Adonis Marrero's Blog

Just Be Yourself

2012-05-03T20:34:00.001-07:00

Yes, you've probably heard this one as much as any other adage out there, but in this day and age you really have to be yourself.

Ever since Steve Jobs died back in October, I can't help but notice all these magazines and articles giving tips and advice on how to become the next Steve Jobs.

For starters, this is bullshit.

What ever methods he used to run a company does not apply to every one. Having read his biography, Jobs was quite a hot head in the workplace and was cruel with his employees, often times humiliating them in front of everyone.

Regardless, it worked for him and now Apple is the most valuable company in the world. Again, this worked for him due to a list of factors too long to list here. But only because he acted a certain way, doesn't mean we should do the same to achieve success.

Sure, it's good to have a person you look up to for various reasons. I myself look up at Steve Jobs, his success story and philosophy of life inspires me to make something great out of life. But I don't see myself acting like him, mainly because I don't want to be like him.

I want to be myself.

Let's say you accomplish something big in life, something that people, hundreds of years from now will remember you for, would you like to be remembered as the person that everyone compared you to or do you want to be remembered as yourself?

Think about it, it's not a trick question.

The Digital and Print Royalty Calculator Sheet for Self-Publishing Authors

2012-04-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

With self-publishing anyone can now send their magnum opuses out to the hands of millions of readers worldwide. Amazon and Barnes & Noble allow you to upload your digital book up to their site. Aggregators such as Smashwords distribute your eBook to Apple, Sony, Kobo, etc. Also, don't think that print books are completely dead. Createspace (Amazon's Print On Demand company) allows you to upload your manuscript and sell print editions of your book.

If you want to sell your product direct, there's Gumroad, a site that lets you sell any digital good which you can post back to your site or blog.

Keep in mind, however, that each company takes different distribution percentages. Also, you get different royalties depending on how you price your eBook. It can all get very confusing.

But fear no more! I have just made your life easier.

I created two excel spreadsheets, one for eBook Royalties, using all the mentioned distributors royalties, charges, etc. and another one for print books, using Createspace's Royalties.

All you have to do is download the sheet, by clicking on the link below, set your book prices in their respective boxes and that's it. For the print book spreadsheet you have to add the price and page count of your book. (Don't worry it's very simple)

Digital and Print Royalty Calculator Sheet

NOTE: In this sheet, I only used the options most people tend to go with and seem to me like the right option. I didn't include a distribution charge for iBooks or Kobo because most self-pub authors use Smashwords to distribute to them, as well as to the Sony store and Diesel. In addition, Kobo, the Sony Store, and other stores, require an aggregator like Smashwords for you to publish your book to them.

To distribute to the iBookstore, on your own, you need a Mac and an ISBN number. Most people own a PC and don't have access to a Mac. Also, ISBN numbers are pricey and Smashwords will give you one for free or you can buy one from them for ten dollars (as long as you distribute with them).

I also didn't include Bookbaby because they charge around $100 (plus an annual fee after your first year) to do the same thing Smashwords does, albeit, they give you 100% of your royalties, which needs no calculation.

As for Google Books, I have heard from plenty of people the pain it is to get your book on there and not to mention that almost no one uses it. So I found it pointless to include them on the list.

If you would like for me to include these or any other distributors/aggregators, email me at adonismarrero at gmail.com and I'll include them.

Whatever makes it easier and convenient for everyone.

As If Banning Books From Schools is Really Helping Anyone

2012-04-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

The folks over at the American Library Association (A.L.A) released their top ten list of most frequently challenged and banned books.

For those of you asking yourselves, "What is the difference between challenged and banned?” you're in luck. Here is the answer, straight from the A.L.A:

A challenge is an attempt to remove or restrict materials, based upon the objections of a person or group. A banning is the removal of those materials. Challenges do not simply involve a person expressing a point of view; rather, they are an attempt to remove material from the curriculum or library, thereby restricting the access of others. Due to the commitment of librarians, teachers, parents, students and other concerned citizens, most challenges are unsuccessful and most materials are retained in the school curriculum or library collection.

Schools and libraries send these challenges to the A.L.A in an attempt to ban these disgusting, warped and malignant books from the hands of innocent school kids.

If schools and libraries are doing this in an attempt to ban these books, then check out this scenario.

So let's say you're a high school student who wants to read something other than Elie Wiesel's Night. A little bird tells you to get your hands on Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five.

"A great read and one of the best books ever written," The bird says, but not really.

You walk into your school library and ask the librarian, "Do you carry a copy of Slaughterhouse-Five? I would really like to read something else in English class instead of Night for the seventeenth time."

"How dare you bring that title up in my library, get out this instance!" The librarian says.

(True story, librarians always think the school library is their library. Try it sometime.)

With your tail tucked between your legs you walk out and wonder where else you can get a copy of the book that by now has raised your curiosity level at an all-time high. You're wondering why is this goddamned book banned from the school library, it must be filled with raping and pillaging of children and orgy scenes with humans and animals alike.

"Oh, wait!" you say, "If my school library doesn't have the book, I'll just go to the public library where they have every single book!"

Now, with a wide smile on your face, you head into your public library, log on to one of their computers and search for this bastard book that you think shares some relation with the Codex Gigas.

Your smile turns upside down when you see the words: not available.

You walk up to the lady behind the counter and, again, ask, "Do you carry a copy of Slaughterhouse-Five?"

The librarian covers her ears and says, "You demon child, get the hell out of my library!"

(We all pay taxes to keep a library open, but it doesn't mean it's ours. I can't go and set my bed in the fiction aisle and forward my mail there.)

Eventually, you're left with doodley-squat and give up on your conquest for a great book. (You can always buy, but seriously, would your average high school student nowadays spend money on a book. If so, good for you.)

Banning books from schools and libraries is not helping anyone, in fact, it makes students and potential readers alike to give up on reading altogether and go do less productive things.

