Malice in Wonderland

Stardust

2011-09-17T22:20:00.000-04:00

Into the sky we go, where dreams are as common as cracks on the road.
We will walk and laugh and dance until we lose ourselves.
Like a midnight beach without the moonlight
We have to feel just to survive.
We are not them anymore.
We were always better.
We were the lights.
We were the stars.
We were bright.
We still are.
We will be
forever
again
you
me
1

A Man Dissevers Everything

2011-09-05T14:56:00.000-04:00

A simple embrace. A sacred face.
A touch that marks the end of tears.
A moonlight slow dance. A star bound romance.
We blink our eyes and it all disappears.
Just push me away. Sacrifice the day.
Your lies are no longer sweet to me.
A moonlit shadow. Promises, hollow.
Memories are obsolete to me.
All your pretty perfume letters
burn up fast like your loyalty.
The only thing you were faithful to
was your commitment to destroying me.
I feel replaced. Spit in my face.
I used to feel perfect next to you.
You had your reasons. Leave me in pieces.
I just didn't expect you to.
Smiles captured. Forgotten raptures.
The shutterspeed was too quick to save us.
Tears and laughs. Faded photographs.
I misplaced the negatives they gave us.
Disturbing dreams. Return these screams.
Every night another blade in my back.
Forever in the dark. You sever our hearts.
We close our eyes and softly fade to black.

Kerosene Dreams

2011-09-05T14:43:00.000-04:00

They say we're born to be lost souls and mask their hate with pity in their eyes.
They blame it all on broken homes, but they just watch us burning alive
...they never expected us to survive.

I hope every assumption was worth it. We fought for our lives and made it through.
Don't run away from your burdens. You left us behind so broken and abused
...now we're strong enough to come after you.

Children who never forget become the men who never forgive.
We were young, helpless, and hopeless, but we've grown heartless and ready to give
...back to those who left so soon
...back to those who didn't care
Vengeful hearts despise the fake.
So give me an honest reason why someone like you should be spared.

They sold us their kerosene dreams and told us innocence was overrated.
Take these match sticks and be set free. Hearts only make things complicated
...the only escape is to incinerate it.

You set us up to be executed. But we'll cut that smile off your face.
Don't run away from what you ruined. You left us breathing in our shallow graves
...now we're strong enough to make you pay.

We're lost souls. We never forget. I remember. I will not forgive.
We were torn when you left us for dead. But now I'm darker and ready to live
...for all those who let me down
...for all those who left me there
My mercy died along with my heart.
There's nothing you can do or say to make me forget you were never there.

Mercy Takes Malice

2011-09-05T14:27:00.001-04:00

Take me away from all I've known
a heart on fire trapt in stone
Let these walls disintegrate
force it to incinerate
and burn my sorrow to ashes

In your eyes I find my solace
Love is mercy when life is malice
turn this chaos upside-down
watch it all go crashing down
and find me in the disaster

I hate you for understanding
I hate you because you're clueless
I hate you and all you love
because it makes me feel so useless.
Your blind faith makes me sick
your smile is a waste of time
you're the reason I finish nothing
because I think of you and fall behind.

Here and now I find my place
your liar mouth, your angel face.
Bury me before this fades
you have all my strengths in spades
to tuck me gently in my grave.

I can't go on this way
you always seem to make me wait
Just another waste of time
just another thing to hate.

I hate you for all my flaws
I hate you because I'm wrong
I hate truth and how it burns
because I could never hate you at all.

Halos, Hearts, and Hand Grenades

2011-09-05T13:55:00.000-04:00

Baby, your love is a loaded gun and every good-bye is a bullet fired
point blank and laser guided,
my heart is hard and razor wired
But you still hit your mark.
Is this all you need me for
just another target heart
just another dark new day
trade common sense for love and hate
Am I the absolution you were looking for
for the pictures that fade
where the bodies were laid
and for all those stubborn hearts
that never ever change.
So hold me close enough to know
my world will end if you let go
close enough to say hello
and let that trigger go
Say my name unafraid
I'm not going down this way
your heart is not my grave
A broken stone right by the gate
A lonely rose dropped in the rain
I'm not your victim tonight, my love.
Is that what you wanted me to say
or is history not good enough
to rip you from that grace
that undeserved sense of faith
to roll around in ancient stains.
Halos, hearts, and hand grenades,
We all end up the same.

