calling to deep ...

Why I love non-Christians

2010-09-06T11:36:00.001-05:00

I love having friends who aren't Christians.

LOVE IT!!!!!

I have several, and they are each of them amazing people who I wouldn't trade for the world.

I was raised in a very sheltered environment. One that was almost like an oxygen tent for health, yet with downfalls. The older I get the more I see both the positives and the negatives of that atmosphere.

Growing up I never had non-Christian friends. This is not because I shut them out but just because ... I didn't know any. My entire environment was Christian. I am so blessed that my heritage provided such a firm and lasting foundation for me in so many areas, and I wouldn't change all that many things about the way I was raised. But this one area didn't provide me with very much of a capacity to relate to anyone who wasn't a Christian. I've had to learn that on my own in my adult life.

I've worked as a foodserver for the last 12 years. Throughout my life in the service industry, I've had the opportunity to meet so many different kinds of people. I've had problems relating to some of them. They've had problems relating to me. I'd step on toes without knowing I was. I'd come across judgmentally without knowing it. (Yes, some of them had the guts to tell me that.) Mostly there was this wary feeling, probably on both sides, like viewing a tiger in a cage. What are they thinking? What's their world like? Are they going to hate me?

Gradually I've learned that people are people. Every one of us is unique, but we are all human. We're made from the same stuff. Belief structure does not a totally different person make. No one is on the "outside," no one is on the "inside." We learn and live and love together in much the same ways. And you know what?

I love people!

I love them for who they are, not for what they believe. I love them for the genuineness of their hearts, not for some "religious correctness" that Jesus Himself didn't believe in. I love them for being real: for being who they are, and letting me--a member of a highly judgmental class--get close enough to see them. They are beautiful!

Beliefs aren't beautiful. Beliefs are facts. Ideas maybe. Foundational to existing, but not the existence itself. I love talking about ideas and beliefs, theology and ideology, theory and supposition. But I also realize more clearly all the time that these are not the sum total of a human life. And humans are beautiful.

I love non-Christians. And I love that a few of them dare to love me back.

(Dedicated to Molly, Rosa, BJ, and Kat. For daring.)

time for a listen

2010-08-20T12:22:00.001-05:00

Ever listen to a love song and hear God singing it? I do!

news

2010-08-19T09:00:00.002-05:00

Hello my dear blogland world.

You all have known of the press in my marriage over the last year and a half. I must now tell you that my husband and I are getting divorced.

I know you all have stood by me and supported me; encouraged me with your words, and warmed my heart with your prayers and kindness. For you, I am saddened and sorry that this event has come about. It may be more of a disappointment to you than to me.

I want to reassure you that I am not crushed. I am not heart-broken. I am not disappointed, disillusioned, or jaded. I actually have more peace and joy now than I have had in a long time. I have laughed and smiled more over the past days than in quite some time. My closest friends say they haven't seen me this happy or at peace for many years.

So even though I know you will be sad for me ... I am not sad for myself. My life will be drastically different than I ever imagined, but I am excited for it. I have been given a new outlook on life, and a reassurance that no matter where I go or what I do, I will be taken care of.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement and support. They have meant so much to me.

In the story of my life I have one Lover who can truly give me "forever."
And that story continues to be written ...

Tidbite to the tidbit

2010-07-16T05:00:00.001-05:00

After posting what I did on Thursday I got to thinking about the "drunk" thing. I wondered, if it was a translator thing rather than a language thing; if the New Testament would have the same oddities.

Imagine my surprise ... it did.

Before I get into the New Testament, I want to expound a bit more on the Old Testament, and what I said yesterday. I think it's good to be clear on the fact that some words are particularly difficult to translate accurately, especially from Hebrew, because the concepts of those words are so incredibly different from English. It seems sometimes like Hebrew words need phrases, sentences, or even paragraphs to come close at depicting the original intention. However, that being said ... neither the Hebrew word used in the Old Testament for "drunk" nor the Greek word used in the New Testament for "drunk" are this way. Both are quite simple and straightforward.

Also, there is also only one word in each language for drunkenness. Many times (as you may remember from my post about seasons, and the three different words translated "time" in each language) there may be more than one word that is translated into the same word in English. Again, the same cannot be said of these words. There is only one word in each language, and they both mean only one thing: drunk, as in to be intoxicated with alcohol. "To drink," referring to any liquid, is a completely different word.

There are four basic variations of the Hebrew root "שכר", depending on what part of speech the root is occupying--noun (2), verb, or adjective--and all directly relate to being drunk. The root, in one of these four forms shows up 58 times in the Old Testament. Out of these 58 times there are 3 verses which are translated something other thank "drunk." (I know I said in the original tidbit post that there were two; well, I found one more.)

[Now as a side study note: I am a fairly exhaustive studier, but there is a limit. I did not search for all 58 references in all 12+ translations that I mentioned earlier. I would certainly be curious about the outcome, but that is more effort than I have at present. I did search this in NASB, KJV, and ESV, those three being the most espoused as accurate translations.]

All of this means that these 3 instances are significant, because there is literally no reason in the language itself to translate this word something other than "drunk." I am inclined to suppose, then that the reason lay not a sincere effort at accurate translation, but rather an agenda that didn't allow for certain thoughts to be conveyed. I have to say that this is the first time in my personal study that I have seen something this pronounced. Something that I would feel confident in going out on a limb on and saying was a deliberate mistranslation.

The first two references I mentioned in my previous post: Genesis 43:34, when Joseph and his brothers got drunk together, and Song of Solomon 5:1, when the bridegroom is directed to get drunk on the love of his wife. The third is Haggai 1:6.

“You have sown much, and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes." [ESV]

This verse is talking about the constant striving of man which feels like it is only after wind. No return on the investment, so to speak. So what is the little phrase cleverly altered here? "You drink, but you never have your fill." And yes, indeed, the Scripture here actually says, "you drink, but don't get drunk." Incidentally, there are two of the 12 BLB translations which do translate this as drunk. NASB (you drink, but not enough to become drunk) and Young's Literal Translation (to drink, and not to drunkenness).

So now on to the New Testament.

As previously mentioned, there is only one word in Greek for the idea of being intoxicated, and only one essential translation of the word. Again, there are variations on the root, based on parts of speech, but the meaning remains the same.

The base root is μέθη: methē, meaning intoxication or drunkenness. There are 15 times this root is used in the New Testament, and 14 of them are translated plainly as "drunk." The 1 time it is not is in John 2:10.

9When the headwaiter tasted the water which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom, and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now." [NASB]

Did you guess? Yep, the phrase is "when the people have drunk freely." I don't know Greek, so I can't personally translate this, but according to the inherent meaning of the root, this phrase would read more like "when the people are drunk." Meaning, among other things, that the everyone was already drunk when Jesus performed his first miracle.