With that being said, here are the ten books the A.L.A challenged last year:

1) ttyl; ttfn; l8r, g8r, by Lauren Myracle

2) The Color of Earth, by Kim Dong Hwa

3) The Hunger Games trilogy, by Suzanne Collins

4) My Mom's Having A Baby! A Kid's Month-by-Month Guide to Pregnancy, by Dori Hillestad Butler

5) The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie

6) Alice, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

7) Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley

8) What My Mother Doesn't Know, by Sonya Sones

9) Gossip Girl, by Cecily Von Ziegesar

10) To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

The reason why most of these books were challenged was because of: offensive language, sexually explicit content, religious viewpoints and racism.

Aren't these things an average high school student or person goes through, sees or discusses on a daily basis, if not worst? Also, does anyone bother remembering that these are works of FICTION, that's right, it's not real, it comes from the authors imagination.

And I bet Snooki and Justin Bieber books get a prime position at libraries though.

In the end, playing it too safe always results in disaster. The more you prohibit something from someone, the more they'll do it. It's just how we humans are wired.

Playing it too safe doesn't result in disaster, you say? Allow me to retort.

This raunchy 2004 Super Bowl Halftime performance, led to...

2005. The most boring Super Bowl Halftime show ever

Just Another Lemon Tree

2012-04-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

Ignore the dog and focus on the lemon tree.
Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

– Cave Johnson, Portal 2

Don’t get turned off by the fact that this quote comes from a fictional character and from a PC game nonetheless. This quote actually has a lot of meaning to it.

The old adage we’ve heard or been taught by our parents was that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade (this is usually follwed by an exclamation mark to show the enthusiasm!). In layman terms, this means: take what life gives you and make the best out of it.

Everyone has come to believe this and think that it is right. Just like when I was a kid, my mom would always say, “Tell God your plans if you want him to laugh”. I naively believed and thought that God, somehow made plans for us. Which meant that we didn’t make our plans. So, all our dreams, aspirations and ambitions are thrown out the window because according to the age-old adage, God makes our plans.

I’m not going to go into the religious aspect of this, but let’s think of this from a Catholic/Christian point of view: God gives us life, seven billion people to share it with, in a world with wonders in every corner (except for Florida), he gives us life to do whatever we want to do with it, we stand between the roads of good and bad and we choose which one to take. We make these decisions no one else.

Yet, we have to believe that our plans don’t amount to squat because a higher power chooses it for us.

Seems flawed, doesn’t it?

Same goes for the lemonade adage. I, just like plenty of people, thought about making the best out of a crappy moment, whether I liked it or not. Then I got to thinking that if you make the best out of a bad situation, you’ll always be stuck in that situation. Stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of.

If you apply this in the real life then what you have are broken dreams and then you’ll be that person telling your kids and friends about that one time life dumped lemons on you and instead of throwing them back, you made a lifetime supply of lemonade.

Look at Lance Armstrong for example: he had testicular cancer, which spread to his lungs and brain. Those were the lemons life gave him – some shitty lemons if you ask me. Did he use those to make lemonade? Well, unless you live under a rock, you’ll know that Lance Armstrong had surgery to remove the cancer and intense chemotherapy. Eventually he got better, started cycling again and won the Tour de France seven consecutive times.

There are hundreds of success stories from people who had it rough in life or were disabled, like Helen Keller, who was the first deaf blind person to get a Bachelor's Degree, or Stephen Hawking, who has been disabled throughout most of his life and is widely regarded as one of the most important physicists of all time.

So remember, if things aren’t going your way or you find yourself settling for less, take those goddamned lemons, throw them back at life, and say, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna’ take this anymore!”

Just like this.

Then make your own fate.

Could This Be The Future of Books?

2012-03-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

With eBooks sales skyrocketing every year thanks to Amazon's Kindle and the Tablet craze, one can only ask, what's next?

I've written about this before: how print books will fade away and the majority will adopt the eBook format. Especially since you can get an eReader for $79 or a tablet for $199, both from Amazon. It's inevitable, just like how DVD made the VHS tape extinct, CD's made cassettes extinct and how smartphones are making standard cellphones extinct.

Last year, 60% of iPad owners used their tablet for reading. That percentage will get bigger thanks to Apple's latest iPad, which sold three million units in its first three days, and its new Retina Display (the highest resolution screen for any mobile device ever) which will make reading easier and sharper.

Right now authors can implement all sorts of media into their eBooks, like audio clips, video clips, high resolution pictures, which ultimately make a book more interactive with the user.

But what's the next step?

Enter: Coliloquy, a publisher on the Kindle that plans on taking reading to the next level.

For those of you that grew with Choose Your Own Adventure gamebooks, will find Coliloquy very similar. The difference being that they will be doing it in a digital format and mostly for Young Adult and Romance novels.

Coliloquy calls this Active Fiction, where the reader, not the author, makes choices on what will happen next in the story. This would keep the reader coming back for more to see how different choices will effect the outcome of the story. One of Coliloquy's titles, Fluid claims that it has over 500 possible pathways for a reader to choose from, that can influence the way characters in the story react with each other.

For now, Coliloquy has six titles available on Amazon and cost under $6.99. These books are sold as applications, not as static mobi. files.

A few publishing companies tried this form of storytelling in the nineties, but it failed to catch on. Nowadays, thanks to affordable technology, this could make a comeback, especially in the genres Coliloquy are publishing. Depending on its success, it could expand to other genres, allowing writers to experiment with their stories.

In the future, will Active Fiction be the new form of storytelling or will it become another forgettable fad?

Films: Why This Year Will Be One of The Best Years and Why 2011 Was Forgettable.

2012-02-25T07:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm glad 2011 is over. Not because I could put Charlie Sheen's rants behind me, not because there was no iPhone 5 and not because the Yankees didn't win a World Series. I’m glad it’s over because 2012 will be better than 2011, for films at least.

This year is already shaping up to be one of the biggest years for films in quite a while. Here’s why.

Just like any other year there will be prequels such as the much-anticipated prequel to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit which Peter Jackson will helm again. Martin Freeman (The Office UK) will play the role of Bilbo Baggins and by reading the comments online about his casting, it looks like fanboys can put their bow n' arrows down.

