Contemplations of a Mommy "Monk"

Walk This Way

2021-06-20T15:12:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when the sun has barely begun to rise, my feet hit the ground ready to get outside and walk with God (and my dogs) in the cool of the day (Gen. 3:8). Other days I don't make it out until evening when I can enjoy the setting of the sun on another day as I traipse either through the woods on my land or through the fields and around the lake nearby. Whether morning or evening, my regular walks are a way for me to lay my burdens at His feet, share the yoke with Him (Matthew 11:28-30), and walk alongside of God in His ways. I've never been consistent in exercise to be honest but walking has been one thing that I always come back to and recently through Mark Buchanan's writing, I've been aware of how my physical activity in walking is also a spiritual activity of connecting with God.

Have you heard His voice in the cool of the day, calling out to you, "Come Follow Me"? When you step out in obedience to His call, He will lead you on The Way, which may be difficult, steep, challenging, or littered with stumbling stones, but you will never walk on this path alone. He promises that He will never leave us, nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) even when we walk through dark valleys (Psalm 23).

It's almost a guarantee that when we step out in faith and follow Jesus, the path will be challenging but somehow we've imagined that Jesus promised it differently - why isn't this journey easier? we mumble. First of all, it's difficult because it's the narrow way as Jesus describes in Matthew 7:13-14; it's the path that is less traveled. It would be easier to follow along with the ways of the world and just float through life but His call to follow Him means we must die to ourselves (selfishness, mediocrity, pride) and choose the higher road (patience, gentleness, self-control). Walking with Jesus means walking humbly, walking in faith and climbing the mountains in front of us for His glory.

Jesus said that He was the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6), which many of us have heard and understood to mean that it is through Him and Him alone that we find truth and the way to God, the Father.

Sometimes when we’ve heard a verse a million times, we don’t see the deeper meaning or grasp the significance of those words.

Jesus is the way…..

Many years ago, I read a book that drew me deeper into this scripture as I had always envisioned myself on a path with Jesus beside me, guiding me along the way, giving me the truth as we walked.

Although this visual is helpful and not entirely incorrect, it did miss the heart of what Jesus said. Jesus isn't just beside me on the way. He said "I AM the Way," meaning that abiding in Him, living with His life in me, that IS the way. The way to walk isn't actually very complicated - it's simply living according to God's precepts and with His spirit in us. I've shared the gospel message with many people using the illustration from Navigators called the bridge, which demonstrated how we must cross over from death and sin to eternal life and godliness only through the cross. In this visual, Jesus is literally the bridge, the way across the impassible divide between mankind and a holy God.

The next time you take a walk, amble around your neighborhood, or hike into the mountains, consider what it means that Jesus is THE WAY.

Following Jesus takes us on a path of death to self in order to live a new life in Him. It isn't the most popular road to take, but it's the only one with the destination of eternal life. Along the way, we may find ourselves lured off onto a fork in the road the seems enticing but is just a rocky wilderness of stumbling stones. Thankfully, Jesus continues to call us back to Him, even coming after us in our folly, rescuing us from our mistakes. But if we keep our eyes on Him and our ears attuned to His voice, we will hear His gentle whisper telling us, "this is the way, walk in it."

I write this with transitions in mind, for those who are at a bend in the road and wanting to know the way forward - for new graduates stepping out into the world, for someone taking a new job, or making a big life change. Each new step you take can be on God's way if you choose to listen to His voice and follow Him.

Wherever your paths take you today, may God go with You and may you walk in His ways.

A Prayer for Us All

2021-01-20T12:08:00.003-06:00

Lord, the last 12 months have been like a large raw gaping wound for our nation. It has exposed such ugliness, deep hurts, resentment, anger, pain, bitterness and enmity. No longer do we stand united - we are fractured, we are broken and we are suffering. Last night we formally mourned the death of 400,000 souls due to a silent enemy that not only brought illness but confusion, misinformation, disagreement and doubt. Distrust and hatred have spread in a contagious manner over these past months.

We have to humbly admit, we have not truly been a nation Under God in many, many years. Our hearts have strayed so far from Your ways. We no longer value holiness or honor our elders; we've lost the heart to love our neighbors, especially those who are not like us. We've forgotten that it is more blessed to give than receive and made our greedy desires and selfish pleasures our gods. We have replaced You as the Lord of all with our own gods: pride, comfort, success, beauty, power, substances, greed, popularity and more. Forgive us Lord for blaspheming Your name with our hypocrisy, saying we follow You but not behaving in a way that honors You.

Lord, only You can heal us, cleanse us and make us new. Only when we turn to You with ALL of our heart and ALL of our lives will things change. We are on our knees, mourning, weeping over our sins, recognizing that within our hearts there is a poverty that only You can fill, hungering-starving for righteousness, recognizing that only in YOU will we find peace, full life and hope.

Healing

2020-11-01T16:34:00.001-06:00

Hebrews 12:1 - 3
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I am not a runner. Never have been and probably never will be. Running takes some serious endurance, training and goal setting, but mainly I'm not a runner because it's HARD. It hurts and I just want it to be over as soon as possible. I've ran in a couple of 5K events - one ended with hot cocoa and the other was filled with blasts of color and dance music. Most serious runners wouldn't say these events count for much (and if I'm really honest, I had to walk just a little bit during the race too!)

But teaching during COVID sometimes feels like running a marathon each day, according to my teachers who rarely have a moment to breathe during their jam packed days. And if we are honest, the author of Hebrews was not wrong in comparing the trials of life to running a challenging race. There are obstacles, pain and exhaustion that fill our days and the encouragement to listen to the people in the past, to persevere and to keep our eyes on Jesus is exactly what we need to hear!

This year my son Cody has begun to run in Cross Country and has learned first hand about the realities of running day in and day out. He's had a sprained ankle, puked in a race, gotten shin splints and finished his last race in the snow as you can see above. But the way I see it, all of these challenges are just an image, a telling visual of what has happened in Cody's life over the past 2 years.

Only God knows what is in store next for Cody, but he has certainly shown perseverance through his trials as a teenager. If you haven't read his story, you can get caught up here and here. Short version: Cody's C2 was broken, ligaments torn and discs wrecked in a wrestling incident that was millimeters away from paralyzation or even death. Cody's injury meant no more football or wrestling, which is part of the reason why he joined Cross Country.

He has kept on "running the race" in his faith over the past year, living for Christ, spending time with his youth group, at Christian camp, retreats and with a discipleship group. Jeremiah 29:11 became my verse for him because I believed God had plans for Cody's life even if we couldn't see it at the moment.

This week we had a visit to Mayo Clinic to get a one year follow up visit for Cody's neck. I honestly didn't expect to hear anything too surprising - just to know his neck wasn't any worse than it was a year ago.

But God has been at work behind the scenes (isn't He always?!!) and we got to see His miraculous hand in Cody's healing. Yes, it's a race we are in and it requires perseverance but sometimes we get to a glimpse into what God is doing along the way. God says don't grow weary, don't give up, persevere and someimes it feels like we are running blind, not sure of how God will provide or what will happen next. But He reminds us to look to our cloud of witnesses in our doubts.

Hebrews 12 is speaking of the witnesses we have in scripture - Abraham, Moses and others who have gone before us in a life of faith. But sometimes God gives us a cloud of witnesses who surround us right now - pastors, mentors, family.

Who is in your cloud of witnesses? Right now, I am surrounded by witnesses but mostly I'm encouraged today by my husband. I'm blessed to see Darren's faith come to fruition in this past year. He claimed over a year ago that God would heal Cody completely and he was reminded of that after our visit to the doctor.

I never would have guessed that the doctor would say that Cody's neck was completely (COMPLETELY!) healed - no ligaments hanging, no curvature to the vertebrae, no damage to the discs. No more worries about "What if?" or what might happen in Cody's old age. His neck is healed.

And so today we are praising God, thanking Him for His faithfulness in our challenges and for the glimpse into His power which strengthens our faith and our hope in all He has in store for us.

Choosing Joy

2020-08-22T08:37:00.000-05:00

Sunset on the Fox River - on our way to Chicago

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions, ups and downs, and a crazy busy time of year. Just a glimpse into the last seven days: I took my eldest daughter down to Chicago to go back to college for the year. In a time a social unrest, she's returning to a dorm room only a few miles from the looting and rioting a couple weeks ago. In addition, due to higher rates of COVID infections in our state, she was required to quarantine for her first 14 days back in Illinois.

The long drive to and from a bustling city provided an opportunity to either build anxiety or lay my worries at His feet. I can't claim to be perfect in this matter as I really thought I was at peace after walking the streets with Katie on a sunshiny day with city-dwellers out for Sunday runs or coffee but ended up at home after 10 hours on the road pretty tired and grumpy. And then I sat down with The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.