Do you suspect that the general Christian stigma of not drinking alcohol is one of the sacred cows I'd like to topple? Well, you'd be right. :) Although I don't think I'm on the warpath. But the more I read of Scripture, and the more I study in the original language the more I am convinced that conservative Christianity pulled that one out of it's collective behind.

Any thoughts? Any prickles?

Sacred Cows

2010-07-15T12:00:00.001-05:00

... I who am meek when face to face with you, but bold toward you when absent!
--Paul
2 Cor 10:1

I must admit, there's a lot about Paul that makes him a very different creature than myself. Some time ago however, when I read this one verse, I thought, Paul was just like me.

I'm much more forthright in my writing than I ever am in person. My fingers can talk much more freely than my mouth can, and somehow a written medium bypasses certain things I cannot bypass any other way. Or ... at least things that I haven't learned how to moderate yet. Consequently, if I get a little 'in your face' in my writing, or perhaps a bit too blunt in my delivery, it's not because I intend to injure you, but rather ... writing gives me a sort-of platform to express the things I feel very passionately about. So through my writing, you all get to see a bit more of the 'passionate' Annie than someone would who only knows me in person.

That being said, I'll just be honest: I have no reverence for sacred cows. "Let sleeping dogs lie" is generally not a maxim I adhere to, and certainly not one I have ever liked. I heard a saying once that said, "The Irish like to rock the boat." Perhaps it's a bit of that, too. At any rate, I see myself as an intellectual explorer. I love breaking through the bonds of 'normal' and discovering what lies in the unknown. The intellectual unknown doesn't scare me at all. In fact, I enjoy it. Questions that seem to make some people very nervous, I pursue with relish.

Someone asked me once if I had ever had a time when I seriously questioned my faith. My response was to say that I question it all the time, and because of that I've never had a 'moment' when I doubted it all. My life is a constant question, ponder, and answer session in my own head. I continuously tackle and re-tackle questions that range from extremely mundane to extremely preponderant virtually all the time. Unless I'm thoroughly convinced of something, you can bet I'm probably analyzing it from all sides. Even if I am thoroughly convinced, I'm probably still analyzing it from all sides.

Sacred cows are thoughts that we accept as truth which in fact have no substance of truth to them at all. They are empty images of things that give us reassurance that we're on a rock--never mind if we really are or not. Golden though they may be, their exalted appearance can offer us nothing. They are an object of our own making--a thought from the grave that we dress up and say lives.

Are all sacred cows worth of toppling? Well, to me yes. :) I have a relish for hurling them to the ground. That being said, however, I know there is a method and a timing to everything, and I will strive to do my best to topple them as tenderly and tactfully as I can, as the Hold Spirit leads. I give you fair warning, however--I'm a warrior at heart, not a diplomat. The fire can rise up in my bones fairly easily.

So ... this may be a season of some passionate toppling of sacred cows. I can't say for sure yet, as I take each day at a time. And I only know what's in my heart, not the Lord's. But just so you know ...

... you've been fairly warned. :)

Tidbits from Hebrew

2010-07-14T15:44:00.004-05:00

So many things are rumbling around in my heart today. So many things I could talk about ...

abuse and violence of the heart
Genesis and the story of Joseph
Genesis and the fall of man
and some other things that I can't place my finger on now

In reading that list, I may sound in a negative frame of mind. But I'm not! Really, I'm not. Melancholy. Emotional perhaps. But not angry in any way. I'm listening to my melodic Pandora station. :)

How about Joseph.

Genesis 43:34 is a very interesting verse.

In the NAS it reads:

He took portions to them from his own table, but Benjamin's portion was five times as much as any of theirs. So they feasted and drank freely with him.

It seems obvious, doesn't it? But in fact, the end is translated incorrectly in this version, and in every version available on blueletterbible.org (a frequent reference site for me).

In Hebrew, this verse reads something like, "And he lifted portions (liftings up) from [before] his face to them, and much was the portion of Benjamin from the portions of all of them: five hands. And they drank and they got drunk with him."

That's really what it says! These words aren't ambiguous either. Rather plain. To drink. To get drunk.

Does it make you wonder? It makes me wonder. It makes me wonder if the gentile translators of the Bible had an agenda (Jewish translations translate this correctly; Judaism itself doesn't have any of the stigmas Christianity has concerning drinking). It makes me wonder how this plays in metaphorically, since many people view Joseph and the details of his life as a foreshadowing of the Messiah. It also makes me wonder what happened in that room that evening. :) The possibilities there are endless.

As a point of note: the word for "drunk" used there is in fact translated as "drunk" in every other usage in the Bible--Noah, Hannah, Uriah the Hittite, and many prophetic passages--with the exception of one other. Song of Solomon 5:1:

I am come into my garden, my sister, [my] spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. [KJV]

"Drink abundantly" is this same word. There are only two versions (out of the 12 English versions available on BLB) who translate this other than "drink abundantly." NAS translates it "imbibe deeply" and ESV translates it, "be drunk."

So what do you think? When was the last time you got drunk?

Hebrew

2010-07-09T05:00:00.003-05:00

[Author's Edit: Many THANKS to all of you who have responded! I didn't expect such a unanimous response. :) I appreciate your feedback!]

ATTENTION
This post is a poll. If you are reading these words,I am interested in what you think.

Visitors to my blog generally fall into one of two catagories, according to all of the info I can gather. One category is those of you who know me or have come to know me through various means. The other is those of you who have found my page while looking for information on the Hebrew language.

To be honest, I had no idea that so many people were looking for some of the information I've posted on Biblical Hebrew, and I am still surprised at how many visitors I get just with the minimal information I have given. From attempting to look up information on Hebrew online, I know that online research of the Hebrew language is a very difficult thing to do at times, given that one has to look up transliterated approximations of the word or sound that is being studied. I also am seeing quite clearly that there is a desire, from many people all around the world, to understand the original languages of the Bible. To those of you who are reading because of your interest in Biblical Hebrew, know that I do still study Hebrew, and post from time to time on it still.

My question is this: would it be preferable to you for me to separate my inspirational blog posts from my Hebrew blog posts (which would entail having two separate blog sites), or do you prefer having them all together? I'll post a poll in my sidebar to this effect, so you can either comment here, or poll there. If you do both (poll and comment) please let me know so I have a more accurate judge of those who respond.

Thank you for your readership!

