before heading home on Sunday. It’s absolutely unbelievable how much you can love someone you’ve only known for minutes..and that you love them more each day. Who knew!?

Of course, as always, God knew best. His timing was perfect. The job situation is still up in the air but I’m confident that it’ll all come together in perfect timing. Guess I learned how to trust ! And boy (or girl!) was it worth it!

Note: Photos are property of Benjamin Slabaugh, photographer

Birth Stories Series: Rebecca's Story of Natalya's Birth

2011-03-01T08:11:00.008-05:00

Guest Writer, Rebecca Hope

My story is different then anyone else I have talked to about giving birth. They always say no one will have the same story to tell because everyone's experiences are different. Mine was just that, different and not what I had planned or expected.

It seemed as though every night I would wake up with horrible contractions and for two months, the doctors told me that my baby could come any day now. I wasn't due til November 1st, but when I went to my regular appointment to the doctors the second week of September, I was told I was going into preterm labor and had to be taken to the hospital to have two sets of steroid shots poked in my butt so that in case the baby needed to come early, her lungs would be strong enough to survive.

So I was on bed-rest since September and had to quit my job and stay at home to make sure nothing else could happen. Like I said, it seemed every night my contractions were getting worse and worse and we would go to the hospital every night thinking the baby was coming and then be set home hours later and exhausted from false alarms.

On the early morning of October 19th, I woke up around 2am in a lot of pain. Tons of pain. I was screaming, punching the wall, and crying. My boyfriend at the time, now husband, asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. I kept telling him no, its ok, they'll just send me home since the baby still had two weeks til she was due.

I then started feeling extremely sick and then started to throw up all over the floor. In the bathroom, bedroom, and living room. I then told him I think I want to go to the hospital. I could barely walk and there was no way he would be able to carry me down the flight of stairs so he started helping me get on my shoes (I was in PJ's) and then as he was going to the door, I threw up all over myself. But we had to go. No time to clean up.

So he got me into the SUV and drove to the hospital. I was trying so hard not to puke all in his car. The pain was horrible. I was pretty much laying on the floor in the front seat. So we got there and a police took me inside while he parked the car. This was around 3am now.

I was in lots of pain and the nurse put me in a triage room and hooked me up to the monitors like they always did. She measured me at 2cm dilated. She left the room and I started feeling really sick. I yelled at my boyfriend (husband) to go get the nurse. He couldn't find her and I couldn't find a trash can so I threw up all over myself again. And then again and again. Finally he found her and she came back and it had only been a few minutes and measured me again and I was now 10cm dilated.

She started calling people and they pushed me out of the room toward the delivery room and she was telling me "You're having a baby right now". I was shocked and scared. I told her I didn't want to have the baby today. I wasn't ready yet. i had only been to one Lamaze class and that was just an into to getting to know each other. It was too early for the baby. I had a couple weeks left.

I can remember being pushed into the delivery room and it was a huge room. Large tv screens everywhere and 6 nurses and one doctor. I was throwing up so bad. I was laying on my left side and throwing up in a bucket on the side of the bed while they are telling me to push. I remember hearing one guy ask if I wanted the epidural now and the doctor responding, "There isn't any time, its too late, the baby I can already start seeing the head. You are just going to have to push and do this the all natural way".

I was so scared because I can't even take a bee sting. I'm terrified of pain and didn't think i could do this. I was crying and the nurse grabs my face, puts her hand over my mouth and says "Whatever you do, do not open your mouth. Just push when you feel a contraction. Yelling, talking, or screaming will just make it worse".

So I did. Every time I had a contraction, I tried to push. But instead, I just threw up. So every time I threw up, I pushed the baby out more. My boyfriend (husband) held the bucket for me on the side of the bed and held my left leg in the air. I was on my side through the entire delivery. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even open my eyes through the entire time. I kept throwing up until my baby was born. Once she was finally out, I stopped throwing up. Throwing up while delivering was the only way I could do this with no pain killers because it went fast. It was only about 20 mins and then it was over.

