Fubar'ed

Lions vs Packers 2011 Round Two

2012-01-02T11:08:00.001-05:00

Ok, yesterday, on New Year's Day, the Green Bay Packers beat the Detroit Lions again. There's no way around that fact. It's immutable. The final score was Green Bay 45, Detroit 41.

So far, however, people in the news business aren't really commenting on a couple key points of this game.
They all point out that Green Bay's backups beat the Detroit starters, and that Green Bay outscored Detroit, but none are really pointing out that the referees completely blew a call that would have resulted in an additional Detroit touchdown in the second quarter: Titus Young successfully caught the ball in the end zone with one foot down already and dragged his other foot in-bounds before falling out of bounds. It was a touchdown. The home audience saw it. The play-by-play reporters saw it and called it as such. Both coaches saw it, but the refs decided that it wasn't a touchdown. Oddly, a few plays later, a Green Bay reception under similar conditions was ruled a catch. That play alone would have made the difference in the game, but was completely neutralized and unchallenged.

The refs in general seemed to be biased against Detroit in the first half. On two separate occasions to the the "touchdown that never was" a Detroit ball carrier who was obviously down by contact had the ball come free, and on both occasions it was ruled as a fumble by the refs. Coach Jim Schwarz was right to challenge both of those calls, but only one was overturned even though both were obviously not fumbles: the carrier had been down, and the ball came free after he was down.

But you know what? I'm not going to whine or complain any further about the officiating. At this point, I want to remind everyone that yesterday, the Detroit Lions nearly beat the previously 14-1, defending Superbowl champions in their hometown. More or less the same team that finished last year with a 6-10 record, came up a few points shy of beating the theoretically best team in the league. The Lions scored more victories in this season alone than they did in the prior three seasons combined! Green Bay was expected to win yesterday's game by everyone, but they were nearly beaten by a team few expected to have a winning season this year.

Much is being made of Matt Flynn's record setting day yesterday, but what about Matthew Stafford's? Not counting the failed touchdown throws (which would have tied and exceeded Flynn's 6 on the day; lets not forget that Calvin Johnson dropped what would have been another wide-open pass for a touchdown), Stafford threw for 5 successful touchdowns which was a Lions' record if I'm not mistaken, and 520 yards in a single game — a definite Detroit record! Yesterday's game set all sorts of records for the NFL and both clubs, but only Flynn seems to be getting recognized for his efforts. Stafford threw for more yards yesterday than Flynn did, but the difference is that Flynn won and is a backup quarterback, where Stafford lost and is the starter. You know what? That's bulllshit! It doesn't matter if you're the starter or backup in the NFL, a killer game is a killer game, and should be recognized whether you win or lose. Once you factor in that the defending Superbowl champions' backup is as good as any starting quarterback in the league, then you have to drop the idea that their "backups" beat the Detroit starters.

The raggedy Detroit Lions nearly beat the superbowl champions. Period. No it doesn't really matter that it was a close game as far as the stat books are concerned; a loss is a loss, and a win is a win, but all the official sports news reporters really need to look at it for what it was: the Defending Superbowl Champion Green Bay Packers Nearly Lost to the Detroit Lions!

A Busy Summer

2011-09-01T23:56:00.000-04:00

This summer, I got a job for OU's radio station, WXOU, redesigned their website, participated in 6 films including one of my own, won a screenwriting competition, edited my film and submitted it to Sundance, and submitted my winning screenplay to a film production company. What have you done? :)

"Right and Wrong" Screenplay: Contest Winner!

2011-06-25T01:33:00.000-04:00

In April, Dr Kyle Edwards, director of the Cinema Studies program at Oakland University announced the 2010-2011 Writing Competition. The contest was divided into two categories, screenplays and essays. I entered the screenplay I wrote in my Screenwriting class during the Winter I had just finished.
Although I had moments of self-doubt, I had a feeling from the moment I submitted it that I'd win.

I found out on Friday, June 24th, that's exactly what happened: I won first place in the screenplay side of things! Interestingly enough, a friend of mine won second place in the essay portion! God I love writing!

For the interested, the short story version is available for about $1.00 on the Kindle and the Nook!