Just like prequels, there will be sequels, such as Expendables 2 which will unite Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme on one screen. With this much testosterone, action, shooting, explosions, I could only expect viewers to be dead on arrival.

It was totally worth it...

It wouldn't be Hollywood if there weren't any biopics. Lincoln has Daniel-Day Lewis playing the 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln in a film directed by Steve Spielberg. Liam Neeson was attached to play Lincoln for years now, but dropped out before production started. Sure I was bummed out, but when they said Daniel-Day frickin' Lewis was playing Lincoln; I put on my Nostradamus hat and said, "Daniel-Day Lewis will win his third Oscar next year."

Now that it's become a trend to re-release classic films in 3D (Hollywood considers 10 year old films classics), this year we will see Finding Nemo in 3D and Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 3D. Just when you thought crazy Jim Cameron couldn't squeeze out another penny from the 3D craze he has infused in films since Avatar, he will be releasing Titanic in 3D. That's right, TITANIC IN 3D. We can now see Kate Winslet's breast in 3D and not to mention Billy Zane's toupee in 3D! Now, if we can only see Bill Paxton's two-dimensional performance in 3D....

Maybe if I put my hand under my chin, I'll look more interesting...

How about the summertime, isn't that when we usually see all the superhero flicks? Yes, and this year is going to be bigger than ever. To start out this pomp, there will be The Avengers, which puts together Iron Man, The Hulk, Captain America, Nick Fury and Scarlett Johansson in tight leather gear. What else could you ask for?

Then there's The Amazing Spider Man, which is a reboot of the Spider Man franchise with Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) playing Peter Parker/Spider-Man and Emma Stone playing Gwen Stacey, the love interest.

The Avengers and Spider Man, so what, you may say, but I'll see your Iron Mans and Spider Mans and raise you a Batman! That's right, none of these superhero movies will quite live up to the hype behind The Dark Knight Rises and we'll see if the Academy grows a pair and nominates a superhero film for best picture.

Why do I have a feeling that I'll cry at the end?

Still not getting the picture of how kickass 2012 will be for movies? Then check out this list of films being released this year.

With that being said let’s take a look back at the forgettable year 2011 was for films. First, let me start out with the highlights:

There was the anticipated final installment of the Harry Potter series that received the best reviews in the franchise and yet no nomination for Alan frickin' Rickman as Professor Snape.

There were a few films that I expected absolutely nothing from but walked out very pleased, like Warrior, X-Men: First Class and The Rise of the Planet of the Apes and yet no nomination for Andy frickin' Serkis!

"You have robbed me twice, Academy. Twice!"

Kudos to Bridesmaids, the first film that I can think of in where women show that they can carry a film and be just as funny as men. But as funny as Melissa McCarthy was, did she really deserve a Best Supporting Actress nomination? I don't think so.

The most anticipated film in 2011 for me was The Tree of Life. After hearing about it since 2007, I waited and waited patiently for Terrance Malick's film, even after hearing early reports that Dinosaurs were in it and that audiences at the Cannes film Festival walked out calling it a clusterfuck of nonsense, even then, I still wanted to see it. The end result? The boldest and most imaginative film I have seen since 2001: A Space Odyssey.

But the film that dropped kicked most of these movies came from a little place called Iran. That's right, A Separation was my favorite film of 2011. It shows a modern day Iran where cars drive through paved streets and where woman are starting to be seen as equals. No other film moved me quite like this one and the effects are still present.

Now, for the bad stuff:

For starters, my biggest disappointment in 2011 was Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris. Just about every critic said that this was Allen's best film in twenty years and I ate that mantra up like a slice of cheesecake. Then I watched the film and I'm still wondering what the big deal was. Sure the Allenesque qualities were there, along with those surreal, magical moments that I come to expect from him, but seriously, this isn't his best film in twenty years. Say what you will, but I've been a huge Woody Allen film since I was sixteen and I have watched, I'd say, 95% of his films, so I think my insights in Mr. Allen's films have a great deal of validity.

**Woody Allen pops out from behind a sign** "I heard what you were saying. You know nothing of my work. You mean that my whole fallacy is wrong. How you ever got the nerve to pontificate like this on a blog, is beyond me."

How about the Superhero flicks in 2011? First, both Marvel and DC comics decided to release movies based on superheroes no one really cares about, or I don't at least. I never cared for Thor or Captain America (it's all about Batman!) growing up, but I thought of how Marvel took their B-list superhero Iron Man and made him into a bona fide superhero, then I thought they had it in them to deliver the good on both Thor and Captain America. While critics gave both films decent reviews, I personally thought they were just as uninteresting as I remember them being when I was a kid.

And don't get me started with The Green Lantern....

Then came sequels that were just as bad as their predecessors, sequels I don't even have to watch to know that they will lower my IQ level and probably require me do undergo cataract surgery. Turds like Transformers 3: Dark of The Moon, Twilight: Breaking Dawn and Hangover II, that will keep on seeing more sequels as long as tasteless urchins go and see this crap.

The fall season came along and this is that time of year where all the Oscar-bait films are released, especially biopics, which are a vehicle for actors to win an Oscar. Seriously, look at the past winners in the past ten years and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's the easiest way an actor can get at least a nomination and most likely a win. No other biopic in 2011 yelled out Oscar desperation quite like J. Edgar, especially from Leo DiCaprio. Everyone thought Leo would be a shoe-in for Best Actor, but then the film was released and whatever hope there was for that Oscar, vanished. I expected more from Clint Eastwood, but then again he hasn't had a solid film since Letters from Iwo Jima.

Hugo was high on my list, not only because it is a tribute to cinema in general, but because the master himself, Martin Scorsese, was directing it. Then I saw the film and I waited for something to happen, but it wasn’t until the last half-hour of the film that something started happening.