I've been blessed to participate in a prayer-group of Christian principals from around the state who are studying Henri Nouwen's deep words about this story we are familiar with. This week we read about the older brother in the story and his resentment which built from a lack of understanding of how God's unconditional love is poured out for each of us. I was convicted of my own need to return to the Father and rest in His love for me. It's a trap when we start to think about what is "fair" and what our "rights" are because we deserve it. Instead of looking for God's presence in my surroundings and finding the joy in the moment, I allowed my 7-hour drive home to build up resentments about how I lost my weekend due to this trip and I wasn't going to have time to do anything to catch up because every.single.day of the week was packed to the brim with work, including a board meeting Monday night and events I had to coordinate and lead throughout the week.

I wanted to list out how full this week has been - PBIS meetings, planning in-service, New Teacher training, a full day with staff going through all of our new protocols due to COVID, for example. The day when I was supposed to be "off" but during an optometry appointment, I recieved no less the 16 texts from school and tried to read them with dilated eyes. The doctor said, "Oh, so you like a challenge do you?" And the 12 emails from one parent alone, never mind the 100 in my inbox daily. So, yes, it's been a busy week but that's part of this job and when I sit down to think about it, I'm reminded that I love my job. I love the 375 kids who will come to school or stay home this year; I love my 30 elementary teachers and the bus drivers, secretaries, aides, kitchen staff and custodial staff who labor in love to care for all us. I just needed to be reminded of that. And it took my husband (always an honest voice when I get crabby) and Henri Nouwen to get me back on track.

This quote from Henri Nouwen captures how I'm feeling right now:

"Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist....

Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint. I can choose to be grateful when I am criticized..."

So, I guess it's time to choose joy. To choose to look at how awesome it is to work with a group of teachers who set up a time to pray over the school this week and to come home to an amazing husband who took care of cleaning the house and doing the laundry, even taking off work because I couldn't afford to do that. I can choose to see all the questions, concerns, and frustrations of parents and teachers with a compassionate heart instead of being resentful that they don't understand how hard we've worked all summer to create these plans. And I can choose to see others the way God does, with open arms, knowing that we all (prodigal or not) just need to come back into His arms, lay our head on his heart, receive His love and listen in to His heartbeat long enough to know deeply He cares for us and that His plans for us are good.

Slow Down

2020-08-02T18:54:00.002-05:00

Lake Superior on a windy day looks as tumultuous as the ocean, the waves crashing against the craggy rocky shoreline. However, on this day, I climbed the basalt shoreline, jumping across crevices, feeling the breeze through my hair, and hearing the waters crashing upon the same bedrock upon which I stood, and I felt the peace that comes from soaking in God's creation.

As an educator, the summer has long meant time to settle, to rest and recover from the chaotic busyness of life during the school year. These days, as an administrator, summers are still workdays but usually, the pace slows down enough to appreciate time for refueling and resting. During a pandemic, however, my whole work-life balance has been upended as working from home has become a reality much of time and the slower pace of summer suddenly becoming a frantic neverending discussion of how to possibly begin school again in the fall with effective safety measures. The stress and anxiety of decisions on a macro and micro level with long hours of meetings involving administration, school board, and community have turned summer into the least restful time of year.

But, about now it's time to rest. To slow down and to listen up. To sit in silence and treasure the gifts God has sent my way - to be fully present in the moments where His voice whispers and I have to lean in hear, shutting out the crazy tilt-a-whirl of this world.

A friend recently gifted me with one of Mark Buchanan's books: The Rest of God. I didn't know how desperately hungry I was for this message until I finally started to read it. I've always been a person to treasure and prioritize my mornings with God and I'm pretty committed to leaving work at work so I thought I was doing ok with "rest" but as I've had time for self-reflection, I've discovered how deeply our souls long for sabbath rest.

I like to start the morning with a beautiful view as I sit in silence at His feet, listening for His voice. This is a daily soaking in of His Word, and expressing gratitude for His presence in my life. But then it's as if the bell rings and I rush off to the races, checking my email and texts almost compulsively, sure I'm going to miss something important if I close my computer for a few minutes. The workload piles up, the questions to be answered, the problems to be solved are never-ending. At the end of the day, I sometimes just collapse and wonder if it's time for bed yet. Especially right now with the pressures of monumental decisions on my shoulders, the meetings upon meetings and reading, researching until my eyes are so weary I can hardly keep them open.

Taking a whole day to rest in God's presence, to be restored, to play and enjoy His gifts, to slow down long enough to see Him...this sounds like an impossible gift. Which is why God told us to "remember" the sabbath. It's just too easy to keep up this crazy busy lifestyle, to rush here and there imagining that life won't go on if that work doesn't get done, as if rest is an extravagance I can't afford. I needed to be reminded (thanks Mark Buchanan!) that God intended for us to rest at His feet, to listen for His voice, and to rejoice in Him. The work I do is for His glory and the truth of the matter is, it doesn't rest on my shoulders at all - He's the one who is sovereign. He is the one with the power to fix this world, not me. When I sit at His feet, I feel my smallness and I remember who I am through His eyes.

It's like God is saying that He knows we need a mini-vacation every week. He knows we need to take care of ourselves with healthy food, exercise, rest and a day away from the pressures of work. He knows we forget that He is God and we are not. And He knows we need time to process life, to connect with Him and to hear His voice, so He tells us "Remember..."

Remember to slow down.

Remember to take time to play with your kids.

Remember to quiet your thoughts long enough to hear from God.

Remember to express gratitude to the Creator for all His beautiful gifts.

Remember you are not really in control of anything.

Remember He loves you.

Together

2020-05-30T07:12:00.004-05:00

This morning I have two things pressing on my mind and they both led me to the same scripture commanding action and changes to improve culture. I've been doing some self-analysis for the past month. We did a perceptions survey at work and the results were pretty hard to hear which has led to digging deep to figure out what needs to change. If I want to build a positive culture in my school, I have to take ownership of where we've fallen short as leaders. I recently read an article in Harvard Review about building trust among staff. The author identified 3 areas that can make leaders less likely to be trusted by their employees: Can I trust your reasoning and judgment? Are you as a leader authentic and real with us? Do you care about me and my success, are you empathetic? As I assessed myself as a leader to consider where my shortcomings might be, I was surprised to see that I do not present myself as an empathetic leader. I genuinely care about my staff so why is it not showing? The article was a like a spotlight on some negative behaviors I need to change - impatience, constant distraction by the phone/laptop and disengaging when discussions get lengthy. If I'm going to build trust I have to learn more about empathy, how to engage fully and listen deeply while I give people time to grasp new ideas.

So, I've been reading Simon Sinek's book Leaders Eat Last and thoughtfully considering areas in my own life where I need to improve my ability to build trust and to grow as a compassionate, empathetic leader. It's interesting how all this ties into more recent events that are certainly more poignant, more crucial, and further reaching than just me and my school.

The impact of George Floyd's brutal killing has spread across our country and into our living room conversations. My heart is broken for our country, for our cities, like Minneapolis, that are reeling from the anger, the pain and the inability to trust because of the horrible actions of men whose job was to protect citizens and not to harm them. And my question is how do we change our culture and what is our responsibility as believers to respond to this? As a family, we've discussed what we say, what we do to make an impact when not everyone understands the pain of racism and deep roots of despair that come from being oppressed continuously for years upon years.

Doesn't it all come back to building a bridge of trust, which can only happen through an empathetic response? How do we do this? What does God's Word have to say about it?

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Compassionate Empathy is the ability to see from another's perspective, to understand how someone might be feeling, to even grieve with them or rejoice with them (Rom. 12:15) and then to be moved to do something to help. Empathy, as it turns out, is the best word to describe why Jesus came to earth as a human - to save us from our sins, which He was only able to do because He lived in human flesh and experienced the struggle of temptation and the challenge of life on earth (Heb. 4:15) and because of His compassion upon His people who were powerless to save themselves.

To love like Jesus, which is the only real way to change culture, we must stop our selfish behaviors (envy, pride, disrespect, anger, resentment) and start thinking of others first. We have to slow down (patience) and listen more, try to understand each other's hurts and look for ways to serve each other. Brothers and sisters, we have to create a circle of safety within the church where we trust each other, we protect each other, we hope confidently in God's power to change us and to heal us and we don't give up until we see a difference. We have to remember that we are like a herd of oxen who need to circle up and protect each other from the prowling lion out there ready to attack. And we have to remember that the enemy is not each other - we fight against a much bigger enemy and he is showing up as prejudice, rage, bigotry, and cruelty. We stand together as a family of Christ when we stand on love.

He Restores My Soul

2020-05-24T08:56:00.000-05:00

This morning I am feasting on the Word of God, savoring every nuance, drinking deeply of the truth God speaks. I'm letting Him fill me up to overflowing with hope, peace and love as I soak in Psalm 23. Even though I've heard these words many times, they are fresh and new today.

I shall not want.

