Mom's Happy Handful

Worth the wait

2015-02-14T15:19:00.001-06:00

Keaton was girl number three for me. I was neck-deep in grad school and teaching full-time when she came along, but she didn't slow us down. In fact, she just jumped in and joined the party! Thankfully, Diney and Big Daddy were the kind of grandparents willing to sacrifice their newly-retired lifestyle to accommodate a newborn (full-time) and her older sisters (nearly full-time). Baby Keaton got a big 'ole dose of lovin' from them and she was the happiest little girl around.

And she stayed happy. Happy baby. Happy toddler. Happy young girl. She had the neatest sense of humor, the funniest expressions, and the heartiest laugh. She was open, transparent even, wanting to talk to me about everything. Beyond amiable, she was quick to obey and tried diligently to do as she was asked. She stood out where ever she went. Her big brown eyes caught people's attention, but the brightness in her, the joyfulness of her heart was what drew them close.

Of all the children, I believe she suffered the most when things began unraveling for us. Her brightness began to slowly dim. She was suddenly afraid, and like the rest of us, tried desperately to please in a no-win situation. Because of reasons beyond her control, or mine for that matter, she was forced to skip the 5th grade. If you know much about education, you know how vitally important 5th grade is, and missing out on such large chunks of information put her at an extreme deficit in 6th grade and beyond. She became quiet and unsure about herself. She stopped talking and was constantly angry. I think the biggest change was her sudden disobedience, the blatant disrespect that seemed to surface overnight. I remember the exact day I first experienced it. My heart sank because I could feel her slipping from me.

But she wasn't slipping toward someone else, she was simply slipping deeper into herself; hiding behind long bangs and hoodies that covered her even during our hottest Texas summers. There were no more smiles, no more joy, the laughter was gone. She was dark and brooding and isolated, looking no one in the eye. She hated us all and didn't mind saying so. She did not believe God was real and He surely wasn't accessible to her. Sadly, school was tortuous for us both. I stood there, a trained and certified school counselor who could do absolutely nothing to help my own child. I withdrew her from school and enrolled her in a temporary alternate program hoping to address whatever underlying issues were tormenting her. In that move, we found some help.

Throughout this time, Keaton would spend her free time researching fashion, hairstyles, and makeup application. As a middle-schooler, she was helping her older sisters and their friends with hair and makeup. But she was struggling academically and socially. She was very unhappy in a traditional classroom and was having difficulty excelling. So when our school district announced it was opening an accelerated high school that would house a cosmetology academy, I believed that would be our answer.

While her start at Steele was somewhat rocky (she did NOT want to be there), she slowly began to experience some success. First her grades started inching ever so slowly up. Then her cosmetology coursework started becoming more interesting to her. No longer able to hide in the back of large classrooms full of students, Keaton was one of a handful of students in her classes. Her teachers knew her name, they talked with her, they encouraged her, and contrary to what she thought could ever be, they believed in her!

My sullen, broken, lost little girl who wouldn't make eye contact with others, who wouldn't speak, who wanted nothing more than to be left alone in her misery, started to come alive again. She entered a SkillsUSA competition and was required to interview and speak in front of judges. She won at each level and then went to State and placed there as well! She has represented her school in front of the Superintendent and the Board of Education by giving a speech describing her school and the academy she now loves dearly. She has been interviewed numerous times by newspapers and even a news channel. She gives frequent tours to important community members and university leaders who come to find out more about the academy. She is on the honor role, in a Bible study, is a leader in her school, volunteers numerous hours, is in the running club, and is now working at a local spa. Just before walking in to take her state cosmetology written exam a few weeks ago, she told everyone around her to get ready because she was about to pray. She said a peace fell over her and she walked into the exam room unexpectedly calm. After failing every practice test she took up to that point, Keaton passed her Texas Cosmetology written exam.

Keaton will graduate from high school in June with her high school diploma and a license in Cosmetology from the State of Texas. She is a year younger than many in her graduating class and has worked her tail off to turn her life around in every way imaginable. She smiles now. She looks people in the eye. She hurts for others and does anything she can to help when needed. She has been transformed from the inside out. She is beautiful. She is talented. She is intelligent. And she is loved beyond her understanding.

