uhm...

thirty.

2011-08-23T15:57:00.001-07:00

“So you guys are going to start trying for kids?” my dad asked me with a straight face. I was over at my parents’ for a nice home-cooked lunch and I had just finished telling my dad about the whole Tejiri drama. Daddy had always been number one confidant right from time. He knew stuff about me that even Kiki and Layefa didn’t know.
“What?” I asked with a smile. Daddy wasn’t smiling back though. “Delores, I’m serious o. Are we going to hear the pitter patter of new feet in this house or not?” My mouth hung open for like ten seconds. I couldnt believe my dad was talking to me in that tone. It sounded like he was taking things more seriously than i was.
“Uhm..well..uh..yeah..i guess”, i stood up. “Not immediately obviously but sometime probably soon i guess”. “Hmmmn.” He grunted. I picked up my bag. What was his problem anyway? He was usually on my side. Why was he acting like there was something he really wanted to say but just wasn’t saying it?
“See you later, dad” i stomped out so fast i didnt even hear my mom calling after me.

It was raining when i got outside. My mom was probably calling me back to wait till the rain stopped. She’d always had a problem with me driving in the rain. I hurriedly got into my car and sped off.
I turned on my car radio and held on to the tuning button till i heard the sounds of Pink’s Perfect.
“Pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like you’re less than, less than perfect...” my speakers blared. I didnt even realize i was crying until a tear drop trickled past my lips.
It wasnt fair the way everyone was on my case. So what if I didn’t want kids? What if I wasn’t just cut out for kids? Huh? They didn’t think of that now did they?
As if all my own drama wasn’t enough for me, I still had Kiki’s drama to deal with. I punched my fist into my steering wheel and groaned loudly. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I tried to imagine how my conversation with Kiki would go. Before calling her, I decided to check out the so-called my wife of Tobi Savage. Yemisi Savage’s profile was more secure than her husband’s. I could only see her name and picture. Hitting the ‘capture-it’ button, I saved the picture of her facebook profile.
“Hey Kiki. There’s something I gotta show you. And tell you. See you in a bit” I left her a voice note. I needed a subtle way to prepare her mind. Since I got back from that lunch with IK earlier this week, I had been avoiding Kiki like a plague.
“Hurry! Your ice cream’s melting!” kiki pinged back. It had been a while since Kiki and I ordered pizza and ice cream at the office. Must be a special occasion, I thought.
As I drove out of the estate, I made a mental note to reply all Chris Laire’s pings. He had been bbming me all day and I hadn’t replied a single one yet. He probably wanted to reschedule our meeting. I was barely out of the estate gate when I got trapped in the traffic. Moving my gear to Park, I settled back into my chair and reached for my phone. Apart from Chris Laire, I had so many other bbms, messages, and emails to reply. I tried to reply them all in order of priority (business first, obviously). Wiping a drop of sweat off my brows, I thought out loud, “what is wrong with this ac now?” The sun was something else! I wondered how those people who didn't have air conditioning were surviving this weather.
I let out a whoop when the traffic suddenly started moving fast. At least I’d been able to accomplish a few things. Just as I flung my phone to the passenger seat, another ping came in. Shaking my head, I moved my gear back to Drive and sped along the express.

“Delores Thompson! Where the hell have you been?” Kiki cried in astonishment. She looked from me to her watch to me again. “You’ve been gone for almost three hours!”
“I know, I know. I got side-tracked at my parents’ house. Then there was traffic. I’m sorry!” I rambled slumping into the visitors chair in Kiki’s office. “What’s all that?” I asked gesturing to the pile of hampers and bouquets at the corner of the office. Blushing from deep inside, Kiki replied, “Oh that? Just a little something Tobi had delivered.” I fought seriously hard to keep myself from gagging.
“Soooo...what’s up with Chris Laire? He rescheduled yet?” Kiki passed me the box of pizza. I quickly checked my phone. Before now, Chris and I were basically still at the ‘Hey’, ‘How are you?’, ‘How has your week been?’ stage of our conversation. His latest message was ‘I haven’t been able to stop staring at your display picture all day’.
“Oh my gosh!!! He is totally flirting with me!” I tossed my phone at Kiki. I tried so hard to wipe the silly grin off my face but it just wasn’t happening.

twenty-nine

2011-08-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

“I’m sorry Delores. I realise that apologising doesn’t undo things but really I am sorry.” IK said slowly. “It’s ok IK. Sorry I lashed out at you like that but that’s pretty much how I feel.”

Our food arrived so we paused the conversation. The silence was pretty awkward while we ate so I brought out my blackberry and hit the twitter app.icon. I couldn’t help chuckling. My timeline was rather entertaining.
From no where, “Would you tell me if there some other guy?” Ik suddenly said. I raised my head from my food, “What?”. He repeated himself. I made sure there wasn’t even a pause for a second before I said, “Yes, IK. I would.” He nodded then went back to his food. Immediately, I closed my twitter page and opened the search page of Tobi Savage I’d bookmarked earlier. I clicked on the link to his Facebook. I didn’t even have to go far before I saw something that made me drop my fork:
Relationship status: Married to Yemisi Savage.
“Everything ok?” IK asked. “Yeah, Yeah. Just some stupid guy tweeting rubbish.” I replied exiting the page.
Apparently, IK was done eating. He pushed his plate away from him, leaned back in his chair and stared at me. “What?” I asked, stabbing a piece of chicken with my fork.
He kept staring at me for a few more seconds then: “I was gonna ask her to marry me”. My mouth formed the biggest ‘O’ ever. IK just stared at me with the same expression he’d had on his face. I was so speechless. I couldn’t believe that after all Kiki’s fears; IK did want to marry her.
When I didn’t say anything, he continued: “I ordered the ring online from H. Samuel”. All I could say was “Wow!”. It was all just too much for me to process that fast. Not only was Kiki gonna get married, she was also getting her dream engagement ring! Fuck Tobi savage mehn! “Please don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind.” I said looking straight into IK’s eyes. “You tell me, Delores. Should I?” I swear, right there I felt shock through my heart. He was considering leaving her? “IK! Are you kidding me?” this is getting rather serious oh, I thought. “Don’t get it twisted, I love Kiki. I wanna be with her. But do I think she’s ready for marriage? I really don’t know!” I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe that Kiki was about to ruin her dream life with her own stupidity!
This is the part where I have to be the bestest friend I could ever be to Kiki, I thought. “Kiki’s ready, IK. Really, she is.” I lied through my teeth. “She’s been ready for as long as I remember. You really don’t wanna know how many nights we stayed up crying and praying that one day she would indeed be Mrs. IK Ofili. I can’t believe you didn’t catch any of her signals! After about five minutes of not saying anything and staring into space, IK finally smiled. He chuckled then said, “Are you serious?” his eyes were actually sparkling with excitement. Oh boy, I thought. Kiki sooo owes me one. “Yuup!” I said downing the last of my juice. “You better not be whining me ohh” IK was still smiling. I shook my head and glanced at my watch. It was already past 3.
I wonder why Kiki isn’t pinging yet, I thought. I needed to get back to the office. “I gotta get going oh. I have a butt load of things to get done before the end of the day” I said.
“Oh. Sure thing. Thanks for seeing me Dee. Really, I appreciate this more than you could ever imagine. Seriously. Thanks.” He stood up to see me to my car.
“It was no trouble. Now that you have my pin, just hit me up next time you wanna talk, k?” I said picking up my bag and heading for the door. We walked to my car together. The rain hadn’t started yet. There were just little drizzles.
“Say Wasup to Layefa oh. And drive safely” IK said shutting my car door. I nodded and pulled out of the parking lot waving goodbye.

As I drove, a gazillion thoughts clouded my mind. Now that I had given IK the impression that Kiki was still on the marriage P, I had to make sure she really was! The whole Tobi savage thing wasn’t even helping. It’s like the guy was eroding her of all her senses. I tried to think of a subtle way to break it to Kiki that she had been frolicking round town with another woman’s husband.
Breaking my thoughts was a PING from Kiki. I didn’t reply. I tossed my phone into my bag and focused on the road. I rubbed my temples with the tips of my index and forefingers as I said a silent prayer to God to avert any traffic ahead.

twenty-eight

2010-12-24T02:51:00.000-08:00

Just like a miracle, the traffic actually began moving. I let out a whoop of excitement as I moved forward. In less than fifteen minutes, I was in Victoria Island. The annoying thing however, was that I didn’t see the cause of the un-moving hold-up.
“I am in the building!” I called Kiki as I entered the elevator. “Thank God!the Tolu girl is not picking her phone again oh” “I’m on my way up”.

“So are you free now?” Ik asked as I picked up his call. I glanced at my watch. It was 1:30. I had just concluded the meeting with Tolu Adams. She was only thirty-two and had survived cancer twice. She was going to be the centre-spread of our October issue.
“Uh…I just got out of a meeting. I could meet you at The Tea Room in like thirty minutes.” I said shooting a glance at Kiki who was across the reception talking with Tolu and her husband.
“Aite. I’ll see you then. Thanks Delores.” He sounded desperate. I quickly e-mailed Mrs. Obie a summary of the meeting with Tolu, grabbed my stuff then headed out to meet Ik. I told Bola to tell Kiki that I was meeting Layefa for lunch though. As I drove down the road, I tried to envisage what IK wanted to talk about. I knew it definitely had to do with Kiki’s strange attitude. What would I say? Did I even really know what was going through her mind?
I turned into the parking lot of The Tea Room. I spotted a familiar figure walking towards my car as I parked. I got out of the car and took off my shades. “Delores! Hey! How have you been?” It was Tunde. “Tunde! Hey yourself!!” I hugged him. “Lunch?” he asked. “Yup” I nodded. As we stood talking, the bright sunny weather suddenly turned grey again. “Rain? Ah. I guess I better leave you to your lunch then.” Tunde said. I waved him goodbye and walked briskly towards the entrance.
Ik was at the door waiting for me. “Delores” he called. I turned and saw him. “Ik! hi!!” I pulled him into a hug. I hadn’t seen him for quite a while. And if I could say so myself, he looked gooood! “Thanks alot for meeting me mehn. I swear, you cannot know how much this means.” He held me as he led me to our table. “Oh stop it! You’re my friend too noww” I replied. We had small talk for a bit. He asked about Layefa. I asked about work. He talked about the unbecoming traffic. I talked about MTN’s bad behaviour. Then we got down to real business.
“Wassup with your friend naww?” he asked. He was staring at the table and playing with his spoon. “You know what IK, I wish I could tell you I knew” I said gently. “She’s hurt, I know that for sure. But then I also know she’s forgiven you.” I continued. “Are you sure she has? Cuz it doesn’t seem that way at all, Delores” he looked up. “I think she’s just going through a rather immature phase where she makes you pay for placing her love on hold”, I stuttered. “I mean, I don’t know. I’m just guessing.” I quickly added. Ik shook his head, “Kiki doesn’t play like that naww. She obviously doesn’t miss me, does she?” “She does! That’s the thing! She’s up to some kinda game I really cant explain”. I tried my best to sound convincing. IK just shook his head like he didn’t want to believe there wasn’t more to Kiki’s behaviour.
“But you know you messed up now. You really didn’t expect things to fall back in place just cuz you realised your mistakes, did you?” I told him. He started to say something but I wasn’t done yet. In fact, I had a whole lot to tell him.
“You cant ‘just for the fun of it’ play with another human being’s emotions, say sorry and think everything’ll go back to normal. You have no idea the pain and rejection Kiki went through while you were clearing your head or doing whatever the hell you thought you were doing! You should consider yourself lucky she’s even still civil with you” my voice got a little louder. “Ah ahn! IK you no try ohh.” I said a little calmer.
He stared at the table. I guess he was shocked to hear me give it to him hot and spicy like that. He buried his face in his hands and heaved a sigh of regret.

