ONE MORE SERVING

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

2012-05-15T00:07:00.001-04:00

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT...IT'S A BOOK!

The long awaited FINDING YOUR FIRE has finally arrived.
Weighing in at about 9oz. with a bright shiny new cover. Author and "baby" are both doing well, considering.

If you have followed ONE MORE SERVING, please, please stop and say hi at the new BLOG
and visit me at http://kathybrunner.com

There is so much more on the new web site and I would love to re-connect with all my followers there.

If you ever had an idea, inspiration, goal or dream and wish you could just get started, come see
FINDING YOUR FIRE.

READ THE BOOK... START SOMETHING...JOIN THE TRAILBLAZER MOVEMENT.

SHIPPING AND HANDLING IS FREE through May 18

Come visit on FACEBOOK and tell me what you think

THRIVE

2012-01-16T10:53:00.000-05:00

"But it's a pineapple plant,"my husband admonished, "It isn't meant to survive the winter." He stood holding a pathetically looking floppy palm I had planted from a pineapple eaten earlier this summer. Just a few days ago it was on my front porch looking every bit the way a pineapple plant was meant to, however I had forgotten to take it inside during one of the nights when temperatures sneaked unexpectedly below freezing.

Image via Wikipedia

Now my plant looked a little lifeless and if it had feelings probably in shock and disappointment because someone who had not forgotten to water and fertilize it all Summer and Fall and simply disregarded its existence when she was no longer spending time curled up with a book or some other activity on the porch.

Image via Wikipedia

I gave it water and put it in a place where it will get wonderful sunshine even if the outdoor temperatures are not creeping upward and today it looks better than yesterday and I suspect with a little love and care it will be back to its tropical self in a few weeks.

I can't help but think how much of our lives are like that pineapple's. We nurture and take care of the things that matter and then sometimes we just forget to pay attention to something we once enjoyed. This is especially true of the things that bring us joy and pleasure;things that allow us time to rejuvenate our lives and put them in perspective. They may be our hobbies or the causes that get us fired up or instinctively bring out our best gifts.

One of my friends shared that she had long forgotten how much see enjoyed collecting children's books since her own children are grown. Then she discovered a favorite book she used to read to her brood in a book store and decided to begin a collection for her grandchildren. She is enthusiastically invested in finding the parts of her past she loved and passing it along to someone else. I also know a man who used to love to do stand up comedy but long ago gave it up to take a job in corporate American and raise a family. After attending a theater performance recently, he decided to join a theater group and is getting ready for his first comedy gig later this Spring. He told me he feels enthusiastic about life in a way he hadn't imagined his return to performing would create. He still has a day job, but now he has a day joy as well.

I started this blog over two years ago sharing the stories of people who lived with purpose and my own feelings about how each of us was gifted to make a difference in the world. Looking at that pineapple plant just existing, barely surviving made me realize how we too have a choice whether we survive or thrive. Sometimes we go through our lives convinced there is no time, no money, no support and no opportunity to really thrive and like that pineapple plant we exist and go through the motions but we don't look as beautiful nor feel as special or even resemble what we truly could be because we are just surviving and we have lost or abandoned or long given up the things that make us thrive.

There is a huge difference between surviving and thriving. One is existing in spite of and one is existing because of. Many of the people who I wrote about in my first book not only survived but learned how to really thrive often in amazing circumstances. Everyone of them has made an amazing impact on my life. But countless individuals who live relatively ordinary lives like you, like me, have learned how to not just exist but truly thrive. They are able to discover what is amazing about each day because they have figured out their "amazing" they have to offer and they contribute it with enthusiasm, joy and a spirit only something truly thriving can exhibit.

I hope my current followers and new readers will want to jump on board an adventure everyone should take.We get but one life. Living it just surviving is like see the Grand Canyon or Aurora Bourealis in black and white instead of color. It's critical to find your fire and add it to your life to turn your surviving into thriving and later this week FINDING YOUR FIRE will make its debut as the blog that takes life to a whole different level.Image via Wikipedia

I don't know about you but if a pineapple can survive the Winter given the right circumstances to continue to thrive how much better could your life be given the right circumstances to get it thriving?
Got an idea but don't know how to get it started? Tired of being stuck in the same old same old? Wondering what your real purpose really is? Always dreamed of something but never really made it come true? Still thinking that someday you will do something that makes the world a better place or even your life a more substantial life? Then come visit Finding Your Fire...soon LIVE and with a DRIVE TO THRIVE and grow and bring you along. Why should you just pass through when you can choose to go on life's greatest adventure?

Come visit...Tell me what you think and become a spark or an explosion in your little corner of the world.

Are you surviving another day or thriving your best life possible? What do you really wish you could do to make a difference and why are you waiting?

ASSESS

2012-01-05T00:20:00.000-05:00

Image by Blue Square Thing via Flickr

This is ONE MORE SERVING'S first blog post of 2012. I thought I would do things a little differently this year. While in the process of completing a new book, I have discovered it is nearly impossible for me to add to my platter without subtracting as well. I finally had to realize even with exceptional planning and organization, humans are at best just vessels and like any vessel, there is a saturation point where anything that is put in beyond that point is merely sloughed off and wasted.

So I want to make this blog meaningful and inspirational, but also effective and practical and I will attempt to do it best by highlighting ONE word titles that continue to profile incredible people but also extend relevant ideas to improve personal and professional lives and the way those lives interact with one another.

The first word this year is ASSESS. I think it is quite possible the most important word we need to have before we take on a project, make a decision, choose a direction or even respond to a question. Often a few moments of just assessing a situation, circumstance, remark, action or opinion can radically change what we might do or say otherwise, had we not taken a moment to look at all sides.

I want to try to assess something I see or hear before I immediately react. I hope in conditioning myself to assess what I am taking in, I might be more effective and less reactive. I most definitely will be doing this as I begin to transition the ONE MORE SERVING blog into the new blog for the new book, FINDING YOUR FIRE.

I am thrilled to be completing a second book but even more excited to share the experiences others have shared with me to bring it to completion. One thing I will be most certainly assessing is how I can best help YOU find YOUR FIRE as I know I have most certainly found mine.

This past year, one very personal and honest assessment made me realize if you can find what creates a fire in your belly, a passion in your soul and a drive in your life, you most certainly can change many aspects which you may have thought you had little power to change or little ability to handle.

What do you really need to take the time to seriously assess? Is it your career, your faith, your relationships, your anger, your obsessions? Everyone has something that needs assessing.

Image via Wikipedia

I invite you to take some time to assess ONE particular area of your life where you have been less effective or inadequate and honestly answer this question.

WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO DO ABOUT IT?

If you can't assess and can't respond what you want to do about it, you also can't do anything about it but more of the same. Is that what you want again or is it finally time to assess what you really DO want?

Some see life filled with obstacles you must get over, while others see the same as stepping stones to get around. It's all how you ASSESS it.

THE 12th May of Christmas...Who's Your Daddy?

2011-12-23T21:51:00.000-05:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylife
Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve. It is celebrated in nearly every nation around the world. Today people are concerned about using the terms, "Merry Christmas" thinking it may be politically incorrect and offend those who are not Christian and yet we fail to realize that we celebrate Thanksgiving but don't find it offensive to those who are not native to this country, nor do we find Memorial Day or Veteran's Day celebrations, parades and holidays to be offensive to those who are pacifists. Why then Christmas? Maybe because it has such profound effect on many people as they get caught up in the giving spirit, celebrating spirit, grateful spirit, family spirit.

It is said, "all hearts come home on Christmas." but those who are Christian realize this world is really only a temporary home. To those who aren't believers I would suggest one activity to really do in the new year.

MAY YOU DISCOVER WHO YOUR DADDY REALLY IS.

Not your worldly father but your spiritual Father and if you don't believe you have one then I would ask you to research broadly and discover WHY you believe there is no God, no spiritual Father who has deliberately paved a path to salvation, no reason to believe in something bigger than yourself. I encourage you to find proof by resurrecting as much key evidence as you can. After all, if you are not convinced, you can at least be specific about the reasons you remain without faith.