Looking for Amanda Kill (Official Trailer)

2011-08-11T17:20:00.000-04:00

Hurdle the Dead

2011-08-07T15:26:00.000-04:00

I don't break hearts. It's the memories I collect.
Gone but not forgotten, defined in retrospect.
Smiles and tears, hopes and dreams.
Moments unravel like stitches to a seam.
Picture perfect pleasantries.
Silly scrapbook tendencies.
We record the world and memorize the faces.
Trapped inside a diary, we wither like the pages.
History leaves our hearts in utter disarray.
And as we fall apart, we cling to what remains.
We worship the past, we honor the stains.
We sacrifice logic to recreate the pain.
Just a simple emotion, a first love once again.
Never really move on. Never hurdle the dead.
Never let go. It's impossible to forget.
Because the magic we had will never be a regret.
We divide our hearts in the shape of love.
But now our passion falls short and its not enough.
Can't return to neverland if only you believe.
The flight of our hearts is a distant memory.
In the back of my mind I feel every emotion again.
Swimming and spinning before the emptiness began.
So I say to you hearts, pure and passionate.
We are made of scars, we are made to forget.
But before the light of our eyes falls to shadow and sorrow
Light up the night with bright dreams of tomorrow.
If I based my life on the person I once was,
I would have never discovered the man that I've become.

Echoes in the Emptiness

2011-08-03T20:43:00.000-04:00

The violin will scream songs of your demise
Gracefully alluding to thoughts of another time.
This wicked wonderland lullaby
Say good night one last time.
When all the tears refuse to dry
Painfully eluding the truth behind the lies
This frigid fragile kiss good night
I would die to forget your eyes.

I don't believe this is the last of all my dreams
though it seems to remain unseen.
I can't believe this is the only way to bleed
but I'm certain I've came to be...
empty.

I try to memorize all my words
Piercing their meaning into the walls of my heart
Another poem with another verse
Say you'll fall for me. Say you'll fall apart.
Impossible to compromise.
Hearing all the sounds without a syllable spoken
You were always the music of the night.
But tonight your notes fall upon the broken.

And if this song plays to the end of me
though it seems to remain unseen.
And if these words destroy your dreams
you will know what it is to be empty...
just like me.

Survive

2011-07-07T18:01:00.000-04:00

Painful sacrifices that I make
Stubborn little vices never break
Filthy disguises at my wake
It's of no surprise that you're all fake
I can see the truth left in your eyes
Put to death by all your simple lies
Just another ruse that was misplaced
Meant to substitute for your disgrace

Say another word but rhyme this time
Just another flirt with compromise
Tell me I'm the one who's always wrong
Then I'll say I knew it all along
Deep inside a face that I despise
Sleep inside a grave to clear my mind
Another blink away from sacrifice
Another window painted black as night

Cry another tear in the name of hate
While another fear gives birth to fate
Wicked little scars resemble pride
I want more than you could ever provide

Taken by force in the dead of night
Drifting off course but I can still fight
Lost in the chamber of another tragedy
Waiting for the trigger to set me free

All the worthless words I never thought I'd say
Hopeless and discouraged, I walk away
Each step is an eternal way to say
I'll never learn how to survive this way.

A Letter to My Reflection

2011-04-15T12:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Mirror,

Fuck you and everything you believe in. All this confidence, all this ambition, all this momentum, all for nothing. How can I believe in you when no one believes in me? Truth, faith, and commitment are nothing but the diluted components of pseudo-security. Careful now, reflection. Remember, you're just an image. Everyone sees you; everyone loves you: the success story, the glamor, the pretty shell that covers the chaos. That's all you are--a costume, a mask, a glorified facade. But you have no substance. You are a worthless dream. I am the reality here--me and all my flaws. And when I'm judged, labeled, or frowned upon, you always disappear. When the truth approaches, you flee. You leave me to my scars like a wound without a bandage.

