Burgers and Gelato

Ruby is Two, and Life lately

2025-11-13T18:17:00.003-05:00

My goodness, it has been a while that I have been on my blog! In the days that passed into weeks and moths so much has happened. My daily life with Ruby has changed my life dramatically. I went from having a constant routine, a predicable life and two old cats to suddenly having a baby dog. A baby dog doesn't stop growing or changing when they turn one! They continue being little canine reptiles at times mixed with sweet smart little beings till they are two and start to simmer down.

Little Ruby has been the highlight of my days. We usually start by playing more than I could imagine a puppy needing playing with! She took classes: Puppy Kindergarden, Intermediate Dog, and is in Advanced Training now. She trained for the Canine Good Citizen test but somehow I didn't realize that at six months, she was not going to be a good canine for a long while yet! Her love for people has blossomed more and more each day. She has a special fondness for fragile people, whether they are elderly, in a wheel chair or a tiny toddler hesitating on their next step. Ruby has a keen sense that this is someone special, and she loves going gently to that person and sitting sweetly by them allowing them to pet her. One of our favorite trainings, as a little puppy, was going to a special needs school at a horse farm. There, every morning at 9 AM, adults with intellectual needs would come to work with the horses during the day. Ruby would watch from the distance at the ways they would move, talk, dance or exclaim delight or anger. Little by little, she was allowed to get closer, till the students looked forward to coming to school to pet Ruby.

My life has blossomed with little Ruby seeing this incredible creature that God created. She is knowledgable, and loves to learn.

In other news, the weather here has been changing and is strikingly beautiful this time of year. This fall has been mild and the trees have changed colors so slowly making me incredibly happy to see them day after day.

Ruby Turns One!

2024-09-29T20:47:00.001-04:00

The last nine months with my new golden puppy sped like a clock on fast forward. It's funny considering how much time stands still for years, yet in the span of nine months I could physically see the changes happening in the body of my new puppy, Ruby.

Teething Months: The first few months with her were the most challenging because she was a baby dog and had an incredibly painful tummy parasite that made her extraordinarily grumpy. Not knowing what caused her pain and irritation was frustrating. Her baby teeth finished coming in and she was more than ready to devour all the wooden furniture. Just as her baby teeth settled, and we got the parasites out of her tummy, we had about a month of calm. At her fifth month, her teeth started falling out! And yet again, she wanted to devour the furniture. I never went through anything like this with cats! Fatty and Bentley were interested in scratching couches but I never noticed their teeth! So much could be said about a teething golden retriever in specific. The breed loves to hold things in their mouth therefore you and your clothes, your shoes, your socks, and above all your hands are all things that will go in said golden retriever puppies mouth. I don't think I ever had my clothes tugged and fingers bitten like I had with Ruby. I remember one night sobbing thinking I had gotten a golden shark with my legs and hands covered in tiny bruises from her bites.

Training: The best part of having a golden retriever puppy has been training her.

Her little heart adores "school" and her eyes sparkle when she realizes that she's won at understanding a new word that earns her a reward. Training Ruby has taught me how much we, as humans, need rewards in life to keep trying. Rewards for training a puppy can be a simple piece of food, like a morsel of chicken or cheese. Tasty for sure. However, the real rewards in training a puppy are emotional and life rewards. How true is this for us humans. Ruby adores cheese, but if she knows that responding to the command "Come" gets me dancing and jumping she'll gladly start coming to me me when called, even when she has the option of a squirrel. Her life rewards are toys that she loves. I remember a trainer saying "If only you think its a reward, it's not for your dog and it won't work." So finding what rewards actually mattered to Ruby has helped me understand not only her, but also humanity. What things in life actually matter to motivate a person you love? Is it a conversation? Tea time? Playing a game? Sitting and laughing over old memories till it hurts? Ruby's life rewards and emotional rewards for training have definitely given me food for thought.

Patience: I think Ruby has forced me to be patient. She doesn't know there's a clock on life, and when birds sing, she listens. When the rain falls, she dances in it. When there's a puddle of delicious mud, she goes flying in it. Watching her experience her first year has given life to me. I love that I now do things that I never thought of doing before or ever again! We've gone countless days walking in tall grass in big fields, sniffing new things daily, meeting people of all shapes and sizes to "expose her" but it's also exposed me!

I'm clearly in love with this little golden puppy of mine so I'll boil down some favorites of Ruby.

Favorite toy: the chicken and frisbee. The chicken came first. One day in Lowes, she saw a chicken toy and her eyes lit up. She wanted that chicken with everything in her. I carried her out of the shopping cart and told her very carefully, "Sit....Stay..." She held her little fluffy legs to the ground trembling waiting for the moment to break free. Knowing the prize of the chicken toy was in the balance. After a few seconds I released her and she went flying, mouth open, diving into the squeaker of the chicken. The chicken has been her favorite toy for the last year. He's had multiple patches and I'm afraid he'll need to be replaced soon. She also ardently loves playing fetch with frisbees and will run and run after them till she's tuckered out.

Favorite food: Ruby is a fatty. Fatty would be darned proud. She loves food. She has a "puppy diet" that consists of healthy goodies I make for her and kibble. Her favorites are: cat food (poor cats lost weight), liver, burgers, lamb, chicken, apples, peanut butter and banana. If you mixed all of those in a bowl for Ruby, you'd have a life long pal! If Ruby had to pick a favorite it'd be liver. That girl loves herself some liver!

Sniff sniff sniff.

Favorite activity: getting pet by children and elderly people. Ruby exhibited a high attraction for babies and old people right as a little puppy. She is in a therapy training program with me and will hopefully become a therapy dog in about a year! If she sees a group of children, she's right there with them. Second favorite activity, eating.

Brining smiles to firemen on 9/11

What she doesn't like: Ruby doesn't like tall, elegant, thin women who are running. She'll bark at them and it's embarrassing. She also doesn't care for too many dogs that aren't Goldens. She can spot a golden in the distance and instantly know its "family". Ruby by far prefers humans to dogs. Foodwise, she doesn't like blueberries and will look slightly offended if you give her some. "The heck is this?"

An old boy, but Golden! Old Uncle Yeller!

Liberty, showing Ruby how to play in the ocean

Ruby's love, little Henry

All things considered, the first year of having Ruby has been one of the most joy filled and satisfying years of my adult life. It makes everyday sweeter as I am more in touch with nature, people and having fun ruining in fields of tall grass with my puppy. For everyone who told me not to get a dog or a golden retriever: you were wrong!

Ruby's Routine

2024-02-18T17:07:00.007-05:00

I remember when we got my childhood golden retriever, in 1993, that in those days there were no specialty equipment, enrichment toys, harness for walking, let alone a routine and schedule for the dog. The dog ate leftovers pretty frequently, had a choke collar for pulling and ate dozens of apples in the orchard near our house. I vaguely recall his first few days at home. He was teeny tiny, a little larger than a coffee cup at 6 weeks old and cried every night. Once he got big enough to not fit through the slats of the fence in the backyard, that became his home, except on cold nights he'd sleep in the garage. He wasn't socialized, desensitized or anything. I guess I didn't realize how much has changed in dog ownership in 30 years. When I got Ruby, I was informed by many people that she'd need a scheduled routine. Huh? I barely have a routine! Well come to find out that it actually helps the puppy train into a calmer good dog if they know what to expect during their day. And puppies are baby dogs and need naps! I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I found out as I needed to know things.

Week one with Ruby was the hardest. She was away from her sisters and mom and I had a scared, scrawny and tiny puppy who bit every time I reached for her. I decided to enroll her immediately in the puppy training classes that were offered through Baxter & Bella and start her on a routine. I was told that I needed to be consistent or the puppy would be extra grouchy. Who needs a teething grouchy puppy who potties at the drop of a hat? I was terrified to mess her up so created her schedule. The first few months, Ruby:

Woke up at 6 AM and went potty, trained a little, had breakfast and her vitamin, potty again, play, potty

Napped from 8-10 while I went for a walk and got ready for the day

Woke up around 10 and went potty, trained with me, played and bit me as many times as she could, went potty and I usually needed a break at 11 so I would crate her for a bit to get coffee and catch my breath.

Around 11 I would vacuum the entrance we use to go outside, swiffer and get dinner cooking. Ruby didn't mind the vacuum at all since her breeder got her used to the sound. Around 11 she'd get lunch and play a little before potty

Napped from 12-2 while I wondered how long this would go on and I'd try to catch up on laundry and emails and get some work done. By the time I started focusing I'd hear her wakening up and I'd rush to take her potty.

From 2-4 she'd practice her lessons for a few minutes, chase a ball or toy duck, eat far too much grass and deer poop and bite me.

At 4 she'd go down for her last nap till 6. During that time I'd try to eat some dinner and if I looked in the mirror it looked like I survived camping in the jungles and fighting with dragons. I felt satisfied if I had no new tears in my clothes.

At 6 Ruby would wake up ready to wage war. She'd go potty, attack the grass and her leash, then pounce on the cats, try to chew the couch only to discover counter intelligence knew and sprayed it with bitter apple spray, bite me, do backflips, attempt to practice being a good girl, go potty 3 more times and finally go nuts around 7:30 wiggling upside down with legs in the air.

My hands have never been rougher...

7:30 We'd toss kibble in her crate and say "Good girl RUBY!" while feeling like we'd survived a small shark attack. She'd thrash around growling and barking for the longest 10 minutes while we told each other "Ignore her or you'll train her she gets rewarded for barking" and within 10 minutes her internal light switch would go off. We'd breath a sigh of relief till we heard a yelp, turn and discover one of the cats tip toed to waken her and prance away.

I might add that I would get personally offended if anyone in the house made inconsiderate loud noise to wake Ruby up from her naps. She'd wake up like a piranha and I got chewed up like corn on the cob. "She was napping." I'd huff.

She's nearly 5 months old now and still takes 2-3 naps per day. I usually know she needs one when she starts biting and wiggling upside down. I have to say, having an infant puppy is really tough. They eat everything in site and bite constantly and need to go potty every 30 minutes. Ruby now still eats lots of stuff she shouldn't but she's more aware of my words, she has some basic training down and I have a better idea of what she is up to. She still goes to bed at 7:30 and still goes nuts at "witching hour" in the evening. Now I am trying a toy called a topple that you fill with food and goodies and freeze and let her sniff and slowly eat. I just got it last week after one too many nights I was chewed and not released from her jaws. We'll see how the new topple works. In the olden days, my dad would have simply tossed the dog into the fenced in yard and told us to let him be a dog and stay far till he calmed down.

A Puppy Named Ruby

2024-02-12T20:58:00.000-05:00

After Fatty died, a huge hole was left in my heart. A hole that Bentley too felt every day till he died. It may seem unfair to say that William and Harry didn't fill it, but as much as I tried, there was something missing. They even looked at me as to say "Where is the third wheel?" like they knew someone was missing in the party. Maybe it was the years of hearing Fatty purr against my skin, sitting on me, demanding attention. Perhaps it was the last few months of helping him live. Whatever it was, I missed him greatly and four years went by like four weeks. I knew, in a strange way, he wanted me to have a dog. A demanding, gnawing, energetic, little clingy dog. No doubt he would have loathed such a dog, but I felt compelled to look for a dog. Granted, I am not a "dog person", quite the opposite. I revere my independence and the one that having a detached cat has. Dogs require time, patience and slobber. Yet there I found myself looking for a dog the day after Fatty died. Bentley looked at me and pleaded for me to wait the day I fell in love with a little curly puppy. I cried, I felt awful putting her down and realizing it wasn't time.

That was two years ago and perhaps it still wasn't time, there is never a good time to start anything big, yet nothing changes if nothing changes. And there was a change that had to be made in the flux of my life. I drove down the country hills in southern Maryland and had Fatty's cage in the back, a little red leash I got for Bentley and a huge amount of self doubt and might I add disgust in thinking of collecting warm puppy poop on a daily basis. I walked into the facility and there were four little scrawny undernourished puppies, they were pouncing on each other, rolling and trotting around.

The size of a kitten...I halfway expected her to meow.

I knew before I went which one was mine. I even went as far as making her a little crown.

A few hours later, I found myself somewhat perplexed and driving through cornfields with a puppy smaller than a cat in the cage Fatty used for many years. I had no clue what I was doing but somehow it felt right.