Our brand new baby girl

At 4:06am, I had a little girl that was my own. I was asked if I wanted to hold her, but I was in so much pain, I said no. I can't hold her right now. Please give her to her daddy. I still had my eyes closed and I felt the nurse slapping my face and telling me I had to open my eyes. I realized for a second I slipped into a state of shock.

I couldn't move or respond to anything. The pain overtook my body and I just wanted to kill myself. But I finally was able to open my eyes and all the people were gone. Just one nurse left in the room cleaning up the baby and talking to me about how now I had to try and go to the bathroom. OMG, you're kidding right? She said I had to. I went with her and tried and nothing would happen, the pain was too intense. So they had to make me go by other means.

After it was all over, I finally got to hold my baby. She was 2 weeks early, 7 pounds, 6 ounces and we named her Natalya Elise. It took them 4 hours to get a room for me up in the hospital. So we laid in the delivery room until then. This was no ordinary hospital. It was more like a palace for giving birth. It had huge rooms and everything you could ask. it reminded me more of like staying in a hotel.

The rooms at the hospital where we were after the baby was born. The rooms have vaulted ceilings and can accommodate your whole family for visits and stays while mommy and baby rest in bed.

We were taken up to the room and after being there for only a day, they told us it was time to go home. After we left the hospital, I had the realization that I was now responsible for another life and I would never be the same person again. I had now a little baby that was going to be with me forever and ever.

My recovery was a bit hard since the pain stayed with me for a few months. I could not use the bathroom right for anything. the only way I could pee was in the shower with boiling hot water running. Otherwise, I screamed too bad to go. I could not sit down properly for a month and a half because it felt as though needles were poking me and all this pressure as if someone was punching me there.

But months later, the pain went away and I felt normal again and was able to feel like myself again. I don't think I would want to go through childbirth that way again. It was quite an experience to go through it without even Tylenol. Something that I was happy to be done with but got the most precious this out of it in return.

Natalya Elise Hope

Born: October 19th, 2006
Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies
Orlando, Florida
7 pounds 6 ounces
19.5 inches long
Proud Parents: Reggie & Rebecca

Birth Stories Series: Katy's Story of Aidan's Birth

2011-02-28T09:30:00.005-05:00

Birth Stories Series Guest Post

Aidan Daniel

born Tuesday, August 31, 2010

3:11 AM

5 pounds 10 ounces

18 inches long

My name is Katy and I am a first-time mom. Dan is my hero, and Aidan is my little man. Things don’t usually happen as you plan them to, and I guess that is what my birth story is about.

First of all, I have to say that I really loved being pregnant. Morning sickness, which really should have been called “evening sickness” for me, back pain, swollen feet, and the occasional loss of bladder control really was nothing when thinking of the adorable baby boy growing in my belly! I loved my growing tummy, the kicks, the rolls, and even his cute little hiccups in the middle of the night. Dan and I attended all of the essential baby classes vigilantly. The breastfeeding classes, CPR & pediatric care classes, the baby care classes, and last but not least the breathe-while-you-push-out-a-watermelon classes.

My fearless husband was a great support during our nine months of baby growing. He indulged my food cravings, rubbed my feet, took me to the hospital when we thought my water broke at 28 weeks, put together the baby’s nursery furniture, and listened to me talk about my cervix and uterus for weeks on end. He really was great, especially when we got to the birthing class, you know, the class where you think you know what to expect and then your mind gets blown by videos and pictures of women in extreme pain during the transition part of labor. And yes, the stereotypical response of “you did this to me” from a woman in labor towards her husband is apparently real, as we witnessed it in one of the many videos our instructor chose to show us. Now I know that the very nature of labor clearly includes pain. I have been told by doctors and my husband that I have a pretty high pain tolerance. But I will be honest to say that I was even more nervous about labor after the birthing class. Dan, however, was very comforting and told me to just breathe. He really liked the breathing exercises we did and thought I’d feel better if I just did those each day. Uh, yeah right; a watermelon honey, a watermelon! His advice was excellent though – after putting things into perspective again after our quite graphic classes, I did feel better and felt like I could really do the whole labor and pushing thing. I mean, how scary can it be if the end result is a beautiful tiny little baby?

