Simplicity

The Afterthought

2011-10-16T23:27:00.003+08:00

I have not been updating this blog for some time.Namely,the crazy second semester this year and the amount of work that needs to be done as well.Anyway,here's something that I would like to share.I chance upon an opportunity just 2 weeks ago to attend a brilliant health oration by Prof. Dr. Timothy Evans.It was entitled: "Harnessing knowledge to secure a universal and equitable entitlement to health".I was rather inspired by the insights he provided,some which I've never thought about before.Anyway,here are my thoughts on it.Here's the afterthought.

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Health as everyone knows is a commodity and is a universal right.It's almost of rule that everyone,regardless who they are,where they are, have the right to access some sort of health services.However, this right to access, though universal, is a challenge.

I was privileged to attend a global health oration by Prof. Dr. Timothy Evans entitled harnessing knowledge to secure a universal and equitable entitlement to health courtesy of the Jeffrey Cheah Foundation and Monash University Pharmacy Society. In summary, he defines what universal and equitable health coverage is all about and later focuses on the challenges and change necessary to allow for the proper implementation this universal and equitable health coverage.Finally, he ends his oration with the necessity to harness knowledge and technology to achieve this goal.

The afterthought.

In this insightful oration,many issues pertaining to universal health coverage was brought up.One of importance in my opinion, is the need to combine the clinical sciences and public health.Health professionals tend to indulge more on the sciences,working or researching on preventions,treatments,guidelines and many more while not much thought is given on public health issues such as how to increase access to health information,how to improve primary care or how to increase health care penetration in low income areas.Basically,thought is only given on how to treat the disease not on how to actually help the patient to get affordable treatment for the disease!!

Furthermore,public health itself alone is a challenge due to 3 reasons brilliantly stated as the 3I’s by Dr. Evans: Individual,Institution and Infrastructure.

Individual:There’s lack of people taking up or working on public health issues.It’s easier to do research in something clinical rather than public health because its more prestigious and people tend to care about how to cure a disease rather than how to increase access to the cure of a disease.

Institution:The lack in public health schools.And it’s not helping as this fuels the lack of individuals taking up or studying public health.Hence,the lack of expertise.Also,as publich health is not viewed as something as illustrious as medicine or pharmacy (despite its importance!!).Thus ,it is not profitable for a school or university to start such courses.

Infrastructure:The lack of support and financial backing in the public health.To achieve anything in public health,support is necessary for the implementation of its policies and financial investment is necessary as well to implement those policies.

For example,let’s take the access to drug substitution therapy for all drug users.There is a need for support from the public,patients,NGOs,government and health care professionals to implement this therapy.Besides,it’s necessary to put aside some funds to kickstart this therapy.Now here lies the problem.Although healthcare professionals may see drug addiction as an important medical issue rather than a social disorder issue,the public may see this policy implementation as a fueling a social disorder.To put in blunty,the public would argue that money should not be wasted to give drug addicts free drugs.They are drug addicts,let them get high and die!! Then again,this is an important issue because we want a universal health coverage but we condemn drug addicts of their therapy because they are drug addicts. So if this is done, how do we define universal? How do we define “public” health? Where do we draw the line?

The Pharmacist:Step Up.

With all this talk of universal health coverage,where do we as pharmacist come in to secure a universal and equitable entitlement to health? This is a tough question because even in the health oration,there’s no mention of pharmacist (if you don’t count healthcare professionals ;] ) and most policy makers tend to be physicians as they are “deemed” to know more on how healthcare actually works. To my surprise, Dr. Evans mentioned something really interesting when a question on doctors as policy makers cropped up. Thailand is considered a leader in public health because when they sit and discuss public health policies,everyone:healthcare professionals of all kinds,politicians,the public,NGOs,you name it,all come to debate on the various policies to be implemented.This,he states,is great because we can come to consensus on what needs to be done and define the various opposition or conflicts that crop out during the debate to see what needs to be done in order to address those oppositions and turn them into solutions.With that,various policies can be thought of and implemented as it is agreed by everyone and there’s the necessary support.

So again,where do pharmacists come in?

As a primary care provider to patients,we know our patients probably more than any of our other collegues.Our ability to engage them and provide health services is invaluable in universal and equitable entitlement to health.Now,before I move on let’s reflect on universal health coverage as a topic.How do we define universal health coverage? In 2005,the member states of WHO adopted a resolution encouraging countries to develop health financing systems aimed at providing universal coverage.Then,WHO defines universal health coverage as securing access for all to appropriate health services at an affordable cost.

Wait what?? Appropriate health services at an affordable cost? Pharmacists give counselling for free in Malaysia regardless if anything is purchased!! That’s + 1 for us in securing universal and equitable entitlement to health!! Our ability to know our patients and their medicines allow us to be a part of this.We who they are,their diseases and their medications.So using our clinical knowledge and knowing our patients financial background,we can advise them on what medications they really need and dispense them the cheaper but as effective generic drugs.Furthermore,they can engage us anything if they need any information because pharmacies are easily accessible and nearly everywhere compared to a clinic or hospital.On a public health scale,we can engage in policies pertaining to quality use of medicines and actively engage in ways to promote health penetration because we are primary care providers,we know what’s going on out there,we know what drugs is in demand from sales data and this allows us to shape drug registries and save huge costs in healthcare financing especially in funding for medication.And as we move away from dispensing as technology advances,with medicines ready packed for sale and dispensed is done automatically or through aid of robotics and computer system,we can move out of the counter and actively engage people through counselling and health education.As a result,we reduce unsafe care and increase the public’s access to healthcare information.This is important as Dr. Evans mentioned nations with the lowest access to healthcare information have the highest death rates.So step up pharmacists.Step up.