The moral of the story

2010-07-08T05:00:00.004-05:00

It has been some time since I blogged at all, but the last time I did was a piece titled "I cried for the roses." At the time that that occurred in my life, there were several blogs that went up from other people that seemed to tie in with what I was experiencing. One of them was Ric Booth's blog post. I commented on his post and ... well, I have to admit, I shamelessly pulled my comment there for a post here. I have had it saved all this while, and in reading it today realized how apropo it is for my life right now. In my comment I was remarking as to the similarity between my post, his, and others ...

… Alece’s newest post, Faith in the key of Plan B, is also very near [mine] in thought.
That is …
That God’s perfect plan seems to not actually be what we think it should be. We have this “everything’s perfect” presumption of what His perfect plan should be … but is it? We think if something goes wrong, that we’re working with Plan B. You know what I mean? And your post here highlights the fact that Jesus specifically informed Peter that His perfect plan was that Peter go through quite a bit of ‘ugly.’
And sometimes that’s really hard to wrap our minds around.
Let me rephrase.
That may very well be the MOST difficult thing for any human to wrap their mind around–that God’s perfect plan actually involves a great deal of pain and suffering.
That’s so hard to reconcile with the “everything’s perfect” idea–the idea based around the very limiting thought that a loving God would never ask us to go through anything difficult or trying or painful–even heart-breaking.
So my post was God showing me that He knew that His perfect plan involved breaking my heart … and it made Him weep with agony that it did. And in the midst of that too–He didn’t pass off all the pain and heartache as “not His fault” … “passing the buck,” so-to-speak. He could have said, “Wasn’t me. Devil did it.” I mean, that’s what we think, right? But He didn’t. He said, “I allowed it. I did it.” He acknowledges that His own hand allows pain in our lives, and to that end He assumes responsibility … to the point where He even says, “I did this to you.”
In a way, it makes it easier for us to trust Him, right? If we trust His character, then even if He allows something truly ugly in our lives, we know that He is still in control, and ultimately it will conclude “all for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”
Do you know … something that happened that I didn’t mention in that post …
A few days after the incident (in fact, when I realized that He was weeping for what He caused in my life), I heard Him ask me, “Will you forgive Me?”
wow.
I cried. “God, I don’t know how to do that! You do all things well.”
And even now, it’s hard to wrap my mind around the concept of God asking me to forgive Him. But in the end all of our trials and tribulations, struggles and heartaches come down to just two people: us and Him. Everything is a relationship. In the end it is just Him and us.
So many people secretly hold intense levels of anger in their hearts toward God. They know that He could have dealt them differently. But He didn’t. And they cannot forgive Him for the life they did get.
I think He knows this. I think He knows that in the end everything comes down to a reckoning between Him and us. And in our heart of hearts we know that His choice was always involved. So will we hold it against Him? Or will we forgive Him? Will there be a gigantic something standing in between us, or will we truly live face to face–hiding nothing, fearing nothing, holding nothing back.
It is the question of the ages.

Are there any new revelations of God in your life?
Are there any new pains?

Spring

2010-07-07T09:24:00.004-05:00

This is me right now.

A tiny green shoot, just poking up from the earth.

What does this mean?

My spring is here!!

I can hardly describe the feeling. It feels like spring, but in my soul. Like the air is fresh and warm, the breezes doing gentle dances around me. It feels like I can go outside without a coat, and perhaps begin to walk barefoot again. It feels like spring.

Some of you will remember my Seasons series. That was the beginning of my fall. Winter came six months later. That was a year ago. A year-long winter. My goodness, it has been so long.

I've missed all of you. Missed the conversations over blogs; learning together and experiencing life together. I know that I had to hibernate for awhile and just stay where I was. I have been waiting for some kind of release--I have been waiting for my spring.

Well it seems that at long last it's finally here. Praise the Lord! I wish I could tell you all about my fall and winter--and perhaps in the future I will be able to--but it is just as possible that some things will need to stay buried in the earth. I'm excited to see what new growth will spring forth in this season, and I hope to be able to share it with you all.

Many thanks to all you old-timers and newcomers (whoever you may be) for sticking with me on this journey. I'm excited for this season.

Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along. For behold, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers have already appeared in the land; the time has arrived for pruning the vines, and the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land.
Song of Solomon 2:10-12

I cried for the roses

2010-03-30T16:15:00.005-05:00

I stood by the side of the road, cars rushing past me, ripping my roses to pieces.

The roses were reminding me of a pain so deep and searing that it felt as though the roses themselves were hurting me. I had to get rid of them, but throwing them out was too easy. Tossing them out the window of my car too flippant. I had to do justice to what I felt.

So in the dark, on the side of the highway, I ripped every single one of them to pieces.

And it felt like I was ripping my own heart in pieces.

I cried harder than I can ever recall crying in my life. Even saying "cry" doesn't do it justice. I sobbed. I wailed. I felt such grief and anguish and loss and pain. It felt like a white-hot knife was carving a path straight through my heart.

Their petals were so soft in my fingers. So beautiful. So delicate. And I dealt with them harshly, twisting them from their stems, tearing them into tiny pieces, trampling them into the ground.

The raspberries were next. It was so hard to bring myself to do it because I LOVE raspberries so much. I dumped them out on the ground, and trampled them into the gravel. So soft. So yummy. And I ground them into the dirt.

I cried like my heart would break. And the only thing I could say to them was, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." How could I apologize for pain I had inflicted? My fingers ripped their innocence to shreds, even as my lips apologized for doing it.

The road was lit up in my headlights. I saw the strewn petals and red raspberries laying there, and I couldn't drive away. "How can I move on?" I cried to my friend. "They're so beautiful and they're so trampled. I see them in my headlights and they're red all over the road and it looks like something died. How can I just leave them there without saying goodbye?"

Still crying, chest heaving, exhausted, I got out of my car and went to bury them.

"I'm so sorry." I cried over them. "You didn't do anything to deserve being trampled. You did a good job. You were beautiful and soft and yummy. You didn't do anything to deserve this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I collected all the petals and berries I could, and piled them up, gradually heaping gravel over them; told them they did a good job, and said goodbye.

I can't even describe to you what this was like for me. The pain, the retribution, the validation, the justice, the infliction. So many emotions colliding so forcefully inside of me.

Why do I share this with you? Well ... because I learned something incredibly deep about God that night. As I knelt and scooped up the trampled remains, I heard my own words as I spoke them. I heard them said to me. I heard them validate me. I heard my Father say to me what I said to my roses. "You didn't do anything to deserve being trampled. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I heard His heart break. I heard His soul cry. I saw Him view me as those roses and raspberries, so soft and delicate, and weep for the trampling of my soul.

And I cried for my own pain, even as I cried for the roses.

