A Soul Seeker's Contemplations...

Quote # 4

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:44:00 +0000

"Between the perceptions of right or wrong there exists a perennial truth, of which the faith is clarity and love is acceptance..."

Quote # 3

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:39:00 +0000

"In due course of silence the deepest rooted emotions are heard with loudest clarity, thus pertaining to the actions of soul..."

P.S. I Love You

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:58:00 +0000

She moved a little closer, she could feel the warm air blowing on her face, his breath like fresh air was as if bringing her back to the life. With little difficulty she pushed her eyes wide open, his beautiful face was peeping out of the warm blanket, in which she had tucked him like a new born last night. His eyes were closed, mouth slightly open and his face little downwards as if he was resting on her arm. She realized she was still enwrapped in his arms. She then raised her hand and began to caress his hair; his childlike innocence mixed with the freshness of morning was a solace to her.

The rays of light that signaled the dawn were penetrating through the window curtains and onto his face; with a mild jerk he dimly opened his eyes. His grays glistened and her heart fumbled. He then smiled and gave a peck on her cheek, he uttered, Good Morning Love! She felt as if the whole world had upturned in that moment and had come to a standstill. Everything was bygone and forsaken in that instance. All that was existent and real was him and her together, she returned back to his glittering grays which had now turned into greens, she smiled and said; Good Morning Baby! God Bless You.

‘Love has its various modes of expression sometimes silent and sometimes loud enough that could be clearly heard, finding a mode to express what ones heart narrates has always been complicated. But what makes it easy and good going is nothing but again love itself.’

It was this time of the year last time in 2011 when I was alone and awaiting someone to be my special one. It is this time of the year when I am celebrating our soulful union with this little piece of writing. Happy Anniversary (first month) love, it is this beginning that shall lead us towards a wonderful end. Thank You my loving husband for making my life what I call as perfect!

P.S. I Love You.

November and I

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:02:00 +0000

It is November again; blustery and cold

I am alone; walking on the road

Reminiscing sweet 1940s; the summers, the sun and the bridge

The coffee beans and tea leaves; cheese cakes and muffin.

I fathom; the rain, the rides and the warmth of thy arms

I miss thy touch; the skin, the lips and hair.

It shall never be again; the November and I.

For there now lies a distance; thee and I.

My spirit shall stay behind; still and liberated

To the love that shall live; glorious and immortal.

Ripening...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:28:00 +0000

The call begins....

She: Ummm hellow..
He: Hey hi, how are you doing?
She: Fine, hanging in the air! (yawn)
He: Oh that's great. So when do you plan to step on the land ?
She: Not until you stick on to there. Anyway what's up with you?
He: Nothing.
She: Should be.
He: Yeah!
She: I know.
He: Excuse me, how on earth you think you are supposed to know everything?
She: Just because...forget it. Out of your reach.
He: So you still think the same.
She: I gotta think that way.
He: Why, always?
She: Ask yourself you might know the answers then.
He: I can't find any.
She: Doesn't matter.
He: Could you please tell me, what matters then?
She: Nothing. I am tired, I am off! See you later. Good Night. Take Care.

Line goes dead...

She turned her face to the bed side table and glanced at the clock ticking to 3:07 Am. Anayaa turned back again and was taken away by thoughts that past her mind within number of seconds. She began to question herself, why? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't me ever nor was Aayush then where did we fade? Does he care or maybe love me even today or did he someday? No answers... She walked up to the terrace looking for answers and gazed at the star studded sky. Far up there one of the stars twinkled, bright, she looked at its spark and Aayush's face crossed her mind again. She sat up there at the parapet not knowing whom she was looking at; the star or him. Her heart was filled with emptiness and mind with nothingness. Numb she was again not knowing why.

Aayush looked at the clock that kept on changing it's numbers to 3:07.. 3:08.. 3:09.. 3:10.... Clueless of where to begin or maybe end? He closed his eyes thinking that sleep might encounter him and let him pass out for few hours. 'Doesn't matter' 'Doesn't matter' 'Doesn't matter' those words kept on echoing and he kept changing sides in the best of hopes for the sleep to come... Finally he wide opened his eyes wondering why does it not matter anymore, or it never did? His mind kept swinging back and forth to Anayaa's utterances and her laughter back then. His heart was filled with emptiness and mind with nothingness. Numb he was again not knowing why.