The last time Alexander Payne was behind the camera -- and not co-writing shit like I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry -- was when he released Sideways back in 2004, which was one of the best films of the past decade. Therefore, I was psyched when I heard about how The Descendantswas Payne's best film to date and how Clooney gives the finest performance of his career. Most of it is true (there's no topping Sideways, I'm sorry), but for some reason it didn’t leave that impression his others films left on me.

The film everyone talked about in 2011 and one of the best-reviewed films was The Artist. This was another film that I was excited to see because I'm a big fan of silent films. I don't want to spoil anything but the ending destroyed whatever magic The Artist had going for it and it nearly destroyed the entire film. If it wasn't for that charming Jean DuJardin bastard, then it might have.

Obama Vs. The Crazy Ones, or, How An Obama Campaign Ad Has Me Thinking Twice Before Voting For Him

2012-02-15T21:31:00.001-08:00

For those of you that have been keeping track of the GOP primary should know by now that none of the clowns trying to get a nomination to represent the Republican party should be voted as President of the United States of America.

You can complain about Obama all you want, but if you don't know about about the so-called candidates ready to run against him, then here is a brief rundown on The Crazy Ones, the ones who don't see things differently.

Mitt Romney, Mr. I-decided-to-turn-into-a-true-conservative-after-I-saw-how-well-it-went-with-Santorum, still uses his coined phrase "self-deportation" in debates. I don't think he realizes how he will explain that oxymoron to the 11.2 million illegal immigrants in the US.

"Self-Deportation!"

Rick Santorum, father of three daughters and four sons, says that women shouldn't serve in the Army. Yet, I highly doubt he would let his sons serve in the Army. He also says that he has no problems with homosexuals, just homosexual acts. If this is his way of being funny, then he is the funniest guy in the room...room full of baffled people.

"You get it? I still have a problem with Gays!"

Newt Gingrich. Where to begin with this guy. Well, he's been married three times....Freddie Mac payed him $1.5 million dollars to lobby legislators to support them, then, just last year, Gingrich argued to get rid of Freddie Mac. So this guy takes their money and then wants to wave them goodbye as taxpayers are stuck paying the $154 billion dollars it cost the government to bail them out. He also wants to create the first moon colony by 2020 (he's already predicting a two-term presidency, by the way) that would allow mining moon minerals like Helium 3 (used as fuel for nuclear fusion) and in the process making the US a shitload of money. The problem? The Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which states:

The exploration and use of outer space shall be carried out for the benefit and in the interests of all countries and shall be the province of all mankind;
Outer space shall be free for exploration and use by all States;
Outer space is not subject to national appropriation by claim of sovereignty, by means of use or occupation, or by any other means;

Sorry, Newt :(

"To Infinity and --- fuck, there's a Space Treaty.."

Ron Paul, I wonder if there is a suit out there that can fit you. No, but really, this gentleman claims that he knew nothing about his own newsletters, that circulated in the 90s, that talked about 'gunning down on '"Urban Youth". In layman terms, that means shooting the minority, but not in a metaphorical sense either, it means shooting them down with an actual gun. Then, the newsletters go on to talk about how the government created AIDS (put on your pointy tin foil hats everyone) and the real zinger is that Paul, or whoever wrote the newsletters (most likely Paul), renamed New York City: "Welfaria", "Lazyopolis" and "Rapetown"

If this whole Presidential thing doesn't work out for Paul, I see a future for him writing straight-to-DVD-films bearing the aforementioned names.

With buffoons like this trying to be President, what will happen to the U.S?

Say what you will about Obama, but at least the U.S is starting to get back on track in one way or another. Millions of jobs have been created in the past few years, unemployment has been going down (slowly but surely), Bin Laden is dead, the US troops left Iraq, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and he isn't planning on renaming New York City to "Dirtberg".

Now, Obama has my vote come November, but I will have a hard time checking that square next to his name on the ballots because of this campaign ad:

The first minute and a half of the video is fine with me, it's actually nice and inspirational fluff that will get people to vote for Obama again.

Then, it all goes down hill from there with stuff like,

Obama 'dirting' off his shoulder
Obama dancing with Ellen
Obama smacking his wife's ass
Fist bumps

By the two minute mark it changes its tone, back to the inspiring stuff....

Then it goes crashing back down like Enron stocks with crap like,

Obama listening to the Golden girls theme
Ninja President
Obama singing

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Obama singing, dancing, swatting flies as if he were Mister Mi-fucking-yagi. It shows us that our President is cool and hip, we get it. At a time, however, where he is getting excrement thrown at him from the left and right side (see what I did?), I doubt that this is the kind of message he wants to put out there.

Or did he forget about how Republicans tore him a new one for taking a vacation?

Leaving Out The Parts That People Skip

2012-01-22T13:29:00.000-08:00

Murakami's 1Q84: Finished. And by finished I don't only mean that I finally finished the 900+ paged book, but also, that I'm through with reading any novel that touches the millennial page mark.

At the time, having never read any of Murakami's novels, such as Norwegian Wood or Kafka on the Shore, I thought it was best to read his latest novel to get a sense of the guy and his work, After hearing positive reviews for the book, I decided to dive right in.

So I spent the last three months reading Murakami's latest novel 1Q84. The end result? Well, I'm not going to review the book because I'm not going to go into why Murakami thinks it is necessary to spend pages describing skies, misshapen heads, penises and seminal fluids. Seriously, he does.

1Q84 could have been easily trimmed down to 300 or 500 pages and still get to the point, without spending hours reading through the descriptions described above. I wonder if the editor fell asleep halfway through reading this clump and just decided that it was fine just the way it was.

I'm trying to wrap my head around why novels need to be this long. Just look at one of my favorite writers of all time, Elmore Leonard, who is the epitome of a concise writer. As the man says, "I try to leave out the parts that people skip". Not only does he try, but he succeeds in every single one of his books, whether they are bad or good.

Other writers in his genre (crime) tend to doze off in pages and pages of nonsensical descriptions. Just look at Steig Larsson with his Millennium Trilogy, but Leonard is a master at his craft and he fills each and every single one of his pages with necessary information. Leonard's latest novel, Raylan clocks in at under 300 pages and I don't need to read it to know that he leaves out all of the parts that people skip.