2010-03-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

Ah ahn, I thought, what could be up? I quickly texted him back with the pin. Ten minutes later he pinged me.
IK: Yo how u been
Dee: heyyy! Long time!
Dee: I’ve been good oh. U?
IK: Yeah. Same here.
IK:Where you at?
Dee: Lekki.Traffic on my way to work.
IK: We have yans oh.
IK: Woulda called but I’m in a meeting atm.
Dee: Oh? Anything serious?
IK: Yes oh. Very serious.
Dee: Kiki’s ok sha. Right?
IK: Really, I don’t know!
IK: Was hoping you could tell me what was up with her actually.
Dee: Ah.
IK: Whatchu doing around like 1 today?
IK: We need to see bad bad.
Dee: I dunno for sure oh.
Dee: I’ll let you know when I get to the office.
IK: Ok. I’ll ping you later, k?
IK: the boss is shooting me dirty looks.
Dee: Lol. K. Ttyl.

The traffic was getting worse. It wasn’t even moving anymore. I called Kiki. “You at

work yet?” I asked once she picked up. “Ah ahn.What’s biting you? Good morning to

you too oh. I just drove in sha.” “Oh. It’s not a good morning here oh. I’m still in

lekki traffic!” “Ah. Eeyaah. Pele oh. Have you passed The Palms yet?” “I’m just about

getting there. Abeg send a deadline reminder to all the departments again. I’ll

probably get in just in time for the meeting with that Tolu girl.” I glanced at my

watch for the umpteenth time. “Sure, Sure. No wahala. I think she’s coming with her

husband sef.” Kiki sounded pretty calm compared to the tone she had yesterday. “Yeah?

Ehn, it’s good now.” “You dis girl sef! You didn’t even ask me about my dinner last

night. With Tobi!". This is serious oh, i thought. She wasnt even talking about Ik. I considered telling her about Ik's mysterious words but i decided against it.It could be about a surprise for Kiki. "You know what kiki,I'll call you back" I hit the end key.Next i clicked on my google shortcut and typed in the name Tobi Savage. i needed to get t the bottom of this once and for all.

twenty-six

2010-01-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

He smiled as he put down the paper, “Dee, I didn’t say that naww” “But you sound

like you are! Do you still want to hear more?” I pouted. “Sure baby. We’ve got a few

minutes to spare before we head out” he glanced at his watch. “Okay, okay. Did I

tell you about the time he was to photograph Reggie Bush for a Calvin Klein

commercial?” I was so excited talking about Chris. Kiki didn’t seem in the mood to

hear every single detail of my interview but I knew Layefa would always listen to me.

“So the director was trying to explain something to Reggie when Chris jumped in and

was like ‘I think this is what he means’ taking off his shirt and all! He said

Reggie and the rest of the crew were stupefied!” . Layefa actually chuckled. “So

what happened after that?” “The director was so taken by his poise that he renounced

the original idea and decided to do the commercial with both Reggie and Chris! Side

by side! And Chris still took the pictures!” “Wow! This guy really gets you excited

oh! How did he still take the pictures?” Layefa knew just how I like people reacting

to my gist. I just couldn’t stand it when I was telling someone about something and

they go ‘Mmhm’ or ‘yeah?’ or ‘eeyahh’ ‘Are you serious?’. I expected questions to

show you were really listening.

“With that Timer thing naww. Asin he’s seriously talented!” I finished my croissant,

glanced at the clock, gulped my juice then said, “Gotta run, boo”. Layefa glimpsed

his watch, “Yeah, yeah. We should get going”. We headed out the kitchen door.

“Baby, I think forgot my Coach sunglasses in your car” I said as I locked the door

behind me. “Oh? Don’t think you’d need them with this weather sha” we looked at the

sky. It had suddenly turned grey. “Darn! I hate rain!” I sulked. “See you later,

Dee” he kissed the top of my head and walked towards his car. I walked over to mine

and minutes later we both drove off.

I turned on the radio and let the music drive me. I was even more excited when

Freeze came on air. He cracked me up diee! A teenage girl called in and asked Freeze

to call up her dad and find out if he was really cheating on her mum. Like there’s

this thing they do at Cool FM where they call up people and play pranks on them to

find out stuff for people that called in. So Freeze called the girl’s dad and

pretends to be an ex-boyfriend of the lady he’s supposedly cheating with. It was

some funny shit mehn.

“Hehehehe, it’s your boy Da Grin…” the intro of my message tone blared. I scrambled

for my phone in my bag. I just loved getting text messages. They always got me

excited. I guess every girl feels that way when she hears her message tone too.

It was from my network! Boy was I pissed! I didn’t even read it before I deleted it

in anger. Just as I was tossing the phone back in my bag, I got another text. This

time it was from IK. It just simply said: what’s your BB pin?

twenty-five

2010-01-18T12:47:00.000-08:00

After I left the office I got stuck in traffic for about two and a half hours. The

only thing is, this time it was my fault. I should have known better than to hit the

road during rush hour. I had to call Chris and cancel, anyway. I got home at 8:12

exactly. Layefa was already home. I let myself in and slumped on the living room

couch. I didn’t even take my shoes off. I was just sooo tired.

“Dee?” Layefa called coming down the stairs with a towel tied firmly round his

waist. He probably heard me driving in. “Huh?”I muttered sleepily from the couch.

“Where are you naww?” His eyes danced around before he finally spotted me. “Whatchu

doing there? You tired?” he asked walking over to me. He pulled me up gently and

wrapped his arms around me. “I need a driver” I nodded as i nuzzled my head into his

chest. “Awww. Poor thing.” He patted my back and kissed my hair.

He finally got me up to the bedroom.
“So how was your meeting?” Layefa asked as he pulled off my shoes. I hissed. “Can

you believe I couldn’t even make it? I spent the entire evening on the road!” “Ah

ahn. The trafficwasn’t that bad when I left Lagoon oh” “Oh. You guys went to Lagoon

restaurant?” I sat up. “Yeah. Daniel’s always loved it. Saida seemed to be a big fan

of theirs too.” “Huh? What? What does Saida have to do with anything?”, I spat like

her name was venom. Layefa seemed to notice the fire in my eyes. I really did not

like hearing about that Saida chic. He quirked an eyebrow, “I told you she was

coming naww. Daniel met her at my office and seemed really taken with her so he

asked her to join us”. “Hmmnn” I muttered as I headed for the bathroom. “She really

wanted to meet you oh. I think you guy’s will really blend. Daniel too was also

really looking forward to seeing you after all this time.” He followed me. “Mmhm” I

mumbled as I massaged my scrub into my face. I rinsed off the scrub then turned to

face him. “Yeah, Daniel sent me some invite to an album launch party. Didn’t even

know he had my e-mail.” “Oh. I was surprised too when he told me. He said y’all used

to talk way back”. I nodded, “Yeah, way way back. Like during that wedding time. How

is he though? He changed much?” “He’s just the same mehn. Daniel can’t change. If

you see how he was whining Saida!”.

We changed into out PJs and slipped under the covers. “Oh. So he’s liking that one?”

I scoffed. If Layefa was noticing the air of hostility that I put on whenever it

came to Saida, he sure wasn’t acting like it. “You know Daniel naww. He doesn’t

waste time.” “That’s their business abeg. ’Night hon.” I stretched then rested my

head on Layefa’s chest. “Awww. You’re really tired oh. You didn’t even tell me bout

your interview with that photographer dude again” He stroked my hair ten turned out

the lights. “I’ll tell you tomorrow” I mumbled.

“So his maternal grandmother was the only full-fledged Nigerian in his family tree?”

Layefa asked as he sipped his coffee. I had been telling him about Chris Laire ever

since we got up. “Yes! Can you believe that? And his attitude is sooo Nigerian!” I

bit into my croissant. “Standing up every time you got up? Nigerian? Uh…I don’t

think so!” “Oh? So you think that is such a big deal? He’s just a true gentleman!”.

Layefa rolled his eyes and picked up his newspaper. “Alright baby. Whatever.” He

sounded bored. I brushed the edge of his pants with my shoes, “Am I boring you? Have

I been talking way too much?”

twenty-four

2010-01-13T23:55:00.001-08:00

First let me tell you Dafe is. Apart from the fact that he was Mrs.Obie’s Godson and

the director of P.R., Dafe was the cockiest sonuvabitch I had ever met in my entire

life. Poise was generally known for giving young people chances which explain why

we have a lot of twenty-something’s heading our departments. Now back to Dafe: Some

months ago he set up a meeting for both of us at Tea tree. I thought it was

something about work but how wrong I was. He made a lame attempt to bring work in

but i knew was totally hitting on me. He had arranged for us to be the only ones in

the restaurant. The fool even tried to kiss me! If he was being sweet, I would have

at least stayed till the end of the diner and explained gently to him how nothing

and nobody could make me cheat on my husband. But the fool was so arrogant! So he’s

a fine boy? Who cares? He was even on Exquisite Magazine’s list of top 20 bachelors.

Abegi! Layefa was in TNM’s top 25 young and successful men last year, so there! Dafe

talked like he had the keys to Lagos in the palm of his hand. Even when I rose to

leave telling him I was going to meet my husband, he acted all “Well, it’s your

loss”. Since that night, we’ve managed to stay out of each other’s way. Until today,

apparently.

I closed my mouth and stared straight ahead of me. He didn’t deserve even a muffled

hello. I raised my hand to smoothen my hair.

“Don’t worry your hair looks fine” he said with a lopsided grin (I saw from the

corner of my eye). I didn’t even say anything in reply. I just continued humming

along with the music. Just as the doors opened on the 3rd floor, he called out, “See

you around, Delores” and walked out. I hurriedly got out too before the doors shut.

I walked into the head of department’s secretary’s office quickly before I could run

into anyone else.

“Ah! Good evening Mrs. Thompson!” the secretary who I’m sure I wasn’t really older

than greeted rising from her desk. “Good evening! Are you guys done with the

articles?” I asked taking a seat. She looked like they had just been busted. She

started stammering explaining how her boss had everything under control. I chuckled

inside then said, “No pressure, no pressure. The deadline’s not today abi? I was

just passing by.” I swiped one of the free samples of organic lip balm from her

table then headed back upstairs to check on Kiki.