Anayaa and Aayush were in a steady relationship of 7 years they had come a long way. Loving each other insanely all those years yet none of them knew where their relationship was heading to or was it even heading? Sometimes life has no conclusions it just keeps flowing to the unknown, both wished they could evolve through the mystery and get back to what it once was.

"Love persists in any form for it never ceases to exist;

Embrace it or you may not know the ripening."

Quote # 2

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 12:00:00 +0000

"A satire is what you may portray,

For thy words of wisdom give no tooth to the aching mouths!"

Ink or Sand?

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 12:53:00 +0000

I asked once:

Ink or Sand ?

He answered:

Both vanish!

In a wave’s gush

Fading in time

With smears behind...

To articulate:

What was there once?

Image Courtsey: Flickr

From the abundance of muddled mind to the ruffled heart!

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:44:00 +0000

I am kind of going to rant here today. So much to talk and so much to share, haven’t written much in a while. Usually whenever I feel like writing I initiate the subject and then somehow most of it remains incomplete. There is this entire stack of word files lying incomplete with lines confiding to no-where. I myself do not know why I keep doing that. At times when I go back to those half-inked pages, I wonder, what was I thinking when I wrote those lines? I Wish I had a good memory power, atleast I would have managed to complete all those undone words.

So, here to start with after long-long time I wish to talk about everything that has been going in my mind after my recent trip to Kolkata. Wherein, I discovered million things about life as well as myself along with my (would be) life partner. Ah, beautiful memories! It was the time that shall never come back yet my heart keeps on yearning for it to come back. Strange are the ways of life…

Whilst I was present there my mind kept on wondering that maybe I know everything of there since years (Deja vu kinds I don’t know). It’s been a week that I am back, yet I experience tension while I sleep to where I am. I keep wondering that - did I ever belong to this place (Ahmedabad)? It is not the place where I was born but it is where I grew up, spent many long years of my life. Yes, I confess at the back of my mind this place was never my place and that is why I kept escaping from here as soon as I could. However, that escape feels much different now as I knew that there was always a doorway to return back home. It is not that now I can’t return back home ever but of course now this is not what is going to be mine.

This silly heart of mine dubiously keeps winging between one that is coming is mine (whether if it is mine) or the one that is about to fade (was ever mine).

Time changes so does Life. The one hopelessly learning small bicycle with the screams of mom behind is now driving a car; the one crawling to the pillow is now running to the farthest distance. The one that couldn’t understand English letters is now writing pages. The one that couldn’t draw a single line is making paintings. Aarrghhh, what an irony!

Changes happen, few things emerge and few things submerge, people come, people go and few stay by. Suddenly life up-turns to reveal the one who’s meant to be yours like the discovery of the vast galore of sea towards the end of the shore. Probably that is when you may realize that everything you once called of as deceivance of life was meant to be there - to guide you towards the journey to the ocean's end just like a light house.

What is life and what it conveys if only I could understand. Like they say:

“Life begins from where there seems to be an end to it.”

Eternal Journey...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 12:56:00 +0000

Sometimes I walk in the rain;

Feet dug into the gushing waves,

Touching my skin,

The bubbles soar to penetrate,

Deep and deep…

Into a winding cacophony;

Of a heart that listens,

And a mind that evades…

Their variance is perpetual,

And their communion is a song;

To be sung,

In a visible haze,

Synonymous to Life,

For a singular;

And an eternal Journey!

Hopelessly Romantic...!

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 18:56:00 +0000

Someday looking at the orange sun,

In the narrowed shadows of light,

Strolling in the escaping water -

That leaves the wet sand behind,

With your footprints, engraved so deep;

I shall glimpse your face, carved so fine;

The life shall smirk from your lips, shaped so perfect!

Someday you would walk up to me:

Shout my name - again and again,

That shall be the day,

Yours and mine,

Not yet, but it shall be there,

I know, I really do!

"Love is known as a bond of one spirit and lest bodies, someday that is what I shall realize - through your existence. Within your body would be the taste of your soul, someday that is what I shall discover - through your existence."

