viaggio

stagnant yet improving?

2012-07-29T14:52:00.001+07:00

sorry it has been awhile since i posted

but my mommy came!

and

we enjoyed

almost a month of site seeing

we went to salzburg

and sang to the hills

celebrated the 4th of july

went swimming

we hung around the local area

and

most importantly

she and emerson bonded

it was an enjoyable visit!

so what is the latest with

the

{hemangioma treatment}?

i've been asked that a few times

we are stagnant

yet improving

how you ask

is that possible

well the overall size hasn't changed much

it is measuring 1.5x2 on a good day

and 2x2 on a bad day

(when she won't hold her head still)

but

the overall clarity and skin definition is so much better

and

it is growing hair!!

this is a good thing!

this means the skin underneath is healthy and pushing through

here is the most recent picture

so we patiently wait

for the size to decrease

but rejoice in the improvements we are seeing

changes

2012-06-08T19:50:00.000+07:00

it has been two weeks

since i posted about

{the hemangioma}

and

you can read all the updates

{here}

but in the past two weeks we have seen significant changes!!!

here she is 2 weeks ago at her 3 month pic

shocked look as usual!

here is a close up of the hemangioma

the ulceration

(black area)

is still there but way smaller

and here she is a week ago

and today

no more ulceration!!!

and

it is measuring 1.5x2cm

.5cm smaller

the dermatologist was impressed

stating he didn't expect to see results for 6 months!

and we are only a month in

we still have a ways to go

but

the important thing is

we are headed in the right direction

she's more than the spot on her face

2012-05-17T21:35:00.000+07:00

today we had another hemangioma appointment

and as excited as I was to post about her progress

a part of me was very annoyed.

more than I would like to admit people ask about her spot

how's it doing

how big is it now

and so on.....

while I appreciate the concern

a part of me wants to yell....

"there is more to her than the spot!!"

we've had a rough week filled with appointments

that have all turned out fine

so a part of my reaction could be from high level of anxiety

based around these appointments with many specialist

however,

i said i was going to be honest

and my honest reaction

when i sat down and write this post

was

anger

frustration

and sadness

my daughter is more than the spot on her face

she's starting to coo and laugh

she's fussy at night

which as much as I hate these moments

they are her

and i love that

she's getting into a routine

which I am thankful for

so today instead if posting specifics about her face

because frankly i am tired talking about it

i am simply going to post

that we are so thankful for everyone's concern

the hemangioma is still there,

it's improving,

and she is as wonderful as ever

one week down.....

2012-05-10T17:13:00.001+07:00

here we are at the end of week one

treatment for miss emerson's

hemangioma.

this is the hemangioma at the beginning of the treatment

honestly

i was expecting much change

since

she was only on 1/2 strength dosage

but

we did see change!!!

last week's measurements

were

2x2.5cm

and

.8cm deep

this week

the hemangioma looks like this

changes we've noticed

1) it looks more defined

2) the scabbing is starting to come off

3)less spidering

and the measurements are...

(drum roll please!)

2x2.2 cm

(shrunk .3 cm)

and

.6 cm deep

(shorter by .2 cm)

YAY!!

now we are on a full dosage of propranolol

and

will go back to the doctor next week

for

a weight check

and

more measurements!

she just found out she weighs a whopping 12 lbs.

she's my wide eyed beauty!

hemangioma treatment week one!!

2012-05-04T22:32:00.002+07:00

yesterday we started treatment on

miss emmi's hemangioma

treatment for now

will consist of

twice a day dose of

{propranolol}

weekly weight checks

and

blood sugar checks

weight checks because

the dosage is based on weight

blood sugar checks

because

a major side effect is low blood sugar

which is a big no no in an infant

when can we expect to see results???

between 3 weeks

and

14 months

wow

that's a time frame

already though

after 3 treatments

we've seen some minor changes

one being the color of the hemangioma

the second

being less spidering around the hemangioma

so i figure we can track the changes together.

here we are at week one

it looks painful

but it isn't

the medicine made specially for her

they say it's cherry flavor!!

yum!

and a quick review of the growth of her hemangioma

here she is at one month

it's still flat here and we were still under the impression

it was from the tape used on the ng tube

and here is two months

what a change!!!

but that is very characteristic of an hemangioma

they just bloom over night practically

so weekly we will watch it shrink

and notice the changes together

but

she is NOT in pain

and

we are very optimistic that it will heal quickly

and with minimal scarring!

looking forward to next week's pictures

measurements for this week are 2x2.5 cm and 1 cm deep!

any wages on next week's measurements??

but she's a preemie...