“So??? What happened? What did he say? You guys good?” I interrogated bursting into

my office. Kiki was all smiles typing away on her blackberry. She didn’t even look

up at me, “Huh?” “Kiki! Answer me naww” I pestered. She typed some more then tossed

her silky Indian weave aside. She finally acknowledged me. “What did you say naww? I

just heard a mumble of different sounds”. Look at this mumu girl oh. I laughed.

Everything was probably good with IK now that was why she could be doing me like

this. “Kiki! Stop it! Just tell me!” she smiled, “Okay fine. He said he was sorry

for everything. I said I was sorry for avoiding his messages. He said he missed me.

That we should get together for dinner. Told him I couldn’t then-” “WHAT??? Why

would you say that”, I cut in. “I told you before naww. I have a date with Tobi.”

She replied like I was getting on her nerves.

I raised my hands in surrender and walked round to my side of the desk. i shut down

my computer while Kiki continued with her typing. Ten minutes later, we had packed

up our stuff and were headed home. I headed for the elevator while she headed for

the stairs. As a health rule Kiki always took the stairs. We waved goodbye and I

made a mental note to check out that suspicious Tobi character.

twenty-three

2010-01-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

It was just some invite to an album launch party. “This Daniel sha! He just came back oh. And he’s already sending out invites” “What party?” Kiki asked walking over to my side of the desk. “Oh! Tha kidd! that guy that sang that ‘Me and my baby’ song”. Raising my eyebrows, I’m like “What? Which one is that again?” “Delores! I will so fucking slap you if you tell me you don’t know that song!” “Chill. Is it the one that has Banky W on it?” “Duh! I swear you’re getting old oh. How come you’re getting invited to his album launch sef? I heard he’s like a teenager or something”. I shrugged, “Daniel probably knows the boy’s label executives or something”.
“So what were we saying bout IK now? You gonna call him?” I pestered. I knew I was nagging her but she’s my best friend and I wasn’t going to sit and watch her throw something good away. “Ok fine! Ah! I’ll call him, Delores” Kiki said throwing her hands up in despair as she walked back to her seat across the table from me. “You are? Oya call him now” I picked up her phone from the table and tossed it to her. She rolled her eyes as she caught it. “Don’t worry, I’ll ex as soon as I’m sure he’s picked up” I assured her grinning like a Cheshire cat. I stood behind her and watched her dial the number. He picked up on the fourth ring. She dangled the phone in front of my eyes then mouthed, “See?”. I nodded and mouthed, “I’m ouddie!”. She smiled as I quickly exited my office. I knew Kiki wouldn’t have had a problem with me being there but I just liked to give people their space.
“Bols, what’s crackin’? I said slipping into the visitors’ chair opposite Bola, my assistant. Smiling, she held up a list of names I’d told her to research on and said, “Just this”. Nodding, I said, “Good girl. Carry on!”
I liked Bola a lot. She was the kind of assistant who didn’t make you feel as if you were too demanding even if you were. She was also really efficient at her job. She kinda reminded me of Betty in ‘Ugly betty’ except she was anything but ugly. She was a petite pretty young thing. Though Bola was barely twenty, she had all the experience I needed her to have. Her dad her passed away just before she finished secondary school so her and her sibling had to pick up a few jobs to assist their mom with the bills and all.
“Is that a new bracelet? It’s rather hot oh. Where did you get it?” I asked holding up her wrist for a proper look. From the way she was smiling, I knew someone had given it to her even before she said it. “Oh.This? Thank you! It was a gift.” She stared at her desk bashfully. “Ohhhh. No need to be embarrassed now. At least he has taste” I said with a wink.
I decided to go snoop around the office building and let her get back to her researching. I headed to the beauty department first. Those whores never got tired of drama. I walked to the elevator hoping not to run into any of those chatty colleagues of mine. I couldn’t stand office chit-chat that went further than “Hello. How are you doing? How’s the family? See you around.” But noooo. Some people just had to tell you how their day sucked, how their sister’s boyfriend’s uncle is running for Governor and stuff like that.
Thankfully I made it the elevator without anyone stopping me. I got in and hit the 3rd floor button which was where the beauty department was. I hummed along with the elevator music before it abruptly stopped on the 5th floor. Before I knew it, the doors opened and Dafe Martins walked in. For about five seconds I just stood and stared with my mouth hanging. Like seriously. What were the chances of running into someone you’d expertly managed to avoid for months?!

twenty-two

2010-01-05T12:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe I should have cancelled with Chris instead. “You’re leaving work now? I’m

almost leaving too sha” Layefa said. Maybe there was no need to panic sef. Since it

was jus Layefa, Daniel and I, we could probably have dinner anytime. “Baby, I’m

meeting Chris again this evening oh. I’ll have to put a rain check on dinner with

you guys.” “Oh. Ah ahn. Why cant you guys meet tomorrow?” I felt rather silly that I

didn’t know the answer to that question. Why hadn’t I just suggested we meet

tomorrow? “Uh…I don’t know for the guy oh. I think he has a really busy itinerary.”

“Alright. No wahala. I just hope that guy isn’t having any ideas about you” Layefa

said casually. “Layefa!” I cried. He chuckled, “What? It’s true now. In fact if he

wasn’t having any ideas about you, I’d say he was gay”. I couldn’t believe he was

taking things so easy. I felt so guilty remembering how I’d totally let Chris flirt

with me. I forced a low laugh. “Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about cuz I’d

choose caramel-skinned high-class lawyers over chocolate-skinned high-class

photographers. Any day.” We exchanged mushy, lovey-dovey words for a while before I

caught Kiki rolling her eyes. “See you at home then?” I said as I hung up.

“Y’all are jus funny” Kiki said followed by a sigh. She was probably missing IK.

“How far with IK now?” I asked. “Oh him. He called me yesterday but I was at church

so I couldn’t pick up.” “Call him back now” I said. Shaking her head, “He can like

to call me again if he really wants to talk to me”. Why was Kiki acting so childish?

“Babe, are you trying to really push him away?”. I really couldn’t understand why

girls made a big deal about calling guys back. “Moving on jare. I’m meeting Tobi for

lunch tomorrow again”. She was actually grinning. Kiki was vexing me oh. IK was a

catch! Just because he went through a phase doesn’t mean she had to cut him loose.

If I didn’t have Layefa I’d probably be jealous of what they had. They’d been

together for only a year but I already felt like I knew IK almost as well as I knew

Kiki herself.

“Kiki! Snap out of it! This thing you’re doing with Tobi. Whatever it is, just stop!

It’s obvious IK’s missing you already. Don’t you miss him too?” Even I missed IK. I

couldn’t understand why she didn’t freaking run out of the church building to answer

his call! “Delores, it’s not that easy!” Kiki cried. I hoped she wouldn’t start

tearing up. Just as I rose to comfort her, a window popped up on the corner of my

computer screen: new e-mail from Daniel O. Kiki must have noticed my surprised

expression, “What is it now?” “Just Layefa’s friend e-mailing me”. I clicked on the

link immediately.

***Sorry this one is kinda short guys!****

Twenty-one

2010-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

We spent the next hour and a half stuck in traffic that should normally have taken

us twenty minutes. We took the time to get to know each other more though. I found

out a lot more things about Chris that I hadn’t thought to ask during the interview.

“So you were like all these crazy-stalker-paparazzi types?” I chuckled as he

explained to me how he really got started in photography. During the interview he

just casually said he stumbled upon a couple of wonderful pictures and knew

immediately that that was what he wanted to do. But that wasn’t what really happened!

What happened was: some wanna-be opera star just moved into the apartment building

he was staying during his med. school days. One day he gave her a lift to the opera

house and had to punch some guy who was forcefully trying to take pictures of her.

Later that night when he and his roommate where gisting, he learned that pictures of

the wanna-be would be extremely valuable at a later date when she was some big

Hollywood star. Then came his light bulb moment! Why take pictures of wanna-bes when

you can pictures of actual stars?!

“At first I tried stuff like-” he was saying just before his cell phone rang.

Holding up a finger he said, “One second”. I nodded while he hit the answer key.

“Yeah?”. After a couple of ‘Uh huh’s and ‘yeah’s, he finally ended with “Tonight’s

no good, I’ve got a date”. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Could he be

referring to dinner with me as a date? Or did he have some other girl in mind? So he

has female contacts in Lagos already? A gazillion thoughts sped through my mind.

After he hung up, he turned then smiled at me, “So where were we?. “Huh?!” I jerked

back to reality. It was at that exact moment that I remembered what Layefa had said

about dinner. Something about him, me and Daniel. Dang! I thought. How could I have

forgotten that I made plans with Chris already. I made a mental note to call Layefa

once I got back to the office.

“You ok, Delores?” Chris touched my arm. Jumping, I said, “Huh? Oh. Sure. No

problem. Yeah, you were telling me about your stalker days.” He looked at me for

about a minute as if to make sure I was really alright then continued with his story.

“Ay bay bay!” Kiki said coming into my office. I was so glad to see her. I had been

going over the articles I received from the style department. There were about

twenty different articles and none of them were appealing to me.

“Kiki! U tey oh! Ah ahn! Since morning!” I cried as she slumped into one of my

visitor chairs. She had left since 8 in the morning to meet with a representative of

Tiffany Amber. They were to clothe our models for our October issue.

“So how was it?” we asked at the same time. Chuckling, she said” You go first joh”.

So I told her all about Chris Laire. Ok not all. I kinda skipped the parts where he

was flirting with me. “The funniest part was when he stood every time I stood” I

concluded. “Awww. He’s such a sweerie!” Kiki cooed. “ I know! So how far with the

Tiffany Amber rep now?”. She hissed. “Those ones are just on their own. Na so so

terms and conditions den dey give me.” She explained how they kept her waiting for

over two hours before she was finally ushered into the rep’s office. Then how the

rep made her wait for about another hour while they had an office meeting.

“The bitch finally showed oh. She now started blowing phoneh for me. Me sef I showed

her that I did my masters at Sheffield. The fool!” Kiki was really pissed. She

narrated how the lady gave her a not so brief intro on Tiffany Amber general style

and all. “Ah ahn. Why didn’t you tell her we’ve worked with them before?” I

interjected. “I told her oh. She was like a lot of things have changed in their

designs blah blah blah”. Hmmmn, I thought, I hope those people didn’t mix up our

appointment with some other random magazine. “She gave me these sha” Kiki shoved a

portfolio filled with pictures of T.A’s most recent line across the table to me. I

placed it on top of the pile of style articles then picked up my phone. “They’re

probably correct stuff but I’m still gonna call Folake.

See how her people are treating us like amateurs. Rubbish. Why didn’t they set up

the meeting with one of those people we’ve dealt with before?”. Kiki just shrugged

and slumped further into her chair.

Folake’s number wasn’t going. (yes oh, I’m on first name basis with Folake of

Tiffany Amber). I dropped my phone and slumped in my chair. “I’m so effin tired

mehn”. “It’s not only you oh. How’s uncle?” kiki said. “He’s good oh. I’m supposed

to call him sef!” I sat up and picked up my phone again. “Oh shit” I muttered

glancing at my watch. It was already 5:30! How time flies when you’re working hard,

I was thinking just as Layefa picked up. “Hey Dee” he answered. “Baby…” I started.