P.S. Valentine's Day being just round the corner, I am in Hopelessly Romantic mode. Wish you all the couples super-duper Happy Valentine's Day :)

Lover's Snide

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 06:54:00 +0000

Deep down the hill,
In the pride of owner still;
You stand tall,
Against the wall;
Sweeping in the motion of Rhine,
You take the breath of naked fine.

Hair swaying and swinging,
Brushed by the wind and wriggling;
Your eyes wishing as talking,
Hither and thither they move as walking;
Through the despair of pretence foul,
You concede the soul.

Like the Atlantis,
With the last gratis;
I shall stay by,
For your wry;
As you are the suitor;
And I am the purser.

I shall hold with no arms wide,
For we shall share the same ride;
Call it altar high,
Not reachable to nigh;
For that’s the lover’s snide,
In the world this wide.

Smiling!

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 17:43:00 +0000

Phew... long time that I am getting back on to this one. For a while I had wanted to quit writing and blogging. But really couldn't I had some crazy mad months whining about people and Life, claiming everything to be worthless. Well things still are really tough but not as tough as to what I had thought. In those months I learned few things, I am glad that things sometimes go down and we meet the kind of people whom we damn all our lives. They really do have some purpose - of not drawing you down but of keeping you up there and testing your breath till the last.

Anyway I don't want to start the crap again. I am happy in general there is nothing that has occurred which is great in itself but just a thought of my own and some reflections made me super happy and almost walking on the moon. During this phase of mine there have been some really great blogger friends who kept interacting and motivating me no matter what I was cribbing about! Thank You all :)

What I learned was simple (but mostly way too complicated to imply):

"There is nothing so strong and greater than yourself just that there needs to be some faith on yourself, then roads are way too simple rather few hurdles make you more closer and stronger towards your destination. Yes, no one has a power or control on you, it is you who surrender your powers to them. In this life of yours only you can decide the rights and wrongs for yourself; there is no right or wrong that could exist on the basis of someone else's acknowledgement. There is none who could hold themselves on you for long, they will perish sooner or later. Either leaving your soul bare or filling you up with maybe regrets."

Think people!

Some happy thought:

How about serving wishes and dreams on an extravagant plate of an exuberant restaurant...?
Ahhh....that could have been life, though it is still life and it is yours. It is worth your own value -primarily!

Lastly I am sure most of you must have watched No one killed JESSICA (if not please go watch, worth a watch difficult film though but worth it!) The film was a great source of inspiration to me.

Chao! *smiling*

Why Do I?

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:27:00 +0000

Why do I?

Slump in slime,

When I know it ain’t sublime.

In whose naivety -

Do I ponder?

For whose chastity-

Do I Launder?
Why do I?

Grump in grime,

When I know it ain’t mine.

Why do I?

Agonize evading darkness,

And scalded forest flames,

Counting befallen stars,

When I know –

There is nothing,

But smoldering ashes,

That dance in the barren.

Why do I?

Yearn for valiance,

And thoughtful radiance,

Amid countless tries and revolting failures,

When I know -

There ain’t any peaches and cream,

There aint any marshmallows or chocolate,

For I had learned:

‘Like the stony endless floor,

Life is lifeless!’

Sarah...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 20:21:00 +0000

I stood under the silvery sky the gusty wave glided by and swapped away the sand beneath my feet. I realized the movement; I knew the time was ticking. The cool wintery breeze was silently tearing the flesh apart to leave my soul exposed. My mind wandered again and again to the reminiscences that it bore.”Sarah”, I whispered, it meant everything in the world. Her images flickered as I recalled her laughter once again:

As I pointed the lens; she posed in front of the camera. She usually heard my emotions through the instrument. My captures meant much more than what I usually said to her, the camera shuddered with its finest click divulging my attention, I smirked. Her glistening brown eyes scrolled as she watched herself from my eyes in the tiny screen. Her chided laughter began to blow in the air and her face turned from pale white to flush pink as she cried "only you can portray the inner me, how do you do that? "."Because your eyes talk of everything", I cooed into her ears. She blushed as she stole my gaze and uttered in a softer note"I love you" her lips too tight and breath pounding, her heart was thumping. I pulled her close; I could hear the symphony - her heart beating and the breath escaping, there was so much more that I was experiencing.

