Lovable Hermit

My Dinner

2012-01-28T20:30:00.003+08:00

This is my dinner. Only vegetables (leek, cabbage, carrot, pea) and one mango lily. I eat them with sesame oil and chilly sauce. This is because I want to go healthy and control my weight. Had been eating a lot for the past few days.

Why I skip my Reunion Gathering

2012-01-28T18:49:00.005+08:00

After so many years of leaving school we still held school reunion during either Chinese New Year or any part of the year when many of those now residing outstation coming back to town.

Depend on my mood on that particular time I may sometimes will not attend them. In fact I have skip many years of my school friends gatherings especially those years when I was young. The reasons I skip are because I feel very uncomfortable and sad to give a lousy update of my self in all aspects, that is career achievement, marital status, relationship status, which countries to go to for holidays. All focus on name and fame and financial standing. Because I fail all those and very embarrassed. I also have family problems in my younger days. Thus I do not attend many reunion with them.

Now as I am old I think they emphasize less on these name and fame matter. Now at my age, the topics they discuss are cholesterol level, sugar level, weight problem, or rearing pets for companionship. I start to meet up again lately.

Still today I skip one reunion mainly because I m not in the mood. Don't like to tell them that I change job again. All the hoo-ha as if there must be something wrong with me. I already not happy inside and I do want any additional pressure. Different if they are my colleagues who already knew this matter. In addition I was also very lazy and tired after the lost key in the office. Although the case has been solved and settled, my whole body energy already drained and finished.

My plants

2012-01-28T17:47:00.005+08:00

This is my asparagus fern. I just bought one small plant and they multiply till i have several pots. Asparagus fern prefer shady place. May it always keep growing.

This is my many petals bunga raya or hibiscus plant. It is blooming. Wish that it can flower more in the future with my fertilizer.

How forgetfulness & / or carelessness can affect you

2012-01-28T17:24:00.006+08:00

Case 1.

If you go out of the house without taking also the keys out. You surely got hell of the trouble especially if you do not have any relatives outside who have the spare keys. You got to go through the stress of waiting for the locksmith to come and unpick the lock. And not all locks can be unpicks. Mine at one time lock was cut by the locksmith due to he unable to unpick it. A very big hardened lock from the old time. Besides the cost of the locksmith, you got to buy a new set of lock.

Solution: Have a spare set of lock hidden or buried in a part of the garden which you alone know where. Used to have a spare set in the car, and the car was smashed and keys stolen altogether

Case 2.

If you went out from the office without taking the key with you. You too will have a big headache if and when the rest of the colleagues are on leave. The chances are they will knew that you are careless, forgetful and not to be relied completely.

Solutions. Have another spare set keep by a better understanding colleague.

Case 3.

You are rushing to work in the morning. And you are unable to trace where you put your spectacles. You search like mad woman/man from one room to another. You search at your dining table, your sofa, your bed yet you couldn't find your spectacles. Finally you decided you can no longer find it without the help of another spare spectacles. If you are a bit lucky, you will have a spare old spectacles left for assistance. Quickly I wear it and find high and low for the spectacles that I urgently needed to go to work.

Solution : Always put the spectacles in the same place if you go to the bathroom.

Likewise always put the same place for your keys when you reach home.

*** A friend of mine was looking for her spectacles until she stepped on her spectacles accidentally.

These all too indicate a sign of age catching up.

Photo tricks

2012-01-24T23:25:00.006+08:00

Long long time ago, even until today, when people see my photos , they want to make friend with me. But when they see the real me they tell me, " You do not look the same as in the pictures." I instantly knew the meaning as I myself also aware that I look different in picture and in real person. Many people have informed me about this.

What a natural deceive!. To look better in picture than the real person.

The camera help to mask for me, haha.. and one can't locate me by seeing my pictures.

My favourite verse of the Bible

2012-01-24T22:50:00.003+08:00

I haven't completely read the Bible yet. While I was flipping through some chapters, some verses seems to sound nice . One of those is ;

Psalm 37:3-4

Trust in the Lord and do good
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture

Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

If this hold true, by being obedience to the command of the Lord, be like Christ likeness, the Lord will reciprocate me with the desire of my heart. What an interesting beneficial bargain. It is not difficult to obey the Lord.

Again, as in many other aspect of life, time will tell. Then I shall know. Or hopefully not the other way round, I must have faith first then the above principle will hold true. A bit tough.