In conclusion, this is such an insightful health oration by Dr. Evans.I totally regret not asking him about how the global economic meltdown will affect the harnessing of knowledge to secure a universal and equitable entitlement to health and universal health coverage as a whole.I can go on and on to write this topic but that’s all I have to say for now.If anyone wants to discuss this with me,feel free to discuss though preferably over a cup of coffee or tea during the holidays.

Now where did I place my cup of green tea?

The Flipside of Life

2011-07-23T15:43:00.003+08:00

This happens to everyone.Regardless who they are.It's because we're in fact human beings with different wants and needs.

There will always be a point in life where we will meet someone and they would say they wish they had as much time as you had.Or it may be the job we have.Or even the experience we have.It will never end.There will always be something in someone that we always want and something in us that the someone wants.Unfortunately,life is such.We can swap lives.Neither can we swap experiences,time,jobs and the list goes on.The grass always seem greener on the other side somehow.Urging ourselves to move over to the sunny side.

Why is it always so? Why is life such? When we ask other people whether they're contented with what they have,do they always seem so? Or are they just admitting the way things are by just wearing and living behind a mask? Life and living life itself is indeed a great mystery for all.Rather a journey of self discovery.

This is the flipside of life.We always yearn for what others have and want what they have.Be it life,experiences,jobs or even love.We just always feel victimized or hand down the "life-is-unfair" judgement when it boils down to this.Other people feel the same too.To me,I feel the same.I always wonder why sometimes people who don't deserve things in life get more in fact what I could have made use of far better.It's always this way for me.

But I have concluded.

Whatever we have cannot be measured with what others have.We may lack some things but other things we have may make up for it.I see this as our privilege.My privilege.My privilege to my life.My experiences.My work.People may not acknowledge me.But I acknowledge myself.And others as well.That is the most important thing to me.

We may not be able to choose what we want in life but if we work hard enough with passion and with the given conditions and opportunities,we will achieve it somehow.

Finally,when we make it,we become legend.

The Venture

2011-07-01T21:45:00.004+08:00

It's been a rather great holiday so far since the exams were over.One month of not posting anything has made me rather rusty in blogging.Well,as usual I will try to update and post as much as possible.

I have been meeting up with various old acquaintances and had some late night drink sessions with them as well.Catching up on the various things in their life and what they have been up to lately just inspires me and makes me want to reinvent my life.

Just a week back,I was meeting up some old buddies for late night supper at a restaurant near my place.We were having some games of Monopoly Deal while drinking,eating and chatting.I was amazed to know that a friend is currently ready to set up a company with some partners who happen to be my his uni mates.I was really impressed about their venture because I really wanted to start out some sort of side business ever since graduating from high school.With that said,from high school to college and now uni,I have not started anything.Even if I did started out,it all ended up in failure having my partners opting out of my plans.

What was more impressive,they are working on some tech project.Something I've always wanna work on.Developing applications and stuff while getting paid.It's things like this that give Facebook and Tumblr a headstart to become a global phenomena.Sadly,I believe I come short of any talent to do so.Starting a company while in college or university is really something amazing.Being able to study as well as pay for your studies is great.The extra cash could also be used to spend on ourselves as well as used to reduce the burden of our families.

I really felt that I'm not trying hard enough to achieve something like this despite having many ideas in the past.So with this inspiration at hand and some ideas in my mind,here's to hoping that I can kick start some things in time to come!!

The Night Air

2011-05-25T18:36:00.005+08:00

Broken silence.

The mobile beeps and you reached to get it.A message indicates a problem. With that,your assistance,urgently required.At this ungodly hour of 2am,you never wished anyone from the ward to call because it means grim reaper is hard at work.Then again,that innocent child did nothing wrong to deserve such fate.When the body disregards the owner,one can only help to ease the owner's pains.

So you get ready to leave the bed.Then.you notice.One your left,she sleeps silently.Her eyes closed.Covered under the sheets.Her arms cuddling your shoulders as though she asks you not to leave.

You look.You observe.Her slow breathing.Her candy lips.Her silk hair.Such wonder.

Then you think.Of all the times you've spent together.From the time you two met over a random assignment meeting.Those crazy lecture sessions God-knows how you both sat through.From the long distance stint you need to better yourself that strained your love drunk mind.From that shabby apartment,you both rented when it was tough for you and her to break even.The cereal and bread you and her had for dinner a year ago.It was living hell but it didn't matter as long as there's the both of you.

And you stop thinking.Look how far we've come.Here we lie in this cozy house we call home.This perfect room.This perfect night air.

You lift her arms and gently placed them down.You give her a peck on her forehead.My crazy beautiful.

You get off then grab what's necessary and get dressed.It's time to leave.

It's time to save the world.

- - - - - - - - - -

It's a wonder that I tend to have brilliant ideas and inspiration when I'm under extreme stress.It's been a month since I last blogged and close to a year since I've wrote any story.It's been rather hectic and it will be until mid June so expect less update.With that said,enjoy an original short story. =)

New

2011-04-03T23:25:00.002+08:00

I've decided to change the blog layout again.This time around,I won't be getting layouts from 3rd party sites as base templates then customize them as I used to.However,I've decided to use Blogger's very own new layouts as my new base template for this blog and will try my hand at customizing this new provided layouts.As Blogger has a new and improved template designer,I've decided to try it out and see how things can work.So far,it's been pretty fun editing.

As always,there's more new thing coming soon.

Wait for it.

The Young Father.

2011-03-26T21:53:00.003+08:00

Just a week ago,I was in the hospital again as usual.As I was entering the treatment room,I chance upon seing a young man pushing a baby stroller past me.This particular individual sent shivers down my spine.Here comes a man,a father around either my age or my brother's.He's just as tall as I am and he has a child sleeping in the stroller crowded with plush toys.