She really was like her name ‘Everything’ my heart was undergoing the adrenaline rush, I bit her lip. “Ouch” she expressed numbly, staring into my eyes as the streak of hair slipped on my cheek, as if she was teasing me. I pulled the silky strand back with my finger, slowly exploring the texture of her pastel skin; it was all that I could sense beyond the deep sets of her brown pearls. I crushed her in my arms and mellowed the ultimate three words which she had awaited to hear since the eternity “let’s get married”. For a moment as if the time had stopped for us, she glanced into my stony eyes and said “Really?” “Yes, it is just you that I want, now and forever” I said rolling my fingers on her face. “I will, Dev, I will, now and forever till the heaven resides by us”. And I kissed her below the moon lit star studded sky, by the gushing ocean. As if the heaven, the earth, the sea, were all the witnesses; that we had for our promises.

I had thought that I owned universe that night, little did I know that Dev and Sarah were the names written by the sand, each passing wave would drag them into the struggle of surviving. I always wished to achieve success; she had witnessed me and my dreams shape up patiently for 12 long years. Finally the day had come and we happily tied the knots. Sarah and Dev were examples of love and perpetuity, but do things really happen the way we perceive? I wonder, the creator always has a different plan. Soon after our marriage, we had discovered that I was HIV positive and she had turned into one too. Our world had fallen apart our wows had crushed into the smoke of darkness. It was entirely my fault; I could never give her what she deserved. “Is there a way out? Are you happy, han? Are you smiling God?” I screamed standing between the slipping sand and rumbling waves.

Sarah is six months pregnant now, the doctor had advised us not to sustain the child, but she was willing to see our love growing in the form of life. We do not have many months left to live now and the new born is our enlightening hope yet a despair that we share with the God. All that I beg from God now is: that our child is not a HIV positive. My new born Sarah should be safe now, really! Can that happen?

"Hopes and wishes are like soaring clouds in the night sky, studded with the twinkling stars. Shall it be new moon or full moon, there is always a dawn!"

Dev and Sarah have passed away it has been 6 years now, Sarah the girl child that they gave birth to is surviving, hoping, smiling and giggling like her mother. Her life has every dream, she was born as HIV negative, she misses her mother and father, envies other kids but understands her life is a gift.

P.S. Life is not fair always, there is only one thing that can be fair, it is US. Be grateful to what you possess, cherish it, enlighten it. There will be nothing beyond this time that you can hold on to. Live every moment.

I defy...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 10:56:00 +0000

Sometimes breaking the shell is so necessary to escalate yourself from the worlds den. Their crust is a place where your own wisdom is cursed and crushed; it functions by its sets of norms. You seldom question the liberty you get, coming out from a cocoon is so not a lay man’s job. It requires a harsh soldier and the warrior who could stand by his wills.

Most times the realizations are much delayed, that is; when you are either swaying in circumstantial hands or by the deaths crest. There is no way to deter now. Is it, have you ever known or attempted? The tempest has befallen. I can’t even warn, beware. Think!

Freedom is altruistic, you dream, you fathom, but do you achieve or even make efforts to unshackle? Do you look forth a new horizon tell me, do you really do? I have been all across the journey together by you, limitlessly trying to dive into its ocean. I really am unaware about the bottom of the sea that you and I have chosen to govern. I am not a liberator anymore.

The puppeteer has his hands laid on the strings to guide your path and movements. How can you escape, oh my dear little puppet! Solicit your soul, do marionettes find their ways without reins? It is up to you to deicide. Think, I say, are you even those puppets or leeches looking for the day to step forward?

Ah, it is mine and your dream, of carcasses and the soul, the battle of quests they undergo together by the journey. Life, it says to me whispering into my ears. I defy, for I am liberated now.

Lost, Really?

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 20:34:00 +0000

I wander,

To perceive a reverie,

Glistening and glimmering,

On the dreary road,

Where they blather of her,

Giggling and bustling,

Rumbling in oceans mirth,

As if there was no shore.

They Said:

She dreamt,

Of the enchanted moon,

And bright stars,

For she had befriended,

The dark-dark night.

