Hot Ink

The Baby Bear Porridge of Lotions: Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Lotion

2012-03-01T14:00:00.000-05:00

Dixie

Once upon a time there was a little lady in Florida who was searching for a lotion to keep her skin soft in the winter. So, she went on a quest to the hippie food store and to Target (naturally) to find her one true moisturizer.

This one was too greasy. That one was too light. T'other one didn't last through the day. But the Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Lotion that smells of frankincense and myrrh? Why, that one was just right! This is the story of a product that dry-skinned ladies and gentlemen everywhere will rejoice to find at their local stores.

Finding a product that will moisturize dry skin in the winter without remaining on the surface of the skin is tricky. Those of you who don't live in Florida will be surprised to learn that we do actually get cold, dry weather down here. When it does happen, we need thick lotions just like the rest of you. I've been through a lot of lotions and butters over the years. Cocoa and shea butter are fantastic for moisturizing but, honestly, it's a pain in the ass to dig them out of the tub. And a regular, run of the mill lotion just will not cut it, especially if you are in and out of doors all day long. Shea Moisture, however, has hit upon a happy medium.

Their Organic Raw Shea Butter Lotion is thin enough that you don't have to dive into a tub nails first but thick enough to keep your skin moisturized from the time you put it on until the time you bathe the next day. Most importantly, it actually absorbs into your skin rather than sitting in a grimy layer on top. And the icing on top of the well-moisturized cake? It's scented with frankincense and myrrh, so you smell of warm, wintery goodness.

My one issue with the product is a nit-picky one; the lotion is so thick that it is difficult to squeeze out of the cylindrical bottle. I have to store it upside down and vigorously shake it down to the neck in order to avoid having to squeeze the bottle so hard that my hand gets tired. (That whole sentence sounds dirty, but that's the best I can do, so get your minds out of the gutter, mkay?) Perhaps a better method of delivery would be a tube soft enough to manipulate the lotion down towards the opening. Also, it's hard for a cheapskate like me to cut open a hard plastic bottle and scrape out remnants that stick to the sides...and there is a good amount that sticks since the lotion is so thick. A tube is much easier to chop up. Waste not, want not, readers, especially with a wonderful lotion like this.

I give this product a 7/8 tentacles, docking one tentacle for the difficulty of the packaging. This lotion and the rest of the Shea Moisture line of lotions, soaps, and hair care is available in-store at Target, Walgreens, and Duane Reade and online at Walgreens.com. The Organic Raw Shea Butter Lotion is available for around $10 at any of the listed stores.

Rating: 7/8 tentacles

Tom Hardy: Momma Like!! Oh, And Some Links Too...

2012-03-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Tom Hardy greets you on this, the first of March. No reason. Except that he's gorgeous.

Here's some more gorgeous stuff, though I'm less inclined to dream about them tonight. Photos of fashion throughout history. (Old Rags)

Well, maybe I'll dream about wearing one of those dresses while being courted by Hardy. Yes. That sounds good. I'll aim for 8 hours, unlike these people that split their sleep into 2 chunks and occupy themselves in-between. (BBC News)

Ah, The Hunger Games. I adored the books and I am looking forward to the movie(s). Check out these photos and become either more excited or finally excited. (Pajiba)

Speaking of Katniss, here are 10 more badass women who didn't have superpowers. (The Mary Sue)

By now you probably already know that Davy Jones, of The Monkees, has passed away at age 66. I loved The Monkees growing up (aw yeah, Nick at Night!) and especially loved the dreamy Jones. Some people saw The Monkees as just a ripoff of The Beatles, but they had their own hits and their own style. (The Gloss)

Habit loops! That's what those are called! This is why I feel the need to do all of the things in such a specific manner and feel out of sorts when even one thing is off. I totally run on habit loop in the morning. (The Emotion Machine)

I don't think my whole "beating Resident Evil 4 on all the gamine platforms" was a habit loop. I think it was just my crush on Leon S. Kennedy. And the splattering of La Plaga-infected townspeople when I blasted them full of bullets. I'm not the only one who thinks Leon is HOT. (The Hairpin)

Wow. Even if Whitney Houston hadn't passed recently, this is possibly the top 5 of idiotic and plain not funny cards ever made. (Gossip Cop)

Something else creepy and depressing? SURE! TLC's show "My Strange Addictions" is not even kidding with that title. At. All. (Warming Glow)

Let's all feel better with two words: Cupcake ATM! (Gizmodo)

Then check out these Essential Apps from February and grab some of those too. TREAT YO SELF! (Gizmodo)

BAHAHAHAH! Figgy will love this! You favorite celebs, CHOLAFIED! The one of the Toddlers and Tiaras kid is geep's new profile picture for Facebook, I HOPE! (Uproxx)

Ukrainian Pop Band covers Bon Jovi: even more amazing than it sounds!

Look! New trailer for The Avengers! I'm avoiding trailers more and more because they give away all of the plot, but enjoy!

Glamour Magazine: Figgy Takes One For The Team

2012-03-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Figgy

Figgy reads the March 2012 Glamour so you don't have to!

Marc by Marc Jacobs has the ugliest ads I've ever seen, with cracked-out, grasshopper-like models with half their hair shaved off and looking like they smell of pickles and dirty feet. Gross.

Amanda Seyfried (on the cover this month) is very pretty. I wish she'd make better movies.

To get the look she's wearing on the cover would mean draping myself in all my No-No-Nos: floral-print tank top (florals make me look like a couch), skinny jeans (nope, I actually have hips), giant platform shoes (face, meet floor!) and colorful earrings. It's actually pretty cute if you can work the look.

My favorite thing might be a Word Cloud on how their viewers see the Kardashians, and the biggest words there seems to be "Talentless" and "Fame Whores". Because, seriously, fuck those bitches.

Their Dos and Don'ts: Big buns (ugh, looking like a grandma), hair in bizarre colors (yes!), looking "adorable" (um), Ryan Gosling (YES), Ryan Reynolds (no), 11 year-old fashion icons (FUCK no, go the fuck away, Willow Smith), pretending to be Marilyn Monroe (gah, no, stop it), feathers ("So Don't, It's a do", SHUT UP), and Mindy Kaling talking about dressing for the Oscars. I love her.

Don't's: Going around naked on your bicycle? Glamour, you're so stupid sometimes.

Jamie Lynn Spears just wants to do a good job by her kids. Nice, but I'd start with staying the fuck at home and/or getting a real job, JL. And don't take your sister as a role model.

Retouching photos is bad, y'all! Unfortunately the article is most ironically followed by an ad for Elizabeth Arden where the model doesn't have any pores or shadows on her face, so GIANT FAIL. Here's your depressing tidbit: Most of the young girls they polled said they were OK with photoshopping their personal photos.

Here's what we should all wear this spring, if we all want to look exactly the same:

Graphic Prints: Oy with the 70s, already.
Bright floral prints: Your grandmother's couch.
Romantic prints: Cute.
Accessories in solid colors: WANT. But I'm not paying $90 for a clutch from Banana Republic. You can't even fit a sandwich in there.
Bright Pants: UGH. Can we talk about this? I hate them. I hate that every single fucking store in the world is going to be featuring these damned neon-colored pants, and how they make all of us bottom-heavy people look ridiculous, and let's just MAKE IT STOP.
Platform Wedges: Might make your feet look like hooves.
Skirts: Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.
Red Jackets: Might make you look like a realtor.
Denim Shorts: For everyone except me.
Maxi Skirts: Cute if you can work it.