Amidst the loud conversation of older parents at the paediatric ward,he sits on a bench next to his stroller,lost in translation.His face paints a man with countless thoughts.Probably about his ill-stricken child.The young toddler,somewhere around 2 to 4-years is bald,thin and fragile.The child suffers from leukemia.He look glum the whole time he was there.Anxiously waiting for his child's treatment.When it was his child's turn,he carries him in with his arms and later leaves the room.Young leukemia children go through a lot.It evident from their endless struggles and shrieks of fear.I couldn't blame him and I know he wish his son best but he couldn't bear to hear his son screaming at such raw age.It took him a while before he enters back into the room to console his crying son.Later,they both got a bed at the day care before being transferred to a room for the child to rest.

Though out of the day care,that man's face didn't not escape from my memory.A father of only somewhere around my age or my brother's with an ill son.He was there with his son,with the mother no where to be seen.Obviously,this a young couple having a ill child.Every time I think of him and his child,I think about my brother,my friends,everyone I've meet or seen around these age and myself.

Being 22 and a rather older figure to younger people,particularly my nephews,I feel that many things are going to change.One part of the change is relationships,family life and eventually marriage.I know many people will tell me,"it's a long way to go" or "why do you burden your mind with all this stuff,you're not even there yet!?!?!".True,I or even you no where there but think about it.You're 22 now.Very soon,you will be out there,a working individual and eventually meeting people and finding that special one.Then come marriage.Sure it's a long time.But when is it ever going to be long time when suddenly,you find yourself busy working your life away?

Think about it.

Even many of my friends have graduated and are working.Some are even in relationships and have already started living together.Some,well,still partying hard,escaping the realities of their youth.

Think about it.Again.

The point that I went to highlight today in this post is do take some time and think about your life or your future for awhile.Sometimes,we make the worst decisions.Yet,we can avoid them by thinking about them through before executing them.Think about the consequences of relationships,family life or virtually anything.How do you want to move forward? Are you ready for this new job? Are you ready to but this apartment? Are you ready to give your full commitment? Are you ready to be a father? Are you ready to have a ill child even though what you may do may not keep him or her alive for long? Are you ready? Are you willing?

Seing that young man go through all this by himself saddens me.I'm not here criticizing him that he didn't think about his life.In fact,it may be possible he thought about all this in detail.Who am I to judge a random stranger whom I don't even know? Then again,it just saddens me to see him go through all this.I can really understand what he's going through.

And to my friends who are thinking of marriage,please do me a big favour and go for a medical check up.Check throughly for genetic disorders and go for genetic counselling.The world we live in today is too sickly to be true.

And it will sadden me even more to see a couple I personally know having to go through all this agony.

Start

2011-02-18T21:49:00.003+08:00

February is almost coming to an end which proves that time as usual is never ever waiting for anyone.My summer break is coming to an end in a weeks time.Going back to college is giving me mixed feelings again.There are some things that I'm ready to face and some where I have to rediscover myself again.Life is definitely going to be different again.

In terms of blogging,I definitely didn't achieve most things that I want to apart from changing the layout and some stuff.Apart from that in the 3 month long summer break,I did meet up with many people,both family and friends,which is great and again had many farewells again.I believe very soon I may even get invitation to some engagement dinners,who knows? Furthermore,I fell sick countless times,which sucks.Mainly in January and February.I believe the massive change in weather patterns here may have some effect on my health.I've also managed to work on many projects,some of I have to discard due to being unsuitable.All in all,summer has been pretty awesome to me.

Anyway,as things start once again blogging will be rather slow...again...stay tuned!

Come Clean

2011-01-23T22:36:00.003+08:00

It appears that as though I lost the blogging mojo or I just can't think of any other thing to write about.The start of the year has been slow and not really in my favour.Plagued with illness and disdain thoughts,the start has been rather rough for me.

I've been thinking a lot lately.About my losses,my sacrifices and everything else.To the extend of having sleepless nights at times.It's funny how the human mind works at critical situations,especially when you are on the verge on breaking.Reality has been bothering me and I should come clean about it.

Back then,I was a person with high dreams.Expectations that drug my mind and life like wild ecstasy.I've always knew of the things I wanna achieve and have work my life,investing endless time to get there.Now,in life things don't always go right and reality often succeed to hold me firm to the ground.I've been toying with the idea of getting to Med School for a long time and I really,really want to be there some day.However,in my current situation at Pharmacy School,it may take me another 5 to 7 years to get there due to the remaining years of study bundled with housemanship and additional service years.Furthermore,being chained by study loans is another pain.It will probably take another half of my current life to pay them back in full with no debt.Then,question looms,what about other debts? Also as we grow older,our parents to grow older.We need to help them in every way as they had when we needed them.For me to let go everything and expect someone to do all this is just ridiculous and plain selfish.Even I fully disagree of chasing my wildest fantasy at the expense of all this.It's just too selfish.

Apart from all that is working my way up.By that again is wishful thinking.By the time I've pooled enough resources to get where I want,everyone else would have moved on in life.Moved on in many ways.While I'm just stuck here with my wildest ambition hoping be better in every way and to get equal shares just like the rest who are now further.

My friends have always said I'll get there.In my dreams,sometimes I do.But reality paints a different picture.I have been toying with this thought for a long time.And this time I want to come in clean.As a friend said life is too short to just keep everything in mind and trouble ourselves.

If it is my destiny to get where I've dream of then I will get there.If not,I believe I should just move on and let go of this.

Heck,I'd probably just do what I'm doing now for a while then who knows? Next thing I may just join National Geographic capturing photos or videos of wildlife.Life's just too unpredictable to know what will happen next.