We live in a fast-paced consumer-driven society. There is always something more, something better and our hunger seems to never be satisfied. I think we have a tendency to be compulsively busy, getting antsy if there isn't something to occupy our minds or our hands. This sitting at home business is boring and maybe it's just me, but I find myself itching to go somewhere, do something, or else I'm working at all hours of the day. If I'm not working, I'm looking for a book to read or a show to watch - empty time and space in our days can seem vacuous. Do we know what it means to not want? Do we know how to settle down and just sit? When we come to God and give him our anxieties and inner struggles, we can rest, slow down, and listen to His voice. He calls us to BE STILL, to be a peace with quiet and to not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

This one hit me personally because I'm trying hard to not let food be the thing that fills my empty spaces and I love to munch. If I were surrounded by Willy Wonka's chocolate fountain and edible paradise, could I just lie down and be satisfied without wanting to nibble on everything that looks so delicious? God makes it possible to rest and be FULL even when delicacies are surrounding us. This is a beautiful image of being completely satisfied in God and His love, feeling no need for anything else even when we are surrounded by it.

He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.

A little kayak ride this week, some gazing upon our ponds and a view of the glass surface of the lake were enough to restore my soul! When things have been stormy and chaotic, God provides a quiet interlude to be restored. Amen?

He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

We've been talking about pursuing holiness at church lately as we've studied 1 Peter. My kids have been sincerely pursuing God's word and desiring to follow Him in their lives - what a blessing! I pray that they will be guided in paths of righteousness on a regular basis and God has answered that prayer in a mighty way this week. My son got a job for the summer doing manual labor and enjoyed the work and the people he worked with for the first couple of weeks and he was happy to be making money for himself. He and his dad were talking about how to maintain purity and honor God with his life when surrounded by worldly influences and he took this seriously. So, when something happened at work that was in strong opposition to his conscience, he made the decision to quit. He said I can't stay committed to my values if I'm going to be around these behaviors. And he made the hard decision to quit his job - I'm so incredibly proud of him. That's what it looks like to have God guide you in a path of righteousness!

Psalm 23 verses 4-6 apply to so many challenges we face in life, but definitely in the midst of a pandemic. Take some time today to savor these words even though you've heard them a million times before, may God whisper in your ear today,

Be still, I'm with you, and I'm going to take care of you.

Purpose and Motivation

2020-05-10T15:11:00.001-05:00

Last week I challenged our students to do some math while they are doing school at home and to motivate them I promised to dye my hair blue if the majority of students participated. I was thinking a little about how hard it is to be motivated to do your work from home when there isn't someone in front of you requiring you to sit down and get it done. How hard it is, in general, to be self-motivated and self-disciplined without a clear goal, personal purpose, and possibly even a reward at the end of all that hard work.

At the same time, our new puppy has been doing a lot of treat training in the past couple of weeks; a treat for sitting still, a treat for coming, a treat for going potty, for shaking my hand, for walking by my side, for obeying in general. The 5-year-old lab, however, has to be sometimes be trained with negative reinforcement. She won't listen or stay in the yard so she has to have the electric fence as a reminder of her boundaries.

We can all be motivated by either positive reinforcement or by negative consequences when needed. I think it's natural to think of giving out consequences in order to motivate positive behaviors, but our dog trainer said don't punish her when she has an accident, she's just a puppy; it's your fault for not taking her outside earlier. Don't get mad when she chews on your furniture, she's just a puppy; instead, give her something else to chew on. Don't be yell at her when she pulls on the leash; just train her how to walk by your side.

I need some help with personal motivation right now and I'm thinking a little about my teenagers sitting at home on their computers trying to be motivated to get their schoolwork done too. I tend to get mad at myself when I procrastinate or screw something up, but does that really accomplish anything? There is a time and place for punishment because it does motivate some of us and it is helpful for correction. But how can we train for internal motivation?

After 8 weeks of working from home, living in isolation, it's become clear to me that just surviving isn't enough for us to keep on going this way. We need a strong sense of purpose. I need a strong sense of purpose when I think about how to grow in my weaknesses and become the person God created me to be. When I think about motivation and purpose, this verse from Philippians comes to mind. I want to

Shine Like a Star in the Universe

I'm a big fan of Simon Sinek and his work on "Why." It's made me think about what my purpose is and how this inspires me to do hard things and to persevere, because if I have a strong sense of how this fits into the bigger picture of my life. For example, I am pretty committed to reading my Bible and pray daily because I believe strongly in the preeminence of my relationship with God. I don't need to be pushed to spend time with Him daily because I love Him and I know I couldn't make it through the day without Him. It's clear that I put a high priority and strong value in my time with God, so how can that translate to these other areas of my life where I am weak and need to make some changes?

I'll be specific. I keep saying that I'm going to make healthier choices with regards to eating and exercising, but I don't stick to a plan. Why? Is it because I don't really believe that this is important when I see my overall purpose as a human being? Like, does it really matter if I'm skinny in order to fulfill God's purpose for my life? Maybe. And maybe I could change my perspective if I realize I'd be more effective if I wasn't distracted by this issue and I'd have more energy to do God's work if I was healthier.

My biggest motivator is to glorify God in all that I do. I want to live my life in such a way that He is honored and pleased by my actions. My purpose is further defined by John 10:10 I want to live life to the FULL which only comes through Jesus. I'm also motivated by John 15:11 where Jesus says that when we live in obedience to Him, our JOY may be complete.

When I'm able to focus in on my purpose, I make better choices in my daily decisions. I spend my time building others up; I remember to give grace to myself and others because we all need it; I seek my strength in God alone and I make the most of every minute. And the rewards for following God's purposes are great: More Joy, Deeper Knowledge of His love for us, and every day experiencing His presence in our lives. I'll continue to use treats to train my puppy, and I think I'll try to look for those rewards for myself as well.

Gratitude

2020-04-26T11:04:00.000-05:00

It's been a month - 32 days since the Safe at Home order was first issued in Wisconsin and 44 days since school has been closed. It's about this time that we need to remember to count our blessings and look for all the things to be thankful for and I'm going to try to find 32:

1. It's been wonderful to be outside in the mornings with my beautiful Bella. She lights up my day!

2. Bailey and Jingle, the other two furry friends in our home also are a blessing.

3. Morning coffee

4. Peepers chirping each night and chickadees singing in the mornings

5. Good books - I just finished Becoming by Michelle Obama and Educated by Tara Westover

6. Praise and worship music (Rend Collective does socially distant worship every week)

7. Family time playing cards, board games, spike ball, etc

8. Baking and creating delicious beauty

9. Dusted off the espresso maker and finally figured out how to froth the milk

10. Old movies - Netflix and Amazon Prime

11. Wearing sweatpants all day long!

12. Warm enough weather to take out the boat

13. Family nearby to "visit" from a distance

14. Hiking new areas and reveling in God's gifts in nature

15. A full freezer with venison, corn, sausages, and berries.

16. Time to make healthy meals each night and have dinner together

17. Movie nights as a family

18. The spring - flowers, outdoor projects and the beauty of new growth

19. Connecting with friends and family on the phone regularly

20. Celebrating a birthday and a holiday together with joy.

21. Daily walks and workouts

22. Cody fishing all day long

23. Words and gifts of encouragement

24. A purpose and meaningful work

25. Bonfires, trampolines, and treehouses

26. Creativity in coloring or painting

27. Creating a good environment for us to live in, work in, study in

28. The Word of God sustains & uplifts

29. Prayer

30. God's Spirit - present giving peace

31. Barbeque dinners, waffles for breakfast and fresh strawberries

32. Thankful that we are healthy and well and that we have been given all that we need to make it through this crisis and thrive even in the midst of a challenge:

2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Exponential Growth

2020-04-12T14:08:00.002-05:00

On my many trips to the outdoors this week (you can't go anywhere else), I noticed that my daffodils were starting to sprout. That's one thing I love about perennials - even though they've died off in the fall, they will grow new again each spring. They are a beautiful visual of God's seasonal purposes and the value of a long winter's rest.

This whole coronavirus situation has got me thinking about growth. There are lots of different kinds of growth. Some growth is cyclical like my daffodils, hyacinths and brown eyed susans. Death and rebirth reoccur regularly throughout the cycle of each plant's life. Sometimes it feels like that in my spiritual life too. I go through spiritually dry seasons where reading the Bible is a laborious task and nothing seems to awaken my soul. And then I find myself thirsting for the Word, finding new insights daily, hearing God's voice on a regular basis as I seek Him each morning.

On the other hand, we see some growth on a more linear path. My little puppy will grow a few pounds each week and this tiny sprout will (hopefully) grow a few centimeters each week as long as I water it regularly. This is what I think we imagine growth is like - predictable, following a pattern, steadily progressing towards a goal. But it isn't often that obvious in our spiritual lives. We grow in spurts and we circle back to areas we haven't surrendered fully to God, we wander through deserts and climb the mountains. We sometimes grow exponentially, like when we first come to know Christ, and other times we can't see any growth because it's all happening beneath the surface. Growth isn't always easily explained by a mathematical curve.