I was resolved then to be flexible, go with the flow, and to do my best when the time came for our baby boy to come. I told all of my friends and family that I didn’t have a birth plan like so many of the books tell you to have. I didn’t have a plan, as long as I didn’t have to be induced or have a c-section, and with more than 2 months until my due date, I figured that plan was a good “non-plan.” But isn’t there a quote that says, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans?” I learned quickly that when it comes to babies and birthing, there is no plan.

The last Friday in August was my 35-week appointment at my OB/GYN. I had been feeling okay that week. I knew I was very swollen all over a few weeks ago when I had to get my wedding rings cut off and the nurse at my doctors office just shook her head and said “poor thing.” But my 33-week appointment was fine so I was in high, although tired, spirits that Friday morning when I went to my appointment. Headaches, heartburn, and swollen ankles were my new best friends that week. They were such best friends in fact that they seemed to hang around constantly. I went through the routine things that you always do at your OB appointments: peeing in a cup, weight check, blood pressure, etc. Previously these routine checks were fine, but not the greatest news this week. Protein was found in my urine, my weight seriously skyrocketed by fifteen pounds in two weeks, and my blood pressure was, well, a bit higher than they would have liked it to be. The doctor I was seeing that say was brand new to the practice, so I had never met her before. I schedule this appointment thinking it’d be a good idea to see her in case she ended up delivering my baby. She double checked my BP, consulted with another doctor, and told me to go to the hospital to get preeclamptic blood work and monitoring done.

I was pretty nervous about going to the hospital alone so I called my faithful man, stopped at his office, and we went to the hospital together. We were taken back to the overflow space, and, since they were slammed with patients, we heard other women in the tough parts of labor screaming just a few curtains over. We stayed there for about 4-5 hours. After the doctor spoke with us about my blood work, BP, and protein levels, we were told to go home. I was to be on bed rest until further notice. Sweet! No laundry! No cleaning bathrooms! Yeah, bed rest is definitely not all it’s cracked up to be. After a few hours of it I was ready to get back to “normal” life. Little did I know, in a few days, life would never be the same again.

That Friday night was rough. I had a headache that Tylenol wouldn’t touch and just didn’t feel right. Saturday morning wasn’t much better, so I called my doctor again and was told to return to the hospital. I had a feeling that there was a good chance that when we came back home we’d have a little baby with us, so we brought the car seat, diaper bag, clothes, music, books, and snacks for Daddy. The next 24 hours were spent monitoring blood pressures, which were up to 190/88, and getting blood work and urine checked. I was also put on magnesium. Have you ever felt like an exhausted, limp, wet dishrag? Then you know what it’s like being on mag.

Sunday afternoon my midwife came in a gave us the news that since I was not improving that we were going to have a baby, while he was still looking strong and healthy on the monitor, hopefully by the next day. I was so tired after nearly 2 nights of barely sleeping, but a burst of adrenaline seemed to pump through me. I couldn’t believe it – this was it! All of the breastfeeding classes and scary birthing videos were going to pay off! We could finally hold and kiss our little one! I was so ready and so excited, and at the same time felt like it was all too surreal. It was August 29^th and our sweet little boy was not due until September 27^th. I asked about the steroid shot that helps lung development in preemie babies but was told that it would not help our baby’s development at that time. I just prayed and prayed that our baby would be healthy and ready to enter the world. Oh, how I prayed that.

Dan and I had decided months before that we wanted my mom with us during labor. She is a labor and delivery nurse and the best mom I could have ever asked for. She came later that evening, bearing delicious gifts for Dan from Chik Fil A, and stayed for a few hours. We knew this was going to be a long labor process so she went home to sleep while Dan and I stayed in our L&D room. My in-laws also brought us some other items from home that we felt we needed now that we knew we were definitely not going home until this baby came!

