sanctuary

Narasi yang tertinggal

2026-07-30T20:28:11.525+07:00

Jejak, dekaplah yang terberai!

Pada dindingdinding pengetahuan dan langitlangit ilmu, aku teriak, “gerangan adakah kalian? Wahai!”

Patri pada batu perlahan meranggas

Ledakan kejut ideide yang dulu bak cahayacahaya

Menyublim entah kemana

Pada labirin itu,

WhatsApp, X, Telegram, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube berteriak sahut-sahutan

kelana tanpa pelana meninggalkan rona; di wajah ibu, wajah anak, wajah nenek, wajah pemuda itu, wajah pemudi ini, bapak X, kakek Y, Z Z Z Z Z Z Z...

Mereka lalu lalang dengan singkatsingkat, tanpa makna, tanpa batas; instan, cepat, pudar, pendar

tiada

makna

dunia sekelebat dalam genggaman

aku, kamu, kita, kalian

hilang

hidup

tiada

makna

Jejak, dekap aku!

Jakarta, 22 Juni 2026

Negeri Tabola’Bale’

2025-08-19T12:37:00.003+07:00

Di negeri ini, demokrasi hanya pesta topeng.

Kursikursi empuk penuh badut berdasi,

menyanyi lagu kebangsaan,

mulut berlepotan suap,

pada panggung-panggung kemerdekaan

rakyat berdesakan seperti pasar murah,

berhitung receh sekedar beras sekarung.

mengantre untung

Pejabat berjoget genggam mikrofon,

asyik pidato tentang kesejahteraan—

tangannya sibuk tandatangani proyek siluman.

Menambah utang

Mereka tersenyum di baliho,

sementara jalan desa tetap berlubang

dan jembatan tinggal seutas doa.

Oh, Tabola Bale, negeri retorika dan drama panggung!

Setiap kampanye jadi karnaval,

setiap janji jadi arca kosong.

Rakyat bukan tuan,

hanya penonton yang dipaksa bayar tiket

dengan pajak nan melambung dan keringat nan menguap

Di negeri ini, keadilan hanya kata manis,

hukum sekadar kostum pesta adat.

Yang menipu tetap berlenggak-lenggok,

yang lapar tetap menggigil di emperan.

Tabola Bale ini negeri

meski musik terus mengalun,

tapi nadanya buat ninabobo,

agar rakyat lupa sedang dicekik

oleh tangantangan penari

akhirnya abai

dan mereka pun menonton, berjoget dan menari

merayakan merdeka yang tak memerdekakan

Dirgahayu!

Jakarta, 17 Agustus 2025

Selamat Ultah Indonesia ke 80!

Suara Bungabunga

2025-02-25T19:46:00.002+07:00

damai pun mungkin tak akan beri untung, tuan
orangorang menjual kemiskinan
pada keberuntungan
dan lembarlembar rupiah yang ganda dan masif

yang kuasa, tuan
hanya beri berpihakan
pada gemuruh nafas ahingahong
yang berburu mangsa
dan hanya acuh pada alibialibi materialis

deal sekali naik alis

dan orientasinya instan profit

tanah-tanah separuh airmata dilelang

pada lapaklapak luar di negeri sebalik cakrawala

pemenangnya adalah kapital

sebab ialah sesembahan

Pertiwi telah lama bertetes darah

sadarkah engkau, tuan?

kemana nurani yang dulu jernih tanpa riak?

akupun yang dulu bangga

kini meradang

rapuh

tiada daya

apalagi tenaga

Jakarta, 2025

Shadows of The Antagonist

2024-06-24T12:44:00.003+07:00

In the sprawling archipelago, under the tropical sky,

A leader rose, with intentions awry.

From the modest streets of a village, his journey began

But power soon twisted this ambitious man.

a name once whispered in trust,

Now draped in shadows, ambitions unjust.

With a carpenter’s hands, he built his facade,

Yet behind the veneer, lay intentions deeply flawed.

Promises of progress, whispered so sweet,

Masked the corruption in the corridors’ heat.