The coronavirus is growing exponentially (well it's more complicated than that, but basically it went from 2 people in Wisconsin a month ago to 3,213 today, which can be explained by an exponential growth model). At the beginning it was doubling every couple of days and this alarming rate of growth had us thinking of how to stop it, like putting out a forest fire that starting with a spark but keeps burning until it has scorched everything in it's path. To put out forest fires, we set up controlled burns to consume all of the possible fuel in the path of the fire. We set up a barrier to distance the fire from the nearby towns and contain the damage. With COVID-19, we've distanced ourselves from the virus to prevent the spread and we're all hoping for some immunity whether it comes from exposure to the virus that doesn't harm us (herd immunity) or a controlled plan like an immunization.

For us spiritually we can become immunized to God's Word too - we've heard it so much that we glaze over and the truth doesn't penetrate our souls. Or maybe we are distancing ourselves from the truth - we don't open our Bibles, or spend time with believers and we aren't interested in attending church. Whether we call ourselves Christians or not, we can all fall into the follow traps that will stagnate spiritual growth in our lives:

Luke 8:4-15

The seeds that fall on a hard path and are eaten up by birds: Our souls are like worn pathways trampled by so many activities, interests and busyness that we aren't receptive to the truth.

The seeds on rocky ground with no moisture: We have hardened our hearts to the truth and the Living Water is not present in our lives to nurture growth.

The seeds that fell among thorns that choke out growth: The interests of the world, the allure of sin, the pursuit of materialism distract us from God.

Or, we can have a heart of soil that is prepared for growth:

"15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."

When we listen to God, when we follow His Words, we will continue to grow spiritually. What kind of growth are you experiencing right now?

Rest

2020-04-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Have you ever noticed how dogs and cats can just lay down in the middle of the day, multiple times a day and fall sound asleep? God made them with internal clocks that need breaks and sleep and truth be told, God made us with the same rhythms in our bodies. We need rest and that's why God created the Sabbath. God values our work but He tells us to rest from it one day out of seven, to set aside time for Him, for reflection, for quiet, for family. I think He knew that we could get wrapped up in our work and never put it down and that if we weren't commanded to stop, sit down and rest, we would just try to keep going like the Energizer bunny. But no matter how energetic my dog and puppy are, they still slow down and rest on a regular basis.

Actually, in the Old Testament God created a Sabbath year once every seven years, for debts to be forgiven, for slaves to be set free, for the land to rest for a whole year - for a fresh start. The Israelites didn't value that year unfortunately so it never really was followed like it should have been.

Is God giving us a time of rest - a Sabbath for our land and for our souls? Some of us can't work - it isn't even an option. It's hard to sit at home with no vocational purpose and not be able to go out and keep up with our busy lifestyles, but maybe this is God's way of forcing us to take a break.

Instead of grumbling about our circumstances, could we find things to be grateful for instead? I know the consequences of less work means less money but less eating out, less driving to and fro, and less activities also means less spending.

He has given us a gift: TIME. Time to do tasks that are relaxing and soul-feeding, time for journaling, calling friends on the phone, writing notes to those we can't visit. His gift of time allows us to soak in His Word, study the Bible, memorize and meditate on it. He is filling us up with His presence during this time while we are away from others.

What are you doing with your time? I'm enjoying the sunrises every day, playing with my dogs, listening to music, reading good books, in essence, I'm resting.

I'm getting outside, hiking and exploring God's beautiful world, thanking Him for the gifts He gives, even when it feels like a lot has been taken away. Let's enjoy this time to slow down, let's rest in His love for us and His command to take some time off. Let's take this as a Sabbath and honor our God with how we rest our weary souls at His feet.

Fellowship

2020-03-29T08:07:00.001-05:00

When I was a young adult, living away from home for the first time and feeling pretty alone in my faith, I found a way to be at church almost every time the doors were opened. I took on a second job working at the preschool because I genuinely loved working with the people from church. I hardly knew anyone and most people were old enough to be my grandmother or even great-grandmother, but I joined their prayer circle and I soaked up Sunday morning service even if it wasn't the denomination I was familiar with. The old church was within walking distance of my apartment and it was a place of refuge from the world, an unwelcoming place for someone who wanted to follow God's Word, so it became my home away from home. I was only there a short time but I dove into that church and served, and found joy and peace in the family of God.

And here we are today in 2020 where the world is a bit unwelcoming in general (we have to be, I know). And we can't meet together and give each other hugs of comfort or share a cup of coffee together to listen to the challenges and praises of the past week. So, how do we fellowship and how to we act like the family of God in these times? These musicians in Nashville made a beautiful cell phone choir for us to appreciate - consider it your morning time to meditate and settle your heart before the Lord.

Last week, churches around the world met virtually, worshipped uniquely in their living rooms and heard the scriptures from home. It feels a bit different to do church virtually, but I hope you join in this morning too!

Even while we are apart, we can commit to praying for one another, lifting each other up and sharing joy to others in a variety of ways. You could write notes and send them in the mail to someone who is alone or to the nearest nursing home. I know of folks who are serving others by donating money to buy grocery store gift certificates for those who are out of work at this time and others are sewing face masks for those working in hospitals. You could do a virtual Bible study and check in via phone to discuss the questions and talk about what God is doing in your lives right now. You could turn up the praise music at home and sing along - your own personal worship service. We live in a connected era - aren't you glad for Facetime, zoom, Skype and all the other new ways we can connect even while apart?

How are you finding ways to fellowship, worship and serve during this time? I'd love to hear!

Heal Our Land

2020-03-27T07:15:00.002-05:00

2 Chronicles 7:14

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

This is definitely a time for us as the body of Christ to come together in prayer. There are so many things to pray for: healing for those who have contracted COVID-19, safety for those who are vulnerable, that the spread of the virus would come to halt, for all our medical professionals on the front lines, and for the researchers who are trying to find a vaccine or medication that could lessen the symptoms. YES, let's pray together for healing from this virus and let's fall on knees before God for His intervention because only He has power over disease.

But when I look at this commonly quoted verse in 2 Chronicles, I notice a few things:

One, what is the attitude and heart of this prayer?

Two, what is it that we need to be healed of?

King Solomon, who built the temple in Jerusalem, dedicated that holy building with a prayer for God to fulfill His promises, to hear His people when they pray, to dwell with them, and to forgive their sins when they walk away from His commands (You can look at 2 Chron. 6 for the prayer). 2 Chronicles 7:14 is God's response to Solomon's prayer.

God asks us to come to Him in prayer with humility first. As I'm praying for our country and our world, I'm asking Him to heal us of this physical ailment but I also think God wants to heal us of our Self-Centeredness, our Reliance upon ourselves for everything in a world where we don't think we need God because we have Amazon, credit cards, a busy lifestyle, full grocery stores.

Actually, if we are honest, in the 21st century in the western world, most of us rarely have to ask God to meet our daily needs. Prayer has been relegated to the big things, or maybe at church gatherings, at most once a day. Do we remember God in the midst of our hectic modern lives? Could God be using this forced time at home to slow us down, to make us turn back to Him, to see the gift of His presence and His care in every moment of our days?

Solomon prayed,

"But will God really dwell on earth with men? The heavens, the highest heavens, cannot contain you. How much less this temple I have built!"

2 Chronicles 6:18

I pray that God is healing us from our pride, our self-reliance, and our disinterest in God.

Are we seeking His face? How convicting it is when I realize that idolatry isn't just an Old Testament problem. We turn to all kinds of things to meet our needs and to fill the emptiness in our souls before we turn to God. Can you confess with me today that we have allowed social media/technology to overtake our lives? We've sought approval from others (how many likes we have today) and mindless scrolling to fill up our hunger for acceptance that can only come from God? Oh Lord, heal us of our wayward hearts that wander from You and seek other pleasures and comforts in this world to meet the deepest longing of our hearts instead of coming to YOU, the only One who can really fill us up. (John 10:10)

When Solomon approached God, he began with this tribute to the One true God,

"O LORD, God of Israel, there is no God like you in heaven or on earth-you who keep your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in your way."

2 Chronicles 6:14

As we seek God's face to heal our land, may we pray for revival, for people to turn from their sinful acts, to desire to follow wholeheartedly God's ways. I'm praying that God would heal broken relationships, that He would heal those who struggle with anger, that He would heal us of our addictions and our slanderous tongues, our gossiping judgmental ways and our disregard for the weakest among us.

Yes, Lord, heal our land. Heal us physically and heal us spiritually. Heal us, forgive us and bring us back to You!

What will your story be?

