Utterly Bewildered Mother/ Wife/ Woman

Recipes

2009-11-11T09:02:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone,

With the holiday season, come up. I thought I would post a few of my favorite recipes over the next few weeks.

My publisher the Wild Rose Press is also coming out with their annual cookbook.

You can download it for free. I'll let you know when it is available.

Tina

Easy Fudge

2009-11-11T07:53:00.000-06:00

1 (8 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate bits
1 (14 oz.) can Eagle Brand milk
Dash of salt
1/2 to 1 c. nuts
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Melt bits in milk over low heat, remove from heat and add nuts and vanilla. Spread in lightly buttered 9 inch pan; chill until firm, cut.
Remove from pan. Store at room temperature.
Better after 24 hours.
Have a great day,

Tina

Patience

2009-11-09T02:29:00.001-06:00

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. -Dutch Proverb

Tina

Last Golf Outing for the Year

2009-11-07T12:42:00.002-06:00

The golfing season in Nebraska is probably over.

Mike and I managed to get in nine holes this past week. We enjoyed a beautiful day, but with all the leaves on the ground we lost a number of balls. Can't say we played that well either but we had fun.

Hope you can get one more round in before it gets cold in your neck of the woods.

Have fun,

Tina

Put the Time Monster in the Corner

2009-11-04T01:53:00.001-06:00

This is about setting limits for yourself. We can’t do it all. No matter how much we might want too. We have to let some things go, say no and move on.

I think this is the perfect time to say that this is the end of my time management blog series.

Many things ripple across the sands of time. The next wave has washed up a beautiful shell that has unbelievable possibilities.

I need to get busy writing.

Tina

Today Quote

2009-11-02T02:28:00.001-06:00

True happiness is not made in getting something. True happiness is becoming something. This can be done by being committed to lofty goals. We cannot become something without commitment. -Ashton

Tina

Rules of the Game in Battling the Time Monster

2009-10-28T05:45:00.000-05:00

Some of us let circumstances rule our time. Take the kids to school, go by the dry cleaners, helping others do their work, or just answering the phone. These little things can eat up a lot of time and make it hard for you to get anything done.

But before we tackle these things lets get down the rules.

What is really important – you know the non-negotiable items that can't be put off or delayed. Such as family, health, education, career, spirituality. How do you rank these things?
Then come up with negotiable. The kids in soccer, baseball, football, the volunteer time at church, the group of friends that get together once a week to gab.

Once you know what things you are willing to change and those things that can’t. Then you can start carving out time to do the things you want to do.

Small bits of time like:

Watching commercial – most mother’s use these breaks to cook, clean, or do small chores around the house.
Daydreaming – now this one is important if you’re using this time to say plot out a scene, or decide on which direction you want the story to go. It can be very valuable for deciding what you want to do next.
Waiting for appointments – this can be use to catch up on articles that you need to read or work through the mail or write bills.
Riding in the car – this can be use to find out what the kids are doing, setting in your mind what has to be done, and what can wait.

It may sound like you’ve got to stay busy every second of the day. But no one can do that, just determine how much down time you need and work that into the schedule too.

For example if you can’t sit for a long time without getting bored or restless. Set up your breaks so that you go to bathroom, get a drink, eat, delivery items to other people, any thing that still gets a task done, but gives you a break too.

But I’m tired of thinking I want to rest!

Find the items that don’t require a lot of thought and spread them throughout your day to give yourself a break. If you don’t have any, give yourself a time-out. Two minutes to think about nothing. Set a timer and go. Then when it’s over remind yourself that you’ve had a break and you’re ready to face that next hurdle. (Important: the time-out has to be without interruption or you’re not going to feel like you got a break.)

Ride the wave or swim against the current. Both can be fun.

Thought of the day

2009-10-26T02:25:00.001-05:00

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. -Oscar Wilde

Tina

Review for Youthful Temptations

2009-10-23T07:03:00.000-05:00

Youthful Temptations is about a couple finding love and overcoming stereotypes. We see that we all have baggage, it’s a part of us, and those that love us don’t mind the load we carry. Awesome story, I really enjoyed Youthful Temptations.