Infrastructure arose, but at what cost?

In the pursuit of power, many freedoms were lost.

He wielded reforms like a double-edged blade,

Carving out futures while old debts were paid.

In the guise of justice, control tightened its grip,

Through the lenses of power, democracy slip.

Beneath the construction, the growth, and the build,

Lay whispers of forests and rivers being killed.

For every road paved, a piece of truth buried,

The cries of the land, in shadows hurried.

The people once hopeful, now wary and torn,

Watched as the ideals of their leader were worn.

In the halls of power, where decisions are made,

The light of transparency began to fade.

Opposition stifled, dissent met with force,

As the path of governance took a darker course.

For unity spoken, division was sown,

In the name of progress, so much left unknown.

Nay! You’re once a beacon of hope,

Now tangled in the threads of power’s tightrope.

The antagonist’s mask, donned over time,

Turning aspirations into subtle crime.

In the annals of history, let truth be revealed,

The layers of leadership, slowly unsealed.

For in every hero, shadows may lie,

And in every story, the truth can belie.

May the lessons be learned, from the rise and the fall,

Of a leader whose path cast shadows on all.

For in the balance of power, both light and dark reign,

And the story of the feculent profile, forever remains.

JagoJago

2024-05-03T19:32:00.001+07:00

Tell me about it

To be that hotshots?

No matter how I pave the dots

Others will hitch the knots

Thus accelerate the swot’s

Becomes doubts

Nonetheless, it's double edge swords

Sharp without words

Perempuan Api

2024-04-21T19:28:00.001+07:00

Wahai Puan,

Izinkan hamba melipur matari

Nan kian deras meranggas sluruh Bumi

Agar lepas hasrat nya tak terbatas kini

Sebab Tuan tlah abai hibur laranya ini

Wahai Puan,

Tak taukah Tuan

Nurani tlah satu per satu gugurkan helainya dedaunan?

Kabut memekatkan murni pandangan

Pada musim kemarau yang tiada ada sepenjuru mata angin padanya

Ditebas kejamnya bilah jarum jam

Tak ada tersisa bisa

Tinggal nelangsa nan purba

Airmata darah

Cipayung, 22.01.22

Pada Telaga itu

2023-08-16T09:12:00.005+07:00

Semacam perahu tanpa layar

Tanpa dayung tanpa sauh

Apalagi turbo biar gerak nan jauh

Di basin air yang berpusar-pusar

Di rupa beranda telaga

puting beliung tetiba

Mengoyak

Mencabik

Aku gelibat

Meski sempat geliat

Tanpa hakikat

Cipayung, Agustus 2023

Di Ujung Teluk

2023-08-10T07:31:00.002+07:00

Ada banyak paku menancap di kaki ku

Ku jejak kali pertama sejak selusin dua lusin bulan berganti penuh

Tahun berganti tahun

Mungkin tiga lusin

Tak teringat lagi

Pakupaku itu perih

Mengundang sedih

Menancap tajam buat tak gerak

Kucoba teriak dengan suara serak

Malah semilir yang berdesau

Dimataku, tepat dibola mataku;

teluk yang indah itu

Berubah barisbaris pasir: bersampah, kotor dan bau

Lumpur entah dari mana tiada yang tau

Aku awam

Dan tak paham

Kata para akademia: itu abrasi!

Semacam pengikisan daratan oleh gelombang

Dan buat rugi masyarakat

Kata para aktivis lingkungan : itu eksploitasi!

Pengerukan berlebihan pada kekayaan laut

Dan ekosistem jadi tak imbang

Aku tergugu

Tak mampu apaapa!

Telukku indah berubah rupa

Telah di rusak oknum penguasa

Atas nama program apaapa

Alih fungsi lahan penjaga

Katanya tak apaapa

Bla Bla Bla!

Rakyat pun seolah merasa

Boleh selebrasi dengan gembira

Tebar limbah dimanamana

Katanya ini turut serta

Dalam rangka membeo kata

Mereka

Bla Bla Bla!