If you want the ugliest fucking outfit in the world: Take Keira Knightley's pleated, tapered maroon pants and Gaga's monstrosity of a printed shirt, put them in a blender, drink them, throw them up and wear them. Holy shit, Glamour. Are you kidding me with this?

You couldn't pay me to wear those hideous floral-printed pants from H&M that they feature in their outfit guide. Brr.

The guide on what sorts of skirts you should wear for your body shape is actually pretty helpful. I need to invest in skirts.

Their feature on "5 Bags every woman should own" ranges from a $24 canvas tote from Baggu to a $3200 travel bag from Louis Vuitton. Oh, Glamour, you scamp. That's the most expensive product they feature, by the way.

Trend that is more annoying and uglier than colored jeans: "Sporty mesh"-- because FUCK and NO. The only people who should wear mesh shirts are giant muscly types in bad 80s movies, like the ones in Mannequin 2. God, I loved that movie. It was so awful.

I don't give the slightest bit of a shit about Alexa Chung or finding out why the hell she's famous.

Kesha (NO, I refuse to write her name the other way) looks trashy whether she's wearing her usual ridiculous outfits or not. The stupid faces she keeps making don't help.

Glamour actually includes non-white women in their editorials. Nice.

Stories about soldiers returning from war to surprise their families will ALWAYS make me cry. There's one about a female soldier who surprised her kids by hiding in a giant gift box. So damn sweet.

I really want to buy Versace's Yellow Diamond perfume. Mmm.

Glamour only wants women with no boobs to wear tops with deep v-necks. Shut the hell up.

Chris Pine is adorable, in a Preppy Tommy-Hillfiggerish kind of way.

In conclusion: Brace yourselves for a lot of ugly clothes this spring, buy expensive shit and you'll be just fine. And maybe don't listen to Glamour so much. Wear whatever the hell you want.

But Where Did The Lighter Fluid Come From?

2012-03-01T07:52:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

You see Woot 's shirt of the day, right there? I NEED IT. I NEED IT LIKE THE INTERNET NEEDS MEMES. $12 + free shipping.

Express has an extra 40% off their already reduced clearance items.

Smashbox is having a beauty blowout.

Get a $15 iTunes giftcard for $7.50 from Saveology.

Ulta has a free 13 piece set with any $17.50 purchase of select Ulta Brand items. Save $3.50 off $10 purchase with code 76298.

e.l.f. has 6 free mineral brushes with purchases of $25 or more and code MINBRUSH.

First Crushes: We Are Understandably Embarrassed

2012-02-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

David Duchovny

I’ve been a night owl my whole life and somewhere during my elementary school career my parents stopped fighting it and let me stay up to watch TV with them. This means that at ten I was watching both “The X Files” and “E.R” and developed crushes on George Clooney and David Duchovney. While my classmates were mooning over JTT and Leo, I was making up stories about Dr.Doug Ross hugging me after I went to the hospital for a very treatable ailment, or Fox Mulder coming to investigate strange doings and ending up taking me out for ice cream and holding hands. My classmates didn’t understand then, but age and wisdom have proven me right. And my fantasies are very different these days. - Rusty

Corey Feldman

If you grew up in the '80's like me, you probably had a crush on one of the Coreys. You most likely thought Corey Haim, the cute one, was just dreamy. But to me, Corey Feldman was IT. He was the snarky, wiseass sidekick who had a mind (and fashion sense) of his own. It's easy to look back now and realize that I had questionable taste in boys (just LOOK at that hair. And that's the least embarrassing photo I could find. Let's not even discuss his Michael Jackson obsession.), but I'll always have a fondness for my very first celebrity crush. - MelBivDevoe

Fred Savage

Oh, the 80s! A time of Kirk Cameron (who was also on my wall), New Kids On The Block, and The Wonder Years. I loved watching the awkward Kevin Arnold, portrayed by Fred Savage, and had posters of him on my walls. I may have had one in particular that I might have smooched, but you could never prove a thing like that. Thankfully. As an adult, Fred Savage is still a pretty good-looking guy. He's also a talented director and a father and husband. I think I chose a pretty good first crush, if I do say so myself. - Pinky

Tom Cruise

This is incredibly embarrassing to admit now, but you gotta remember that this was in the early 90s and I was a stupid teenager when I first had a crush on Tom Cruise. I remember that the first time I ever used the internet was to look up pictures of him on Alta Vista. My friend Jenny and I used to go to the school library, leaf through magazines and rip out the pages that had his pictures on them (sorry, Mrs. Signorini). But, look. Before we all knew he was crazy, the guy was pretty damn cute. The dark hair, the eyebrows, that SMILE, the swagger. Stupid teens are all about the swagger and the harmlessness. So, while now he's a couch-jumping weirdo, let's all remember the days when he was really, really cute in "The Outsiders". - Figgy

Julian Lennon

When Pinky asked for our first crushes, my initial thought was, "It's been so long, I have *no* idea who my first crush was!" But then, I came up with an early crush that is nicely embarrassing, so I figured it would work: Julian Lennon. I don't know what to tell you. It was the 80s, he had boyish good looks, longish hair (I have a thing for guys with long hair) and is British. And he was a musician. What more could a teenaged-girl want in a guy? I actually owned his first album-on vinyl, of course. In fact, I would still have it, but I'm pretty sure my friend, Jenn, borrowed it. - Tamatha

Joey McIntyre

Like a lot of the ladies at Hot Ink, I grew up in the 80s. Which meant one thing: New Kids on the Block were the new Beatles for teen girls to freak out over. Joey McIntyre was my favourite. I had posters of him taken out of Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, and Bop magazine all plastered on my walls. Hell, we share the same birthday. December 24th, 1978 y'all. Right down to the same HOUR. So in my teenaged brain we were meant to be. He was the cutest NKOTB - and still is. I'm really not sure if I should be embarrassed by this crush (just look at the HAIR! Ugh!), or kind of impressed with my ability to choose a child star that didn't get messed up and die young (ahem, River Pheonix). Either way, I hung tough, hoping against all hope that he'd see me at a concert and choose me to be his cover girl. -Metric Jenn

Nuking The Fridge Has Been Scientifically Proven To Be Bullsh*t

2012-02-29T12:00:00.001-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Let's start out with something that will either confuse you or make you feel old. Then the links can only get better from there! Check out these nearly extinct household items. (Listverse)

There, there. Here's something to brighten your mood! Eight amazing women-run businesses! (ecosalon)

Remember that movie, Indiana Jones and the Bullshit Alien Crap? It gave us the phrase "nuking the fridge" and upset tons of us with its idiocy. Well, some scientists decided to actually study Indy's ability to survive the nuclear blast shoved in a fridge and SPOILER ALERT: it's not fucking possible. (Time)

I'm guessing that the plotline of one of my favorite movies, Memento, is more plausible. The plotline is a bit confusing, with it being shown in reverse order. Here is a lovely graphic to assist you in unraveling the actual chronology of the film. (The High Definite)

Another "No Shit!" scientific study was done, finding that people with higher socioeconomic status are more likely to be unethical. Duh. (Live Science)

Do you like contests and winning? Great! Help The Mary Sue choose a new outfit for their costumed mascot! (The Mary Sue)

A quick round-up of celebrity baby news! Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck welcomed a baby boy! (People)

Snookie may be pregnant. /shudder. (Gossip Cop)

Uma Thurman is expecting her third child. (People)

Okay! Enough of that! Let's move on to a blog by my friend Dana and her family downsizing to a smaller home, remodeling that home while living in an apartment, and dealing with a wanted but unplanned pregnancy ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Plus, Dana has amazing style and taste. (House*Tweaking)

You know I love nail art. Here are 3 DIY runway looks. (Refinery 29)

I have no idea what this is from or what it is for. But it is NSFW and not for the squeamish or easily frightened.