2012-04-30T00:37:00.001+07:00

i've debated writing this post for some time

but

i've always said i'd be an open book

and

an open book i will be

i'm going to try and streamline this post

but it's a very difficult

post

and composed of many aspects

so bear with me if i take a left turn somewhere

i promise to try and make some sense

let me precede this post with this thought

i was never diagnosed with
{post partum depression}

nor do i think i had it

and i don't want to make light of it

post partum depression is a very serious illness

and

those who think they are suffering from it should seek medical attention

before i ever had emerson

a good friend warned me about

"baby blues"

she explained they last about two weeks

and

you cry for no reason at all

it's just hormones getting adjusted

this was the best pregnancy advice i received

i didn't realize it at the time

but

when the "baby blues" hit me

i was so thankful i knew what was going on with my self

emerson was 7 weeks early

some may say

"that's not that premature"

(in fact i have been told that)

but

to those i respond

"whether she was one week early or 10 weeks she spent time in the nicu which was the scariest part of her birth"

then the follow up appointments occur

and with each appointment

i am reminded by some medial professional

"well remember she is premature"

a part of me wants to yell

"um yea i know i was there"

but i bite my tongue

and just nod

and because she was premature

you are informed of all the risks she is subjected to

like developmental delays

cognitive delays

etc

and at aviano

they send a physical therapist out

once a month

to make sure your premature baby

developing normally

for me

that means once a month

i am reminded that i failed to carry full term

there is certain guilt that comes with a premature baby

(at least i experienced a guilt)

my only job

was to carry this wonderful creature for 40 weeks

(or at least 36)

and i felt like a failure

and when you are reminded of it constantly

you can't help but feel the guilt over and over and over again

and i can't speak for parents of term babies

maybe they experience a guilt as well

when something goes wrong

or the doc observes something abnormal

but for me

even the simplest thing as a weight check

became a guilt fest

even though she's gaining so well

so for those who are pregnant

i warn you about baby blues

and

if/when you find yourself crying

because you still can't eat gelato

(yes i cried because gelato still made me sick)

your husband didn't put the trash bag in the trash can just the right way

know that this too shall pass

also

for those who have preemies

or babies in the nicu

hang in there

talk to someone about any guilt you have

try to find a support system with other parents in the nicu

we did

even though it was an italian hospital

there were two other american families

so we had a nice support system

and

love on your baby!

me lovin' on my baby!!

what's that on her face?!?!?: a lesson in infant dermatology

2012-04-23T20:06:00.001+07:00

there isn't a day that goes by

that someone doesn't ask

"what's that on her face?"

a part of me wants to reply

"what on her face? i don't see anything"

then the nice person

the not rude person

wants to take the opportunity to educate

and inform

the questioning person

of her birthmark

known as a hemangioma

hemangiomas

are birthmarks

that are more likely

to occur in

caucasian

females

who are premature

hello emerson!

at birth they usually aren't visible

but about 2-4 weeks after birth they become apparent

which in her case

we thought it was from the tape of the ng tube

but within a week or so after that it became bigger

and a week after that even bigger

and today it's even bigger

(happy two months sweetie!!!)

but they

tell me this is normal

and that the birthmark will go away on its own

however

there are

treatments

ranging from

beta blockers

laser surgery

and

surgical removal

because her spot

ulcerated

and

close to her eye

more than likely we will treat it

we meet with the dermatologist

this week

to determine a treatment plan

but

her spot will

most likely

go away

with or without treatment

so there is your lesson in infant dermatology!

happy monday

and

happy 2 months to our sweet emmi!

do you breast feed?????

2012-04-20T01:14:00.001+07:00

welcome to aviano!

oh you have a baby!

so do you breast feed??

it's a question i have encountered

more than

"how old is your baby"

here at aviano

your nursing cover

is more in style

than a louis vuitton bag

step one

get a really cool nursing cover

thanks mimi!

step two

have a baby

(maybe this should be step one but the nursing cover is just really a cool accessory!)

got the baby

isn't she a doll???

now bring out the boob!!!

wait!

my baby is a preemie!

wait!

the nicu wouldn't let me breast feed

oh no!!!!

maybe i can just wear the really cool nursing cover and hide her underneath

maybe no one will notice

but here at aviano

where breast feeding is the standard

that just won't happen

the lactation consultant

swarms in on me

and

waves her wand!

don't get me wrong

i love my consultant!

she's awesome

she goes above and beyond

what i would do

and

she never gave up on me

offering different ideas

suggestions

and

did i mention she breastfed her adopted child!!

yes her adopted child

so i figure if she can do it

so can i!

problem number one:

baby screams at breast...

oh no..

enter laction consultant with wand in hand and

poof!

i can proudly say

that although it took two weeks

two very long weeks

my baby no longer screams at the breast

success number one!

problem number two:

i don't have enough milk

geeze!

this breast feeding thing can be tiresome

here comes the lactation consultant with her wand!!

and

domperidone

fenugreek

and

the pump

now

enter a regimented feeding plan

breast,

pump,

bottle

repeat

breast,

pump,

bottle,

repeat.....

maybe one day we will eliminate the bottle

but for now

it works

my baby is growing like a weed

impressing the docs with her growth

and

i can proudly answer

yes i breast feed

it wasn't easy getting to this answer

i know we aren't at a whole hearted yes

and some people would argue i'm not breast feeding

because she still gets a bottle

but to those negative nancy's

i say hush!

there have been moments

where i wanted to give up

but

with the support of my husband

my mimi

my lactation consultant

and

fellow moms here at aviano

and back in oklahoma

emerson and i

can be in style here

at aviano

wearing a really cool nursing cover!