Gosh, I hadn’t even thought of what I was going to say.

**~Twenty~*

2010-01-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

Fisrt things first, Happy new year guys!!!
***************************************************************************

He rose to his feet and stretched forth his hand. “Daniel Olotu”, he said with his

famous cocky grin. Taking his hand as slowly as possible, she replied wetting her

lips with her tongue, “Saida Ibrahim”.” “Pleasure.” He replied touching his lips to

the back of her hand.

She flashed him a huge smile as Layefa pulled out a chair for her.

When they had all taken their seats: “So, uh...i’m working with Saida on that

Fashola case I told you about, She’s one of the top executives at the Lagos

Development Bank”. “Wow! Beauty and brains! How do you concentrate, bro?” Daniel

cried. Saida placed a hand on her chest and feigned a blush. Layefa just shrugged

and waved his left hand with his wedding ring on it. (How cuuute). Daniel rolled his

eyes then turned back to Saida. “So where did you go to uni at?” he asked as his

eyes danced around her voluptuous form. “Uh…First degree at Oxford, Second degree at

Harvard” she answered like it was nothing”. Well, for people like Layefa and Daniel who paroled Ivy-Leagues anyhow, it was probably nothing.

“Are you serious? Sweet. I’m a Harvard man myself; first and second degree. You

know, Layefa here did at his Masters at Harvard too”. Daniel said. She nodded then

asked “Are you a lawyer too?”. “Well, yeah. But not right now. At the mo, I’m jus

freelancing. You know, testing the waters” Daniel replied. “Ode”, Layefa muttered.

“Oh. That sounds fun. Testing the waters? So where were you before?”, Saida said

tossing her hair then moving closer to Daniel. “Just some firm in the heart of

Chicago. You know the kind with dreary old partner dudes and over-ambitious young

lawyer types”. Saida nodded then smiled. “So Saida, you got the paperwork?” Layefa

interrupted. Turning towards him, Saida said, “Yeah, of course sweetie”. She reached

into her case and got out a stack of legal documents.

Back at The Meridian Hotel rooftop café:

“Okay. That’s a wrap!” I announced. We had just concluded his interview. “Wow,

you’re pretty good at your job!” Chris said, taking my hand. “Thanks” I said

grinning. “So you wanna head back to the office and discuss the shoot?” I added. “Uh…

not really. We could meet back here later this evening to discuss it if you’d like

but right now I gotta catch some z’s” Chris replied stretching his arms. Stealing a

glance at my watch, I felt so silly suggesting that we head back to the office after

I’d taken almost two hours of his time already. I nodded and said, “No problem.

What time is good for you?”. He thought for a few seconds then said “I guess seven

is alright for me. How bout you? You think seven would be cool for you?”. Without

even thinking about it twice I just said, “Yeah, Sure”.

“I’ll just be a minute” I said rising from my seat. Being the perfect gentlemen that

he is, he stood while I rose. I walked briskly to the washroom hoisting my purse on my arm.

I ran a brush through my hair and touched up my make-up quickly. As I was about to

leave, I thought to call Layefa. He’d been trying to reach me all day.

“Hey Baby!” he picked up on the first ring. “Hey boo!” I replied. “I’m guessing you

just got outta your meeting?” he asked, “I’ve been trying to reach you all day!”.

“Yeah, baby. I know” I replied, “I wanted to call you back but I didn’t want to

keep him waiting”. “No wahala, Dee”, Layefa said, “So what’s the guy like?”.

I told him how Chris was really modest and gentlemanly, how he studied photography

at Paris, how he could speak four languages and was about to tell him bout his

exotic ethnicity when he was like, “Baby chill! It’s like you’re really excited oh.

You’ll tell me the rest at home, k?”. Even though I said “Alright then”, I secretly

hoped I wasn’t over-hyping Chris. “Daniel came by the office today oh. He even met

Saida” Layefa said. “Are you serious? How is he?” I replied deliberately ignoring

his last statement. “He’s good. He was even like we should all go out tonight. You

know, dinner”. Just then I glanced at my watch and I’d been gone from the table for

eighteen minutes. Eighteen whole minutes! “Okay baby. I’ll talk to you later, k?” I

said hurriedly cutting the line just as he said “Love you!”. I texted “Love you

more” to Layefa as I hurried back to join Chris.

“I’m terribly sorry for keeping you waiting” I gushed as I reached the table. “No

problem, no problem” he replied rising from his seat. “I was on the phone…I kinda

lost-” I tried to explain when he shushed me, “Its okay, Delores”. Smiling, I

hoisted up my purse on my arm then said, “So are you ready to leave?”.

nineteen

2009-12-30T12:58:00.000-08:00

After the waiter came and took our orders, we just sorta started talking.

We discussed about food, the weather (cliché? I know!), the view and even music.

“So you like Jay-z a lot, huh?” Chris was saying as our food arrived. I had ordered

the crème brulee while he ordered Oysters. “Thanks” I called to the waiter then,

“Yup!” to Chris. “Yeah? So what else do you like Miss Thompson?” he asked folding

his napkin in his lap. Just as I was about to reply: “Many things”, Layefa pinged

me. I muttered “Excuse me” then hurriedly switched on the Silent mode on my

Blackberry. Seeing Layefa’s bbm picture made me feel terribly guilty. I had

completely forgotten about him once Chris walked into my office. I didn’t even reply

his last message (that I didn’t even know he sent!):

Is the dude there yet? Don’t worry now, hez probly stuck in traffic. Let me know

when he arrives sha so I won’t bother u guys. K?

I slipped my blackberry back into my bag, took a deep breath then said, “Well…um…you

know, it’s actually Mrs.Thompson”. I felt two feet tall immediately those words left

my mouth. I caught his eyes checking out my left hand just before he cried, “Oh, my

bad! I wonder how I missed that!”, “So what else do you like Mrs.Thompson?” He

really emphasized the ‘Mrs’. I smiled. “I like a lot of things”, I smoothened the

tablecloth with my hands, “You should call me Delores, though”.

At Layefa’s office…

“Mr.Olaoye is here, sir” Claire said over the intercom. “Are you serious?! Let him

in fast!” Layefa replied jumping from his seat. He hadn’t seen Daniel in a while and

he was pretty excited to see one of his best buddies.

“Bad guy!!! Warrit doooo?!! Ah ahn! Who dash you suit?” Layefa cried as Daniel

entered his office. They did that handshake with a slap on the back thing that guys

do before they finally broke into a hug (fronting too plenty!)

“Fuck you man! You know you’re digging it” Daniel joked straightening his suit.

He had never really been the suit-wearing guy so Layefa was pretty shocked to see

him all decked in a Gucci suit and T.M. shirt.

“Sit down, man” Layefa said, “On the real though, what’s with the suit? Where’re you

headed?”. “Wetin? Shey person no fit dress up again?”, Daniel replied pulling out a
chair.

“I’m meeting some hottie I met yesterday for lunch”. Nodding, Layefa rose to make

drinks for them. “You still drink Campari with iced tea abi?” he asked squatting to

open his mini fridge at the corner of the wall. “Yes oh. But dawg, seriously man,

you’re ballin’! corner office and all. Mr. T must be real proud” Daniel said. “Na so

we see am oh” Layefa replied mixing the drinks.

“Mr.Thompson? Miss.Ibrahim’s here” Claire said over the intercom. “Oh? Let her in

please” Layefa replied. Then to Daniel, “Brace yourself, homie”. Sitting up in his

chair, Daniel straightened his jacket and crossed his legs in a total George Clooney

fashion.

“Layefa dear!” Saida cried bursting into the room. She was wearing a grey pin-

striped low-cut pencil dress. “Saida! Hey!!” Layefa replied rising from his seat and

walking towards her. “C’mon gimme a hug” she said pulling him into an embrace. After

about ten long seconds, she finally let Layefa go.

“Oh hello” she said shoving Layefa aside once she glimpsed Daniel

eighteen

2009-12-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

Its not like I didn’t know any chic outdoor restaurants in Lagos, it’s just that I

was so desperate to make an excellent impression. I could easily have suggested the

Lagoon restaurant or the Sky lounge but then I thought if me and Layefa eat there

often and we’re not even celebs, why should an international award-winning

photographer eat there?

I hurriedly googled ‘Classiest outdoor restaurants on the Lagos Island’. At the top

of the list were: The Oyster Lounge, Yellow Chilli Bar and Lounge and The Meridian

Hotel rooftop Café. The closest to us was the Meridian Hotel rooftop Café.

“Well, let’s get on our way!” I announced after I had saved their telephone number

on my cell phone. He got up, picked up his bag and headed for the door. I quickly

slipped my laptop into my case, grabbed my purse and cell phone and headed for the

door too.( and yeah, Chris took my case from me and held the door for me! charming much?)

“We’ll be at this address” I said to Bola scribbling the address of the Meridian

Hotel rooftop Café on a notepad. She nodded and called, “Bye!” as we headed for the

elevator.

“So you ever been to this restaurant we’re going?” Chris asked as the driver pulled

into the turning where the restaurant was. I shook my head and said, “There’s

nothing to worry about though, it has one of the best reviews ever written”. He

nodded and turned back to the window. About six minutes later, we drove into the

hotel premises.

“Impressive” Chris said. I smiled and nodded. He got out of the car quickly and held

my door open while I got out. I smiled “Thanks”. He bowed his head as we walked

towards the entrance. For a world-class photographer, Chris was rather modest (if I

do say so myself). The concierge ushered us to the executive elevator after I

flashed my card and introduced myself with a flawless British accent. Grinning to

myself, I squeezed a N500 note into his hands as he left us. Chris remained quiet

all through the ride to the roof.

After we had settled in at our table, I unpacked my laptop while Chris marvelled at

the wonderful scenery. Even I had no idea how beautiful and green Lagos was from up

high. You could hardly see any razz looking parts of the city from up there.

“The view of your city from up here is quite exquisite, Miss Thompson” Chris said

turning back to me. “You know, I was just gonna ask you what you thought”, I

replied, “But I didn’t want to interrupt you thoughts, you looked really engulfed by

the view”. “I did? I guess I was imagining how lovely pictures taken from here would

be”. He said sipping his wine. I nodded then said, “Well, thanks on behalf of all

Lagos indigenes”. I pushed my laptop as far away from me as possible then took my

first sip of my drink.

“You like the wine?” Chris asked looking deep into my eyes. I almost felt like he

could see through to my soul. I held his gaze for half a second then shrugged, “I

guess its okay”. Smirking, he took another sip and leaned in closer to the table

(never once taking his eyes off me). That was when I thought, Okay, he’s definitely

flirting with me.

seventeen

2009-12-25T23:14:00.000-08:00

“Good morning, Mr.Laire”, I said in my most professional voice, “Please sit”. I

gestured towards the visitor’s chair. “Morning. Ms.Thompson is it? Thank you.” He

said taking his seat. I could have corrected him but I just didn’t think it was

relevant. I took my seat opposite him.