She's back. My happy, fun, joyous little girl is back. And much like the story of the Prodigal Son, I feel like I've sat on my porch and waited on her for years. Finally I spy her; she is walking down the path to home, only she is not walking toward me. I'm not sure she realizes it, but she is walking toward Him. The One she mistrusted and questioned for so long is now her best answer. She was away but now she's back, and I am celebrating because, like Him, I know she was and will continue to be worth every single struggle, every hurdle, and every tear. This story, her story, is a miracle.

Little lessons from big bro

2015-02-07T14:59:00.001-06:00

They'd been playing outside and I could hear the frustration in his voice. Soon in they marched, him huffing. They rummaged about and worked diligently on something in the laundry room. When they emerged, I saw her hands.

Me: "Wait. What?"

Him: "She can't keep her hands together playing volleyball and she's never going to learn unless I tape them. It's important, Mom. She's got to learn."

Her: "Mom, I've GOT to learn."

They leave. I hear laughter and shouts of victory. He sure loves her.

#peytongrace #landonmichael

No sloppy seconds

2015-02-05T14:44:00.000-06:00

It took five years after Sutton was born for me to have another baby. Part of the delay was the unexpected, gut-wrenching pain of childbirth, accompanied by some unfortunate complications (I wasn't going to do THAT again), but the other issue was I knew I could never love a next child as much as my first. I found out at my initial ultrasound that Reagan was a twin, but her twin no longer had a heart beat. My hesitancy and ambivalence at having a second child went out the window when I discovered I had lost a baby. Guilt and shame covered me. Suddenly, this child I was unsure I could love whole-heartedly became a treasure I could not want more.

Reagan was everything I wasn't. She was born head-strong and very independent. From her very early years she was convinced that she was the boss of everything and everyone. Her focus in life was to play and she would hear of nothing else. She was not interested in school or rules or structured routines. She was a total free-spirit who only wanted to laugh and frolic about. She craved mama hugs, but not too long; she was very busy. Yet she watched me, analyzed me, told me what I was feeling. We were opposites in demeanor but our collective subconscious was somehow weirdly intertwined. We had an understanding.

I was "Mommy" long past what others deemed acceptable, but she didn't care. She just loved people; she loved them fiercely. As she aged she kept that love of play and the love of people, to such an extent that I tried to MAKE her stop being so overly nice to those who were so overly mean to her. It didn't work. She still loved them. They were still mean to her. She cried. I cried. She still loved them.

When I left off here in 2011, Reagan was a sophomore in high school. With Sutton away at college, the oldest child position was left wide open and Rea eagerly dove in. Consequently, as a single-parent family, we were lacking a person to do all of the "man" things. Reagan jumped in to that roll as well, taking it upon herself to be the designated TV trouble-shooter, remote control guru, read-the-instructions-and-build-stuff person, and our occasional bug-killer. She had a fearless exterior, but the real her, the frightened her, was in there, acting contrary to the way He made her, muffling the small cries of her little-girlness simply to fill a role she was never meant to play.

And as things came against us, much came against her: she had to quit playing volleyball, she had to move to a new high school her junior year, she had to leave behind friends she'd been with since kindergarten, she did without a lot, she had to start over...again. But you know what? Once she got past the hurt, the ugly curve-ball thrown at her, she just dug right in. She focused her attention on raising money for a mission trip to Zambia, she took dual college classes, she got her dream job working for the Texas Rangers, she made new and just-as-special friends at her new school, and she eeked out every glorious second of her high school experience. In short, she did what she does best: she had fun and she loved on people.