2020-03-24T06:17:00.002-05:00

As a part of a missions class, my daughter has to interview a missionary about their experiences. We just dug through the bookshelf to find some great biographies for her to read as well - about people like the "Jungle Doctor," Hudson Taylor, Isobel Kuhn, Amy Carmichael and Elisabeth Elliot. If you haven't read any of those biographies, I highly recommend them - those stories inspired me to be willing to go against the crowd, take big risks, do hard things and lay down my life for the cause of Christ. I love to read biographies and get a feel for what it was like for those people who lived each day for the Lord, especially the really hard days.

In all honesty, it's doubtful that you or I will have a biography quite like my spiritual heroes but
regardless, we have a story that we are passing on to our children and our grandchildren. This virus truly is a historic moment and we get to choose how we are going to handle and what will be remembered in history books about these days. What will our story be like?

About 10 years ago we were celebrating Christmas in the basement of our little house with my parents and 3 young kids crowded in around the tree. It was in the wee hours of the morning because the kids were young and woke us all up before the crack of dawn. We had opened a couple of gifts when suddenly the power went out and the basement went completely dark. Initially we thought we would just delay opening presents until it got lighter outside and then we tried to put up some candles but their light was pretty dim still. Eventually, we remembered we had gotten head lamps for the kids to use for outdoor exploring or reading in bed at night. So, there we sat, with head lamps strapped onto our bedhead over sleepy eyes in our pajamas and continued Christmas celebrations.

We had a few moments of stress - what about cooking Christmas dinner, what about our heat (totally electric)....was anyone from the electric company going to even be able to help us since it was Christmas morning? It seemed like it might ruin our Christmas - completely putting a damper on what was supposed to be the best day of the year.

But instead it turned out to be the most memorable Christmas we've ever had. We put our worries aside and found the joy in the moment. And thankfully we didn't have to worry about the heat or the dinner as the electricity was restored within a few hours. Our fun loving attitude made what could have been a crisis into the best Christmas ever. We laughed. We celebrated. We made a memory.

Years later the kids were recalling favorite Christmas gifts and no one could remember what they got for Christmas the year of the black out, but they all remembered it as their favorite Christmas ever.

What will your story be? Years from now when you recall this time of medical crisis, what will your family remember? What stories will we be passing on to the next generation about how we saw God in the midst of our trials and how we found joy despite challenging circumstances?

If I told you my story

You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go

And if I told you my story

You would hear Love that never gave up

And if I told you my story

You would hear Life, but it wasn't mine

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

(Big Daddy Weave)

Day 11: Worked at School. We served over 370 families meals! Tony Evers called it #Saferathome and closed all non-essential business.

10 things I've learned in the first 10 days since the COVID-19 crisis hit home

2020-03-23T06:55:00.000-05:00

1. A crisis is bound to bring out either the best in people or the worst: people literally fighting over the last package of toilet paper in Walmart, hoarding food and generally allowing paranoid selfishness to overcome their sanity.

OR, on the contrast is the group of people in my community who have rallied together to purchase grocery gift certificates and quietly slip them into the school's lunch delivery bags. These people don't want recognition, they just want to help their neighbors.

2. This is a time for us to join together and fall on our faces in prayer before the LORD - to stop fixating on the news and hysteria and start turning our eyes to God for healing, for peace, for hope, and for the strength to endure this pandemic. It's our moment to pray not only for those close to use but to become prayer warriors for the unfortunate, those battling the illness, the leaders who face daily decisions and the whole world.

3. Giving up some of our regular comforts can be seen as a major inconvenience when we didn't choose it, but isn't it interesting that this crisis comes in the midst of the season of Lent? Lent is a time for fasting from out selfish idolatrous comforts in order to draw near to God and to prepare our hearts to fully embrace the message of the cross and resurrection. These days we are forced to live quieter lives, to slow down and to give up our comforts - let's turn that into a holy moment of surrender to God and let Him use it work in our hearts!

4. In isolation, sometimes we can actually connect more with people than we typically do. My life is so busy usually that in the evenings and on weekends, I'm just in recovery mode. But I've had more conversations with my extended family over the past week than I typically do. We all need someone to reach out to us and we need to think of those who live alone - this is a great opportunity to use the time we have to foster those relationships.

5. Don't ever forget that God is still in control. We studied the story of Mark 4:35-41 on Sunday where Jesus falls asleep in the boat in the midst of a violent storm. The disciples first think that perhaps he doesn't really care about them and they are wondering if he's even paying attention to their dilemma. We feel that way too, don't we? Everything seems so out of control and we have no way to manage the storm and God seems like He is asleep. But Jesus was asleep in the boat because He KNEW Who was in control - He knew that He could stop a storm in a second and He never had a second of anxiety because He understood God's sovereignty. Jesus is this boat with us - it might feel out of control but He is still in control.

6. Going outside for fresh air, projects and walks can be healing. In the past few days, I've appreciated the signs of wildlife in the woods - stashes of stored up food in the rotten part of dead trees, deer in the field, geese flying overhead, swans that we startled and even a caterpillar.

7. Worship and praise is healing too! Sing more, blast that worship music loud and watch it change your attitude and your heart.

8. Maybe God is using this to draw us closer together as families. We've lost the art of family dinner time, family prayer and time playing games together. These times are forcing us to sit together at the table and draw near to each other - enjoy each other's company and grow strong as a family.

9. Let God use this as a time to draw near to Him as well. More time on our hands could mean Netflix marathons or it could mean spending more time in the Word, soaking in God's truth, listening for His voice and meditating on His character.

10. This is a time to look for those moments of joy, the gifts in the midst of the storm and to have a heart of gratitude. End each day with thanksgiving for what God has blessed us with as a reminder that He is Good!

The Weekend

2020-03-22T10:25:00.000-05:00

Saturday and Sunday (days 9 &10):

It doesn't really feel like a weekend when you spend each day doing similar things, but we were all together all day at home.

I made banana bread for breakfast and then venison stew for dinner while we watched On the Basis of Sex about Ruth Bater-Ginsburg, which was powerful (thankful for free movies on TV right now). The kids have been so amazingly industrious - they cleaned out the basement family room to make a work out space and to find all our DVDs and games (we have more than we remembered!). We had some flooding this winter from a burst pipe and things have been a bit of a mess down there because no one had time to really work on it - now we do! The kids have been playing spike ball, practicing the piano, reading from our pile of books and we've been going on walks with the dog daily.

Today I got a little creative myself and made a fairy garden - we'll see if those flower seeds germinate in the next 10 days (growing things is not my forte, but this is a time to be emphasizing growth of good things, right?) I dug up an old Scripture coloring book and did some coloring as well - it's a great way to focus on the Word and calm our spirits.

"The Earth is the LORD's and Everything in it." Psalm 24:1

We ended the night with a bonfire and a reminder that there are many things to be thankful for during this time.

Church on Sunday was Facebook live with Darren and Ron tag-teaming the message about how Jesus is with us in the midst of the storm. Here's the link to the feed:

https://www.facebook.com/spoonerwesleyanchurch/videos/2881853555212162

Home School with the Principal...

2020-03-21T17:59:00.001-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Day 5: Tuesday was the first "Home schooling" day for my kids at home. Baking and creating was a fun activity for my 16 yr. old. The staff came in today for the last time to get their packets ready to send out and families came in to pick up anything they left at school along with the educational resources. Staff were thankful for the reassurance and the chance to connect one last time with their students before school is completely closed. Gov. Evers banned all events over 10 people and restaurants are closed.

Day 6 Wednesday

Shell Lake Schools serve over 1,000 meals to families in the district delivering by bus or pick up at school. Families were so thankful for this service - some in tears for the blessing it was to have food in a very difficult time. Gas is $1.73 which is amazing but it's still a time for tightening our belts and thinking about finances. I think of all the people in jobs where they have to interact with people - they are either putting themselves at risk or they are out of work. The stock market has been on a crazy dive - we took a look at our retirement funds but I wouldn't advise that. Congress is considering stimulus packages but for right now people just want to know they have enough to pay rent or buy groceries. My heart goes out to them!

Day 7 Thursday: My poor kids don't get a break - I told them they had to get up at a reasonable time, had to put away their phones for the duration of the "school day" and they had to do all homework and chores before they could take a TV break. They had to haul 3 huge trees we cut down out of the woods - Physical Education! My daughter decided to put up her hammock and hang outside to read (she still needed a sleeping bag to stay warm though. They bought a frisbee, bubbles and a kite to keep them occupied outside in addition to setting up the trampoline for spring.

We have tried to stay busy with a pile of books and videos from the library (now it's closed sadly). They've been playing Ticket to Ride, Cover your Assets, Clue and Monopoly Empire. I figure that all counts as math, economics, history and more!

Day 8: I had 3 work meetings via Google hangouts and Zoom. I even recorded a message for Facebook to share with school families - a little vulnerable to put that out there but I wanted to give it a personal touch. It is nice to see people even it was via video - again people are feeling isolated so anything we can do to connect and interact with each other is helpful!