They said:

She was free,

To posses;

Emotions so wild,

And wishes like horses.

Ah, what a dove, I say!

Lately I am being involved in some agony aunt sessions with various people, I seriously will to escape but there isn't much choice; I have to stay, for they are my people. In those moments of distress, either I feel like crashing and crumbling my computer down (in case of chats or calls on Google Talk, Gmail, Skype and Yahoo) or dumping my phone in some ice cold water so that, I do not have to confront them.

Usually whilst listening and delivering the pep talk, I appear like epic, well not that I don't like that but at the back of my mind there is a different story running altogether. I plainly get disappointed with myself, honestly, not because I cannot meet the expectations but purely because the inner me questions, where am I lost?

I keep wandering into the caves of darkness sometimes blaming, sometimes regretting and at times cherishing. I question where have the sentiments that I possessed disappeared, why do I not experience, the gush, as they all do when I too have been living in similar conditions. Am I really so sane, that I experience nothing anymore, have I forgotten what pain is like? I used to at certain point of time, isn’t it? I remember how easily tears would make their way down the hill, and now what? Have I really learned to let go and grow? I have no answers.

Really I am talking gibberish today; kindly excuse me if you guys had to tolerate my insanity.

Faith?

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 20:28:00 +0000

As she sat at the airport an hour before the new dawn to break, her mind drifted back to the voices that she was going to leave behind. She was moving towards a new beginning which she expected will light up a new road for her. It was something that she was looking forward to, something that was so unknown to her yet felt so much known to embrace it. She recalled:

She: How much do you know me to say that?

He: Yes, I agree I do not know you as per your expectations, but I wish to know you further.Do you consider that?

She: No I don’t, because I do not give you the right to delve in me.

He: I don’t need a right, I already have one.

She: Well, if you think so, you can. I shall not stop you on that but, I know what I shall consider.

He: Why do you have to be so stubborn with everything? Can you not see that I really care?

She: I do, but then it is something that I do not wish to see.

He: I fail to understand this.

She: That is what makes me not consider what you say.

He: So you simply mean that, I do not understand you?

She: No, you do. I do not deny that but, should I say that I fail to trust your understanding?

He: Alright, I get that. You still build no trust in me, right?

She: Yes, I do not and I cannot, it is both ways.

He: Can I ask, when will I be able to acquire the tinge of faith within you?

She: Never.

He: I am speechless.

She: Anurag, please I beg of you to begin to live the way you used to earlier. Live the freedom that you had within yourself, experience the colors of life once again, you always subsisted that way before I had stepped into your life.

Anu, Leave these days of dependence. Tell me why do you have to resort to ashes and smoke? Bury my memories, really I am not the one who can make you happy. Even if I attempt to, we both will once again fail miserably. Have I not tried? There is nothing left that I can give to you now.

He: Kavya, there is a need of dependence on the ashes since they leave you behind, if not permanently but yes atleast temporarily. You tell me what else should I do then? What else is there that can make me forget your face? There is no effort that I haven’t turned to, to forget you. I can’t to do it anymore. I am almost crushed with and without you. Why does it have to be painful when I always knew you could never be with me?

She: There are no answers to your questions. All I know is to turn back and walk away. I am leaving now and forever, Anu.

Kavya had decided to move back to her home country. She much thought that at-least leaving the place can relieve her from the memoirs that lay back there in the world that she always adored and considered hers. Sitting at the airport she still thought of running back to times and turning the wheel and make it right. However, it was too late, there was nothing she could do except running from the bearings of life. She loved him limitlessly but, bore no trust. Her love was deep and distrustful for she neither trusted herself. Kavya’s perception of love shared no purpose to her life, as her mistrust left only nothingness to her.

She knew how much her heart pounded for him, and maybe she still stood a chance to forget and forgive him. But her soul had said 'no more' and there was only so much she could give. She had just turned up to hope that her decision would give him a new course and she can forsake her hearts story and move on to what the other world was weaving for her.

"Love is persistent without the resonance of faith, but holds no purpose in the life's continuum."

Visionary Dreamers!

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 20:02:00 +0000

"I dream, I learn, I articulate and I grow!
A Line begins with a point and ends with a point, so does Life - it is a lesson to learn!