Reviewed by Raine at Joyfully Reviewed.

To read the whole review click on the link.
http://joyfullyreviewed.com/reviews/Oct09/youthfultemptations.TG.html

Thank you, Raine, for a great review.

Tina Gayle

Killing the Minions of the Time Monster

2009-10-20T07:07:00.001-05:00

All of us know people who slow us down. Either they don’t plan ahead, or they get behind and hand you their stuff at the last minute.

This can kill a well laid out schedule if you are depending on someone to get something done.

Some things that might help:

Reorganize – Review the way things need to be done so that you’re not held up by them.
Set deadlines - If they don’t meet your schedule let them know you won’t be done on time. (This is important even if you’re at the bottom of the food chain. They have to know others are depending on you too.)
Keep moving - Either by working on something else until you get the information you need or by getting enough key information from them that you can keep working without waiting for them to finish.
Learn other’s method of working - Some people are always in crisis mode, find out who these people are and give them an earlier deadline, that way you might get the information by the time you need it. Or if a person gets things right away, you might put off giving them the work so that when they get it back to you, you’ll be able to finish it right away.

As we keep learning again and again, planning is the key to winnin the battle against the time monster.

Thoughts of Love

2009-10-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

One man all by himself is nothing. Two people who belong together make a world. -- Hans Margolius

I have to admit my husband is a big part of my world.

Tina

Avoiding the Second Punch of the Time Monster

2009-10-14T07:37:00.000-05:00

Peat and Repeat were seating on a wall.
Peat fell off.
Who’s left?

How many times did it take you to get tire of this joke?

Well, life feeds us the same type of comedy.

We repeat many of the same task over and over until we are ready to scream for it to stop.

So if you haven’t guess by now, my next tip for saving time is -- don’t repeat the same job task.

(Some things are worth repeating. Hey, I’m a romance writer. Couldn’t help but throw in that line.)

Now back to business.

Create program macros – that automate your work.

My favorite macro is F10 on my keyboard. It does spell check for me so I don’t have to go through all the keystrokes to check my document.

Reuse information – don’t rewrite a letter over and over.

All writer use this went we send out query letters. Write once send to seven or eight different editors.

Create document templates.

I do this when I create worksheets. I have one that I use when I do my rewrites that identifies all the items I want in a scene.

Learn shortcuts

Forgot to set something out for dinner, hey make reservations or drop by the deli in your local grocery store. Either way it’s one least thing to worry about.

If people are asking you the same questions over and over. Create a frequently asked question document.

Don’t do this yet, but once I get my website up I will probably add it to my site.

As always look for ways to let the wind fill your sails and carry you forward, don’t keep trying to row that boat.

Tips for Blogging

2009-10-12T08:07:00.002-05:00

Looking for tips on how to blog or what to blog about check out this site.

http://www.chrisbrogan.com/how-to-blog-almost-every-day/

I have to admit I hadn't thought about most of the advise given.

But now, I have to put the ideas into practice.

Tina

In a Fight with the Time Monster

2009-10-07T02:48:00.000-05:00

Another tip – is if you have too much information-

break it down or file it until you need it.
Don’t read the whole article.
Get rid of outdate material and start over.
Mark, scan and file.

Sometimes we do this unintentional. This week I accidentally killed by email connection which deleted several years worth of information that I had stored in email. Class information, business connections, interesting items, all gone in only a few seconds with no hope of recover.

Now, I have new clean files.

I haven’t missed anything yet, but I don't recommended this way of doing it. Faster, but way more painful.

The waves move the sand, and new things are uncovered.

Quote of the Day

2009-10-05T07:19:00.000-05:00

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.

— Henry David Thoreau

From the following website.

alottoolbars.com

Taming the Time Monster

2009-10-03T10:59:00.000-05:00

Make Quick Decisions

This may sound elementary but a quick decision can save time and money.

For example that stack of mail that you just brought in. What is the best way to handle it?

Let’s look at some options:

My option, which I must admit is the wrong one, is to lay it on the table and deal with it later.
Get rid of the Garage - throwing away the ads* and junk mail, set the letters aside to open later. (This may sound simple but if you can make a quick decision on the things you don’t need that less you’ll have to deal with later.)