She is a sophomore in college now. I look at her and I marvel. She's still head-strong and as hard-headed as all dickens. But now I see her learning how to make those attributes work for her. It's been a challenge to convince her that she's not the "man" of the house anymore; she doesn't have to be; she shouldn't have been. My bad. Relinquishing that role has been very hard for her. But she's still the first to want to go on adventures and to try scary things and to have fun in every weird way imaginable. Basically, she continues to be everything I'm not, and I relish that. At nearly 20 years old, she still calls me Mommy. She watches me, "reads" me when I least expect it, and she is ~~rarely~~ ~~sometimes~~ usually right. And thankfully, she still likes her mama hugs, only now she's not so busy; she holds on a little longer...we both do.

On being the oldest

2015-01-29T22:11:00.001-06:00

So much has happened since I stopped posting to the blog that I decided each child deserved their own update. To make things fair (I'm sure the five others will disagree!), I am starting with the oldest because she has had to put up with me the longest:)

I had Sutton when I was 22 years old. In many ways we grew up together. No matter what happened around us, we were the one constant in each other's lives. She was a momma's-girl from the get-go. She had to see me, touch me, "feel" me wherever we were. She had such separation-anxiety, but to be truthful, I did too. Mom's have a need to be needed and she needed me like no one ever had. It filled me up. But in doing so, I created quite the clingy little girl. I used to drive my car with my left hand and stretch my right arm crooked unnaturally to the backseat to hold her hand while she was buckled in. We drove that way for years. I held her hand. She sang. My arm went to sleep. She sang louder. She would not let me let her go. She wanted her momma all. the. time. I didn't mind. It worked for us.

When I last posted on the blog in January 2011, Sutton was in college in Abilene and the other children and I were trying to rebuild our shattered family. It is hard being so far away when your family is struggling, but Sutton called and emailed and texted and called again (and again and again), and she came home every chance she could. She attempted to mother me, as she witnessed me drowning at times, but I could right myself rather quickly so I would send her back to school. That frustrated her.

Many, many, MANY tears were shed between us those few years as we tried to be there for each other, but were often unsure how. My focus was on herding and caring for the five children at home and I knew she felt left out; so far away from the people that made her whole. She was excluded, not only from the family grief, but also from our feeble, sometimes blundering, attempts at healing. I was trying to shield her, to protect her heart from the ugliness that surrounded us. But she needed more. More time. More information. More inclusion. More of me. So while the rest of us were here searching for comfort, for any form of stability before the next wave hit, she was riding her own tumultuous wave, only alone and without her momma to steady her.

We mourned her trips back to Abilene. Every time she left, there were feelings, awful raw feelings that had to be dealt with. Yet, we all found a way to make ourselves okay, to be well enough to forge into the next day, the next week, not knowing how we were going to do it when we were so incomplete, missing her, our important part.

We waited for her to return. And she always did. I relished the fact that when she came home, she loved on her siblings with everything she had. They needed to feel it as much as she needed to give it. For brief, precious moments in time, our important part was back and we were "us" again, whole again.

Then one day she came back home...with a boy. Andrew pursued her in such a sweet manner. He is an only child so you can imagine his feelings when the other five children attacked him each time he walked in the door. He was wrestled with, punched, jumped on, teased, ridden, napped on...you name it, he was fair game. But he was such a good sport and quickly became the big brother they all longed for. I could not have built a more perfect man for my daughter. And he became mine in the process of becoming hers.

They got engaged on the perfect rainy day in Texas.

They decided to marry in Abilene and those two handled ALL of their own wedding preparations! It was BEAUTIFUL!!!

And then the very BEST thing happened! When they returned from their honeymoon, they moved here! Well, not literally in my house, but just a few minutes away! Our important part that had forged out on her own was back, and she brought with her a tall handsome, just as necessary part we didn't even know was missing. And yet, with the two of them with us, we all fit so much better.

They have created a wonderful life for themselves. Andrew is a pastor at our church (he even married David and me!) and he is attending The King's University. Sutton graduated from Texas Tech University and is now a teacher at a local high school teaching sophomore English and coaching varsity volleyball. She's also co-directing the club volleyball team she played for in high school, and is coaching their Elite 18's team. They are both amazingly gifted.

And I have a granddog! His name is Buddy and he loves his mom and dad so.