You see, Christians realize one thing. This series of stories and letters which is over 2,000 years old and has been translated into every language has had a profound impact on the world. It is the most read book in all the world. If it had simply been a convenient fairy tale there would be no major interest in continuing to translate it for others and few would still be using the verses and stories as practical advice for today. Something that is not real or full of holes is generally treated as a myth and read as a tall tale or fairy tale. Today it is the basis for numerous religions, is used to swear in political figures or promise truthful testimony in trial and is still the most quoted book of all time. Do you know any quotes that have sustained this type of longevity from Cinderella or Rapunzel...hardly!

Image via WikipediaSo read or look into the things you have major questions about. Go to groups where you can challenge Christians to explain why they believe. Be pro-active in your efforts to prove yourself correct, prove there is no Divine Being, no heaven and no God and perhaps if you really go through with the effort, in your search you might discover something you little suspected...who your daddy really is.

So let's review and wrap up the 12 MAYS of CHRISTMAS and get on with the eggnog and the caroling and the reindeer games, but not forget this did not transpire because a glass slipper did not fit or a nose grew too long or because someone's avatar was in trouble...We celebrate Christmas because over 2000 years ago a miracle happened and all because one little baby arrived.

1st May of Christmas:MAY YOU DREAM BIG AND BELIEVE ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD
2nd May of Christmas: MAY YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS AND NEVER LOOK BACK
WITH REGRET
3rd May of Christmas: MAY YOU FIND YOUR JOY AND GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE
BLESSED BY ITS PRESENCE ALL AROUND YOU
4th May of Christmas: MAY YOU ALWAYS REALIZE YOUR RICHES
5th May of Christmas: MAY YOU TAKE 5 GOLDEN MINUTES A DAY JUST TO BE
6th May of Christmas: MAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH AUTHENTICITY AND BE COMFORTABLE
WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE
7th May of Christmas: MAY YOU USE THE NEXT YEAR TO SATISFY YOUR SOUL HUNGER
8th May of Christmas: MAY YOU BE THE SUNSHINE IN SOMEONE'S STORM
9th May of Christmas: MAY YOU GIVE UP WHAT IS NOT WORTH SAVING AND GIVE OVER TO GOD WHAT YOU REALLY HOPE TO ACHIEVE. MAY YOU LET GO OF WHATEVER YOU NEED TO LET GO OF IN ORDER TO HANG ON TOWHAT REALLY MATTERS
10th May of Christmas: MAY YOU DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
11th May of Christmas: MAY YOU DARE TO SHARE
12th May of Christmas: MAY YOU DISCOVER WHO YOUR DADDY REALLY IS...ALWAYS AND
FOREVER.

and may you and your loved ones find this Christmas more special because you just MAY be the ONE who can make a difference today, tomorrow and for many more Christmas's to come.

Live a Great Mission...AMEN

DARE TO SHARE...on the 11th MAY OF CHRISTMAS

2011-12-22T21:04:00.002-05:00

Your 11th May of Christmas is simple. Dare to Share. If you want to give yourself one really meaningful opportunity, open up the possibility of sharing one of your talents or one of your interests for the benefit of someone else.

Volunteer you time, resources, energy, money and/or creativity for use where it can be the most good. Sure, maybe volunteering at a homeless shelter is not for you or maybe you don't want to get involved in certain issues. But there has to be at least ONE cause you feel passionate enough about to offer to help in some way.

If you can't roll up your sleeves and get involved in person, maybe you can helping by contacting others, stuffing envelopes, packing canned goods, shopping for specific needs, collecting necessary staples. ANY way you can be helpful without cost to an organization is significantly appreciated.

Image via WikipediaI know people who put on puppet plays for children in hospitals regularly and others who collect toys, pet food, blankets and even gift cards to pet stores for animal shelters. A good friend of mine volunteers to help mentor single mothers at an outreach program. A couple I know unload supplies and stock the shelves at a food bank weekly. Volunteering is a privilege and sharing your gifts with others blesses both of you.

Maybe you have always said that someday you wanted to help. Abandon the someday myth because no one knows if they will get another someday. Decide today what you will do it and commit to sharing your talents and excess with someone who would treasure that gift. Hospice programs and nursing homes are always looking for volunteers. Two women in Midwest wanted to make life easier for a man trying to juggle holding down jobs and raising his children while ministering to a love one with a critical illness. They began volunteering to clean his home once weekly. After just three months, more women volunteered and more houses were added and within a year there were over 40 volunteers and 26 clients whose homes were cleaned without charge by people who just saw a need and stepped up to help.
Image by Getty Images via @daylife
What you have to offer might be the only gift someone really wants. Share your resources and you will discover the amazing impact it will make. Someone or something somewhere is hoping you will make the commitment today to not let another year slip by without becoming part of a movement to give some time or energy to a cause you support. Last year I listed several volunteer opportunities and decided to once again list some because everyone can use another's gifts in some way.

Pick up the phone or email today and MAY YOU DARE TO SHARE. I promise a year from now, you will wish you had done it sooner.

Habitat for Humanity
Nursing Homes
Big Brother Big Sister Association
SPECIAL OLYMPICS
MEALS ON WHEELS
HUMANE SOCIETY
PRISON MINISTRIES

and a LIST OF A DOZEN MORE UNIQUE PLACES TO DARE TO SHARE
from this time last year. You see there will always be places and causes that desperately could use what you have. It's up to you to decide no more some day...today, MAY YOU DARE TO SHARE.

"then they will ask, Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in,or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?" and the King replied, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."Matthew 25:35-40
Image via Wikipedia

10TH MAY of CHRISTMAS...THE ATTITUDE

2011-12-22T00:37:00.000-05:00

Image by limevelyn via FlickrEveryone has "those days". Days when it looks like the light at the end of the tunnel is permanently out;
days when it appears that you are spinning your wheels attempting to do your best and falling farther behind; days when you wonder if things are going from bad to worse; days when there seems little to be sure of and much to doubt.

It can seem like the world is spinning out of control and you become discouraged looking at the future, but that is just when those horrific statistics of what life is like for the other half of the world make us realize how we really need to be grateful and appreciative of being so favored;so blessed.

Sure, some people have to work two or three jobs to stay afloat, but even when that happens, we are still much farther ahead of those people whose yearly income is still less than what we might bring home in a week. We may have to pay for our health care but we don't have to know our children will die from lack of ever having a doctor within a hundred miles of our village or medicine available to fight off a disease.
We grumble about the high cost of gasoline all the while forgetting that some people will never know the luxury of transportation. We can become frustrated with our government but still have the freedom to complain, attend religious services, and decide what career we want to pursue without fear of serious repercussion or bodily harm. We complain about the high costs of education but forget that somewhere there are countless youngsters who will never learn to read or see the inside of a school. We become anxious when the cost of living goes up and our dollar much stretch even farther but never consider clean drinking water and food in our cupboards as treasures others only dream about.
Image via Wikipedia
It is so easy to become so accustomed to comforts that we simply expect them. We feel entitled to the "good life" all the while insisting that things need to "get better". When you have so much, it's hard to even envision anything less. Most of the ordinary everyday blessings we just wake up and find at our fingertips from indoor plumbing to cell phones, instant movies to designer coffee, microwaves to computers are stuff in dreams to people who live half way around the world.

The next time you have "one of those days", you can honestly know it really COULD be worse. When the TV is down or the washing machine breaks, at least you have a TV or washing machine. The same when the car needs a new transmission or you need a roof repaired. If we could just stop taking everything for granted we might recognize we are more blessed than most.

There is a saying I love,..."It's not having what you want that matters, it's wanting what you have." I so often forget how very true that is. The more you have the more you tend to want and the vicious cycle of taking the "good life" for granted is passed on from generation to generation.

It's just a few days before Christmas, and often we all need to realize how truly blessed, truly fortunate and truly wealthy in many ways we are, probably even on our worst days.

That's when we need to think about the 10th May of Christmas:
MAY YOU DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

We would surely miss all our luxuries and blessings if they were removed, but how often do we actually express gratitude for having them? How often do we think about any of the things we so easily take for granted as incredible blessings instead of entitlements?

People say God doesn't always give you what you deserve, but He gives you what you need. In my case, he has given me so much more than I deserved and I sometimes I still complain and continue to hold out my hand and ask for more. Sometime I forget about an attitude of gratitude and instead expect the rest and the best.

How about you? Have you ever wondered how differently your life might be without a home, car, food, utilities, a job, clothes, health care, education, freedom?