emerson's story.....giving birth in an italian hospital

2012-03-11T21:16:00.000+07:00

Where to start?
Well let’s start at the beginning of Thursday February 23
at about 6:30 in the morning.
I got out of bed like any normal day,
fed the dogs
then went to the bathroom.
I still had some time before my NST
(non-stress test)
so I decided to climb back in bed.
I was supposed to be on modified bed rest ya know.
Once back in bed I had the strangest sensation,
like I wet my pants.
Now don’t get me wrong,
throughout a pregnancy
one may question the efficiency of their bladder
but I had never wet myself!
I got back up, went back to the bathroom,
decided to shower
and once I got out of the shower
I realized there was no way I had this much urine in my body.
I woke up the hubby and tried to remain calm,
but once the words, “I think my water broke” came out of my mouth I immediately started to cry.
This wasn’t supposed to happen not yet.
I was only 33 weeks.
He was calm and said, “Call the doctor” so I did.
When the nurse came on the phone I told her,
“I think my water broke because there is no way I have this much urine in my body.”
She laughed and told me to come on in so away we went to Aviano AB Clinic. By the time we got there I had soaked through
1 pair of underwear,
a pair of Ken’s boxers
(don’t ask me, during my thought process I thought his boxers would provide more absorption than another pair of underwear),
a pair of pants,
and a towel.
I begged Kenneth to walk behind me going into the clinic
because I didn’t want anyone to think I wet my pants.
The staff at Aviano Labor and Delivery was awesome and so caring,
explaining to me that yes my water had broken and I was in labor.
According to the monitor I was having pretty strong contractions
a minute to two apart.
I didn’t feel anything honestly.
I was still in shock over how much water came out of my body.
I was pooling at the foot of the bed, they had to bring in a mop! (TMI?)
Since Aviano isn’t prepared to handle a premature baby
I was informed that I was being transported to Pordenone.
This is like hearing your 5 star resort that you had planned on staying at overbooked
and now you were forced to stay in the hostel next door.
So the ambulance came and off I went.
Within in 5 ½ hours of my water breaking Emerson was here via emergency C-section (she was breech).
So what’s the big deal about delivering at Pordenone?
First
was Kenneth was not in the room with me when I delivered.
He was not allowed in there.
I tried to just breathe and stay strong throughout the surgery
but honestly I just wanted my husband there.
Imagine being strapped to a bed, can’t feel your legs, and everyone is talking in a language you really don’t understand.
Then the second horror came, I
wasn’t allowed to see her for 24 hours.
Since she was in the NICU they couldn't bring her to me
and they didn't want me in a wheel chair
or walking
due to my C-Section.
Talk about being set up for postpartum depression!
Rip the baby out of my belly,
stick me in a 10x10 room without a TV
(TV’s aren’t in the Pordenone hospital),
and tell me I can’t see my premature child.
Thankfully they bent the visiting hours so Kenneth could see more of her.
I will discuss visiting hours later.
Then the hunger striked.
I hadn’t eaten since the night before.
Wonderful friends brought food, snacks, etc
only for the Italian nurse to tell me “No mangi domani”
(No eating until tomorrow).
Oh goodness….
Can’t see my child,
can’t eat,
no source of entertainment….
I was a hot mess.
A calm hot mess but internally I was a mess.
Kenneth brought up an overnight bag for me
including a computer with movies and my ipad.
However, he couldn’t stay the night
so at 9pm prompt
the nurse asked him to leave.
Another horror:
Pain control

Pain control in an Italian hospital consisted of IV drip of the equivalent to Motrin
and the next day
when the IV came out
the equivalent to Tylenol.
But when they finally told me I could walk the next day,
I did,
despite the pain.
I do believe the lack of narcotics,
and me having to face my pain,
helped me recover faster.
Either that or I have a higher tolerance of pain than I give myself credit for.

The next morning!
Sweet Jesus I can eat!!!
Imagine my thoughts when they brought me this for breakfast.
A bowel of hot tea…..
And for the next day and a half
I was on a liquid diet
so chicken soup for lunch and dinner
and tea for breakfast.
I was about to die of starvation.
Then they came and told me I could see my daughter
but it was only 11:30
so Kenneth couldn’t go see her.
Remember I mentioned visiting hours…
yes, Kenneth was only allowed to see her from 12-2 and 7-9.
I didn’t want to see her by myself.
I feared I wouldn’t recognize her (I had only seen pictures)
and I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her in a NICU.
I was very much blaming myself for her preterm delivery.
I felt cheated out of so many pregnancy events
and feared for her health and well being.
So I cried, and told the nurses I wouldn’t go without my husband
and how dare they try to break up the family unit,
why didn’t they respect the family unit,
didn’t they understand the importance of a father in a child’s life,
pretty much my syllabus from my Family Therapy class from grad school.
Gotta love hormones.
At noon, my husband and I went as a family to see our daughter.
It was a great moment.
We didn’t get to hold her until that evening
but that day
despite the rocky beginning
was wonderful.