* Point here is if you do look through ads, only pick the ones where you will shop, or only keep the ones that you will have time to visit this week.

Open everything and sort by need – bills, things to be shredded, letter that need action.

The bills get sorted by their due date and put in a place where I can write out the checks and send in. (A quick five-minute task)

A box next to the shredder will get the shredding stuff to let the kids do or if (I have a few minutes)

Letters that need attention, will be set up in another area for when, you got it (I have five-minutes)

Do everything at once.

As you can see there are many ways to break a task down into small bites. The main point is to make a quick decision on what you need and what you don’t. If the out come is not important – a quick decision can save time and teach you how to make a decision without regrets.

Don’t get drug down by the undercurrents of life’s tides

Ride the waves and enjoy life.

Tina

The Dawn of Fall

2009-09-30T08:46:00.001-05:00

Cold Weather is coming and the wind is changing.

Time to switch out the clothes and settle in for the winter.

It can also be a time to re-evaluate your goals and see if you are on track to where you want to be by the end of the year.

I have a short story I'm trying to get done and then I need to get going on a series I've been planning all year.

Guess I better get my rear in gear and get-her-done.

Tina

Reaching Your Destination

2009-09-28T04:41:00.001-05:00

The journey of a thousand miles
starts with a single step.

Chinese Proverb.

Even once you're on the path some steps are harder than other and the need to rest can claim us. Stop take a breath and continue. As long as you keep moving forward you will reach your destination.

Have a wonderful week,

Tina

A Casual Comment

2009-09-25T04:00:00.001-05:00

How many times has a friend or co-worker suggested you try something?

Your answer, "Sure, I plan on doing that, but today I’m just too busy."

Yet, one day for no reason, you don’t put it off. You go to the gym and meet a handsome hunk on the way inside the building.

"Never happen," you say, and you know it can’t happen to you.

But what happens when it does?

I have a friend that made such a casual comment to me.

"Hey, Tina. There’s this great publisher that might like your story. Why don’t you send it in?"

Now, I could have put it off. Said the timing wasn’t right.

I didn’t. I took a chance.

Guess what?

It paid off. I sold my first book.

Never happen to you.

I can’t say.

Just don’t let the undertow of despair wash away the waves of hope that come your way.

Tina

Managing the Time Monster

2009-09-25T01:38:00.000-05:00

Lesson One - Scheduling your life

The one thing that I think we all struggle with is time. It is the great equalizer. Everyone only gets 24 hours in a day. I don't care how rich you are, or how smart you are. We all have the same limited number of hours in the day.

Break your projects into bit size pieces.

I read an article that said that most of us are so busy that the most time we can spend doing one task is about five minutes.

Okay, what can you do in five minutes?

Mop the floor.
Write a novel, a scene, a sentence, a word. (Not counting the time it takes to boot up you computer.)
Drive the kids to a baseball game.

I could go on and on, but I think you get my point. Most task take more than five minutes.

The trick is to take a large task and break it up.

"Mop the floor. (this is my personal hell)" – but look at it this way.

What part of the floor needs the most attention? The corner where Johnny didn’t clean up his mess, the spots where dirt has collected, the dust bunnies that are growing in the corner. (Bunnies multiply quickly)

Got five minutes? A wet paper towel can fix these spots. The floor looks nicer and you can wait now, until you can get someone else to do the floor or have more time.

I know this was a simple example but if you can break down your tasks to bite size chunks. They are easier to swallow and you can get more done.

Don’t let the waves pull you under.

Sometimes We Need to be Stubborn

2009-09-23T04:58:00.000-05:00

At certain times, the need to drive through a difficult situation shows us that it takes a stubborn attitude to succeed.

For me, this hits whenever I get to the last part of the book I'm writting. I know how I want it to end. I see the finish line ahead, but my energy to complete the task wanes. I want to start something new, I need to work on the synopsis, there's a book I want to read, etc. A million and one other things suddenly sound so much more enticing than writing that final chapter.

This is where a stubborn desire to get the job done, pulls me through. Makes me sit in the chair, type the words and finish the book.