We had to transition our college student to online classes at home, so we created desks all around the house for each "student" and she transformed her bedroom to look like a dorm room. Illinois went on "Shelter in Place" today and travel in and out of the USA is severely restricted. I'm attaching this video of the Silent City only for historical purposes - it's eery and sad, but I'm so glad we got my daughter out of the city before it was too late. These are strange times indeed.

However, I'm proud to see all this creativity in my household on days 5-8. It's amazing to see our resilience and our ability to find positives during these strange times. I'm counting every blessing!

What are you doing to keep your chin up with your families at home?

Learning to live in a pandemic

2020-03-21T17:08:00.002-05:00

Psalm 50:1-2 The Mighty One, God, the LORD, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets....perfect in beauty God shines forth.

The sunrise over the field was a reminder of God's sovereign reign, His power shining forth and the fresh new start of each morning. He is in control even when I can't see it.

Day 2 (3/14):
Saturday, we stopped by the public library and had to stand behind a line of black tape to maintain social distancing. What an odd feeling. I knew why we had to do it but it felt a bit like I was a pariah. These are strange times.

Day 3 (3/15):
Sunday we went to church for the last time. Attendance was at about 50%, coffee was served by servers with gloves but we still worshipped and fellowshipped together. Church was a balm and praising God brought peace to my heart.

Day 4 (3/16):
Monday was spent in meetings all day long discussing as we were 3-6 ft. apart as a crisis response team and administrative team. We had to determine how to deliver meals to students, how to manage paying hourly employees, how to provide educational resources to families and who could still be allowed in the building.
Restaurants close in Minnesota as the crisis becomes more intense. It feels like we are losing freedoms and the loss of control adds to internal stress and pressure. It still feels like a bizarre dystopian armageddon type movie that we are living in. Europe is closed down for travel and everyone's anxiety is spiraling out of control as we wonder what is next.

March 2020 What a Weird World We Live in - Day 1 Friday March 13

2020-03-21T07:23:00.001-05:00

January 11, 2020 The first person in China dies of an unknown virus, the Coronavirus, later changing names to covid-19. Most of us in the US didn't think too much of it at this time - China is a long ways away. January 21 was the first confirmed case in the states but again it didn't seem to concerning yet. I remember H1N1 and the copious amounts of hand sanitizer and wipes that we provided to classrooms at the time but the actually flu never quite impacted us as badly as we expected, so my level of concern in January/February was pretty low (which was true of most of us here in America).

By February, things were getting out of control overseas, in Europe, S. Korea, a cruise ship in Japan, etc. It became a global health emergency (see the New York Times article for a timeline) and it was definitely concerning but it hadn't changed our lives at all at this point.

On Monday March 9, my school district was alerted that our students in Destination Imagination had been exposed to the virus by a person who tested positive who attended the event in Osceola. I was surprised - we had 2 positive cases in all of Wisconsin at this point - how could it have impacted little Shell Lake and our north woods rural communities? Now, it was finally seeming a bit real. A message went out to parents, the county health department was busy contacting all of those who attended the event, but we still had school... On Tuesday, the nurse suggested that we tell our staff to prepare for a school closure and get materials ready for students to learn at home.

Thursday March 12th we met as a crisis response team and realized that the changes were potentially going to come quicker than we had originally expected so we created some plans, changed our agenda for Friday's inservice day to include time for teachers to prepare packets of work and have them ready to go. Colleges started extending spring break for 2 more weeks so we knew it was coming - tension was in the air. Friday the 13th was a work day - we were ready for whenever the closure would come. Those two days were stressful, full of tons of decisions and planning and discussions with our team - conflicting opinions on how serious or long this might be and I came home each night exhausted from the pressure as a leader.

Darren wrote a blog "Fear and the Unknown" on the 12th and Drydenwire published it - it was a needed reminder to keep our eyes on the Lord during this time. I am reading two Lent devotionals right now and the scriptures have been amazing and timely:

John 14:1, and 27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.”

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

Friday the 13th - yep, it was a weird day and it was the first day of this historic and strange time which none of use were really expecting or prepared for.

Day 1

3:30 on Friday Katie got the message that she would not be going back to Chicago to complete her freshman year of college, but would be staying home and learning online for the remainder of the semester. It wasn't a temporary closure - she needed to go back (she was on spring break at home) and pack up her room to return home for the duration of the school year. We were shocked.

4:00 The governor of Wisconsin closed K-12 schools until April 6th. It still was a shock, but I felt like we were prepared.

We had dinner as a family and then I decided I should get to the grocery store before it got too crazy - just to do my normal weekly shopping, not to be a doomsday prepper (I heard a little about the toilet paper hoarding but I couldn't figure out why that was a big deal).

Aldi's was flat out depressing. It wasn't just toilet paper that was gone. Everything was gone - the shelves were empty - nothing I needed was there anywhere. No canned soup, no spaghetti sauce, bread, mac and cheese, green beans, chicken, fresh fruit or veggies. It was so strange. That night we all went to bed feeling out of place, off kilter, shell shocked and honestly lacking peace. What was going on? Day 1

Women of Influence Part II

2019-05-12T14:28:00.003-05:00

What and who has influenced me as a woman to be a strong leader and to be where I am today (Part I here)?

When I was a young woman, I remember being a bit affronted with the image of the Proverbs 31 wife - the Bible's example of the perfect woman, the almost impossible unattainable goal. The trouble was, I saw her as someone who was just a little TOO perfect, too industrious (can anyone say "workaholic") and definitely too much like the 1950's conservative image of a homemaker. I had a terrific example of motherhood in my own mom who cooked healthy meals for us, loved to be silly and celebrate with panache, made my dresses and gave me a wonderful childhood free of worries. However, as a new mom, I felt very strongly about being labeled as "just a mom" - I didn't want motherhood to be what defined me. I wanted to make my mark on the world and do Big things for God and I just didn't think that searching out the right food for mealtime or keeping an immaculate house was how I wanted to be remembered.

When I read Proverbs 31 some more, I began to realize that this lady from a whole different time and lifestyle was more like me than I had originally understood. First, she was determined to be a wife who brought blessings upon her husband which is really just being intentional about loving her husband. Second, she was a working woman - she worked hard to increase the income of her household and she was the supervisor (boss) over her household servants. She oversaw their work and their compensation in addition to reaching out and helping the poor of her community. She was the kind of CEO who genuinely cared about her employees and made sure they were well taken care of. When someone believes that to be a good wife and mother a woman needs to stay home, they are missing out on all the other capacities women have to share their blessings with others. The wife in Proverbs 31 was described as a woman of strength, dignity and wisdom and she was a woman who feared the Lord and that's definitely who I want to be.

When God asked me to step out of my comfort zone and take on leadership (as a high school principal), I remembered the example of the Prov. 31 wife and her approach to being a boss. I also drew from another resource which gave me a vision for my leadership style. It's encompassed in these four statements:

Lead Courageously

Reject Passivity

Accept Responsibility

Expect the Greater Good

I hope you find ironic that these statements are from a course of Biblical manhood (!) but these are the things that make me a as a woman into an influential leader. We have to reject passivity as often as women have been passive to the wishes or directions of others (regardless of whether those people have that authority). Being passive is a common pitfall but something that will never make a good leader. Lead courageously - for me courage has been an issue throughout my leadership journey - becoming courageous through my High school days in debate and being pushed into leadership by my InterVarsity leader. I have to be willing to take the plunge and do what is hard in order to be a good leader.

The women in my life who have influenced to be where I am today are worthy of my gratitude and I shared last week about a few who stood out in formative years but I want to also mention that I would never be who I am today without a few other women: First, my mom, who gave her life to us as her children and went back for her masters when we were all grown (in her 50's!) and became a counselor (never say it's too late to start something new or learn new things). Her mother, my grandma, is a woman who remembers the hardships of the Great Depression and has always been a strong willed woman who worked hard and still has deep convictions and a rebellious stubbornness to be independent (yes, I have some of that independent streak in me too). Women like Barb and Margot who listened to me and my issues as a young adult and kindly steered me in the right direction, giving me permission to be human (I'm so thankful they didn't judge me or patronize me).

For the last 13 years, the greatest influence has been my closest friend, who lives a life of service, using her creative talents to bless others and speak the truth of the gospel to our girls, to her patients and to her community. Her attitude and behaviors have been contagious and that's why we decided that we are each other's mentors. It's not one over the other, it's iron sharpening iron, and sharing what God is teaching us in order to continually refresh each other. That's what I think mentoring is all about - openly sharing about our faith walk with one another.

Women who inspired me professionally to be a strong female leader like Debi Wolf (my cooperating teacher), Terry Kronzer (Administration Program Director at UWS) and especially Anne Hopper, one of my first principals. Anne was the inspiration for me to pursue principalship because I saw in her leadership style someone who encouraged my strengths, minimized my weaknesses and gave me the opportunity to flourish as a new teacher. Her belief in me transformed me - I became who she thought I was because she gave me nurturing and positive feedback that fed my growth as an educator.