Sorry about that. So here's a kitty watching Star Wars!

100% Meh: 100% Pure Red Wine Resveratrol Scrub and Mask

2012-02-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

Cindy

I'm a girl who prefers to use anything natural when she can. I don't make my own face scrub or conditioner or cleaning products, but I have been known to slather my head in olive oil (and lately the wonder stuff, coconut oil).

Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find good, natural products. I've looked around at both my local health food store and Target and been unable to find much of anything in the way of facial scrubs. But, after reading Tamatha's plea for us to ditch the apricot scrub we all seem to use, I went on a great Google hunt and came across a brand called 100% Pure.

When researching new products, if I find something that sounds interesting, I also try to look for product reviews. 100% Pure had a few good reviews out there, but most of them seemed to be of their Organic Coffee Bean Caffeine Eye Cream (which I'll also be reviewing). After looking over the brand's several scrubs, it was the Super Fruits Scrub and Mask that I most wanted to try, but the item was out of stock--both on their own site and others. An email inquiry as to restocking time was never answered, so I decided to try the Red Wine scrub.

I received my order fairly quickly and was excited to try the scrub, hoping I'd finally found an apricot replacement. The scrub really does seem more like a creamy cleanser or mask than a scrub--the jojoba beads meant to do the exfoliating are few and far between. If you are looking for a more gentle scrub, this one would do the trick, but I can't say that I'm sure it actually does anything at all. After several days of use, my skin (which tends to be sensitive) started breaking out, and to be honest, I am not a fan of the product's creaminess. So for me, this one is a big meh. I can't recommend it highly, nor can I say there's something terribly wrong with it. But I guess the most telling sign of my review is that I'm back on the apricot stuff. Le sigh.

I give this scrub a positively boring four tentacles.

Rating: 4/8 tentacles

It's Still February, Did You Hear?

2012-02-29T07:54:00.000-05:00

Pink McLadybits

Kohl's has 20% off everything with code SAVE20. Get free shipping when you spend $29.

Banana Republic has 29% off full-priced items. Code BRLEAPYEAR.

6PM has up to 75% off luggage, totes, and garment bags.

Perry Ellis has 40% off sale iems with code PESALE40.

Clinique lets you choose 3 makeup minis with any purchase.

Get 15% off your entire order at Old Navy. Use code ONSPRING.

Ulta Nail Prints: Here It Goes Again

2012-02-28T14:00:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Yes, yes. I am a sucker for all things easy and nail-related. Especially the notion of sticking on the polish and removing the dry time from the equation. I suppose I could help it, but I don't want to. I was getting my free item from Ulta for spending money there and while I was in line I noticed the awesome-looking Ulta Nail Prints in Skull. Even though they were $12, I snapped them up immediately.

I decided that they couldn't be any worse than Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips. They would have to totally refuse to stick to my nails and smell like dog poop to be worse than those. Lucky for me, neither of those things occurred while using the Ulta Nail Prints. Yay!

My nails were already free of polish and clean, so I didn't need to to mess with nail polish remover before using the nail prints. The kit came with the same type of nail file and cuticle stick as the Sally Hansen kits and the instructions were the same. The Nail Prints were easier to remove the protective film from and they were easier to maneuver as well. I was able to easily position the Prints and smooth them over my nails.

I folded the Prints under my nail tips to help them stay better and then used the cuticle stick to really help them adhere. I made a couple of mistakes and made a small bump in the Print, but since they're black with skulls on them it isn't really noticeable. I was quite pleased with my end result and went to bed. The next morning I expected to see ruined nails, full of pulled sections and missing strips. They were fine. No problems.

Truthfully, almost a week later, they still look pretty damn good. Sure, there are chips at the ends of my nails, but this is the longest a set of these has ever lasted. There have been no long stripes peeling off, no rips or tears while performing everyday tasks, and no loud cursing from me. The only trouble I really had was when I washed my hair the day after applying the Nail Prints. I had left a bit of a flap on a couple of nails, which is my own fault for choosing the sizes poorly, and ended up trimming them with cuticle scissors. Next time I will trim up the Prints before finishing the nails. I think that will be most helpful and allow me to even keep the tips free of chips for a longer period of time.

The Ulta Nail Prints aren't perfect, but I think that I can get an even better result with a second application of them. The price is a bit steep and a little crazy considering you can buy polish for less than that and get more mileage from it, but I think these are fun for special occasions or when you're tired of boring nails.

Rating: 6/8 tentacles

I'm Not Gonna Lie, You May Be Grossed Out Today

2012-02-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Above a urinal. She's got my vote!

Let's start off with a couple of links concerning lady parts, shall we? Even if you don't want to, too bad! I HAVE THE POWER. Ahem.

I've seen sites with penises in costume so it is only right that there is now a site that shows breasts in costumes. NSFW. (via The Mary Sue)

Breasts are amazingly versatile and generally win the costume contests that they enter. Unfortunately, ovaries and uteruses and all of the things that cause us to ride the cotton pony monthly are less fun. But maybe all of the pain, fatigue, and cravings are trying to tell us something? (The Great Fitness Experiment)

Maybe next time the Crimson Tide comes a knockin' you can whip up a batch of these broccoli bites instead of eating a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips. They have cheese in them! (Food Renegade)

Have you heard? There may soon be a Sons of Anarchy video game. I suppose it could be fun, though I suspect it will be terrible, like most games based on movies/television. Speaking of which, here are 18 video games based on television shows. Someone had on their Bad Idea Jeans. (Topless Robot)

These are much better ideas, however. They are some truly stunning pieces of superhero art. I especially like the Catwoman fetus. ADORABLE! (Web Urbanist)

Were those too creepy? Sorry about that. Perhaps you would prefer some gorgeous photos taken in space instead. (Space)

As you ponder the infinite void of space, perhaps you are also wondering what would happen if a chupacabra broke into a church and drank all of the holy water. You weren't? Huh. Maybe my brain is too much like Little Kid's. (Ashley Quite Frankly)

You've seen the Peeps Diorama Contest before, right? RIGHT? Well, if you haven't then it's time you've begun! (The Washington Post)

Speaking of getting begun, I know that Valentine's Day is over. I know. But I also think it pays to be prepared for next year. You're welcome! (Jacquie Longlegs)

Maybe you'd like to go ahead and get prepared for Halloween too. You could use this to go as a zombie stripper or just a plain old zombie whore! (The Art of Bleeding)

That was totally gross, yes? This will make you happy again, before I crush you with another nasty link. Behold the pothole gardens of east London! (Laughing Squid)

That reminds me of the episode of Doctor Who that had Moaning Myrtle in it. That one was alright. This though? AMAZING! (Geek Crafts)

I also leave you with this link to Billboards on Sunset in the 70s. They are awesome! (Flikr)

Have you wondered what The Avengers would look like as a silent film? Wonder no more!

