The Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3 Blog

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 00:53:07 +0000

Beat This Caption

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 02:03:51 +0000

No, I don’t think she sun shines out my ass, but you have to admit this is damn impressive

Monday Question

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 00:55:25 +0000

You know when you don’t sneeze, but blow snot all over your human?

Do you have a name for that?

Ruby answer: It’s a snozzle

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 04:14:45 +0000

A man comes home from working at a pickle factory and he seems troubled. His wife asks him what's wrong and the man says, "Oh, nothing. I just... well... recently I've had an uncontrollable urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer."

His wife nearly faints, then she blurts out: "Why? You need to go see someone. I'm going to make an appointment with a therapist or someone tomorrow."

The man protests, "No, no. It's fine. Really. I'm not going to do it."

Everything is fine for a few weeks, but then the man comes home early from work and he's pale as a ghost. His wife inquires, "What's the matter? You look terrible!"

The husband tells her, "Well, remember when I said I wanted to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"

The wife gasps, "You did? What happened?"

The man starts to cry. "I got fired!"

"I don't care about that! Are you okay? What happened with the pickle slicer?"

The man sobs, "She got fired, too."

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

"How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

"Two and a half carats."

Poetry Thursday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:53:07 +0000

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below. Please to Enjoy

Jack and jill

Went up a hill

For the thrill

Of living in a grist mill

Jill asked aloud what was grist

And he silenced her with a kiss

Saying he bought it for a tryst

In this he did persist

But he wanted to live on high

In a mill that touched the sky

Because he worked at the neighborhood fish fry

And his guilt would not allow him to witness another fish die

Jack and Jill lived on a hill for many a season

Coming down was nothing he would listen to reason

But the government began to commit climate treason

And it rained look when it was supposed to be freezing

The water began to rise

And Jack woke up Jill with his cries

That the fish would be the reason he dies

Overcome with carp and baked into a fish pie

Jill thought jack was just a fright

It was too late when she worried he was right

And that night

The fish destroyed b mill using all their might

Scientists are warning the oceans are rising

But it is the fish doing the conspiraing

To get revenge on man by galvanizing

And letting men be the one who look appetizin

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Thu, 04 Jun 2026 05:33:27 +0000

Beat This Caption

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Wed, 03 Jun 2026 04:25:26 +0000

The one where Monica loses a contest because she doesn't know what Chandler does for a living and they switch apartments

Monday Question

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 01:23:32 +0000

If you turned into a human what would you miss the most about being an animal, and like the most about being a human

Ruby’s answer: If I were human I would enjoy controlling the food, but if I were no longer a pet I would miss being adored.

Ruby's Sunday Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 03:28:31 +0000

An Irish Catholic daughter runs away from her Dublin home at 18. Five years later she returns home and knocks on her father's door. He answered and before he let her in he asked her what she had done the last five years. She said she was ashamed to say it, but she had supported herself by being a prostitute. Her father told her she was not allowed in the home. She had been raised a good Catholic girl and turned to filth, shaming her family for generations. Crying she said she understood, but she wanted to leave him a car given to her by a husband whose marriage she had ruined, a check for $10,000 from hush money paid by a married businessman, and another for $20,000 left over money she was given to get an abortion. Confused her father asked how she got all that money simply by converting. She told him he misunderstood, she was a prostitute, a shameful whore and her father said: “A prostitute? I thought you said a Protestant. Thank God! I thought you had shamed us but you are only a hooker. Come inside and kiss your mother with your whorevmouth. A prostitute, what a relief,”

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”
The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”

With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?”

The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don't you learn to look up numbers before you dial”.

“See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch….”

The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.

“Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You've got lot of guts calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I'll show you what exasperation means.”

He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, “Hello!”