Jan 1, 2012

2012-01-01T21:42:00.003+08:00

That significant matter that i mention in my last post was i have my water baptism last night. That to say, i have embrace the Christian religion publicly.

The old has gone, the new has yet to come. The old has gone together with year 2011. May 2012 is a breakthrough for me in my career and my personal life. I like all the sermons so far.

Wish that this is a better year for me. Wish that I can also read a few passages of the Bible daily consistently.

30 Dec 2011

2011-12-30T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today is the 2nd last day of year 2011. Let me tell you what I have happened to me during this year. The most remarkable event is that I have worked in 3 different companies in year 2011.

They have confirmed me. I should be happy here in this organisation. Wish that everything may goes smoothly for me for the rest of my working days. It is always a very busy in the office here.

My aim for the coming year a few of them among the many are:

1. To reduce my weight to below 50 kg

Tomorrow is another turning point of my life. Will blog about it soon.

Life is tough (Part 3)

2011-07-31T22:09:00.004+08:00

I did not write for many weeks because I was not happy with many things surrounding me. And there are all beyond my control. New surrounding, new job makes matter worse. So bad that I got to seek God's help to intervene to assist me to give me strength to keep living .

This morning at 10:30 am my car's battery went flat. Luckily it happen in the morning day light instead of a dark night in a lonely road. It had settled when the shop man came to change the battery for me.

Life is tough (Part 2)

2011-06-05T18:18:00.004+08:00

Life is forever tough, difficult and full of challenges. I found out the reasons mainly why I have no suitors are because I do not speak softly and slowly when I was young. These are very crucial for men to pick and accept their potential girl-friends and wives. I knew these too many years late. So sad. Thus i have missed opportunities. Just like i read from one blog sometimes back , his criteria and probably most men criteria to look for in a wife or girl friend is : somebody that may help him in his career, a woman who speak softly and slowly and articulate besides having a face that is attractive to look at. In addition to a good career and financial standing to boast about. This is truly "wah lau eh "
.
To speak softly and slowly is an art. No wonder majority of my superiors and colleagues dislike me. Too bad for me. To me this is just a mask. No wonder men said the women that they love change once they get married. It is crystal plain the women did not require to act anymore once the are hitched and married. To speak softly and slowly do not come naturally. It is a skill to learn and practise. It is very superficial. There are instances when one can hardly able to talk softly and slowly in case of emergency or being too much concern. Example just imagine how can one manage to talk slowly and softly if one's loved one eg baby or parents catch fire. Or maybe one's car window screen being smashed. The concern will over take the speak softly and slowly.

A failed actress like me is left alone on the shelf. What a miserable unfair life.

Separation

2011-05-22T21:40:00.003+08:00

Separation to me means no longer in close proximity with the circumstances or people. There are 2 separation for me in this year 2011.

No. 1 is the separation of my employment. Meaning that I have moved to other organisation. It has been 6 years I have been working there. I wouldn't describe it as complete bad or else I wouldn't have stayed with them for 6 years. My six years of "youth" and energy has gone into the manhole drain. Along the way, I met a few good people. If it had not for that company I also would not have get myself in this present job. Seems that life is always moving and never be constant. Wished that the future is good for me.

No. 2 is the separation of myself with the spiritual organisation that i went to last time. To say that I learnt nothing from them is far from truth. I quit there because I feel that they are too harsh. Too unreasonably harsh and cold and some illogical discplines. It takes me 6 years also to detect the harshness. Some people are wiser, they do not take that long to find out. According to some it was not intentional. Whatever it is, i feel that it is no longer pleasing to continue further. Let the past be the past and make a fullstop as what they love to emphasise. "Fullstop", one of the their favorite words.

Life is tough and stressful

2011-05-22T21:28:00.003+08:00

Life has always been tough and stressful for me. Tomorrow is my 1st day in my new work place. I am so full of anxiety, fearful and worries. The future is so uncertain and dreadful. The surrounding is new and not familiar. I do not like it. But because of circumstances I am landing in this new job of mine.

I have 3 people in different occasion and timing told me that the people here in this new place is good. Yet I am still wary. Life is always stressful unless I belong to those group that is couldn't be bothered attitude. Majority of the people are hard and tough. Wished that i belong to this category. I always wonder how come there are several people who are blind and foolish to describe me as tough and strong. Or have I have a very tough superwoman outlook. Funny, people's perception on me who usually not correct. Damn those fools.