1:1:11

2011-01-01T01:00:00.005+08:00

A new day has dawned upon this world.A new year has cometh.I look to the clear sky for wisdom and all I saw was clarity and lights of joy.

It's been hell for me.Last year was probably one of my worsts to date.I have my reasons and testaments for it.

I hope this year,as I always do,be better than the last.

One chapter has ended,time to write a new one.

Comeback

2010-11-25T17:36:00.003+08:00

It has been a month since I last posted anything on this blog.Finally,one month of endless mugging and discussion with friends on examination topics have gone by and 4 papers done with.The aftermath of the papers were no different compared to the previous semesters,with worries and endless of thoughts of whether we'll make it next year in one piece.Hopefully,all of us will and I really hope that is the case.My last 2 papers were near horror to me due to my inability to answer certain questions and time constraints but I hope that I can make it through.Everyone is hoping the same too I guess.Anyway,enough about that.

Now,it's the summer break!!

Time for me to sit back and enjoy for 3 months before the next semester starts.I hoping to make it down to Singapore for a vacation there but I think this will fail to materialize somehow.Apart from that,summer has been rather boring so far with multiple visits to the hospital for check ups and tests.Tomorrow will be the 4th visit I'll make there.Apart from that,I looking forward to meet up some friends heading home from their studies overseas and hopefully catch up with them.I'm also thinking on whether I should get a job or continue doing research this time.I feel that probably this time around probably I should try something new like getting a job or doing an attachment at a hospital pharmacy.I guess I'll probably do research again as I may not have the time to get my documents and letters ready in time to apply to a hospital pharmacy.

Finally,among the list to do as well is making a comeback in posting stuff on this blog.I've neglect it for a month already and now seing that I'm free,it's time to make up for lost time.I've been working on changing certain things on this blog lately.So if anything looks odd,I guess it will for a while until I get things working smoothly.

Well,that's all for now.For those on summer holidays or breaks,have fun and enjoy!!!

Note:I've notice my links for my friends' blogs is empty at the moment.It will be back soon!!

Against the odds

2010-10-14T00:05:00.003+08:00

Really tired from the week and mentally exhausted from the two internal tests I just went through in the course of 2 weeks.Both were hard to me as I felt so unprepared despite how much I do.Probably I didn't work as hard as I were back when I was young.It has been 2 tough weeks and my brain is taking the effects of it.And the careless mistakes I've made!! How careless and costly too!! Usually I don't bother so much about the aftermath but the weeks have made me getting second thoughts on many things: Whether am I actually cut out for this course? Am I able to make it? Will I be able to ever chase that dream I still have? Am I losing grip? Does pre-registered pharmacist actually really results in pre-retarded pharmacist? I don't know,just so many thoughts had gone through my mind now and then since the exams.Even when I just want to be alone,they come and haunt me,poisoning my confidence,drowning me in a sea of intoxicants.

It gonna be one hell of a ride from here onwards.I'm not going to back down now.I'm going to fight and get to the next level.I'm going to give my all until I make it.Especially with a research work and a shot of getting publish looming near.I have to make it and grab it.I'm not gonna dwell in the past.Going to work and make the future.I'm going to boost my confidence somehow to get me back into the game.And I'm going to make sure that the cards in my hand will favour me.I'm going to fight.

Once again,it's just me against the world.

Live.Love.Share.Hope.Pray.Cherish

2010-10-02T17:21:00.007+08:00

It has been a busy week despite the holidays.With studies,assignments and reviews to be done as well as some hospital visits and some sending off some good friends who were leaving for their studies oversea,it's been all busy.A photoshoot that I've even plan to do have also been put off to make time for the important things to be done right now.

And in the midst of all that,I knew of a friend who lost someone so dear to her.

When I knew about it,I can't help feeling sad for her and about it myself.I was just taken aback.Clueless.Suddenly,my whole world just turned hollow,empty as though I've lost something so dear myself.I just couldn't describe it myself.I felt just like when I lost grandma 4 years back.I just didn't want to do anything except think and contemplate on this.Suddenly,life became so fragile.Like a candle's light.We just won't know when it will go off.We just wouldn't.Clueless as I was,I just went to sleep,thinking about how the reality of life is all about,drowning myself in my ecstasy of unresolved thoughts.

Then today,I had a dhamma session with Reverend Sumedha.Had a long discussion as usual,but today,he focused on impermanence.The Buddha once said everything has a cause and effect.This cause and effect is bound to happen due to the conditions that favour it.Some of these can be a good thing.Some of it can be a bad thing.Some bring joy.Others brings sadness.Though all this happens,nothing will last forever.Everything comes and goes.You won't be sad forever.You won't be happy forever either.Everything is impermanent.Life is impermanent.Yet,if we come to terms and accept that life is impermanent,we recognize that it is impermanent,we can see beyond life.We will find inner peace.

Reverend who himself is a psychology graduate says people tend to think that they are strong,they have to be somebody in this world and carve a name for themselves.He says this happens because it's reality.Our family,society and even the world set expectations and standards for us.Pushing us.To be competitive.He says not that it is wrong.Yet,we need to understand despite being all this.Despite all the things that we are,a professional,a brother,a son or a grandson,we are all just individuals.

We in the end are just us.Strip all our worldly entitlements,it's all just flesh and bones: just us.

We are individuals after all.And someday,we'll have to leave it all behind too.So if we understand this,understand impermanence,recognize it and accept,we can look beyond it all.Beyond our life and others.We just finally know why all this happens.Why we are broken,patched up and alive again.Why we break down and then come back to fight on.Why we soldier on.Why we live life.

So if everything isn't permanent? Why live since all is going to be gone soon?

This is because while we are living,things move on.Life goes on.We meet people,pass people,remember people and forget about people.We live,die and reborn every moment.Everything we do leads to another.Every end is a new beginning and every new beginning has a new ending.It's a constant cycle where it's condition keep changing.