It does make you want to close your hand and wonder how to begin to even say "thank-you"

Image via WikipediaThanks be to God for his indescribable gift(s)! 2 Corinthians 9:15

The 9th MAY... LET GO,GIVE UP, GIVE OVER,

2011-12-20T23:05:00.000-05:00

Image by abradyb via Flickr

Whenever I began the 12 Mays of Christmas, I knew it would mean I would have to discipline myself to publish a blog for 12 days straight and at a really hectic time of year. I chose to do this similarly to last year when I offered 12 different ways to make a difference on the 12 Days Before Christmas because I really do like to write, I can use the writing "discipline" and it gets me fired up for what is in store for me in the coming year.

You see, I really do want to write more, post more blogs, read more blogs, comment on more and become more involved in this passion. When I must write regularly at first it seems like a daunting task but once I begin and continue, like most things, it becomes easier and I find it less difficult than I imagined. I guess it is much like the "do something for 21 days and it becomes a habit" type of thing.

One thing I am certain of is in order to effectively write, read and comment more, I will have to discipline myself to eliminating the distractions or diversions that negatively affect me reaching my goal. A lot of what we want to do in life is often derailed by distractions or activities that pull us in ways we might not really want to go. This includes people who often sabotage our attempts to change circumstances because it means they may have to change as well and not be able to rely on our specific responses as they once did.
People will often criticize your efforts to create change out of jealousy or fear that they may have to get comfortable with the "new you". You may have an idea or plan or goal that requires you to be more focused and to rearrange your priorities. It's often harder for those who must accept the changed person than it is on the person who wants to create something different for his or her life.
Image by MikeRastiello via Flickr
You will need a strong will and determined spirit to pursue the life you want. You may have to give in to your needs and give up some of the things or people who consistently offer nothing positive towards achieving them. You may have to take some serious inventory of your life and determine what and who you really want to have in it and then begin to sever the ties with whatever or whoever prevents you from moving on. It may be something as simple as rearranging your schedule or something more dramatic like cutting ties with the negative individuals who offer nothing but obstacles. Seriously look at what and who takes your time, resources, energy and emotions and determine if you want to keep them or give them up. Sometimes you make the best choice when you give up the situations or individuals who consistently cause you stress and demand unreasonable expectations of you.

Sometimes you have to let go in order to hang on.

So. on this 9th May of Christmas...perhaps you MAY want to decide what or who you must give up what or who holds you back, who or what limits your progress or even frustrates your future.

Image by Brandon Doran via FlickrMAY YOU GIVE UP WHAT IS NOT WORTH SAVING AND GIVE OVER TO GOD WHAT YOU REALLY HOPE TO ACHIEVE.
MAY YOU LET GO OF WHATEVER YOU NEED TO IN ORDER TO HANG ON TO WHAT REALLY MATTERS.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

8th MAY OF CHRISTMAS

2011-12-19T16:20:00.000-05:00

Image by solidether via Flickr

I can still remember that day several years ago. It was pouring down rain and I was trying to juggle my umbrella and several bags of groceries when the wind whipped the umbrella out of my hand just as I got near my car. I ended up soaked in a few brief moments and absolutely water-logged by the time the groceries were all loaded. Then I realized I had forgotten to get stamps at customer service. I was just about to forget even attempting to go back into the store, when a car parked much closer than I was parked, pulled out, making me decide if I was already soaked, I may as well go back in and complete all my transactions.

As I was about to pull into the closer space, another car pulled through and I was left searching for another place to park. I glared at the gentleman who I thought never noticed my interest in the space, parked several spaces beyond where I had hoped to and ran into the store, clothing and hair dripping all the way. I got in line behind 2 people and waited my turn but as I got up to the counter and requested a book of stamps, the gentleman who had been in front of me and was now standing off to the side smiling, stepped forward with his credit card and asked to pay for my stamps. I was a bit overwhelmed and skeptical but before I could even protest, he volunteered, "It seems I took this young lady's parking space and she ended up without an umbrella being drenched because of it. It's no trouble to pay for the stamps." If you could see the color of my face through water dripping on it, it may have been a bright red.
I explained what had happened to the umbrella and that I had gotten soaked because of it blowing away not because he took a parking space I wanted. He smiled and said, "Well I am glad it was not all my fault, but please let me pay for this purchase as you look like you could use a little sunshine today." and he handed over his card to the clerk. I thanked him profusely apologizing for the wicked stare I had shot him out in the parking lot but all he asked was that I have a better day than I was having and that I "give some sunshine to someone else when they are having a very bad rainy day."

I never forgot his comments and I realize how often we might offer sunshine at minimal to no cost to someone who is completely overwhelmed and experiencing a day drenched in a storm. Maybe we can just offer to let someone in front of us or get someone to where they need to go. Maybe we can buy a cup of coffee for the stranger behind us or put some flowers on the porch of someone we know who is having a difficult time. Maybe we can pick up a tab for someone who looks frazzled in a restaurant or send an anonymous gift card to someone who we may not know well in our neighborhood but who we know is struggling or feeling lonely.

Sometimes it is as simple as noticing the effort someone goes through to make your own day better. Imagine how much better a day can be for someone if they hear, "Thank you so much for taking the time to do this for me." of "Please let me have your supervisors name, I know you went out of your way to make this experience a good one." What if we truly let people know how much they are appreciated especially strangers who we often think are simply just doing their jobs. What if we told the man who packed the groceries we appreciate his care in how he packs the delicate items or mentioned to the person who collects our trash that we know they take extra time to make sure our trash cans are not in the middle of the driveway so we need not get out and move them just to get up to the garage of if we mentioned to the auto repair shop owner that a particular mechanic treats our vehicle as if it were his own.
A few days ago, I observed an older lady in a store who told a young woman with many packages and several fussy children in tow to go ahead of her, simply commenting, "I had three small children once and I know how restless they get waiting in line. Please go on ahead, I've been where you are and anyone who is a mom would understand."

It is so very easy to add sunshine to someone's day and yet often we miss the opportunity to recognize how a smile, helping hand or much needed support might be all that makes the difference. Those stamps did not set that gentleman back much but the entire way home, I hardly noticed I was cold and soaking wet because I was thinking that my comfort, happiness or ability to be a little less frazzled was important to this man and he didn't even know my name! "Yes, I thought, Let me be mindful of when another needs some sunshine in their life." Image via Wikipedia

MAY YOU BE THE SUNSHINE IN SOMEONE'S STORM.

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. Proverbs 4:18

ON THE 7th MAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS...HUNGRY?

2011-12-18T23:03:00.000-05:00

Image via WikipediaHow many times each day do you think, "I'm hungry." or hear another say that to you? While our body clock often reminds us how long it has been since we have filled it, we often have another kind of hungry and often don't "feed" it nearly as much if at all.

It is as important to feed your soul as it is to feed your body. It is as important to seek what inspires you or validates you regularly. The hunger we often deny or simply ignore may be even more critical than the one that constantly gets our attention. When you have a difficult time putting your finger on just why something is not quite right, you may be experiencing a hunger that needs you to take time and discover what will really satisfy it. Sometimes it is a hunger that is asking you to be less anxious or less stressed, sometimes it is a hunger wanting you to take some time and discover what is really important. Often it is asking you to make some type of spiritual connection with something bigger than yourself. You can try and ignore it but a soul hunger will return regularly for without satisfying your soul you really will never be truly sated.

Going through rituals and routines will only take the place of whatever your soul needs to fill it for a short time. When your soul is hungry, nothing you feed your body really matters, nothing you are doing really has purpose, nothing you have makes a difference. You know you are "happy on the outside" but "empty on the inside." You could stock up on many material pleasures from food to activities to numerous possessions but still walk away hungry, questioning, "What do I really need?" "What would really satisfy me?"

Christmas is a wonderful time to search for ways to fill your soul hunger. You might want to consider a bible study, or small group reflection. Maybe you want to make time for your own personal search of what God is desperately trying to fill you with that you have never sampled and just begin to take a small bite and see if it fills the void.

On the 7th Day Before Christmas:
MAY YOU USE THE NEXT YEAR TO SATISFY YOUR SOUL HUNGER.

