Musings of the Lame; life as a birthmother in adoption

Oh No, Please Don't Go! We Lose Maurice Sendak

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Tue, 08 May 2012 14:55:31 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ I will admit, I never imagined this day. "Where the Wild Things Are" Author Maurice Sendak Dies When I got to the office this morning, I glanced at my Facebook feed again as I do. Usually nothing has changed in the world during my 7 minute walk to the office and the 5 minutes it takes me to grab a cup of coffee. Today, I was not to be so lucky. The minute I saw the cover to "Where the Wild Things Are" I let out the groan. I...

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Yahoos Think: Adoption Saves Tax Money

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Wed, 02 May 2012 07:09:20 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ I forgot just how much fun the general public was when it came to life as a birthmother and adoption! By "fun", of course, I mean public bashing, scrutiny, and complete ignorance. I am reminded, however, by this, that we HAVE come a long way at least in many of our own circles as this same kind of behavior used to happen here on the blog, on Adoption.com and the older forums. I thought it would be a good idea to address some of the more...

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Never Imagined This

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:54:00 PDT

Tweet Google+ A Brief Second Before I Was a BirthMother I remember this picture being taken like it was yesterday. It doesn't matter that it was almost 25 years ago. I know exactly where I was November 16th, 1987. I was my final moments, holding my newborn son and saying good bye. I can tell you where I bought that ugly shirt. I can tell you all about my armful of bracelets. And by just lookign at this image, the flood of emotions can...

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Video Trailers for "Adopted or Abducted?"

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:45:07 PDT

Tweet Google+ Dan Rather Reports: Preview Trailers Dan Rather Reports, "Adopted or Abducted?" will devote the entire hour on Tuesday, May 1st to the heartbreaking accounts of women -- most of whom were teens at the time -- who were forced to hand their babies over for adoption. In a sweeping and exhaustive six month investigation that spanned from Australia to the United States, producers from Dan Rather Reports conducted nearly one hundred interviews with victims of forced...

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Post Baby Scoop Era Birthmother Poster Child?

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:47:13 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ Have you noticed my new profile image? Rye treated me to a photo session with the AMAZING Tamme Stitt. I say amazing with good reason. The pics came out great. I will admit it; I look great, but it's not ME; Tamme does something magical with the camera. Anyway, this was the one pose that I had been thinking about for over a good year now. I wanted a Rosie the Riveter, but for Adoptee Rights. No, ARC tattoo is not real, but I...

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Interviewing with Dan Rather Reports

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 17:27:11 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ Dan Rather Investigates Adoption & Coercion Yesterday, April 6th, 2012, I was interviewed by Dan Rather. I usually don’t like writing these kinds of "I'm going here and doing this" kind of thing because it feels insanely self promotional and I end up feeling like a show off and that's not my intention. However, enough people know and will ask me about it. The one thing I love about blogging is I only have to tell a story once...

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Support and Advice for Amelia's Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 17:09:19 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ I received an email yesterday, that I am sharing here. I would not normally do this, but I think that in this case, words of wisdom need to come from more people than just myself. It's one thing for one person to offer advice, but it's different if many give the encouragement and support. I know there is a small chance that the whole story is made up and perhaps someone thinks they are sneaky and is digging for information to use...

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What CAN We Compare Adoption To?

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 17:09:36 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ In my last post, Australia's Adoption Apology, I was informed that comparing Adoption to the Holocaust was not in good taste or to quote: "offensive and overblown. Adoption is bad, and many were hurt. The Holocaust was the murder of 6 million men women and children for no reason other than that they were Jewish, or Gay or handicapped or Gypsies or some Slavs. The two things are just not on the same scale in any way. Such a comparison...

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Australia's Adoption Apology

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:10:04 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ What Does the West Australian Adoption Apology Mean? For so many years, we have turned and looked to Austria as a model for adoption. Australia opened their records. Australia changed adoption practices. Australia does not nearly have the same number of domestic infant adoption as the US does proportionally. Australia honors the mother and child, their bond, values motherhood. So very far ahead of us in America, and yet, the mothers in...