In Fatty's carrier that he traveled to Italy in 13 years ago.

Two months later, and I found my missing piece. William and Harry even make more sense having the new addition. The first few days were challenging to say the least, she only pooped 10-12 times per day. Then, I realized, I was a favorite chew toy. My ankles, arms, fingers and sweaters have all been fair game for my little shark. Within a few hours, the puppy seemed to nap and grow, then nap and grow. I didn't know what to name her and I felt it was an incredible responsibility to give her a name she would grow into and be proud to bear. It took days to name her and every name chosen was wrong. We even tried a few names out for a few hours to see how it felt. One night, four nights after getting her, I was petting her and asked her what her name was, she looked at me and I knew: Ruby. Red Ruby, "Blessed are those who find wisdom and gain understanding, she is more precious than rubies." I'd love to have wisdom and understanding one day, but in the meantime that I'm confused and not wise, I will enjoy the next best thing, raising Ruby. (As she snores in her crate)

Each day has been a whirlwind of seeing Ruby change and grow and learn and grow. The first few weeks she would wake up from naps longer than she was an hour before.

Little jacket a few weeks ago

Little jacket is now a scarf.

I signed her up for training classes and loved seeing how her biggest reward to a new challenge is my response, rather than a tasty treat. She loves it when I go wild when she learns something new like "down" which took forever for her to learn the word but the day she understood that the word equalled the meaning, I went wild with delight.

I could write for hours on Ruby, so maybe I'll blog a little more while she's a puppy to capture these special moments.

In closing, these are currently her favorite likes as well as dislikes.

Likes:

Music: Ruby loves music and noise really affects her mood. I've been trying different music on her to see what she likes best. So far she loves baby Mozart, Patsy Cline's "Sweet Dreams of You" (probably sounds like a dog happy howling), and Strawberry Wine.

Food: Grass, grass and more grass. If you need your lawn mowed, let me know, I'll send Ruby.

Rain: she loves water and blowing bubbles under puddles.

Babies: Ruby gets wiggly and happy looking at anyone smaller than her.

Toy: Her blue ball is currently her favorite, followed closely by an empty milk gallon container.

Snack: diced turkey and apples.

Outing: she loves going to visit our neighborhood horses as well as a local farm.

Dislikes:

Music: She highly dislikes 80's rock, Italian game shows, and George Strait.

Food: Not a fan of broccoli. She'll spit it out immediately and look offended.

Shadows: Shadows scare her. Pooping will come to a stop if she sees her shadow at night.

Construction men: she's not a fan. She loves cops, the mailman, even the garbage man, but any repair man? No thank you!

Least favorite toy: a kong. Hey, I tried everything to keep my arm from getting chewed on.

Outing: She wasn't a fan of the airport. I took her on several field trips and the escalator and luggage bin were scary stuff. To top things off I had the audacity to go in Starbucks and get a coffee and she got nothing. She lost her blessed mind barking after that.

Our Lady of Grandmothers

2023-06-26T20:57:00.001-04:00

It's been a month and 13 days since the volcano Popocatepetl erupted. That morning, the sun shone brightly on Colonia Banjidal, the little house at the end of the cul de sac basked in the morning sun and sharp morning breeze. A hummingbird fluttered over the black rail fence into the garden and hovered by a flower by the window, not any flower, the most precious rose that had bloomed in that house: my Abuelita. And as the blue and white colibri, the humingbird hovered, her veil dropped over my grandmother and she whispered "Come with me, my daughter."

Our Lady sees us all as her babies.

The gentle ticking of the oxygen machine kept going, the sweet morning sun shone steady, and the pathway for a jumbo jet of a soul to take off on the runway was clear. There on the runway of life, went my Abuelita's soul and stood side by side with Our Mother dressed in blue and white calling her daughter home...There was utter silence, the engines roared gearing up for take off, Our Lady nodded in her direction saying "Go!", and on that beautiful morning, surrounded by the beauty of all the rose petals from her garden, the soul of my grandmother looked towards Our Lady and nodded in agreement, "Vamonos!" The sky held steady ready to launch her soul, she picked up pace, flames darting off the ground, and her soul went roaring into the sky, with the wings of hummingbirds and rose petals fluttering around her magnificent soul as it took off leaving the planet she'd lived on for 100 years. The earth shook as she exhaled her last breath, and the volcano erupted. The oxygen tank kept faithfully ticking along in the quiet little room, not letting anyone know the secret it held. The volcano made it on every news channel in the world. What reporters didn't know, was this: the volcano was exploding with the vibration as the loss of an ancient powerful soul left the planet. The soul of a woman who in the strength of her life gave the weakest people the love that only a mother can give, by giving them The Mother.

I hope flying off the planet felt this cool to her.

I'll never forget the weeks before the volcano erupted, I held my grandmothers hand and we talked about her 83rd wedding anniversary party. We made it up entirely, but enjoyed imagining who came, what music was played, how the house was decorated. Granny couldn't believe she had been married for 83 years "To that old man?!" she asked in horror when I wished her a happy anniversary. As the list of party goers were named, she paused and became serious. She closed her eyes and I wasn't sure where her mind was taking her, then she asked "Did my mom come?" I held her hand and said "Yes, your mom came to the party." Granny set her jaw tight and then asked, "What did my mom say?" at 100 years old, my granny who gave life to so many children of her own, and continued giving life to anyone who approached her, was in need of a mother. I stroked her forehead and told her.

"Your mom wore a beautiful blue dress and a veil. She said she loves you very very much, and like the roses in the garden, you are a precious rose. You are her sweet daughter and she was so incredibly happy to see you and she can't wait to hug you." I whispered to my granny. She snuggled under her quilt and signed, "Que bonito." and stroking her hand I led her to nap in that moment with her mom, Our Lady of Grandmothers.

Words fail me to highlight the beauty of this incredibly loving mother of my mother. She was the queen of our family, the queen of our neighborhood, the queen of the community. She taught us how to be moms, how to be wives, how to be businesswomen, how to make things work when all seemed lost, she taught me how to love, how to knit, how to defend myself, how to threaten the life anyone who wanted to hurt a child, she taught me how to make friends and how to avoid bad people. She taught me how to dress, how to dance, how to do my make up and how to feel if meat was good. She taught me the right color of frying food. She was everything every professor of life should be.

I'm not surprised the ring of fire took off starting with el Popocatepetl exploding the day she died. The world truly lost a soul who taught so many of us how to be good women. Long live Abuelita. At one of her funeral masses (oh, there were nine....) they played a song from her childhood "Viva Cristo Rey" it was from the time of war, and Abuelita was a little girl hiding for being a Catholic. I looked at my uncle and tears streamed down his face. We both knew Abuelita sent us the song in the mass and was smiling down from the stars and clouds singing it proudly to us in her native dialect, "Viva Cristo Rey, Que Viva!"

Missing your Child on Holy Saturday

2023-04-08T20:36:00.003-04:00

There's a lot of things that come to mind on Easter, and Holy Week. There's traditions in churches, family traditions, grocery store traditions, you name it. For many it is a colorful spring holiday and a reason to buy chocolate eggs. The depth of Easter culminates in a myriad of meanings, the one central one being simply: love. Sacrificial love of the Father giving us His Son.

The three main points that come to mind today are:

1) Holy Saturday is for missing your kids and having heartache for them like Our Lady did for Jesus. It's perfectly normal to yearn for your family and kids today.

2) Your cross is your vocation in life. Don't even try escaping from it. Not even for daily hours of "churchy things", because that just ends up being performative Christianity while your family is struggling to get basic things done at home without you. Food, hygiene, and preparing for the week go out of the window, not to mention ignoring family finances. This deserves a book, quite honestly. There's a balance between having family life and practically monastic life. God won't ask you to sacrifice your balance in life to be a monk if you are not a monk. If you are a wife, be a wife. If you are a husband, be a husband. A husband can't be a wife for his wife unless she is no longer a wife, and dead or MIA or a POW, and vice versa. I'll put the breaks on here for now. Perhaps at times it would be easier to be a POW than to be married, nevertheless, our vocation is our cross. And that Cross was heavy!

"I need you."

3) The people in your family each reflect Jesus in their soul...so don't treat them like garbage. I just don't understand how some very churchy people treat their own kids and family like they belong in the recycle bin. Where is the heart of Jesus in that? Vocation? I missed that too....Love? Nope...Charity? I think we missed that on aisle 4...Hope? Nada. We picked up despair instead.

I once tossed my doll, Louis, to the side and now he stands over my bed staring at me. Just kidding.

Well, now that we got that out of the way I'd love to focus on point number one. On missing your children and having heartache for them today. Easter, more than any other Holiday is one where I often hear my mom say "I miss you and your brother." It is a weekend I often see a fog of sadness in the eyes of parents who talk about their child away at college, a child that has lost its way, a child even as an adult who is having problems. There is something in watching Jesus carry that heavy cross, get nailed to it and die that sparks pain in the heart of some sensitive parents. In a way, I think the pain of the Holy Mother is shared with us. Today, Holy Friday, her only son was dead in a grave and she missed Him like crazy.

Yesterday, the tradition in the Catholic Church is to venerate, or show respect and love for the physical wooden cross held at the front of the church. Each pew is given a turn to go in a single file and have a moment with the cross. The meaning is profound, in humility to kiss the cross that we have and accept it like Jesus accepted His Cross for us. For us to be selfless like He was with His Cross.

To acknowledge our crosses in life, our struggles, our challenges, our areas that we can't carry, and in the moment of thinking of the cross that Jesus carried, we thank Him for our cross and giving us help to carry it. I wouldn't change my crosses for the cross of anyone else. God handpicked allowing my cross. (Oh! There is a huge difference between a cross that is allowed by God and a consequence of being irresponsible.) Back to the topic, where were we? Oh, kissing our cross. I gave this some thought as well. For me, not having kids is a cross. And not a day goes by that I don't think of kissing the chubby cheeks of my babies lost in miscarriage. Nevertheless, Jesus is present in each human being, in their need for compassion, mercy and love. Sometimes that means loving extra soft to a person near death and wiping the spit up from their mouth as they are unable to swallow on their own. Other-times it means loving with true compassion in speaking truth in difficult situations. To me, this search for loving others has proved to be healing in my maternal heart. I see the call for my love, my compassion, and my gift of myself in moments God gives me one of His children to care for. Do I stop missing my babies? No, but loving God's other babies helps a lot.

I think the basis of missing your child today is especially accurate because it was on Holy Saturday that our Lady was in her heart of sorrows, missing her only child. On the cross, as He was dying he said, "I thirst" and I asked myself this morning how many people in our lives are the suffering Jesus and thirst. They thirst for our service, our love, our generosity of heart, and our words of truth.

I've been lucky enough to have a bubbly sweet mother, a loving relationship with Our Lady as well, and countless women who have shown me what true feminine love and strength are like. Today, if you miss your child and can't reach out to them, be a mom to someone else even for a moment. A text "I'm thinking of you, how are you?" can mean the world to the person who you know needs that heavenly love that you can give.

In missing my six babies that didn't make it to birth, I'm grateful their intense love they gave me is something I can shower on others like falling cherry blossom petals. Have a beautiful and holy Saturday. Know that you too, are a child, and Our Lady loves you and misses you and would love nothing more than for you to spend a little time with her. "Call Mom".

We are like roses to Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women. And Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Kittens in Christmas trees

2022-12-25T18:59:00.000-05:00

Santa had it from the base of his boots to the tip of his Santa hat. He had gotten infinite lists from grouchy people wanting the craziest things for Christmas, some wanted nothing special except for a new couch (of course! something small...yes, the old couch is fine, but what is wrong with a new one?), some wanted the world to turn in the opposite direction to see what would happen, some decided Santa wasn't real so they would wrap whatever unused item they could find in the house for their spouse in a plastic bag and call it a gift. Some people scoffed at the gifts they thought they'd get, and some people wanted nothing because they had already gotten everything the moment the desire sank in. Needless to say, most of these people were on the naughty list! Oh what Santa would write to them if he could, "Dear Sally, I'd love a change of attitude from you this year! I've been good and jolly all year so kind of think I deserve to ask for for you to be grateful and less controlling and critical in exchange for that TV you think you need. Best regards, Santa"

Santa covered his ears, slowly took off his glasses, changed his clothes and under the cover of darkness went to the therapist in the North Pole. It was a gnome who had somehow gotten misplaced there as an elf. As Santa sat and poured out his woes for all the lack of gratitude the therapist gnome listened quietly and occasionally asked Santa how that made him feel? "Well, not very jolly. Some people were horribly naughty... while others weren't naughty enough and sat like growing Christmas moss most of the year. They should have asked me to help them be a little more naughty!" The gnome fully understood, so he said. Secretly, he too would like to be a little more naughty and do something wild like go to the South Pole.