My midwife had started the induction with gels that afternoon, and then started pitocin. I contracted through the night – nothing too unbearable, but it was difficult to get any good sleep and rest. Poor Dan, all 6’8’’ of him, tried to sleep on a chaise lounge that was in the room. But with nurses coming in frequently and me needing help to the bathroom because of the magnesium, he did not get much sleep. I was awoken to a lovely pelvic exam first thing Monday morning. Surely with all of the contracting that was done the past 12 hours I progressed. I was up to 3 cm, and 80% effaced. I have to say that I was crushed. I really thought I had progressed more than that. My BP was still bad and my blood work results were slowly getting worse. The doctors decided to increase my dosage of pitocin to the maximum level that the hospital will give. At that point we called my mom again and asked her if she could come. This time, she brought coffee! Oh to have been able to have a delicious cup of Starbuck’s coffee! I stuck with popsicles and ice chips.

Around 3 PM that afternoon another doctor from a different practice came in to check on me. At this point I was definitely feeling contractions and was beginning to get uncomfortable with them. He checked me again – 3 cm. The baby still had not really dropped and I was not 100% effaced yet. I was definitely not thrilled by this news, but especially not thrilled with what his plan was for the next 24 hours. He decided he thought it would be best to stop the pitocin for another 24 hours, and then try it again. He also shared that I wasn’t really in labor since I hadn’t asked for any strong medication to ease the pain. Now, I know as labor progresses, pain progressively gets worse, and I knew I wasn’t at the I-want-to-die-give-me-drugs-now stage. But to tell a woman she isn’t labor because she hasn’t asked for an epidural, really? That’s like telling a runner in the middle of a marathon they must not really be running since they haven’t stopped for a break!

When he left the room, needless to say, I completely lost it and had a melt down. I think I was just already exhausted from the 3 previous days, frustrated that I wasn’t progressing as quickly as I thought I should be, and then really upset with Dr. Good Bedside Manners that it all culminated into a cry fest for me. Dan and my mom consoled me and calmed me down, and even requested a better room (mine didn’t have a window…and being in a windowless room for the 3^rd day in a row was somewhat depressing) with a window for me.

After moving to a new room and putting on some NCIS (everyone needs a little Gibbs in their life, and at that moment I wished Gibbs would hunt down Dr. Sensitive and call him a dirt bag), the doctor I had seen on Friday in the OB/GYN office came in to talk about our options. The baby was looking great but I was becoming more and more preeclamptic. She decided that the best step right now was to try and break my water to move things along. For me, this was quite painful, and frankly just uncomfortable. It felt like her entire arm was up near my lungs as she was trying to break my water. She tried for a few minutes with several attempts, but she wasn’t able to get it. So back to pitocin it was. She decided to come back in a few hours to try it again and to check me.

When you’re in labor, especially a slow, prolonged labor, you have to try and catch your sleep while you can. I don’t remember much of the 3 hours that transpired until my doctor would come back to try and part the waters again. And there was much rejoicing when around 8:00 that night it finally worked. Again, one of the weirdest feelings in the world! I didn’t realize that much water could be in a person! Dan just said “Whoa! Cool!” when the doctor broke it. Those were not the words I was thinking of, but everyone’s different, right?

Contractions definitely increased in number, intensity, and frequency over the next few hours. I asked for some meds to take the edge off of the pain and as long as no one talked to me and I didn’t have to talk during a contraction, I was able to handle it. We played a lot of instrumental music at this point – it was just so calming and soothing, and it helped all of us try to get some rest.

Midnight rolled around and my doctor came in to check me again. Nothing. I was still at 3 cm and my sweet baby boy just did not want to come out. He was still moving all around and healthy as ever on the monitor, but this tired mama was just not able to move along through labor. I was on the maximum amount of pitocin, but between the magnesium, which is also used to stop labor and being 4 weeks early, my body was just not responding to the induction. The doctor told us that we could do one of two things. We could stop the induction and try again tomorrow, but with how things were going and my preeclampsia getting worse we would probably end up with a c-section. The other choice we could do would be to go ahead with a c-section that night. I was so tired and after being in labor for 2 days, I was ready for this baby to come. That surreal feeling and adrenaline started up again – now this was it – this was really it!

I had to get more blood work done to see if my platelets were high enough for an epidural. I guess when you have preeclampsia your platelets drastically drop and if they are low enough and you have to get a c-section, you have to be put to sleep. Thank the Lord they came back high enough and the anesthesiologist said that I could have an epidural. We were going to meet our little man!