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#SignsforStartups: Adoptee Rights

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:10:43 PDT

So this is one of those Social Media Bandwagons that I end up jumping on. You know, how I pay attention to all this stuff at my job and then apply it to Adoptionland. Or really, it happened the other way around, I learned all this stuff in Adoptionland, and it turned into the job? They all blur sometimes! Anyway, we get home from dinner tonight to find that my boss, @RicDragon, had tagged a bunch of #usDragons on Facebook with this link to this feel good challenge on another SMM...

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More of the Amazing Mary Gauthier

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:11:26 PDT

Tweet var linkwithin_site_id = 477703; Google+ "Before You Leave" an Adoption StoryOnce again, I find myself happy that I landed in this weird wide adoption world. Yes, I hate that adoption is in my life and probably always will hate how my family was separated. Yet, as always I am so thankful for all the wonderful people that I get to met along this journey. One of those people is Mary Gauthier. Amazing artist, singer songwriter, Grammy nominated, and yet, so real, so...

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Why the Adoption Establishment Annoys the Heck Out of Me

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 20:10:44 PST

Loving Land of Gazillion Adoptees "Unofficial" Adoption Blog Week!I got Kevin's secret message Secret message for other bloggers about the week of February 26th, aka, “Why the adoption establishment annoys the heck out of us” Blog Week. It really wasn't that secret. I'm liking the idea that if enough of us participate, then it goes from "Unofficial" to "Official" The adoption establishment annoys the heck out of me for a multitude of reasons. I think that's clear to most readers who come to...

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The Adoptee Rights Coalition Needs YOUR Help!

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 11:14:07 PST

What happens AFTER the Adoptee Rights Demonstration? The profit in adoption, happened along time ago in most of our lives. As we all know, there is NO money in the work that we do. When it comes to changing laws, the adoption groups are marginalized, underrepresented, ignored, and unfunded. That's one of the main reasons we have the demonstration at the NCSL Summits. The good old fashioned stick waving chanting protest is what gets the ATTENTION of the lawmakers. After we...

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Somebodies Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:17:51 PST

This is the Question of a Young Women facing an Unplanned PregnancyI'm 18 and have no diploma or GED. I plan on going to college and doing something with myself, but as of right now I live with someone else. I feel very sad thinking about this baby and about how my relationship and life is going to change and I'm curious about whether this is hormones or not. I feel HORRIBLE for the way I feel. Do you think I can have a baby now, keep her and still have a happy life and relationships?This is...

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The Stereotype Meme: Birthmother Style

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:49:23 PST

As in my nature, if something is happen online, well gosh dernit, we are going to have an adoption version too! Adoptee, you're meme is over at Adoptee Rights. Here's the one that glorifies..... Birthmother Stereotypes Share at will! Funny side note: As I was looking for the images, I was doing some googling.. things like whores, prostitutes, family building angelss. Googel search results produce me in the CrackWhore BirthMother T shirt as a "family building angels"..However, when...

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Help This Dad Find His Kingston Family

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:05:26 PST

Former Hudson Valley Adoptee Born December 25th, 1976 Searching for His Birthmother While most of the world sees adoption as a good thing, which is forever finding families for unwanted children, I view the system a little differently. As a birthmother who fights for Adoptee Rights, I often focus more on the legislative injustices, systematic corruption, and the loss that is an automatic part of adoption. In my experience, the positive side of adoption has been often been linked to...

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Lessons in International Adoption

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 08:01:01 PST

Media Attention of Haiti Adoption Sheds Light on Raw Adoption Truths It seemed like the minute I heard about the earthquake in Haiti, the story was linked to adoption. My poor husband, such a news junkie, started clicking away from the channels when an adoption related story came on. I had to tell him that I would not start screaming at the TV, rather, I knew and expected that when there was a catastrophic natural disaster, whispers and then demands to adopt the children left alive would soon...