Why can't other writers do the same? Why do they have to fill pages that the ordinary reader will just skip?

Same goes for word count. Publishers, especially from any of the big 6 publishing houses, expect their writers to write a certain amount of words based on what genre they are writing. So if you're a Fantasy writer, they expect your book to have 200,000+ words. A young adult book should be over 100,000 words. These are antiquated rules that make the writer waste pages writing stuff that can easily be omitted, just so they could meet that word count that they are expected to reach.

The point I'm trying to make is that any genre writer shouldn't give themselves a hard time if they can't reach a certain page or word count. Remember, Rules were meant to be broken. Only because other writers are going around following these rules doesn't mean you have to. After all, that's why so many are self-publishing, so they can have complete control of their work without anyone else telling them how it's done.

To all writers out there, remember:

Leave out the parts that people skip!

And This is Why eBooks Will Never Replace Real Books

2012-01-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

By now, everyone knows that eBooks are the future when it comes to reading. eBook sales have been tripling in the last couple of years and printed book sales have been dropping fast. This has to do with reading tablets such as the Kindle and iPad that allows us to carry around an entire library in our hands. The convenience factor is great considering that anyone would rather lug around their slim tablet with Game of Thrones in it, as opposed to carrying all 800+ pages of Game of Thrones.

Also, Publishing Companies charge way more for a printed book than an ebook. Of course they spend money on printing a book as opposed to just formatting an eBook, but keep in mind that it only costs a publisher about $3.25 to print and ship a book. While I understand their need to turn a profit but it's ridiculous to charge up to $30 for a book, when you can get the eBook version for half, or sometimes less than half that price.

And now, tablets/eReaders are becoming more and more affordable. You can get an Amazon Kindle for as low as $79 or a Barnes & Noble Nook for free (with a one-year subscription to The New York Times).

Need I say more? eBooks will replace Real Books....

Books will become like those VHS tapes that you probably have lying around in your basement along with all the other antiquated things like cassette tapes, game cartridges and vinyl records. Blame technology if you will, but it is an inevitable thing that eBooks will replace real, printed books.

The other day I went into a bookstore, just to browse around, and I came across Haruki Murakami's 1Q84, which by the way was selling for $30! (It's under $20 on Amazon though). I've been reading this book in eBook format and I never gave much thought about the cover, which looks like this:

Holding the actual book in my hand and scrutinizing every detail about it was just, dare I say, magical. I can't remember the last time I held a book because I have been doing all my reading on my iPhone. The book has a semi-transparent vellum jacket that looks like this:

Once you take the jacket off, it reveals that woman's face and immediately it draws you into the book. Pictures can't do justice to the actual thing and it could never show off the creativity and skill put into designing the cover. It's just like that with eBooks, we're left with a thumbnail of the cover that could never replicate the real thing.

But that's not why eBooks will never replace Real Books. I could go on and talk about how ePages can't replace the scent and feel of actual book pages, but that's just common sense. Do yourself a favor and check out this video and then you'll see why eBooks will never replace Books. I promise you that it will be the best thing you've seen all day:

Daniel Day-Lewis Should Play Steve Jobs

2011-11-30T19:52:00.000-08:00

A few days after Steve Jobs passed away, Sony Pictures purchased the rights to his, then, unreleased biography by Walter Isaacson. Since then, there has been all sorts of rumors about who would play Steve Jobs, ranging from Noah Wyle -- who played Steve in the TV film Pirates of Silicon Valley -- to George Clooney.

Today, the first picture emerged from Daniel Day-Lewis on the set of Lincoln, the Steven Spielberg directed biopic, and it goes without saying that he looks a lot like America's 16th President

via Richmond.com

So why should Daniel-Day Lewis play Steve Jobs?

For starters, anyone who has seen Daniel-Day Lewis act in such films as My Left Foot, which he won a Best Actor Oscar, In the Name of the Father, Gangs of New York or There Will be Blood, which he won his second Best Actor Oscar, goes without saying that he is one of the greatest actors of all time. He clearly has no problem losing himself in each role he plays and not to mention the research he does for them.

The man built the house his character in The Crucible, John Proctor, lived in just because he's that dedicated to his characters!

Now, I'm not a Photoshop expert by any means, but I took the same Abe Lincoln picture of Daniel Day-Lewis and blurred out the hair and goatee, to make him look like Steve Jobs and this is the end result:

Yes, I see it happening, he's even dressed like him. Now let's hope Hollywood sees it the same way...

This World is Going Nowhere

2011-10-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

There are all sorts of crazy things that go on everyday that prove that the world we live in is not headed in the right direction. I'm not talking about the never ending wars throughout the world or the natural disasters that cause the deaths of thousands of people and destruction of millions of homes; I'm talking about the things people do to make everything worst.

Guilty as Charged....

How Food is leading us nowhere:

Who loves the McDonalds McRib? Yes, I love the McDonalds McRib as much as the next guy, but ever since I read on TIME Healthland that America's favorite limited-edition-sandwich contains azodicarbonamide, a flour-bleaching agent that is found in shoe soles and gym mats, I will have a hard time even looking at the damn thing.

I highly doubt that celestial hands are going to hand anyone a McRib

The worst part about it is that azodicarbonamide is a compound that Europe and Australia banned because it is a food additive and England's Health and Safety Executive says that it could contribute to asthma if one is exposed to it.

Not to mention that a McRib has 980 mg of Sodium (!) and 10g of saturated fat, which means that if you have McRib Fever and decide to stock up on as many as you can for you and your family before they disappear, there's a good chance that your kids are going to look like this:

How Books are leading us nowhere:

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, from Jersey Shore fame, could add New York Times Bestselling Author as one of the things she is known for besides being a Jersey Shore cast member.

She has already written two books, A Shore Thing and her upcoming Confessions of a Guidette.

I would rather eat a McRib that to read this.