Shower Like It's Your Birthday: Philosophy Birthday Cake Shower Gel

2012-02-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

Rusty

One of the great things about being part of Sephora’s Beauty Insider program is that you get free little birthday gifts every year. I realize it’s a ploy to get me to buy stuff by forcing me to come to the store to pick up my gift or forcing me to order online to get them to ship it (since you can just ship the free gift alone) but I’m pretty much pro-free things in all aspects of my life and occasionally have the willpower to leave my local Sephora with nothing but my present. Occasionally.

This past year the free gift was Philosphy’s Vanilla Birthday Cake bath and shower gel and I only recently got around to using it.

First the scent; while it doesn’t smell as strongly of cake as their Red Velvet bath and shower gel, it does smell like vanilla in a nice subtle way. It’s pleasant rather than overpowering, which I appreciate out of scented shower gels. The gel has a satiny quality to it and is very thick. I’m down to about half the bottle now and it takes a little time for it to flow down towards the cap to get it onto my shower pouf. It also results in a thick lather which is very nice.

While I haven’t used it as a bubble bath or a shampoo, I could definitely see potential for the bubble bath use. The thick gel and lather seem to me like they’d make nice bubbles in the tub and the scent would be lovely in that context as well. I’m not buying it as much as a shampoo, but I suppose I can’t knock it till I’ve tried it. As a body wash, I like it. It seems effective without being overly drying and the scent doesn’t seem to cling too much so you don’t have to worry about it interfering with perfume, scented body lotion, or deodorants.

My skin during winter is always dry, but this body wash doesn’t make it any drier than it would be otherwise if that makes sense. I love the scent, and the satisfyingly thick lather so I’m rating this a 7 out of 8. And I’ll get back to you on the shampoo part.

Rating: 7/8 tentacles

Free Pancakes! And Other Stuff. FREE PANCAKES!

2012-02-28T07:58:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

The Body Shop has an extra 29% off site-wide in honor of leap year. Use code LEAPYEAR.

Kohl's is having a 2-Day Sale and 99 cent standard shipping per item.

Chinese Laundry is also celebrating that extra day this month with 15% off your entire purchase. Use code LEAP15.

Today is Free Pancake Day at IHOP.

Buy.com has the complete Daria animated series on DVD for $17.99 and free shipping.

Get the e.l.f. Collections 153-piece Master Makeup Collection and Brush Set for $22.95 + $6.95 shipping. Use code SD153. They also have a free $20 Mystery Bag with any $20 purchase and code LEAP. Four lucky winners will get $100 in e.l.f. gift cards in their bag!

Pinky's Picks For Oscar Best And Worst

2012-02-27T14:00:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Oh, Oscars! You always fall right around my birthday and I watch you nearly every year. Every year I am bored, nervous, annoyed, giggly, and awed by the outfits celebrities parade around in. This year was no different. I laughed at Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis with their cymbals and I tittered at Christopher Guest and company (FLYING MONKEYS!). I was ridiculously bored with hot Billy Crystal, finding him wasted with cheesy jokes and idiotic montages. I was crushed by Michelle Williams and Gary Oldman losing in their respective categories and delighted by the only win for the Muppets Movie.

The best part, however, is checking out and eviscerating the dresses when necessary. There were many time that it was very necessary. Can I just say that I HATE the trend of wearing boring white, plain black, nudes, beiges, and other no-colors? Because I really, really do. ONTO THE DRESSES! (All names link back to People Magazine, where I found the photos)

Sandra Bullock

I know that I hate the severe hairstyle. That ponytail only works with certain outfits and this isn't one of them. I was unsure at first about this dress. I feel like the bottom is quite flattering to Sandy and I like the gold detail at the waist. I even like the draping of the top. The best part is the back of the dress, giving it an Old Hollywood Glamour look without being overly revealing. I like it!

Gwyneth Paltrow

Listen, with the cape/coat on this dress makes her look like a Cult Leader. And the cult is definitely called The Order Of The High Goop Priestess Of Being Better Than You. I hated the dress with the cape on, absolutely. Then when Gwyneth and RDJ presented together and she had shed her Koresh Kape, I could see just how well it really fit her. It's a great shape and fits her beautifully. I only wish it came in some sort of color other than white.

Cameron Diaz

Oh look! Another colorless dress on the red carpet. I feel like the dress is beautiful but the color makes it boring. This would have been simply amazing in a jewel tone that would have really made Cameron's skin pop. Instead we get this flesh-tone and shitty hair. Really, Cameron? You went with that hair? It's these kinds of decisions that put you in movies like The Green Hornet.

Penelope Cruz

This is amazing. This photo doesn't really do justice to just how exquisite she looked on that red carpet. Someone referred to her in our chat as "Spanish Grace Kelly". Definitely! She looks polished and regal and didn't choose a boring flesh tone or shade of beige. The blue works really well for her and the low-key jewelry serves the dress well. I really adored this look last night.

Sherri Shepherd

How did you get here? Put your breasts away and get out. Oh, and thanks for wearing that amazing blue. Too bad it's such an ugly dress.

Natalie Portman

This is another simple dress with a pop of color and an unexpected pattern that I really liked. Thankfully, Natalie went fairly simple with her accessories, letting the shape of the dress really shine.

Emma Stone

We adore Emma Stone. This dress? Not so much. The color is amazing! Her hair, makeup, and jewelry are outstanding! The cut of the dress and the way it flowed around her when she walked were gorgeous. The neck-eating bow was unfortunately distracting and just a bit too much for what would have been an otherwise perfect outfit. But we still adore Emma Stone, especially after her little presenter skit. "JONAH! DANCE WITH ME!"

Jennifer Lopez

TRY SOMETHING NEW. We've seen this hair, styling, and similar dress EVERY PLACE YOU EVER GO. Shit, you wear stuff like this on American Idol. BORING. And I saw your areola or your nipple. BOOB TAPE. Or maybe just don't come to the Oscars next year. Let's go with that.

Tina Fey

Oh, Tina. I'll forgive you the weird second skirt at the waist area. I'll forgive you that hair. But I cannot and will not forgive this boring color. TRY YELLOW. Damn, TRY ORANGE. I don't care! WEAR A FUCKING COLOR THAT YOU CAN'T FIND IN A GOTH'S CLOSET!

Anna Faris

It was either Cindy or Figgy that called this one: shiny garbage bag. Yep. It fits like a mother of the bride dress and it shines like a wet garbage bag in the glow of a street light. Nope. Do not like.

Gary Oldman

HE WAS ROBBED! And he looks DELICIOUS.

Kristen Wiig

I tried. I tried to come up with something witty to say about the hideousness that is this dress and this color on Wiig. I can't. It washes her out and the color is like tea-stained teeth. Sigh.

Glenn Close

Great color on her, boring hair, TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET. It's cool. You can show your arms. It would have taken this dress from pretty good to FUCK YEAH, GLENN CLOSE! Trust me. I pretend to know these things.

Rooney Mara

Listen, I want everyone to say it with me: this is not Lisbeth Salander. She just played her in a movie. She isn't really edgy, nor is she punk. She's just a fair to middling actress that was able to take her ability to dye her hair black and get a bad haircut and some piercings and parlay it into a role that got her nominated. I haven't seen the US version of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, so I can't speak to her abilities in that role. I can say that I've seen her other movies and found her to be forgettable and her line delivery to be as exciting as standing in line at the DMV. But I am so tired of people thinking that she is Lisbeth. She is not. And this dress sucks. Her sister, Kate Mara, looked amazing, though.