No one cares to look at you when the negatives come out. No one sees accomplishments anymore; all they see is failure. People never want the whole picture. They want the best or the worst. The pinnacle and the pit will always invoke the most attention, separately. Very few accept the entire story. Most just want the interesting chapters, the peaks and valleys of the roller coaster. But I can't live to please everyone anymore. I can't embrace a fabricated life. Your reign has been overthrown by truth my old friend. I used to see myself in you, but now there's only lies. You've led me down a path of falsity and pain. So, I bleed these words and cry these lines with no remorse for you. Oh mighty reflection, your power has run its course. Playing make-believe was fun. The popularity was exciting. The attention you received was amazing. I could have never done that alone. But it doesn't relent the fact that you are fake. You no longer have a place in my world. And if people like me less when you're gone, so be it.

From this point on, I will never call to you for support, search for your confident face, or attempt to catch a glimpse of what might have been. I used to split myself in two for you. But now, when I look into the mirror, I will see myself--my scars along with my successes, my pain along with my pride. I am a better person whole than divided. This world tramples the weak, and I am so much stronger without you. Never show your ugly face again. You no longer exist.

Sean Williams

Proceed Without Caution

2011-04-04T16:48:00.000-04:00

Some clown tattoos and a little heavy metal
Loud mouth with a heart that never settles
Down to earth, but on another level
Unlike most, I wear my scars like medals.
I take the parts I lose and stitch them to my sleeve.
Beaten and bruised, but these are memories.
These are my core, my reason to breathe.
To remind me how I triumphed over threats of defeat.
Regret's a disease. I forget them with ease.
Life is just a race now and I'm taking the lead.
I hurdle the weak and trample the strong.
I heard all their screams but I have to move on.
Abandon my caution, my fear, and my care.
Life is too short to hope for shit that ain't there.
I can't suspend my ambition for society's sake
I can't pretend to listen if the words are entirely fake.
I don't try to be great. I don't even want to be saved.
I'd rather be a dead individual than a popular slave.
I'll never be a copy or an acceptable face.
I am not appropriate enough to be considered okay.
I'm not a member or a client; I'm causing static for statistics.
Remember I'm defiant to your demographic shitlist.
And I spit fire so you should close your eyelids.
Unless you want to see the truth from a wicked ex-convict,
carry on pussies. Onto the next conflict.
You say we all have the right to remain silent.
But I choose my right to never stay quiet.

3 Minute Rant

2011-04-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

Face it, you're basic. You will never be like me. Taste it, embrace it. Vindication is so sweet. Revenge is tough, but it isn't enough. I want victory wrapped in triumph and glory covered in blood. I choose metaphorical violence over allegorical silence. Like Vlad the impaler, I put bodies on sticks. I make the loudest statements without ever saying shit. I dine in the presence of victims and darkness, drink champagne with devil, but he's my next target. I've seen doom and terror, been through gloom and error. Seen every peak and valley in this human era. Lived like Jack and Sally but without the presents. This isn't Christmas; this is a motherfuckin' nightmare. It took a long time to discover that life doesn't fight fair. Been through the grinder, been through ringer, been punched, kicked and spat on, but kept my middle finger up in the air, with no breath left to spare, with blood in mouth and teeth on the floor, I will never go down without asking for more. I watched my world come crashing down. So we ain't friends; you're all just ashes now. Nothing but a pile of mistakes and bad dreams. But I've risen with a smile, as devious as I can be. I represent the person that you wish could be. I add the 3rd dimension to everything 2D, I can't be understood because I'm just too deep. But let me go in depth for a minute real quick. If width equals strength and length equals drive, I am currently the largest motherfucker alive. - SW

Autumn Falls

2011-03-11T23:52:00.000-05:00

Age 10:
To the tune of amber rain, a soft song for the wind
She gathers her dreams in a plastic bag, knotted to keep them in
She mentions her father's words and her mother's helpful hints
"Don't be a dreamer your whole life" ... the world will always win.

Age 16:
Her eyes are full of promise, a skewed view of bravery
She lies until she's honest and believes wholeheartedly
She thinks she knows what awaits, passion or tragedy
But she doesn't see things as they are but how they ought to be.

Age 21:
She abandons all she knows, trades it for the sites
Leaving with one purpose, to leave the world behind
She loves the taste of fall and the sweet October glow
"Don't be a dreamer your whole life" ... what do they know?