The fact that A Shore Thing was a bestseller means that Confessions will follow that same track because if people were dumb enough to read anything from someone who is clearly not competent enough to write a book, then they will think Confessions is the next Ulysses or Gatsby for that matter...

How Campaign Ads are leading us nowhere:

Campaign Ads are boring, pseudo-inspiring, depressing and full of shit; that's how it's always been and there's no reason to change that formula.

But former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain believes that Campaign Ads are worth reinventing, which leads me to this campaign ad that will leave you baffled.

I don't know what's creepier, this Mark Block guy mumbling about how great Herman Cain is and ending it off with a cigarette break, or Herman Cain starting at the Camera and letting out a cheesy grin.

But if you think that's weird, believe me, you're yet to know the meaning of weird. Take a look at an earlier campaign ad entitled "He Carried Yellow Flowers"

I'd rather go back to the boring, pseudo-inspiring, depressing and full of shit campaign ads than to try and find the meaning behind He Carried Yellow Flowers.

How Vanity is leading us nowhere:

For the monocle-wearing and curly mustache twitching snobs that want to add some more extravagance to their humble Almas Caviar or their Golden Tigerfish, there just happens to be a solution for that and it comes in a bottle.

And here I am giving the McRib a bum rap

The Deli Garage intends to fulfill the needs of those who want to add a coat of gold spray paint on their food. There is all sorts of food additives and flavors within the spray so you don't end up eating just a bunch of gold paint.

Seriously is this necessary?

How CliffNotes is leading us nowhere:

Yes, I'm talking about CliffNotes, that little guide we've all used one time or another to avoid reading an entire book. The purpose of reading a book is to enjoy every single aspect of it, even if there are long and draggy parts, but there's a purpose to it. You can't say that you've read One Hundred Years of Solitude only because you've read a couple of chapter synopsis from CliffNotes; it's just not the same thing.

Apparently it seems that the folks over at CliffNotes are thinking just like the people who think reading is boring. This is their solution:

Yep, CliffNotes Films the fastest way to learn. They forgot to add the laziest way to learn as well. This is just what we need in a country where 1 in 4 people do not read books..

How Movies and Music are leading us nowhere:

Need I say More?

Movies, Books and Music

2011-10-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love at least one of these things? You can't go wrong with movies, books or music. Of course not all of us share the same tastes for these things. Some will say Transformers is the greatest movie of all time and I'll just simply laugh and wish they would slip on a banana peel or something...but not really.

Some will say that books are boring and that they prefer to read Facebook statuses, and I'll say "to each his own" or "get a life"....but not really.

Some will say that Justin Bieber is the greatest when it comes to music, and I'll just put cotton swabs in my ears to prevent them from bleeding....but not really.

In the end, everyone sees and hears different from all of us and it's just a waste of time getting people to see things our way. I can't beat it into a person's head that The Godfather or Ikiru are the greatest films ever made, or that reading a book is the greatest exercise for our imagination, or that Justin Bieber isn't really music. I'd like to, but I can't.

With that being said, these are my recommendations for Movies, Books and Music for this week.

Movie

Paranormal Activity 3

I'm not that into these so-called horror films that come out nowadays, but I liked the first Paranormal Activity. It wasn't the greatest horror movie ever made, but it was entertaining and it managed to make me jump out of my seat a few times. I skipped the second Paranormal Activity because I had heard from plenty of people that it sucked.

Now, I heard good things about Paranormal Activity 3 and decided to check it out.

No, it doesn't reinvent the wheel or anything and No, the story is not good. But Yes, it will catch you off guard every time and scare the hell out of you.

The thing with PA 3 is that it's smart filmmaking. I'm not saying it's great-Scorsese-like filmmaking, I'm just saying that it's smart. It's smart in the way it sets the camera up in certain scenes; and you're anticipating for something crazy to happen, but nothing happens and instead it tortures you for a while. Then when you've got your guard down, that crazy thing you were waiting for a few minutes ago, comes on and catches you off guard.

Book

Haruki Murakami's 1Q84

I've never read any of Murakami's books before. I have a few of his books like Kafka on the Shore and the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, but I haven't gotten around to reading them.

I've chosen 1Q84 to be the first Murakami book I read.

Sure it clocks in at almost 930 pages, but so far, three chapters into it, all I can say is that it's hypnotizing...

Music

Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto

Say what you will about Coldplay, but damn can these guys make some catchy music. I was sort of skeptical about this new album of theirs Mylo Xyloto, because I don't know what it means nor do I know how to pronounce it.

Regardless of it's odd title, Mylo Xyloto is an incredible album. From the album's first song, Hurts Like Heaven -- the only Coldplay song that you can actually dance to -- to the surreal Princess of China, which features Rihanna, the entire album will be on repeat for months to come.

Oh Herman Cain, You Odd, Odd Man

2011-10-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't follow U.S politics or for those of you who don't give a damn, then you might not know who Herman Cain is.

Who is Herman Cain? Well...I'm not going to write out the man's biography, but I'll try to be as concise as possible and say that he is a business man and former CEO of Godfather's Pizza running for President on the Republican Party side.

Image via liveleak

What makes Herman Sherman so interesting is the ideas that bubble up in that head of his.

Take this for example,

He whipped up a plan that would reform the tax code. This plan of his is called the "999 plan", which plans to replace the current tax code with 9% tax for Corporate, National and Sales Tax.

Now, for anyone who has played Sim City, doesn't this sound all too familiar?

That's right, 9% tax code is the default settings on Sim City and Herman Cain is feeling it. When media outlets asked Cain, if indeed he sought a video game for inspiration, he said that he didn't, but it sure sounds fishy though.

Okay, so he might have or might have not gotten his tax code plan from a video game, so what's so bad about this guy?

Well, he ~~likes~~ loves pizza!.

Don't get me wrong, I love pizza as much as the next guy, but Herman Cain admitted to eating pizza at least six times a week! How is this man still alive?

Him liking pizza doesn't make him a bad guy, but do yourself a favor and check out this video:

The man is singing about pizza and worst of all, to the sounds of John Lennon's Imagine.