Back at the Santa Lodge rolled William and Harry. They were determined to burst out of Santa's bag of toys and bring gratitude and joy back under Christmas trees. They had seen Santa's slide show of smug faces from people opening gifts they didn't care for, and another slide showing minivans full of last years gifts getting hauled to places called "Goodwill".

The kittens found a hole in the bag and darted out, as soon as both were out they didn't know quite what to do, so they chased their tails for a bit before realizing the mission at hand was still waiting. Off they dashed to the reindeer, pouncing on their backs and digging their little claws in. The reindeer bucked and jumped in pain and took off flying out of the North Pole and towards Maryland. Out the kittens landed on a roof and scampered down it. Once they had landed in a heap at the bottom they shook their little heads, smacked each other a bit and then in a daze discovered the one glimmer beautiful thing that Santa said needed to be filled with gratitude and joy: the Christmas Tree.

For the last week, the kittens have been on a daily reconnaissance mission to restore energy, gratitude and joy in the Christmas tree. Some of the artificial tree has been digested, and subsequently exploded out of one of the kittens (William....) The tree has been kicked, climbed, shaking like as if in a 9 magnitude earthquake. They have loved the lights, adored batting the pretty balls, and admired the tree in its evergreen splendor in ways no human in this house could even if we tried to.

Special Operation Jolly Christmas tree

"Harry, what do you say we climb this thing?"

"I found the entrance to the most marvelous tree on earth!"

"This tree comes with a bedspread and rat sewn on the base?! Way to go, humans!"

"I will dangle from you with my bare claws, you beautiful shiny thingy!"

Where did the kitten go?

Bringing the Merry to Christmas!

"I am redecorating this tree!"

"Duck! I see a DUCK!"

"Never mind me, I'm just looking to tackle that angel on the top of this tree.."

"Table for two, please."

"We'll take a seat on the loft, thanks."

William's expression when Harry told him he named the tree Meghan Sparkle...

"Can we please rename the tree Kate Tinselton?"

"This is not real cat, it doesn't even smell like fun or catnip."

"I'll help you sweep up the mess we made... I actually meant to break your grandmas favorite Christmas bulb. Come on, it was hideous and you know it."

Santa came right away to the kittens stocking

And filled it with little fish

Santa had a good time laughing deep loud belly laughs as he watched the kittens bring unbridled joy and gratitude for the tree. The residents of the house thought the house was haunted and hid in bed. Maybe the ghost had Covid. In the end, Santa decided every house should get kittens for Christmas!

Such dear little things

Meet William and Harry!

2022-12-16T11:36:00.002-05:00

Last week, on December 8th, Santa had his bag bouncing around in the North Pole and out flew two orange kittens into our house. They are red and white Maine Coon brothers and love being best friends during the day and proclaiming war against each other every night. It made perfect sense to call them William and Harry as a result.

"Don't you dare...."

The real story: my mom in law and I decided to go to the animal shelter where I had met and bought Fatty and Bentley many years ago. I wanted to visit the same cat room where I had met my best fur friends. As we approached the building we saw a sign, an actual sign "Free Pets Today". My mom in law looked at me and told me not to wait for her, as getting her motor moving can take a little time. I saw the sense of urgency in her gaze as she glared at a woman dashing towards the cat room. My mom in law looked at me to let me know, I better get in there.

I dashed into the cat room, like if it were Black Friday and all chocolate in the world was free and waiting for me. And as I entered the room, I froze. There, in the cage near where I had gotten Fatty and Bentley were two tiny terrified fluffy faces looking at me. Above the disfunctional noise hearing loud barks from the canine room next door, I tried to think straight. I didn't come for a kitten, what is going on here? I came for closure and to say goodbye to the place that gave me my Fattness and Bentley. History has a funny way of repeating itself, next to me stood the woman I had outrun, looking at the kittens, fully prepared to take only one.

One of the two kittens had a severely broken paw and was much less developed than his brother. No one wanted the hurt kitten, they only wanted the healthy one. My mother in law entered the feline room and I explained to her what was going on as she looked at the kittens. She looked at them and no doubt saw what I saw, Bentley and Fatty looking at us 21 years later in the faces of these scared little kittens. The woman next to us informed us that she was fully prepared to take the healthy one as a Christmas toy for her 3 year old child. My mom in law told me with her eyes to go, and do what I needed to do to take both.

I immediately went to the front desk and provided all the paperwork needed to get both kittens. However, we weren't ready for a cat! We had just thrown out Bentley's litter box, beds, and toys. I didn't even have a carrier with me. My mom in law, who speaks no English, informed me she would stay with the kittens and stand guard while I ran to the pet store to but basic things for them like a litter box and food. She told the woman interested in one, to not pet him, for he was now ours.

The kittens arrived in a cardboard animal transportation box, just like Bentley and Fatty had many years ago. They spent the first couple of days cowering in terror from us, the "monsters", behind the cat crate. We were worried they would never come out. However, they eventually did tip toe out, the sound of food enticing them. We noticed that the healthier one really protected the little one and that they refused to eat without each other. As the days past, we further discovered that they are little climbing, dashing cottonballs.

They love to lovingly nap together from noon to 6 pm.

Little Harry

Little chubby William

From 6 pm till who knows when, they become buck wild lightning bolts, dashing and tumbling, climbing and rolling, squatting, and jumping in the air before landing in a triple lutz and skating away into a corner before dashing out of it again. I swear I burn calories just watching them.

Pest control

The torch has been passed

Welcome home, little William and Harry. We are absolutely in love with you both. May our adventure begin and last many years!

Goodbye to Bentley...

2022-12-04T20:11:00.003-05:00

I can hardly write the title of this blog without choking up with a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes. My sweet old critter went to meet his maker on Friday... He went with dignity and love and surrounded in peace. Knowing Bentley was a joy, pure unbridled joy in my cat. He was happy to be alive from the moment I laid eyes on him till he was ready die.

Guilty as charged... note to self, never get a nice couch with a cat.

I'll never forget the day I met him and Fatty in 2001. It was summertime, I was 19 and had a red and tan 1994 Ford F150 pick up truck with no air conditioning. Going and coming to work and class in the humid Maryland heat was rough that summer. I had just moved to my very first apartment, a one bedroom with a little porch and a walk in closet that I thought was big enough to be a second bedroom. I remember being in my apartment the first few days I lived there with my luggage worth of clothes, a beta fish and a coffee table I got in IKEA. The fish and the IKEA table were clearly poor company. No, I didn't have a bed yet, that came after my first paycheck. One hot summer night I lay there and realized what I needed was a cat, a good, fat grown cat to keep me company and hopefully scare off the squirrels racing around in the roof of the apartment building I lived in.

Off I went to the Anne Arundel Animal Shelter in Millersville, with very little in my bank account but feeling it was well worth a cat. The shelter was a concrete building, and still is, with few embellishments. It has a cat room, and a dog room, and both smell like pet food and bleach. I remember walking in and seeing the solemn rows of felines in cages as if in prison. Some howled, some sulked, some looked pleading for me to take them. I wanted to take all of them. I turned around to see the row on the opposite side of the room. There, on the second floor, was a fluffball with a white nose and white paws that looked very handsome. It was Bentley. He was about 8 inches long but seemed a little fat... as we looked at each other inquisitively, a little fluffy head popped up behind him: Fatty. In his fear for life itself, Fatty had the tendency to curl into his brother and hide, he continued this move most of his life when in fear... We were mesmerized with each other. But I knew my apartment wouldn't allow for two cats, so I stood there just gazing in love.

A few moments later that gaze was disrupted by a rowdy woman and her flock of children who clamored in wanting to get kittens. They stated they had 13 cats and wanted more kittens. Instinctively, I took the purchase cards for Bentley and Fatty and marched to the front desk declaring I'd purchase them. The woman and her children were not happy... I remember I had a few days to get them, while the kennel ran a background test. I remember feeling the weight of this huge purchase of $40, plus food and bowls and a litter box. I knew every last penny I had was going towards my cats and it was completely worth it. I got the smallest box of food to start, I'll never forget, and figured that I'd get more money in tips at the restaurant where I waited tables by the time I ran out of cat food. Oh, the joy of being a poor college student!

Bringing the boys home in my hot pickup truck was so sweet. I promised them on the ride home that I would keep them forever and always and till death would we part. I promised to take good care of them.

My life forever changed. First, I got a bed. Then the cats discovered the bed and that it was a wonderful place to sleep. Then, I moved up in life and got a kitchen table, another bed for the cats. Then, life got fancy and I got a couch, a scratchpad for the cats. And when life couldn't get any nicer, I got Trader Joes food for Christmas (when you're a poor college student, Trader Joes is FANCY). Those paper bags were the best thing that I could have gifted my cats. They discovered the most exhilarating game of hide and seek.

I absolutely loved having them as tiny kittens... Bentley became the "man of the house" soon after I got them. He was my protector and guardian. One day, Fatty sneezed blood. It sounded like a tiny choochoo train. Then he had a massive nosebleed, and coughed blood. He was tiny. I panicked and rushed him back to the shelter thinking the vet there should treat him for free since he was a recent "purchase". Fatty had lost a significant amount of blood, I learned and was very sick. Thankfully the vet treated him and gave me medicine to nurse him back to health at home. I remember bringing Fatty home, weak and grumpy and full of medicine, and having Bentley great us at the door. He yowled and yowled and paced around me demanding to know why I left with his brother. After that day, and while Fatty healed, Bentley became so much more aware of my rhythm and my health. He knew when I was home on time and purred, he knew when I ran late and fussed at me. He knew, even before I knew, when I was coming down with the flu or an illness and would sit on what hurt on my body.

"Come home on time. Don't make me worry!"

When I moved to Baltimore, Bentley would stay up late at night with me, at my side on the desk. As I wrote lengthy research papers for college, Bentley would stay right next to me watching my fingers type. He never left my side till I was finished. Years later, when I had a concussion, it was Bentley who woke me up from being unconscious. He patted my face with his paws and howled till I woke up and called the emergency number. I called him the "man of the house" because he was so good to me, and knew I needed someone to look out for me.

Watching "Cat TV" with ferrets... fearing for the TV, we changed the channel before Bentley pounced.

I'll never forget how on one occasion he attacked a strange neighbor who showed up to my door. My passive, purring, friendly as Barney cat flew at this man in a rage and then scampered around him hissing till he left. I later learned the man was on some "no good" criminal list. Another time I had friends over to watch a movie and one of them found out that Bentley had peed in his shoes. We never saw him again! He did me a favor, that guy laughed at his own bad jokes way too much while people just stared.

I'll never meet another cat like Bentley. He was the stuff good sheep dogs are made out of. Sometimes I was convinced he thought he was a dog and not a cat. Towards the end of his life, he would heard us towards his food bowl. I would be walking in the kitchen and he'd step infant of me, making me step to the side, then he'd do it again leading me towards the stairs and finally howl letting me know what was needed: a second breakfast please!

The beating of his heart is one of the last things I felt. The chest I had laid my head on so many times over the years asking him for advise, figuring he knew better than me. The chest my friends little kids would lay on to feel him purr. That beautiful soft velvety chest had it's little heart beating wildly on Friday. The little heart that loved life with every ounce in him. The heart that gave so much affection and cuddles to anyone he trusted. His soft fur lifted and sank, the birds sang and his ears perked up. He had been deaf for years but suddenly he heard them, he heard them calling him home to Fatty.... and his chest sank breathing out for the last time, and he was gone. With my arm wrapped around him I kissed his head and told him what a sweet boy he was.