Three days later I was released.
Leaving her there was so hard.
Another pregnancy dream of going home baby in tote was shattered.
But we came back every day twice to see her
and when I felt comfortable driving
I would go in the morning to bathe her
so I saw her three times a day.
These were good days.

Our time was getting longer and longer in the NICU
and we were getting more impatient to bring her home.
She had been there 10 days
when she was back at her birth weight
and eating all the required feedings.
They still were not showing any signs of discharging her.
However, after we showed our ‘angry American” side,
me more so than my husband,
on day 15 she was discharged.
We’ve had her home two days now,
and looking back on my Italian delivery,
I realize three things,
1) they do care for their patients which ultimately is the most important things
2) my italian grew by leaps and bounds the 15 days I was forced to use it
and
3) Americans are very spoiled by their hospitals
(and I miss being spoiled!)

****

Pictures of an Italian hospital
First there are no "birthing suites"
typically there are three women to a room,
however,
since I was American
they put me in the "American" room
(the only private room)

my 10x10 room
and there wasn't a bathroom
just a sink and a locker

If I wanted to use the bathroom
I had to walk down the hall
to the community bathroom and shower

please don't ever accuse me

of not emersing myself in Italian culture

this was pure immersion!

and since my food was tea

wonderful friends made sure we had real food

well snacks

when I was finally allowed to eat

I swear the Italian nurse wanted to take my food away!

she kept looking at it......

it's italian tradition to decorate the door with appropriate color bows, ribbon etc

of the new baby

here is my decoration thanks to kenneth's aunt, uncle and cousin!

finally a look down my hallway

and most importantly

our emerson

going home!!

horizontal day 5...meet the parole board

2012-02-03T15:46:00.001+05:00

last week

i was handed this

and i accepted my fate

with little to no apprehension

the past week i've

laid around,

read some books,

watched some tv

caught up on shreddingf

and

for the most part

not broke the 1-2 hour rule

that the docs set in front of me

today

i had a meeting with

the parole board

aka the docs

i did my hair

put on some makeup

even shaved my legs

and for anyone who's been pregnant

you know shaving your legs in the third trimester

is nothing less than impressive!

hoping to receive

and i did!!!!!!

sorta

the doc said i could go back to work

but with restrictions

i had to continue to

'take it easy'

so that marathon i was planning on running

yep not going to happen

seriously you think i wanna run a marathon?!?

no heavy lifting

no vigorous walking

no heavy cleaning

and

i get to see their smiling faces

twice a week

to continue to monitor

i was elated!!!

i went to the school

told the kiddos

who greeted me with a surprise

and

get well/take care cards!!!

love those kiddos!!!!

so monday i will go back to work

woohoo!!!

and

take it a week at a time!

and take it easy as well!

horizontal...day 4

2012-02-02T13:22:00.000+05:00

day four

let me tell you this being on bedrest

as modified as it is

is for the dogs

they seem to be doing better at resting than me

so what have i done

in day 2

and in day 3

to keep me busy

i know you are dying to know

because it is oh so exciting!

remember in

{day one}

i mentioned my hour or two of freedom was to be spent at a bible study?

well that didn't happen

maik decided i was better off in bed

and as i was leaning over

to put on my boot

he jumped on the bed

and

wham!

i am now modeling cover girl's new spring color

"lights out"
i am not a fan of the color
please don't invest in it

so that brings us to day two

and

i decide to spend my hour

grocery shopping

yep, exciting i know!!!

day three

this is the good stuff folks

i tackle my mountain of shredding

that i have put off for about a year now

the problem was i kept blowing fuses

another great thing about living oconus

and i am too cheap to buy a 220 shredder

but
alas

the shredding is done!!!

woohoo!!!!

i feel so accomplished

today

day 4

i am breaking free!

for an hour or two

promise

and having lunch with a dear friend

and a really smart one year old little girl

however,

i may forget my watch!

horizontal....day one

2012-01-30T16:30:00.000+05:00

so the time has come

we had a feeling it would happen

i dreaded it would happen

but

alas it did

after friday's appointment

the doc

has put me on

"modified bedrest"

why you ask?

trust me i screamed this!!

too much amniotic fluid

too weak of cervix

and a really big baby

so what is

"modified bedrest"

dr google

will give you a lot of information

but

{what to expect}

has a great article

the nuts and bolts

of it

per the doctor's orders were

"sleep in late,

take lots of naps,

go to bed early

and

only about an hour or two out of the house a day"

my husband's response

"honey, if you played xbox that's some quality xbox time"

secretly i think he wanted the doc to give him

modified bedrest orders

so he could "support" me

today

is my first day unsupervised

since hubby is at work

and yes he has already called to check on me

to make sure i'm following doctor's orders

to be trusted to stay off my feet

so what have i done?

because frankly this is a form of cruel and unusual punishment

first i read....

today's book

an odd beginning but overall a good book

then...

since we all know how great AFN's line up is

i enjoyed

a little grey's

with o'malley!!

yes you heard me right

afn still plays grey's

with o'malley

and who doesn't love o'malley?!?

finally...

finished the day off

with

a nice movie

i'm a sucker for romantic comedies

and jennifer lopez movies

my hour or two free from house arrest

will be spent at bible study

asking God for sanity for the next 7 weeks

friday

i go back to the doc

my hope is that they may revoke

the "modified bedrest"

order

but till then

i will follow doc's orders

enjoy some cuddle time with the pups

read some good books

watch some good movies

and

truly cherish the one to two hours of freedom a day

we've got funneling!

