♥

2011-12-15T00:30:00.001-08:00

Eriko Nakao

2011-12-11T13:31:00.001-08:00

In love. So inspired.

(click to view bigger)

Which dress should I buy for christmas or new years?

2011-11-30T15:50:00.001-08:00

http://ivalfre.com

2011-11-25T18:22:00.001-08:00

I'm literally in love.

Hot cocoa by the fire

2011-11-23T20:53:00.001-08:00

Hot cocoa by the fire by hiolivejuicee featuring a knit sweater

3 1 Phillip Lim knit sweater
$385 - net-a-porter.com

High waisted pants
$62 - warehouse.co.uk

Minnetonka suede boots
$51 - piperlime.gap.com

I have a window shopping problem

2011-11-23T19:44:00.001-08:00

Or if it's online is it call screen shopping? Whatever. Fact of the matter is, I need to find a way to afford anything my little heart desires... WHICH IS A LOT haha.

Tea and books

2011-11-23T19:32:00.001-08:00

Tea and books by hiolivejuicee featuring long sleeve tops

3 1 Phillip Lim long sleeve top
$475 - lagarconne.com

Alexander Wang scoop neck sweater
$435 - net-a-porter.com

True Religion slim fit jeans
$270 - stylebop.com

Steve madden heels
$99 - lordandtaylor.com

Fossil bag
$248 - nordstrom.com

House of Harlow 1960 yellow gold earrings
$75 - shopthetrendboutique.com

Brim hat
$50 - topshop.com

2011-11-21T00:11:00.001-08:00

You know..

2011-11-20T22:10:00.001-08:00

I do wish my life was blog worthy. I wish I had some grand stories to share and some pictures that have been edited really cool to make it seem like I actually know what I'm doing with a camera. I wish I was traveling the world. I wish I was performing or at least making music to share with you guys. I wish I ate at all the really nice restaurants and ate fancy meals. I wish I could show you all the hauls of stuff I bought and how I would wear it. I'd love to be someone interesting that actually has something worth reading or hearing about. I wish I lived in a big city with all the things I dream about. The loft apartment that is open bright and white with bricks. I wish I had good friends and I could tell you all the adventures we went on and all the memories we made. I wish I had some cute long term boyfriend and we were in love and we could be that perfect couple. The one who has no limits, the one who is unbreakable, the through thick and thin, soulmates. I wish I could tell you about the dates I went on. I wish I could tell you about the meals I cooked for him. I wish I could tell you about the amazing holidays spent with friends and family with lots of food and grand dinners and beautiful outfits. I wish I was someone to look up to or at least be interested in. I wish I could make you feel close to me through my blog, through the things I write or do or say. I wish I could reach out to more people. But, I'm not any of those things. I'm just a confused girl in a small town with big dreams and an even bigger heart. I stay at home and keep to myself. Anyone I've ever gotten close to has left me and I'm always left alone. So that's what I do now. I spend a lot of time alone. I don't really have anybody. That's partially my fault. But I can't control that I can't get close to anyone anymore. I can't help I can't get feel for anyone. Pain changes a person. There's also a gaping hole in the middle of my chest that makes it hard to breathe. Some days it's better than others. But others, it's just unbearable. I've lost the one person that I can still feel anything for. Losing him was losing everything. I may have crawled my way out and when I stand on my own two feet I might still be a little fragile and unstable, but I'm trying. It's gotten easier but I still feel it. I still long. I still crave. I still ache. I'm still not okay. I really try to be, almost to the point where I think I am, but when the crash comes it's brutal. Through the roof highs and deathly lows. It's that feeling where you're just connected to someone. No matter how long it's been since you've seen them, or spoken to them and no matter how far away they are.. undeniable, unbreakable pull on your heart whenever you're with them or think about them. It's getting butterflies when you think of them. It's bending over backwards. It's a million chances. It's putting in all the effort. It's begging. It's crying. It's breaking. It's picking yourself back up. Falling back down. Two step forward, ten steps back. Fall down seven times, get up eight. It's memory after memory. It's history. It's creating a life with someone. It's becoming one. It's when you'd rather be with them against all odds, no matter how hard, or crazy, or close it gets. It's knowing all their flaws but loving them enough to stick around. It's about loving something, someONE more than you'll ever love anything. It's about being ripped apart from something you've become attached to.. a part of. How can we go to living to separate lives when we are SO clearly meant to be in the same one... together. There's not one single day I can get through without feeling that burning pain in my heart as you cross my mind. It's missing something that you're not even sure exists anymore. It's going a bit crazy. It's long endless days and long sleepless nights. It's the never answered what-if's. It's the late night phone calls, overnight sleepovers, trust building, back in forth, roller coaster, on again off again, let's try this again, this isn't going to work, okay I really can't be with out you, let's give it ONE last shot, this won't work, why won't this work, we tried so hard, when will this end, please just love me, i'm done, when will this end, not talk for a month, repeat, broken record, never ending, broken love cycle. I've fought my wars, I'm staying up late with my demons, I've earned my scars. I'm trying to go after these dreams of mine that I want so badly. Where's my motivation? Where's my head? Where's my heart? A beautiful woman once said "How you gon win when you ain't right within?" (If you know who that is, I love you) and that's exactly what I've been trying to figure out and truth is, you can't win, if you ain't right within. I'm just a girl dragging her feet through life just trying to be okay and doing the best she can. I'm strong, but under all this is a vulnerable person. She's there. Although some feeling nerves have been damaged (hopefully it's only temporary), I'm still human. I've got a big heart, I'm loyal and the people I love are everything to me. I can be good to you, if you're good to me. If you stick around long enough to get through the thick skin, I think you'd really like me. It just turns out people aren't very concerned in getting know people or getting deeper into a person's mind. I guess I'm different because I'm not a surface skimmer and I like to dapple in the deeper ends and peel through a persons layers. Meaningfulness is everything. I do what I can, but I'm a big dreamer, I wish I could be all those things, but I may never be. I'm okay with that. And I'm so grateful for those of who are too. Thank you for accepting me, and appreciating me and loving me. If there's one thing someone can't get enough of it's love. So thank you. Thank you to all of you who believe in me, even when I don't. Thank you for making it a little bit easier. Thank you for letting me be honest and opening up. I obviously have a hard time talking to anyone.. If I do know I trust you and I don't trust easily. Talking to you about my feelings is me saying a trust you and you are important to me. And thank you for respecting the two most important things: My mind and heart.