They live five minutes away so they come to dinner periodically, and we usually go to church together. It is my dream to have my children this close, and I know how blessed we all are.

I could not be more proud of the woman Sutton has become. She works so hard to be accomplished at everything she does, and she succeeds. Sometimes I look at her and marvel that she's not more broken. But she's not. She has a husband that adores her and siblings that want nothing more than to be near her.

And she has me.

We started this journey together 24 years ago. She opened my heart to motherhood and allowed me to love to an extent I never thought possible. We grew each other up. There were times I couldn't bear to look into her eyes and see the fear, the uncertainty of what lie ahead for us. My job was to protect her. I couldn't always do my job.

But look at us now. We made it, Sutton Button. We scratched and clawed our way out and I am still holding your hand; only now you're in the front seat and we can both sing, sing loudly and badly and with great joy. And I won't let go, babe. I will never let go. I will gladly hold your hand forever.

Today is a birthday, I wonder for who...?

2015-01-20T12:48:00.000-06:00

Today is this wonderful man's birthday. I haven't updated everyone on his arrival into our family on the blog yet, but that day is coming. For now, however, I want to honor and celebrate him on his 50th birthday!

I questioned whether the Lord had someone out there for me, someone who could love me (like, love big and hard like I do) and someone who could love my children just as big and just as hard. That's a tall order and no one I knew was capable of one, much less both. I had resigned myself to a lowering of expectations of others, and I knew that I had to commit to going it alone. As crazy as it sounds to many, God had been and had to continue to be my Husband, my Covering, my Provider and Protector, and to that point, He and I had been doing pretty well!

Then this guy showed up. I cannot count how many times I thought and said to others "This is too good to be true." I had never experienced personally anyone who thought the way David did. I had seen it in cheesy movies and heard of such adoration from pastors and their wives from a pulpit. But that was for other people, very fortunate people who had done many "right" things, and that was not me. Hesitantly, I agreed to a date, but I was not hopeful.

Fortunately, I realized very early on that not only was he able to love as big as I do, but he can love even bigger...like, seriously, he puts me to shame! He put in the work necessary to be prepared for us. He was diligent and faithful in that work and he was forced to make many sacrifices to assure that we were all prepared for this life we wanted.

David and I read the Bible and pray together daily. He leads our family with strength and dignity, kindness and grace, power and wisdom, all of the areas we needed so desperately. And at the same time, he's the goofiest "child" I have. We tease him about the fact that he can't pull himself away from Disney shows (Wait! It's almost over!) and he's the one yelling "Ok, five more minutes!" when he and my real kids are throwing footballs, baseballs, or playing volleyball in the street and I'm needing them to come in for dinner.

But the best part, the absolute best part, is that I like him. I like to spend time with him, to travel with him, to walk through valleys with him, to do the daily, mundane, not-so-pretty things with him that just make us look at each other and laugh at how blessed we are.

I wish you the happiest of all birthdays ever, my sweet David. We have so much to look forward to. We got a late start but that just means we get to cram a lot in! I am so excited!!

The time I posted a million photos...

2015-01-19T13:29:00.001-06:00

I've always been a shutter-bug, and the time between my last blog post and now has proved that I still can't help myself when it comes to documenting our lives in photographs. However, mine is probably the slacker-mom way because it forces us to rely on memory to reconstruct the actual happenings in the photos since I didn't write a blasted thing down. But I did take the pictures so I'm going to leave the "'membering" to my children:) So here goes a whole slew of photos in no particular order with a few really poor captions. Go mom!!

Christmas (a few different times)

Reagan's trip to Zambia the summer before her senior year...

Later she got her dream job working for the Texas Rangers!!

Peyton really began believing she was grown:)

Traditional day-before-school-starts breakfast out.

Sutton came home from college for her birthday celebration. Peyton was in complete awe of whose lap she was in and the beautiful candelabra. It makes me wonder just what she was thinking.

One of many trips to the ER with Landon. He's still rough and tumble.

The time of missing teeth began!

Still an Aggie family.