Untitled

2011-05-01T10:12:00.004-04:00

也许爱的希望破灭，
永远是真实的。
然而，无论是成本，
我是真的爱你。

A Thousand Steps A Day, A Thousand Days To You

2011-04-22T23:32:00.000-04:00

Some days are easier than others. Some days I only need to see your smile to feel fulfilled, sustained. Some days, I only need to know that you're out there, and that you might be thinking of me. I know we haven't yet discussed our future, but on these days I can feel that we have a future.
Then there are other days, those like today. While it's true that we've exchanged kind words this day, it has been fairly difficult for me to make it through this day. Today, this moment, I could use your company, but you're far, far away.
There are a thousand steps in each day. A thousand problems. A thousand difficulties. A thousand struggles. Each day, I make my way through these things, doing the best I can to solve them. Most of the time, the battles I fight are simple ones: solving problems, doing homework, getting to class on time. Then there are the big battles: the ones where I wonder about you, who you're seeing, what you're doing, and whether you care about me the way I care about you. I fight the battles of self-doubt daily, and I try to assure myself that if you didn't love me, you'd have told me to leave you alone. Sometimes I win those battles, sometimes I don't.
Either way, I endure those battles, those steps, one at a time, a thousand times a day.
Each day, I want to point you out, and make it clear to everyone that it's you I love. Each day is in itself a step towards the future, a step closer to the earliest day I can see you again.
Each day, each filled with a thousand steps, gets me closer to you. It's already been more than a thousand days since I last saw your smiling face in person, and it feels like it'll be a thousand days until I see it again. But I swear to you, that unless you don't wish to see me, that it will be less than 100 until that day arrives.
Each day is still a thousand steps. Each day is a thousand battles. I will endure them. I will fight the battles. I will win where I can, and I will suffer where I can't. But I will see you again, and we shall see what we shall see.

Going All In

2011-04-14T17:07:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I mentioned this before, here at least, but a short script I wrote for the OU Filmmaker's Guild was selected for production. Next week we'll be holding auditions, and shooting in the second half of May. I hold no illusions that this will make me rich — there's no money involved in this at all! — but it's a good start towards what I want to do professionally. I'll let you know more as it happens, but I've set up a blog specifically for my insights of the film making process at http://allin.anevilgeni.us.

Know Thy Heart

2011-04-03T23:41:00.001-04:00

"To thine own self be true" Polonius said to his son Laertes in Hamlet meaning that one should always be honest to him or her self. One can interpret that to mean to be true in your dealings with yourself as well as others, but I choose to simplest, and perhaps most honest, interpretation: to know and understand myself.

I long ago pledged to be the best me I could be. Many times I've chosen honesty over lies even when the outcome would not be favorable to myself. Many times I've stayed true to my word when I could have gotten away with breaking it. I would be a liar indeed if I swore that I've always done these things. But I have managed to maintain the scales in such a way that I have done more positive, more honest works in this world than I have done negative, and I will continue to do so.

I do it not because I desire to be better than anyone else. I'm not, and never shall be. I feel temptation and darkness just as everyone does. But I choose to try to do the right thing because it's right, and not for any reward. I choose to be a better me because it's what I want.

I know my heart, and I encourage you to know yours.

Hold Faith

2011-03-24T11:15:00.000-04:00

There's a lot going on the world right now. Wars, recovery from multiple earthquakes and tsunamis, "everyday" problems, and a lot of it seems bigger than life right now. There are positives and negatives at war in my own life, and in those of my closest family and friends. I can't solve everything, and often I feel like I can't even solve anything at all, but I'm holding faith that God will fix it all. God is almighty, God is all knowing, God is all merciful. Keep the faith, people! Keep the faith!

Right and Wrong

2011-03-14T11:27:00.000-04:00

My post at AnEvilGeni.us says it all!

8.9 Quake in Japan

2011-03-11T11:23:00.001-05:00

My thoughts and prayers go out to Japan in the wake of this massive earthquake and tsunami, and to all others affected and will be affected by the tsunami.

Good News for Me

2011-03-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

This is generally meaningless as it pertains to me, but it gives me hope about the career path I've decided to pursue. As you might have guessed from my previous post, I want to be a screenwriter. Well, my screenwriting teacher apparently just sold a script! The part that makes me a bit giddy is that she really likes my work...! So, get on with it! Throw me some freelance work!