Age 25:
At first, she takes in all the wonders, the pretty oohs and aahs.
Like Dorothy, before the witch, its her first glimpse of OZ
Bewildered and excited, she maintains her confidence
As sturdy as a house a cards, but sturdy nonetheless.

Age 30:
Confronted by the thoughts, these wicked little things
Fears and doubts and hollow mouths, why these bitter things
Where are all the trees, with their color changing leaves
"Don't be a dreamer your whole life" ... nothing is what it seems.

Age 40:
Autumn falls upon the clouds, a firestarter sky
She's all alone inside her head, a cell for hopes to die
She remembers when she used to dream for something new to see
Now she can only hope and wish for the way they used to be.

Age 60:
Chasing leaves and catching colds, an innocent endeavor
Trading dreams for days of old, impossible to measure
She speaks of her regrets and the biggest mistake she made
"Don't be a dreamer your whole life" ... reality never waits.

Subtleties are for pussies

2011-02-21T12:57:00.001-05:00

subtleties are for pussies who tell it how it might be
well I tell it how it is hopin you wanna fight me.
hearts with price tags and friends like douchebags
It's hard to get by in a world full of scumbags.
but I don't lie anymore, I don't have to pretend.
everyone knows I'm a fuckin monster with a pen.
a fucking problem to the end.
My mind doesn't sleep, it only waits to breathe
It waits for opportunity like a stalker in the breeze.
behind the windows of truth and the doors of a dream.
like a beast under the bed just plotting tragedies
I'll reveal it all just to get shit off my mind.
I don't care who gets hurt, I don't care if you cry.
Someone has to take it this far.
Someone has to be authentic for once.
All you fake ass martyrs. Pseudo-suicide cunts.
I been to hell already, shared a cell with the devil
on another level to revel in the dark with the rebels
I slept with the traitors and hung with the thieves
I bodied the haters and got sprung from the scene.
No one can tell me shit about struggle.
I been through it all
I know disaster and pain like the back of my fist
With every scar in place like a badge on my wrist
I'll never bleed for you though. I'll never threaten my core.
I have yet to find something worth suffering for.
See the difference between a pro and a novice is
beginners make threats and I make promises.
And I don't go back on anything that I believe
If I say it like it is, that means that's the way its gonna be.
I am the proof that there is a reality.
I spent my whole life destroying the methods of duality.
the existence of normality with resistance to formalities
While you conform to the storms of commercial sub-realities.
Controversial contradictions like spending life as a statistic
living under surveillance, under supervised restrictions
under video cameras like an awkward urinalysis
this is my fucking life. This is not your analysis.
I am not a basis for your fucking comparisons.
I am not a race or a model for your averages.
I am a fucking person with heart that bleeds.
I'm no longer a number or a suspect on the street.
This is a country of savages. A cunt tree of scavengers.
Big business big wigs, slave traders and bastards.
You can pay for stock in prisons but you cant buy a conscience
Don't complain about crime when it increases your profits.
Fuck the rules of the rich. They will never apply.
Not to me or the real, just to superficial eyes.
An official compromise of the issues at hand.
Why is a dollar worth more than the death of a man?
I'll never understand but I'll always stand above
when everyone sells out and the world is not enough
I'll remain right here as real as my blood
Spitting fire on the people that choose money over love
Money over truth, money over you, money over it all.
I will never fall for your ways. I'd rather die for a cause.
Out of pocket and above the laws.
Fuck your fabricated integrity. Yea I said it to whoever is affected.
I will never be what you expected. Mother fuck you all.

The Art of Self Destruction

2011-02-21T10:45:00.000-05:00

An architect of self destruction.
Streak these reds across the page.
Intentions remain so counterproductive.
I'd bleed out just to write about the stains.

Have faith in where passion will take you.
A ripped page on black concrete.
Wicked designs like a mental breakthrough.
Slipping through the cracks under my feet.

Shattered charisma and broken sleep.
Impossible strokes under sickening light.
Just splatter the paint and hope to dream.
A reckless approach to a blistering fight.

Scar up another piece of worthless fabric.
Pour the future stains all over the voids.
Mark the reality of passion with static.
Scrape the silence with the violence of noise.