With a little Georgia Bulldog added in for extra fun.

"I mustache you why you're staring?"

Moms and daughters.

And big, tall uncles we hope to be like.

Sisters.

School began for Peyton and so did her love of reading.

And the goofiness she shares with her sisters.

Reagan's senior pictures.

I have no idea.

Sutton got engaged! And there were showers.

And then she got MARRIED!

More school!

Senior year!

Family boot camps.

Graduation!!

His love of baseball continues.

Hayden is growing and changing!

Still loves being a princess.

And sometimes her brother steals her crown.

Summer fun for so many summers.

Landon wasn't our only ER visit.

Family time.

A little rebellion...

And a lot of bonding.

Family is still the best.

Mom, daughter, aunt.

Togetherness:)

I love this crazy group so much!!

Nearly four years ago...

2015-01-14T12:43:00.001-06:00

...was the last time I posted to this blog. I am sure the people who followed us were left wondering what in the world happened. In fact, a great deal happened. My blog, started as a way to document the daily musings, struggles, and celebrations of my sweet family, became a shield for me; a covering, if you will, whereby I hid behind the facade of a perfect family...a perfect life. That was not the case.

But my children have missed this old blog. I hear them referring to it as they discuss the stories and the photos housed here. And while there is still considerable underlying pain for us all as we scroll through the years highlighted here, we feel a great deal of gratitude for the journey.

I'm resurrecting this blog for many reasons, the greatest of which is that my family needs it. We need the reminder that regardless of what has occurred in the past, we are still one of the coolest families we know! We are happy, we are blessed, and we love the fool out of each other. That is worth celebrating, so get ready for some woo-hoo-ing over here!!

SOOOOO glad to be back.

There’s an app for that?

2011-01-26T20:55:00.001-06:00

The Justin Bieber channel is now on my phone.

My phone is usually missing.

But I know where to look.

On love notes and resolutions

2011-01-19T21:11:00.001-06:00

Landon (7) made me a surprise this week and taped it to my laptop. There’s nothing like a sweet reminder such as this to make even the bleakest times bearable.

However, I was almost as excited to receive the New Year’s resolution he wrote in school:

It reads:

“In 2011 in scool I wunt to rit beder and I wunt to lisen to mom beder.”

Translation:

In 2011 in school I want to write better and I want to listen to mom better.

You can do it, buddy!!

Am I glowing?

2011-01-17T22:01:00.001-06:00

While watching all those fancy celebs strut their fancy stuff and look all fancy last night on the Golden Globes, my own “stylists” decided I needed a makeover.

I started out as Peyton (3) and Landon’s (7) project. They seemed to think I was devoid of color and we needed to crank it up a notch.

They succeeded. It looks like I suffer from 3rd degree burns. Who knew bronzer could provide such great coverage?

Hayden (9) soon came to help out. Yep, I needed three stylists.

It was the boys who said I should look like a football player so they began drawing under my eyes; you know, for sun protection and all.

Interesting, yet still unexplained, symbol on my forehead.

I guess to some it may seem they got a little carried away.

Truth us, I really like how it makes my teeth look whiter:)

All I wanted was one decent picture

2011-01-16T09:18:00.001-06:00

Everyone was home, we had a free afternoon, and I just wanted a picture where everyone smiled. I don’t know what I was thinking; I would have had better luck asking them to all stand on their heads.

I know as a mom I should have requested they all act like they were having a terrible time, kind of like this: And I probably would have gotten six smiles and the perfect picture.

Out of the next 500 attempts, this was the best one…only two grumpies and I have no neck.

All smiling but missing the boys.

Clearly, it was nap time,

If you can’t beat ‘em…

And the winner is, a picture taken in the parking lot of Sam’s Club, our home away from home. Ugh.

Every once in a while I really REALLY love my job

2011-01-12T20:30:00.001-06:00

Because I get to take clients to some awesome places. I heart NBA basketball and I love the Dallas Mavericks.

Some guys in my industry.

Dirk, for Sutton and Reagan. He was hurt and couldn’t play.