Michelle Williams

I don't care what anyone says, I absolutely adore Michelle Williams. She can do no wrong in my eyes. I even liked her rain cloud dress at the Oscars luncheon! I really love this dress. The tier at the waist is less distracting than Tina Fey's because it isn't as big, or at least doesn't appear to be. She also has the gorgeous color of the dress going for her, making her skin glow all the more. Her pixie cut allows her face to be the focus and her makeup takes advantage of that. She kept her accessories simple and surprising and I feel like she was really the best dressed, tied with Chastain.

Maya Rudolph

The dress may not be anything spectacular but I love the color on Maya. I also love that you can tell how sexy and beautiful she felt in that dress and it makes her look even better to everyone else. I think the cascade of curls was a good choice as well. Just lovely.

Viola Davis

This emerald green is so stunning on her. The dress isn't all that amazing, but the gorgeous jewel tone made me focus on it instead of the cut of the bodice. Viola was stunning and her huge smile and the way she carried herself told everyone that she knew she was looking great. I also love her hair!

Shailene Woodley

"Hello, I'm Loretta Lynn. I was boooorned a coal miner's daughter, in a cabin on a hill in Butcher's Holler...."

Jessica Chastain

Soft hair. Soft makeup. Minimal jewelry. BAM! Amazing dress that fits her perfectly. And Jessica Chastain was hilarious and adorable with interviewers. I think I love her now.

Melissa McCarthy

I was so sad that Melissa McCarthy didn't win. I did like this dress, though. So much better than the Emmy dress. This one fit her better and has such nice neckline and waistline accents. The color is soft but lovely and only adds to her skin's glow. My only gripe is with the sleeves. I wish she hadn't had the sleeves on. It's okay to show your arms, honey. You're beautiful and talented and I wanna see your arms!

Penelope Ann Miller

Bad color. Boring. Just not exciting in any way.

Oscars, Cosplay, Pepsi, and MAGIC!

2012-02-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

Kolby and Pinky

Happy Monday, dearies. I hope you're enjoying your Oscars hangover. I wonder how many Academy Awards-related links I can jam in today. Let's see!

To start us off, here's E!'s recap of the night's winners, losers and unexpected moments. (E! Online)

I'm positively tickled by Eric Wilson's cranky take on last night's red carpet fashion, and especially by his opinion of Rooney Mara, whose entire look generally bewilders me. (The New York Times)

How did you meet your significant other? One Redditor (in the comments) has a story that might make your day. (Reddit)

We all know it's important to apologize when we've done something wrong, but how well does "I'm sorry: really work? (Live Science)

Just when I think I've given too much consideration to the many MANY flaws in the Star Wars Saga, I read an ingenius post like this, and I realize I haven't given it much consideration after all. Score! (Absolutely No Machete Juggling)

Teller, of Penn and Teller, explains just how simple it is for magicians to fool our weak little minds. (BoingBoing)

Would any of you ladies propose marriage to the man in your life (if you actually wanted to marry him, that is), or is the marriage proposal still the man's "job"? (The Daily Mail)

Today's Google-A-Day Puzzle is aimed at movie nerds. Enjoy! (Wired)

Apparently there was a MegaCon recently. Please enjoy these Cosplay photos. I know I did! (flickr)

Two Twitter accounts for body parts were spawned from last night's Oscars: Angelina Jolie's Right Leg and JLo's Nipple.

What did people do before television, with its nipple slips, mockable poses, and overlong award ceremonies? Well, public executions for one. (mental floss)

People probably also talked to each other back in the day. I actually talked to someone yesterday, about our mutual hatred for Pepsi. Even knowing about these other flavors, I stand by my tastebuds and their refusal to enjoy a Pepsi. (via Neatorama)

Jimmy Kimmel had a special show right after the Oscars last night that included this trailer for Movie: The Movie.

Do you remember the Portal/This Is Halloween song? Now we have The Wheatley Song!

This Hippie Doesn't Stink: Saje Natural Wellness African Heart Perfume Solid

2012-02-27T09:00:00.002-05:00

Replica

Okay. Let’s just get this out in the open right from the get-go. I live in Vancouver, BC Canada. Home of Lululemon, yoga, quinoa cookies and un-ironic use of patchouli. When I say I am reviewing a product labeled as a ‘natural fragrance’ from my town let me be clear – the battlefield is littered with shredded hemp sarongs, 100-mile diet organic compostables, and a heap of ‘Vegans Do It Better’ fair-trade cotton t’s.

When I walked into Saje Natural Wellness store in Kitsilano with my Mom (who is a fanatical devotee of this company’s sleep products – which reek of such pungent low-level harmonically pounding sub-scents that you double bag the containers and STILL whiff them from across the house and go – whoo!!!) I was hoping only to make it out of there before I passed out from the sensory assault.

The store has your basic high-end essential oil rack, a series of skin care products, bath and body products and natural healing remedies scattered attractively througout the store. It’s actually delightful – I’ve just done too much time contemplating the Green Crystal Healing Light with my family and occasionally get a weird hipster reaction against it all.

Now to the product – I stepped over to the solid perfumes due to a complete fascination with the whole physical feel and checked out the African Heart Perfume Solid, LuLu Love Perfume Solid, and Sudanese Spirit Perfume Solid. The other versions were too depthy, or too spicy for me, but something about this African Heart absolutely captured me and pretty much generated an instant sale.

I like the scents of amber, bergamot, cedar, vanilla and sandalwood – if that helps orient you to the types of base my nose goes for. I find the African Heart to smell quite like a warm, slightly minty, and very mildly spicy amber feel. Of course, it has none of that actually in its ingredients.

Here’s the product description from the site:

“An all natural, wonderfully moisturizing perfume solid made from sustainably sourced pure Virgin Sudanese Shea Butter. In a convenient, travel friendly, easy to apply container. Luxurious and florally fragrant, with essential oils of Jasmine and Frankincense.”

Ok. Sure. I just know that I am absolutely addicted to it, it’s only ten dollars for a compact purse keeper, and will literally last me for my entire life long. The scent also doesn’t last for a billion years, softening from a light but clear tone nicely into a faint aura along my pulse point after about 15 minutes, and that makes me very happy. I swear I am wearing it just for me alone.

Scent can be very arbitrary, but it’s their strongest seller and rightly so. I can recommend both this product and the general high quality of the other products I’ve purchased here. 7/8 tentacles to account for different tastes.

Rating: 7/8 tentacles

Wake Up! The Oscars Are Finally Over!

2012-02-27T07:58:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Wasserstrom (restaurant supplies) has 50% off clearance items with code 50%CLEARANCE.

Sears has a motorized iPod Speaker Dock for $19.99.

Clinique has free shipping plus a Repairwear Intensive Eye Cream Mini with any $30 purchase and code REPAIRWEAR.

Clarins has a free gift with $50 purchase and code FIRM.

Origins has a free 3 week supply of Modern Friction and free standard shipping with any skincare purchase. Use code LIFT.

Kohl's has an extra 25% off clearance items, no code needed, and 15% off selected prom dresses, shoes, and handbags with code MYPROM15.

Avon has a free Genics Eye sample with select Anew purchases.

MetroStyle has 15% off your entire order of $65 or more with code MS39291.

It's Friday. Try To Contain Your Excitement.

2012-02-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

Kolby

I don't know, man. That was the first image to pop up when I searched for "Friday." I'm not saying I love it, I'm just saying....I'll have what she's having? Oh, just check out the links.