Some people say their pets are like kids. Others say they are members of the family. And others that they are our best friends. I think our pets are a taste of heaven. God gave us everything to be truly happy: including dogs, cats, guinea pigs, birds, fish, and even iguanas. Knowing one of these sweet animals so in depth, they way I knew Bentley, is really heavenly. He was so good of heart and a genuine lover of life. He was an incredible loyal friend and the best cat anyone could have ever wished for. People who were not "cat people" walked away from Bentley suddenly saying "I don't like cats, but I like Bentley." Fatty couldn't sell them that!

My heart feels so many things, immense gratitude for having had the honor and privilege to know Fatty and Bentley as long as I did. I'm so grateful God gave them to me. They were my family for so many Thanksgivings and Christmases alone. I'll never forget Christmas 2008 where I (had a real job after college) and got (real) fancy food and Juniors cheesecake. There had been a snowstorm and I remember staying in my toasty apartment on the 8th floor in Baltimore with my two fat boys and cheesecake. No one knew how much cheesecake I ate that week.... almost like competitive eating... except Fatty and Bentley.

Fatty was extremely jealous, possessive and retaliated if he felt ignored. Had he been a boyfriend I would have no doubt gotten a restraining order at some point. Out of control, but very cute.

Playing dress up in my wedding dress with my two flower boys. They weighed as much as farm pigs, if not more.

I'll never forget George, my IT guy at work, who told me about moist cat food with CHEDDAR in it. That was 2013.... the cats thought I brought home kitty McDonalds with crack mixed in. It was delightful. They stared at me like hungry vultures once it was gone.

I hope one day I get to wrap my arms around both and tell them how awesome they are. They were my protectors and angels and forever formed who I am as I type this today. I wasn't myself without my boys. I grew into the lady I am, 21 years with them, day by day figuring out college then jobs and my personal budget and how to be an adult with Fatty and Bentley every step of the way. In a way, they were my parents, my siblings, my brothers, my kids, my best friend, and my conscience. Not to mention my alarm clock at 3 AM....I've never cursed more at a mammal for waking me up than I did at Fatty and Bentley, and they forgave me instantly...

Fatty's paw pad will forever be engrained in my heart, and Bentley's on my face, where he loved to pat me when he knew I needed him most.

The day Fatty died, Bentley patted my tears for hours. Our trio was now a duo and we both felt lost without the Fat Boy.

Rest In Peace, my sweet boy.... apple of my eye, man of the house, and purrball to my soul....

My angel sent from Heaven.

Sarasota and Siesta Key

2022-09-28T11:36:00.001-04:00

As I'm watching the news on Hurricane Ian hitting the gulf coast of Florida, my eyes can hardly believe it. It feels like just a few days ago that we tip toed off a plane to go enjoy our first vacation since Covid began in 2020. We carefully planned the trip, looking for grocery stores and good beaches, booked Bentley into the kitten hotel and took off for Florida. The days on little Siesta Key, off of Sarasota, were nothing less than magical. Topaz and clear water, so clear you could see the fish and even manatees swimming with you. I loved it so much I picked up my drawing pens and drew the places that felt so serene and peaceful to me.

Point of Rocks

I spent hours sitting by the mangrove tree, drawing away

Sketching on a rainy beach day

Vivid colorful sunsets nearly every night were a painters paradise.

The people of Siesta Key are also some of the nicest I've met on the east coast. Many of them, coming to visit on vacation from Ohio, just decided to never leave and set up their shops. On little Siesta Key you can't find any chain restaurants or hotels, just small businesses and family owned restaurants with kind good people. I loved going there. I loved seeing the flag wave. I loved feeling the powdery soft white sand under my feet.

One other place that I greatly enjoyed was the Ringling Museum of Art. John Ringling, the circus entrepreneur, built a gorgeous art gallery in Sarasota. We went on a Monday afternoon and loved seeing the collection that he and his wife acquired. The gallery is so close to the ocean, and I really hope that these precious works of art don't get damaged...

I pray that this storm passes quickly, and that Our Lady, Star of the Sea protects Florida with her mantle.

Birthdays: 21 at 40

2022-08-21T15:59:00.001-04:00

Well, just like that it happened. Bentley turned 21 years old, and I turned 40. We looked at each other with some disbelief and I knew what Bentley was thinking "How did this happen so fast?" When he opened his mouth and surprised me with something I should have expected: a plea for more food, please, make it quick if you don't mind.

2002, Twenty years ago when Bentley turned one and I turned 20.

We feasted on fish today to celebrate his birthday, 21 years later.

I promised myself that I would take pictures of him celebrating his 21st birthday to make the occasion with some festivity. But the reality is that around his birthday, he got awfully skinny and I wasn't sure if he would keep plugging along for much longer. He lost weight (lucky him) from 9 pounds to 5 pounds and looked more like a mouse than a cat. After a trip to the vet, and a change in his medicine I didn't see much improvement till the wise words of my dad, Master Cat Sergeant, fell on my ears, "Listen to the cat!" So I did, I heard Bentley, oh how I heard him... he meowed, he howled, he darted in-between my feet like an Olympic figure skater darting away from my clumsy stomp within fractions of a millimeter. Why? All in the name of food. Indeed, his usual portion wasn't enough, he said. Like Oliver Twist, he was asking for more. I figured, why not give the old thing a bit more? After all, he will die soon anyway so let him have it. So, each time Bently begged for more food, more food I served him. He is now eating three times the amount he ate his entire life! (That can't possibly be healthy! I know, but he is 21... so why not?...) Slowly but surely the increase in food, with an increase in his medicine made him grow from mouse to meatball.

Table for one, please.

Michelin Star restaurant

Pesche al Gattone Amalfitano

Then a few months later, I woke up with a stiff back and it sang Happy Birthday to me as I creaked out of bed, into my flip-flops and went to the mirror to discover a fresh thread of white hair. In years past, my birthday has always been an occasion for huge festivities in this house. My birthday is a month long excuse to eat cake, buy flowers, and whenever questioned respond with the biggest smile, "But it's my birthday!" My creaky back and I contemplated pounding down an array of delicate foods, but at 40, it seemed that any mix of them could be quite toxic at worst, or hard to digest at best. The day was spent quietly drawing in Annapolis.

Lingering questions bubbled to my mind and I quickly silenced them by ignoring them: "What have you learned by 40?" and "How the heck did this happen?" The second question I asked my dad, who in my opinion would be 40 eternally, and his response made sense, "Well, ya didn't die."

Happy Birthday to my lovely mother as well, she gets to party on my birthday just as much as I do!

In Germany, my second birthday :)

I recalled prior birthdays and how much fun, or horrible they were, most of them were fun. Here are a few:

1. Turning 6 years old in San Antonio: my mom got me two pairs of shorts because it was so hot. One pair was pink, one was purple, both had ruffles. I felt like the queen of shorts. I remember we had a wonderful party outside of our house, where all my little neighborhood friends came and we ate what felt like boatloads of cake and ice cream. I remember having a cocker spaniel puppy then, Misty, who was my best friend. I was as brown as a tree trunk from playing outdoors and was convinced that one day I would grow up and sing Dancing Queen with Abba.

My 5th birthday at Abuelita's. I couldn't find a picture of my 6th.

2. Turning 7 years old in Mexico City: my Abuelito (grandpa), took me to the market to pick a piñata. It was a serious occasion and he held my wrist tightly among the traffic as he walked briskly and I jogged to keep up with him. The piñata section of the market was dazzling. No doubt Dali and Frida Kahlo would have loved it. We walked underneath of hundreds and hundreds of pinatas swaying overhead like giant balloons. He squinted at the pintatas with somewhat of a grimace, no doubt thinking of all the little brats that would soon bombard his home, screaming joyfully and shattering his peace. He picked a nice big white and blue bear piñata for me and asked me if I liked it. I loved it. I couldn't imagine breaking such a beautiful piñata. After that, we walked to the candy section of the market that was lined, floor to ceiling, with endless rows and rows of candy and toys to stuff the piñata. Abuelito must have spent a fortune as he requested bags upon bags of different types of candy and little plastic toys. Lastly, we went to the fruit section. He told me that when he was a boy, they filled their piñatas with fruit. He requested oranges from the man at the fruit stand. That evening, Abuelito sat above the party on the second floor of the house, the rope to the piñata to control pulling it up, tightly in his hand. He chuckled to himself as he made it nearly impossible for anyone to break the piñata. He gave the littlest children the easiest time letting the piñata get close enough for them to bump with the broomstick, but when it came to the older children, they didn't stand a chance. He pulled the piñata quickly so high it would have been easier for them to hit the moon than the piñata with the broomstick. Finally, my American Gringo Dad got a turn, old Moose got the broom stick in his hands like a lacrosse stick, he was blindfolded and determined to bust the candy of of this fluffy bear piñata, he swung the broomstick so hard he nearly took out small children. Mothers screamed pulling their little ones behind them, dads laughed watching the Gringo try his best, then my dad swung and hit and broke a lantern in the driveway. But, that didn't stop him, he kept swinging his heart out determined to win the World Series of Piñata breakers.... my Abuelito, no doubt, decided to save the rest of the driveway lanterns, and lowered the piñata bear low enough to let me dad swing and crack it open, saving children, parents, and driveway lanterns from potential harm.

3. Turning 28 in Venice when I lived in Italy. I know... sounds dreamy. It was. I woke up (that's usually a good start on a birthday) and realized that I had a unique opportunity this birthday.... So I called my good friend Megan and asked her if she was interested in coming with me to Venice. She obviously said yes. Thirty minutes later we boarded the train in Desenzano del Garda, and headed east to Venezia. We feasted on typical Venetian fare: McDonalds, cappuccinos, and French bignets. We were both thrilled to be there, wandering the streets and canals, and enjoying the less crowded streets near the harbor. It was a beautiful birthday.

I have a mental list of ongoing things I enjoy and have found that I deeply dislike by 40. No doubt those will change within the next few years. Bentley too has a list of things he enjoys and dislikes.

On his list of favorites are:

1. Constant food

2. Gentle head pats

3. A solid bed

4. Occasional laxative to "help"

5. Couch hoping at 8 to get pet by each person on their couch. Very disruptive to any show.

Dislikes:

1. Energetic puppies....sigh....

2. Being ignored

3. Being left alone for more than 1 hour (Lady, you abandoned me!)

4. Going outside (he no longer enjoys this....)

5. Getting brushed because he's old and everything is sensitive to touch

I have absolutely loved the last 21 years with my old Bentley. No doubt if Fatty were here, I would be thinking of all the things he loved and hated. He was way more picky than Bentley. Thank you for sharing our birthdays with us!

What's Love?

2021-11-17T16:04:00.003-05:00

Today is the feast day of a strong and wild Hungarian Queen who became a saint. A girlfriend of mine in Seattle just reminded me of her feast day (Thank you, Renia!), this woman Elizabeth of Hungary, gave up everything she had out of love for Jesus in the face of the poor.

St Elizabeth of Hungary lay down her crown at the entrance of the church, only God is King, was her thought.

In her life, she lived passionately each day out of the love of her whole heart for the man of her dreams, Jesus. I look at her life, and the meaning of love and ask myself, "What is love?"

When I was a freshman in college, one of my favorite songs was by Ashanti, Fat Joe and Ja Rule (don't judge) called "What's love got to do with it?" I vividly recall speeding down the smooth South Carolina race track, that flat 1/4 mile and cheers of the crowd in my veins in a 1998 Ford Mustang with the music pumping and feeling on top of the world with adrenaline rushing as I focused on the gears, as freshman in college is prone to do, not thinking of the consequences of going 160 mph. The moment that the motor had NOS injected by a button made the motor exhilarate and fly faster. To me, getting the Mustang to go faster was a form of love. I loved the "Stang", I risked my life in that Mustang, no doubt with my daddy shaking his head from a distance and crying over having taught me a darn thing about cars. My daddy, a man of many talents, was known to take me to the car shop to teach his little girl the ins and outs about cars, it was our time together. He had no idea I would soon love learning more about the mechanics of vehicles, (also how to bake, there are mechanics and science there too!) So no doubt, I associated my love for cars and mechanics with my love of my dad. (Thanks, Moose)

I have often thought at Holy Mass that each of us has an altar of love in our heart, which in many cases is not the Eucharist. There is something that we love so much we sacrifice everything for. It can be reputation, and what we hope people think of us. This love of reputation can lead us to sacrifice everything else for the altar of love of reputation: our language, our dress, our actions, our friends, but beneath the surface, is it a worthy altar? Is it love? Another "love" we can have is power, wanting people to know we are the cream of the crop and there is no one more unique than "me", and not one human more expert than "me", the queen bee of "you name it" is right here look no further, you have found the best. This sacrifice to be the best can come at such a cost to the people around us in our family. Even in the realm of religion and faith. How many married women do I know will spend hours in prayer, in adoration, in mass and their husbands are ignored, the relationship grown cold (or freezing) but the husband can't say a thing because it's faith. I could go on and on. The moment the Nitrous Oxide hits any motor, even a John Deer truck, that motor is going to haul at full speed. Another "love" can be a person and doing everything for that one human being to the point of not having anything left to give yourself or others.