Freelance Screenwriting

2011-03-09T22:25:00.002-05:00

Ok, since I have financial needs that aren't currently being met and I want and need experience, I'm making myself available as a freelance screenwriter. I'm not limiting myself to any particular genre, topic, or anything else and I'm willing to either do scripts solo or collaborate. If interested, please contact me via my An Evil Genius web site.

New Life

2011-03-06T10:09:00.000-05:00

When my marriage ended, I stopped believing that I could or would want to be in another relationship for the remainder of my life. A good part of me felt that because I gave it everything I had the first time around, that I couldn't find myself getting just as invested in another relationship. Or that I wouldn't want to. I more or less resigned myself to being alone, just as I had been before I met my ex.

While I've been surviving that way for the last few years, I can't honestly say I've been alive during that time. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect, and one of the areas in which I'm weak is actually building relationships of any kind with other people. I'm a paradox: I desire strong bonds with others yet I'm somewhat incapable of building those bonds except with a relatively small group of people. That's why my friends are the best friends anyone could ever want, but also why I have so few. It's not that I'm not an easy person to get along with; I have a lot of acquaintances and people that I'm on really good terms with, but there are few with whom I share that critical bond. Knowing that, how could I possibly find another woman with whom I could establish that and an even stronger bond?

There's also my anti-social tendencies. I can't go any further without mentioning them. It's very rare for me to be mean to anyone, or even to just show my anger or dislike, but often when I'm in public I'm fighting an urge to get away from everyone around me. There's a strange kind of pressure that I feel in public that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. This pressure seems to grow disproportionately to the size of the crowd; in a crowd of thousands, I can blend in, but in a group of a dozen or two, I feel like I stand out and that everyone is aware of me. And not in a good way. It makes me want to crawl into a shell and hide. So can you imagine how I feel one on one?

I said that to say this: if I feel like hiding in an average sized group, and I really, really feel uncomfortable in a one on one situation, how could I possibly find the strength and courage at my age to date again? To go out and find that special woman that I could spend the rest of my life with?

That's been the crux of my expectations that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I know these are some serious psychological issues, and I've been aware of them and working on them myself (by myself) for decades. As anyone can see by the fact that I have been married, I have lead a fairly good life in public, and that I am getting ready to head into my senior year of college (nearly 20 years late) that I am capable of overcoming my weaknesses and failings. Having the strength to do so is sometimes a challenge, but I do it regularly. So why did I doubt that I could do it again for something so important?

I was tired. I looked to the future and saw myself declining in every way imaginable, and I couldn't see myself getting strong enough to overcome my issues enough to find anyone else. That's not even counting how a potential mate might see me, so I was ready to give up on that part of my life. Now, in the interests of full disclosure, that doesn't mean I actually did give up: I joined a dating site or two, and I've made some good and important friends at Oakland University, but there wasn't and isn't a single woman among them that I thought I might have a future with. I could still be wrong, the future is ever shifting, but at least at the moment, it doesn't matter.

The reason it doesn't matter, is that God had other plans for me. Out of my past, a young woman that I had established a strong bond with, came rushing back into my life. It wasn't a conscious act on her part. Or mine really. I started dreaming about her regularly, and though we had already been friends on a social site or two for years, I found that I couldn't stop reading her posts.

This last week, things shifted between us, and I find that we are now walking together towards a future that could be very bright and what each of us has needed and wanted. We haven't formally declared our relationship yet, but it's abundantly clear to me that she cares just as deeply about me as I do about her. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I'm embracing this new life as full heartedly as I can. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't, but I'm taking it day by day with love in my heart.

Too Much Energy or My Pointless Rebellion

2011-02-27T14:34:00.000-05:00

Today I'm digging myself into a hole for no good reason. I should be studying for a midterm tomorrow, but I really don't feel like it. I could be critiquing stories for another class, but don't feel like doing that either. I could even just be working on a super short story for yet another class, but it keeps bringing me back to Ms. M., with whom I've been in touch over the last few days. In truth, I really feel like a stalker right now, and I'm not ashamed of it. :-)

I haven't been out of her life because she didn't want me in it, we were just not available to one another at the time. Now, though... Things have changed, and something keeps drawing me back to her. After my open letter last year, I had managed to get her off my mind, and I did manage to get over her at long last, but these last couple of weeks have put her back on my mind, and I can't help but think that God's hands are at work once again, and some of the things that M. said... Well, let's just say that I believe God is at work here. M., if you're reading this, I think you're my angel!