The father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”

A Ruby Saturday Double Feature poetry Thursday and fill in friday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Sat, 30 May 2026 05:02:58 +0000

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below. Please to Enjoy

The great pirate Donald ruled the seven seas

And no one could pass through without paying a fee

If they tried they would get hung from a palm tree

Which is why so many sailors bent the knee

Donald’s men captured great treasure at his request

And he made them all give him the booty as a test

Then he would hunt with his next prey from the crows nest

His spoils locked away in his seamen’s chest

Monthly Pirate Donald would convene his staff

To praise him and the mastery of his craft

Those that refused would be set adrift in a raft

While Pirate Donald continued filling his chest with graft

Donald was asked what was in his chest and he said the best clothes

There were wings of crows and remnants of ice floes, the weapons of foes, seeds that will do nothing but grow

For the ladies there were fine panty hose, and IOUs from those who owe, writings of the finest prose, and an Emmy from the Pirate Apprentice show

But when asked what he had from child enslaver Epstein he said of he did not know

One day Pirate Donald sailed into the setting sun

After announcing himself doing the greatest pirating ever done

He moved away slowly now weighing a half a ton

Proud that he had stolen from everyone.

Years after a treasure hunter found Pirate Donald’s booty

In a Miami bungalow only available to the snooty

And the treasure hunter said he would reveal what was inside out of a sense of duty

But first the chest needed to be sprayed for pirate cootie.

They hoped Pirate Donald’s chest would be filled with gold

Instead they found a pile of mold

But to the Pirate Donald believers they still subscribe to the myth that they had been soldiers

But to the rest the legend of Pirate Donald was getting old

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in capitals

COMING TO LIVE WITH MY PARENTS is the luckiest thing that ever happened to me BUT FINDING A KIBBLE WHEN THE COUCH WAS MOVED IS A CLOSE SECOND.

MAYONNAISE is the most unusual thing in my refrigerator. WHAT IS THAT CRAP FOR? YOU THINK WE EAT WEIRD THINGS? IT IS GROSS AND CAN KILL YOU IF THERE POWER FAILS ON A WARM DAY. YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ABOUT A PUDDLE OF jUNKNOWN ORIGIN WE EAT ON THE STREET.

My ABILITY TO PRETEND I CARE WHAT PARENTS ARE SAYING Is lacking,

I have enough ATTITUDE TO MATCH A 250th AMERICA'S BIRTHDAY UFC FIGHT ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN,

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Thu, 28 May 2026 00:57:45 +0000

Beat This Caption

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Wed, 27 May 2026 05:56:38 +0000

Hey Lenny can you check to see if we have a bag of Purina Chicken Florentine and Shrimp in the back, some lady wants it for her damn bougie cat

Monday Question and Memorial Day Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Tue, 26 May 2026 01:25:59 +0000

What is your go to look to make your parents feel guilty?

Ruby's answer. Lie on the floor, put head between paws, frown and sadly look up.

A third grade teacher asked her students to, one by one, stand in front of the class and tell what their Daddy's do.

Little Mary went first,

“My daddy is a doctor and he saves people's lives”

“That's wonderful Mary. Now how about you Jane, what does your daddy do?”

“My daddy is a lawyer and he puts bad people in jail,” says Jane

“Very good Jane. Ok Johnny, what does your daddy do?”

“My daddy is dead” says Johnny

“Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that Johnny,” said the teacher, “what did he do before he died?”

“He turned blue and shit on the carpet?”

I’m in a hospital ward behind some closed curtains, waiting to be discharged. I overhear a doctor talking to another patient a few beds down:

Doctor: “So what did we learn this weekend?”

Patient: “Don’t put anything up there when I’m drunk.”

Doctor: “Close, don’t put anything up there at all, even when you’re sober.”

Patient: “Don’t be stupid, doctor, why would I shove anything up there while I’m sober?”

Friday Fill In

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Sat, 23 May 2026 01:36:33 +0000

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in capitals

I would be willing to pay more for A KITTY TO JUMP NAKED OUT OF MY BIRTHDAY CAKE BUT I CAN’T GET ONE TO AGREE TO DO IT FOR MONTH OLD CAT NIP AND HALF A BAG OF TEMPTATIONS.

I refuse to spend money on BOTTLED WATER, GOD CREATED WATER AND PUT IT EVERYWHERE FOR PEOPLE TO DRINK, BUYING IT IS JUST LAZY.