“Is that an Alexander McQueen?” He asked gesturing towards my skirt suit. The guy

was good oh. It was an Alexander McQueen. The only one I had. “This?” I asked

stroking my lapel, “Oh.Yes, it is. Fall collection 08” I said confidently. Don’t

try me mehn. Big babe like me. He nodded impressively as he set his laptop bag on

the floor beside him.

“I hope your trip wasn’t too stressful” I said. “Well, I’m not one to complain.

Lagos is quite refreshing compared to what I expected so…” he replied. “Oh, it’s

your first time? Forgive my manners! Welcome!” I said with a toothpaste commercial

smile. He smiled and said, “Why, thank you”. His mouth was so heavenly. He had

perfectly shaped white teeth and lips like Trey Songz (I swear!). I was so engulfed

in his face that I sorta just stared at him for about a minute. “So Mr.Laire…” I

began. “It’s Chris” he interjected. “Okay. So Chris, how do you like your coffee? Or

perhaps tea?” I said. Mrs.Obie would be sooo proud. “Oh. I’m good. Thank you. I’m

not much of a tea or coffee person”, he replied. My mouth shaped into an ‘O’. I made

a mental note to berate Bola for not finding that out. We had researched all we

could about him; his favourite food, how he liked to relax, his pet peeves, his

numerous ex-girlfriends, his clients. But we didn’t find anything about how he liked

his tea or coffee.

“I guess we should begin then” I said switching back to my professional voice.

“Sure” he said sitting up. I handed him all the legal papers. After he had gone over

them, he nodded and slipped them into his bag. “So what do you want to do first?

The interview? The briefing?” I asked. The goal was to make him feel at ease.

I noticed he wasn’t listening anymore. He was just staring straight at me. “Mr.

Laire?” I called. I knew he said to call him Chris but I didn’t want to seem

familiar too quickly.

“Oh forgive me”, he said, “You have such lovely eyes, I guess I was carried away”.

Mehn I blushed tire then said, “Thank you”. “So you were saying?” he asked. I

repeated my question. “I was thinking maybe we could have lunch, somewhere open, you

know look around. We could even have the interview over lunch.” He replied.

I felt so stupid that I hadn’t thought of that. For crying out loud, he was a

freaking photographer! Why on earth would I think he’d like an interview in the

privacy of my office?! Smiling I said, “Sure! I was thinking that but then I thought

you might prefer the cozy indoors”. He said, “I’m an outdoors man any day! So do

you have any places in mind?”. “One second” I said quickly turning to my laptop.

sixteen

2009-11-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

Stepping out of a black 2009 Camry in a black wrap dress and yellow Manolos (you

heard me, yellow!) was Elohor! What the hell was she doing here? At this time?

She hurriedly crossed the street and slipped into our compound. “Is that Elohor?”

Layefa said driving in. Duh! Climbing out of the car, we walked towards the gate

where she was standing. “Elohor! What are you doing here?” Layefa asked hugging his

sister. “Hello Elohor”, I said quietly. “I was in the neighbourhood oh. I was just

like lemme check on my baby brother.” She replied tossing her hair. In the

neighbourhood, my ass! I’m sure the busybody came to check on us. She probably

noticed something was amiss between Layefa and me yesterday. “Oh, really” Layefa

said as we all headed for the front door, “We’re just on our way back from church.”.

She nodded.

Once we entered, I headed straight to the kitchen. I couldn’t risk Elohor

questioning my hosting skills. I set three glasses and a jug of apple juice on a

tray and carried it to the living room where Layefa and Elohor were sitting. “Here

you go” I said offering her a glass. “What is it?” she asked looking up at me. What

did it look like, Ode? I said in my mind. “It’s apple juice. It’s from M&S.” I

replied. Shaking her head she aid, “Eww. Please take it away. I don’t like apple

juice”. I set the glass down and didn’t even offer her anything else. I sat beside

Layefa on the two-seater couch. They talked about irrelevant nonsense for a while

before she finally said, “I’d better get going”. Stealing a glance at my watch, I

realised how time had passed. It was 9:30.

“Say hello to Emeka and the girls” I said as we walked her to her car. “Sure, I

will.” She said hitting the button on her keys to unlock her car. Just as she was

about to slip into her seat, she came back out and asked, “So is this the hair

y’all were in a hurry to go do?”. With a smirk she slipped back into her car and

revved her engine. I couldn’t believe my ears! Did she actually just diss my 5

grand haircut? She waved at us as she drove off. I turned to Layefa and he just

shrugged (as usual).
************************************************************************

“Bola, please call him again” I said to my assistant over the intercom. “Right away”

she replied. Chris Laire was really getting on my nerves. Who the hell did he think

he was anyway? I wasn’t going to give him the chance to cancel our appointment

again. Ah ahn, ki lo de? (Ah ahn, what is it?) I thought hissing. It was almost noon

and we still hadn’t heard from him.

As I was pacing about my office, Bola beeped me. “Did you get him?” I asked. “He’s

here!” she replied excitedly. “Huh? Here?” I asked. “Yes!” she confirmed. “Okay.

after exactly two minutes usher him in.” I replied. I smoothened my hair, hurriedly

re-arranged my desk and walked over to the door.

He knocked. I waited for about ten seconds then I opened the door. Lets just say, he

was beyond my expectations. Wayyy beyond.

Dang! There he was, six foot and a few inches tall, dark, rocking a fitted grey suit

with his Tyson Beckford frame. But trust homegirl now, I had to get over myself

fast. I quickly smiled and ushered him in.

fifteen

2009-11-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

“You got your bible?” Layefa asked as he turned the key in the ignition. I nodded and he drove out. I turned on the car stereo and inserted my Lady Gaga CD. We sang along with the songs we knew but skipped the rest. I wore my jewellery and hurriedly applied my make-up.

“We’re late, shey?” Layefa asked as we approached the church building. “Not really sha” I replied unbuckling my seatbelt and stealing a glance at watch. It was just 6:07. Layefa quickly parked the car and we got out. We walked briskly hand in hand into the church. I waved at one of the ushers I was familiar with before we took our seats at one of the middle pews.

In the middle of the service while Pastor Tapu was preaching, Layefa tapped my thigh then whispered in my ear, “Have I told bout Saida at all?” I shook my head and gestured that I was tryna pay attention to the Gospel. “Sorry oh” he said pulling away. My baby could be so dense at times. Why would he pick the middle of the Gospel to tell me about some rude lady-friend of his? I wasn’t jealous sha so I poked him playfully in the ribs with my pen and said, “You should listen too”.

************************************************************************
“Girl you gon’ think, girl you gon’ think…” Layefa sang along with Trey Songz on the radio as we drove back home. “That Trey dude is rather hot oh” I said playing with his fingers. “He is?” Layefa asked. “Yes oh.He’s like the hottest thing on MTV right now. Seriously. You need to hear how Kiki’s younger sister was going on about him the last time I was at their house!” I said. “What is so special bout him sef? Those razz tattoos? Na wa oh! Girls!” Layefa said. Then we started arguing about the tattoos in question. In the middle of our argument whether trey’s tattoos were razz or cool, Saida called again.

“Hey Saida”, Layefa answered. “I’m all right. How bout you?” he said after she’d probably asked him how he was. “Is that right?” he said trying to choke back laughter. “You’re not serious Saida!” “I don’t know about that oh” “Where are you by the way? It’s rather noisy” “Me? Uh…that lekki road oh. Just passed Chicken Republic.” “I’m on my way home from church” “Yeah.Evening service”. “It’s inside phase 1.Yeah” “Really? Eeyahh.” “Like in about fifteen minutes”. He laughed out loud then, “Sure. All right then.” He laughed again then, “Okay, no problem. Later!” He hung up.

The babe must have been funnier than Chris rock cuz Layefa was still chuckling after he hung up. “Ehen! You said I haven’t told you about Saida?” he said turning towards me. “You’ve not told me oh”, I said, “Abeg eyes on the road oh” I added. Turning back to the road he said, “She works with the Lagos Development Bank. They’re partnering with us for this Fashola case”. I nodded. “She’s only twenty-eight but she’s one of the oga’s in the legal department. She’s so fucking smart! She even got a first class from Oxford!” he continued excitedly. “Wow. She sounds real smart. When did y’all pair up?” I threw in before he could sing the bitch anymore praises. “Just this Friday oh. But she’s like so friendly so once we exchanged numbers and email addresses, we just started flowing. Cant believe it skipped my mind to tell you.” Layefa replied. “Oh. I bet she is. She’s kinda pretty too” I said looking up at Layefa. He looked at me weirdly. That’s right buster! I saw her picture with half her breastices out, I said in my mind. “You saw the picture? Well, I guess she’s all right. Just there. You know how these Janded girls are now, when they get your number, they get your caller picture with it. I decided to get hers too. Just for fun, you know” he said as he drove into vgc. I was going to say “Layefa, that girl was not ‘Just there’ and you know it” but instead I said, “Uh huh”.
Just as Layefa pulled up in front of the house, you wouldn’t believe what I saw coming out from the car parked across the street.

fourteen

2009-11-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

Drying my hands on my towel, I said, “Who is it?” “Some Tunde guy” Layefa replied handing me the phone. “Tunde?” I asked. The only Tunde that came to mind there and then was Tunde from accounting. I didn’t even know he had my phone number. “Delores, how are you?” he replied. Hearing the cheerful voice, I knew it was definitely Tunde Ojo. “Hi Tunde! I’m good oh. How u dey?” I said. “I jus dey oh. Just thought to check on you” he replied. “Awww. How sweet of you”. I said. “Yeah. That and I just heard some mother call her daughter Delores. As in I was so shocked that people actually still name their kids Delores” Tunde continued. “You’re not serious oh. What are you trying to say? That Delores is a yamayama name?” I joked. He laughed, then said “At all oh...don’t mind me joh. How is your husband?” “He is very well, thank you. How are your sister and her family?” I said. “They are all good, thanks to God. It was really nice talking to you today, Delores,” he replied. “Yeah, you too, Tunde. See you tomorrow?” I said. “Yeah, have a lovely day,” he replied. We hung up. I looked at Layefa. He had this ‘I’m-not-even-gonna-ask look. The last time we talked about Tunde, I was complaining about how his constant cheerfulness irritated me. I just shrugged and threw the phone back on the bed. As I headed to the closet to pick out an outfit, Layefa said, “It’s like I’m going to shower oh”. “Better be fast sha…”, I started to say when I saw the clock. “it’s four-thirty!”. The service started at six sharp so we had to leave the house by five or be late.
I picked out one of my favourite Ankara dresses and placed it on the bed. Just as I was picking shoes, Layefa’s phone rang. “Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire…” his phone blared. It took me about a twenty seconds to find it under the pillow.
It was some Saida chic. He even had her picture saved with her number. “Layefa! Phone!” I yelled opening the bathroom door. “Huh?” he asked.
I decided to just pick up. “Hello?” I said. “Sweetie…” a sultry female voice with a thick mixture of British and Hausa accent replied. I almost said “Sweetie? Bitch you must have the wrong number!” but my momma taught me better than that. And really, what was the big deal in a lady calling Layefa. I mean he was totally cool when he picked up Tunde’s call. Right?
Clearing my throat I said, “Uh…Layefa’s in the bathroom right now. He’ll call you back, ok?”. I can swear I heard her mutter, “Damn! I can imagine!”. But then she said, “Oh. Alright then.” She replied and hung up immediately. No thank you? Did I sound like a fucking receptionist? Hissing, I slipped on my dress and shoes.
“Dee, what were were you saying?” Layefa said coming out of the bathroom. “you had
a phone call,” I said, “Saida”. His mouth formed an ‘O’ as he hurriedly threw a shirt on. It was five minutes to five. We were practically late already.
“You picked up? What did she say?” he asked. “Oh. Nothing. Told her you’ll call her back”, I replied. He nodded just as he zipped up his trousers. “You ready?” he asked gesturing towards the clock. I grabbed my jewellery and make-up purse, stuffed them in my bag and said, “Yep, meet ya downstairs!” if he wasn’t going to talk about the Saida babe, why should I?