So what is love? I look at the crucifix seeing Jesus hang, nailed to death and I know that He is pure love. He is fully sacrificing Himself for us in that total act of love for our souls. While we can't in any way compare to the love of Jesus, I do think that one thing that love is is knowing that we are too weak to be the top, the max, and push ourselves in perfectionism to reach our ultimate self when the reality is only He is Love because only He is capable of being Love. He said, "God is Love."

Knowing that we have problems and knowing that we are so incredibly weak that only He can help us get through our human frailty is part of what love is. Because love is about not only giving, and giving and giving... but being able to receive the perfect love that only perfection can give, only Jesus can give. How hard it is to hug someone that can't hug back? How sad it is to sacrifice your time, energy and talents for the good of someone and they barely acknowledge your existence? In that same way, Jesus was rejected and still loved. So love, today, on the feast of a queen lady, is about giving it all up for the sake of love of Him. Recognizing how very poor we are in the face of true Divine Love. We are incapable of doing anything without Him. We are even incapable of love if we don't accept His love first.

On that note... Alexa, play "What's Love Got To Do with It?" for the memory of the days in the Mustang. (Daddy, it's ok... I only bake now, another trade you taught me and trick like adding a drop of honey in my yeast.)

Light in the Darkenss

2021-11-11T15:54:00.002-05:00

Today is a very special day for me, it is Veteran's Day. A day that honors all men and women in the Military who did something incredibly reckless out of love for total strangers: they offered their lives.

These are ordinary men and women who through daily discipline, honor of their word, and commitment to the people they protect, become extraordinary givers of life to the people in their country. Many times they return from deployment with downcast eyes, nightmares of what they saw, feeling totally disconnected with the family they have not seen in months or a year or more, and connecting with their family becomes even more challenging as they have endured things we would never even want to imagine. A hug can be startling, loud noises can be jarring, and nights become dark moments where one prays for the light of the morning to shine. For that, each man and woman who is a Veteran is truly heroic in their actions. They are willing to be martyred, knowingly, when they are deployed and face a risk of no return... out of pure love.

This morning, I was walking, and I was thinking about the shadows we each have. A dear aunt of mine has told me frequently that each of us has light, but each of us has a shadow... and no doubt about it, there are so many shadows that can seem endless if we see only the darkness. I stood in the sunshine gazing amazed at the fall leaves that had fallen on the ground with deep long shadows before them. Each leaf was bright in color, and each shadow dark in tone.

Do you see more light, or more shadows?

How many times do each of us, in all of the beauty and brilliance we were created to be, fall, like an autumn leaf and lay there on the ground of life feeling that this is as low as we can go....facing the shadow we see only darkness, without realizing that to our back, there is a great light shining on us, featuring our intricate details with which we have been so lovingly created by God's own fingers... Your nose, your eyebrows, your fingertips, your breath, your ability to think and heartbeat are all the brilliance of your being, and were created in total love...

Just like the leaves fall, God allows for us to fall sometimes so that His light can shine more powerfully through us and outline the shadows: they each have a beginning and and end. There is no darkness that is eternal within us because He created us to reflect His image.

Why does this matter on Veteran's Day? Well, my father is a Veteran of war who has an incredibly sensitive heart, love for others the size of the moon, and a unique war story to tell that has cast shadows because he gave his life, out of love for the people of his nation. Him, like so many other Veterans, have uniquely dark shadows. Praise God, my dad has seen the limits of those dark moments and has been covered by the brilliant light of Jesus.

For all Veterans of war...Mary, mother of God, pray for us.

We each in a way carry battle wounds from life, and when we fall, may we not see only the shadow in front of us, but as John Denver said, "Sunshine on My Shoulders" and realize that the light of truth of who we are (beloved children of God) and the light of truth shines stronger and more eternally than any limit of shadows that might haunt us.

Heavenly Millennial saint: Carlo

2021-10-12T16:05:00.008-04:00

I'm sure I am not the only one who has lost a dear friend who was far too young and beautiful to die. Great depressing introduction, huh? No doubt the shock of losing someone so young leaves us feeling the space and time of that beautiful fresh young person froze in time for all eternity, their childlike face engraved and forever young in the eyes of our heart. Today is the feast day of one of those young people: Carlo Acutis, and yet, he is alive in heaven and ready to help intercede in our prayers!

Fr Dan Leary, my prior parish priest, said that we don't pick which saints we like, rather they pick us and send us help, we just have to look for those special moments where we can connect to them or they with us. I have a few saint "Friends" that I talk to and ask for intercession and also saint friends I think are incredible, but haven't clicked with me in the ways other saints have, or maybe we will click a little further down the road in life, who knows.

Among my "saint team" that I turn to for intercession (especially with this blog), is this 14 year old boy who died in 2006 and is on the path to being canonized a saint. Why him? He was pure of heart and helps me with computer and blog issues, that alone will keep him on my "saint team" forever! Seriously, who doesn't want the Patron Saint for Computers on their team? Not only did he die young, but he couldn't wait to die in order to pray for us in heaven. Let that hit you like an explosion of sparkles, and revel in it's beauty. Some saints are craving for us to ask for their help through their prayers and Carlo is certainly one of them!

Carlo Acutis, was born on May 3, 1991 to Milanese Italian parents, he was an only child. At the age of 4 he began surprising devotions for love of God despite his parents not being practicing Catholics: he would ask to go into the church and pray as a little child and lovingly kiss the cross.

He was a normal child and loved to play video games and go out with friends, however there was one friend he was especially fond of: Jesus. Before and after each Holy Mass, Carlo would spend time with Jesus in prayer and reflection of the effect of His life on Carlo's life. He began to fall deeply in love with Jesus and asked at the age of seven to receive his first Holy Communion a year early. As he grew, he began learning to program computers. At the age of eleven, he began to design websites to catalog each Eucharistic Miracle in the world as well as each apparition of Our Lady. He tried to always live in a holy way in the presence of God and seemed to have the right thing to say, without pressure on his friends, when they would talk about their problems. He said our "Aim has to be in the infinite, not the finite."

Soccer team: Carlo, second from the left at the top.

He noticed a lot of his friends had a hard time understanding the Eucharist, and he knew the Eucharist was his "highway to heaven". He traveled to many sites of Eucharistic miracles to study them and document them on his website. He believed the sacrament of the Eucharist was a font of mercy that helped us to carry our sufferings, and the more frequently we received the Eucharist, the closer we would remain to Jesus. He said, "All people are born as originals but often die photocopies of who Jesus meant for them to be."

When Carlo was 15 he came down with the flu and it didn't go away. He was diagnosed with leukemia and which became immensely painful. He knew he wouldn't leave the hospital alive and said he would die happy because he spent his life in ways pleasing to God. He offered his pain for the Pope and the Church. He died on October 12, 2006.

As soon as he died, people began to pray for his intercession in heaven and healing miracles began to happen. Carlo Acutis was beatified in 2020. Four years to the day he died, his mother gave birth to twins.

So, what is it about Carlo that I especially like? Here are three messages he left for us on earth:

1. Frequent confession: Carlo, like many saints, went to weekly confession to stay in the grace of God. Confession can feel overwhelming or make us even shudder at times, but it is truly the gate of grace from God to shine His mercy on our weakness and help us start fresh.

"I went from bad to worse...help me."

"Go and sin no more."

2. Love the Eucharist: His website of Eucharistic Miracles is AMAZING. It is unbelievable that a child put this together. The real and vibrant presence of Jesus is in the Eucharist for each of us.

3. Love Our Lady: Mary is such an incredible woman, mother and friend. I really think that Carlo knew how powerful she is and wanted people to know of her love for all of the world. His website vividly captures the apparitions of Mary through the world.

Carlo, prega per noi. Aiutaci a riconoscere il vero amore di Dio nella nostra vita. Prega per noi, per vivere nella conoscenza della presenza di Dio in ogni momento della nostra vita. Perga per tutti i giovanni e per coloro che sono dipendenti dal computer. Grazie mille per il tuo auito con il mio blog.

Carlo, pray for us. Help us to recognize the true love of God in our life. Pray for us, to live in the awareness of the presence of God in each moment of our life. Pray for all young people, especially those with adiction to computers. Thank you for helping me with my blog.

Happy Guardian Angels Day

2021-10-02T20:50:00.002-04:00

My morning walks the last few days have been exquisite with the sun being just the right amount of sparkly and the cold the right amount of crisp.

Somewhere in between I feel freezing hot and can't decide if I overdressed or needed an extra layer. In each of my morning walks I pray and I walk past the most beautiful inviting wooded area with a stream where I can clearly hear my dad tell sternly me, "Don't go in places where you'll get raped and murdered!" Good ol'daddy instincts...

A wise man.

So, while I stand at the entrance of the woods and stream, I ask my guardian angel to protect me and I use my common sense not to venture in.

Today, October 2, is the feast day of all Guardian Angels.

My guardian angel's favorite place to be is in the Presence of Jesus

I have given mine some good thought because over the last two years or so I have become somewhat closer to him. Maybe it was wearing a scapular that did it, or learning about St. Cecilia and Padre Pio and their relationships with their guardian angels. St Cecilia's is my favorite, she was an early Christian who was tossed into a heated cave to die and her guardian angel covered her with his wings and after three days of hearing her sing her heart out, Roman soldiers took her out. Yes, she did killed eventually, but she had more adventures of safety with her guardian angel as well, such as him protecting her purity.

I was listening to a beautiful love song that no doubt my guardian angel has sung to me, "To make you feel my love", and as I washed my cats dishes I thought about some of the times I am so thankful he was there with me, protecting me. So Guardian Angel, you know the nickname I call you in my heart, this one is for you my forever friend....

Dearest Guardian Angel,

Thank you for being there when I was conceived, and my mom didn't know she was pregnant and started eating so much peanut butter, it could have been the end of me.

Thank you for protecting me as a baby and soothing me when my parents were too exhausted from my constant colicky shrieks to keep up with me. Thank you for protecting me when I was little and would do daredevil things like standing on both rocking horses to jump and fly, climbing trees too high for me and dangling from the tallest branch upsidedown by my knees...

Thank you for saving me when I nearly drowned in that lake in the Alps with my brother, and for keeping us safe when Daddy went to War and mommy didn't know how to drive the Autobahn in Germany.

I was so insanely happy the day he came home.

Thanks for keeping me safe when I would do incredibly stupid things like playing on thin frozen lakes with my friends.

I know you remember all the times I walked in the woods in Washington state and there were coyotes nearby, even though I was terrified, I am so glad you were near me and protected me and my dog. Remember the time I was in the white water rafting accident in Alaska and they couldn't get me out of the water? Thanks for protecting my head from those rocks. In more recent times, thanks for keeping me safe in DC traffic, that alone is just as dangerous and being flipped from a white water raft.

I know I have probably made you shake your head in disbelief and frustration at least 50% of my waking hours but I am glad I now know you're here, you're my friend, you're my shadow and you have been with me since I existed. I know you're rooting for me to do the right thing, to be bold, to be a princess of the King and to never forget how much He loves me. Please pray for me, that I have the courage to live the life He created me to live and to not settle for living for myself or in comfort.

I wish I could give you a meaningful present, or bake you a cake... But from the bottom of my heart, thank you...thank you for never closing your eyes when I have been a little too wild, thank you for keeping me safe in bad neighborhoods, thank you for giving me courage to know I'm not alone when I need to do something that intimidates me, thank you for staying with me all of the times I have been as sick as a dog, thank you for reminding me of things when I forget and I ask you to help me remember what I really should be doing, thank you for stopping me in small moments to look at a beautiful moment and see the love of God for me in it.