2012-01-08T13:55:00.000+05:00

as an okie

i am very familiar with the term

"funneling"

you will hear it on the news at least three times a week

between the months of march and june

and

more than not your favorite show

will be interrupted

at least once

with a meteorologist speaking of

funneling activity

in a county that only a true okie could pronounciate

but when the ob

talked about funneling

i was a little taken back

ok i was really taken back

a part of me was waiting on the infamous Gary England

to come across the ultrasound monitor and tell me what county funneling was spotted

turns out your cervix can funnel

this is NOT my funnel this is courtesy of google search

and

like the funneling

i've been referring to

this type of funneling is not good either

will a tornado touch down in utero

no! but we are definitely now being "watched"

like the thousands of okies that glue to their tv

when storm chasers are trying to get the best shot

of that funnel cloud

so what does a funneling cervix mean?

not quite sure...

lamens terms

i am dilating from the inside out

dr google terms

i am about to deliver a baby

and should seek bed rest immediately!

stay away form dr google please!

the doctors have not put me on bed rest!

we are just back on two week checks for now

and

making sure this funnel doesn't grow

i knew that i was at risk for preterm labor

but

the pregnancy has been so easy so far

measurements have been good

baby is measuring three weeks larger than we should be

this is our first real complication

for now i will not worry

and just pretend

Gary England

is giving me a play by play

that i am so use to hearing

every spring

now what county should we call my cervix?

personality from the womb?

2011-12-22T23:13:00.000+05:00

is it possible for a child

to show their personality

from the womb?

my answer: yes!

since we've gotten to 'see' our little one

every two weeks

we've seen some of her habits

and so have the docs

which thankfully they just laugh

today

for instance

when trying to get a heart beat

lower than 170

she wouldn't cooperate

she kept kicking the wand

which we could hear

and moving about

and when she's moving

her heartbeat stays at 170

after about 10 minutes

she finally calmed down for about a minute

and we got a "good"

heartbeat

but you guessed it

she kicked the wand again and started moving

the doc just laughed and said

"she's going to be an athlete"

when it comes to our dogs

she's already made her choice

when maik lays his head on my belly

as he is doing so here

she kicks till he moves

when admiral leans on my belly

or puts his head on it

or spoons with it

she is calm

no kicking at all!

she pushes her hand in front of ultrasound wands

she moves all the time

to the point the docs say

"oh i remember this baby"

when they try do an ultrasound

but

despite all these quirks

that we've started to notice

she is ours!

and she is healthy

and happy

and

measuring bigger

14 days!!!

than she should be

which is excellent due to my condition

we are no longer on 2 week checks at the ob!!

but will be seen every 4 from radiology

to make sure she has room to grow

and

are considered "normal" for now!!!!

i hope she is as feisty in my arms

as she is in the womb

i hope she leaves a blazing trail

and

people know when she's coming

and when she's been there

she's spunky

and strong

and for our little girl

i couldn't ask for better qualities!

24 weeks measuring 26!

merry christmas!

from all of us

including the spunky one in the womb!

admiral and maik meet baby

2011-12-05T01:10:00.000+05:00

this weekend

some friends

graciously let us "borrow"

their 13 month old

under their supervision of course

to determine how our four legged kiddos

would do with a child

they have never been introduced to one before!

maik's reaction

was priceless

i really wish i would have had my camera ready

maik and baby met at a corner

maik stopped stared at baby

eyes big

baby stopped and stared at maik

eyes big

maik hid behind me

baby found mom

then maik

retreated to his crate for the rest of the night

admiral on the other hand loved every minute of baby time

if baby would cry

admiral was there licking him till he either stopped crying

or cried some more

admiral even shared his bone!

and allowed all "petting" from baby

but my favorite pic of all

is this one

watching admiral and baby

makes me even more excited for our little one

to meet our four legged kiddos

and for them

to meet her!

a huge thank you to our friends

who so graciously let us "borrow"

their son!

smooth sailing so far!!

2011-12-05T00:21:00.000+05:00

so about two months ago

give or take a month

i posted

about

{my unique uterus}

and

promised

to be a good support for others like

well

i failed!

i didn't mean to....

i can provide you with a list of excuses

1) internet in italy sucks

2) i've been busy

3) i went stateside for almost a month

wait this one negates the number one

and the bad internet

but honestly

there is no excuse

i have been so fortunate

that even though i'm

"high risk"

this pregnancy has been so smooth

i'm going every two weeks for ultrasounds

and every time

we get excellent news

we've watched our little one grow

thanks to the many ultrasounds

so thank you for the continued support

and prayers

it is because of the prayers

that this has been easier than expected

we did find out

that

we are having a girl!

she is already adorable!!!

she is a mover and a shaker

she is measuring quite large for her age

and

i've been feeling her move

since sixteen weeks!!!

we are so blessed

to have the support, love, and prayers

from friends and family!

thank you all!!

knock you butt(er) naked brownies!