I also get to go to hockey games and watch the Dallas Stars, but I just can’t bring myself to get excited about that yet…I don’t know a thing in the world about hockey!

Progressive holidays

2011-01-10T21:08:00.001-06:00

Christmas happened a little bit here and a little bit there this year. We went from place to place, home to home, day to day and had a wonderful time at each stop. Fortunately for us, we had family and like-family present everywhere we went so no matter what day it was, we celebrated like it was the greatest day of the year.

My handsome brother, Ryan, and bro-in-law, David, looking joyful:)

Gina and David’s beautiful home.

Sweet baby Dayden and me.

Rea and Deuce bonding. (Love the sweatshirt!)

Me and the girls. (Sutton 21, Reagan 15, and Keaton 13)

Dayden and Daddy…aka Daddy and his mini-me.

The cousin’s variety show.

Sweet friends

Carolers!

Beiber fever.

Just what he wanted.

We were so thankful for a wonderful holiday season.

Grandma

2011-01-09T22:48:00.001-06:00

We lost Grandma, my father’s mother, in December. It was a beautiful funeral in many ways. I’ve always questioned the term “beautiful funeral” until Grandma’s; it couldn’t have been more perfect.

The weather was warm, just the way she liked it. The mass was personal and in every way the tradition she loved. Her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were there. A meal was prepared she would have been very happy with, including many of her special recipes. And we all spoke of her life and her loves: family, travel, cooking, her faith.

My wonderful siblings – Gina, Ryan, me, and Krista

My whole amazing family, including mom and dad.

Most of her grandchildren

Grandma’s children - now

And then, with Grandpa too.

She loved her family:)

December in almost one post

2011-01-09T16:41:00.001-06:00

I felt like all of my online time in December involved online shopping, a.k.a. the great deals hunt of Christmas 2010. So between expanded work duties and Santa obligations, not to mention the plethora of school activities, I got behind on my blogging.

So, in an effort to give my someday-grown children an insight into our holiday busy-ness this year, I’m attempting my own month-at-a-glance.

Everyone “helped.”

Oops!

Rebuilt.

Rea’s mole project.

Keaton’s baby from school. She was amazingly lifelike. She needed feeding, burping, changing and kept Keaton up at night.

We waited until she coo’ed and was happy before handing her to eager “big sister” Peyton who was dying for a turn.

Yeah, it didn’t go well.

Fancy Christmas lunch and Santa.

Peyton’s school program. She was the loudest singer during the weeks of rehearsal, but she couldn’t get a word out at the performance.

Jam packed November

2010-11-27T23:51:00.001-06:00

I promise I’m still around. Unfortunately, I’ve been doing more online shopping/Santa gift hunting than blogging lately. That’s not to say I haven’t been taking pictures; I always take pictures.

So, being the slacker that I am, I’m going to fit as many November activities as I can into this one post because I’m just ~~lazy~~ efficient that way.

Hayden’s school choir presented a Veteran’s Day program and my Mr. Man led the Pledge and sang out mighty and loud in the choir selections.

His choir also performed at a minor-league hockey game. It was our first hockey experience, and while Reagan, Keaton, and I froze to death, the younger three children had a blast.

Hayden soon figured out the how true hockey fans support their team.

Landon had a school buddy there (thank goodness.)

And Peyton pranced around as usual.

Landon’s big first grade Thanksgiving program was last week. I doubt there was a first grader more excited. He rehearsed at home, rehearsed in the car, rehearsed in the store and at the doctor’s office; he was serious about that program.

Landon and crew “sailed” the Mayflower onto the stage.

I venture to say I had the best looking Pilgrim there!

We also attended Family Fun Night again last week. Our church’s single parent ministry is so wonderful and we love going to every activity they put on.

Reagan and pals goofing off.

He’s sooooooo handsome!

Conga line!

Hayden played Chubby Bunny.

Cupid Shuffle is his favorite dance song.

Mwah!