There are no calories you need be concerned about when you start filling your soul, no allergic reactions to the spiritual food you choose to swallow, no remorse tomorrow about over indulging today. It is not only a win/win situation, it is a win/sin situation. You can't conquer what competes for your time, your energy and your attention without some true soul food. Image by Loulair Harton via Flickr

THE SIXTH MAY OF CHRISTMAS...MAY YOU NOT BE JUST A MAYBE

2011-12-17T23:40:00.000-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

Do you have a difficult time choosing whether you should commit to something or not? Do you find yourself often regretting saying "yes" when you really would rather not have committed or feeling guilty about saying "no" when it looks like everyone else jumped on the band wagon and is willing to participate.

You can't take a side of "maybe" for some things in your life that require a decision and commitment.

It's easy to follow what the crowd does but sometimes it's not really want we want to do or not really what we are enthusiastic about, energized for or even moved by. Sometimes the band wagon is going places we don't really care about but we tend to go along because it is simply easier than opting out or admitting we are not going to support a cause. But that is neither honest nor healthy. Everyone has to do some things they aren't always thrilled about, but when given a choice about participation or commitment, it is important to recognize what you are willing to put your signature on.

Image by tejvanphotos via Flickr
Many commit to far more activities than they can truly offer any substance toward and consequently they are spread so thin, the impact they could make is barely felt. It is important to discern what you really believe in, enjoy, support or feel represents your values. Just because everyone else volunteers at a homeless shelter or contributes to a charity doesn't mean that is for you. You may find yourself far more committed to making an impact in a different type of activity. You should never feel obligated or committed if your heart and soul don't feel it is what you want. It's important to share your time and gifts to make this world a better place but you will hardly be effective making the world a better place if it makes you unhappy, uncomfortable or unsure.

MAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH AUTHENTICITY AND BE COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE.

Image by donnamarijne via Flickr

Never do anything for appearances sake because sooner of later the only thing that is apparent is less than your heart and soul was in it. Everyone needs to remember that sometimes saying, "no," or not participating is the right choice. Choose to sponsor, support or invest time in a few things you can do well and stop feeling a need to contribute to every opportunity out of guilt, obligation, social pressure or cultural mores. Be authentic in your decisions...Be true to yourself.

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37

FIVE GOLDEN MINUTES

2011-12-17T00:09:00.001-05:00

Image via WikipediaMaybe in the actual Twelve Days of Christmas song it was "five golden rings" but in today's world, what most people really need is 5 GOLDEN MINUTES. Certainly not the kind of minutes where you lock yourself in the bathroom just to get some sanity, although when my children were little, I easily could relate to that and not just five more minutes when you shut off the alarm and beg for just another bit of shut-eye...but GOLDEN MINUTES...minutes you would not trade for anything.

My dear friend Bobby Petrocelli says that if people would just take 10 seconds before they made a decision to stop and think about what they are about to do or not do, many things would be different and he is right, and I think if we gave ourselves permission to take 5 Golden Minutes each day to simply DO NOTHING but be...not be more kind, more outgoing, more thrifty, more studious, more patient or more active; although all of those might be great actions, I mean, just BE, it would make a huge difference as well.."BE" somewhere where you can just close your eyes and listen to a silence you might often never seek, or feel a sense of self you might never give yourself an opportunity to know.

Maybe in those 5 MINUTES, when you allow nothing to cross your mind, you will eventually reach a place where you can hear the Lord talk to you. It will be difficult at first as most new things are. You will be tempted to start to think of what you need to get when you go to the grocery store, or what to buy a friend for a birthday gift, or you will be thinking about whether you can pick up your dry cleaning, get a haircut and still be back home before the little ones get off the school bus...But if you deliberately keep thinking,
"5 GOLDEN MINUTES" and ask God to demonstrate what he wants from you and how he wants it during that time, you may be amazed at what you discover.

At first every minute might seem like an eternity, but eventually your 5 GOLDEN MINUTES will be gone so quickly that you will want more. People always say they wish they had more time but everyone has the same amount. It is how you use what you have that makes a difference and everyone needs a sweet spot in their day when all that is required is to be still and wait.

SO the 5th MAY of CHRISTMAS is simply:

MAY YOU MAKE A RESOLUTION TO TAKE 5 GOLDEN MINUTES A DAY TO JUST BE.
Image by AbAberson via Flickr
Be quiet. Be ready and Be...and what you learn in those 5 MINUTES may move your soul beyond anything you can imagine.

Want to really hear God's voice? The world often drowns out His attempts to call us, but in those 5 MINUTES you might finally have the conversation of your lifetime.

Be still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10

On This 4th MAYof Christmas

2011-12-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

Image by jennifrog via Flickr
It would only take most of us a moment to realize how amazingly wealthy we are. Oh, we may not have millions in the bank, own several homes, a private jet and go on regularly scheduled exotic vacations, but most of us have treasures we would never give up; not even for several million dollars.

You would never give up your eyes voluntarily for money, or your ability to walk or talk yet we take advantage of having these priceless treasures every day seldom realizing how many riches we already have. If you are not trying to beat a terminal disease, or facing homelessness or trying to put your life together again after a major tragedy, you have been afforded riches.

Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

It's so easy to forget how priceless our most important necessities are. We complain about our schedules or the countless errands we have to run. We are frustrated about our dwindling retirement investments and how hard we must work. We complain about the time it takes to clean our homes or the many social obligations we must handle. We forget there is someone whose social schedule is only filled with dates for chemo treatment, forget how someone who is homeless may love a home to clean, forget some would love to have a retirement account to even worry about.

From now on, affirm one of your riches daily. It shouldn't be hard to find them. If you are not ready to turn over your speech, your health, your hearing, your ability to walk or drive or any of the other incredible riches you own, then on this 4th May of Christmas,

MAY YOU ALWAYS REALIZE YOUR RICHES.

Image via Wikipedia

What is your most priceless possession? It most likely is not something you can buy, but when you realize all that you would never trade for any amount of money, it may be hard to pick just one that is priceless.

"Where your treasure is there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

ON THE THIRD MAY OF CHRISTMAS

2011-12-14T23:43:00.000-05:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylife
Image via WikipediaFor a long time I used to believe that I had to get everything done to deserve a slice of joy. But there was so much that always needed done from laundry to cooking, working to cleaning, there were seasons of raising children, owning a business and being "on" 24/7...I had joy but I often didn't seek it out as easily as it was available. Joy was something I gave to myself wrapped in the paper of "everything else."...I loved being a wife and mother, loved a clean house, a fabulous dinner, a thriving business, a happy family and I thought my joy was in all of those things but never realized how pervasive it went.

As I got older, I realized in incidental, everyday moments, joy was readily present. I just had to accept it. There was joy in watching the baby birds hatch right outside of my windows, joy in a phone call from an old friend, joy in a good glass of wine and a great book, joy in a blissful nap, joy in petting my dog, taking a walk, sitting and just enjoying being.

Joy is never something that should be placed on hold until the time is right, or delayed until all the stars align. Joy needs to be embraced regularly and in all circumstances. We miss so very much when we fail to see all the joy around us, but remove those things from our lives and we will truly see the void.

MAY YOU SEE YOUR JOY OFTEN AND GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE BLESSED BY ITS PRESENCE ALL AROUND YOU.

Image via Wikipedia

I would so miss my friends and family, my health and other blessings if they were removed from my life, but I would also miss my joys; the smell of coffee on a cold morning, the first blooms on the dogwood trees every spring, the sounds of some great jazz on a summer evening, the delicious bite of a favorite dessert, watching the squirrels play outside, hearing Christmas Carols, watching shooting stars, the smell of fresh laundry, the pungent smell of lilacs or cracking open a great book are just a few of the amazing joys I get to experience.

What about you? What joys are you eliminating from your life or which go unrecognized and seldom savored because you are too busy to allow yourself a little slice of joy, especially meant for you. Everyone has their own little bits of "joy"...you were meant to claim yours.

This year, find your joy and promise to never let it go again.

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy Psalm 126:3

FORGIVE...THE SECOND MAY OF CHRISTMAS

2011-12-13T21:43:00.000-05:00

Image by SPazzø via Flickr
When was the last time you allowed yourself to make a mistake and move on uneventfully without beating yourself up over the bad decisions or accidental errors? How long have you harbored feelings of being the one responsible for something that was long forgotten by everyone else? Sometimes the problem is not that we are not able to take the blame but that once we take it we don't give ourselves permission to forgive ourselves and move on.

Maybe you feel responsible for the marriage that dissolved or the poor relationship you have with your children. Maybe you blame yourself for a relationship with a friend that was severed, or feel you have been the one whose mistakes have led to a lifetime of "what if's". What has passed is past and the more you try to drag it into the future, the less comfortable it feels. You might easily forgive another but still have not forgiven yourself.