In the days to come, I saw something even more. God was there in that moment, demonstrating to me through my own actions what He went (and goes) through for the trampling of my soul. I realized ... part of what hurt me so much was knowing that my own hands were inflicting the pain. I was the one tearing them apart and trampling them. And just that hurt SO bad. I realized that this was exactly how God feels.

God doesn't devise evil. We know this. But we also know He allows it. Therefore in the infinite wisdom of God pain is a part of His perfect plan. So He allows it. But even as He allows what He would never devise, He takes upon Himself the full responsibility for the action. That is, in His mind He is the one hurting us.

And that pain that He feels is what I got the smallest glimpse of ...

... as I cried for the roses.

"Come, let us return to the LORD. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us."
Hosea 6:1

for Christians who love Israel

2010-03-09T22:14:00.003-06:00

I subscribe to Israel Today (there's also a link in my sidebar), and an article they had today encouraged me a great deal.

Headline News

Tuesday, March 09, 2010 Israel Today Staff

Netanyahu encourages Christian Zionists to stay the course

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Monday addressed a Christians United for Israel (CUFI) summit in Jerusalem and encouraged Christian Zionists around the world to stay the course in their defense of the Jewish state.
Netanyahu reiterated the amazing turn of events that the presence of Israel-loving Christians in the Jewish state represents after centuries of Christian persecution of Jewish minorities.
"Your presence here today represents a profound transformation in the relationship between Christians and Jews," said the prime minister. "This transformation has its roots in the 19th century when the early Christian Zionists came to the Land Israel and when they began exploring the land of the Bible, when they began to yearn for the Jewish restoration in this land, the restoration of our numbers, the restoration of our sovereignty."
Netanyahu noted the Christian Zionism actually preceded modern Jewish Zionism, and acted as a stepping stone for the reestablishment of Israeli sovereignty. In the same spirit as those 19th century Christian Zionists, Netanyahu said leaders like CUFI Director John Hagee are continuing to hold Israel aloft in both prayer and advocacy.
"Time after time, through thick and thin, you have stood shoulder to shoulder with our state, and I have come here tonight to thank you for your unwavering friendship," said Netanyahu. "I salute you, the people of Israel salute you, the Jewish people salute you."
The summit was attended by 1,000 Christian delegates and led by Hagee, who took the opportunity to reaffirm his support and the support of tens of millions of American Christians for Israel.

Christians United for Israel is the same group I participated with a year and a half ago in a summit at Washington D.C. I am so proud to be called a Christian Zionist.

Tidbits from Hebrew

2010-02-27T22:11:00.005-06:00

Yes, I do intend to post more whenever God releases me, but for now Tidbits seems to be what I can handle.

As you may remember we're translating the story of Joseph in Hebrew class. We've arrived at the big moment.

Pharaoh has had two dreams in the same night. Thin cows and ears of grain eating fat ones. He is distressed in his spirit, and calls on all the magicians of Egypt to interpret his dream for him. But none can.

Finally the chief cup-bearer, who, two years earlier, had had his dream and the dream of the chief baker correctly interpreted by Joseph, hazards his own neck and tells Pharaoh of the existence of this Joseph. Pharaoh immediately summons him, and he is rushed from the jail.

There's a lot of symmetry in this moment--the jail is referred to as a 'pit': the same word for the cistern his brothers threw him in 13 years earlier; he is shaved: a new identity, as Hebrews did not shave themselves; his garments are changed: echoing the garment his father dressed him in that led to this moment, the coats standing as parenthesis around his captivity--but I want to point out one thing that jutted out to me.

He is brought before Pharaoh, and Pharaoh says (determining whether to translate in Hebrew grammar form; I think I will), "A dream I dreamed, and an interpretation there is not for it. And I have heard of you, saying you hear a dream to interpret it." (The end phrase means, in common vernacular, "if you hear a dream at all, you know its interpretation.")

Joseph answered him saying, "No! It is not of me! God will answer the peace of Pharaoh."

(Now, I couldn't find a single translation that translated it this particular way. So ... there is a possibility that there's something grammatical here that I'm missing. But this phrase is fairly plain in Hebrew, and follows the same "peace of " patterns that I find in other passages. )

This word 'peace' is shalom. It means wholeness, completeness; nothing missing, nothing broken. It refers to a total well-being of soul, mind, body, family, and possessions. It literally includes everything that concerns you, starting from the inside out. This is why English has predominantly translated the word as 'peace'--a word referring to inner, emotional well-being--although it means much, much more than that.

What I find interesting about this statement is ... Joseph knew this was his big moment. Two years earlier he had asked the cup-bearer to purposefully bring this moment about. He had asked him to appeal to Pharaoh because of the dream he had interpreted. He knew in this land of Dream Books and magicians, hired only to interpret dreams, that what God had given him could appeal to the highest office of the land. He had a sense of purpose as well. He had always risen to greatness wherever it had presented itself. He was buoyed by destiny, in a sense. He had a calling. He'd had dreams of his own that he knew had yet to be fulfilled.

And now, in this moment, he stands before Pharaoh, being asked to interpret his dreams. It is the moment of his life. And what does he do?

See, I had always had the impression that Joseph's answer related to the dreams alone. Something like, "I cannot interpret your dreams but God can." But ... is that really what he said? At least initially?

Because I see that the very first thing out of his mouth to Pharaoh was, "God cares about the wholeness of you."

I find this amazing. Joseph reached out to him as though he were not Pharaoh, but a man--as another human soul in need of reassurance that God is big enough. It seems a bold move; a compassionate move. Joseph, even in his big moment, didn't lose sight of the importance of this one man's soul.

Answering the dream came second. Answering his soul came first.

It is finished

2010-02-14T20:37:00.005-06:00

I first posted this last year, and in re-reading it, I thought it a good one to re-share. It moved me to tears again as I pondered the LOVE He displayed for me. This is the reason I say ... no one can love me like He loves me. Be blessed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I just heard a random snippet on the radio that got me thinking.

He said that in Roman custom, when a debt was fully paid, a certificate was given - sort of like a receipt - that was stamped on it in Latin, "It is finished." Meaning the full debt had been paid.

It got me thinking about that moment, and what it was Jesus was saying.

Did it ever occur to you that Jesus said "It is finished" before He died?

You know, because we always think of His death as being the 'big thing.' When we talk about 'what Jesus did for us' we usually only mention His death. Or ... at least, it's definitely what we talk about the most.

Now, His death in our place was (is) huge. But ... He didn't say "it is finished" after He died. Or even after He rose from the grave. Which He could have. He said it before He died.

That really made me look at things much differently. It made me see how important the events were that took place before He died.