I was recently approached by some website / blog to post a link on my blog, I ideally would have denied but somehow the designer's soul couldn't resist since, the link said - 10 Essential Architects of Twentieth Century , I immediately clicked it.

As I began to read it, my mind drifted to college days - I turned nostalgic. Those were the days of inspirations and imaginations, when I thought we designers could conquer the world (Maybe I still think that, but now from a different perspective!). The philosophies of great masters, should I say Artists? often made me romanticize the world.

The theories and implications of buildings designed by Frank Lloyd Wright (FLW), Sir Norman Foster, Frank O' Gehery, Tadao Ando, Daniel Libeskind, Zaha Hadid, etc.continued to bizarre me. My mind painted thoughts as I read and saw their work. The collaborated visions that I had borrowed from them made me adore each line, each plane and each curve when I crafted my spaces. Thus, in some way I developed my own style and particular way of seeking anecdotes of design.

I worship:

FLW- Like all other Architects and Designers I too share a common love for Master Architect Frank Lloyd Wright. His most famous project Falling Water has a beauty of an artist's sculpture to my eyes. The Lake House a famous film showcases a house designed by him, ah what a dream he smothered by that residence!

Zaha Hadid - A post modern Era Architect and staunch executer of Decon (Deconstruction) Architecture. I frantically love every stroke that she puts on paper, I went all the way to Britain to study and explore her work, sadly I never could see her, but even today I do conceive a dream to work with her once in my lifetime.

I share - The building proposed by her for London 2012 Aquatic Center, I am going crazy now!!

P.S. I still love The Fountainhead and Horward Roark's supreme pride as an Architect, so do I love Ayn Rand and here careful writer's craft that points intricacies of an Architects mind.

Unuttered...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:31:00 +0000

I walk speechless,

Together by your side,

In the morrow’s shelter,

Between the endless bridges,

And forlorn fate,

Stealing thy gaze,

Seeking the laughter,

For it camouflaged,

The unuttered.

"Laughter is the only camouflage for an exalted love’s salvation and pain is the liberation of a condemned soul."

P.S. This post has been published as a guest post on Sourav C. Pandey's Blog read him on In love with me and life... Lastly, Thank you Sourav!

77 Fiction # 1

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 21:55:00 +0000

“Love is wanderer’s cave; it sheds no light to the dwellers “he said.

Yet is a burnished haven that tenderly guides and protects like no other existence, said she.

Your arguments are leading to no brighter side my lady, I command you to pursue no more opinions for the disregarded.

I bow down O’ Almighty, I may not be guilty; your disregarded belief is rather a respectful dominion and a worthy feeling that seeks the condemned soul.

To be continued...

P.S. Was trying 55 fiction for the first time ended up in 77.

Hope to develop it further :)

Forthcoming

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 19:22:00 +0000

The forthcoming -

Is a boulevard untraveled;

The history lays by nays,

In the smeared pages of yellow,

That scream to mellow.

The time has subsided,

By the undecided.

The horizon has dwindled,

In the hopes to be rekindled.

For the day and night are;

The pacifiers of a dream,

That dwells by hermit’s bay.

The Creator...??

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 14:09:00 +0000

It is a fathomable universe where we reside. Each matter is a constituent of million look alikes’, yet the resultant is so different and un-achievable. Diverse are the ways of creator, each discovery keeps us awed. I wonder where does he reside and what is his form, they say he has no from. Can that be true?

The creator, narrator, sustainer has no form, ah such an irony! Then I say what a felony that we beings seek the trivial. I question, whom do we look upto, if the existence of our own foundation is unknown? Are we so worthless, purposeless & petite that we have yet not derived meaningful answers?

P.S. I am not a staunch follower of any religion or cult, but there are certain things that bother me about my own existence.

Farther are my ways...

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:55:00 +0000

I yearn:

To soar sky high,

Leave the world by sigh,

And cherish the doves’ freedom,

As there laid no wisdom,

For the seeker’s waddle,

By the night’s cradle,

In profanity’s command”

Ah, the naïve humanity!

I say:

Farther are my ways,

For I aspire the winged ones!

Wedding Bells - Do you hear them?