Now, a new Rasmussen poll has Mr. Pizza-Loving Herman Cain with a 43% advantage over Barrack Obama's 41% in a general election matchup.

I know we can't look into these things considering that polls will change within a year from now when the real election gets underway and we still don't know if Herman Cain will represent the Republican party.
Let's just say that that poll holds up all the way until election day and Herman Cain is named the new President of the United States; do we really need a man singing about fast food to a nation that has 33% of obese adults and 17% of obese children?

I don't think so.

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

Image via fauxtistics.

Rest in Peace Steve.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs

"[Y]ou can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." - Steve Jobs

Who Would Make a Perfect Ignatius J. Reilly?

2011-10-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

Back in 2009 I came across an article (don't remember which one) that listed the funniest books ever written. Among those were Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions, Slaughterhouse-Five, Kingsley Amis's Lucky Jim and Joseph Heller's Catch-22. Then there was A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole.

When I went to the library to pick up some of these titles, it so happened that they didn't carry any of them, except for A Confederacy of Dunces (what library doesn't carry Vonnegut?!). I was sort of dissapointed because I went there hoping to get Vonnegut's books and Catch-22 after hearing that they are the popular choices. So I just took A Confederacy of Dunces and went home.

Just by looking at the cover of the book, I didn't know what to expect: A large man dressed like a bum and a bird pecking at his ear. Still, I opened the book and began to read.

Within a few pages I found myself laughing out loud and each page just got more and more insane. The reason for this is not so much the story (there almost isn't one), but it's the book's protagonist Ignatius J. Reilly. If you haven't read the book then I won't spoil it for you, but Ignatius is one of the funniest characters in all of literature; from the way he talks, thinks and looks.

Now, I came across this article at Moviefone, that has Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) saying:

"I've read two books in my life, and I'd like to do 'Confederacy of Dunces' -- which will never happen"

It's true. Hollywood has been trying to make a big screen adaptation of the book since the 70's and all sorts of actors have been attached to play Ignatius; from John Candy, John Belushi, Chris Farley and most recently Will Farrell -- since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005 (where the book takes place), the studio decided to pull the plug. There was also a rumor going around that the role of Ignatius was cursed because every actor (until Farrell) that was supposed to star in it, died after taking the role (Candy, Belushi, Farley and Divine).

Still, if the film were to get a green light, who would make a perfect Ignatius J. Reilly?

In my humble opinion, I think Danny McBride would be absolutely perfect.

Making Cuts on my iPhone, Obama Style

2011-09-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

I look at how much little space I have left on my iPhone and I know I need to makes some cuts. The only way to do this is by acting like President Barrack Obama; I have to make cuts to make deficit reductions.

First, I look at Audio and some cuts need to be made…..

Sorry Lady Gaga, after that horrendous attempt at an Alter Ego at the VMA’s a couple of weeks ago, Born this Way will no longer be one of the Top 25 Most Played songs on my iTunes and in fact, I have boycotted all of your music from my iPhone.

Sorry Brandon Flowers, your solo album has been sitting in my iPhone since you released it last year and I’ve only listened to three songs on it.

Sorry David Guetta, your songs make me want to look as dumb as the Jersey Shore cast and pump my fists in the air and at times, I find myself dancing in the gym, but I am yet to understand why YOUR name appears on albums when you don’t even sing a damn song.

Sorry My Chemical Romance, I was a big fan of your previous CDs, but Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, just isn’t working out for me. You guys can Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na) your way out of my iPhone.

Sorry Nicki Minaj, I was expecting Pink Friday to be a Rap album from the same chick that said that if she had a dick she will pull it out and piss on them.

Sorry Green Day, my sister is right, there is nothing interesting in seeing forty year dudes wearing eye-liner and dressing in tight nut-huggers. I will keep you Dookie CD though.

Sorry Beyonce, your baby bump was fake.

Sorry Bad Meets Evil, the Jay-Z & Kanye CD came out….

Sorry Lil’ Wayne, I’m yet to understand anything about you.

Sorry Glee Cast, wait, how’d that get in there?...

Photos, you can stay, heck, even my finger painting

Apps, oh, Apps

Sorry Angry Birds, I can destroy an entire environment with two birds and I still get a one-star rating.

Sorry Doodle Jump, I will never be able to top off the 10,638,423 high score ……. Why keep trying?

Sorry Shakespeare app, I will not ask ‘to be or not to be’, because your stuff doesn’t age well.

Sorry Ocarina, the guy playing his real instrument at the party attracts more people.

Sorry BaldBooth, the future is scary….

Sorry Flickr, I get more likes on Instagram.

Sorry iMuscle, your 3D workouts gave me nightmares.

Sorry DropBox, your new terms and conditions suck.

Sorry The Wall Street Journal, I can’t afford your subscription fee.

Sorry SketchBook Mobile, my drawings look nothing like the ones on your webpage.

Sorry every single Kairosoft game, your games have consumed millions of hours of my life. I'm reformed now.

Books

Sorry Brett Easton Ellis, Imperial Bedrooms proves that you’ve lost your marbles.

Sorry Steig Larsson, your Millennium trilogy made me lose months of my life that I will never get back. Looking forward to the movie though.

Sorry free BookByte Digital ebooks, I only downloaded you for your cool, hand drawn covers, sorry.

Sorry Winnie-the-Poo-copy-that-came-with-iBooks, my iPhone is jailbroken and you won’t open.

Sorry George R.R Martin, I wish your Samples would last longer.

Other

Now how do I find this out….

This is What Happens When Robin Slaps Batman

2011-09-14T03:09:00.001-07:00

I finished reading Batman: The Cult, a graphic novel that has the caped crusader kidnapped by a Cult (duh!) of creeps that worship some crazy priest guy who looks like John Smith from Pocahontas and is on more steroids than Batman himself.