He was accused.
He was betrayed.
He was scorned.
He was abandoned.
He was abused.
He was whipped.
He was insulted.
He was assaulted.
He was tortured.
He was mocked.
He was misunderstood.
He was treated with insensitivity and cruelty by those who just one week prior were shouting His praises.

He carried our sorrows. He bore our sicknesses. The chastisement that brought us peace was upon Him.

Everything I carry, He carried.

So when He said, "It is finished," He meant (among many other things) that what was necessary to carry my pain ... was finished. He bore it.

And those lashes and blood - that's all of the pain of my soul made visible on His body. He carried it. He bore my pain.

My beautiful Lover. This ... is the Lover of my soul.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tidbits from Hebrew

2010-02-11T10:46:00.007-06:00

In Hebrew class, we are translating the story of Joseph. In chapter 40 we read (in the English):

vs 5,6
Then the cupbearer and the baker for the king of Egypt, who were confined in jail, both had a dream the same night, each man with his {own} dream {and} each dream with its {own} interpretation. When Joseph came to them in the morning and observed them, behold, they were dejected.

When translating we have to look up the Hebrew words in the BDB (a Hebrew lexicon), and find the meaning of that word. When we got to the end of vs. 6, the word translated here as 'dejected' is za'aph. Za'aph is only used four times in the Bible, and the strict definition of this word is "to rage." It is used in this way in 2 Chronicles 26:19:

But Uzziah, with a censer in his hand for burning incense, was enraged; and while he was enraged with the priests, the leprosy broke out on his forehead before the priests in the house of the LORD, beside the altar of incense.

Also in Proverbs 19:3

The foolishness of man ruins his way, And his heart rages against the LORD.

It got me wondering if "dejected" actually was a proper translation in this passage. Other translations use similar words: sad, troubled, tristes. (Put that in there for you, Angie.) Most lexicons just say that there are two understandings of this word.

But I thought, "What if there's not? What if the writer of this passage actually meant 'enraged.'" I began to ponder what would have made these two men so enraged. A dream?

I googled "the importance of dreams in ancient Egypt" and found several eye-opening articles.

Dreams were considered to be divine predictions of the future. They were messages from the gods that could be foretelling of impending disasters or, conversely, of good fortune; therefore, understanding the significance of one’s dreams was an important part of the culture. Dream Books were kept throughout the ages, and these writings give us a glimpse into the thoughts and concerns of the common people of ancient Egypt.

In order to understand a dream Egyptians consulted a "specialist", who could have been a priest or a professional dream interpreter, as indicated by a tablet which reads "I interpret dreams, having the gods’ mandate to do so". Certain members of the elite class could also look up dreams in a dream book to help with interpretation; these included the scribes of Deir el-Medina. New Kingdom texts from Deir el-Medina refer to an advisor called "the wise woman", who could be consulted in addition to or instead of an oracle.

Kenhirkhopeshef’s papyrus is divided into the two categories of "good" and "bad", with the word "bad" always written in red ink. The belief that the gods were not only judging the people’s behavior but also seeing right into their hearts could cause quite a scare for villagers who would awaken after a particularly disturbing dream. But not to fear: the Dream Book contained a special spell that the dreamer could recite while eating fresh bread and green herbs moistened with beer.

from Egypt: Perchance to Dream: Dreams and Their Meaning in Ancient Egypt

So here's what I see happening.

These two men used to be in Pharaoh's court. They used to have access to temples and Dream Books, oracles and specialists, who could interpret their dreams for them. They believed that dreams always were sent by the gods. These dreams they dreamed happened on the very night that they were thrown into jail. In other words, just as soon as every possibility for interpreting their dreams was taken away, then the gods decided to talk to them. And these weren't just any dreams! These two men from the same place, jailed for similar reasons, on the same night dreamed dreams which were almost identical. If ever there was a moment in their lives when the gods were definitely talking to them ... it was now.

And they had no means of interpreting what was being said!

I think that would be enough to make them enraged.

Does this idea hold out with Scripture? Well, in the following verse we read:

[Joseph] asked Pharaoh's officials who were with him in confinement in his master's house, "Why are your faces so sad today?"

This word 'sad' is again mistranslated. It is the word ra'. It comes from the root ra'a meaning "evil." It is actually the same word used in Genesis referring to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So ... I think 'sad' is a lamentable translation, and not very accurate.

Yet another consideration which backs up this thought is the very extreme way Pharaoh reacted to his two dreams later on; both the urgency he displayed in needing an interpretation and the high honor he showed to the one who was able to interpret it for him. All of this substantiates the idea that the original words used were what the author meant ... these men were decidedly enraged regarding the dreams they had had.

No deep philosophical point, just ... interesting. :) Hope you found it so!

Tibits from Hebrew

2010-02-03T22:46:00.005-06:00

In Hebrew class, we are translating through the story of Joseph. Today we translated Genesis 40:20 which reads:

Thus it came about on the third day, {which was} Pharaoh's birthday, that he made a feast for all his servants; and he lifted up the head of the chief cupbearer and the head of the chief baker among his servants.

Now the word I would like to focus on here is, surprisingly, "feast." This translation (NAS) which is usually quite good at a reasonable translation of Scripture, in fact does this word an injustice. Others translate it a bit more accurately as "banquet" but even that falls short at conveying the idea behind this Hebrew word.

In English a "feast" means what? What do you picture? If you're anything like me, you picture a huge table filled with food--meats, breads, etc., right? "Feast" seems to imply food to eat. But this word is not talking about eating at all.

The Hebrew word here is "mishteh" and to explain what it means, I'll take you on a short journey.

All nouns in Hebrew are built off of verbs. Therefore things (nouns) are understood by the action (verb) associated with it. To briefly depict this, take a pencil. If someone asked you to describe a pencil, you might say that it's about six inches long, yellow, and has an lead on one end and an eraser on the other end. This is a description of what it looks like. A Hebrew of Bible times would rather describe it as something you hold in your hand and write with. They would describe it by it's action. This idea makes its way into the language, where nouns are always built off of verb roots.

Now, in Hebrew, one way that verbs are made into nouns is by simply adding an "m" sound on the front of the word. For instance one Hebrew word a lot of people are familiar with is mitzvah, as in a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Mitzvah means "commandment." It comes from the root tzavah meaning "to command." Do you see how the "m" sound in front changed the root from a verb to a noun?

Our word in Genesis is mishteh. This word uses the same format as mitzvah--it is a verb root preceded by the 'm' sound. So what is the verb root? The root here is shatah meaning "to drink." Therefore in the Hebrew mind, this kind of a banquet is a place of drinking.