I just stumbled upon a note from a former student who made it clear that I had been a person of influence in her life without even knowing it. I wasn't doing anything flashy or big, wasn't being a public speaker and it wasn't through my best selling book; no, it was just me living a life of obedience to Christ and being faithful to Him. I think being a woman of influence means being a star in the sky that shines brightly of what God can do in the life of someone who is fully committed to Him. Being a woman of influence means having the courage to step out and try things and confidence that God's going to carry you. It's about seeing everything He's made us to be, not something anyone else wants us to be. It's about being completely committed to HIS purposes for us, not giving up, not giving in, not changing course, unless he whispers in our ear and then being a person who follows His lead.

If you've influenced me - know that you've given me a vision to influence others and for that I thank you!!!

Women of Influence

2019-05-04T07:03:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a woman of influence, someone whose life, words and actions influences others. Who are those people who have influenced us as women to be strong leaders, to courageously follow God's adventurous plan for us, to lean hard on Jesus and to become women of God who stand strong for His purposes? There were women along the way in my life who were my champions, my cheerleaders-they were women who challenged me to meet my potential; they were examples of godly womanhood who were unassuming and not even intentionally mentoring me.

I started pondering this a few months ago when I was asked who was mentoring me as part of a women's retreat conversation. I didn't initially have a good answer to this question....But, sometimes we make mentoring and discipleship into a program that people sign up for and the truth is it's really better when it's an organic relationship and we learn from someone simply by being with them.

I never really thought I would be a leader but other people saw that potential in me and it's their influence and mentoring that made me who I am today. I remember my InterVarsity leader, Shelly Trebesh, sitting me down as a college freshman and asking me why I wasn't leading a Bible study. I was thinking, ummmm, because I'm a freshman? and I don't know what I'm doing? Can't I just be led for a while first? Boy, did she have to work hard to get me to realize that I already had what it took to lead a small group - I had a deep relationship with Jesus and willingness to learn. Shelly's leadership gave me an example to follow and eventually inspired me to become a missionary.

My speech and debate teacher/coach, Debbie Rice, inspired me to try something completely unknown, something pretty intimidating (Lincoln-Douglas competitive debating) and I found for the first time in high school that I had a strength. Debbie Rice pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me learn how to research controversial topics, defend a viewpoint and be persuasive which built my confidence and made me think I wanted to be a lawyer (glad I didn't follow through on that on though!) Debbie Rice took a smart, insecure girl and made her into a powerhouse debater because she encourage my passion to speak publicly, and I'm grateful for her influence!

Without those two women in my life, I might not have had the confidence to speak publicly or the courage to lead others. I'm glad they saw God's gifting in me and encouraged me to be exactly who God made me to be. Since I've moved around so much, I don't believe either of these women know the impact they had upon my future life and where I've ended up now, which is often the case.

We usually don't have any idea if we've influenced someone or made a valuable impression upon them.

My grandma was the type of mentor to me that a grandma should me - it was simply her life example that spoke volumes. Whenever we would visit her, she had an old spiral notebook that she kept open on the kitchen table all day long and she would keep going back to it and jotting new things down. I didn't realize it at first, but this was her prayer journal and this was her lifestyle of continual prayer for those around her. She led a very simple life but as I asked her questions, I began to realize she was an amazing strong woman example for me. A lady who came to age in the 1940's and pursued her master's in counseling so she could minister to missionaries while they were on furlough, she had a passion for prayer, for people and for learning.

In my life, I've always wanted to be a woman of influence and I've pursued it with vigor at times because I desperately wanted to please God, to serve Him and share His hope with others. I wanted to make a BIG difference in this world and to see people come to Christ because I was faithfully sharing His good news. Although my heart was in the right place when I led women's Bible studies, flew off to Ukraine for a few years, started a writing and speaking ministry, etc. I wonder if I minimized the real ways that I can have influence.

God's given me the opportunity to be an influence in 3 young people's lives and that's probably the greatest way I can made a difference in this world. It isn't big and it isn't flashy but if my life is an example of faithful obedience to Christ, it will make a difference (I just might not always know how!)

Being a woman of influence means being a star in the sky that shines brightly of what God can do in a woman's life when she is fully committed to Him. It's about seeing everything He made me to be and being completely committed to His purpose for me, not giving up, not giving in and not changing course unless He whispers in my ear and then being a person who follows His lead.

(Part II is coming - I want to talk about women in leadership within the church, my vision statement and why I struggle with the Proverbs 31 woman.)

EVEN IF.... (Of shadows and Fiery Furnaces)

2019-04-11T09:40:00.001-05:00

The day I found out my son broke his neck, I sent him off to a youth group activity that evening. The students were in a gymnasium, dancing in the bleachers to a Christian rapper before they got to hear Brian Cole speak about how God rescued him from a life of drugs and destruction. Anyways, as I dropped off my son to a pretty harmless event, I had a pang of anxiety, wishing that I could control how rowdy the kids were being in the bleachers. What would happen if he was bumped and fell accidentally? As I drove back home, the prayers switched over from being for his safety to being about my faith and ability to trust God through all the "what if" scenarios that kept running through my mind.

Cody's personal coach mentioned to him that he was going through a fiery furnace type of trial, referring to the story in Daniel 3. Although we may have heard this story in childhood Sunday school classes, I would guess most of us can hardly imagine how intense this trial of faith was for those three men. It was during a time when the people of God had been evacuated to another country due to subjugation by the Babylonians and destruction of Israel. The three men were among a group of young people who were chosen to learn the ways of the Babylonians in order to become leaders of their own people but under the authority of the Babylonian monarchy.

The King, Nebuchadnezzar, had a bit of an ego and believed he should be worshipped (like God) by all of his subjects. When he required, by law, that all the people bow down to his statue, the three young men stood firm in their faith and chose to face the consequences of not obeying the king. When they were questioned by the king about why they would be so outrageous as to choose a blazing furnace over simply bowing to his statue, this is what they said:

"King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.

But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18)

God can certainly use a fire to forge us like silver into His image and into the strong people of character He wants us to be. Those three men decided they would rather be thrown into a blazing fire (which sounds like a truly horrible way to die) than deny their God. For me, when I faced the fact that my children's health is not really in my hands, but in His hands, I had to completely abandon myself to whatever He wants to do in their lives. I sat in prayer at a women's retreat and heard God asking me, "EVEN IF something terrible happens, will you still trust me?" And right there in that quiet moment, I realized that I had been walking around under a cloud of fear, which told me I wasn't really trusting God. Could I tell God "even if" this doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I will still trust You Lord?"

And then the next seminar in the weekend conference was about breaking down Psalm 23. Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor! The Bible teacher looked at each word with purpose and she asked us, "Have you ever noticed that it says the valley of the shadow of death?"

What is in a shadow?

OH. Wow - isn't that illuminating? Most of what we fear in this life isn't actually anything at all - it's just a shadow. The shadow itself is empty but we can often let that shadow keep us from living a full life.

Sometimes God performs amazing miracles and other times He allows us to experience deep pain and excruciating experiences in this life. As I've shared about our shocking turn of events with Cody, I'm acutely aware of friends who are still waiting for an answer with brain shunt surgery, struggling with breast cancer, experiencing the heart breaking loss of a daughter due to a random car accident, or the completely unexpected loss of a wife and mother. I've prayed for each of these people that God's will would be done and pled with him for healing but also asked Him to help me understand why He heals some and not others. I don't claim to understand who He allows such tragedy in one family and miraculous recovery in another - His ways are beyond my understanding. However, I want to be someone who knows deep in my core that "even if" hard times come, He is in control and I will trust Him.

My Fear Doesn't Stand a Chance....

2019-04-04T20:25:00.001-05:00

Back in January, my 14 year old son was practicing wrestling after school with the high school students. He was drilling and rolling around on the mats with seniors and boys who were bigger than him. It's been that kind of year - his passion for this sport has led him to many one-on-one lessons, extra practices and hours weight training with older students and coaches. In one of these practices he injured his neck, and came home in pain and needing to take a day off school to let it heal.

After Cody's neck injury, we gave him some time to recover, rest and recuperate and he started feeling better. After a couple of weeks away from wrestling, he wanted to get back into it again so we slowly eased him back into it. He started off the middle school season with a few good meets, won a tournament and then it became clear this neck pain wasn't getting better, so two weeks ago we had an x-ray done.

That's when the roller coaster ride began. At the doctor's office we heard that he had an acute neck injury - a significant tear in ligaments between C1 and C2 vertebrae, damage to discs and possibly more. The x-ray led to a CT scan and following that the words that made our hearts sink.

The doctor's told us this injury could have ended in paralyzation or even worse, considering as how it was called "the hangman's" condition. I sat there in the doctor's office wondering what this meant for Cody, waiting for more information for the doctor. The gravity of the situation was overwhelming and I felt like I was experiencing all of this in slow motion.