For those of you who loved everything about the Harry Potter book series but the lack of sex, here's a bit of good news: J.K. Rowling has decided to write her first adult book. Adult means more sex, right? I need to know...for a friend. (E! Online)

Here's one more reason why I'll always love Timmy Tebow, though I'm sure I didn't need another one. (Yahoo Sports)

This is a sweet little story - Leonardo DiCaprio helped the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences obtain one of the four existing pairs of ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz for their new museum. Awwww. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Easily pronounced names apparently make people seem more likeable. I'm not sure if that's a reflection of the cleverness of a person's parents in choosing an easy-to-pronounce name for their child, or of the laziness or stupidity of anyone unable to learn to pronounce a more difficult name than Sally. (Wired)

If you're interested in cooking but can't quite seem to turn out a successful meal, check out these tips for addressing the most common kitchen mistakes. (Cooking Light)

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a flying infant! (PetaPixel)

And here's a recipe for Corn Dog Mini Muffins. I'm speechless...mostly because of the drool. I loooove corn dogs. (That's Nerdalicious!)

People who dress up their dogs are weird. People who dress up their cats, on the other hand, tend toward brilliance. You can't make this stuff up. (Laughing Squid)

These before and after photos of the devastation caused by last year's earthquake and tsunami in Japan with awe and sadden you. (The Atlantic)

I'm thinking about going back to school to get a teaching degree, but only because I'm absolutely dying to use this stamp. (io9)

Adele's gone and rewarded herself for her much-deserved success with a fancy new house. And I do mean fancy, folks. (Evil Beet)

I admit to not watching The Simpsons in several years, so I had no idea that the show's 500th episode aired this past Sunday. For those of you who did watch, here's the opening reel for that episode, in slow motion.

I can guarantee this clip will make your day. I know it's Friday and it probably wouldn't take much to make even the most cynical asshole smile on a Friday, but trust me, this video will make you feel a little happier. Enjoy the weekend!

Oscar FEVER! Let's Play Dress Up!

2012-02-24T09:00:00.001-05:00

We here at Hot Ink love the Oscars. Every year, Pajiba Ladies choose dresses that we would wear if we were at the ceremony. It's fun and you can always lament that you would have looked so much hotter in that Marchesa than OldWhatsHerFace did when she arrived in your dress. Since we totally have a platform now to inflict our dress choices and odd fascination with the Academy Awards on others, we decided that it was crucial to do so. Feel free to play along and post your dream dress in the comments!

Also, on Oscar night we will be watching and commenting over at Pajiba while Courtney live-blogs the ceremony. Come for the reactions to red carpet looks, stay for people being super-pissed if Jonah Hill wins an Oscar!

Pinky

When I saw this Armani Prive dress on Style.com I knew that it was The One. Some lovely green to go with my awesome red hair? Check. A little off-beat while still being a beautiful gown that would look amazing on the red carpet? CHECK. I love the texture of the gown, the colors, and the way it drapes around the midsection and across the bodice. It allows for a great shape while also hiding any tummy bump you may or may not have. I adore it and I am sure that my Imaginary Husband John Krasinski will find me ravishing in it!

Maybe we'll see Amy Adams or someone else in it on the Red Carpet.

Peffy

Peffy isn't a Hot Inker, but she is One Of Us. She chose this striking orange gown by Versace. It's a real show-stopper and I can only hope that if someone chooses to wear this on the carpet they will be sure to properly accessorize. Because now we all know how it should look. No chunky black shoes or ratty loose hair, ladies - the gold shoes in this photo are absolutely perfect! I'd like to see Nicole Kidman in this one (ahem...has she done any movies lately?).

Innernet

Innernet went Old School Hollywood with this gorgeous gown by Elie Saab. Can you not see her swooping down the carpet giving coy answers to the yelling reporter mob? With the proper hair (no messy tresses) and shoes, this will be another knockout. Innernet will be bringing Ryan Gosling as her date. Or Paul Newman. Either one. OR BOTH!
This dress seems like Michelle Williams or possibly Mila Kunis could pull this off with grace and class.

Figgy

Figgy chose a Dior and date Jon Hamm. Figgy usually (usually? More like ALWAYS) hates all good things, but choosing Hamm and this gorgeous red gown are two very good things. (I hope Martha Stewart doesn't sue us.) I could see Anne Hathaway on the red carpet in this one, though I would be surprised if she went with red. This also seems more Old Hollywood, with a fitted bodice, and structured, hoop-like skirt; Figgy would strut down that red carpet very much like Scarlett O'Hara with Hamm Rhett Butler-ing it up with the press, frankly, giving a damn.

Rusty

Rusty chose Dior. I think that Cate Blanchett would pull this off. Rooney Mara might like the feminine mixed with dark colors with her newfound "edgy" style. I just hope no one ruins it with bad hair or too many accessories.

Julie

This amazing dress is from the Tom and Lorenzo Burberry collection. Our lovely friend Julie thinks that this olive colour isn't bold enough and would prefer a jewel tone in either emerald or sapphire. I can't argue with that, even though I, Metric Jenn: One Whose Opinion Is Always Right, think that the olive is stunning. Julie does have impeccable taste in design - the long draping elegance is perfect for the Oscars and the accessory of a certain Mr. Joe Manganiello will make everyone's heads turn on the red carpet.

MelBivDevoe

Elie Saab strikes again! Mel chose this deep blue sheer-covering-gold-bodice as her red carpet look. That colour is just breath-taking and romantic. And Mel has just the perfect hair to compliment this look. It is very similar to Innernet's choice, but with striking differences. The mid-section on Mel's choice is less edgy and more complimentary of the romantic feel. The gown has more fabric as well, giving it more flow. But who would she like on her arm for a date?? Who would be good enough for our MelBivDevoe?

Metric Jenn

Alexander McQueen, Pre-Fall 2012 - I chose this gown because of its classic bodice with a modern structured gown. The pattern is reminiscent of a romantic Victorian floral pattern, yet it is created with broad strokes giving this pattern a modern flair. I would have my hair up, like the model's in this picture. The colour would be a deep brown/auburn to compliment the dress. As for jewelry, a bracelet and earrings, leaving my neck bare because I think that collar bones on women are delicate and sexy. My date would be required to touch my clavicle. And since my date is Alexander Skarsgård, this is completely acceptable.

Ask Ink: Face Cleaning For Lazy People!

2012-02-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

So what's the thought on makeup wipes in general? I can see how in [some] case[s] they don't cut it. But I use them all the time instead of other cleansers. Should I or no?

Well, I am not an expert on the various arts of cleaning one's face, but I to tend to drift toward the simplest solution for most things. For me that means makeup wipes. (Or it did before I tried the oil-cleansing method.)

Makeup wipes are the lazy person's dream. They already have the right amount of cleanser built in! They don't need soaped up or moistened, at least most of them don't. They don't drip all over the place and when you are done, you toss them in the trash. Easy!

As for how well they work, I have personally been very happy with Target's up & up brand wipes that are supposed to be comparable to the higher priced facial wipes. I had on full Poison Ivy makeup, with lots of deep and crazy greens, and was able to get it all off with their makeup wipes. I was very pleased. I didn't have to scrub my face raw, I didn't need to dirty three or four wash cloths, and I didn't have to worry about green dripping from my face in a sea of cleanser bubbles.

In general, makeup wipes are a great alternative to messy facial cleansers and a quick way to wipe that makeup off before jumping into bed. As long as you pay attention to the types of makeup wipes you purchase and use the proper facial moisturizer after, I don't see any downside to using makeup wipes as part of your daily routine.