Once I'm done, then that persistant little donkey in my head lets me rest. I'm free to work on all those other tasks and get on with life.

So as much as you might dislike your stubborn streak, be glad you have it. Because when you really need it, your little donkey is what helps you get the job done.

Tina

Speak

2009-09-21T04:39:00.000-05:00

The courage to speak must be matched
by the wisdom to listen.

Well-timed silence
hat more eloquence than speech.

M.T. Tupper

A skill I'm still struggling to master.

Have a wonderful week,

Tina

Fitting In

2009-09-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

This may sound like a strange topic for a person over forty, but if you think about it, we all want to fit in one way or another.

Some of us go to a job outside our homes where we have to get along with a grumpy receptionist or deal with a knit-picking boss. We shares our woes of our imperfect job with a friend, someone who makes us feel that we’re not alone on those days when we feel out of sync with our co-workers.

In that respect, I don’t have to worry. You see I write. There’s no one around when I write. It’s a solitary endeavor, which would make one think I’m home free, in paradise, away from the annoying people of the outside world.

Wrong! I get lonely. I have this insatiable desire to talk, and talk, and talk some more. It’s a terrible habit I can’t seem to break.

And what do I want to talk about?

Writing, it’s kind of a passion for me.

Yeah? Well, what about your family? They’re interested, right?

Not when you are a romance writer and a mother of two teenage boys. World of War Craft and video games, karate and fencing moves; these are the topics of choice in my house.

So where are my comrades, the people to whom I can connect?

Lost, I thought, in a world of their own design, stuck behind their desk, in their office, on a street far, far away in another galaxy.

So I prepared myself for the journey and scouted out my local library. A critique group was forming of local writers. I joined right in, ready to share my heart. My enthusiasm dimmed quickly when I discovered that the other writers didn’t exactly share my passion for romantic novels.

Still I went; searching for other places my compatriots might be hiding. A local community class was an alternative I looked into. And it worked for a short time but again, with a wide range of interests and different genres, I didn’t feel at home. But I was lucky enough to be given a name of a group that seemed to be what I wanted.

Romance Writers of America had a local chapter not far from my house, and they met once a month. They didn’t require a secret handshake to join, but I must say when I walked into that first meeting, I was leery.

Would this be the right place for me? Would I be accepted?

The lady that took my money at the door, smiled at me, was even friendly. But then again, that was her job, she wanted my money. She suggested I attend the ask-an-author session being held across the hall.

The published author would answer any question I had, she said.

Right, I thought, like they’re going to talk to me, an unpublished nobody.

To my surprise, they did.

Then they walked into the RWA meeting with me, sat down in the same room with me, and treated me like an equal. To my happy surprise, no one called me out for being a wanna-be, a bad pretender, a no name author.

Well, as you can guess, I found my home. The ladies and men in the group welcomed me each time I attended a meeting. They didn’t scoff at my stupid questions, but instead told me things I needed to know. They supported my passion with cheers of encouragement.

I made friends. I became involved. With their help and support, I changed.

And now that I have my first contract, I know I will find the help I need to take me to the next level.

Thank you everyone at Heartland Writers Group for the beautiful ripples you’ve made in my life.

A Birthday Story

2009-09-16T04:01:00.000-05:00

Some might look at this cake and laugh. It's not perfect. No expert cook baked it. But the love inside is much greater, which to me makes it the best cake ever.

My husband and I watch a lot of food network. The cake decorating show are some of our favorite. We've talked many times about getting the recipe for fondant. It has to be hard, if the chef use it right?

Well, I can't say, but my husband can. He found the recipe on the internet and decide to give it a try for my birthday.

Not a simple task, he spend hours mixing the recipe together and rolling out the dough. What you see is the time it takes to create a beautful example of what a man will do for the woman he loves.

A master piece in my eyes, I am very blessed to be married to such an awesome guy. Even if he drives me crazy at times.

And the flowers are a gift from my son. Hope when your birthday comes around, it's as good for you.

Tina

Inspiration

2009-09-14T04:35:00.001-05:00

A misty morning
does not signify
a cloudy day.

Ancient Proverb.