I can hear American minds start to buzz. Drinking? Drinking, like, alcohol? Well, the word shatah equates fairly well to our word 'drink,' which is equally applicable regardless of what you're drinking. However, in Scripture mishteh does seem to refer exclusively to a place of drinking wine.

Now, I fully realize that a good portion of the American church believes that all alcohol consumption is sin. I am not of this mind. I don't, however, intend this one post to go into all of the reasons I see in Scripture on the subject, but rather to point out this one word and one very important application.

The Old Testament uses this word mishteh many times, referring specifically to a gathering where wine is drunk. In the New Testament, Jesus presented the idea of a very important application of this idea:

Matt 22
Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying, "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son ..."

Could this wedding feast also be a mishteh? I very strongly suspect it. Jesus was a Jew, raised on the Scriptures, and he spoke to a Jewish audience. Early on in His ministry he attended a wedding feast which featured wine as a key element. Did He anticipate then that His audience would understand that this feast He spoke of also included wine as a key element? I definitely think so.

If this is the case, then what is the wine which will be present at the wedding supper of the Lamb? I believe this to be a direct reference to the Holy Spirit, whose work in the lives of men is not only paralleled to wine many times, but also seems to produce a very similar effect to that of wine.

I see then, in this one word mishteh, the promise that at the wedding supper of the Lamb the wine of the Holy Spirit will be poured out for all who are there. It will be a day of great drinking and dancing and rejoicing.

Psalm 23:5
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.

the Reply

2010-02-02T05:00:00.000-06:00

At church on Sunday a four year-old revealed to me that he was being beaten at home. My heart broke.

"I want to tell you something. When you're here, no one will beat you."

"Who will??" His eyes riveted on me, wide and fearful.

"No one will. I won't. The teachers won't. The kids won't. No one will beat you. You're safe here. We love you."

"I want to stay here! I want to stay here!"

Reflections

2010-02-01T05:00:00.006-06:00

In my post yesterday, I related a piece of a conversation I had with a four-year old boy in my class in Sunday School.

Can I just ask? WHY?? Why does abuse happen right under our noses? Why does it pass invisibly by? Abused people learn rather quickly to hide their real selves deep inside. Surface clues are rare--sometimes dismissed, often ignored, many times misinterpreted ... and never more than by the abused themselves.

I want to have my eyes open. Wide, wide open.

It is said that the divorce rate in the church meets or exceeds that in the secular world. I have heard this decried for many years. How pathetic is it that Christians don't have any more secrets than the world without Christ as to how to make relationships healthy?

In my own journey, I have found what I believe to be one gigantic key into what is apparently a profound mystery--why Christians marriages fail at the same rate as the world--and that is ABUSE.

I would like to delve into writing on this subject, and am only waiting on the Holy Spirit to lead the timing and the words. I will lead off with this thought however: abuse is not behavior, although behavior is associated with it. Abuse is not hitting, although hitting can be associated with it. Abuse is not yelling, although yelling can be associated with it. Abuse is not name calling. Although name calling may be associated with it. ABUSE IS A SPIRIT. Because he is a spirit, he cannot be fought with flesh and blood. He cannot be reasoned with with the mind, or 'talked through' with good communication. He can only be fought in the spirit. I don't know if "Abuse" is actually his name, because this term doesn't appear in the Bible. I am still seeking God as to what title he goes by in Scripture. More on that at a later time.

For most of my life I had this idea that abuse was something 'those' people dealt with. You know, the Jerry Springer types. Abuse was outside, in other words. I was inside. It was a realm that didn't touch me. Now ... my eyes are being opened. Abuse is everywhere. And--what was perhaps the most sobering--abuse is right smack dab in the middle of the church ... and no one seems to know. In the past I knew this beast existed. But I had no idea what he looked like, and how far his principality extended. Even now, I'm sure I am only seeing in part.

The 2005 census reported that 38% of marriages in the US end in divorce every year. That's one out of three. Does that mean the other 62% have healthy, thriving marriages? Of course not. I suspect at least another third deal with major dysfunction in the relationship, and are holding on to their marriage for reasons of principle, rather than health. Does abuse exist in all of these relationships? I don't know. I would guess, however, that some form of abuse exists in most of them. I believe that abuse is the #1 contributor to dysfunction in relationships. I will also say this: most of those relationships have little to no idea that they are dealing with abuse. It really is that insidious. So what percentage of marriages in our country and our churches actually experience a Christ/church type relationship? Very, very few.

This beast is killing us. Slowly suffocating us, choking off the life that we profess. We are half-dead. Like frogs in boiling water, death creeps on us so slowly that we are never jolted out of our stupor.

Those who are alive must choose life.

Those who are dead do not believe they have a choice.

CHOOSE LIFE, that you may live.

Windows

2010-01-31T14:00:00.007-06:00

"Do you know Jesus loves you?"

"NO."

"Why do you think Jesus doesn't love you?"

"Because he beat me yesterday."

The above was a piece of conversation I had today with a four-year-old in my Sunday school class. Whether he thought I said his father, or whether he sees them as one and the same thing at this age, I don't know. I thought it profound though, both for him and for many of us. How we are treated by those who come in His name clearly affects our impressions of Him. The slight muddling of communication here opened up a window into his soul that I would not have seen otherwise.

Would God really ...

2010-01-20T18:26:00.004-06:00

Have you ever really considered what actually happened on Mt. Moriah?

I mean, really.

We hear this story over and over and over and over ... and we kind of accept it without really processing. Kind of like, 'Oh yeah, the whole earth was covered with water. Yeah that happened.' But when we consider the tallest mountain and think that that was underwater ... well, that's a little different.

There are three events which set the faith of Abraham apart, and which, from God's perspective, qualified him to be the father of our faith (as it says many times in the New Testament). One is his willingness to leave his family and follow the voice of God to a distant country. The second is believing the promise of God for seed that would number as the stars of the heavens. The third is the offering up of his son on Mt. Moriah.

Hebrews tells us:

Hebrews 11:17-19
By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten {son;} {it was he} to whom it was said, "IN ISAAC YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL BE CALLED." He considered that God is able to raise {people} even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.

We know the story. We've seen the pictures. We know the end, so we don't question the beginning.

But let's think about it.

Let's say someone in your church approached you and said, "I hear God asking me to kill my son."

I think 99% of the Christians I know would say, "God wouldn't say that. You're not hearing God. That is the devil trying to deceive you."

WATCH OUT CHURCH.

Abraham heard just this instruction from God. And His obedience to what he heard qualified him to be the father of faith for the multitudes who would come from him and cut covenant with God through faith.

Offer up your son to Me.

Hang on, do you mean God is asking you to participate in child sacrifice?? That's pagan! God does not do that!!