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Protecting the Privacy of Birthmothers

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:00:19 PST

Original Birth Certificate Access by Adopted Adults and the Lies of the Adoption Industry I am, quite frankly, sick and tired of the adoption industry pretending to protect me and other birthmothers. I just listened to the wonderful interview of Adult Adoptee Diane Crossfield speak on behalf of the ( at minimum) 6 million American Adult adoptees who are denied access to their birth certificates. You can hear the taped version of The Takeaway; Adoptees Fight for Access to Original Birth...

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Is Your Adoption Agency Ethical?

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:00:38 PST

How are Prospective Adoption Parents Supposed to Know How Ethical an Adoption Agency Really Is? An Inside Look from a Birthmother’s Perspective Adoption is particularly hard because it is never something we really learn about before we find it in our lives. I know I never dreamed that one day I would grow up, have a baby, give him to other parents to raise and not see him for 19 years. I believe that is true for many adoptive parents as well. Maybe you always felt that you would eventually...

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Breaking the Birthmother Rules

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:00:07 PST

I wrote this in August of 2006. It was for some publication or contest that I don't ever even believe came with a rejection letter. I know it didn't get published, but I think it deserves some time in the light of day. Not much has changed in my views in the last years. Dear Adoptive Parents; I know you will think I am scary. I have gotten use to it. Most people are shocked when they see me. I am little, not a big threatening Amazon. I know it is not how I say things, how I write,...

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Why Adoption Kool-Aid Tastes so Good!

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:03:38 PST

A Look at Birthmothers, Decision Making, and Denial It was close to 10 years ago, if not more the first time I was called out on being a birthmother in denial. Max was only 13 and years away from being found and I was new to the adoption community online. I was still saying things like "Adoption was the hardest decision, but the best choice for my baby I could have made. I do not regret it" and expecting to get pats on the back for my selflessness and courage. Instead I was publically...

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Who Wants to Be a Birthmother?

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:45:55 PST

What's in a Word: Birthmother I was asked to write a piece about why mothers who relinquished children to adoption might be upset by the use of the word birthmother by Adoption Mosaic. 700 words on a topic I know quite well, so I said no problem. And then I struggled. About 16 revisions later, and with the deadline looming, I sent off what I THOUGHT was my final version and headed to Texas for the Adoptee Rights Protest. I had sent version #12, but they liked it and I didn't HATE it, so...

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Adoption: Broken Ornaments

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:46:30 PST

This post was orginally writen in Dec 2010 for GIMH: The Christmas Tree and Family Traditions One would not think that a middle class family on suburban Long Island would be trend setters. In many ways, my family was quite unremarkable. My father was a NYC police Lieutenant, my mother a stay at home mom for most of my childhood; yet, somehow they did stuff ahead of their time. We had one of the first microwaves, we had a VCR from the early days, we were eating pesto way way...

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Adoptees and Sisters Reality Show Casting Call

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:56:59 PST

Prime Time Reality Show Looking for Adoptees and their Sisters I'm just a passing this on....I DO encourage peope to DO these sorts of things, not becasue you want to be on TV, but becasue the more TURE stories out there.. the more it helps. PLEASE remember to SUPPORT ADOPTEE RIGHTS if, you know, you happen to go for it. Mentioning on TV the reality of adoptees sealed records could do a world of good! OK the rest of this is copy and paste! My name Jamie Pease and I’m the casting...

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#AdoptionChat on Twitter Deemed a Success!

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 15:28:49 PST

For a first time chat dreamed up in a week; I am very pleased to say that this was a GREAT Tweet Chat! I knew we had it in us! In about 90 minutes, we tweeted over 288 times about adoption issues. And yes, one can have an in depth conversation with only 140 characters! Next Tweeting @AdoptionChatIf you missed it, we're doing it again! Sundays were deemed good; so once again December 4th, 4:00 pm EST at http://tweetchat.com/room/AdoptionChat. If anyone has any ideas for a topic;...

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