Friday Means PARTY TIME! Or Sleeping.

2012-02-24T07:45:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Bath and Body Works has 20% off any purchase with code ENJOY20.

Puma has up to 70% their selection.

ESPIRIT has 50% off the entire store with code FEBSALE4.

The Body Shop has a Buy More, Save More deal. 10% off 1 item, 20% off 2 items, 30% off 3 items, 40% off 4 items, and 50% off 5 items.

Get 5 deluxe free samples with any $45 or more order at Lancome. Use code FEBDLUX.

Dillard's has 40% off sale items online only with no code needed.

ULTA has free shipping with any $25 purchase and code SHIPFEB12. Save $3.50 off any $10 or more purchase with code 76298.

Sometimes It Pays to Bitch: My Customer Service Adventures with Verizon

2012-02-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

MelBivDevoe

I've worked in customer service for longer than is probably healthy - going on 13 years now. In my many years, I've learned that one of the most important things for a customer service rep to do is to make sure the customer feels like they've been heard - that even if you can't help them, you're doing your best to make sure their problem is being addressed.

Acknowledging the complaint goes a long was towards customer retention and loyalty. This is a story about how Verizon managed to screw up our internet account - all on their own - and how their lack of basic customer service almost lost them two very loyal customers.

It all started on a normal Friday evening. We came home from work to discover that our internet service was down. We thought it might have been the weather affecting the line, or perhaps Verizon was having another outage. So we decided to wait it out through the weekend. Saturday and Sunday came and went and still no internet. Finally, my husband called on Monday to ask for a tech to come out and check the line. He got the standard "Is your modem plugged into your computer? Is your computer turned on?" spiel that reps have to ask to make sure they're not dealing with idiot customers. We're not idiots, so we had of course checked everything that we could on our end. Instead of promising to send a tech out, which would cost them time and money, we were told that they would check everything on their end and get back to us in 24 to 48 hours.

Verizon support - "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

72 hours went by and still no word from Verizon. Dear husband called back, slightly pissed that no one had responded when promised. He spent 4 hours on the phone. He was passed from tech support to account services to financial services and then back to tech support in a horrible game of customer hot potato. No department would take credit for the problem - each one simply told him it was another department's problem and would transfer him without hesitation. He didn't get any, "Oh, I'm sorry, let me see what I can do," or "Here's so-and-so, he'll be able to help you with this." Finally, someone in tech support told him the trouble must be on the line and he would have to have another tech look at it, but he swore he would do his best to make sure this tech got back to us within 24 hours.

And to our surprise, he did. With bad news. Our account had been shut off, despite the fact that we were actively using AND paying for it! We were advised that the easiest thing to do would be to start an entirely new internet service account, and it would take a day or two for it to be turned on once all the account stuff was settled. So we said fine, whatever, just take care of it!

JUST FIX IT ALREADY!

It had been a week with no internet at this point. I was pissed because I have a part-time job that I do from home and I hadn't been able to get my hours in for the week. I couldn't write any articles for Hot Ink. We couldn't log in to our financial websites and check our balances from home, which led to an embarrassing situation at the grocery store one night when we discovered we didn't have enough in one account to pay for our groceries. Even though we just had to transfer some money, that was rather humiliating - the people in line behind us probably thought we were deadbeats.

So another two days passed and the connection still wasn't on. My husband, who could quote Verizon's phone number from memory at this point, called again to find out what was the holdup. He was told a tech would come out the following Monday to help. The tech never showed, so he called again. And here's where we finally figured out the problem. We'd had a land line that we had shut off the previous year that apparently was never fully disconnected from our account. And we had new neighbors who moved into the building into the suite number that used to be ours until our landlord changed us to an apartment number. So... when the new neighbors called to set up their service, Verizon saw an internet service tied to a defunct land line, assumed we'd moved and never called to shut off our service (that we were PAYING FOR, duh, Verizon, it was being used!!!), and boom, disconnected our internet service.

The entire situation - from the land line never being detached to our address change never reaching the support department (although billing knew - of course they did, they wanted our money) to the line being shut off - was Verizon's fault. And we were LIVID. Because we didn't get any apologies from the service reps. No one admitted to any mistakes. We knew it was a big clusterf*ck of mistakes that no one individual was really to blame for - but we wanted to hear someone say "I'm sorry, I know this has been a problem for you, and we're doing everything we can to help." Because sometimes that is all the customer needs to hear to feel like their patronage is valued. We were loyal customers of Verizon for five years. And, damn it, we wanted them to know how we felt.

So I found a list of email addresses for the corporate officers of the company and I vented. I told them exactly what had happened. I made sure to include how my husband had to sacrifice a day of work and miss some of his classes to wait for a tech to come out who never showed as well as how the situation had impacted us financially (me missing my part-time job). I didn't expect to hear a response - I figured the emails would be deleted by administrative assistants. So imagine my surprise when I got a reply promising that an exec would look into the situation. Not only did he look into it, he actually called my husband to apologize and then promised us to credit our account for the time we'd lost as well as an additional month of credit for our troubles. AND he emailed me again to remind me to keep in touch once our bills come in so he can give us the promised credit.

We finally got our apology. It just took some (constructive) bitching on my part to get it. It never should have reached that point. Yes, we're getting credit, thanks to an exec who took up our complaint and promised to resolve it personally, but that was after 2 weeks of dealing with this mess. The impetus should be on the company to try to retain its customers. If a rep is unable to help, they should let us know they're going to contact someone to help us, not just shove us off on someone else and forget about us. At least, that's how a well-trained customer service rep would do it.

But perhaps Verizon sees customer retention as a waste of time and effort. Maybe they'd rather focus on getting new customers instead of rewarding the loyal ones. And if so, they're quite welcome to find two new customers, because after our credit is up, we have no qualms about looking for a new service provider if we can find one that values our loyalty (instead of just our money).

Every Girl Crazy 'Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man. Also, Flapjacks.

2012-02-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

Kolby

Yep, that's Ryan Gosling in pancake form. It's amazing what will appear when you type "Sexy Man Pancakes" into a Google image search. Ahem, please enjoy your Thursday links, won't you?

I howled from the beginning of this series of Robert Downey Jr. pinups photos to the end. You will, too. I just know it. (Octupus' Garden)

It doesn't matter how lame your party is if you've got mad photoshop skillz. (Holiday Party 2011 - imgur)

Nicolas Cage makes movies. Lots and lots of movies. One blogger decided to rank Cage's movies, from best to worst, using a few choice statistics. Check out the results. (HubPages)

This may be my new favorite Tumblr. Photos of trends in menswear paired with dangerously delicious looking food? Why the hell not? (Coffee & the Newspaper)

Don't blame me if these beautiful photographs of Olympic National Park bring such peace to your day that you doze a bit at your desk. No one is making you click on these links, you know. (Love These Pics)

Good news! Men don't seem to be facing eventual extinction after all. This is good news, right? (Medical Daily)

The New York Metropolitan Transit Authority is selling off old wooden subway benches. If I had $650 to spare, I might buy one for my foyer, though I'd think twice about telling guests where it came from. (Mother Nature Network)

Lawmakers in Arizona have decided it's a good idea to force college students to contribute to their educations out of their own pockets, citing statistics that since college graduates make more money in the long run than people without a degree, they should be able to pay at least part of their own way through school. Sure, college grads make more money...when there are actual jobs to be had after graduation. I mean, really, this irks me to no end. (MSNBC)