Umm. My Bible says He did.

"Well yeah," we say, "but God didn't actually want Isaac to die. He was just testing Abraham."

Abraham didn't know that.

Abraham was not calling God's bluff up there on that mountain. If God hadn't stepped in right at that moment, Abraham would have killed his son. How do I know this? It wouldn't have been faith if he didn't.

Hebrews says that Abraham considered that God is able to raise the dead. In other words: Even if my son dies, my promise won't. But either way, I will obey God. I can trust Him.

* * *

In the Christian church we have put marriage up on this pedestal. We figure we know the mind of God. We think we know the 'parameters' He works within. "Oh God wouldn't ask you to leave your husband." "God wouldn't be a part of divorce." "God wouldn't ask a husband and wife to separate."

Oh, really?

If God asked the father of your faith to kill his son, what makes you think He would never ask you to kill your marriage?

I mean, really. Think about that.

"But ... God says, 'What God has joined together let man not separate.'"

Yep. Exactly. Let man not separate. He is allowed to.

Oh, I know I'm stepping on toes here, but I'm gonna stomp away.

Putting my marriage up on the alter was not my idea. Being willing to let it die was a thousand miles from my thoughts. But I know the voice of God. I KNOW that He asked me to be willing to let it die. Will it die? That answer I do not know. I don't want it to. With all my being I don't want it to die. But my faith and obedience to God cannot waver regardless of whether it does or doesn't.

I used to be in the "God would never" camp. So I understand that view. But a year ago when God asked me to take the first step of faith regarding my marriage, my views had to start changing. I saw my marriage going down in flames if I obeyed God. Back then I had to face, in my imagination, the possibility of it dying. And I had to give it to God. Even if it died, I had to trust Him, and follow where He led. Never in a million years did I think it would actually face literal death. But the whole way I have kept having to stare death straight in the eyeballs and not flinch. And through this process I have discovered ... God really has taken the sting out of death. He really has conquered it. His love and faithfulness, care and protection for me will never cease regardless of what my husband does or doesn't do. Even if my marriage dies, my promise doesn't.

I am clinging to the rock. White knuckled, stubborn to the last breath. I will not move. Don't try to drag me off my rock. I will not leave it. I will not leave Him. Though He slay me, yet will I praise Him.

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.

Daniel 3:17,18
"... Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But {even} if {He does} not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."

My Mt. Moriah

2010-01-20T00:00:00.001-06:00

A little more than a year ago I blogged what is probably the shortest blog post in the history of my blog. I also posted about my own seasonal changes a year ago today. In re-reading these blogs, I realize that what I was experiencing foreshadowed so very closely what would happen in my heart in the coming year.

Throughout my life I have wondered occasionally about that trip that Abraham took to Mt. Moriah. Did he tell anyone about it? Did he tell Sarah? Did he tell Isaac? Did he keep it to himself? How was he feeling? What was he thinking? Did he second-guess himself? Did he ever wonder if he really had heard the voice of God?

I have wondered these thoughts. I have questioned myself so many times, it is impossible to count them. My trip to Mt. Moriah has taken a year, and now is the moment.

All my life I've dreamed of being married. From the time I was 6 I've thought about, dreamed about, imagined about being married. When I was 10, I had a moment with God when I realized the futility of breaking up. I asked that I never experience it. When I met the right man, that was going to be it for me. Forever from the first breath. I knew it meant I would have to be very choosy, and hear the voice of God very well, and I asked that He guide my life to that moment. He did that, and has faithfully guided me the whole way.

When I met my husband, there was something about him that affected my spirit in a way I had never experienced before. He just felt like home to me. Long before we even started dating. Unlike every other guy I had liked (and there were a lot), I never heard a 'no' from God ... and after several months of getting to know him, I actually heard a 'yes.' We started dating (by no planning on my part) on 7/21/03. My favorite numbers are 21, 7, and 3. Every step along the way I heard reassurrance after reassurrance; confirmation after confirmation that I was on the right path. There is absolutely NO doubt in my mind that God joined us together.

After a short time with him, I made what, in retrospect, was a catastrophic decision on my part. I chose him over God. God was asking me to follow Him, and because Ben became angry and fought what God was saying to me, I asked God to stop speaking. I would follow God, but only if my husband did too.

Well ... God did stop speaking. He was still there, and was always with me. He didn't abandon me. But the richness of following hard after Him waned. I thought I had made a noble decision. In reality, I had formed another god. I wanted my marriage more than I wanted Him.

About two years ago, I felt spring come to my heart. Suddenly everything started coming alive to me again. Why was this? Did my husband have something to do with it, or was it just the benevolence of God? I don't know the answer to that. But spring did come, and with it the richness of once again learning of Him. I became heavily involved in blogging, and met so many of you. Life was springing up everywhere.

Then a year ago, at the head of the year, I heard an urgent note sound in my spirit. I was impressed to start studying seasons, and heard God say, "Your seasons are changing and you need to understand what's happening." So I started studying. The result was, in short, what became the series on seasons I posted here. I discovered that I was heading into a fall season, as God started asking me to let go of things I had thought I needed. All pertained to my marriage. I had to let go of ways of doing things, ways of thinking, ways of treating my husband, and simply allow what I thought valuable to fall to the earth and die. As I wrote in that post, the things God asked me to let go of reduced me to a puddle of tears. I saw my marriage crashing and burning in 6 months time. Yet this time I knew I couldn't deny the Shepherd of my soul. I couldn't refuse to walk after Him. My own soul and spirit had to cling to the only source of life I know.

Over the next months more things kept being stripped away, as the leaves of fall. When I was bare and had nothing left, the first winter storm hit. It was 6 months later. Over the next 6 months there were numerous storms, interspersed with 'resting places' (thank you, Michaela!) that allowed us time to breathe. Yet the storms kept coming.

Throughout this year, I have walked the road to Mt. Moriah. I have obeyed the voice of the Spirit, to take the thing which I treasure most, and offer it up. I have known at each step that death stared me in the face; the death of this most precious marriage the Lord had given me. I came to realize that I can have no other gods before Him. I came to realize I will have no other gods before Him.

On December 29th, I laid in my niece's bed, and cried once again to the Lord. I took off my rings and held them up to Him, and said, "Lord, my marriage is yours. If you require it of me, I will give it. I will let it die. And if you raise it to life, it will live. But even if not, I will have no other gods before You."

So ... here I am. My marriage is on the alter. The knife is about to fall. I must follow the voice of my Shepherd. I cannot leave the Lover of my soul. Where He leads me, I will follow. My husband is still fighting. Still insisting on walking his own path. He is convinced in his own mind that he is right. And yet ... I cannot save him. Only the Lord can turn his heart.