Today I find myself too easily distracted by the possibilities of doing something else, and I'm doing nothing but digging myself a hole with regards to school. Maybe it's because I think that no matter what I do today, I'll come out all right. Maybe it's that I think I'm in love, and have been further encouraged by a few simple words. Maybe I just have too damned much energy that I should go burn off at the gym... I don't know, but I know I should be more concerned about the immediate, the midterm I have tomorrow, than I am. But it's irrelevant.

P.S. Remind me of that when I'm repeating this course... ;-)

Missing Life

2011-02-23T16:56:00.001-05:00

Some might argue that I'm preparing for life by going back to school. Some would say that it's the right thing for me to be doing in this economy. Usually I'd be saying these things myself, because they're logical and carry wisdom. But today, I just can't stop thinking about the parts of life I'm missing, and wondering about paths not taken, and a woman I left unkissed.

KillZone 3

2011-02-04T02:11:00.001-05:00

In case I fail to make it clear elsewhere, the KillZone 3 beta is awesome! If you own a PS3 and you like first person shooters, grab the beta and check it out!

In all likelihood, I'll be posting a review at HTTP://anevilgeni.us before the weekend is out.

AnEvilGeni.us

2011-01-19T13:01:00.000-05:00

I've been quiet about this site until now because I had hoped that it would grow into its own without blatant plugs elsewhere, but that didn't happen. Now I'm taking the site in a different direction, and I'm being a lot more active with it, so I urge anyone that happens to visit my blog here, to checkout AnEvilGeni.us!

Densha Otoko

2010-12-22T16:30:00.000-05:00

I think it's fair to say that I'm a geek. I am and have been for a very long time. The fact that I'm somewhat sociable compared to a lot of other geeks is irrelevant. I am, and probably always will be a geek. As such, it was nothing less than a small miracle that I managed to be married for 8 years, and that I'm still on good terms with my ex. If nothing else, Lori, thank you for putting up with my ass... :-)

As I've mentioned before, I'm now a film student, so I can officially carry my audio-visual squad geek card with pride, and to make matters worse, I'm semi-obsessed with Japanese culture, perhaps the one place in a world where a geek can truly fit in. Having just [barely] passed my Japanese 214 class, I found out about a cute romantic comedy film this semester called "Densha Otoko" or "Train Man". The story is basically about a geek, with similar interests to my own, that saves a woman from a drunk guy on the train home one day, the relationship he builds with her, and the people supporting him and giving him the courage to come out of his shell. I won't say too much more about the movie other than I could completely sympathize with the film in every way possible, and I highly recommend it for anyone interested in Japanese culture. I got it through Netflix, but I think I'm now going to see about getting my very own copy...!

Go Vote on November 2nd

2010-10-31T12:25:00.000-04:00

It's funny and sad...

2010-10-10T18:53:00.001-04:00

I keep trying to leave someone alone and in peace, without even mentioning their name even on a weekly basis, but they keep trying to harass me and get under my skin. It's a shame really because I once wished the best of fortunes to this person. I recently came to understand they were moving on with their life and I was happy for them, but I just got yet another negative message from them. It's sad, really, that I'm not even the source of their anger but they won't let me live in the peace I've been giving them.

Nonetheless, I will forever pity them, and pray that they can let go of their anger. And I still wish the best for them.

"Six Feet Deep" or "How's School Coming Along?"

2010-10-06T22:53:00.000-04:00

I think I mentioned that this semester gave me a much heavier workload than the previous two semesters... If not, this should give you an idea of how bad it is:

This coming Friday I have a test in Japanese. I also have to do all remaining homework for this chapter in Japanese, which amounts to 3 workbook pages including some translating of audio clips.
Over the weekend I have to read an entire chapter on Islam and write a paper on it for Monday.
Also this weekend, I have to watch at least two Akira Kurosawa films, come up with a thesis for and write a 5 page paper for my film class for Tuesday.
Oh, and I also have to study at least the last two chapters from my Japanese book, probably more, for an oral interview I have on Wednesday.