Like finding the perfect silky soft cherry blossoms to lay my rosary in..

Or the teeny tiny mushrooms that look like parasols.

Or stopping me to see the most perfect flower in Fr Al's neighborhood and knowing if he were here, he would love its God given beauty too.

I probably owe you so much that I will never be able to repay you, but know that I am so grateful for you and love knowing we have been together since ever and you'll be at my side the last moment of my breath here on earth. I can't wait to see you one day.

Love,

Your Earth Lady

Golden Fall Days

2021-09-23T16:19:00.004-04:00

Padre Pio, on your feast day, pray for us!

Well, just like that, the season of fall began.

Good-bye summer flowers and Old Bay on everything!

Good bye beach!

The temperature dropped overnight from 95 to 55 degrees as if it saw a Montgomery County speed camera. My tomato plants started shivering, as did my 20 year old cat Bentley.

Bentley is not a fan of the changing temperature

The stores in the neighborhood and coffee shops are now, quite literally, stressed in the fest of being pumpkin obsessed.

Shame on you if you have no pumpkin decor is the message they send, which is more like pumpkin mandates, however, mums are still optional but good boosters for your front doorstep. "Forget all priorities and immediately get yourself a pumpkin" is the urgent message. We heard the call for pumpkin mandates and answered obediently decorating our mallard ducks above the fireplace with a few velvety pumpkins that will last years to come. Gourds are for roasting and eating in my humble opinion.

Made with a double pinch of sweetness and a little pinch of salt

There is something about fall in Maryland though that I wish could be shared with the world: it is this little colorful gift from God that slips in so sweetly and effortlessly. The hue from the trees change day to day in a way that reminds me we have a creative artistic God who loves us in the details of each day of our life. He brings brilliant fiery colors, smooth textures and deep flavors in fall food, and even the orchestral sound of a midnight thunderstorm to usher in a new and breezy season to the year.

Each morning I go for a little morning hike and pray the rosary.

Father Larry Swink once recommended stopping if something comes up during prayer that isn't part of your prayer and stay with that meditation. These days the golden sunshine of the early morning slipping through the tall grass by the little creek has me pausing my prayer.

Breathtaking

I am not sure that is what he meant, but it sure speaks of God's power to me, how He can shine rays of His infinite love not just on one blade of tall wheat grass but on all of them and how even so He makes each one grow independently of the rest, just like He shines His face on us at each Mass in the Eucharist and makes our faces light up with the beautiful reflection of the Son. I think about that when I stop to look at the golden sunshine filtering in the field of tall wheat grass, and I thank God for loving me so much to make mornings beautiful and wheat grass so elegant, tall and shimmery.

The other thing that I have been thinking about, apart from grass, are on the gifts of people that God sends into our lives. When I see the grass mowed and beautiful flowers go through that, I wonder if anyone stopped to enjoy them besides the dogs on their walk. It makes me think of all the people in our life who are true gifts from God, no matter how loud, ornery, or routine they might be. Each one of them is like a flower created out of joy and love and allowed to be in our life to give God praise in His creation. Now, that human gift might be a giant challenge at times, but there are so many qualities and struggles that often go unnoticed among friends and especially family that it is like passing by a gift without noticing or without going past the wrapping paper.

With my volunteer group, the Gabriel Project Cluster of Montgomery County, I notice the gift of self so very much. So many of the moms that I am assigned to help choose life through their pregnancy and assist for months afterwards are really incredibly strong women who help me. The people in their lives don't see them or their unborn child as a gift, they see them as a giant challenge and stop there. They demonstrate beautiful vulnerability in opening up to a stranger, they demonstrate the rejected pregnant Mary with baby Jesus looking for an Inn where to sleep, and they demonstrate complete and total faith in the providence of God when they choose life. My weakness is so uplifted after spending time with each one of them and I feel like the face of the Son shown on the tall grass of my soul making it shiver with joy and delight.

My old man and I meeting for the first time.

Basking in the rays of the Son

9: Mother of Sorrows: For the 13 Loved and Lost Children

2021-09-14T16:46:00.005-04:00

This last post of my novena to Our Lady of Sorrows is dedicated to the parents of the thirteen Military service members, their children, who died in the Kabul Airport blast on August 26, 2021.

All prayer roses gone, sent to places of pain and suffering with the love of Our Mother of Sorrows who understands.

Mary's last sorrow was the preparation of the body of Christ and His burial. I absolutely love something she told Saint Bridget of Sweden when she appeared to her. Our Lady told her, "Though I felt a grief over the death of my Son that could not be compared to any other, I also rejoiced in my soul, because I knew that my Son would not die again, but would live forever. Thus, some joy was mingled with my sorrow when He was placed in the tomb."

The only joy that comes from death, from burial of a child, is knowing that our children can't die again and that Christ died and rose so that we might rise again with Him. The paradox of burying a beloved child and the sickness from sorrow does in fact mingle with prayers in thanks for the hope of heaven with our beloved Creator for only that is worth the pain of death. This life, when we chose to be Christian, does ask us to carry our cross daily and follow in the footsteps of Christ: in faithfulness, in being mocked for our faith, in being misunderstood, but also in resting in the joy of suffering that can be redemptive. I often think of all the suffering I went through in years past that I didn't know could be used as a prayer of suffering for someone I love. Now, when I suffer, I know the bigger the pain I bear the more I can offer that for someone. Recent dentist visits have offered lots of opportunities for my pain to be a prayer united to the cross of Jesus.

For this last prayer rose, I took it from Mary's bouquet and headed to the famous Section 60 in Arlington Cemetery where most of the thousands of graves are from men and women who died in Afghanistan. Twenty years of death.

Hundreds of Marines arriving for the solemn burial of one recently fallen.

Alive in eternity

It was overwhelming to choose which grave to place a rose on. I prayed silently as I walked through the rows and rows of young people killed. I stopped and touched their names. One grave stood out to me, there was a kiss on his tombstone. With so many recent rainstorms and even a hurricane, I knew it was a fresh kiss... the kind of kiss you leave someone's grave who never leaves your heart, not even for a day. The love felt there was the kind of love I felt on a special day I lost someone I loved on October 12. It is a love I'll never forget and a love I can recognize in others pain.

For Benjamin, his family, the sorrowful heart of the person who left the kiss, and all other soldiers of this tragedy.

When Jesus was buried, Mary revealed to St. Bridget of Sweden that two hearts were in that grave, hers and the heart of her Son. Seeing the kiss on that grave made me see the heart of the person is with the fallen soldier.

Mother Mary, your heart was pierced with so many swords. Comfort these families who have just had a sword pierce their very hearts.

Day 9: For the honor of the lost children, Military service members lost in Afghanistan

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Holy merciful Father in Heaven, hear our prayers today. Mary, Mother of Sorrows, please intercede for us today as we pray for all souls lost and buried at the bombing attack in Kabul. I pray for all Military families who lost a soldier in Afghanistan, have mercy on them. I pray for all Afghans who lost a family member in this very long war, comfort them, Mother of Sorrows. Merciful Father, eternal rest grant unto them, and perpetual light shine upon them. May these souls and the souls of the faithful departed, through your mercy, rest in peace.

Mother of Sorrows, please intercede in our prayers especially for:

The family of Maxton Soviak, come to their assistance, Lord.

The family of Hunter Lopez, comfort their affliction, Lord.

The family of Rylee McCollum, be with them in their affliction, Lord.

The family of Daegan Page, give them strength and uphold them, Lord.

The family of Kareem Nikoui, hold them in the palm of your hand, Lord.

The family of Ryan Knauss, wipe their tears and hold them in your heart, Lord.

The family of Jared Schmitz, JareBear, hide them in your most Sacred Heart from all evil, Lord.

The family of Taylor Hoover, sustain them and give them hope, Lord.

The family of David Espinoza, leave them not alone in this deep valley of unending tears, Lord.

The family of Johanny Rasario Pichardo, bring them your light in the darkest moments, Lord.

The family of Nicole Gee, may her life give them rivers of joy in the hope of heaven, Lord.

The family of Humberto Sanchez, may they be aware of your presence and love for them in this moment, Lord.

The family of Dylan Merida, don't let them feel abandoned, make yourself known to them, Lord.

Mary, Mother of Sorrows, and Comforter of the Afflicted, please be at the side of the families of these Military service members. Show your maternal love for them, cover them with your holy mantle of protection. I pray for all evil to be far from them and for their hearts to turn to the Hope that Jesus gives us in His most Holy Death. I pray for their holidays, for the birthdays, and for the moment that they put away the clothes of their child that will never be worn again to be moments you are very close to them in their sorrow.

Mother of Sorrows, I pray in a special way for an intention that I ask for your help in prayers with, my intention of (Name your intention), please pray for me with your most perfect motherly Immaculate heart.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be a world without end, Amen.

8: Mother of Sorrows: For surviving family and also souls responsible for death

2021-09-13T08:55:00.001-04:00

Depicted in the famous marble sculpture held in St Peter's Basilica in Rome is the Pieta by Michelangelo, capturing one of Mary's sorrows after Jesus died. It captures the moment when Jesus was gone, His spirit had left His body, and His mother had not left His side for one moment rather stayed and wanted to hold her only child.

Mary, Mother of Sorrows, hears all of our prayers of sorrow.

I have often thought of Mary, Mother of Sorrows, with that beautiful sculpture as it has spoken to my heart as a mom but also brought peace to my heart. Mary understands the overwhelming pain of holding in your arms, or sometimes a little baby in your hand, the one you love and would give anything to have their life back, their heartbeat going strong. In that pain, in that grief is a moment of something divine that we share in the pain of Mary. When we suffer from something outside our control it is a chance to offer that suffering, deep and immense, as part of redemption on the Cross for someone. Many graces can come from offering our pain as a prayer in the same way Christ did, in the same grief stricken way Mary did.

That awful moment of grief where you feel you can't move because it will just make everything worse is understandable to Mary. No doubt, with her blood covered hands, she held her Child with love and horror and felt sick to her stomach but never left the promise of God in a life beyond this one that only offers temporary joy surrounded by trials and frustrations.

The great paradox of Mary's sorrow is that she loved Jesus executioners deeply through her sorrow. She loved Pontius Pilate just as much as she loved the Roman soldiers who nailed him and the crowd who begged for his death.

Today, I took the 8th rose for the Novena and decided to drive to a place where people responsible for death live: the state jail, in driving there I passed by the Capital Building in DC and paused for a moment to think. And yes, there was Pontius Pilate in the Capital, the same way the ruler was responsible for condemning Jesus to die is the same responsibility all rulers assume when they choose death.

One more left

I pray for the leaders in there, for their hearts to convert.

I pray for all prisoners who have killed and also all who are innocent and imprisoned.

Today I'd like to pray for family who have had to identify the body of their loved one, as well as for the people responsible for the death of others.

Day 8: For surviving family and also souls responsible for death

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Holy Father in heaven hear our prayers today and Mary Mother of Sorrows intercede for us. Today I would like to pray for all people who have venom in their hearts towards anyone and wish them death. I pray that they seek humility and forgiveness for their arrogance and distain for life. I pray for all Afghan parents who saw the bombing at the Kabul airport and survived to see the lifeless bodies of their fellow countrymen, I pray for their healing and comfort through Mary, Mother or Sorrows. I pray for each serviceman in the Marines, Navy and Army who also survived that attack and was affected by the magnitude of death that surrounded them. I pray for the survivors who are injured that Mary might intercede for their mental and physical injuries. I pray for all Afghan children who have identified a dead parent and all parents who had to identify their dead child. I pray that through the sickness of their grief they might be comforted by Mary and have them rest in her arms that held death and held the Son that would rise. I pray for all survivors to feel the maternal love of Mary and the hope that this life in bitterness and death is not the end, but the beginning with hope for heaven. I pray for all politicians in the Capital in DC who take prideful or cowardly decisions that are responsible for the deaths of innocent people. I pray for their conversion and to see each life as intended and sacred. I pray for their healing from addiction to power, greed and self-centeredness. I pray for all prisoners in jail who have taken the life of someone, I pray that they repent and have a conversion of spirit to use their error for God's glory in changing their hearts. Lastly, I pray for all innocent people who are in jail. I pray for justice to be served to them and for them to walk this cross offering it in redemption with Jesus for the world and it's injustice.