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 20:27:00 +0000

I recently turned 25 (I know ladies I am offending our gender by disclosing my age, I do apologize so don’t beat me up, this post has a lot to do with my age). Honestly, it is scary to turn 25 definitely not a happening thing, there is so much that comes by WHEN AN INDIAN GIRL TURNS 25. Life takes a twist and million things change. Especially the social outlook of your relatives towards you goes through a major transformation overnight, Hah! Like they are the best judges at pinnacle and you are the target to be hung and case to be dismissed. Tadang, every elder suddenly wants to interact with you, reason – footing at the right age (you are grown up now you see)! You are the appropriate target for the wedding bells to start ringing. As if the cupid could strike in single nth second and, bang there you go, did you hear them? Naaahh, right? They hear them all the time. I confess I never hear them.

I often get goodbye’s saying “now we will see you in your wedding.” Wooww, I answer back saying, “Alright sure where’s the groom then?” I am too looking for Mr. Unfortunate or maybe Mr. Fortunate, who knows. Only he would be able to answer it correctly, unless he wouldn’t be scared of me. Which I am sure he will be, because of my ferocious mood swings. I call him Mr. X, please not with any wrong notions in mind but, with little imperfect knowledge of my most hated subject - mathematics. Where every unknown number was x and almost after gazillion sleepless nights behind those equations I never achieved the right answer of mystery number X. So the equation always remained unsolved with some left over sketchy scribbles or words on my bed sheet and peaceful snores. So here again the mystery number of mystery man Mr. X is in the same state – unsolved.

I am waiting, with some passive snores and imperfect dreams of perfect man (though delusionary, I am fine with that for time being). But I am sure my so called relatives would be waiting with sleepless nights. Ahan, I love that, it’s a call of revenge for me, as when I studied numbers they slept; now I’ll delve into darkness with all the night’s charm of my so called prince charming! But honestly, on the serious note what’s the fuss about? There isn’t any war going on unlike kargil, then why run like beehived. I fail to understand. Probably glumly deny too.

This whole marriage thing is super frustrating at times. Everywhere, all the mates go gaga on the same lines. This is again fruitfully topped up by Facebook’s grueling updates of falling in love statuses, engaged/married statuses. Some go more showy with fancy photos, lovey - dovey smiles and nice designer clothes. Beat that crazy feeling by then, all you want to do is to escape to no man’s land! Not that I wouldn’t do that when I’ll be in that position of showing my man off (this is just to exemplify the frustration levels one can achieve).

So all in all one thing I believe is - Why so much of haste and worry, only destiny shall answer the call. Let the time make its pieces fall in place. Sit by and watch, act when you are commanded, don’t un -necessarily be on run.

P.S. My relatives who read this or by any chance (to be) Mr.X, please do not get offended by this post. It has been written on a lighter note.

With that the song I share:

Akanshaa - Freedom of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Palak Vasant Raja) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 21:39:00 +0000

Evey woman has an Akanshaa (I call it; her way of dreaming 'Freedom of Life') living in her upto certain extent. Some are mother's, some are wives and some are daughter's. Some live their independence some don't or just cannot.

A photo replica of painting done by me some few months ago on similar thoughts of 'Freedom of Life'

When I envisage your face, I plainly smile. But more profusely I worry and grit my teeth when you cross my thoughts. I wonder, about the inheritance of deep sets below your eyes. I question, parches on your sodden lips. I suffer, rooted scars below your skin when you limp across the floor. I think, of life circle that you succumb to. I then confront, each night of how you live in the silent somber. I then regret, all the miseries that you walk into. You light up the dark and then progress yourself in the agony of falling night. You rise and shine like every other day. How do you not break free, O Dear?

I play the blame game but deep down inside I know I have already lost the toss. The loathing caused beneath you and me is all the same. Your mystique is of silence and my propagation is of words. I am the fruit of the tree that you are rooted to. How then, eternal visage of mine, not resemble you?

O’ child bearer, educate me the way you held my finger once, to stand up and rise!

Imbibe me with how I let the sovereignty flow to them.

For once, I want to realize, what freedom tastes to them…

P.S. This post is dedicated to Frames of Freedom contest organized by blogadda.

Note: The first photo was shot in Adalaj Step Wells (Ahmedabad, Gujarat).