Stressed? Me? Nah...

Just Another Day Near Chrysler's HQ

2010-09-22T16:52:00.001-04:00

On Monday afternoon, while driving home from Oakland University, I saw a SUV with New Jersey plates that had the absolute worst paint job I had ever seen. Now, considering I know of a Dodge Ram in southern Los Angeles county that's red with tacky flames painted over every square inch of it, chrome flames placed on the windows and tire flaps, this has to be pretty bad.Think zebra, but instead of stripes, it had lots of little swirling patterns all over the entire car. I didn't really think any thing of it except that the paint job hid the shape of the vehicle pretty well because you had an urge to look away at once. I just thought someone had pretty bad taste.

But today, I realized that it was something else. It really was done to make you look away. I came to this conclusion as I drove to school today, and found myself behind a sedan painted in an extremely similar passion that I correctly guessed was getting off I-75 at Chrysler's headquarters. This one had a Michigan manufacturer's plate, and I took a picture of it from behind. I was driving so I don't have any good pictures of this vehicle, and certainly none that show it from the side, but I can say that I didn't recognize the vehicle's design. (I'll post the picture after I edit the license plate numbers out to be on the safe side.) This car may have been made by another company, but I know for sure that it's not a Chrysler/Dodge model that I'm familiar with; and I consider myself a fan of Chrysler & Dodge vehicles. Now, what I think this vehicle may be is a prototype or concept car for possible future production. It's not uncommon for new models undergoing road tests to have unusual paint jobs making them as unidentifiable as possible, but I've never before seen one that actually made the car painful to look at.

Given the chances of running into a single car with that kind of paint job are pretty slim, I'd have to say there's something more significant than bad taste for seeing two cars in the same week in the same area. Now, it is entirely possible that both are owned by the same individual, but I think the more plausible explanation is that they're new vehicle models.

ugh

2010-09-09T23:18:00.001-04:00

To say the least, this semester is going to be a bitch. It looks like I have writing assignments due every week, and there doesn't appear to be much opportunity to catch up... I asked for this...

A Funny Moment Long Past...

2010-08-25T13:40:00.000-04:00

About 15 years ago, during the run up for the '96 Presidential elections, I was working at a little place called Scantron Quality Computers, a relatively recently purchased addition to the Scantron Corporation. Yes, THAT Scantron Corporation. My boss at the time had gotten to be a pretty good friend of mine, and we worked with an older lady that was a little eccentric to say the least. My boss was and is a Libertarian and a vehement Harry Browne supporter and had been giving information about him to our coworker's daughter for her homework.

Now, on the day of the incident, he and I had been talking about girls all day, which celebrity women we thought were attractive, and which of our co-workers as well. Our coworker had gone to lunch, leaving us to discuss more in detail what kind of girls we like.

While I don't know what our last words were, she reappeared, more or less talking to herself, the asked "Got any Harry Browne ones?"

Tech support calls weren't answered for about an hour afterward, and much of the company came to find out what we were laughing at.

Getting Psyched Up!

2010-08-10T23:49:00.002-04:00

It's hard for me to describe how excited and terrified I am to be going back to school in a couple of weeks. It will be the first time I've taken college classes for two consecutive school years since the mid 90s! And it will be the first time that I'll start the year with a lot of pressure riding my shoulders.

Last school year, I did well enough to make the Dean's List, as well as be invited to two separate honors societies. While no one is telling me that I have to repeat that level of performance, I'm holding myself to it because A) I'm not going to half-ass do anything, and B) I'm the one paying the bills on this college trip in the end. While Oakland University isn't the University of Michigan or Michigan State University, it sure as hell isn't cheap. (To all my California friends that complain about $26 per credit hour, lets just say I wish I had been paying that 15 years ago here in Michigan! )

I'm excited to go hang out with my school friends, learn more Japanese, and maybe to impress the Cinema Studies program director enough for him to refer me to some of the movie studios opening up here. But there's a ton of work to be done, and I'm more than ready to get started on it!