Here's today's Google-A-Day Puzzle. Feel the burn. (Wired)

Do you think you could meet the No Spend Day Challenge? I'm going to give it a try. Should be easy, since I have no money to spend. (Frugal Dad)

Julia Roberts wasn't the first Hooker with a Heart of Gold to be nominated for an Oscar. Here are the thirteen actresses who've won Academy Awards for portraying prostitutes. (Neatorama)

Looking for an inventive way of letting your family know you're expecting a little bundle of joy? Simply leaving out your (secretly, and creepily) personalized Target coupon booklets might do the job for you. (Forbes)

People around the world seem to agree on the best ways to live a healthy life. Now if we can get off our asses and actually do these things, we'll be cooking with gas. (Good Magazine)

Here's a Love Letter to New York, written in classic photographs. (LIFE)

Needless to say, these resumes won't impress most employers, but they sure are pretty to look at. (Colour Lovers)

Let's face it, men really do want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets...or something like that. To prove it, here are five random guys letting us know the kinky things they'd like to see happening in their bedrooms...and elsewhere. (Glamour)

Watch and learn, fellas. Watch and...probably sigh loudly several times, ladies.

And, last but not least, here's Chris Cornell performing a lovely rendition of "I Will Always Love You." It's not perfect, but it's true. I may have had a little crush on Mr. Cornell in high school. Aaaaanyway, enjoy your Thursday!

Shielo Leave In Protectant: My Hair's New Bodyguard

2012-02-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

Metric Jenn

Full disclosure: Shielo provided me with a 118ml sample to review. Had I not liked the product, there would have been no review written.

Aaaaaannnnnndd IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always looooooooove yooouuuuuOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

You know you all should be grateful that this is a written review rather than a video one; you were all spared. Especially your ears. However, Whitney Houston's epic love ballad is incredibly fitting here. It's like I'm Kevin Costner, but with real hair. Long, curly, healthy, shiny, luxurious hair.

Shielo's Leave In Protectant boasts UV protection, organic extracts, antioxidants, and being paraben free. The UV protection and antioxidants are from white tea, and shea butter provides a moisture protectant. I'm sure that means something to people who are smart and know chemistry n' science. But for the lowly medieval history grad, alls I know is that it works wonders on my hair.

Being that I got this sample, I really wanted to give it a fair shake - no rush angry judgments or clamoring to kiss a company's ass. I used Shielo's Leave In Protectant as per the instructions on the bottle: "Mist throughout clean, towel-dried hair. For best colo(u)r protection, comb through to ends to deeply preserve." Aside from sounding kind of like a haiku, these instructions were clearly easy to follow.

As you know, my hair is naturally curly, dry, and I dyed it about 6 weeks ago. These two factors mean that my hair is currently not in its best shape. After using the Leave In Protectant for 4 days straight, there was a noticeable difference in texture and a reduction in frizziness. Granted, it didn't eliminate fly-aways completely, but it absolutely helped out a lot. It even made it easier for me to run a comb through my hair.

As for colour protection, I cannot say definitively, as my hair dye had faded long before I started using this product. Regardless, for $19.99 for a 4 fl. oz. (118ml) bottle, it is an investment; but an investment I will start making. I absolutely do not mind the price for this product simply because it delivered on its promise. And it is a small price to pay for high self-esteem.

Or are you still jealous that you lost “best hair” to me in high school and got “dorkiest”?

All said and done, I'm giving this product a 7/8 tentacles. It is one tentacle short of perfection due to price - it may not be attainable for those on a budget.

I Found So Many Deals For You. It Is CRAZY!

2012-02-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

Pinky McLadybits

Kohl's has 15% off everything with code LEAPYR15.

Newport News is having a $5 sale!

Woot! Off! is still going strong!

Get 2 free rentals at RedBox with codes LUVREDBOX and HAPPY1.

Get a 3 piece Stila Makeup set from Amerimark for $2.26 plus shipping.

Get Season 1 of Game of Thrones from Best Buy for $34.99. Choose Stark or Targaryen covers.

Nordstrom has prom dresses up to 55% off. Of course, you don't have to buy the dresses for prom. Maybe for a night of drankin' instead! SUIT UP!

Kate Spade has 50% off selected items and free shipping.

Macy's Fresh Start Sale has up to 75% off select items. Use code XJW562A992 for $10 off $75. Get an extra 15% off in select departments with code STYLE.

Get 30% off your order at Gap with code GAPSPRING.

Use code FIRM at Clarins to get a free gift with your $50 purchase.

At e.l.f., Buy One Get One Free of Achelle's Picks! Use code BOGO.

Gone But Not Forgotten: Men Of Yore We're Lusting For

2012-02-22T14:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you have to look to the past. You have to see that there was hotness all around, even when there wasn't any color in our movies. You have to say, "Man, if that guy wasn't dead, I would so want a piece." For me, James Dean is just hotness.

I adore watching him, frustrated and angsty, troubled and struggling to find a place for himself in Rebel Without A Cause. He had presence. He had a smoldering sexiness that couldn't be denied. He was beautiful and talented and taken too soon.

If you're in heaven, James, and blissfully not aging, know that I'm grabbing that ass when I get there. wink - Pinky

Heath Ledger

I’ve spoken many times of the effect that the movie 10 Things I Hate About You had on me when I was a teenager, but one of the lasting effects was to leave me with a serious crush on Heath Ledger. He might not have been the prettiest actor around, or the most fit, but he had a charm and presence about him that was hard to ignore. And the fact that he wasn’t model pretty made him seem more… attainable in some way. He looked like a great looking regular guy, not someone who existed on another plane where everyone wore designer clothing and no one ate hamburgers the way some actors do. And then he died. It’s the first and only celebrity death that’s really shaken me, and even though it was years ago I’m still sad that I’ll never see him on the big screen again. - Rusty

Kurt Cobain

Kurt Cobain. Musician, lyricist, and poet. The voice of a disenfranchised generation. Those are the words and image most people associate with Kurt Cobain. Me, however, as soon as I hear one of his songs, or think about Seattle...BAM. Piercing blue eyes (MY GOD, THOSE EYES) with a bemused expression from under a mop of disheveled blonde hair. I had such a thing for bad boys when I was younger; and he embodied the melancholy of youth and feeling of directionlessness that I had constantly. We all knew he was going to die young, by his hand or someone else's; but I still look at pictures and marvel at how his gaze can mesmerize me and make me wish I were a roadie slut back in 1991. - MetricJenn

Clark Gable

He was Rhett Butler. Do you really need more than that? Oh, fine. While he may not have been the most handsome man around, the guy oozed charisma and sex appeal. It was the way he looked at his leading ladies, the way he carried himself, the wicked smile. They just don't make them like that anymore. - Figgy

Gene Kelly

If I had to hone in on one man only, there is absolutely no question that I would choose the seethingly masculine, fluidly graceful, perpetually good-natured and unfailingly passionate, Gene Kelly.

I cannot help but objectify his beautiful eyes, his award winning grin, his mouthwatering Atlas chest, his perfect thighs…but it is in the fullest articulation of all of these physical elements – whether in a quiet ballet, an athletic and upbeat tap performance, or a slow burn contemporary tango (do yourself a favor and click here ) – that the remarkable beauty and fullest masculine qualities of his shine through.

I look at his face and watch how he moved (and OH! Dat Ass!) and confess that I cannot imagine a more appealing man. He's out of reach to me now, and more’s the pity. - Replica