thirteen

2009-11-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

“You like?” I said twirling in front of Layefa. I had just gotten back from the salon. Got my hair did finally. I couldn’t believe my natural hair could look so fab!
“Sexy,Sexy,and Sexy!” he cried excitedly.
We had stayed in all morning. I made one skenzy Mexican breakfast like this. Damn! It sure was yummy, if I do say so myself. I made a joke that Mexican food was so sexy, we should probably name one of our kids a Mexican name. We both laughed and started suggesting funny Mexican names. I hoped Layefa took the joke to mean that I took the previous night’s conversation seriously. I’m not saying my feelings about having kids changed overnight; I’m just saying I now have a more open mind.
“Why, thank you, Hun!” I said planting a kiss on his cheek, “Missed ya”. “Me too” he replied circling his hands around my waist. We had been al close and tight since last night. Layefa planted soft kisses on my lips as we stood locked in a tight embrace. I woulda loved for us to continue an all but I didn’t want to mess my hair up barely thirty minutes after getting it done.
“So, you wanna get ready for church?” I asked pulling away. “Aw,c’mon, we’ve got like two more hours to get ready”, Layefa said pulling me back. A smile escaped my lips. Abi this one thinks I’m ready to start trying for kids right now? “I need a shower, babe” I said. Feigning a sulk, he let go of my hands. Blowing him an apologetic kiss, I headed upstairs. I always showered after getting my hair done. All the hairspray and hair strands all over my back just got on my nerves. I turned on the heat while I undressed.
“♫You’re just like poison, slowly moving through my system…breaking all my defenses with time…you’re just like poison, and I just don’t get it how can something so deadly feel so right…♫.” I sang using my hair brush as a microphone.
“Ah ahn! E no easy oh…even Beyonce couldn’t have sung that better!” Layefa said slipping into the bedroom. Grinning, I threw the brush at him playfully. “Be psyching me oh”. He caught it and threw it back at me grinning too. “Ah, Dee, lemme tell you one crazy ass gist I heard today” Layefa said falling on the bed. “Tell me while I shower. I’ll leave the bathroom door open” I replied trying to fit my hair into a shower cap. There was no way my sexy hair would get wet. On the first day too.
I managed to get all my hair in then I climbed into the shower. “Oya start” I called to Layefa. “Ok. So Daniel called me today. He’s in real deep shit mehn” He started. He moved closer to the bathroom so I could hear him better. “So back in Chicago he was seeing this Indian chic. You know how those Indian babes are naww. Too good to be true and all”, He continued. “They aint got nothin’ on ya sha” he quickly added. “You got that right” I called from the bathroom. “Anyways, they had been seeing each other randomly for about a month when Daniel knocked her up” Layefa said. “Ahhh.Shettt.” I said. “That’s not even the crazy part oh. You know how religious and shit them Indians are? The babe was now trying to get him to marry her!” Layefa said. I chuckled at the thought. That was the sorta thing a Nigerian would be accused of doing not the other way around. He told me all about how the babe actually confessed that she stopped taking her pill on purpose. That she loved him and didn’t want to lose him blah blah blah. She even tried to bribe him with American citizenship. Layefa and I laughed so hard at that: An Indian trying to entice a fellow Immigrant with American citizenship. According to the babe, she was already processing her green card.
“Some girls are just crazy!” I said coming out of the bathroom. “I swear mehn” Layefa muttered. “So what’s Daniel gonna do?” I asked while I dried myself. “You mean what has he already done? My boy fled home strrraaiight!” Layefa answered checking himself out in the mirror. “You think I should shower too?” he asked. I shrugged heading back to the bathroom for my lotions.
“Feel it coming in the air…” my ring tone blared. “Baby! Please get my phone! My hands are wet!” I yelled. “Hello? Delores’ phone” I heard him say. “Who are you?” he sounded irritated. Who could it be? I thought poking my head out of the bathroom.

twelve.

2009-11-13T13:11:00.001-08:00

After we had both changed out of our outfits, I headed for the kitchen to fix us drinks. I’m not much of a drinker so I mixed three quarters of sprite with a quarter of red wine. I called it Red Spriza. I carried the glasses to the living room where Layefa was sitting. “Thanks, baby” he said taking his drink. “So, uh…well, it seems like you have really good taste in baby things” I said searching for words. Ever since he told me, my mind had been wandering non-stop. I was thinking a gazillion thoughts at once. Did he really want kids? Was that why he’d been acting weird? Was he even telling the truth? Could he have constructed the story on the way home? Did I have any reason to be skeptic? Since when did Layefa find it hard to talk to me? I tried my best to control the whirlwind of thoughts though.
“I guess. But baby, shey you know there’s no pressure. Really, this is up to you. I just thought we should talk about it cuz we haven’t in a while and our minds may have changed since the last time we had this whole kids or no kids talk” he replied. I sipped my drink and nodded. I didn’t really have much to say. My mind surely hadn’t changed. That’s not to say I couldn’t try to change it though.
“There’s something else.” Layefa said placing his drink on the table. He rubbed his palms together, took a deep breath then looked up at me. The expression on my face was: what the hell is it this time, Layefa? I was really getting tired of listening to explanations.
“Remember when I said mom hadn’t gotten the results of her check-up exam?” he started. I nodded then he said, “Well, they found a lump in her right breast”. I didn’t even know when I jumped out of my seat. “OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! JESUS!” I cried throwing myself at Layefa. But she seemed so healthy, I thought. No wonder she couldn’t make the get-to-together!
“Chill, Dee”, Layefa tried to calm me, “It wasn’t malignant!” I wasn’t even listening to him anymore. I just couldn’t believe the deadly C had caught someone in our family. I started sobbing on his shoulder when he shook me and said louder, “Dee, it wasn’t malignant!” “Oh” I said straightening up. “It really scared her though. She called me at work and we spoke for almost an hour talking about ‘what-ifs’. She was trying really hard not to bring up the topic of us not having kids and I could tell. I don’t know, Dee. I mean, if we could just do it for her…” he broke off into silence.
Shit. Which kain thing be this now? I stared at the floor unsure of what to say. Before I could even sigh, my message tone blared. Saved by the bell, shey?
I quickly rushed to get my phone from the table where I’d left it. You wouldn’t believe who it was- Mrs.Obie! On a freaking Saturday too!

Good evening, Delores. Sorry to bother you during the weekend. Mr.Laire just confirmed the rescheduling of his appointment. You will be meeting with him at 10 on Monday.

Whatever, I thought. I walked over to where Layefa sat on the couch. Taking his hand, I said, “Baby, we’ll work it out”. He nodded.

“What about your hair?” Layefa asked me. We had been watching the E! THS of the Kardashians for like the hundredth time! “I’ll go tomorrow”, I said, “I’m not even getting up from where I am right now for anything”. “Ok oh” he replied tickling my sides. Giggling I cried, “Stop! C’mon, stop!” I totally love making up with Layefa. We stayed cuddled in front of the TV all night.
When it was past two in the morning and we still hadn’t gone to bed, Layefa said, “Babes, it’s like we’re stabbing church today again”. “Let’s go for the evening service”, I replied, “I’ll get my hair done in the morning”.

eleven

2009-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

“Funmi?” I said as she picked up on the fourth ring. “Dee, how far now?” Funmi answered, “Where are you?”. “I’m in the bathroom at my in-laws house oh. It wasn’t an emergency after all. Thanks for worrying jare.” I replied. “No wahala. I even told Kiki to call you too. Did she?” Funmi said. “Yeah, Just now”, I said checking out my hair in the mirror. I guess it did look kinda hot the way it was. After we hung up, I adjusted my dress, stuck my purse under my arm and left the bathroom.
Everyone had moved into the living room. They were on a conference call with Mrs. Thompson who was in England, Sarah (Layefa’s oldest sister who lived in Canada) and Novo (Layefa’s oldest brother who lived in Texas). Yes oh, technology has advanced like that. Layefa signaled to me to come say hello.
“You guys, Delores is here now” Layefa said into the speaker phone. I said hello to everyone real quick then they got back to suggesting baby names. It was some long ass call mehn. After forty-three minutes, Mr. Thompson decided it was time for everyone to say their goodbyes. “You all have cell phones, you can call them later” he said.
Layefa made a big show of checking his watch for the time before he announced, “Delores and I have to leave oh. We both have hair appointments to get to. Man, how time flies!”. Everyone including me just looked at him like he was crazy. We both had hair appointments? That was the lamest excuse I ever heard for leaving a family gathering.
I quickly looked away before anyone noticed my surprised look.
We hugged everyone goodbye then headed to the car. “Thanks again!” Tejiri and Kome called as they waved us goodbye.