2011-09-16T02:12:00.002+07:00

i have made

{knock you naked brownies}

courtesy of pioneer woman

many times

and trust me they are delicious!

but tonight

after making them

and having some left over ingredients

and some other ingredients

i decided to be creative

without further adieu

i present you

"knock you butt(er) naked brownies"

let me explain the butter

i used

reese peanut butter pieces

in lieu of chocolate chips

pretty creative huh?!?

another change i made:

i used duncan hines

triple chocolate fudge

and

added

hershey's chocolate syrup

i'm not craving chocolate or anything!

the steps are exactly like pw's recipe

you will need

1/2 cup of melted butter

evaporated milk

cake mix

be creative here folks!

then i added just a drizzle of chocolate syrup

mix it all together

put half the batter

in a 9x9 greased pan

pop it in the oven at 350 for 8-10 minutes

while that's cooking

take your caramels

unwrapped of course!

add it to 1/2 cup of evaporated milk

and melt

in a double boiler

once melted pour over your

half of batter baked mixture

sprinkle your reese's pieces

we just bought halloween candy

so i used that

it's not stealing from kids

it's being resourceful!

then add the other half of the batter on top

pop it back in the oven

for 20-25 minutes

let cool

then

sprinkle with powdered sugar!

then

enjoy

your

knock you butt(er) naked brownies!

i have a what?!?

2011-09-08T23:26:00.001+07:00

i've been wanting to post

for a long time

but

my sister was here
then we went back to school

and

i only had one thing

i really wanted to post about

and

i told my husband i would wait...

but it was soooo hard
rewind to august 4
by persuasion from kenneth
i bought a box
peed on a stick
and saw

then

kenneth bought me these

notice they are non gender specific?

then the doctor

gave me this

along with the news

that

i might be high risk

excuse me?!?

can't you just call me special?

after crying

for days

and thinking

what was wrong with me

i got more of

these

and after waiting

what seemed like forever

i found out

that i have a

{septate uterus}

possibly

{bicornuate uterus}

they aren't quite sure because

my uterus has already started to expand

because i got a baby in there!!!!

both conditions happen in only 20-33% of women

and what it means

is my uterus is split

tmi?

well stop reading

i'm trying to be honest and real

and

provide support for those who went through

or may be going through

the anxiety driven weeks i've been through

what does this mean for the baby?

it means

i am at a slightly higher risk to deliver preterm

(before 37 weeks)

i more than likely will have a c-section

due to a breech or transverse baby

and

i will get to see my doc

alot more than any pregnant woman would want to!

but i'm excited about more pictures and more chances to hear my babies heartbeat!

go ahead and dr. google the terms!

it will scare you to death

it did me

now

breathe

and

try to remain positive

we are!

my baby has a strong heartbeat

fluid levels look great

and

the doc said overall my pregnancy is looking

good

now

as i always promise to do

and fail multiple times

i will post more

especially since i know i am not the only one who has this condition

i am not considering myself high risk

just

special

my favorite ultrasound shot

because you see the heartbeat too!

keep us in your prayers

and all my other pregnant friends out there!

that we will welcome

healthy baby boy

or girl

not much earlier

than

april 9, 2011

strike one!

2011-08-03T17:48:00.000+07:00

the chasemieseter has a birthday coming up

yay! i love birthdays!!!

and

he's been gone

all summer

which means

i've missed him

a lot!

so when the captain

started talking about his birthday

i was overly eager to help

i volunteered to make the cake

what!? am i crazy!?

absence makes the heart grow founder

and

the brain go stupider!

and needless to say

i volunteered to make this cake

a good friend referred me to this picture

and

to all the supplies i needed

i know

i'm crazy

but i figured

why not!

so yesterday

i did a "practice cake"

and boy am i glad i did

first

i elected to go with

duncan hines yellow cake mix

its easy

and

its something i can't screw up

so here are my players

and yes there is a glass of wine

don't judge

i'm baking in italy!

to make this cake possible

i've had to order

alot from

amazon.com

this 3d mold

and

this fondant

in green and blue

let me digress a bit

i've never worked with fondant

never

and

frankly after last night

i don't know if i ever will

but that my friends

is another story

back to our story

i build my cake

just as the box says

and make another box

for the baseball mold

now the direction say grease the ball molds

until there is no metal shining through

i think i did this job well!

split the batter in between the two ball halves

and place in the oven

these take a long time to bake

about 20-30 minutes longer than the square pans

and

the top will get brown

before the middle get done

don't worry!

you will be cutting the top off anyway

i found my butter cream frosting

recipe

from

{all recipes}

and doesn't it look delicious!!!

the recipe called for 8 cups of powdered sugar

i did not have 8 cups

so i cut the recipe in half

big mistake!!