As the nurse took me to get prepped for the surgery, another nurse took Dan to get him scrubs so that he could be in with me. If I learned anything so far being in labor it was that modesty is the last thing to worry about, especially getting an epidural. You just have to let it “all hang out” as the doctor said. I was pretty tired and out of it, but I do remember thinking that this epidural doctor was quite funny. It took him a long time and much poking to try and get it in because even my back was so swollen from the preeclampsia. The rest of the hour seemed like a whirlwind. Dan came in and within 10 minutes we heard the first cries of our little Aidan. I had been so worried that his lungs would not be fully developed or that he would have jaundice or some other problem because he was a month early, but he was absolutely perfect. Dan snapped a ton of pictures (this is the man who does not do well with needles and shots…and he watched my entire surgery – now that’s love!) and I remember him bringing Aidan to me as the doctors were stitching me up. Aidan was such a sweet little peanut at 5 pounds 10 ounces and 18 inches long, and healthy as ever.

Dan, Aidan, and a nurse went to a recovery room while I stay and got stitched up. After about 20-30 minutes I was able to be with my new family. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that time with just the three of us. The nurse did have to take Aidan to the nursery to warm him up under the lights, but after a few hours, and once we are back in our room, he was able to be with us. The next 4 days were filled with getting to know our little one, nursing, diapers, circumcision, visitors, recovering from surgery, the start of mommy-hood, and the beginning of sleepless nights, but that’s another story.

So, the things I did not want to happen, the induction and c-section, all happened. But in the end, we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I know that God knew everything, each step of the way. Aidan is our little miracle, and we are so thankful to God for him. I could go on and on, as I guess I already have. There’s so much to talk about with post partum recovery, what worked, what didn’t work etc…But if I could give any advice to expecting moms or even new moms it would be: 1 – be flexible, 2 – a baby is not a book, and 3 – don’t be afraid to ask for help. I love being a mom. It has been one of the most wonderful, exhausting, beautiful parts of my life thus far, and I’m thankful it has only just begun. So my plans didn’t exactly pan out, but if they had, they probably would not be the best plans. God’s are always greater, stronger, and better. Aidan is my little reminder of that promise.

Birth Stories Series: My First Baby's Birth Story

2011-02-26T11:55:00.005-05:00

Benjamin's Birth Story

Born May 22, 2008 (Thursday)

9:37pm

7 lbs. 14.9 oz.

Due date: May 17, 2008 – (40+5 weeks)

I had been having real, regular contractions since Sunday morning (May 18), but on Tuesday at the doctor's office, he said I was not dilated or progressing along on my own. The contractions were not doing anything productive, but I was indeed having real contractions. He did an ultrasound, and said the amniotic fluid levels were low, so we needed to set up a time to go to the hospital to be induced before the weekend. They told me Thursday was the day, and I was to call the hospital Thursday morning to arrange a time to come in.

On Thursday (May 22), we called the hospital at 7:30am, and they said we could come right in. They took us back to get settled, and the doctor said I was a couple of centimeters dilated! Woo hoo! This meant they could give me Pitocin to get things going. They started the Pitocin at around noon.

They also broke my water at some point to help me to progress.

I cannot remember at what time, but early in the afternoon, I asked for the epidural. It worked for a little bit, sort of. After I got the epidural, I was still in pain. But I was a first time mom – I didn't know how it was “supposed” to feel. I was told before that I should not expect it to take away all the pain. And it didn't. So I thought that was normal. And my bolus was not working at all. But the nurse, after seeing me in such pain STILL, said, “You should not be this uncomfortable after the epidural. I am going to call get the anesthesiologist.” He finally (I guess he was in c-section when they first requested him to come) came back and gave me a “boost”... which did help temporarily. But they told me I would SURELY have this baby by dinner time. (Well, I did not have this baby by dinner time, and the "boost" did NOT last through the entire labor and delivery.) The epidural overall was not as effective as it was supposed to be. (And I know this after having my second baby, where the epidural worked BEAUTIFULLY. But Joshua's birth story will be posted at a later date!)