“Aaahh” I yawned stretching once I had strapped in my seatbelt. “What a day, shey?” Layefa said reversing into the street. “Uh huh” I muttered. We drove in silence for a while before I hit the stereo button. Layefa reached for my hand as I was about to pull away and said, “You know I’m sorry, right?”. “What exactly are you sorry for, Layefa? Why do you even have to be-” I was saying before he shushed me. “Baby, lets get home, please?” he begged. Hmmmn, this one that he has been saying we should get home first, I hope this isn’t one of those I-think-you-should-sit-fist situations, I thought.
“Whatever” I said brushing his hand away and turning towards the window. “I just thought I should let you know I’m sorry for whatever this is”. Layefa said turning his attention back to the road. We were silent again. Even when Empire State of Mind(Our jam) came on, we were still fronting. Thankfully, the usually crazy lekki traffic was minimal.
Just as we were driving into v.g.c, I lost it. I couldn’t wait anymore. My mind had been racing for almost forty-five minutes. Even though I knew we were practically three minutes from the house, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Pull over,Layefa.Now!” I said firmly. He must have known I wasn’t playing cuz he did just that mehn. He didn’t even argue, he just parked at the side of the road .”Please just tell me whatever you want to say”, I said almost crying, “Abeg I can’t chill again, Layefa, seriously.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to face him.
“Fine.” He replied unbuckling his seatbelt and facing me too. He told me how he’d known about Tejiri being pregnant ever since but he’d been working really hard to ensure I didn’t find out.
“Why on earth would you do that?” I cried. For some strange reason, I thought there and then I was gonna find out that the baby was his or something crazy stupid like that. Fortunately, Layefa didn’t say anything like that. He said that he’d been considering how to bring up the topic of us trying to have kids just before Tejiri told him about her pregnancy. He said he was waiting for the right time to tell me about having our own kids and he thought he’d tell me together with Tejiri’s news. The Fashola case kept him occupied so he didn’t have enough free time to compose how he’d bring it up. When the time for the baby shower came, he ordered all the cute stuff Tejiri kept thanking us for, online and sent them to her. “I deleted the invitation she sent to your mailbox and replied it telling her you were swamped with work but would send your gifts” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. I didn’t even know what to ask first. I just stared open-mouthed at him. “Close your mouth, Dee” he said startling me. My mind wasn’t even there at all. I couldn’t believe all this time Layefa wanted a child but couldn’t tell me.
“Let’s go home” I finally said.

ten

2009-11-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

yay!!! the tenth episode! i fell so good zbout that. thank you to everyone that has indulged in my juvenile writing. its not so poloshed, i know. thanks for reading anyway. remember to have at the back of your mid that delores voice is the voice over narrating just like everybody hates chris or gossip girl.x
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I ran my hands over my dress over and over again in my state of confusion. Layefa is a fish mehn. Why on earth should he put me in this position, I thought. Was I supposed to act like I was just hearing about the baby? Or should I make up some lame excuse for not calling earlier? Better yet, I should-.

“Delores darling! How are you? Thanks again for everything!” Tejiri said as she reached my side. Felicia had collected the baby from her hands. My confusion accelerated by 100 just then mehn. What the hell was Tejiri on about? I didn’t detect sarcasm in her voice, though so I didn’t wrinkle my face or anything.
Pasting on that Julia Roberts smile again, I stood up and motioned for her to hug me. “Tejiri, you look great! So does the lovely princess!” I replied. “We thank God oh”, “Kome hon, come and thank Delores” she said to Kome who was greeting Timi and Elohor. Immediately, he turned towards me and motioned for a hug. I hope my face didn’t let them know what I was thinking which was ‘Huh? Waris all this thanks about?’
“Thank you so much. We really appreciate everything. Tejiri is especially in love with those lovely blankets. You have really good taste oh, Delores” Kome said. I just grinned not sure what else to do. “Oh, so it was Delores that got you guys those lovely baby things?” Felicia asked. Tejiri nodded and said, “I told you now. She practically got us everything in the nursery. They’re adorable right?”. “But she wasn’t at the baby shower so….?” That fat bitch Elohor was saying as Layefa and Emeka walked in.

“Baby sis! OMG! You look rather skenzy for a mom oh”, Layefa said as he lifted Tejiri off the ground. They were so touching, I almost cried. Almost. But seriously though, watching Layefa with his siblings made me jealous. If you saw how they chat on msn, you’d think they were more than brother and sister sef. They talked about everything!

“My man! How far now? The freshest daddy on the block, eh?” Emeka greeted Kome. They did that shake guys do that they now slap themselves on the back.
Thinking about it, Kome and Tejiri were rather young to start a family. What is it with Nigerians and starting families right after marriage? The girl was barely 22! She only just graduated from uni last year! Na wa oh, I thought.

After all the greetings and oohing and aahing over the baby, we all sat down to gist and talk about random things. “So you guys thought of any baby names?” I asked Kome who was now sitting by my side. “Ah, about that. Tj already had names for all our future children even before the wedding!” he replied. We all laughed. This time I didn’t even have to fake it. “Yes now. Rainbow, Gucci and Paris!” Tj said proudly as she gulped her juice. This time we laughed even harder. Those two were bare jokes, I tell ya.
“She’s serious oh. She’s been saying that ever since forever” Layefa added. We shook our heads in amusement.
“So Kome’s cool with them? Gucci? What the hell, Tj?” Elohor said biting into a piece of fried chicken Another thing about all these Thompson family get-togethers is the scrumptious food. Mrs. Thompson sure knew how to select her house staff.

Shrugging, Kome said, “Anything for my baby”. He blew Tejiri an air-kiss. She feigned catching it in her hands then blew him one back. Cuuuttee. Layefa smiled and looked over at me. I smiled back at him and quickly looked away. I didn’t have his time right now.

If those Elohor’s bratty kids were here they’d have probably said something like, “I guess it’s just Aunt Delores that’s left now” or “What names would you name your kids, Aunt Delores?” I wondered how they acted with their parents.

Timi started a discussion about how hard it is to raise children nowadays with the cost of education sky-rocketing and all. We all engaged ourselves in the discussion, arguing whether it was worth it to clear your bank account for a child whose future you’re not even sure about. Layefa and I were careful not to say much though. With someone like Elohor at the table, if we just mistakenly said something that didn’t favour anyone, she could just say “It’s not like you know anyway, wait ill you have your own kids first”.

“Abeg someone should call that Alice girl oh” Emeka said, “We need a refill of this jug and more chicken”. “I’ll go get them” I offered a little too quickly. Don’t blame me abeg. Would you choose to sit at a table where everyone was talking about the latest YSL hat collection and you weren’t the least bit interested in hats? I think not! I was glad for an excuse to get away for a moment. Don’t go thinking all the talk about kids was making me uneasy or sad oh. I was just dulled.

“I’ll help you” Layefa said jumping up. He followed me into the house, into the kitchen. When I had told Alice what to do, I whispered, “I didn’t need any help!” “Don’t be like this, Dee”, “Told ya we would iron everything out at home” he replied with an apologetic smile. “Uh huh” I said, “Ehen, What is all this about me buying stuff for the baby? At least tell me something now incase decides to interrogate my life”. He quickly filled me in on all the stuff he sent to Tj and Kome as me while Alice re-filled the jug and served more fried chicken on the tray.

“Here you go” I said, pouring juice into Emeka’s glass. Layefa passed the chicken round. “Thanks sweetie.” Emeka replied. I smiled sweetly at him. He was such a darling compared to his wife. One time, I ran into him during a rainstorm when my car was stuck at the palms and he drove me all the way home to get a change of clothes and back to the office. Sweet guy.

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nine.

2009-11-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

I just stared at him. I wasn’t even annoyed that he made me forfeit my hair appointment, I was mad that he didn’t even tell me Tejiri was expecting a baby! I know I’ve never been close to any of Layefa’s siblings but that doesn’t change the fact that he should have told me. I wondered what she thinks of me now. She’ll most likely think I was too jealous to congratulate her. I hissed.
“You know I didn’t know she was even pregnant” I said looking out the window. Calmness is the way forward, I warned myself silently. Raising your voice wouldn’t make things any better, Delores, I told myself.

“We should talk about this when we get home” Layefa said just as he turned into the driveway of his parents’ house. Taking a deep breath, I turned off the car stereo and continued to stare out the window. What reason in the world could Layefa probably have for not telling me about Tejiri? All this bickering between us was getting rather old.
My cell phone beeped in my purse. It was Funmi checking up on me. I wasn’t in the mood to talk right then so I hit the ignore key. I made a mental note to call her back later.

“Ah Oga! Welcome! Welcome! Good afternoon oh” The gateman greeted Layefa as he parked. “Good afternoon, Mohammed” Layefa replied as he turned round to open my door for me. I got out and muffled “Thanks” while brushing past him. I didn’t even acknowledge Mohammed’s greeting. I stuck my clutch under my arm and marched to the front door with an emotionless face.
“Dee, you need to chill. Please. Especially while we’re here.” Layefa whispered softly as he caught with me. “Fine”, I said pursing my lips while he took my arm in his. We pressed the doorbell.
The thing with Layefa’s family is that underneath all their pretentiousness, they’re actually all right people. They may put up a performance worthy of an Emmy trying to convince everyone they were perfect but it didn’t necessarily make them bad people. Like today for example, Layefa probably thought his new Salvatore Ferragamo shoes would distract his family from the coldness between us. The sonuvabitch! He knew he was gonna upset me! , I thought as the maid came to the door. She curtsied and ushered us into the living room. “Thank you, Alice” Layefa smiled. Ode. He must think he gets some prize for remembering all the domestic staff’s names.
“Daddy!” I cried pasting my bestest Julia Roberts smile on. I rushed to hug him as he rose to greet us. “My dear Delores, how are you?” Mr. Thompson replied hugging me. “I’m very well, sir. How are you?” I said as we pulled apart. Layefa was probably too shocked for words because he just stood there watching us. After we had asked about work and my parents, we finally remembered someone else was in the room. “Good afternoon, dad” Layefa said, “Where’s everyone?” “Afternoon, Layefa. They’re out on the patio. Emeka just left for the bathroom, though. We’ve been talking.” Mr. Thompson replied. “Oh. Okay. Let me say hello to them then I’ll come join you guys in here.”Layefa said taking my hand.
We headed for the patio hand in hand like giddy teenagers. “Heyyyy guys!”Layefa called pushing back the sliding doors. I smiled shyly and waved, “Hiii”. We exchanged hellos and how are yous then I took a seat next to Felicia (Timi, Layefa’s older brother’s wife). Layefa went to join his dad and brother-in-law in the living room.
“Tejiri and Kome will be here soon with the baby” Elohor (Layefa’s older sister, Emeka’s wife) informed me. I nodded smiling. I really didn’t like Elohor very much. She is so bossy and not as pretty as she thinks. Her snotty spoiled daughters are worse than her, though. I don’t think there are any teenage girls as bad as those two. The last time I saw them, the older one was carrying the exact same purse I had. My £250 patent quilted Chanel bag. You wouldn’t believe what the brat said to me, “Yours looks like the knockoff. Are you sure the Chanel hasn’t got two ns?” I was so close to slapping her teeth outta her mouth. Thank God for self-control. I was so grateful they weren’t here today.
“How are the girls?” I asked Elohor. It didn’t hurt to be civil, did it? After all, na acting all of us dey do, abi?

“They’re here!” Felicia cried pointing at the sliding door as Kome held it open for Tejiri who was holding the baby. Oh shit, I thought, here goes.

eight.

2009-11-05T12:47:00.001-08:00

I reached into my handbag for a hairbrush as I climbed up the stairs. If it was really bad news people might be here with Layefa to break it to me and I couldn’t be caught dead with raggedy hair. Really.
“Layefa!” I called at the top of the stairs. I guess waiting the ten seconds I waited for him to come out of the bedroom was probably when it hit me that I something extremely ghastly could have happened. With my hand on my chest, I walked slowly to the bedroom. I stared at the door for about a second before I pushed it open.