Chief

2011-11-20T21:34:00.001-08:00

Chief by hiolivejuicee featuring fitted jeans

Under Ligne crop tank
£83 - oxygenboutique.com

Women's Camo Field Jacket (Clothing / Women's Clothing / Women's...
$49 - vtarmynavy.com

Scotch & Soda fitted jeans
€160 - scotch-soda.com

Amulette Enchante bralette
$88 - journelle.com

Supra black shoes
$100 - karmaloop.com

Yellow gold earrings
$40 - jcpenney.com

Vans cap hat
£28 - urbanexcess.com

Wish list part 1

2011-11-16T09:47:00.001-08:00

Buy

Buy

Buy

Buy

Buy

Buy

Day dreaming

2011-11-15T21:09:00.001-08:00

Visiting Paris is definitely on my bucket list. Where would you like to visit or what would you love to do before you die?

2011-11-15T14:08:00.001-08:00

Please love me for all the things I am, instead of hating me for all the things I am not.

By Pat Ramos

2011-11-14T14:55:00.000-08:00

By Radilina Troeva

2011-11-14T14:52:00.001-08:00

Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau

2011-11-12T13:27:00.001-08:00

Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau is a ten year old french model. I think she is beautiful and I love the pictures. Many are saying she's too young. What do you think?

Shoe Lust

2011-11-11T14:15:00.001-08:00

In love

2011-08-28T20:29:00.001-07:00

I am literally dying right now.
We all know I'm in love with biebz but this just takes it to a whole new level.