At around 3:30pm, a friend of ours, who was a labor and delivery nurse, came in to help us through the labor. She took over for the nurse who was there when I came into the hospital. I am very thankful for her familiar face and her kind support through the rest of the labor and delivery. (In fact, she stayed well after the birth, probably until midnight to help me get settled.)

At some point in the afternoon, the doctor said that he was pleased with how things were going, and that we would surely have this baby by dinner time. Baby was doing wonderfully. I was hopeful that this would all be over soon and I would be holding my baby boy while I enjoyed a wonderful dinner!

By around 7pm, I was pushing. We found out that baby was in the posterior position (sunny-side up), making the labor incredibly long and difficult.

I can't remember when (the whole day was a blur to me), but baby's heart rate starting dropping sometime after I started pushing. This was very scary. The nurse was trying to hide the panic as she called for the doctor to come in right away. They had me turn in various positions (which is incredibly hard to do when your legs feel like Jello from the epidural), hoping to move the baby off of the umbilical cord. Nothing helped. I was on oxygen. They prepped the OR for an emergency c-section. At some point in all this, I threw up. I was exhausted, incredibly scared for my baby, and in lots of pain (let's remember: the epidural's "boost" had pretty much worn off at this point).

After over 2.5 hours of pushing, Benjamin was born at 9:37pm, with the help of forceps. I was able to birth him basically in the last moment before they would have had to take me to get cut open. I am thankful I did not have to have a c-section.

But I was incredibly exhausted from the difficult labor and delivery. It was somewhat traumatic for me, thinking something might happen to my baby, thinking I was not doing enough to keep him safe and birth him “right.” Because of the physical and emotional pain and exhaustion of the labor and delivery, I did not hold him for long after he was born. I got to hold him right away, after Keith handed him to me, but I was so exhausted and out of it, he was taken to the nursery shortly after. Not to mention, by the time I got cleaned up, stitched up, and everything, It was after 11pm. Long. Day.

I should also mention, a side effect I experienced from the combination of the epidural and the long, intense labor and delivery (and 2.5 hours of pushing), I had to have a catheter for 12+ hours.

Later, I found out that as my parents waited ALL evening in the waiting room (as they were also told I would SURELY have this baby by dinner), there was another family waiting to be taken back for a scheduled c-section. My parents overheard as this family kept getting pushed back, because there was a woman who may need to have an emergency c-section, for whom they had to keep the OR open for. That was me. I am glad that my parents didn't know that at the time, because I am sure it would have scared them as they waited. And waited. And waited.

My recovery was excruciatingly long and painful. It was 3+ weeks before I could walk without pain. Being in labor basically all week long (from Sunday-Thursday), being at the hospital for 13 hours before giving birth, and pushing for 2.5-3 hours makes for a long and difficult labor, delivery, and recovery. I have heard it said before, and I would have to agree: The longer the labor, the longer the recovery. People who have had very different birth experiences did not understand why it took me so long to recover. They would say to me, “But you didn't have a c-section...” Well, folks, when your baby is sunny-side up, and you have to push for nearly 2.5-3 hours to get your baby to turn into the right position, it takes a major toll on your body.

While I was in the hospital, I could hardly walk. I needed help in the shower. When I woke up Friday morning, my one leg was still completely numb from the epidural, meaning I could not walk on my own,

Then, of course, we had visitors all day on Friday in the hospital, which meant I got very little rest. Lesson learned. With baby #2, I did NOT make this mistake. (Joshua's birth story to come! Stay tuned.)

If I had known then what I know now, I would have insisted I wait a little bit longer, and forgo the induction process, as long as baby was safe. While I was incredibly anxious to meet Benjamin, I could have waited a couple more days. His amniotic fluid probably was not dangerously low, and I think things would have happened very differently had I not been induced.

That being said, I don't think that my difficult labor and delivery was a direct result of being induced. If I would have waited to go into labor on my own, it is possible that he would have changed positions, and his birth may have gone differently. But maybe not. We'll never know, and I am not wasting time focusing on the what-ifs. In the end, mother and baby were healthy, and for that, I am very thankful.

Stay tuned for Joshua's birth story at a later date!