MY GROOMING is chaotic. I HAVE A SMALL TONGUE AND HAVE TO BEND MYSELF INTO A PRETZEL TO LICK MY OWN ASS (BUT WHEN YOU MASTER LICKING YOUR OWN ASS YOU WILL HAVE NO REASON TO EVER LEAVE THE HOUSE).

A fun fact about me is I CAN LICK MY OWN ASS. (DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE NOT IMPRESSED.”

Poetry Thursday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Fri, 22 May 2026 01:37:41 +0000

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below. Please to Enjoy

Terry liked to read, that wasn’t any flex

He liked wizards the kind who could produce a hex

Tonight Terry was going to read something that challenged his friends’ intellects

It was a book from the high school library all about sex

Terry knew he had to read the book on the down low

Sex books were something about which moms always say no

But there were things in the book he had to know

And decided to read it using a flashlight’s glow

Anxious to read Terry said early good nights

Then reached under the covers for his flashlight

Eager to read some unknown delights

That would soon be in plain sight

But, what he read made his numb

He wished he hadn’t asked where babies come from

He would have to question his time dad asked if she were going to come

And he would have to kill his dad if he really did that to his mom

Terry’s stomach began to churn

This book was meant to burn

Why did he have a quest to learn?

If there was something strange about him was his concern

Until he could burn it Terry kept it under his bed

That morning his mom noticed Terry was acting out of his head

After he left his mother went upstairs knowing and said

what caused his behavior were questions about how he was bred

When she found the book she was not mad

Although his getting older did make her sad

He was once a sweet lad

She took the book, wrote on it “you could learn a lot from this” and gave it to Terry’s dad

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Thu, 21 May 2026 00:29:46 +0000

Beat This Caption

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Wed, 20 May 2026 00:51:53 +0000

Despite an all star cast and crackling script Good Will Duckling was a box office flop

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Mon, 18 May 2026 06:52:54 +0000

A guy from the city decides he wants to go duck hunting. He’s out for a several days before he even catches sight of a duck. Finally, he sees the perfect duck, takes aim, and fires. The duck falls, hits a barn, and goes into a farmer’s yard. The hunter climbs over the fence and goes into the farmer’s yard to get the duck. As soon as the hunter bends over to pick up the duck, this huge farmer comes out of the house. He takes one look at the hunter and and says, “What are you doing in my yard?” The hunter points at the duck and says, “I’ve come to get the duck. It’s my duck.” The farmer says, “That’s not your duck. This is my yard. That duck fell and hit my barn.” The hunter is not about to give up the duck. He says, “That’s not your duck. I shot the duck. I've been out hunting for a couple of days. Give me a break. You know, I’m from the city.” The farmer says, “You’re from the city? Well, you don’t understand about how property works in the country, do you? This is my property. It’s my duck. But, I’m a fair guy, so I’ll give you a chance to get the duck by settling our disagreement country style.” The hunter says, “Country style?” The farmer nods, a great big smile on his face, and says, “Yeah. Country style.” The hunter frowns and asks, “How do you settle it country style?” The farmer’s smile gets even wider, and he says, “I kick you in the groin. And then you kick me in the groin. And we take turns kicking each other in the groin. Whoever’s left standing keeps the duck.” The hunter does not like the sound of that, but he wants the duck. So he says, “Well, if that’s what I have to do.” The farmer nods and says, “I go first.” He hauls off and…WHACK. He kicks the hunter square in the groin. The hunter falls to the ground, clutching his groin and moaning in pain. After several minutes of rolling around in the dirt, the hunter manages to climb back up to his feet. He takes a deep breath and says, “Okay. I guess it’s my turn.” The farmer shrugs and says, “You can have the duck

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

"Why is my sister named "Cornflower"?

"Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

Poetry Thursday on Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Mon, 18 May 2026 06:42:47 +0000

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below. Real life made us not be able to finish our poem until today. Please to Enjoy.

Bob took Evelyn for his wife

And they shared a life.