i did not have nearly enough icing

but like i said

it was a practice cake

back to building the cake!!

once your square cakes are done

and

cooled

this is key!!!

level them

with

your cake leveler

this is a simple tool

but a must!!!

take your leveled cake

like so

and frost it

remember i said

i didn't make enough icing

well notice in these pics....

once you've got one iced

put the other one on top of it

and ice away!

don't forget that baseball in the oven!

pull the halves out and let them cool

i repeat let them cool

this is what happens when you don't

see i told you!

thank goodness i only needed one half!

once it's cooled

your are going to level the bottom of the ball

which was the top that was browned in the oven

place on top of the cake

and ice away!

my cake looks rough!

i would NOT serve this at a kiddo's birthday

but

what i learned from my practice cake is

1) i'm not going to use this much fondant.

i will probably use graham crackers and butter cream on top

and make it look like a field

or just butter cream like picture

2) i will buy red icing. i could not get the icing to turn red

regardless of how much red food coloring i put in

3) did i mention i will make more icing

yep definitely need more

4) i will not start the cake at eight o'clock at night

and finally

less fondant!

it looks rough

it tasted good

but

i have hope

that in three weeks

i will not strike out

and

the chasemiester will have a wonderful birthday!

time flies when your are having fun

2011-07-29T13:13:00.000+07:00

{july 19, 2010}

i was leaving work

when kenneth called

and said,

"how do you feel about living in italy?"

it's hard to believe

that it's been a year

i was looking back at some of my old posts

and

so much has changed in this year

the obvious

i'm in italy

many friends have welcomed {new additions }

to their famileis

we've said goodbye to a {beloved pup }

we've met { new friends }

and

i've learned a lot about {myself}

would i do italy all over again

yes

and i wouldn't change the headaches

the tears

the moments where i felt like i was going crazy

for anything

i've had many 'favorite posts'

over the year

which i've included

for your reading pleasure

{ford vs ledge}

{my affair}

{how to get a dog to pee in a cup}

{oh no he didn't}

happy year of blogging anniversary to me

thank you for reading

and

tolerating my moments of insanity

moments when i think i can cook

and

moments when i just feel

like babbling

cowboy leftovers to pasta cuisine

2011-07-25T16:59:00.000+07:00

last night i made

{the pioneer woman's cowboy calzone}

it's a great reciepe

and i highly recommend it

and i had some of the

meat mixture

left over

today

i didn't want calazone

and didn't want to throw out the meat

i thought

and thought

opened my cabinets

to see what

if any groceries i had

today is the must go grocery shopping

or starve to death day

and

i saw this

and thought

"hmmm... backed penne with cowboy calazone meat mixture..

sure...

why not"

i cooked the pasta

you know

boil water, add pasta, cook 8-10 minutes, drain water

if i can make pasta without looking at directions

so can you

used my 8x8 pan

you can use a 9x13 but

i didn't have that much meat to cover a 9x13

layer it

meat, noodles, meat, noodles, etc

top with parmasean

and shredded mozzarella

place it in the oven

i did 350*F for 20 minutes

and

voila!

you have a new dish

made with leftovers

and

it wasn't half bad either!

i would definitely make it again if i had left overs from cowboy calazones

thankful thursday: it's her birthday!

2011-07-21T13:10:00.001+07:00

because

during our chat this week

she said

"i miss your baking blogs"

wow! really! someone reads them?!

because

cupcakes make me happy

because

she loves summer

and these are the perfect summer cupcakes

because i have new kitchen island

just waiting to get dirty!

and because

{kristi's}

birthday is today

i tackled a new recipe

{fluffy lime cupcakes with lime frosting}

yum.

first like any good american

cooking in italy

open a bottle of wine!

now we are ready to bake!!

mix your dry ingredients

the flour, baking powder, and salt

set that aside

and whisk four egg whites and buttermilk together

set that aside

prepare your lime zest

remember

{this}

yep, the grater still scares me

grate away

then step back and take a moment to smell the aroma in your kitchen

lime smells delicious, fresh, crisp!

now pull out your stand mixer!

i'm going to digress here so bear with me!

or skip down three pictures

pull out my mixer?!?

in italy i have yet to use my stand mixer

mainly because it ain't easy

and counter space was limited

but now i have a new island!

so i lug out the 2000 watt transformer

it's heavy and ugly

so i usually hide it

i mean who wants to answer the question

"what's the theme of your kitchen"

with

"electrical conversion equipment"?

then i found my stand mixer

plugged it in to the transformer

and prayed i didn't blow the breaker

success!

i still have lights after turning it on!

ok back to the cupcakes!

add your sugar and lime zest in the stand mixture

then blend it together

i used my hands it made my hands smell like lime all day

yum.