Teluk bagiku adalah nostalgia

Teluk Kendari ku adalah rekam masa kecil tentang cita

dan asa::

Kemaraya, 2020

Tanah Tamalaki

2023-06-08T19:39:00.001+07:00

Apa telah datang padamu,

kabar dari Negeri nun jauh?

Mereka merangsek maju

"Ini tanah para leluhur

Kami tak mau berbagi subur

Apalagi harta dihambur"

"Tak boleh tentang itu adat,

Apalagi menghujat!

Sungguh, ini tentang istiadat

Nan kukuh tanpa tenggat

Meski berkalang gelagat"

gawat!

Para tetua mulai angkat Kalo

Kalau Kalo tlah berkata "heo!"

Langitkan titah Tolohianga

Tunggulah!

Bumi menderapkan kaki kudakuda

Tamalaki berjagajaga

Tanpa lelap trus siaga

Maka kelahi tiada

Namun niaga tetap ada

Tanah-tanah berburai tanpa hara

Hendak bertitah apa?

Meski kuasa?

::investigasi, eksplorasi. eksploitasi!

Kemaraya, 2023

katakatanya

2022-02-21T22:48:00.001+07:00

Katanya, katakata nya sangat berkata

Entah apa hingga kaya katakata

Entah kata sebagai mana hingga mampu berkatakata

Adakah kuasa dalam katakata nya?

Adakah berkah dalam kata, katanya?

Adakah nada dalam katakata nya?

Adakah KATA dalam kata, katanya?

Adakah KITA dalam katanya?

Kata kita kata tanya

Kata nya kita kata tanya

Katanya, KITA tanya kata

Katanya, KITA kata tanya

Kata kita kata tanya

KATA KITA KATA KATA

Cipayung, 21.02.22

Oblivion, DearTime!

2021-12-21T12:10:00.000+07:00

has ever come to you, dear Time?
those discourses
on Sorrow
on Emptiness

drawing extra dimensions
of other creatures
grumbling crumbling mumbling thus
stating that; their improbability
is null

creating frightens

then, numb..

if you can count the percentages
how much can you quantify?
pull you back to a never-ending hollow labyrinths::
instead of shrinking you in a machine
will suck you into
barren..

:: There might be God's hand reaching and squeezing you

one times zero equals to
none...

then we are back to square one

with oblivious, dear Time

I certainly against you this. Let's head to head and accomplish the quarrel once and for all

you will exist no more..

Jakarta, 21.12. 21

A Farewell Serenade

2020-09-27T13:02:00.001+07:00

Oh Dear,

So these "love is in the air", " love is what you need", "love will lead you back" things have about to corner

Pinkish jargons as sweet as candies had come to an end

Phone calls, rendezvous, cyber appointments have many but null

Cotton candies skies turn back to grey

At a sudden

By only some words

Which for me was quite quirking

And whirlwind

But to you were quite sharping

And nailing

And those words were chopping

Your heart into pieces

(And mine)

Sorry not sorry..

(But Thou acted silently afterwards)

Apology accepted!

Though words spoken none unto your mouth

Care not do Thy?

Otherwise immediately notified

Thou meant only mean!

:However doves flew shy away..

On Parenting: Do we have to spank?

2020-07-19T13:49:00.000+07:00

Once upon a time, on my attempt to preserve my passion to write, I've forced myself to read numbers of reading. Either it is on the net, or it is on papers. Got pieces from my hubby who, this made me envy at him, fortunately has an opportunity to participate in a workshop for writing (well, I will share my feeling about this, I promise!^-^). While, stuttering those pieces on how to manage my time to read all of them, I happened to grab one which hit in my eyes.

This piece is about spanking, or let me say, topics about child abuse, I guess. Kinda shock, frankly speaking. As it is an issue that many people prefer not to discuss. It tells about the reality happens in many American houses where parents becoming hopeless toward their children upbringing. Many kids have lost their respects to parents nowadays. So then the writer put his statements that spanking is as acceptable and sometimes necessary form of disciplining a child.While, ironically circa 1990's to 2000, parents were quite insisting on fitting their children to be their BFF.