Life is too short to live on this side of regret or disappointment. Even if it was your fault.

MAY YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS AND NEVER LOOK BACK WITH REGRET.

Some may think it controversial to not have remorse about an action or disappointment about something you did, but any regrets that linger are bound to have more negative implications than positive ones. Stop wishing for what isn't or can never be and simply forgive yourself and leave it where it is best...over and done. Then pick up the pieces left and go into your life positively determined to learn and do better. It is a gift you absolutely must give yourself if you are ever going to leave a better legacy or commit to something larger than yourself.

Whether you need to forgive yourself or finally come to grips with forgiving someone who needs to hear your pardon, it can be amazingly exhilarating to simple say, "I forgive you." and promise to not dwell on any aspect of the issue again.

So simply look into the mirror or pick up the phone and say the words that will not only lift a heavy weight from you shoulders but give you wings to live your life soaring above the thing that has forever held you down.

If your heavenly Father could forgive, why can't you be as gracious?

"I WILL BLOT OUT ALL YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS AND REMEMBER YOUR SINS NO MORE."Isaiah 43:25

What do you need to give yourself permission to forgive?

THE 12 MAYS OF CHRISTMAS

2011-12-13T07:30:00.007-05:00

Image via WikipediaIt seems that more than ever, we run from one activity to another, barely absorbing the effects of one before moving on to another accomplishment or experience. It has become ever more apparent to me, especially this year, that life moves on despite our best efforts to preserve our youth, our hopes, our dreams and especially our goals.We may be waiting for everything to be perfect and die tomorrow. The time to live like we will die tomorrow really is now. It's not about investing, saving and planning, because while that is all essential, we must still be ready to live each day as though that were the last we are given...because someday it will be.

Given that most people tirelessly search for the perfect gift for a friend or loved one, I want to encourage you to search for your perfect gifts in making the rest of your life the best of your life. It's not selfish, not egotistical and not even a suggestion. It is a fact, that whenever you take care of yourself, you can better take care of everyone else in your path. We often forget that we need to give ourselves the permission to discover our gifts, open them and enjoy what we have been blessed with. So in these 12 days before Christmas, I invite you to share some "MAYS' that might encourage you and inspire you to make the coming year one you will be sure to feel you have lived completely and extraordinarily, the way you believe only you would have wanted to live it.

MAY YOU GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF BELIEVING...in yourself and in your God given talents to be used in a way only you can do

If you don't believe you can accomplish something why should anyone else? Believe you can do something amazing in the next year, whether it be to accomplish a life long goal, fulfill a dream, or pursue a major change. Believe you will discover the resources and logistics of how to really embrace the special traits that only you possess. Write a bucket list or goal journal and pick one that you believe you can accomplish and may you give yourself permission to go after your goal in every way, because you can and you should. You cannot expect others to give you the gift only you can find yourself so you owe it to yourself to roll up you sleeves and make this a gift you will certainly permit yourself to own...Believe you were put on this earth to accomplish a very specific task. It may not be what you do in your career, or for your hobby or even in your lifestyle, but believe that your gift is yours alone and if you haven't discovered what it might be, make this the year that you leave no stone unturned in asking God to make it very evident what HE and YOU can accomplish together.

MAY YOU DREAM BIG AND BELIEVE ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD (Matthew 19:25-27)

Return tomorrow for the 2nd MAY of CHRISTMAS

20 THINGS TO SAY IN YOUR LIFETIME

2011-11-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

Image by Chris Sgaraglino via Flickr Words have impact. From, "Ask not what you can do for your country...." to "One small step for mankind." But whether in the midst of a phenomenal event or an every day circumstance, there are moments when what we say is as much or more important than what we do.

Having worked in the field of communication for years, I think there are 1000 Things You Should SAY Before You Die...But 1,000 would be far too many for this post, so I picked the 20 most significant phrases you should utter before you die.

1) I made a mistake...accept the ownership of your debacle and move on. It can be invigorating and life changing.

2) I don't know...Only God is all knowing, so never be too wise to admit you are not God.

3) I need help...Seriously a phrase that becomes difficult to say unless you are capable of humbling yourself enough to keep learning.

4) It was my fault...Like acknowledging a mistake but actually accepting ownership of it without blaming someone else.

5) It doesn't matter...sometimes it really doesn't and hearing yourself say it aloud validates that.

6) What can I do to help? ...Often we don't know what to do in circumstances but asking might at least admit you are open to suggestions?

7) This makes my heart happy...Do you know how often telling someone that who has made your heart smile is a true statement of gratitude.

8) I'm so sorry...But not just those 3 words, follow it up with, how can I fix this or make it better?

9) You did a great job...Often people just want to know they accomplished something others recognize.

10) I'm ready to....Until you make a commitment to start something, it is often impossible to commit to stopping something.

11) What's your opinion?...Then really listen and hear another person's thoughts on something.

12) We are in this together...Everyone likes to know that when it really comes down to it, they have support.

13) Thank you because...We often thank someone regularly but like "have a nice day", it becomes little more than a cliche unless we specifically volunteer what really made us grateful.

14) Let it go...A good thing to tell yourself or another when there is nothing else left to say or do.

Image by Larah McElroy via Flickr

15) I forgive you...How different the world would be if we just offered those words as a peace offering

16) I respect you...Same with this response. It's a level playing field when you let someone know regardless of his/her stand on something, they have your respect.

17) I agree...Simple and often just one vote of confidence for someone who goes out on a limb.

18) I couldn't have done it without you because...Everyone wants to believe they offer something special, but when you notice it and comment what really stood out, it becomes a great personal compliment.

19) Where am I headed?...A good question to ask ourselves regularly to determine if we are even remotely in the direction we set out to be going.

20) I really love you...Self Explanatory but really needs to be said often especially to those who matter most in our lives. We never know when those might be the last words someone hears, but how sweet the sound.

There are probably countless other comments to make sure you use in your lifetime.
What's your favorite?
What do you wish you WOULD have said if given the chance to "do it over"

USED TO

2011-11-10T08:15:00.002-05:00

Image by JPott via Flickr
"Hello, darlin'," she says every time she sees me but that's because she doesn't remember my name. I have been visiting Anita for nearly 2 years as part of hospice volunteering I do. Anita isn't exactly a typical hospice patient. Usually I see those for just a few weeks at best, however Anita's family isn't able to visit her as often as they would like and so they requested companionship visiting for her. She has been a joy to visit whether she is in a talkative mood or just wants someone to sit beside her as she watches TV or looks out the window at whatever remains in her world. I have learned a lot from and about Anita. I am not always sure what is accurate and what is just the result of memory not being the way it used to be, but then everyone in the nursing home where Anita resides knows "used-to".

Some used to be gainfully employed as teachers or mechanics, policemen or even nurses like the ones taking care of them. Some used to be able to golf, drive their own vehicles, have lunch with their friends or make their own dinners. I look at these faces in the hallways, where sometimes wheelchair traffic is as gridlocked as the nearest interstate and some smile but others simply look distant as though they realize this is not really their home. The nurses joke with them or help them navigate their food with utensils that have become more difficult to use independently.

Image by fiskfisk via Flickr

They may or may not have chosen this place to now call home, but I know they used to have homes or places they lived independently. Some used to be the breadwinner for families that have moved far away; too far to visit regularly. Some used to paint or play the piano, cook, or refurbish cars and some like Anita used to be able to read but either can't because the print is nearly invisible or even if they try to enjoy the story on tapes,find they can't comprehend what they hear.They were able to button their own clothes and had hair and good hearing and as one man told me," I used to have more of my own parts and fewer replacement ones." Some used to spend their weekends watching football, tending their gardens, traveling or enjoying the company of their grandchildren. Anita used to have a small dachshund that curled up near her feet each night. Now she has some stuffed dogs that I am sure are not really a good replacement for her beloved, "Louie".
I can't help but know that "used-to" becomes more of my vocabulary everyday. I used to be able to stay up and party all night, I used to not have to watch what I ate, I used to think 30 was old. I used to wear high heels comfortably. I used to read bedtime stories and tuck babies in, used to have clothes in sizes lower than double digits, used to get up at 3 a.m. to get a little guy to an ice rink, used to read Cosmopolitan instead of This Old House and used to go out the same time I now go to bed. Things change. We don't know where we will end up...or how.