While I was trying to keep my calm face on, Cody was silently praying. We were sitting in silence just waiting to find out what was next but I was still in a bit of shock and I think he was too. I called my closest friend and asked her to pray for us and her words over the phone gave me peace and strength.

The results of CT scan weren't very clear but the doctor was certain that regardless, this would mean a huge lifestyle change for Cody. As we were standing in the office, talking to the doctor about what next steps would be, he calmly said to us:

"Cody will never wrestle again."

The shock of this statement went deep down to our core - was this the death of a dream? Were we just incredibly blessed by God's protective hand that Cody wrestled with this severe of an injury and didn't end up getting paralyzed? What kind of life would Cody lead if this injury meant he couldn't play contact sports anymore?

On the drive home, we played loud music on the radio and Cody told me he might not want to talk about how he was feeling and he might be grumpy. But he kept interrupting the music to tell me that he could still find positives: maybe he would sing in an a capella choir next year and no matter what, he would still be able to fish, which is his first passion.

After we got home, my husband was on the phone (still at work) with another doctor and he was receiving another layer of news. The CT scan showed significant damage to the discs and even a fracture in the vertebrae which most likely meant Cody would need surgery to fuse the two vertebrae together. This would mean no contact sports EVER. Darren spent extra time in the office in prayer and tears before God asking for wisdom on how to deliver this news to his son.

The whole family sat around the living room as Darren shared the bleak news from the doctor. My daughter bawled at the thought of her brother needing such a serious surgery and losing his dream. Darren read Psalm 23 over Cody and prayed for him....

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing

....though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil...."

We contacted family and friends to pray for Cody and shared the scary news with many people that night. Among them were a couple of people whose reaction meant the world to us. One of Cody's personal coaches asked him to dinner, shared a powerful letter with him about being a man of God and prayed for him. A wrestling mom (who is also a missionary) wrote a long message to Cody about following God's plans for his life and not being discouraged by this disappointing turn of events because God was in control. Cody called a classmate who was headed into brain surgery - the two boys shared their concerns about dealing with surgery and recovery and developed a bond based upon this. Many, many people joined us in prayer for Cody and this support was incredibly encouraging.

Part II:

Two weeks after the initial doctor visit, we finally got to hear about the results of the MRI. The neurosurgeon gave us amazing news. The ligament torn had actually torn off the bone, which would heal naturally and the fracture was on a growth plate which also would heal on its own because Cody's body is still growing. NO SURGERY. Wow.

I had just spent the weekend praying and telling God that I had to let go of my fears that any little thing could hurt Cody with this injury because No.Matter.What. GOD is IN CONTROL. I know it in my head but I had to get real with God and lay down my fears, stand firm on His rock and TRUST Him to take care of my boy.

And now the doctor (who was a college wrestler himself!) was telling us that there was a very good chance Cody could heal COMPLETELY in 3 months and be able to participate in sports again.

A couple more phone calls. People crying, shocked by the change of events and the amazing impossible news. If I don't call this the work of God's hand, then I feel I am discrediting Him and His role through this whole experience. I held in my emotions through the whole last two weeks, but I kept holding on to HOPE that God was holding us in His hands and that He was going to carry us through this one way or another. I never asked for a miracle, I just asked for grace to walk through whatever God brought our way, but He had other plans.

In the midst of this crisis, I saw my son's faith, His absolute trust in God and his mature heart to look for the good in every situation. I'm sure the journey isn't over yet, but as we use the next 3 months to heal completely, we will continue to praise God for the answer He has given us.

The Fruit of our Labor

2014-08-29T07:17:00.004-05:00

This summer has been glorious, warm, and filled with fresh produce. Our backyard garden yielded plenty of zucchini, yellow summer squash, carrots, green beans, broccoli, spinach and the sweetest corn. In addition, we've filled our freezer with raspberries and strawberries. Before I moved to the mid-west, I had never really had a garden (growing up in the arid southwest, it wasn't much of an option), so I had a lot of learning to do. We fertilize our garden plot in the fall (and sometimes spring), prune apple trees in the fall, till up soil each spring and plant our favorite veggies in nice straight rows. If it's a dry summer, we water the garden in the evenings and around the middle of July, we start picking, chopping and freezing the fruits of our labor. Often, there are jars of strawberry, raspberry or grape jam made along with our traditional fall applesauce making day. Someone peels, someone cooks up sauce, someone measures out ingredients, someone boils jars, someone mashes up the cooked sauce and we all help clean up the sticky floor at the end of a day of canning.

Whew! It's so much work to make all of these foods; why not just purchase them from the store? The labor of growing and preserving our own foods really does make them sweeter. I think no candy in the store can compare to the fresh sweetness of homemade strawberry jam.

When I feed on the fruits of my own labor, I appreciate and savor each juicy bite. I am eating wholesome food and I'm an active participant in every step in the process.

How does that translate to our spiritual walk? Are we fed a constant diet of "fast food," spiritually speaking? If short, cute snippets of God's word are all we ingest, we aren't having a balanced diet. Do we pretty much just "eat out" all the time? Is our spiritual growth dependent upon whatever the pastor is preaching or what we hear on the radio or read online?

Or are we digging into the word, getting our nails dirty, harvesting the power of repeated words, searching for deeper understanding, cutting apart paragraphs to find the juiciest truths?

2 Timothy 2:15 "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." We can all be workmen in our own spiritual garden of truth as we handle the word of God correctly.

The more we labor over God's word, studying it on our own, reading it as if it were candy from the store, the more we will grow spiritually.

Psalm 119:103 'How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"

In a world of constant communication, it can be easy to live of pre-digested, neatly packaged truth. But, if we want to be spiritually mature, deepening our faith, moving on to a new level, we must spend time studying God's word. In deep study, we dig up treasures in God's Word and feed on the meat of Scripture.

"But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." Hebrews 5:14

Let's dig in!

P.S. If you want to get started studying God's word, but aren't sure how to begin, just ask!

Heather

Prayer for the Woman in Ministry

2014-08-04T08:01:00.001-05:00

Dear Woman in Ministry,

This prayer is for you. I’m praying for you today because I know how valuable you are to the kingdom of God and I know your tender heart for God’s purposes.

Lord, bless my sister with the peace that passes understanding. When things get busy and life is crazy with demands that seem unending, remind her to sit at your feet like a Mary (instead of a Martha; Luke 10:38-42). Give her the peace that passes understanding as she lays her burdens at your feet (Philippians 4:6-7). Remind her that Your burden is easy and Your yoke is light (Matthew 11:28-30) and gently guide her to the cross where she can unburden herself and trust in You.

Father of our hearts, give this woman grace. Grace to respond kindly to those who criticize or judge unfairly, because You know Lord that those people are hurting and need Your grace as much as the rest of us. Mostly, give her grace as she judges herself. Let her know the overflow of Your grace (2 Corinthians 9:8) when she makes mistakes and when she drops the ball, or gossips, or hurts someone’s feelings, or doesn’t communicate well. Pour out your grace on her and remind her that You don’t use perfect people; You use people who are broken and poured out for You.

Lord, guard her heart from the arrows of the evil one. May Your cloak of righteousness protect her from the temptations of the world: temptations to lose heart, to give up, to despair; or to find comfort in any place other than You. Guard her mind, Lord, from the thinking of this world and the lies of Satan (with the helmet of salvation). May she keep her mind focused on You and take every thought captive, committing her inner dialogues to You (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Shield her all about with the protection that comes from faith. Let her hope be in You, for You will not let her down. Oh Lord, please protect her marriage and make her home a refuge from the battles she fights for You. Guard her children and pour out Your blessings upon her home as she commits her life to You, Lord.

Give her a spirit of readiness, that she would be willing to serve You when You call. Oh Lord, give her wisdom to distinguish between what opportunities are from You and which are only going to be more BUSYness. Grant her compassion for the lost, the hurting, the helpless. Give her Your eyes and Your heart for the world that she might say, “Here I am Lord, send me ” (Isaiah 6:8).

Above all, Father, make her a woman of prayer, an intercessor for the people You love. May she battle for their hearts in prayer and be a warrior alongside You to see victory for Jesus. God, strengthen this woman You have chosen to serve You. Make her courageous and powerful for Your glory (Ephesians 6:10:18).

Dear Lord, use this woman to further Your kingdom, to glorify Your name and to spread the truth of the gospel far and wide. Lord, make her wholly YOURS, committed to Your purposes and completely sold out for You. May she fall deeply in love with Your Lord, that all her service to You becomes merely an act of pure love (2 Corinthians 5:14). Pour out Your love, Your grace, Your truth upon her: fill her with Your Spirit so that she lives only by Your Spirit and not in her own flesh (Galatians 5:16).

Fill her. Use her. Strengthen her. Empower her. Bless her. Protect her. Live in her and work through her.

By the power of the risen Lord, I pray. AMEN

P.S. Did you need me to pray anything else for you?