Correct me if I'm wrong, this also have happened in Indonesia these decades, right?

I can witness and confess that we are eager and anxious enough to comfort our children. Consciously or unconsciously,we stretch the path to their future, lead them, serve them, protect them. Without knowing to realize that they have little, if not at all, respects to their parents.

To some degree, we are loosing attempts to make our children to be discipline somehow. Not to mention the working parents who surrender to the so called quality time; it should be peaceful, should be still, no arguments, no battle. Peace and ease at home. And this might be a standard operation to many households.

Luckily, we are familiar to and yet live in Eastern cultures (part of religions, as well) where respecting parents are one of the many duties a child need to bear on. At one thing, living in a culture like this can benefit our modes of parenting. Obey parents' instructions, being polite to the elderly especially our mother, no offense words, are ones of the many "rules" addressed to so-called Eastern people (well, this term is also questionable) without any reserved whatsoever.

When I was a kid, I sincerely follow these rules. Follow the rules, then the rewards are in the Hereafter; Paradise.As simple as that. With no exception and arguments, kids in those time had had unspoken consensus.A way too far to what happened nowadays. Kids recently are mostly winning the battle of debate. Their arguments are sophisticated. Full of assumption and logical. At least, to my experience. Haha..

Thus, what parents do when they are within that kind of situation? Some are following the flow. Some are building their wall of protection. Arguing their children is one way to show their power and at the same time a proof that parents are more experienced than these little people. But for me, our children are and should be our responsibility to The Creator, our living and closest friends to chat about many things, our urgent person to contact, our reminders gently or not concerning some things, our support system, our big helpers and many more. You see, if we put our shoes on theirs and understand their position, especially their day to day experience, we will witness our relationship grow stronger and stronger each and every day. Our bonding is not merely the blood but also spiritual, social and even critical thoughts on many issues.

Those are my opinions. I don't know your thoughts. Have any? Please comment on the box..

2016-08-12T13:31:00.002+07:00

Hola, dear all..
Been long time haven't written anything. Been preoccupied with these and those. Pretend to be busy here and there. And a bucket of excuses. Oh well. From today onwards, I've decided to write anything across my mind and things happen to me. I hope it's gonna be everyday as I force myself to write write write. An attempt which I struggle to survive. There are ups and downs, certainly, but to make it as a habit, it's still a big question. Need to juggle around between mother's task, wife's, lecturer's and student's. I wish I could have a courage to commit. I am a lousy person if it's to do with commitments (I remember someone said the same words to me. Hopefully I ain't a plagiarist. Haha..). Not to mention my acute laziness above all. Oh, and don't forget my indifferent behavior to some and many extents :p

Actually, it's a way too late to decide this change. As I need to consider my age. I've been 45 years old this year. Don't you think it's considered old enough to be a "real" blogger?

Well, I have some friends who are consistently being engaged to write their blog. FYI, I'd created this blog since 2006. The link is here. At the time, some friends had already had their blogs, and wrote it on day to day basis. Then, jump into conclusion, it's never too late to write. Anything, anyone and anywhere. Agree?

So, this is a writing of my daily journal in blogspot. Trying to be part of the mainstream bloggers. Writing their daily routines and reviewing some thingies they own, as well as having their opinions over some news, issues and or other problems'. How cool is it to be part of these, eh? ^_*

Once again, I announce that; this is mine, myself and I, officially. Enjoy!

Mencinta :Episode Empat Musim

2015-09-01T15:38:00.002+07:00

Semi

Panas

Gugur

Dingin

::dinginmu, membuat semiku panas dan kemudian gugur...