Image by * hiro008 via Flickr
When I meet with Anita, or see any of the other patients I visit, I know that we will all be shells of our former self at some point. Strangers may be caring for us and we may not recognize much in our world that looks familiar. Someone will perhaps look at us and not know any of our "used-to" moments. Someone may only see us for what we are then, when in reality everyone "used to" be different.

Our lives slip by mostly unnoticed when the hour glass is fairly full but more obviously when it is more than half empty. I see the faces that I know have a story which people now with them will never know and pray for my own sake that with amazing compassion and gentle acceptance, everyone will realize we are all part of a cycle of "used to" more than we know.
Whether because of age, health, economy, or any other circumstances, sometimes who we see is not who they used to be. Some day, how others see us might never be the way we were.

How about you, what's on your list of "used to__?"

Are There Monsters in the Closet?

2011-10-17T10:16:00.003-04:00

It has been nearly a decade since Elizabeth smart was kidnapped from her own bed and taken into a horrid nightmare for nine long months. We hear of stories like hers and those of other victims, like Jaycee Duggard as well as children who are still missing or have been found dead and realize that in a world where we value education, we must discuss with our children the ugly truth as well as the the unfounded fears.Today's post comes courtesy of author, Melissa Harker Ridenour who has first hand experience with how a crime against a friend affected her.

There are No Monsters in the Closet

Image by vastateparksstaff via Flickr

Part of loving our children is the responsibility for protecting them from any kind of harm and raising them to be happy, healthy adults, and, of course, reassuring them at bedtime that there are no monsters in the closet. But how do we make our children feel safe and secure and, indeed, keep them safe and secure from monsters out there in the real world? As parents, most of us learn as we go, do the best we can, and just hope for the best.

Parenthood can be so scary too. Having children is like having your heart forever walking around outside your body – facing whatever trials and tribulations that cross their paths along the way. As parents, we tend to want to shield and protect. But, as parents, we can’t always be with our children. That is why it’s necessary to empower children to learn to stay safe themselves as well. We, as parents, need to make it a priority to empower our children to take a pro-active role in staying safe from abduction and predator harm. Empowering children to stay safe from such risk has always been a priority for me – so much so that I published a book on the issue.

Sometimes people ask me why I wrote a children’s book on such a subject. I have a few reasons for writing such a book, beginning with a traumatic memory from my childhood. When my best friend and I were in the fifth grade, more years ago than I care to think about, I awoke on a Monday morning to my mother having to explain to me that I wouldn’t see my friend in school anymore. She explained to me, as gently as she could, that my friend had been abducted, raped, and murdered the evening before. That was a difficult thing for me to understand at that age. But the trauma stuck with me thereafter. As a child, when I would walk to school, I would have to pass the spot where my friend’s body was discovered. I remember for the longest time running, terrified, past that spot each time. Adding to the tragedy of the story is the fact that her mother, the next year, committed suicide. She was never able to cope with the loss of her daughter, especially in such a violent way.

That haunting memory has always affected me, especially when I became a mother myself. One of my greatest fears as a young mother, and even now that my children are grown with children of their own, is that something similar could happen to my children or grandchildren. That fear, as well as children’s naivety and sense of invincibility, combined with the alarming statistics regarding missing and exploited children, are motivations that prompted me to write a book that would teach children strategies for staying safe and would help parents learn how to keep children safe from abduction or predator harm.

Image by R. Edelmann via Flickr

According to the most recent statistics, 79% percent of abductions are committed by strangers and 21% by acquaintances. The concept of “stranger” is difficult for children to understand. Children are sometimes accustomed to hearing their parents use the phrase, “stranger danger”. That phrase should actually be retired. Such a phrase can tend to make children feel as though all strangers are bad when, in fact, most people, including most strangers are good. But some people, including some strangers aren’t so good. It’s impossible for anyone, especially children, to know with absolute certainty who is good and who is bad. Teaching children stranger safety, and whom they should and should not trust, without making them distrustful of people in general, is a delicate balancing act, but it can be done.

I can best typify the safety needs of children with the words of Princess Diana, "I don't want expensive gifts; I don't want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure."

Access information about What Would You Do? A Kid’s Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers at Melissa Harker Ridenour Books AuthorMelissaHarkerRidenour.com

6 Lessons to Learn from Steve Jobs

2011-10-10T08:30:00.001-04:00

Image via Wikipedia

I am not a great techie and am not considered part of the digital generation but I realized that Steve Jobs has taught this generation much about life in ways we might never realize. What we can all learn might go like this:

1) Education can impart knowledge but it can never give you the will to run with it.
Steve was a college drop out and although he never stopped learning, he did not allow the walls of any institution to limit where his ideas could take him.

2) Your true fire is never dampened by circumstances only redirected.
Steve did not allow obstacles or conventionalism to stand in the way of what he was passionate about. He got fired from the company he started and although he felt like a total failure, he never lost his vision for what he loved.

3. Where you come from is not as important as where you are going.
Steve was adopted by a father who never graduated high school and a mother who never finished college and although they promised his birth mother they would send him to college, he realized after attending Reed College for 6 months that he was not interested in the courses he was required to take and was spending all of the money his working parents had. He chose to drop out and elected to

4. Sometimes our rivals become our greatest supporters
In 1998, Job's found his company on the brink of its demise and had to turn to Microsoft for rescue, he realized that regardless of competition, sometimes both parties profit more from connecting than diverting.

5.We can plan for the future but not plan the future.
In spite of all the technology available, Job's cancer was not curable. He could create and alter the things humans can change but could not escape from the divine plan for his life.Jobs talks about connecting the dots for your life looking backward rather than forward which is the only way mere mortals recognize what was meant to be.

Image by Mr. Babyman via Flickr

6. One idea put into action really can change the world.
Whether Steve's ideas, your ideas or my ideas, the potential to make an amazing difference is available to all of us.

From digital pictures and music to surfing the web in the palm of our hands, Steve Jobs was relentless in making the universe... "a small world, after all."

Maybe you have the spark that will ignite the fire that will change the future for many. We are all given a chance to change the world, perhaps the real question should be.

Image by Ricky Romero via FlickrWhat are you doing with your chance?

A KNOW BUDDY WHO FACES DEATH DAILY

2011-09-19T09:00:00.007-04:00

Image by 4WardEver UK via FlickrNext Wednesday September 21 is not only the first day of Fall, but the last day that Troy Davis may see the light of day. Troy was convicted of killing police officer, Mark MacPhail over twenty years ago. Troy's case is significant in that 7 out of 9 witnesses who testified in the trial in 1991 have recanted their testimony, yet a year ago, the Supreme court ruled that Troy had failed to prove his innocence and unless a miracle is in the cards for Troy, he will be executed on Wednesday Sept. 21, 2011 at midnight.

This case caught my eye because of my story in ONE MORE SERVING about Bill Pelke. Bill has fought to abolish the death penalty most of his adult life. An ordinary man who faced his own demons when he was unable to shake off the horrific murder of his grandmother at the hands of a 14 year old girl, Bill recognized the importance of forgiveness, justice and leaving a legacy of living a purposeful life. Bill's involvement in creating The Journey of Hope cost him relationships with some friends and loved ones but also took him to venues he never planned for or expected when he chose to contact the 14 year old who was on death row for killing his grandmother. I can remember talking with Bill, who lives in Alaska about his experience and what has happened to his life since that fateful day when he learned his grandmother lost her life.

Bill recently celebrated a birthday and instead of gifts asked for contributions to the non-profit Journey of Hope whose mission has been to rally for the abatement of the death penalty and restorative justice. He fights his battle with the support of family members of individuals whose lives were also taken by violence. It is typical to expect people to want vengeance but many individuals who have had their lives turned upside down by a violent act realize closure often comes only when one can have forgiveness in his or her heart. I cannot tell you how moved I was by Bill's story only to discover how many others had incredible experiences yet are working to making a personal and purposeful legacy as a result of some unspeakable act against a family member.
Bill will be going to Uganda in a few weeks to help a man who spent 20 years in a Uganda prison for a murder that did not happen build his dream. You can learn more about that project at DREAM WORLD

Forgiveness often seems difficult to do even when it just involves pardoning a significantly smaller act. How many times have you said, "I will never forgive him/her"? We are told in the Bible not to judge others or we will be judged and to forgive as we expect to be forgiven (Luke 6:37-38) I know I have been guilty of withholding pardon because I could choose whether to forgive or not and yet it makes me so ashamed to realize that Christ died on the cross for sins He never committed for me and yet forgave me. Who am I that I could not do even the same?