Write motherfucker like its all you have.
Paint as if the world wants you dead.
Carve out a story and sell your heart.
Remember creativity is a gun to your head.

A Beautiful Fraud

2011-02-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

Please hold your applause. I'm a lost cause.
Hiding in your expectations.
Circling in my desperation.
I'm not who everyone thinks I am.
Just pretty ink across the page.
A handsome lie for a face.
This isn't my reality.
This is a cryptic tragedy.
This is nothing but a dream.
I feel everyone staring at me.
Watching and waiting for miracles.
But apprehension is all I see.
A little boy still afraid of failure.
I am nothing but a lie.
I am a beautiful fraud.
Confidence is painted on and decorated for you all.
A decimated truth. An aggravated youth.
With so much, so much, too much left to prove.
Selfish and cynical.
You are all just objects with eyes.
Too oblivious to realize that I am just a lie.
A hundred smiles in your face.
Never see this empty space.
I just hide in plain sight.
Too obvious is never obvious enough.

Fleeting Facade

2011-01-27T09:07:00.000-05:00

I must be hopeless. I can't seem to get this right.
I can't stop fucking up this heart of mine.
I say the wrong things at the wrong times.
I'm almost done trying.

I am apprehensive with every decision.
Will this one be the death of me?
If I keep scraping through life this way,
there will be nothing left of me.

I can't feel this way.
I am fading away.
I will disappear before you notice.
Then it will be too late.

I needed to be me. Someone I loved.
I'd bleed to be me. Someone that was enough.
But this was my fleeting facade.
I felt like nothing while you played God.

Well this murder has come to an end.
I am done dying for everyone.
Keep the tears you've caused.
Because there won't be another one.

2011-01-17T16:33:00.002-05:00

We don't make mistakes. Mistakes make us.

A Thousand Lives

2011-01-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

A new year inside the glass, another pause for the sand to pass. We sit alone in our soft hearts and wait to sate the hands of fate.
Another breath of another day, another glance, just look my way. We've come so very far not to spend our lives in each others' arms.
Sweet ballads and sour dreams, wake up first just to watch you sleep.
I've lived a thousands deaths about a thousand lives ago. But now I breathe next to you and it saves my heart to know...

...I am alive
Finally alive inside. A fire set for the blaze. A riot without a cage. Pushing down the lies of a thousand broken lives, too many failing tries.
But there's a killer in your eyes, where all the mistakes of my life go to die.

She's a beautiful breath to take, another plague on the fake. She is my brand new looking glass with bones of steel and a magic laugh.
Another soul to suffocate all the worries I've come to hate. We've got it all in spades, together now and nothing but the sky awaits.
Silent nights and thunder days, I'd give it all to make you stay.
This is all that matters now, not the why and not the how, but who, who I've come to be. When you're standing next to me...

...I am alive.
It only took a thousand lives to find you. A thousand lies. A thousands ways to die inside. But I'd do it all again just to keep you by my side.
I am finally alive.

Dead End Armageddon

2010-12-22T12:44:00.001-05:00

Unorthodox apocalypse. Dead end Armageddon.
No one wants to contradict and let the future set in.
Who will be your friend then? How will you pretend then?
When the days are lost to memories, the past will never end.
Don't apologize for anything as these nights burn out.
If you can't pick out the lies, then you better learn how.
Time is wasting away beneath our dirty palms and minds.
Life is just a waltz around a field of bombs and mines.
These concubines, useless relationships, I hate this shit.
Friends are only around to help you celebrate your bliss.
Never commiserating shit. So quick to flee with the pain life brings.
It's fucking disgusting. And it's too late to discuss things.
Once you step off my plane of existence expect future resistance
My ego is persistent and my cold shoulder's vindictive.
You can fall away forever until you break your neck on your reflection.
Visualize the lies you used to compromise. Synaptic recollection.
Unadaptive obsessions end in disaster and regression.
Captivating catastrophes highlight the truth like a lesson.
The ink is fresh on the page but it will forever stain
I didn't learn from you, I learned from the pain.
I learned to flush the garbage from my heart's drain.
This denial was beautiful before it was an issue.
But I lost myself in trust with the idea that I'd miss you.
This world has a way to take away what is fake.
Painstaking and breathtaking, left my mind wide awake.
Once a blind mistake, now a moment to take
A moment to make a choice to make a change.
To save myself and sell you out like you did to me
This war was your idea. I just want the victory.
So yea maybe these memories are contradictory.
Maybe I am just a bitter fuck bent on causing misery.
But I don't give a fuck. My smile has never been this wide.
This life and these pricks gave me my sense of pride.
Because no matter how many nights I've spent dying alone.
I made it through without you. I did it on my own.
So thank you for showing me all my priorities.
Thank you for the key to living without falsities.
I will never make a promise that I don't plan to keep.
I will never take a moment if I don't plan to dream.
I will never be you. I'll always question what I see.
So here's to the fake and the real me you set free.