@azha
1.09.2015

22:44

2015-06-22T15:18:00.000+07:00

I
duadua
juni
sembilanbelastujuhsatu
angkaangka itu
menarinari dalam halamanhalaman hidup
menorehnoreh tinta warnawaarni bianglala
sederhana saja
: tawaran lukisan indah buatmu adalah sebermula

II
dan
duadua
juni
sembilanbelassembilansatu
nafasmu berburu dengan ruap pagi yang marak
sebab ingin kautumpah semua tintatinta kehidupan
merah, hitam, putih, kelabu
tersasar dan tersasar
pada kembara puisi, cinta dan catatan kuliah
: hidup akan selalu mengantarmu pulang, nak..
maka bergembiralah!

III
pada
duadua
juni
duaribulimabelas
ini sebaran noktahnoktah jiwamu yang
beranjak renta pada
lembarlembar stilistika dan katarsis
senandungmu lirih pada paruh senja yang kau piara
namun asa senatiasa disana
:semoga kenanganmu moksa
dan tak lagi netra menimbang hikmah

Cipayung, Duadua Juni Limabelas

Lelaki Keruh

2015-01-31T16:19:00.001+07:00

Telah berhambur katakata
tanpa makna
kebohongan kian berpacak pada tanahtanah sengsara,
manusia alih rupa srigala

dan lelaki itu
lelaki itu keruh
selaksa sungai kotor oleh sampahsampah
tak mampu ia halau
Sesaat di sudut lampau
rimbunan pohonpohon sejarah
memaku jejakjejaknya pada titah
pada bondong media; tv, radio, internet, ponsel :pintar dan tak pintar
: ia lah sang penyelamat!

dan tahbis jatuh padanya:
Sang Penyelamat itu tlah tahta
Ksatria konon impian rakyat
Ksatria penyebar bunga cinta
di jalanjalan angkara
Ialah (seharusnya) damai, harapan dan ada
tanpa bongkol kalimatkalimat retorik
tanpa pidato rasa anggur
:sebab wujud katakata adalah kerja

Ah!
Lelaki itu menyebar kabut, ternyata
pada jejakjejak berlian dibelakangnya
kirikanannya yang sampah bergumpal
bercampur dengan aroma darah

Sungguhkah ialah boneka?
Dari rajutanrajutan benang surrealis yang kian abstrak?
Oleh tirani konspirasi yang menjadi jagat
: bahwa titah langit adalah puguh!

Dan lelaki itu kini mengepul asap
setelah jewantah air ia mengabut
entah api,
entah air
berkarut

Cipayung, 31.01.2015

Notion of Passion

2015-01-15T07:32:00.000+07:00

One catharsis

Of Somebody

A tableau

In the light of knowledge

A Manifestation of contemplation

“Cognitive illumination via emotion

Not a purgation of repression”.

That’s what a book said.

What have I said;

Layers of life

Dancing through my mind

Crowded brain

In a serenity

Empty.

Hollow space

:In a zero gravity

Cipayung, 15.01.2015

IN SEARCH FOR A MUSE

2015-01-15T02:00:00.000+07:00

Some blog rolling I had done to kill my absurd boredom while trying my utmost to be back to my dissertation. A way of finding my self esteem? Searching my self confidence? An oasis of my highest dryness, or is it a mere escape of all excuses? Lost of concentration, focus failure or a scapegoat? Call them what you like. But time flies. Whether I realize it, you realize it, or not. Not at all. That is not the real matter. And at this very time, it ticks at 1 am in the very next day of I had just realized. A begotten time lapse. So very yesterday, some people say. And once again, I curse myself!

It is now the 15^th day of 2015…

What have you done?

Still looking for a muse? An inspiration? A motivator? A shadow?

And it is just an old rhyme; a same old song; a same old excuse:

Purging my rough patches. Haha..

Excuses..excuses..excuses..

I have been triggered by some of these young genes; they are superbly motivated, highly hard workers, superiorly committed to their dreams. And they are never being quitters. Never be losers. Consistently being dreamers. A constant pursue. And they keep their promises; being a dreamer. I wonder old people like me (I consider my self old, already: pardon me!), would be a consistent dreamer like them? Will they be, in a time span of their life someday, persistently being dreamers like they always be? Or they used to be?