Tonight I am so full of anxiety that I am sure not able to feel sleepy.

Botanical garden - entrance

2011-05-17T11:45:00.004+08:00

This is front entrance of Botanical Garden after the two pillar were dismantled down.

April 3, 2012 - Going To Church

2011-04-03T21:08:00.007+08:00

Today is the 9th week i attend church service, commencing from Feb 6, 2011. It is interesting to go to church to listen to the pastor's sermon. So far so good. The pastor talk logic. An acquaintance of mine stop going to church after she can no longer bear the preacher preach nonsense according to her ears after being a faithful christian of more than 10 years.

As for me, I prefer the listening of the 'lessons' part compared to the singing of worship session. No I m not a Christian. That's why when I hear the meaning of the songs which comprising praises I feel bored and lethargic. However I feel enthusiastic during the talking session by the pastor. I am really not sure whether I may be a Christian or not one day. The reasons are in every religions they have their own groups of followers claiming theirs to be the Truth and effective. I am still very impartial, fair and neutral as ever.

The amusing part is that when they have their mimic "last supper", I also ate the broken cracker and small mini cup of ribena juice just like old timer.

I am brought up in a strict Taoist family. Taoism is not without its setback and benefits. It is a pity that there is no proper lessons or education on Taoism except from some rare one which one may find in some text from the bookshop.

I am always curious how come some friends said that they have experiences with God be if from team A or team B God. I never have. Some people even had the extend of vision, eg vision of Light, vision of Kuan Imm, vision of Jesus, vision of Buddha. Sometimes I think that it is good that I never seen them before because if I were to really see them, I will sure fainted. So scaring then, they have died long ago, haven't they? No, no, I prefer not to have vision of them, I am really scared.

Tao Restaurant, at Auto City, Butterworth

2011-03-08T22:53:00.006+08:00

Went for a Japanese buffet dinner at Tao, Auto City for a colleague farewell dinner.

The restaurant is packed although it is a Tuesday night. I did not manage to capture the picture of the food at that time because I was too lazy to do so.

As you can see, the restaurant is well decorated. Even the toilet is of uncommon new design.

We cross the bridge from Penang to Butterworth. The journey took about half an hour to reach there.

My wound update - 6/2/11

2011-02-06T00:38:00.004+08:00

It has been a day to a month, yet my wound has not healed. So sad. Naturally I cannot smile as much as I should, who can if one were in my situation.

The taking of stitches was not painful, but my second time stitches was painful. It split and leak when i walked too much. The doctor re stitched back for the 2nd round. I was then wounded like a soldier been injured seriously.

My wound update

2011-01-23T18:45:00.003+08:00

So this is my wound after the second time stitches. It is much wider and more scar now. Hope that it will dry and heal fast.

20/1/11 - online diary

2011-01-20T17:58:00.005+08:00

My wound on my thigh has not yet healed. On the 14/1/11 i had my stitches untie. Very unfortunately on the 8/1/11 my wound leak and splits. It bleeds like a soldier's injury in the war time. So the following day I had my stitches cleaned, injection and sewn back. Naturally this dampen my spirit to write anymore, until and unless my wound is heal again.

On the happier side is that I have a new washing machine. This is my second washing machine in my life. I choose the same front loading, and the same brand as it was the first machine. After many comparisons I still opt for front loading. I like front loading more because it is less harsh to our laundry extending the life of our clothes and also uses less water compared to top load.

9/1/11 - update on my thigh

2011-01-09T20:54:00.007+08:00

Day 3 - 9/1/11

The bruise is spreading and has lessen. The center is the stitch.

7/1/11 - online diary

2011-01-07T20:50:00.006+08:00

It is a relieve to have one big fatty tissue lump (about 1" big) removed from my thigh today. The surgeon is very clever. The was no pain during the surgery and even after 12 hours after the surgery. Somehow when I ask the doctor for the cause of the tissue he can't explain. So this is my day today feeling very glad that it was over at the same time felt very sad by the sight of the hospital.

I saw many weak old people there laying on the beds. This makes me think that what is the uses or purposes of being strict if they were when they were once upon time young. Life span is finite and fixed. Life is useless once one can no longer get up walk, run and dance.