So while we live,let's do good and live a life full of service.A good life.A simple life.A happy life.While living,let's love everyone we know wholeheartedly.Be it your parents,brothers,sisters,family members,friends,neighbours,enemies,animals,people whom we know and patients whom we treat.While we love,let's spread love.Let's share love and everything we can to help others around us who lack love,who needs to be love,who wants to be loved.By sharing to help others,let's hope for better things in life.We may not get everything we need but we will have the necessary things,like love.So let's just keep on hoping.And let's spread hope to everyone who needs hope and to people who feel hopeless.Let's hope others share love.Let's hope.Then let's pray.Pray for wellness and happiness of everyone who loves,who shares and who hopes.Finally,let's cherish everything we live for.Everything we love,share,hoped and prayed for.For when everything is all gone,what's left is memories.Memories which we can hold on to.Memories where we can still look back and smile about.Memories which we can carry to the end.

Everything is impermanent.Even so life goes on.Just: Live.Love.Share.Hope.Pray.Cherish.

Today was a good day.Just when I needed an answer,Buddha led me to it,to his representative,Reverend Sumedha to speak of his wise word.Thank you Lord.

With that,let me end this post with a poem from one of my favourite games,Kingdom Hearts,which fits the context of what I've feel about my contemplation,thoughts and what I've said in this post:

Thinking of you, wherever you are.
We pray for our sorrows to end,
and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows:
starting a new journey may not so hard
or maybe it has already begun.
There are many worlds,
but they share the same sky-
one sky, one destiny.

Live.Love.Share.Hope.Pray.Cherish

May God bless you all.May you all be well and happy.

Break

2010-09-27T23:43:00.003+08:00

Finally, the mid semester break is here.Although it may be a short one week break,I feel that all of us at the university deserve it as the past month was all about being busy with assignments,presentations and various lab reports.It has been a crazy August-September period but I'm glad everything went well so far and nothing other that a bad viral infection tried to affect my flow and pace.Too bad the virus lost.

Despite the break,there many things to be done.Catching up with my buddies before they part again once more.Catching up on my studies and preparing for the finals.Catching up on my life,passion and discovering myself once again since I have some time to contemplate on.Hospital visits.Revitalizing this blog.Just so many things to do,so little time.

Apart from that,I've been having this urge of trying to draw or write something again.Something in me seems to be telling me that this creative part of my life has to go on despite being really engrossed in the medical and pharmaceutical sciences right now.It will be tough to juggle all of this but I believe art can be therapeutic sometimes as it is known to reduce stress.I just have to manage my time well and figure things out for myself.As for writing,I have some ideas but have a feeling that I will end up writing a half baked literary piece.So probably I will skip writing for now.

Anyway,that's all I have for now.If I have the time probably some new things and changes can be seen pretty soon.Just look out for it.

Busy

2010-09-12T21:13:00.004+08:00

It has been a busy 4 weeks.Which is why there's a lack of any new posts for a month.Many things have been going on and I'm amaze that I can somehow keep up with this fast phase.As usual,lectures have been getting harder and within this 4 weeks were endless assignments,presentations and a test.Having said test,there's another one coming up this Friday and another assignment due tomorrow.So yeah,it has been a rather busy month for me and I even felt sick after completing a major assignment (must be all the late nights I've spent working on it that caused it...).I'm finally getting better now,just in time for the next test.Thank God.

Apart from that,I've started on a photography project!! Yes,it's basically like street photography with me taking random photos of anything interesting that happens (randomly!!) with the Holga 135 but not really on the street but at specific places I'm frequently at where I will experiment o hip shots,double exposures and so on.I will post more on it soon.Meanwhile,my Yashica FX-3 is loaded with a damaged film (my poor Kodak Gold 200 that made it through 3 X-Ray machines...sigh...).Trying to just capture anything I find interesting around the house and my city to see how the film will turn out.

Well,that's about it for now.Tomorrow the week starts again.Here's to a pleasant week ahead!!!

Right Now

2010-08-11T23:29:00.005+08:00

It's already August and pretty much things are moving in high gear now.Everyday,more time is spent in the university for lectures,labs as well as sports.It's great to work out a sweat sometimes and the gang has been making this possible nearly every single day since the semester started.

Things have not been going to well I suppose.Lectures getting harder by the day and things necessary for a life time are needed to be well verse as though it's spoken everyday.Though hard,some things have become more interesting though.Like a clinical pharmacy tutorial and evaluating how useful journals are; some of the things that I can really see useful for me for future application.Also in the midst of all that,I managed to catch Inception in cinemas.Here's to hoping I'd catch The Expendables this weekend.

In terms of my life,things too haven't been that well either.I'm still single (should I even say this? oh well).My current application to do a summer research internship in Australia hasn't been going so well.I even got a rejection from a research institute,reason being that the institute doesn't have the capacity to include me for the moment.I've sent out more letters and I'm hoping for the best.Meanwhile,indulging in photography has been on hold for now with the amount of work and materials I need to cover.I thought of kick-starting a project involving random,candid shots in the university with the film camera but haven't really put much thought into how I intend to do this project.I will probably put some more thought into it when I have the time.

So yeah,right now this is the life.

The Disability of Reality

2010-07-29T23:17:00.005+08:00

The following is a true account.Names have been changed to protect privacy.A profanity is used to emphasize a point and not to offend anyone.

**********

Jake and Sarah have been happily married for 2 years now and are expecting their first child.Being first time parents,having a first child,is somewhat an exciting experience.Of course the journey into this world is not to be only enjoyed by the loving couple but enjoyed by all,family,friends and perhaps even members of the community such as neighbours or religious leaders.Jake and Sarah just could not wait to walk into this wonderful world.Soon enough,Cynthia came along.