You see, they jotted down their dreams; in papers, through pens, stamped at their private walls. Aiming high. Listed more than a hundred of dreams. Dreams that, to some people, might be an impossibility. Been screwed, been under estimated, been laughed. They didn’t, in fact, they don’t care at all. They keep running. Running high, sometimes low. Though, they keep in the pace. Of being a muse, of being an inspiration. Those are their motto.They keep remind themselves. They never forget. They strive to be there: on top of their success and become a muse. Inspire! Otherwise, you will be expired!

Cipayung, 15.01.2015

Mencintamu adalah Angin

2014-09-28T13:05:00.002+07:00

mencintamu adalah angin
yang berembus sepoi atau gemuruh

jika sepoi, ia serupa interlud
sejatinya singkat dan maujud
kidungkan doadoa tahajjud
dalam sunyi beribu sujud
berbingkai solitud

atau ia yang separuh ruh
jika gemuruh ia laksana guruh
serupa beliung tajam mencacah waktu hingga luruh

di belantara riuh

lalu menyesap tinggalkan asap
dan tak pernah sekalipun lesap
di sayapsayap malaikat yang menyadap

:mengunduh anugerahMu

On One Bowl of Soup

2014-01-24T18:21:00.000+07:00

One day

One bowl soup one day on one afternoon

One heart met one other heart

One long forgotten ardour

(Could they become one?)

One bowl (wished to) melted two hearts

(In an attempt to uphold both)

In the meantime

Heat on other bowl is about to drop

Dissolved by other heart

That frozen

Soto Ambengan, 24 January 2014

Aku dan Hujan

2014-01-22T18:24:00.000+07:00

Hujan, ingatkan aku untuk selalu mengatakan:

“Memandangmu adalah terindah”

“Melihatmu beningkan keruhku”

“Mendengar ramaimu tetes demi tetes, rintik bahkan deburmu mampu riuhkan sepiku”

Jangan lupa ingatkan pula aku untuk selalu mengatakan:

“Melepasnya adalah sebuah keniscayaan”

Cipayung, 2014

Tari Sunyi

2013-11-24T17:04:00.000+07:00

Sungguh! Tak tau aku..
Menarikan sekuelsekuel indah dalam hidupmu
Seperti netra yang kembara
di gurun yang seperti bara
Atau meracau entah merapal
gitagita mantra yang berubah jadi ajal
antara maya dan nyata
sekelibat kita

menolak lupa

2012-09-08T22:30:00.000+07:00

adalah waktu yang menjadikanmu abadi
ketika hakhak mereka yang tak berdaya dikebiri
adalah semangatmu yang mampu angkat dan perjuangkan
agar mereka tak teraniaya, tertindas, terbungkam dan termatikan
walau upayamu santun, lembut, beradab dianggap biadab
menantang rezim, otokrasi dan arogansi
kokoh berdiri ragamu memeluk pertiwi
kukuh menggenggam bendera justicia
mengusap semua yang tersisa lara
walau berbayar darah
dan mati adalah sebutir hikmah
dari semua yang tlah hitam
berbalut kelam

hingga delapan tahun kini

: maka hiduplah dalam ingatan kami!
agar kami tak henti melawan lupa
hiduplah!

*a tribute to Munir Said Thalib

Episode Satu: Kelopak Itu

2012-09-08T10:17:00.000+07:00

Dan kelopak itu nyaris gugur
Pada tanahtanah utopis yang kau sebar janjijanji
Terangkai dari residuresidu kenangan
"Memang berandai adalah kemerdekaan yang nyata"
semacam candu paling nikmat
; merasuk, bermetastase, setelah itu mendekam
di loronglorong otak kita paling dalam

Dan selanjutnya kalimat memabukkan hamburkan
ideologi "seharusnya"
: bertemu, bersatu, selalu, selamanya
misalkan stigma itu menyata: sejatinya kita tak sepadan
sebisa mungkin konsisten mencipta nyaman
bukan berbias beda
yang tak berarah