Holy Father, if it is your Divine will please allow Mother Mary to intercede in my special petition of (Name your petition), if it be good for me and my soul, amen.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Hail Mary, full of grace the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end, Amen.

7: Mother of Sorrows: For the murdered and killers

2021-09-12T20:28:00.001-04:00

Vocabulary: Intercession: Asking a saint in heaven to pray for you the same as you would ask a friend here on earth to pray for you. Big difference: the saint is already in heaven and their prayers are more pure as only the pure in heart are in heaven.

One of my favorite saints is a local priest who is known only in Maryland, and has yet to go through the formal canonization process to have his name be preceded with "Saint", but to me, he is a saint nonetheless: Father Tommy Wells.

Fr. Tommy, local saint.

He is the happy priest of Maryland that I have a soft spot for in my heart. Why? He was and is lighthearted, faithfilled, with a strong sense of humor and solid fatherly love in direction. I called on Fr Tommy for intercession in 2020 after hearing of how he interceded for a friend with a brain aneurism that was dying and called on him for help and overnight was healed. I went to visit him and say thank you for my little miracle. The first time I sheepishly went to visit Father Tommy's grave I met an older man who had just buried his wife. The man looked at me and said, "Aim high! Father Tommy loves to intercede with miracles!" That I know...Father Tommy does intercede big time and has for my family and also for my dear friends. However, a loving and solid priest like him ended up in the graveyard by a most tragic gruesome event: He was brutally murdered. Now, he's joyfully in heaven interceding for us and praying for us to stay strong.

Mother Mary of Sorrows, lived the very sorrowful event that the Wells family lived in horror that day on June 8, 2000. She saw her tortured Son, Jesus, have each hand nailed to a rough wooden cross and his feet, that she saw patter as a baby, nailed to the foot of the cross for all to see. Mary, mother of Priests and Mother of Sorrows was with her beloved son Fr Tommy the night he was brutally stabbed to death. All the earthly life lifted from him as he united to the glorified Jesus, Mother Mary and the angels and saints in Heaven.

Today, I would like to pray for families of a loved one murdered. I picked a 7th rose from Mary's bouquet and drove it to the peaceful little hill where Father Tommy's body lies. He is under a big old tree and the only noise are the crickets. I sat by his grave for a while and prayed for intercession in having wisdom and steadfast faith.

Two more rose prayers left

The road to Fr Tommy's grave is like walking in a cathedral of trees.

I wonder how old the tree is and how many weddings, baptisms and funerals have passed underneath its shade.

Tea for two. Father Tommy, we need help down here, pray for us...

A rose for my friend, mentor in joy and saint in heaven, Fr Tommy.

Day 7: For the murdered and killers

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Father Almighty in heaven hear our prayers and our hearts, Mother of Sorrows intercede for us in our prayers today. Today I would like to pray for all people with the intent to kill. Mother of Sorrows I pray for their souls to have a deep and meaningful conversion. I pray for them to have the awareness that the life created that they wish to kill is not theirs to touch. I pray for Father Tommy's killer, Robert Lucas, to have a deep and meaningful conversion in prison and for him to value his life as a gift from God. I pray for abortionists souls, for their conversion. I pray for doctors who perform killing through euthanasia, for their conversion. I pray for the souls of people who think for any reason it is ok to end human life. I pray for the souls of all people filled with hatred and venom that they empty their vessels of poison and fill them with the water of Christ that died for each soul no matter how venomous or hate filled. I pray for the souls of innocents intentionally killed in Afghanistan. I pray for people currently in internment camps where they might be killed: for the Uighurs, Kazakh and Kyrgyz ethnic minorities in China and all people in the world who might die by abuse of slavery. I pray for an end to the death penalty in the US and for all prisoners in this country. I pray for their souls to see the cross they share with Christ. Lastly, I pray for the souls of all victims of the attack on September 11, 2001. I pray for those souls that went to purgatory who have no one to pray for them. And I ask, Mother of Sorrows, for healing from any resentment and venom in the hearts of surviving family of victims.

Father Almighty, You've given us all good things and all You ask in return is our weak and broken love. I love you above all things and ask through the Intercession of Mary Mother of Sorrows for my petition of (Name your petition). I ask for the gift of increased faith and if it be good for my soul for this petition to be granted. Mother of Sorrows, please pray for me and for my soul.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end, Amen.

6: Our Lady of Sorrows: Meeting on the way to Die

2021-09-11T17:45:00.000-04:00

I wish no parent would have to outlive their child or see their child die. One of the comforters for parents who loose a child is Mary, Mother of Sorrows.

It is truly one of the worst nightmares for parents is to have their child die. Mary, Mother of Sorrows, had her only Son, be tortured and killed right before her eyes. She didn't let her fear of seeing Him stop her from being with Him in His agony and stop her from seeing Him be abused and beaten. She didn't shy away from the disgust and pain that she felt in seeing her child die.

One of Mary's sorrows was in meeting Jesus face-to-face amidst a bustling crowd of loud people pushing him on the way to His death on the hill at Calvary. Jesus was beaten beyond recognition and was dragging His own cross to be nailed to (for love of you and me) and on that path to the hill, stood his mom. She caught sight of Him and they stood looking at each other for a few moments and as St Liguori says, "Jesus and Mary looked at each other, and their looks became as so many arrows to wound those hearts which loved each other so tenderly."

I can imagine, it is with unutterable tenderness that a parent looks on at a child they love from the bottom of their heart as that child is on their way to meet God in eternity.

Today, I took a 6th rose and took it to a place where many children of God meet eternity: a Hospice Home. No doubt most of the patients here are adults, but they are children all the same. Children of God in need of tender looks from Mary, Mother of Sorrows, as she comforts her children on their way to end the life here and pass on to eternal life.

Three more prayer roses

For everyone in palliative and hospice care, put your mantle on them, Mother of Sorrows.

Day 6: Meeting a child on the way to die

In the name of the Father, and Son and Holy Spirit, Amen. Holy Father in Heaven hear our prayers from the depth of our heart as we ask for intercession from your most Holy Mother of Sorrows. Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us. Please intercede today for the parents of all US Soldiers who died in action during the Afghanistan conflict. I especially pray for the parents of the 13 killed in the blast in Kabul. Place your maternal mantle on those mothers and fathers and comfort them. I pray for an increase in their faith so that they can have hope for eternal life without pain and suffering. I also pray for the parents of all Afghanistan soldiers and fighters: Taliban soldiers or Muhajideen Taliban-resistance fighters. I pray for their parents to be consoled and for the hearts to be blessed with openness to conversion in faith Jesus Christ who redeems us from all sin and suffering. I pray for the conversion of all souls engaged in war for them to have an understanding and steadfast belief in God almighty who created us all in His image and likeness. I pray for families of all soldiers suffering from PTSD, for those families to be safe, to have confidence in God's purpose for each of our lives, and for compassion towards their family member with PTSD. I especially pray for Afghan mothers and father who have or will witness the torture and death of their child, like you did, Mother of Sorrows. Let their grief rest on your shoulder and hold them, sustain them and pray for them. I pray for all parents in any situation who have their child die before them. Loving Mother of Sorrows, comfort them and I pray for an increase in their faith in God, hope in eternal life, and love in Jesus who will sustain them. Lastly, I pray for all children of God in hospice today. I pray for their guardian angels to be near them, and for Our Lady to comfort them. I pray for those souls to have Holy Deaths.

If it is the will of God the Father, I pray for my special intention of (Name your intention). I pray most Holy Mother of Sorrows to intercede for my very special intention and grant it if it is good for my soul and the souls of those I am praying for.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end. Amen.

5: Our Lady of Sorrows: Missing child

2021-09-10T16:30:00.000-04:00

Have you ever lost something or someone and looked desperately for them? I remember getting separated from my dad and brother in Disneyworld once and how my mom and I spent all day looking for them rather than going on rides. We were incredibly worried that something happened and were so happy to find them that we didn't care about the rides and fun we missed.

One of Mary's Sorrows was a day she and Joseph were traveling with Jesus to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover when something happened.

Art by Rose Datoc Dall

On the way home the found that Jesus was missing. They looked for him for three day in anguish wondering if He was ok. After three days, they found Jesus in the Temple, in deep conversation with spiritual teachers. Jesus was surprised that Mary and Joseph were distressed looking for Him and said, "How is it that you sought me? Did you not know I must be about my Father's business?" (Luke 2:49).

What I imagine it was like for Mary to find Jesus.

The spiritual parallel to this event is when we feel distanced, having a dry spell from the Lord in our hearts and have a yearning to have the comfort of Jesus spiritual nearness but don't feel Him near to us. It is a reminder that God doesn't leave us. He asks for us to trust Him in the midst of our anguish. Mary revealed to Ven. Mary of Agreda that "The Lord absented Himself from me in order that by seeking Him in Sorrow and tears I might find Him again in joy and with abundant fruits for my soul."

Now, in the chaos of the world and climate of humanity, is a perfect time for people to feel discouraged in their nearness to God. It is so important to seek Him! Don't wait for Jesus to reveal Himself, but do as Mary and Joseph did and seek Him. The only thing that can separate us from God is our choice to willfully sin without contrition because God doesn't live in sin. Sin separates our soul from God. When we confess our sin and receive absolution then there is no sin blocking us from Him. Seek Him out daily, through the day and stop in moments during your day to be aware of the presence of God with you. God doesn't abandon us, it is we who are weak and often choose sin over Him.

I chose a fifth rose and took it to a child who went missing from his parents: the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery.

Four prayers in roses left.

On our way.

There are three soldiers from three wars buried at the Unknown Soldiers graves: WW1, WW2, and the Korean War. For each of these three soldiers there were three sets of parents who waited for days, weeks, months and years to have their beloved child return to them. They waited with crushed hearts and I hope that they called on God for strength in their hardest moments.

A sea of people living in eternity.

Three unknown soldiers sarcophagus and grave. In the inscription, "Here rests in honored glory an American soldier known but to God."

A rose prayer from Mary, Mother of Sorrows, for the missing.

Day Five: For Missing Children

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Holy Mother of Sorrows, intercede for us today as we pray for families. I pray today for mothers and fathers who don't speak to their children because of fighting and wounds that are not healed. I pray for those families to give the gift of forgiveness, I pray for humility and for them to desire to have peace more than to prove their point is right. I pray today for children and teens who ran away from home. I pray for their safety. I pray for all children and teens who are being used for human trafficking, and worse... I pray Holy Mother of Sorrows to please protect these children and to bring them home or to loving nurturing homes that will care for them in their development. I especially pray for the hundreds of children saved from Afghanistan who are without parents, and those children who are being held in other countries. I pray for them to be treated well and for them to treat each other well. I pray for the older orphans to care for the younger ones and for the little ones to be patient and well behaved. I pray for all parents who had a child in Afghanistan go missing. I pray Mother of Sorrows for you to console their hearts and protect their child and bring the families back together. I pray for parents who have a child in the military and their child has been unreachable. I pray for the safety of their child and for mothers and fathers to be reunited soon with their sons and daughters. I pray for children who have parents in the military to have the comfort of Our Father and Our Lady as their parent is on tour and away from them. I pray for their protection from evil, and for their homes to be places of refuge and safety. I pray for children of divorced parents who had a parent leave and not know where their parent went. I pray for healing in their hearts and to have a strong faith in God our Father and our Heavenly Mother as their parents and comforters. Lastly, I pray for adult children who have elderly parents with dementia that can no longer recognize them as their child. I pray for these adult children to rest in the full awareness of eternal life where their childlike parent will arrive and be fully alive and fully aware and well. I pray for the patience of adult children of parents with dementia, for them to see the miracle of the relationship in fragility with their mom and dad as an extension of Christ's suffering on the cross.

Holy Mother, I pray for my special intention of (Name your intention) if it is the Divine Will of God the Father. Please hear my petition, pray and intercede for me.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end. Amen.

4: Our Lady of Sorrows: Trail of Refugees Sorrows

2021-09-09T16:05:00.000-04:00

Migrants and refugees have a special place in the heart of Mary and escaping persecution to Egypt is one of her sorrows, as a mother, wife and refugee.

Escaping in the middle of the night.

Even the most beautiful flowers hold tears from the rain.