Our dear friends, April and Craig, had their twins, Thomas and Daniel, dedicated last week. Look at this wonderful family:

Beautiful April had all six of those children; you sure can’t tell!

Reagan and her BFF Tori acting up as usual.

But so very pretty.

The party afterward was wonderful as well.

And my three girls posed for pics.

Whew! November has been crazy busy!

Grands and big girls enjoy an afternoon

2010-11-09T20:50:00.001-06:00

It’s rare that the three older girls and I get to spend quality time together now that they’re older. But this weekend all the stars aligned and not only were the four of us girls together but Diney and Big Daddy came too.

Fancy-smancy lunches (AKA: lunches sans small children, chicken nuggets, and a play land) are so enjoyed by the six of us when we’re able to get together. And little shopping trips for a few updated clothing items are always a favorite for the girls.

Our new church home

2010-11-08T09:13:00.001-06:00

You’ve heard me say many times how much we love our church and our very large church family. There is not a single part of our lives not touched positively by Gateway church.

We were thrilled and very honored to be invited on a personal tour of our new campus by the man in charge of building it, Mr.Doug, and the man who is responsible for the new book store there and the kiosks throughout, our dear friend, Mr. Robert.

We were allowed to see parts of the new campus that many of our fellow church-goers won’t be able to see, so we were VERY thankful for the tour. The children’s wing and the classrooms are nothing like I’ve ever seen before, truly amazing. We cannot wait until next weekend when the entire campus opens for our first services. And as much as I wanted to take pictures inside, we waited until our tour was over to snap some candids outside…actually, Hayden grabbed the camera so there are some interesting pics.

Here are all of us outside.

You have not seen children more excited than these kids about their classrooms. After we left and were about to have dinner, I was saying the blessing. As I thanked God for Mr. Robert, Mr. Doug, for our pastor, for Gateway church, as well as all of our other blessings, Peyton (3) who had her head down and eyes closed, interrupted and said, "And thank You for my classroom." So I repeated that in my prayer. Then she said without missing a beat, "And thank You for Hayden's classroom." And I repeated that. Then she said, "And for Bubba Michael's classroom."

Five more days!

My family ROCKS

2010-11-02T18:59:00.001-05:00

My sisters and I had the rare opportunity to visit our parents at the same time…that hardly ever happens. But my mother, who is an amazing and highly-decorated theatre teacher, had tickets to opening night of her latest production so my sisters and all of our children showed up to support her. (I’m hoping the locals have recovered from our invasion by now.)

Look at these women (excluding the blonde chick on the left.) My mother is in red, (I have to point her out because she looks like she’s 40). My little sister, Gina, is in the cream jacket and my baby sister, Krista, is in the black shirt. Do you see the pressure I live with surrounded by these beautiful people? And I’m the oldest, to boot. Dang it all.

Amazingly, these women are not only beautiful, they are also exceptionally smart and talented. But I think the best part about us all is that we have each other’s backs no. matter. what. There’s no girl drama with us, we love hard and we love unconditionally and there are few places we’d rather be than together.

And oh, our babies. We love us some babies.

We’re missing my Sutton who’s 21 and at college, but the rest are:

Reagan (15), Keaton (13), Bailey (13), Hayden (9), Ashlyn (11), Cade (8), Landon (6), Dayden (4), and Peyton (3).

I could eat ‘em up, I tell you, eat ‘em ALL up.

These four boy cousins are seriously outnumbered so they make it a point to hang together. Even in the theatre.

But that was fine because all us girls took up several rows ourselves.With some goofy girls on the end. Of course fren-emies, Peyton and Dayden, had to gush a little. (We were just happy they were getting along!)

We even got to see our dad, aka Poppie, who wasn’t told his picture was being taken,

and our brother Ryan, who knew all too well.

Two of the most handsome men you’ll ever meet, both with hearts of gold.

Weekends like this one are like a shot of adrenaline to me, they help me make it through the weeks/months ahead until we’re together again. I realize that sometimes I need home and I need to be with my “first” family; people who I don’t have to be anything but me with.