Wish List

2011-08-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

Wishlist1 by hiolivejuicee featuring supra shoes

wishlist2 by hiolivejuicee featuring vintage oversized sunglasses

Apartment Therapy

2011-08-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been fixated on the idea of moving out of this shitty little town.
This is my home, this is all I've really ever known, but I feel like there's so much more out there. A bigger city full of possibilities and opportunity. It's very easy to feel stuck in a rut in a small city with not much happening. I feel like everyone here is stuck in this high school mentality and I've been over that since sophomore year. I also feel so dependent on my parents, I'm just so weary of moving away from them because they are all I've ever had. The only two people I've been close to, my best friends. But I'm still very much a child and moving out would help me because the woman I need to be.
I have a lot of saving to do and between my frequent shopping sprees and my coffee addiction, I haven't been putting away as many pennies as I'd like.
I still need to get my teeth implants and now I want to also save to move out.
I feel like San Francisco is where my heart really wants to be and I will eventually be moving there.
I've still got a long way to go, but I've been looking up apartment inspiration
and although most of them are unrealistic due to my expensive tastes it is helping me get motivated to keep pushing towards someday getting what I want <3 Push forward.

2011-08-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

One of the things I always find myself doing is looking up recipes and filling up a whole bookmark folder full of them so I can eventually try them. But I rarely find myself making ANY of them. One of the things I thought was really cute that my dad does is not only does he checkout cook books, he actually MAKES the recipes in them. Haha I know it seems like a silly thing to admire but I find that people, particularly me, take the first steps but never follow through with them. I will check out books, but never read them. I will look up and save recipes but never make them. So I want to start putting action behind them and actually start reading the books I check out, and actually start making the recipes I find. My dad said "Just make one a week, it's simple." That's my goal.
To try and make at least one recipe a week! Hopefully I can stick to it and find some good recipes along the way.

If you know me, or follow me anywhere online, you are probably aware how much I love food :P
So this is a win win situation, don't ya think?

These are some recipes I want to try!

Pizza Rolls

Cream cheese filled Snickerdoodles

Coconut crepes

There's just a few of the many recipes I hope to make.
(Click the picture to go to the recipe)

Let's see how this goes :)

It's been awhile...

2011-08-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

No matter how much time passes I always find myself coming back to this blog.
I love documenting my life, I like reaching out to people with similar interests and opening up to people who enjoy what I like and have to say.

I want to start filling this blog with my daily adventures and my pictures and basically a smorgish board of all the things that make up my life.
Hopefully I can get more people to read this and who are interested.
If you have any ideas for posts please let me know :)

I'm finally taking hold of my life and making it what I want and deserve.
No more sitting around hoping and wishing it'd change.
Nothing will change if you don't put the effort behind it.

To new beginnings, It's never too late <3

2010-12-21T11:18:00.000-08:00

A lot has been going on these past couple weeks. It's had it's ups and downs, A LOT of downs.

Depression had it's grip on me, but I'm doing a bit better now.
I've found someone who loves me for who I am and really cares about me, it's such a nice thing to find after such a tragic breakup. Of course I am not completely over my ex, nor do I know if I ever will be.
But hey, I'm doing my best and that's all you really can do right?
Moving on feels good, but of course it's nerve racking and scary at the same time.
He's a really great guy though.

So, in the midst of it all, I have found someone new, had a breakdown at BOTH jobs, put my two weeks notice in at one, wrote some songs, and got a new wave of motivation.

I have a feeling this year will be a good one, and I know everyone always says that about every new year, but not I... I always just kinda go with the flow and not think of what might happen, but this feeling just kinda came to me.

Hopefully it goes well.

Are you guys excited for the new year? Do you think it'll be a good one?

70s glamazon

2010-11-22T12:06:00.000-08:00

In love with this!

Goodbye LA, Hello again reality

2010-11-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm hooooome!
After a long, 10 day trip to Los Angeles, CA, I am back home in this boring Garlic town.
My departure was bittersweet, I didn't want to leave but I wanted to be home with my family and Olibear! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed tonight!

Los Angeles is definitely somewhere I can see myself living though! So much to do, so many amazing people.
Going away for a little, being in somewhere new, especially Los Angeles, opened my eyes
and gave me a new motivation to go after those things I want.

Let's hope I actually do something with it this time :b

Here are some pictures from my trip!