In 1996 i have a smaller lump removed from my arm by the same doctor. 15 years ago times flies.

Why many men like to have affair with married woman?

2010-12-30T20:35:00.008+08:00

It is well known fact that nowadays many men both bachelors and married men enjoy having affair with married woman compared to spinsters. Throughout my working lives and personal lives I have come across a thousands of such pairs. The reasons are very plain obvious. For those who thought that we do not know let me disclose to you. They are :

1. Relatively married women appeared to be more cheerful and lively compared to spinsters. Who will not be cheerful when one can boast about having a family i.e. husband, children , etc.

2. If the man were to have affair with a married woman, it requires less commitment. Less time and attention are also needed because the woman too will have to spend some time with her legal husband.

3. After the "project" the man can very easily wipe his buttock and wear pants and go off happily. Less string attached and less stressful.

4. Like the Chinese saying goes, "Stealing food taste more delicous". Likewise affair with married woman enhance the thrill and excitement more compared to having affair with spinster.

5. An affair with married woman also serve as less chances of contracting HIV compared to with prostitutes.

6. In case if the woman conceive the baby, it can very easily become the legal husband' child. One don't have to waste a single cent to pay for maternity bills or the chore of rearing the child up.

7. By having an affair with married woman, it need to be in the dark thus has more chances and also easier to flirt around with some other woman. Easier for man to have more partners simultaneously.

8. It is also a boost to the man's ego when he can successfully sleep with other man's wife.

9. The chances of married woman ability to win the man's heart is higher because they have already successfully hooked one man to married them.

10. In this modern age now, adulterous is already a norm, especially where they can easily meet and understands each other through work place or even some through being business partners initially.

11. The affair will be more attractive if the legal husband of the woman is rich high flyer. The man can happily announce Mr so and so's wife is my very "close friend, our relationship is sheer platonic, bla bla, bla".

12. Should the man happen to be also married, this will heighten the relationship further because both have common background- same marital status. Thereby more to exchange or talk about.

Please leave a comments if I have missed out any other reasons for these affairs.

Straits Quay, Penang

2010-12-29T21:42:00.014+08:00

Another new beautiful place in Penang. I snap them with my handphone camera, that is why there are not that sharp. I will be visiting this place again after the harbour is completed. The light house is really very attractive. There is also a long windy path which is very suitable for evening walks and couples walks and dens.

Wednesday 29/12/10

2010-12-29T20:07:00.005+08:00

The night is cold. So cold that I really think that fan or air-conditioner is not needed completely.
Two more days to year 2011. Another year has passed by. My life has nothing interesting to relate. Maybe spirituality is what I really need besides money for survival. You may query me what about friends and relatives. None of them is really closed with me . Too bad. Or maybe I m not good enough to find one, nobody knows.

In my life I have never celebrated english calender New Year before and I foresee the same goes to the far foreseeable future. The same year goes and come. Isn't it like this every year?. What a big event, I know not. Nothing new as I have gone through so many many years before.

Wish that I may upgrade myself so that I can survive still. Besides these I have lots of dreams, fantasies, funny crazy fantasies that never materialise at action level. Hahahahhaa.

Sun 26/12/10 - online diary

2010-12-26T16:39:00.011+08:00

Today is the happiest day of my life. No, I did not strike any lottery or Magnum. Neither did I get marry, get promotion or any romances and still financially poor.

I am happy because the time passes extremely fast. I have no worries, no stress and not a slight trace of tiredness. I am happy just being. I have learnt the art of let go and forgetting those that I suppose to forget. I listen with one ear and let out whatever that is useless in another ear. The present is so soothing and peaceful. The secret is that I have learnt not to demand limited desire and happiness; i.e. let go. ("What a big deal?", "so what" just to name a few) is what I should always be telling to myself.

Wish that I may able to sustain this elevated stage of mine forever.

Lighting up the "light'

2010-12-26T13:36:00.005+08:00

"No wonder your life is like a shit, somebody as good as you deserve something much better." this is what any feng shui master or fortune teller will be telling me because my lanterns are not light up. The lanterns signify the star or luck. After many years, finally I decided to test it out. See how nice the electrician has fixed for me all the wiring and installation. So my life should be "ignited" now with full life force energy.

So I guess, anything that happen in the future related to me will be good or the best. Farewell to the lousy bitter past.