I know, quite clearly, that life and death is on the line. I must choose life. I will choose life. Whether or not my husband will also choose it is an answer I don't know.

Today, at 3:00pm my time a moment of decision will come. I know that not only my marriage, but my husband's soul is on the line. It is literally life and death that hangs in the balance. I do not believe I exaggerate. It is hard to imagine the enormity of these things. SO hard to believe that we have come to this place.

If you are a praying person, I implore you to pray for the soul of my husband. If there can yet be a miracle, I am clinging onto the hope that the only One who can do it is still in control.

Thank you my friends.

Time for a(nother) listen

2010-01-02T19:10:00.004-06:00

Happy New Year!! I hope your year closed out well and began well. On my New Year I found myself alone with my Lord, and simply worshiped. He gave me this song to sing, and I sang it over and over to my Lover as I rang in the New Year. I hope it ministers to you as it did me.

Time for a listen

2009-12-28T10:17:00.002-06:00

I know I've posted this before, but I hadn't heard it in a long time, and ... it got me today.

Where I am

2009-12-24T09:17:00.004-06:00

Wow, has it really been almost a month since I last blogged? Well, hello to all who have missed me.

I hope this Christmas is a good one for you; I hope you are learning more of God's love for you, and feeling the peace and rest that come along with knowing Him.

This Christmas is a particularly difficult Christmas for me for several reasons. There are some very difficult things that my husband and I are walking through in our marriage, and these have come front and center for us right at this time.

I went to bed last night meditating on and repeating over and over two passages: "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living." and "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide under the shadow of the Almighty ... [etc] ... 'Because he has loved Me,' declares the Lord, 'Therefore I will deliver him. With a long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.'" I kept pondering those passages and wondering what David knew. Why did he know that he would see the goodness of God in the land of the living? What gave him that confidence? Because when you're talking about deep despair, there has to be a hope deeper still to plumb those depths and still stand solid. What did David know, and how did he know it?

"Because he has loved me." That just wrecked me. To hear my God say that of me. That he values this little bitty love that I can bring to Him so highly, that He would bend heaven and earth to rescue me. The only thing this passage associates with 'loving Him' is ... dwelling in the secret place of the Most High. So where is this secret place? Am I there? Have I found the secret place? Have I valued it enough to find it? I want to believe that I have. But I know there is always more to know. Always more secrets to uncover; more depths to plumb. Oh the vastness of the riches of God! I want to know this secret place with all of my being. And I WANT this Incredible One, this Lover of my soul to know how much I do love Him back. His love is a force so strong, I don't want to resist. My will is captured. When you have my will, you have all of me, for then I don't want to be anywhere else. My heart is forever His. NO ONE in heaven or on earth could love me like He does.

I have been reminding myself continually that my God is big enough and strong enough to carry me. As a child, I loved to be carried by my Dad, and thought up nearly any excuse I could find to get him to carry me. God is reminding me right now that He is always there to carry me just the same way--I never get too big for His arms. What seems like a heavy load for me is nothing for Him. I like seeing God in that muscle-y kind of way.

Merry Christmas!

By the way, thanks to all who prayed and commented. I forwarded them onto Lisa, and she was blessed. Here's what she said:

Thank you so much for thinking about us and having others lift us in prayer. The Lord has been good, we have felt Him near, comforting us, letting us know that all will be fine and that we will see our loved ones! The Peace of God is with us and I thank God for your life as well as the saints that took time to write us...let them know that I am grateful for their powerful prayers!

Thank you, my friends!

Comfort those ...

2009-11-30T15:11:00.002-06:00

Have you ever lost a loved one? Do you remember the pain, heartache, sadness, profound sense of loss?

If you have, then you are who I'm talking to.

I just heard from a dear friend of mine who I haven't talked to in four years. It turns out that this past week her pastor, mother-in-law, and nephew (9 years old) all died. Sunday, Monday, Wednesday.

She is doing well and feeling the comfort of the Lord, but I am wondering if I can pull on my faithful friends here to lift up a prayer of comfort for her and her family - in fact, all families involved. The nephew has a cousin who is one week younger than him - I remember when they were born. They were best friends, and for him this loss is profound indeed.

Her name is Lisa. The family names are Franco and Pena. They need a lot of shoulders to lean on and help bear this load. Even a short prayer is powerful. Thank you all so much in advance.

Flexibility

2009-11-28T13:16:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I might be a little weird, but humor me a bit if you can.

I was watching this video on msn today ...

( go here: http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/studying-a-mindbending-backbender/264m0dss?from=sharepermalink sorry, but there isn't an embed option ... I looked. And it may take a bit longer to load.)

... and I got a tad choked up.

Why?

Well, the video is about the science behind a particular contortionist's movements. She is able to bend her entire body backwards over her head and balance on her teeth by using a teeth grip. The scientists wanted to figure out how it is even possible for the human body to pull off a stunt like this.

The conclusion is that the body has what is called a "stretch reflex" whose function it is to tell the body's muscles not to extend themselves too far. It seems to be this stretch reflex that is actually responsible for inflexibility rather than the muscles themselves. (I had heard this theory before but didn't fully understand it. I still don't fully understand it, but I'm getting there.) The stretch reflex is basically a panic button. It's a "full stop" order that is given from the brain, intending to prevent injury to the muscles. In order for her to effectively stretch her body to such limits without the stretch reflex kicking in, she has to carefully train and warm up her muscles, being careful not to make sudden movements that would trigger the stretch reflex. Because she has trained her body for so long and so carefully, her muscles never panic. They are calm and at ease, even in what appears to be the most difficult conditions.

Still don't understand why I got choked up?

Well ... I relate this to our spiritual bodies. Or even the Body of Christ as a whole. We have muscles in the spirit as well as the natural (the natural gives us a picture of what the spiritual looks like and how it functions). How many times are we presented with situations where it feels something like an inflexible muscle is screaming, "I can't do that!!" We are inflexible. Rigid. We feel pain from anything more than 'normal' life and 'usual' stretching. Yet ... can we imagine a reality where we could be as flexible in the spirit as this lady is in the natural? Is it possible? Is it possible to manage the muscles of our spirit so well that we know and respect their limitations and are able to calmly extend without pain and without panic? Is it possible?

How about the Body of Christ? Can we be that flexible? Can we see ourselves in positions we would never have before thought possible? If we eliminate the panic, eliminate the fear (perfect love casts out all fear) would we be able to be extended into any position without pain and injury?

Spiritual flexibility.

What do you think? Is it possible? How flexible are you? Could you conceive a possibility where you could improve your flexibility in some way?