Have you experienced forgiveness when you never thought you deserved it? Are you withholding pardon from someone who needs to know you truly forgive them? Bill's story is one that will leave you wondering if you could ever make your life's mission one as committed as he chose. Visit Bill at JOURNEY OF HOPE and offer him a belated Happy Birthday and your thoughts and prayers. Tell him I sent you. I know he would appreciate it.

OH MY GOD!

2011-08-29T12:04:00.000-04:00

Image via Wikipedia

I heard it again, the comment, "Oh, my God," I don't know whether it was said by a believer or one who doesn't have any faith. I simply know that it is a frequent response out of our mouth when something happens that amazes us.
Whether it be at the scene of an accident, at the birth of a baby, during a natural disaster or opening the door at your surprise party we often make that comment to indicate our surprise at the unexpected.

Just a few days ago, a hurricane took much of the Northeastern United States under it's command. The video demonstrates how familiar places can seem unrecognizable as forces of nature take control. Hurricane Irene

Image via Wikipedia Growing up near a river, I experienced some unbelievable experiences which even today remind me how little is in our control. While not nearly as forceful as a hurricane, flooding which often occurred when ice jams far upstream would break up and melt in early Spring became a constant concern for residents like my family who lived a stone's throw from the water. I can remember several years of water filling the basement and beginning to seep onto the first floor. For my parents, who not only had a home but a business, it meant enormous stress and diligent preparation as well as often a significant loss of property. I have seen pictures of a flood before I was born that made the home I grew up in unrecognizable as all one could see were the third floor windows, where no streets were visible as people attempted to rescue loved ones in boats dodging everything from pianos, dining room tables and wardrobes which floated amid the debris. It still amazes me to see those pictures and try to imagine how people felt returning to mud caked structures they once called "home".

It has been over 100 years since New York was hit with the damage Irene left behind and never in the history of it's existence has the city seen an evacuation like this one closing its subway system and leaving crowded tourists spots looking like abandoned ghost towns. We grow so used to the comfort of what is familiar to us, it can be easy to feel too complacent with our lives sometime, thinking that we are immune to the catastrophe just ahead. We often plan, insure, rearrange and take significant precautions to protect our comfort levels and yet, we have very little under our actual control. It doesn't take more than a single defining moment whether it be something like Irene, or one more personal in your life to recognize that it can all change on a dime. Life is far more fragile than we can ever hope to insure, prepare for or even invest in. We must go beyond those moments when we think we have covered everything we need to do to be secure and realize that God is the only one who has anything in control. Nothing is impossible with Him. Whether it be a hurricane in the middle of a busy metropolitan city or an exceedingly older couple(like Abraham and Elizabeth) finding out they were pregnant.

Image by sgs_1019 via Flickr
Of course, there will be people who have many reasons and excuses filled with scientific explanation and personal rationale to discount God's hand in anything. But regardless, one thing I have learned is that I am limited in what I am capable of but He is not. AMERICAblog.Working on my second book, I continue to be amazed at God's ability to change lives forever even when lives hijacked by moments we never see coming.ONE MORE SERVING

My life is a gift which I must trust to Him and as much as I have free will, I do not make things happen just because. It is in those moments when He takes my breath away that I can whisper, "Oh, my God" and know how powerful, how awesome and how in control He will always be.

Have you experienced an "Oh my God" moment? How has it changed your life?

Everything's Under Control...Oh, Yeah.

2011-08-22T14:54:00.000-04:00

So here I sit and I guess it's"tight" the way I was asked to sit by some strange voice on the other end of the phone who assured me she had everything "in control."Not in the comfortable jammies with coffee in hand that I usually enjoy when updating my blog, but in a environment that should be quiet and relaxing called the "library". However, my local library is for some reasons infused with children and for some reason no one is even encouraging anyone to be quiet. I would yell at the top of my lungs too, except I don't have the energy as nearly all of mine has been redirected to dealing with individuals in customer service who have already "not made my day."

It started Saturday when less than 48 hours after purchasing a vehicle my check engine light came on and it required a trip to the dealer who gave me a loaner(one with a big advertisement on the front and the sticker with the msrp and other details pasted on the side...yes, just what I want to be driving) and promised to call Monday to tell me about my vehicle.

Then yesterday, the computer I was using at home decided to just withdraw from internet access by way of a faulty modem. Oh, it wasn't that easy. It took 1 1/2 hrs. on the phone to customer support and tech support to finally determine that it was their modem that proved faulty. Of course, I had to find that out after telling some innane voice recognition machine the number I was calling about at least 6-7 times as I got hustled through various departments. This included having to answer a security question, give the last 4 digits of my social and probably in the next decade will require me sharing my current weight, marital status and credit score...just because it can. After customer no-service from tech support who really didn't seem to know what they were doing but did tell me they were doing it from the Phillipines, it was suggested that I call the sales department in the morning(EARLY...by 8 a.m. I was told) to place an order for a free wireless modem for which she told me I was "illegible"(eligible in her dialect).

I called at 8 a.m. this morning only to be told it was too EARLY to reach sales and to try back 1/2 hour later,which I did. I was then told I was only eligible if I added another $5.00 month to my bill for home networking(which I did have until last month when another person attempted to save me money on my home phone by downgrading my account). After agreeing to the upgrade, I was taken back to technical support where I was informed that even though I called EARLY...It took 2 hours to process my request for an upgrade and then it might be too late to order the modem today. I was sent back to customer service who indicated they could order my modem however it would take even longer and promised to call me as soon as the 2 hours was up to indicate it was processed.

In the meantime, I called the service department at the dealer where I purchased my vehicle. After the first person answered, I was transferred back to service where after waiting on the phone to speak to a technician for 3 minutes, I was promptly disconnected. After another call back, I was told, everyone in service "must have been with other customers" and was asked to hold again. Several minutes on hold later, I drove to the dealership to see what was wrong with a car I have actually driven less than 2 days. My salesperson connected me with the head of service who assured me he was looking to fix my car today and had "everything under control" and I would get a call shortly.That was 3 hours ago.

However, I did just receive a call from my internet provider who told me my order for a modem, placed nearly 6 hours ago still had not processed and I should just "sit tight" and she would call me as soon as it went through. This being said, an overnight delivery of a new modem looks less likely will be today.(I was also told overnight can actually take 2 days!!)

Exasperated with the trivia that often bogs us down, I decided to do what I often do best in a crisis; put it into words and then be grateful it is not worse. I have not heard earth shattering news today. My loved ones are still well and my home, sans internet is still comfortable and well stocked. The library may be far from quiet, the car far from driveable and the internet provider far from capable but my God is not and in spite of what doesn't work, He always does. He is truly on call 24/7. He will not route me to another department, fail to apprise me of my current situation or status or give me any double talk. He will not try to sell me something I don't want or need, or even make me take something I should have. He will simply listen and do what God does...provide what we need if we just ask. He may make me wait for some things He does not think are right for me; now or in the future. He may not answer every prayer or even fill every desire, but He will meet every need and will not abandon me in time of distress.

The minutia of life often gets in the way of allowing us to recognize what really is important. Having to deal with repairs, broken equipment or people who are not always honest or responsible is frustrating and annoying however I am not dealing with broken relationships because of dishonest people or bodies that need repaired when they fail to function as expected. I am dealing with a few glitches that do put a dent in my productivity but maybe are a divine way for me to use the time to be good to myself and take some extra time to play with my dog, read a book, call a friend or enjoy a nice long bubble bath. After all, I can't stay in the library all day, drive far on a loaner or even go home and answer email :>)

Life will always throw us curves and when we can't catch them, maybe it is important to remember what really matters. God will handle the erratic throws when we can't make the catch. He will run the bases when we can't seem to get up to speed and He will most certainly call us safe long after we have missed the plate. So, now with that thought behind me, can anyone say, "Magic Jack" and public transportation or just, "take a breath and enjoy all the things about this day, I might have missed if running around in my car or surfing the net."