The Cult is one of the best Batman graphic novels I have read and it is one of the most underrated ones. Sure, The Dark Knight Returns, Year One, The Long Halloween and The Killing Joke are among the best Batman graphic novels ever, but it amazes me that The Cult is not on that list.

Even though The Cult has a creepy and serious storyline, there was one funny panel:

That’s what happens when Robin tries to be a tough guy. His insignificant hand couldn’t deal with the blow. It’s no wonder he got his brains bashed in Death in the Family.

Serves you right, buddy, serves you right.

Typo: Hot Dogs

2011-08-29T06:03:00.000-07:00

If I didn't see an actual hot dog next to the word Hot Dots, I would've never known what the hell it was.

HOT DOTS!

Steve Jobs

2011-08-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

To anyone who has read the Batman graphic novel Knightfall, will know about Bane breaking Bruce Wayne's back and leaving him as a paraplegic, which leads him to hand over the Batman costume over to some schlep named Jean-Paul Valley. No one can replace Bruce Wayne. That's sort of how I feel about Steve Jobs handing the throne over to Tim Cook. I'm sure Tim Cook will hold up as the new CEO of Apple (he's done it several times since 2009), but he can't replace Steve Jobs. No one can.

I'm not going to lie, but I was pretty bummed out about it because I look at Steve Jobs as one of the few people who have actually changed our world. Love him or hate him, the man is responsible for redesigning the PC or phone you are viewing this posting from right now. He changed the way we use technology and how it has become a part of our life. In case you don't know what the man is responsible for, check out the 313 patents to his name. Steve Jobs is hands down the greatest CEO and businessman of all-time and one of the greatest inventors as well.
Despite him resigning as CEO from Apple, that's not to say that things will change. After all it's not like he retired for good; his involvement in Apple is still a big one as Chairman of the Board and they will still dish out the best products in the world. According to the Wall Street Journal:

People familiar with the situation have said that Mr. Jobs continues to be active at Apple and is closely involved in the company's product strategy. Apple watchers don't expect that to change even after Mr. Cook takes over.

It's still not known why Steve resigned as CEO but everything points at his chronic health issues. Here is an excerpt from his resignation letter:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

Like I said, I don't think things are going to change at Apple, but it's definitely the end of an era.
I'll leave you with what I believe is one of the most important speeches ever given, by the man himself and it's changed my life in every way. I hope it has the same effect on you.

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me. - Steve Jobs

I Hope "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Movie is Better Than the Book

2011-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

After hearing that David Fincher (The Social Network, Fight Club, Seven) aka Mr. I'm-yet-to-make-a-bad film was directing the US remake of The Girl in the Dragon Tattoo (there's been a Swedish version made already) and Steve Zailian (Schindler's List, Awakenings, Gangs of New York) was writing the screenplay, I decided to take a look at the book everyone was talking about.

I heard great things from everyone about Steig Larsson's Millennium Trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest) and after reading a sample chapter for the first book, I decided to go all out and buy the trilogy.

Now, a month and a half later and two of the three books read, all I can say is that I am yet to figure out what the big deal is. Don't get me wrong, they are decent books and Larsson had the ability to make his books page-turners, even if they included obnouxious descriptions and dialogue like the ones down below.

"Blomkvist made two more espressos. He apologized when he lit a cigarette. Paolo Roberto shrugged."

or

"The refrigerator contained an open milk carton, some cheese, butter, caviar, and a half-empty jar of pickled gherkins."

or, this brilliant piece of dialogue.

"Blomkvist, I'm on skrrritch skrrritch a van with Miriam"

The only good thing that kept me reading these books (I'm still hesitant about picking up Hornets Nest) is Lisbeth Salander. She is hands-down one of the best female characters in fiction. If you haven't read any of the books, then the only reason I would recommend them is to know how Salander's story unfolds.

After seeing the first trailer of the film released months ago, I was somewhat dissapointed that it was more like a teaser trailer, but if you have a good eye, you'll be able to recognize some of the scenes from the book.

Yesterday, Productions stills were released of Rooney Mara (The Social Network) as Lisbeth Salander and by the looks of the picture, she looks exactly how Salander is described in the book.....

.....Freaky

So far so good, I guess. I hope this reportedly $100 Million dollar production is better than the mediocre book it's based on and if it does good in the box office, expect to see the other two books turned adapted into films (I honestly don't know how they can make a movie out of The Girl who Played with Fire).

Now I'm waiting for a full trailer to come up soon.

Uncanny "Catch Me If You Can" Movie Cover

2011-08-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

There is all sorts of wrong with this cover. First off, I can't remember any film in which DiCaprio wore an outfit like this. If I had to take a wild guess, it looks like a General's Uniform (?). Then, if you look close enough and compare his head with the rest of his body, it is clearly photoshopped. Same goes for Tom Hanks.

Now, if you look under the photoshopped gentlemen, you'll see an actual clip of Tom Hanks with his crew in the film, but what in the name of all that is mighty is going on in the background? Hummers exploding! When? Did I miss this part in the film?

Last, just take a look behind these two, it looks like a futuristic city, sort of looks like the one in Blade Runner. Also, look northeast of Tom's Head and you'll see a helicopter towing a car.

Who ever made this atrocity only got one thing right, and that's an accurate translation of the movie title.

Misspelled Words: Brownie

2011-07-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

Definition of Brownie from Dictionary.com

brownie

[brou-nee]

–noun

1. a tiny, fanciful, good-natured brown elf who secretly helps atnight with household chores. (That's Hilarious!)

2. a small, chewy, cakelike cookie, usually made with chocolate and containing nuts.

So what in the name of all that is sacred is this:

BRAWNI!

"All God's Chillun Got Rhythm"

2011-06-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

This is a clip from the Marx Brother's film "A Day at the Races". Watch it, it's simply amazing!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WatPo9B1Ph0]

Misspelled Word: Cheesecake

2011-06-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

Chiskey = Cheesecake!

The Lakes in the National Park of Cajas in Ecuador

2011-06-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

One of them is called "Taitachugo" which translates in English to Father Bird......it's funnier in Spanish......
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