Through good times, happy days, trouble and strife

They reminded people of Thelma Lou and Barney Fife

Every year they talked about going on an adventure

If at the school where he worked Bob could get tenure

But he invested in some unworthy ventures

And promised his mom we would pay for her dentures

Then the kids were born

And to the babies’ lives devotion was sworn

Adventures with kids were not the norm

And every dollar they made were earmarked for the fawns

Then it was time to pay for college

To further their childrens’ knowledge

And the only adventure was dropping the kids off up north and enjoying the foliage.

They had put adventures on hold when they hit 60 they closed that page

For their 50th anniversary their kids decided to fulfill their parents dreams

When the elderly couple learned they were going to Wally World their face did beam

When they went to the airport the family gathered at the airport, what a scene

And the parents left promising to report about everything they had seen

They went to Wally World with Mom in her bonnet

And they got in line for the drop comet

But on the way up there was a break in the grommet

And the swaying car caused them to cover one another in vomit

They kissed the pavement when they reached the ground

And neither wanted to stick around

They headed home where they were safe and sound

On their trip the desire to never leave the house is what they found

Beat This Caption

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Wed, 13 May 2026 08:43:43 +0000

With inflation rising and gas prices soaring Larry was finding it harder to cover his nut

Monday Question

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Tue, 12 May 2026 04:49:11 +0000

What do people ask your parents after seeing you for the first time?

Ruby's Answer - thay ask what breed I am since there are not many of us around.

Ruby's Sunday Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Mon, 11 May 2026 04:06:00 +0000

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

IHe says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you're doing?"

She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass?"

"Your name never came up, " she replied

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.

He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.

So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, " What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know,"says the guy.

"How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde.

"That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass.

Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit

Friday Fill in

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Sat, 09 May 2026 04:34:00 +0000

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in capitals.

I know I am having a good day when MOMMY’S BACK, KNEE , FOOT, AND ANKLE HURT SO MUCH SHE TAKES ASPRIN, AND A PRESCRIPTION MUSCLE RELAXANT, THEN PASSES OUT WITH ME ON HER LAP WHERE I CAN GROOM MYSELF SO MUCH THAT WHEN MOMMY FINALLY WAKES UP HER LAP IS SO WET SHE THINKS SHE PEED HERSELF.

I have been told I SNORE when I am asleep. THIS INTELLIGENCE CAME FROM THE MASSACHUSETTS BIGFOOT HUNTERS ASSOCIATION WHO FOR MONTHS HEARD MY BUILDING SHAKING NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS AND THOUGHT THE WOUNDED SASQUATCH WAS CAUGHT IN A TRAP AND WAS BELLOWING IN PAIN.

A UNOPENED CAN OF DOG FOOD AND A PET UNFRIENDLY CAN OPENER makes me feel helpless.

I have a lot of confidence in my ability TO OPEN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ IF I CHOOSED TO DO SO BY STARING INTO THE EYES OF THOSE WHO CLOSED IT UNTIL THEY BROKE AND OPENED IT. WHAT WORKS FOR A TREAT SHALL WORK FOR A STRAIT.

Poetry Thursday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Fri, 08 May 2026 03:08:00 +0000

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below

Since birth everyone considered simple Bob a twit

He did not know how things worked not even a bit

He was born without sense or and ounce of wit

Bob was a man who didn’t know shit

Bob’s father was sick of his son being out of the loop

Even the dumbest person could make Bob a dupe

He was always the least intelligent in his group

So his dad sent Bob to the school of poop

They said they could teach him the difference between Pepsi and Coca-Cola

Between a log and a gondola

Between the President and the Ayatollah

And most importantly between shit and shinola.

The teachers realized Bob had to learn a lot

How to pay for things he just bought

And they tried to teach him the most important lesson to be taught

When to shit and when to get off the pot

Bob flunked when to come out of the rain

He flunked when to take his hand off the stove when he felt pain

He flunked not to stand in front of a moving train

In short Bob had shit for brains

Bob’s dad thought there was nothing to be done

With his slacker son

Unlike Forrest he couldn’t even run

Bob would be his dad's burden until the day darkness consumed the son

One happy day Bob’s dad realized Bob’s fate

There was only one job where Bob could pull his weight

The only job Bob would not desecrate

Was being President of the United States

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3) — Thu, 07 May 2026 03:01:00 +0000