Because these people, the ones that know me warts and all, they’ve been there through the muck and the mire of my life. They took my calls, they showed up every time, they lifted my burdens and they carried my dead weight when I couldn’t move an inch more. They were there in spite of it all.

And I’ll love them forever and ever.

Amen.

It doesn’t get much better - Gateway Fall Festival

2010-10-31T20:02:00.001-05:00

While Keaton (13) had to stay home and finish her homework, the rest of us headed to our church’s Fall Festival. Hayden (9) was the Green Goblin from Spiderman, Landon (6) was a Ninja, and Miss Peyton was a sweet little bat/witch.

She was sassy.

Hayden and Pastor Jelani. The kids at church all call him Jelani-pop. He’s one cool guy and they all love him.

“Okay, where’s my candy?”

Reagan (15) volunteered all night.

Jason Witten of the Dallas Cowboys was there:)))

Sassy little bat witch got a little grumpy.

More exciting for us though, was seeing our senior pastor, Pastor Robert and his family. Hayden was unusually tongue-tied.

Rea’s fellow volunteers and good friends.

Mom and Peyton had fun on the train. We love our church.

Pumpkin-carving pals

2010-10-31T10:21:00.001-05:00

We have a lot of really great neighbors we enjoy spending time with. There are days I’ll look up and there will be 11-12 kids in my living room. These kids love to play together and steal snacks from each family’s kitchens.

The other parents and I got our kids together this week to carve their pumpkins all at once; the kids had built-in help and the parents had an excuse to share a glass of wine. Needless to say, there were pumpkin guts everywhere. But these bright kids realize there is patience in larger parental numbers.

Seems we do just about everything at Walmart

2010-10-31T09:57:00.001-05:00

Including Landon (6) losing his first tooth. Sister Keaton (13), the family dentist, pulled this tooth with the same patience and finesse she’s used many times before on other siblings. People in the pharmacy line got into the dental drama as well, congratulating our newest snaggle-tooth family member and giggling at his uncontainable excitement.

Because small reminders can make a big difference

2010-10-15T23:09:00.001-05:00

You know those Halloween stores that pop up this time of year and carry the most horrifying products ever? A trip to one of those has left Hayden (9) struggling greatly with fear; it did a real number on him. He’s okay at home as long as I talk him through his concerns, but he’s very fearful of being anywhere else after dark.

After several days and multiple discussions reminding him how safe he really is, I finally asked him to help me find several Bible verses about fear that he could write on a note card and put under his pillow.

Meanwhile, Landon (6) was jumping on the bed, running from room to room, asking me 138 times who’s picking him up from school tomorrow, why school has to last seven hours “cuz that’s too long,” and wanting to know exactly how many minutes until Christmas.

So we found a scripture on patience and he wrote it down to put under his pillow. Only he decided to tape it above his bed instead.

Of course Peyton (3), who was not going to be left out, wanted a verse too. And she found one. See?

She wrote it herself and taped it above her little bed.

That night Hayden slept like a baby and since then his evenings have been much calmer. Meanwhile, Landon is still working mightily on his patience. I remind myself every few minutes that he’s still a little boy and he’s doing the best he can.

And Peyton, well, she told me later what her note card reads. It says “God loves me” and “Mommy loves me.”

Yep, we do.

Retraction

2010-10-13T21:01:00.001-05:00

Reagan (15): “Okay, I have to admit, what I just said sounded much better in my head.”

Silly Bandz show down

2010-10-12T21:15:00.001-05:00

Landon (6) has some new Silly Bandz and he was determined to stump big sister Keaton (13).

Landon, from the back seat: “Keaton, look at this one, I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it is.”

Keaton, not particularly interested: “It’s a bird.”

Slightly thwarted, yet undeterred: “Okay, but what kind of bird?”

Keaton, even less interested: “It’s a robin.”

Landon laughs maniacally, convinced with this next clever trick, victory is his: “Okay, but can you tell me what this is!”

She barely glances, disgust clear in her tone, “An upside down robin.”

“Oh, man!” he sighs, dejected and totally defeated.