She was a refugee of persecution when she along with St. Joseph and her little toddler, Jesus, fled persecution to Egypt. After Jesus was born, the three wise men made the mistake of going to Jerusalem thinking that the King of the Jews would be there. They were mistaken and simply made King Herod furious to think of a baby boy stealing his crown. After they continued to Bethlehem, where baby Jesus was, King Herod ordered to hunt down baby Jesus and for all baby boys under the age of two to be killed, just to be safe that the baby "king" was dead. Imagine being a mother and knowing the king is hunting down your baby...and having to escape with nothing to a foreign country with no food, no job and not knowing the language. That is what Mary did and it is one of her sorrows. She especially suffered knowing how special her Child was and that He was God, the long awaited Savior, being hunted down.

St Joseph was told in a dream by angels to escape, right then and there in the middle of the night. He quickly got Mary and baby Jesus on their donkey and took off to Egypt.

No gas stations to grab a snack and drink, no comfort, and no home to arrive to.

St Bonaventure describes the road they traveled as, "Rough, unknown, and little frequented." "As they were destitute," says St Basil, "It is evident that they must have labored much to provide themselves with the necessities of life." Like most refugees who escape with little or nothing and don't know where their next meal will come from or their next bed, Mary went through the same thing.

Mother Mary and Jesus the Savior, not knowing where their next meal would come from.

I was looking at my tomatoes in the garden and thought of how natural they looked there in their "homeland" on the vine.

Give a safe voyage to all people displaced from the land that they know as home.

I took a fourth rose and asked Our Lady to intercede for all refugees in the midst of their journeys right now. I drove down to the place where thousands of them are near me, the Dulles Expo Center, and prayed for them. As I arrived, there were ambulances outside loading in someone who wasn't feeling well. I prayed for that person, not knowing who they are. No doubt, if it were me, I would have lost my bearings by now.

One of many military aircrafts landing lately in my community.

Bringing a fourth prayer rose from Mother Mary to her children.

Just a few more left

Mother Mary, bring comfort to all your children living in there and in various refugee holding sites. Please bless and comfort the person who was being taken away in the ambulance.

Day 4: Mother of Refugees Sorrows

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Holy loving eternal Father who loves us with infinite love and unending mercy, hear our prayers. Mother of Sorrows intercede in our prayer today as you hear us calling to heaven for mercy, for compassion and for comfort. Today, Mother of Sorrows, I would like to pray for the migrants and refugees from Afghanistan. I would like to pray especially for the conversion of all Taliban who might have entered the USA and for refugees to know the love and promise of God, and the promise of a life beyond this one with pain and suffering. I pray for the healing of each of their eyes and their hearts from what they saw that was unspeakably horrible and traumatic in Afghanistan. I pray for the quick, safe and comfortable availability of homes to be made for these families and for the people who are working to find them homes to have patience in the process. Mother of Sorrows, the immigration paperwork is so cumbersome to process, I pray for the immigration paperwork in USCIS offices for all children and orphans that are currently being held in the United Arab Emirates, Kosovo and other Afghan holding sites. I pray for their paperwork to be accepted and for the USA to accept all the hundreds of children and orphans. I pray for the basic needs of Afghan refugees to be met: food, shelter and hygiene. I pray for the safety of Immigration officers and for them to have the gift from heaven of wisdom, and clarity. I thank God and all saints who intercede for all USCIS agents and Border Patrol who have treated refugees with kindness, efficiency and compassion.

Today I pray for the intercession of Mary in my special petition of (Name your intention). Holy Mother, please intercede for me, please pray with me and for me for this intention if it be the will of God our Father. Amen.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women. And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end. Amen.

3: Our Lady of Sorrows: Prophecy of Simeon: Unexpected Sorrows

2021-09-08T16:02:00.001-04:00

There's been so many times in history that a statue of Our Lady sheds miraculous tears.

These flowers, on my morning walk, made me think of Mary's femininity.

There have been over 20 statues of Mary that weep and several dozens of paintings. People often ask themselves who put the tears there intentionally, and although some have been intentionally misleading, many are genuine unexplained miracles. What could Mary cry for? She was perfect, immaculately conceived without sin, the Mother of God, why could she be sad or cry if she were perfect? Well, it just goes to show that Mary, in her perfection, lived and lives the emotions God gives to us. Her maternal heart weeps for her children: for you, for me, and especially for those who suffer and are bound to their sin.

Our Lady of Akita, Japan is one of many weeping statues.

When Jesus was a tiny little baby, Mary and Joseph followed the Jewish law and took Him to the temple to be dedicated to God. There at the temple was an older man named Simeon who was devout and righteous and the Holy Spirit had revealed to him that he wouldn't die till he met the Messiah. Well, on a beautiful day Mary and Joseph entered the temple with their little bundle of joy, Jesus. Simeon, recognized this little baby was the long awaited Messiah, and approached the young family and then told Mary somethings she didn't expect to hear: "This child is destined to be the cause of many in Israel to fall, and many others to rise. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose Him. As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul." (Luke 2: 34-35)

Mary, therefore, understands the sorrows of parents when they hear news of their child that feels so painful it is like a sword piercing their very souls. In the honor of Mary's sorrow having Simeon reveal that her soul would be pierced with pain, I would like to pray today for Mary to intercede in the lives of her children who have unexpected sorrows.

Today I took a third rose from Mary and went looking for a ghost bike, where a cyclist has died. The ghost bike I looked for had been removed, or stolen. So I went back to my neighborhood and placed the rose where one of my neighbors met God: at a tree. One fine day my neighbor left his house, turned the corner and met the tree and God all in one place. There is no memorial and nothing unusual about that spot except the tree that lost a little bark. I thought of him, of his old vintage Mercedes, and thought of how special a place is where a person meets God and all the angels in eternity. I prayed for him. May God have mercy on his soul.

Day 3: Unexpected Sorrows that Pierce the Soul

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Holy Father, hear and answer our prayers through the intercession of the Blessed Mother of Sorrows. Holy Mother, today I come to ask for intercession in prayer for people who have experienced unexpected news that brought their souls sorrow. I ask for the parents of unborn children who have been diagnosed with an illness, for God to strengthen them and comfort them showing His mercy in each day. I pray for them to see the precious value of their unborn child with special needs. I pray today for children who have been hurt in accidents, and for their parents to have comfort and wisdom as they are in the hospital. I pray for all people who have been in cycling accidents and for the relatives of those who have lost a family member in a bicycle accident. Mother of Sorrows, be near to them and comfort their hearts as they heal from these wounds of heart and body. I pray for parents who will loose a young child unexpectedly, for Mary to put her mantle of strength and comfort on them as they go forth in the days to come without their child. And Mother of Sorrows, I especially pray for all Afghan mothers who unexpectedly had their child die while leaving or trying to leave Afghanistan. Please protect those Afghan mothers and reveal yourself to their hearts and comfort them.

I pray for my special intention in this novena (Name your intention). If it be the will of God the Father Almighty, please intercede for me and for this intention, Holy Mother of Sorrows.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end. Amen.

2: Our Lady of Sorrows: Birth in Poverty

2021-09-07T16:20:00.000-04:00

It is another bright and beautiful day today. I wasn't expecting to be called to pray another novena so soon but am really enjoying this one so far! "Another novena?!" I thought, and as days past it was abundantly clear I was being asked to pray this one. When your heart feels unexpected pulls in places of pain, especially when they wake you up at night, that is God speaking to you through that wound. He doesn't want us to have pain and wants to heal our wounds so often speaks through them so we can be open to healing. Sometimes, we like our wounds because it helps us feel sorry for ourselves and pity ourselves and our bad luck...but that's not why Jesus died. He died and took on our wounds to heal us from pain and sin.

"Yep, the sun is definitely shining!" When you know, you know.

I took a second rose from Mary's little vase early this morning and set out to bring it as a prayer to a place where people have encountered pain: the Emergency Room next to labor and delivery at a hospital near me. Life can begin there or the beginning of eternal life can begin there.

Thank you, Mother Mary.

The majority of people in modern countries are born in a nice clean hospital with staff that has received some training. Most nurses and doctors are kind, though not all, and I have seen a good amount of little babies born in the hospitals. Today, I would like to pray for all of the people who are suffering in giving birth in dire circumstances.

St Vincent de Paul, who saved poor babies, pray for us.

Day Two: Sorrows of Birth in Poverty

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Heavenly Father hear our prayers today as we pray for healing and strength for our brothers and sisters experiencing unimaginable overwhelming emotional and physical pain today in labor and delivery of their children. Our Lady of Sorrows, you the Mother of Jesus gave birth in poverty among dirty animals. I pray for all fathers to be close to their wife and child as they are in labor and delivery. Please bring comfort and healing to the women in last stages of pregnancy in poverty. I pray for women who will labor and deliver on the street today. I pray for migrant mothers who don't have medical care. I pray for the babies to be protected in the delivery as they are born into instability. I especially pray for all Afghan mothers who just gave birth to their child or will be delivered of their child in the next few days. Please, Mother of Sorrows, hear their cries of help and be near to them. Hold their hands and be near to them in the pain of delivery. I pray for all babies turned the breech position in the womb to have the hands of Mary turn them so that they can be safely delivered. I pray for all babies with umbilical chords wrapped around their necks for the chords to be untied by the hands of Mary. I pray for all mother's who will deliver totally alone today, for Mary to make her presence known in helping that mom have clarity in the movement of her body, her breathing, and delivery of her child. I pray for the spirit of fear to be dispelled from mothers in labor and delivery. Mother of Sorrows, be near to mothers delivering today, especially for the poor, the migrant and Afghan mothers.

If it be the will of God Almighty, I pray for my special novena intention of (Name your intention). Holy Mother of Sorrows, please intercede for my special intention that is in the depths of my heart.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be a world without end, Amen.

1: Our Lady of Sorrows

2021-09-06T20:46:00.000-04:00

Today is the first day for the novena to Our Lady of Sorrows, who gives so many graces to those who are suffering. I thought of the suffering of many of us and where it began: unborn babies in the womb.

I am taking one of nine roses each day from Mary, as a prayer, to a place of sorrow.

I thought about the first sorrows that many people have experienced, and they have been in the womb. So many of us were told at some point that our life was not wanted, a surprise, or we have felt in some way unwanted by our parents. Those emotions from our parents and mothers began in the womb and can bring the spirit of rejection with them when we are born and drag on through our lives as we either choose to heal or project that same rejection of life within our own life or the lives of others.

I think of Our Lady how she was approached by the Angel Gabriel and agreed to carry the life of Christ within her womb. Today, in honor of the Annunciation, I would like to pray for all people who Our Lady of Sorrows holds near in the sorrows of the womb.

Day one: Sorrows of the womb

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Holy merciful Father, hear our prayers tonight as we ask for the intercession of Our Lady of Sorrows. Today I would like to pray for the healing of souls who were rejected by their mothers and fathers at conception and had the spirit of rejection attached to them. In the name of Jesus I pray for them to receive healing from this spirit of rejection. I pray for the protection of pregnant women in danger, I pray especially for all of the women in migrant situations who are the vessel for the life of a child within them. I pray for all of the unborn babies in danger tonight, who might not see the light of life this side of the world. I pray for women tonight who choose to continue their pregnancies and might feel scared, alone or confused but chose for the little child within them to live. I pray for women who have suffered choosing to aborted their babies, for God to have mercy on them and for them to seek forgiveness and healing knowing that God is waiting with open and loving arms of mercy to heal them and call them by name back into His love. I pray for the spirit of death to leave them and for them not to suffer depression and suicidal thoughts that can come from the spirit of death attached to abortion.

At the graves of unborn babies.

I pray for women who have suffered miscarried babies, for those who have suffered multiple miscarried babies. I pray for them to seek the face of Our Lady of Sorrows who understands our sorrows in losing a child we wanted and love so very much. I pray for babies born sick, babies who are born and unwanted, may Our Lady of Sorrows cover them with her mantle. And lastly I pray for the babies and children separated from parents, orphaned or abandoned in Afghanistan. May our Lady of Sorrows comfort them, protect them and bring them to loving homes and families.

I pray for my special intention in this Novena of (Name your intention).Our Lady of Sorrows, be near to me, and intercede for my intention if it is the Divine Will of our Lord and Savior.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thine name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, a world without end, Amen.