Unbelievable, the alarm in the library just sounded and a voice over the intercom just announced, "They are working on our security system, don't panic, everything is under control."

I am thinking...unless you are God...not so much.

How about you? What things really frustrate you but when put in perspective are really just life's trivia that distract us into believing they are as important as what really matters.

10 THINGS

2011-08-01T21:35:00.000-04:00

I am a list maker. There it's out there for everyone to know. I make shopping lists, to-do lists, lists of people I want to contact, lists for blog posts. It's just one aspect that helps me recall what I need to remember, buy, do or compose.Some people would easily know I was a list maker but might not know other things about me, so here goes. Here is the official 10 Things List(s) .

Image via Wikipedia
TEN THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME
1) I know most of the lyrics to all of Mary Chapin Carpenter's songs and sing them in my car(a lot)

2) I love rodeos...taking a risk for 8 seconds seems worth it to me and the meaner the bull the better.

Image via Wikipedia

3) I can spend hours in second hand furniture, consignment or architectural salvage shops.

4) I don't travel without a bag loaded with reading material.

5) I took my first piano lesson at age 26.

6) I can't swim.

Image by toddwshaffer via Flickr

7) I can say, "Come and Eat" in Slovenian.

8) I believe a house is not a home unless it has a huge porch for some good conversation.

Image by pirate johnny via Flickr
9) I really did marry my best friend

10) I have been the recipient of several miracles...really ask me!

Oh...and I am a list maker and I think this 10 Things list is a good idea when a mind is too tired to be more inspirational and readers are too busy to really get deep in thoughts. But, I might like your help in developing other 10 THINGS lists, so what do you think? 10 THINGS I SHOULD HAVE DONE,10 PEOPLE I WISH I COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH? 10 THINGS I WISH I WOULD'VE SAID, 10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM A CHILD, 10 JOBS I WISH I COULD HAVE DONE...let me know and by the way.

What are 10 THINGS I don't know about you? Come on...just go with it.

Just HOW Happy Are You?

2011-07-25T21:43:00.000-04:00

Image by Evil Erin via FlickrA few weeks ago, I heard a statement that caught me off guard because it rang so true. Someone told me that people think happiness is something that you can get when really it is something we already have that is actually magnified by giving it away.

Happiness seems to be that "thing" all people seem to want in life. We hear, "I just want to be happy....." yet, we seem to give the word, "happy" more connotations than stars in the sky. We are happy when we make the grade or is that just satisfaction? We are happy when someone pays us a compliment or is that just gratitude? We are happy when someone tells us they want to marry us(usually!) or is that just love? We are happy the test results are nothing to worry about, but that might really be relief. We are happy our team won the game, the car didn't die, the dinner did not burn, the baby finally went to sleep and the scale says what we hoped it would. We use the word happy for a variety of emotions.

Happy is many things in many different ways at many different times.We just know that like true unconditional love, happy is something we want to have. But it is often true that we don't know what we are unhappy about until something happens that make us realize our "happy" has been threatened either by a circumstance or event or maybe even by a person.We take our happiness for granted.

Often we work to reach goals we assume will make us more happy and content only to realize now we have a whole new set of goals to reach because we are at a new place and want different resources. We imagine we will be happy if we find our dream job, Mr. or Ms. Right, or our perfect house. We even comment that "things will be better" once we graduate or get married or relocate or get that new car or even pay off all of our debts. The truth is that for a little while we might be more content, but we will constantly be tempted with the next best thing and once again our contentment is rocked by something that we didn't even know we wanted until we realized we didn't have it.We measure our happiness by what we need to get rather than what we already have.

The University of Pennsylvania's Authentic Happiness Project offers various scales and measurements about Life Satisfaction, Gratitude Surveys,Meaning in Life evaluations as well as Happiness research. You can take some of the surveys on line and find out just how happy or unhappy you are. But I think happiness is really a hunger than needs to be fed regularly. We want to feel contented enough not to have that hunger although there is no doubt that it will surface and we will need to feed it again. Sometimes it is fed through good news, compliments, relationships and even things but it is never completely satisfied by getting something we want or even need. The longevity of happiness seems to be mostly dependent on what we do with it when we have it. Do we share it with someone who needs a little more "happy" in his or her own life? Do we make the most of our happiness by investing the blessings we do have to draw upon them in times when our own "happiness" seems diminished? Do we measure our happiness by our own rulers and not someone else's yardstick?

Just for this week, count how many times you say the word happy whether it is "I am happy you made it home before the weather turned nasty." or " I'm so happy I found my car keys." and every time you do put some type of token in a jar to remind you of your "happy". At the end of the week, invest your some of your "happy" in adding to someone else's, because the only way to multiply your happiness is to divide it. And before you ask yourself, just how happy you are, think about all the things that would've removed some of your happiness that did not happen in your life and then ask yourself again and I am sure, you will realize that "happy" is many things and sometimes it is in not getting the things that could have happened, the events that might have been, the circumstances that almost were...happiness is like my friend put it..."when you think God has sent a curse and then realize He only sends blessings and you get a chance to experience it that way."
Image by Roo Reynolds via Flickr
Remember the song, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."? What REALLY makes you happy? My applause is deafening. How about Yours?

The Trip of A Lifetime

2011-07-18T11:14:00.001-04:00

Image by Rachel Ford James via Flickr

In life it is not where we have been that matters but where we are going.

There's nothing like the travel channel or looking through 1,000 Places to See Before You Die tto make you start to think about where you want to go. I have seen the beaches in Antigua, the wine country in Napa, the cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde and the colors in the morning sun in Bryce Canyon. While there are been countless incredible places I have visited, my heart has often remembered the ones less spectacular but still places where I enjoyed life to the fullest regardless of the scenery. You know those places too, I am sure; the porch swing at my grandma's where I got to eat thick pieces of homemade bread slathered with fresh strawberry jam, the kitchen table at a friend's house, where secrets were shared and laughter and tears were equally welcome, the arms of a loved one, which feels like home no matter where I am. Anywhere with my husband and children together. The scenery may change but often what really moves us is not where we are but what we see on the journey.

I have had my breath taken away not only looking at Niagara Falls but also in a delivery room when tiny babies where placed in my arms. I counted their fingers and toes and commented about how they had my husband's eyelashes or my mother's ears held mesmerized by that moment and many of those to come which I couldn't see then. In the midst of the scenery of raising children, the moment never takes the picture only years can reveal. I saw toys everywhere,faces smeared with chocolate pudding, finger prints on walls and bumps and bruises from fights with siblings. I saw caterpillars stuffed in clothing, baby birds in shoe boxes, uneven bangs from playing "barber" with a neighbor and flowers removed from a neighbor's plants when the pruning shears looked like a fun toy. Later I saw a bedroom unrecognizable for the clothes,school work, awards and dishes scattered amid the softball bats and piles of library books in every corner. From broken down cars to broken hearts, Eskimo rolls to weapon handling I saw a young lady who turned out to amaze my husband and I often more in spite of us than because of us.
Image by nicole.pierce.photography ♥ via Flickr
I passed a picture today of a day old infant with dark curly hair, which is exactly what I saw that morning over three decades ago when she was placed in my arms. Motherhood is like some rare place you always want to visit, but have no idea what to expect when you get there. It is a combination of awe, surprise, and amazement. It is a journey that is sometimes rough, sometimes delightful and all the time one you hang on to through pictures as the scenery changes and goes much faster than you ever dreamed possible. It doesn't feel like it will pass so quickly when you are knee deep in diapers and 3 a.m. feedings or making science projects or taking gum out of pig tails or packing up a college dorm for another summer break but in the blink of an eye...it's another photo in life's camera.

I may not have realized the journey I was taking so many years ago when but I have had nothing but an amazing trip so far with a woman who will always be my little girl. She has shown me places I might never have chosen to visit had she not been in my life to allow me to see them with different perspectives. One of my favorite places to visit, my sweet daughter is always in your company. So happy birthday, Natalie and remember that one of life's best places to be is always in the moment....so enjoy this one and the next and the next and thank you for the many I have been blessed with because of you.
Image by Mountainbread via FlickrBlow out the candles and take another picture! and enjoy the ride Because your journey looks incredibly like a trip you will never regret if you always live it picture by picture, moment by moment, experience by experience.

In life it is not where we have been that matters but where we are going...head in the directions of 1,000 dreams and hopes before you die and you will always end up where you want to be.