Crash the Market

2010-12-20T12:10:00.001-05:00

We can educate the young. We can devour the weak.
We can medicate the dumb with our power to speak.
We are in charge of the world. We are the only dreamers left.
We will fight for our hearts to the moments of our death.
Until our breath breaks apart from the lungs in our chest.
And they pile up our parts in the ground like the rest.
No longer forgotten like the rotten and the ignorant.
They will remember my name but not for its innocence.
I will live my life making marks on society.
Eroding and corroding the ways they fuckin lied to me.
But I'm no hero, just a monster with a motive.
I'm no man; I'm just boy who exploded.
Let's take a second to realize. Nah, don't waste a moment.
Just look at life through real eyes and realize that you own it.
Propaganda prophecies with the power to influence.
These media mockeries screamin Nike- just do it.
Just ruin. Just shut up and go through it.
Close your fuckin mouth now if you aint gonna use it.
They try to tell us that our thoughts are no longer pursuant
To their cause and their fight so now we're incongruent
To their laws and their rights so thinkers are the enemy.
We must maintain an image and sell our identity.
Our minds are marketable like statistics and prisons.
Cage away imagination with no choice but to listen.
But a voice is my mission and I choose to disrespect
any motherfucker who's brave enough to attempt
an attack on my right to speak my mind free and clear.
Anyone disagree? I'll be standin right here.

Bleeding Through

2010-11-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

When all the hearts are suicide kings and the stage is filled with wild eyed dreams, never turn around for me. Don't stop, just keep it movin, full throttle into the night.

After all, I'm stronger than I was, just a memory in the wreckage, hiding in the dust. Don't try to save me anymore. Fire till the end of it all, these burning hearts will fly.

I say it now and clear as day, I love these moments that fade away.

Take me down and fear the way I never wanna change.

Caught off guard by the taste of truth and a little distracted by thoughts of you, I'll never sacrifice these days. Never fill your hollow. Never break the chain.

Harder now into the faces of doubt, we fall for the causes we used live without. I can't pretend to feel certain. Never lie about the curtain. It's crashing down on us all.

When it goes or if it stays, I'll love the faces you will make.

Another blow, another blaze. We will burn forever this way.

Come on love, this is not a game. But if it is, I'll stay to play.

Another ghost of yesterday. I will haunt your heart with all the words you never wanted to say.

For all those kisses that became our scars and all those stitches sealing up our hearts, we can go on like this forever. I will bleed through my chest until this ends.

...or until you fail to steal my breath, which will never ever happen.

Just another Saturday night...

2010-11-07T13:19:00.000-05:00

On the Sidewalks

2010-11-07T13:17:00.001-05:00

Open my eyes; cut the stitches of consequence

Not just another camouflage for contemporary coincidence.

Take my heart for what it’s worth; just pennies on a dollar.

Hear my voice from empty walls and ignore the silent hollers.

Evacuate your heart and empathize with the broken.

Soft spoken solitude unfortunately left unspoken.

I am the ghost; I am the darkness; I am the shadows on the sidewalk.

Deny your sympathy to protect the path your pride walks.

Embrace your falsities, your facades and fabrications.

Wonder in the atrocity of limitless limitations.

Accept me to except me, but don’t expect me to be accepting.

Like the wicked tribulations that teach you to repress things.

Knights of Nosferatu, we are the city slicker martyrs.

Suck the last drops of our innocence; make these sidewalks even darker.

Halloween

2010-11-07T13:12:00.000-05:00