Like every other little girl,she was loved.In fact,well loved.She was the apple of her family's eye.The youngest and the one that represented the future.She was everything all parents and family members ever wished for.A young,healthy and beautiful child.

Now to the bitter reality,let's throw all that happiness out the window.

At 7 months old,she was presenting a bad flu and cold.Upon visiting a physician,Jake and Sarah were relieved that Cynthia was just suffering a minor disease.Yet,the symptoms despite medication never seem to wear off.Sarah opted for a second opinion.A well trained physician again gave her similar but stronger medications.However,this time,he tells the parents something that they may have not considered all this while.A prevalence of an inherited disease in Cynthia.He directs them to undergo some tests to test his diagnosis.Being new parents,this idea of a possible crippling life time disease disturbed them.Perhaps tormented them.After all the various tests,their worst fears were confirmed.Cynthia was having a gene which 1 in 20 Malaysians have.A gene that would disrupt her life.She was diagnosed positive for Beta Thalassaemia Major.

The new family is now unsure of their next move.A child with a life time disease.It's not like they will live long enough to care for little Cynthia.She will have to grow up and move on eventually.How would they do it? Can they ever find a solution to ultimately have her cured? Can they sustain her treatments and therapy as she grows? How are they suppose to tell a little girl that she's going to be sickly for the rest of her life? Most importantly,will the child thrive?

And nothing really helps to put this off into a better situation.Living in a religious society with strong cultural sensitivity,for Sarah's in laws,this was a curse.An imperfect child deemed a curse.Sarah was to be blamed for bringing it.For affecting the family with it.All that bad luck and charm shit bound with her and Cynthia.Nope,their family was never involve or even had any of these.Despite what you tell about genetics,it's not Jake's family's fault,neither it is his.From a precious little diamond,Cynthia became ash,to be blow off by the furious wind.Never to be seen again.Jake,being mature and rational disagrees with the family.Being a man,he decided to stay by Sarah and wants Cynthia to grow.He wants to grow old with them.Just the three of them.However,with his family intervening and pressure,in the end,he was asked to leave Sarah with Cynthia.Never to see them again.Again.

Being only two people,one so young and one just a new parent and now a single mother,I can not fathom what emotional distress she could be in at that moment in life.I dare say that if I were Sarah,I would be sad,confused and possibly angry at such world,one which was suppose to be kind to us,suddenly became so ugly and ignorant.I would curse at the unfairness of life and grow disbelief of destiny and fate.What am I to do would be my worst fear.I cannot imagine what she was going through but all I know is it would change her or break her.

Sarah was strong and determined despite all the troubles around her.With the support of her family and friends,she mustered all she need to move on.She is determined that Cynthia will grow up and eventually be cured.But for now,she wants Cynthia to grow up,be healthy and happy.She worked and take care of Cynthia,watching her grow along the way.Along the way came a friend named Christopher.A gentleman who starts to be intimate with her.Eventually as people say,the stars will fall align.Once again,she was loved and Christopher marries Sarah.Christopher was indeed a real gentleman.A man who would love a single mother and her daughter as they were so precious to him that it will even kill him to not see them happy.

Today,they three are seen happily leaving the ward,Cynthia telling some girly secrets to her father and father was questioning her sincerity only to lead to laughter and him carrying and kissing her in his arms.Carrying her in an arm with a hand in Sarah,Christopher leaves the walkway,away from my view.

**********

This is a typical scenario that some of us may have come across in our lives.All of us may have learn of people whom we know often suffering from something incurable and some of these people may not have the care and love they need.This story is one of them.Genetic disease.Incurable.With families that cannot differentiate bad luck and omen from the reality of life and the evidence based scientific practice.I don't blame culture or religion for that matter.I blame the idiots for being so blind in the way they view things.Being unable to accept and face reality.Being unable to live with a challenge.And a rational man who has no resolve.A blood that is made from your blood,you leave just because your family intervenes with no stand by yourself.Even the Buddha leaves his family for his mission but understands the importance of family ties and provides them with everything necessary emotionally and physically before he leaves for them for his mission.I'm sad at that man's behaviour and definitely admire that of Christopher.It's not easy for a man to marry a single mother and have a daughter that is not even his own,let alone to love them wholeheartedly.

When I know more of this stories of reality,I often look back at my life and see a different picture.And I am ever grateful.To have my parents and family members always behind me and behind each other.With love and support all the way.I thank God that I'm blessed with such a great family and I'm thankful for all the amazing things that they have done for me.Despite having both my grandmothers being illiterate,yet they knew that I'm still part of the family and want to see me grow.Particularly,my paternal grandmother who is always supportive of me and who always want me to grow to serve the people like my grandfather did.I'm grateful.Thankful.Thank you God for all the wonderful people in my life.

So here's what I want to share today and I shall leave you all with some final thoughts to ponder.Please,be aware that despite all the good health you have,go for a genetic test for disease which genes you may be unaware of carrying.Make this a requirement before you married.You will never know what you have and what you may produce later when you start a family.Save yourselves and your love ones of all the misery.If you do have any of these genes,see a physician or attend a genetic counselling session for advice.It doesn't hurt to learn more.Most importantly,life will always throw you challenges.Don't give up,just take them one by one and move along.

Finally,to my guy friends,if you ever encounter a situation like this,please be mature and be a man.a gentleman.Don't be an idiot or worst,an asshole.Be mature and be a man.Do the right thing.

Remember,what goes around,comes around.