beat in your butter

your lime juice

and your lime extract

disclaimer:

i could NOT find lime extract at the commissary

so i squeezed some of the lime from the lime zest into the batter

then

the recipe breaks down how to add in your dry mixture

and your egg/milk mixture that you set aside

honestly

because i'm not good in math

and i become overly anxious

wondering if i added in 1/3 or 1/4

i just alternated adding in the two different mixtures

a little dry, then a little of the wet, a little more of the dry

well you get the idea

and after it's all combined

it looks something like this

this is where i do the

"make sure it doesn't kill you"

taste test

really i just like batter

and trust me folks!

this is good batter!!

before you eat all the batter

remember you have to make cupcakes

so fill those cupcake pans

put it in the good ol' oven at 350 for about 18-20 minutes

or until they look like this

and your kitchen smells heavenly!

while they cool

and trust me you want the cool before you frost them

i tried rushing the frosting bit

and it melted off the cupcake

i'm impatient i wanted to eat one!

make your frosting

and you get to use your stand mixer again!!

yay!!

take your chilled heavy whipping cream

and

whip it with the balloon whisk attachment

until it has a peak

this takes a little while

be patient

then add your sugar

and lime zest

the recipe calls for 2 tablespoons of sugar

i didn't like the consistency of the frosting

so i

added another 1/2 tablespoon

and still not pleased

i remembered that

{the pioneer woman}

uses powdered sugar a lot in frostings

so i added 1/2 tablespoon

a minute later

i was pleased

then ice your cupcakes

and garnish with more lime zest

or fresh lime slices

and enjoy.

i will say this

the cupcakes were a little dry for me

this could be baker error

but next time

i might try a stick and a half of butter

i'm not a professional

i'm a trial and error kind of gal

and

i know anything with butter is usually very moist

so why not try more butter?!

so for my dear friend

kristi

happy birthday

i am so thankful that you are in my life

i wish i was there to enjoy your day with you

i miss you

and will see you very soon!!!

roma

2011-07-19T12:35:00.001+07:00

so i finally did it

a month and a half later

i uploaded my pictures from rome

to my computer

now

if i only had time to edit all 700 plus photos

but alas

i must work

so here are some of my favorite

actually a minimal amount of my favorites

due to the slooooow internet in my little italian village

if i haven't said it before

i will say it now

i love the colosseum

it amazes me!

a candid moment of two of my favorite people

trevi fountain

another one of my favorite places in rome

a simple picture

yet it's one of my favorite

traditionally

i am not a 'big-city' kind of gal

but

there is something about rome

that i love

and

despite it being a large city

i find myself

dreaming about living in an apartment

looking over the trevi fountain

and

spending countless hours

walking the streets

finding new wonders

and

eating a lot of gelato!

more rome pictures to come soon!

promise!

mail call!!!

2011-07-11T23:07:00.001+07:00

you get the piece of paper in your mailbox

that says

"please go pick up your parcel"

actually it's quite rude and says

"first notice"

you anxiously wait in line

with all the other hopefuls

you check facebook

you text whoever you think will listen

you do something to make the time go buy

then

its your turn

you hand your "notice" over

and the mail clerk

slowly walks around

acting like he or she just started yesterday

and you wanna scream

"come on man! get my stuff! don't you know today is my day! i got a package"

then you get not one

but two boxes

woo-hoo

and it isn't dog food food!

yes we mail order our dog food

the pups have to have their special food

spoiled yes

and in those boxes

clothes!

a book!

goodies!

and

coupons!

support the military!

find a military family living overseas,

send them your expired coupons!

all for you!

nothing, nada, zilch for the pups

ok, i admit i am jealous the dogs get more boxes than i do

my dad

sends me boxes routinely!

filled with magazines

snacks

tidbits of stuff

to make me feel like i'm still stateside

but today

was clothes

and i need clothes

but

i was surprised with the bottle of cream soda

from pops

that had the whale in oklahoma on it

we use drive past that whale during family vacations

and the book

"think"

this book is hilarious

and just what i needed

after last month!

so thank you daddy

for all the time

money

and thought

you put into the boxes

they make my life just a little bit easier.

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

2011-07-09T02:11:00.000+07:00

remember

{my mission}

well

today

actually the past few weeks

i've been trying to change a light bulb

seriously folks, don't laugh!

but my kitchen light went out three weeks ago

thankfully

it is summer so it stays light outside longer

and

i have a big window in my kitchen

my first attempt was to buy this

it's circular

and i knew the lightbulb at home was circular

and it was the only circular light bulb at the store

this was the wrong choice

the wrong 15 euro choice mind you

that's equivalent to about 18-20 american dollars

so i thought i would do the smart thing

and take the light bulb down

only to find

that it has a battery!

this is my ah-ha moment

but then i forgot to take the battery to the store

at the store i had two options

and since both were relatively inexpensive

i bought both

and

again

fail!

sorta

the battery fit

but the light just flickered

kenneth said

"hun, i think it's the light bulb"

emphasizing light bulb

so i did the thing i should have done to begin with

i took the light bulb out

took it to another store

and

found it!

however,

when i got home

opened the box

i realized it didn't come with batteries

but wait!

remember i had already bought some

and

guess what

they fit!!

yay!!!

with a click of a switch

i had light!

and

to answer the question

it only takes one blonde to change a lightbulb

one very persistent blonde