“Heeeheeeheee…I’m serious! No, really…”Layefa was saying loudly amidst chuckles to someone on the phone while typing on his laptop. Jayz’s new album was blaring on his iPod dock. Blank stare is an understatement of the look I had on my face. He was talking so loudly he didn’t even hear me come in. I noticed he had changed out of the baggy shorts and T-shirt he was wearing when I left that morning. He was now wearing a crisp white danshiki (that traditional shirt Nigerian men wear) and white pants. He was even wearing his new Salvatore Ferragamo shoes!

The first time I called softly, “Layefa”. “Man, you are evil! Ah ahn!” he continued laughing on the phone.

The second time: “Baby” I said louder than the first time.

The third time: “Layefa!” I almost shouted.

When he didn’t turn around I flung my hairbrush at him I missed though. It hit his laptop instead. “Shit! What the-?” he jumped. Turning around, he caught the vicious glare I was giving him. “Oh, baby” He said quickly. Then “Bruv, I’ll call you right back” to the person on the phone.

“Dee, I hope you didn’t break any of my keys oh” he said walking over to me with a bright smile and his arms open. He motioned to hug me but I simply folded my arms and continued to glare at him. “What’s the matter, Hon?” he asked like he had no idea how scared he made me. He probably didn’t but that wasn’t the point. I was just so pissed that I was feeling so angry at Layefa. Until that day that I woke up and didn’t find him by my side, I’d never felt anything close to anger at Layefa before. Not that he’d never ever gotten on my nerves but he just never made me want to claw his brains out.

“I should be asking you” I said brushing his hand away from my shoulder."And who were you talking to? “Baby, don’t tell me you’re mad cuz of your hair. It looks hot this way now.I was talking to Daniel oh.He's back in town” He stroked my hair. “Besides, you can always go back” he tickled my waist.I couldn’t help but smile the way he was smiling and touching me lovingly. “So, nothing happened?” I asked as Layefa planted kisses all over my neck. “Oh. Just my parents are having us all over for lunch”. He said in between kissing me. “I missed you, baby” he quickly added. We made out for while before I remembered he was already dressed. “Why didn’t you jus let me finish my hair?” I said softly pulling away. Dang, my baby takes my breath away, I thought as I looked into Layefa’s eyes.
I hurriedly slipped into a green and blue floral print dress while Layefa explained how it was short notice and reminded how his dad hated lateness and didn’t accept traffic as an excuse.

I rememebered the first Christmas I spent with the Thompsons. It was hell! First of all, we got there around five for a Lunch party that was supposed to start at one. Mr.Thompson was furious and didnt hesistate to show his irritation for lateness. He practically scolded us! I had never felt so small and stupid in my life. Then all his cousins and sisters were rocking designer stuff from their mascara to their toe nail polish. literally. As at that time, i'd just started work so my collection of Versace,Gucci,Victoria Beckham and Fendi wasnt worth a whole lot. Apart from the stuff Layefa had gotten me, i pretty much didnt have much. They were so mean to me. Asking questions like: "where did you get that plain purse?" "Are those real pearls?" "Sweetie, I dont think red is your colour". Bitches. They should se me now.

"You like?" i asked twirling around in my dress in front of Layefa. He blew me a kiss and said "Perfect!" As in, he just knew what i wanted to hear all the time.
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"I'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me,pa-pa-pa-papparazzi" i sang slong with Lady Gaga on the radio. "Baby!" i called as layefa almost hit some guy's car. he muttered that the guy was too slow to be on the road. i went back to my singing till he almost hit another car. "Where's your head at, Layefa?" i asked turning down the volume of the radio.
He cleared his throat twice before he finally said, "You know i hate lying to you,baby", he started. i turned to face him, a frown forming on my face.
"okay, So you remember how i told you this Lunch was short notice?" he continued. i nodded. For crying out loud,Layefa, stop acting funny, i thought.
"Well.It wasnt.My mom invited us since Tuesday.Tejiri delivered a baby girl." Layefa said driving into the turning His parents house was on.

seven.

2009-11-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

hey people! I"m so sorry i've been late with posting Seven. I have been real busy with school but i promise to post the other half in a few hours.thanx for reading btw! x

one week later.....

" C'mon Funmi, choose something now" i begged. I'd been trying to get my friend, Funmi Dada, to help me pick a hairstyle from a magazine for over twenty minutes. "Dee, i dont know for you oh. You're tired of curls,you dont want something too long,you dont want something too short,you dont want something that's just there!". What the hell did i want?! Kiki told me i'd been neglecting my hair so i decided to get rid of the brazillian weave(for a while) and try something different.
"How bout that Ciara's do?" i asked shoving the mag in Funmi's face. She offered to accompany me and make sure i dont come out looking like shrek and now she thinks she can just sit there and let me decide on my own? Mumu girl. "Ooooh...I didnt see that one before! it'll suit your face so well! yes! yes! yes!" She replied. Finally.

So i sat back and let my hairdresser do her thing. "Ehen,continue that your Jennifer gist" i said to funmi. "You and gist shaa!Where did i even stop?" she replied. "I remember. It was the part where she told him he'd have to buy her a dress,shey?" she quickly added. i nodded. Funmi and Kiki were the best gisters ever!
"So thats how he now went to order straight from Marc Jacobs new collection!" Funmi exclaimed almost causing the hairdresser to stab me with the scissors she was using.
“Ah ahn. Ko ma easy oh (it’s not easy oh)” I added. “I know oh. That daft Jennifer just had to fuck up. Do you know what she now did?” Funmi continued. How would I know? “She decided that she would prove to him that she wasn’t with him for material benefits by starting a fight a week to the Show so he would think she wasn’t all that interested”. Shaking my head, I said, “Like she hadn’t already made that obvious when she was giving him terms and conditions.”
Just as Funmi was about to continue, my phone rang. I rummaged in my handbag for my phone as a few people in the salon sang along with my M.I ring tone. It was Layefa calling. I hit the answer button hurriedly. “Hey baby!” I said with a grin as wide as Lagos to London (according to Funmi). “Hey Dee. You still at the beauty salon?” he asked. There was just something about Layefa’s voice that I couldn’t get enough of. He still had a slight American accent intertwined with his Nigerian intonation. “Yeah, babe. What’s up?” I replied. “Well, you probably have to leave right now.” He said sharply. I waited for some form of explanation and when I didn’t get one I said, “Why? Did something happen? I only just started.” I don’t know what I thought he was gonna say but I was thinking more of something like “I’m missing you way too much, baby. Come home already!” not “I’ll explain later. Just leave soonest.” This was what Layefa said.
As you may have expected, paranoia started to kick in after that. Had somebody died? Did he need me to come home so he could break the news gently? Had the house caught fire? Did we just get robbed? All sorts of horrible thoughts clouded my mind. I hung up and gathered my stuff hurriedly.
“What’s going on? Ah ahn…are we leaving?” Funmi asked getting up from her seat. I stole a glance at the mirror in front of me; my hair was nowhere close to being sexy. “I’m coming back” I gruffly said to the shocked hairdresser. Funmi was quite shocked at my sudden change of disposition as well. “Dee, did something happen? That was Layefa on the phone right?” Funmi pestered as she picked up her bag. “Let’s just go” I said quietly heading for the door.
As we walked towards the car, I said “Yeah, it was Layefa. He didn’t tell me anything tangible, he just said I should head home fast”. Funmi nodded understandingly. “I hope nothing serious has happened oh” she whispered. I threw my stuff into the backseat of my car and settled in the driver’s seat while Funmi climbed into the passenger’s seat beside me. “Babe, sorry for wasting your time oh. Abeg ehn?” I pleaded as I pulled out of the parking lot. “Waste ke? At all now. When last did we hang out like this?” she replied saying it was alright. “Sheyyy. E don tey oh” I said trying to lighten up. On the way to Funmi’s house we just talked about random nonsense. She knew where my mind was at and didn’t even bother pressing me about it. That’s why I love my friends. They just get me.
“Later sweetie. Take it easy oh. I’ll call you” Funmi called as she climbed out of the car at the entrance of her street. I nodded, waved and drove off. The kain speed at which I drove home ehn, Lastma would have sooo arrested me if they were on the road.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I yelled “Layefa! I’m home oh!” Didn’t he hear my car driving in?

six.

2009-10-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

I turned my head away from him. Taking a page from Ri-Ri, “No matter what he’ll never se me cry”. I hurriedly tried to wipe my tears with the back of my hand. Layefa dropped his briefcase and laptop bag and sat next to me in the doorway. Even after twelve hours, his musky aftershave almost made me dizzy. He inched closer till my shoulder was resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and said, “Baby, I’m sorry about your car. And I’m sorry I wasn’t here too”. I was too weak to say anything; I just nuzzled my shoulder in his chest. He was with me now, that’s all that mattered, for now, I thought. Even if he was cheating, he still came back home. To me.

We stayed silent like that for about forty minutes. I guess my mind was still wandering. Finally Layefa said, “Dee, you know by tomorrow afternoon, your car will be good as new, right?” Did he really think my car was what was on my mind??? Hmmmn. That showed me two things: (a). He couldn’t read me anymore. (b). He was being awfully sweet if he thought that was all that was wrong with me. Really. He had stayed hugged up on the floor for almost an hour just because he thought he was comforting me about my dented car. Awww, I thought.

“I know” I said softly. “Good” he replied stroking my hair (actually my Brazilian wig, but whatever!). “Baby, you think maybe we could stand up and enter the room?” he added. Whether he meant we should go into he room cuz he was tired of sitting on the floor or cuz he wanted to continue our close& tight arrangement, I sha stood up. My fine ass was getting sore. “Easy” he warned, helping me to my feet. Just as I was turned to enter the room, Layefa pulled me towards him and held me there. We looked into each others eyes for about twenty seconds before he finally kissed me. That’s how Layefa rolled oh. No spontaneity with him. He always wanted me to expect his kisses and touches. We stayed tangled in our lip-lock for almost four minutes before I broke away. “Dee, you okay?” he asked, not because I pulled away but because he could feel it from my aura that I wasn’t. Shaking my head, I walked over to the bed. Pulling on the covers, I said, “Could you please lock up?” He nodded and went back downstairs. I quickly rushed to the bathroom to cleanse my face and apply my night moisturizers. (This my fresh face doesn’t just happen, you know). I had already created the whole ‘she’s so mad she even went to sleep without doing her beauty ritual’. If he liked, he should try something else tomorrow, I would do more.
Hearing his footsteps down the hall, I hurried back to my sleeping position. I turned my body towards his side so he could scope what he might have had if he didn’t fuck up today. Hehe. As I lay there, I remembered what my daddy said the last time we hooked up. (Yeah, me and my day are close like that). We were watching some Yoruba movie (well subtitled of course) and the babe in the story went from heaven to earth to catch her husband cheating. “The thing about women is that they don’t know that all this their wahala will push the man farther from them” Mr. Kalejaiye said. He was trying to tell me that when a woman who still loves her husband even though he’s cheating tries to make him pay, she might completely lose him. Kinda like the movie two can play that game.
I decided that if Layefa made any moves, I wouldn’t deny him of his marital rights. I wanted him too, by the way.