Week 1

2010-07-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

The first week of the semester break officially ends in half an hour's time with the second week starting tomorrow.Week 1 alone was already with its challenges with many expectations thrown at us and many things to be completed.Lecture load have been increasing as the lectures progresses.What use to be around 40 slides can now reach up to over a 100 slides.More paper to print and more things to learn.Some of these lectures are even done in an hour's time leaving me to wonder whether my humble brain can actually churn up all the information.

Apart from that nothing really interesting happened in week 1.Except if you count one random vomiting as interesting.Friday was that fated day and yes I vomited after God knows how many years.I guess I last vomit somewhat around 7 to 9 I think.Must be my alimentary system still being on red alert after a series of food poisoning since I return from Bali 2 weeks ago.It's funny how efficient the human body works in clearing out all toxins,bacteria and dirty invaders.I'm glad mine is at optimum physiological level.

Other than all that,I'm glad that I know many people who care about me,asking how I'm after all that.Thanks guys and girls (you all know who you are) and may God bless you all.

Well,that's all for week 1.

I hope everyone's had a great week last week.Here's wishing for a great week ahead!!!

Expectations

2010-07-20T23:03:00.004+08:00

Today's the only second day of the start of the semester and definitely it has been a tiring 2 days so far.Already,a lot of expectations are expected from us to do our respected assignments well and to go through the second half of the year smoothly.Already,I found things getting way tougher and I believe that my chances of pushing up my grades this time may be on hold once again just like before.Just doing some refresher questions to recollect what is studied a year ago is already making me anxious because I can't even answer many of them!! It's ridiculous seing questions that a year ago I was proficient in doing them with now,suddenly being unable to do them.

Apart from all of that tough times,it was definitely great to meet up,have meals and chat together with good friends.Talking crap,random card games and a Defence of the Ancients game,just the few things that bring us together as we use to always.

Back to sorting out the notes.

Picturescape:Bali

2010-07-18T22:55:00.005+08:00

Simply look with perceptive eyes at the world about you, and trust to your own reactions and convictions. Ask yourself: "Does this subject move me to feel, think and dream? Can I visualize a print - my own personal statement of what I feel and want to convey - from the subject before me? -Ansel Adams,American Photographer and Environmentalist-

Photographs from my recent trip to Bali.That's all I'll post for now.

Now for some tech/photographer jargon: First 3 photographs taken with Yashica FX-3 using Yashica ML 50mm f2 lens and Kodak Ultramax 400.Last photograph taken with Canon Digital Ixus.

Apart from this,my new semester starts tomorrow.Back to them lectures now.

Still In The Game

2010-07-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

Finally,after a 5 week long anxious,nervous anticipation,the first semester results are finally out.I passed,thank God and did ok.I thought I could have done a little better to push my grades up but it didn't work out this time unlike the last semester.I regret the fact that while others are improving,I'm rather average.Oh well,at least I'm still in the game and won't be wasting my parents' hard earned money.For that,I'm grateful.I will work harder again next semester as I do and probably try something new to improve myself.Hopefully next semester which starts in 3 days will be a fruitful one.I'm really looking forward to the integrated therapeutics.Sounds rather interesting.Hopefully it would not be tough.

Monday is where it all begins again.Here's to hoping everyone did well.

Back

2010-07-14T23:03:00.003+08:00

Again for a week I haven't been updating anything.Well I have some good reasons to cover for my lack of updates.Firstly,I had a little trip with my family to Indonesia,particularly to Bali.This has been something my brother was planning all the while.So when he told us all,we just went ahead and there I was last weekend.After that,I had a really bad food poisoning upon reaching home to Malaysia.Couldn't really figure out what caused the food poisoning though but I'm going to suspect the fresh milk I took for breakfast before I left Bali.This is because everyone else in my family didn't touch any milk except for me who took had a pure glass of it and added in a bowl of cereal I took.

Food poisoning aside,Bali was amazing.I really love the culture Balinese people have.People there are very spiritual and friendly in contrast to what I've been told about the locals there prior to departure.I love the fact that the people there really take tourism so seriously and they can really think of various ways to make tourist money,with hard work of course.I feel that tourism is taken rather lightly back home despite various measure being implemented to make tourism a success here.The environment there is also well preserved,with Bali having many greenery.Balinese have a sense of dependency on the environment from what the tour guide told me and because of that they understand,respect and care for it (Honestly,I think we all have that same sense of dependency,which is why we should respect the environment too regardless who we are).This also explains why one can't really find any skyscrapers at all there.Other than that,the roads and beach there are surprisingly clean.

The only thing I regret about Bali is not having enough time.I didn't really had the time to explore the town,particularly Kuta town on foot.Walking around,seing places,understand their culture.Following a tour can sometimes be a little frustrating because you have paid for it and you can't just stop anywhere just to enjoy a view or so (but the tour was good and I'm grateful).Like in the paddy fields,I thought of asking the van driver to stop because I really would love to see how the paddy farmers work and take photographs of the process.Speaking of photographs,the ones I took to me were disappointing.I didn't really have the time to properly set things up on my film SLR and every time when I try to do so,my parents would rush me to avoid wasting the tour guide's time.So basically my set up was just referring to film set up notes on my little notebook-look outside,checking weather-reach site-snap!! I basically just snap away without putting much thought into the exposure,aperture and composition.

Anyway,that's about what I've been up too so far.My semester one results will be out tomorrow and boy am I nervous.Here's for the best.Wish me luck!!

Differing Viewpoints

2010-07-06T22:39:00.004+08:00

I don't really understand how ignorant people can be despite being well trained.Perhaps one is probably interested in making money only or interested in trial and error results or perhaps one just don't give a damn.Personally,I feel this is disgusting.

Picture this situation:

You see a doctor because you feel ill or something's not right.You meet the doctor and then later he 'thinks' you have some particular problem.The doctor asks you to perform some tests.With tests results back (once you've done all the tests),the doctor suggests you to take some medicine.The pharmacist agrees.

Time passes.You come back for a follow-up.Then,the doctor ordered some never done before tests again.After the tests,the doctor believes that the current medicine is inadequate and suggests new or even more medicine to take.You follow.The pharmacist agrees.Again.

Later,perhaps you converse with a family doctor or friends who are doctors and perhaps your pharmacists friends or your friendly neighbourhood community pharmacist.They tell you of all the unnecessary things you've gone through,useless tests or medicine which has probably no effect on you at all or dangerous to your health.They even suggest better medicine and sometimes natural remedies.

What would you do in the above situation?

Think about it.You want a solution.You hope for one.Yet after all the crap you go through,you only end up knowing that the people who are suppose to cure you does nothing but waste your time,money and perhaps putting your life and health at risk.

Think about it.I've been reading articles on how medical professionals have been rather unethical and some overdoing useless and pointless medical tests to earn more money.This also applies to pharmacists recommending useless supplements and medication to earn money and move their stocks.Seriously,the medical profession may be one of the most trusted in the world but to be frank,don't be shocked to see a few bad hats.Really.And I'm disgusted.

Personally,I have experience ridiculous things like this and I'm really pissed myself.How can people who dedicate their lives to saving others instead become greedy and harm them instead? Where did all that oath taking went to? Or am I just another small boy living in world where I think all medical professionals are the good guys just doing plain good and humanitarian stuff?

With around 30 medical schools and around 12 pharmacy schools in this country (correct me on the figures if I'm wrong...),sometimes I wonder,is there really standard? Do students themselves know how to judge whether they make the cut or not? I really wonder sometimes.

This is why I want to be a health care professional.To improve or maintain the quality of life of patients in need of our service and knowledge.Furthermore,let's note that we may not always be able to save our patients despite all the knowledge with them.Yet,we can care for them and make them feel comfortable and in good spirits despite all the challenges they may face while being sick.And finally to research and search for newer and effective cures or drug therapy to eliminate or alleviate the patients' sufferings or illness.

We may not be able to prescribe or dispense any so called miracle medication all the time but we can definitely prescribe and dispense something:Love,care,hope and laughter.

In fact,double dose them.

One Good Camera

2010-06-30T23:13:00.004+08:00

Back in 2007, I took these 2 photos:

Rose

Cat

In 2009, I took this shot at Sri Lanka:

Innocence

Damn,you are still one good compact camera,Canon Digital Ixus 50.

Well, just what great picture can I take next?

10 Days

2010-06-29T00:40:00.004+08:00

Probably you may have noticed that it's exactly 10 days since I've written anything here.Despite having so many things to share and blog about,I find myself not being able to find time.To be honest,I have been on the move a lot since the semester break begun,with hospital visits and various activities (mainly family related) to attend.Also for the first time, I attended an all day creative event called Urbanscapes with Alex at KL PAC (Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre).Not too bad an event where I met 2 old friends.I also saw someone resembling a friend in high school but I did not dare to go near or even greet her because I can't even tell whether she's the same person as the I know.So yeah,I walked away to avoid misunderstanding but regretted doing so because if I'm wrong I could have made a new contact.Although that was a minor issue of the day (apart from the usual KL traffic crawl...),Urbanscapes was great and I manage to indulge in photography as usual.If only time was not a barrier,I'd probably stayed on to try out portrait shots once the lawn concert commence (sadly it's stated on a banner that the lawn concerts only started around 3 to 3.30pm).

Apart from all of that,the evenings are spent on exercising,mainly jogging and the night mainly spent on watching football.Just plain football.Too much though that I've even been labelled football crazy by my mother.

Anyway,that's mainly why I haven't been blogging.I really have so much in my mind right now about what to post but clearly and I will definitely continue to post more stuff up.

Stay tuned!!! =)

The Aftermath

2010-06-19T02:13:00.004+08:00

NOTE:SOME OLD POSTS WILL BE DELETED DUE TO CERTAIN CONTENT WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO MAINTAIN AS PRIVATE.DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU DON'T FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

Finally after 2 seemingly long weeks,I find myself free from the clutches of having to study for the examinations.Probably I have said this over and over again,yet I still want to say that study for exams just kills the love for the subjects and its mood.Anyway,the exam for this semester was really hard.Just when I thought this year would be a good time to redeem myself and push my grades higher,it turns out that I feel so unprepared just like before.Even the additional hours that I've put in this semester (I think I studied a 'wee' more hours this time....) would help.Pathology was really hard,I felt as though I studied nothing at all.Anyway,the damage has been done,I just have to look forward and leave it to God now.

With the exams gone I have 5 weeks of free time to burn.I guess I will take it easy this semester break as I would probably head for some research work come November.Furthermore,many of my friends are back from the UK for the summer holidays.Thus,it's time to catch things that I've been missing.Lastly, the World Cup is here as well.It has been really unpredictable this year and until now I can't even predict whose gonna nick the cup this year.So yeah,I pretty much have many things to feel my time this time around.Not forgetting that I can once again indulge in photography and blogging.

Anyway,just hours ago,my classmates and I was at a friend's house for a barbeque party to mark the end of the semester and as a farewell for our friends who will be heading to Australia for a semester exchange programme.Great party,great music,great food,warm host,great company,games of cards and watching the World Cup was basically what happened or was at the party.I even got the chance to finally test out an expired film on my film SLR camera (will blog about this one day...).Unfortunately,I only took around 11 shots and I avoided using flash to avoid the girls from feeling irritated.At around 11pm,I found myself on the move again,second round to a nearby cafe (or mamak stall as we Malaysians called it) for a second round.This time I went with the Usuals.

So that really sums up what happened today and what has been going on.

It's 2.45 am and I should be sleeping now.

Damn.