Ambivalent

Birthday Thanks

2015-10-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

2015-09-14T07:46:00.001-07:00

2015-09-09T01:39:00.004-07:00

Chris Berman's Nicknames

2009-05-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Chris Berman's Nicknames

ESPN announcer Chris Berman enjoys making puns out of sports figures' names. Here is the DEFINITIVE list:
A

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René Kook Arocha
Tony Brothers in Armas
Scott Respect Your Aldred
Brady Bunch Anderson
Shawn Lil' Abner
Rick See Ya Later Aguilera
Juan Real Agosto
Steve Ebony and Avery
Mike You're in Good Hands with Allstott
Luis Alicea in Wonderland
Joey Cask Of Amalfatano
Rich Protect Your Car With Amaral
Mike Enough Aldretti
Bill Almon Joy
Roberto Remember the Alomar
Doyle Brandy Alexander
Dana Allison Wonderland
Joaquin the Dog Andujar
Paul Orville Assenmacher
Jim Hey Abbott
Oscar Azocar Named Desire
Steve Poison Avery
Jesus Skip To My Alou
David Green Akers

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Pedro Borbon Street
Bernardo Brito Supreme
Jeff Pin the Tail on the Bronkey
Jesse Belly Up to the Barfield
Rod Beck Beck Beck Beck Beck
Rafael Good Day at the Old Belliard
Jay Ferris Buhner
Scott Tallulah Bankhead
Joe Leave It to Boever
Bruce Bochy Ball
Bert Be Home Blyleven
George Taco Bell
Greg Life Of Briley
Mike Private Benjamin
Dave Ingmar Bergman
Jason Raspberry Bere
Ron Chevy Blazier
Mike April Blowers
Bruce Eggs Benedict
Barry Savings Bonds
Bud Paint It Black
Scott Milton Bradley
Todd Mercedes Benzinger
Lance You've Sunk my Blankenship
Kevin Small Mouth Bass
Billy Lima Beane
Wade Cranberry Boggs
Dave Burba Shave
Bret Barberie Coast
Daryl Please Come to Boston
Britt Third Degree Burns
Hubie Babbling Brooks
Greg Crocodile Brock
Ryan BowenArrow
Jeff Brown Paper Bagwell
Ricky Bad to the Bones
Mark Beetle Bailey
Marty Grin and Barrett
Floyd Up and Down the Bannister
Tim Humphrey Bogard
Ricky Signing Bones
Bobby Bad To The Bonilla
Scott Am Brosius
Randy Burning Bush
Craig Matinee at the Biggio
Pat South of the Borders
Dante Inferno Bichette
Esteban Bats In the Beltre
Jeff See Through Blauser
Harold Growing Baines
Tom Lightning Bolton
Andy the Merchant of Benes
John Charcoal Burkett
Tom Here's a Story of a Man Named Brady
Damon Blue Berryhill
Bill Bubble Bath
Ross I Never Promised You A Baumgarten
Stan Belinda Carlisle
Pat Side Burns
Scott Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius
Matt Son Of A Beech
Juan Less Bell to Answer
Carlos One if by Land, Two if Baerga
Eric Sleeping with Bienemy
Andy Merchant of Benes
Jerome You Better You Better You Bettis
Matt Werewolves of Blundin
Mike Room and Bordick
Rob My Birona

===============================================================

Ron Born in the US Cey
David Sili Cone
Todd Caribbean Cruz
Greg Life Is a Cadaret
Jose Can You See Canseco
Ivan Bubbling Calderon
Wil Bungee Cordero
Francisco Umbilical Cordova
Pat OK Corrales
Steve Kentucky Fried Chitren
Tom Cotton Candiotti
Mark Carreon My Wayward Son
Henry Ava Cotto
Mark Crystal Clear
Sylvester Swallows Return to Campusano
Ken Get Off My Cloude
Danny Van Clyburn
Dave Vodka Collins
Joey Alba Cora
Royce A Roni Clayton
Gene Lamont Cranston
Ty Corn on the Cobb
Ken Helmet Caminiti
Dennis Short Order Cook
Jeff Conine the Barbarian
Steve Short Order Cooke
Scott Little Deuce Cooper
Joe Sergeant Carter
Chuck Creme de la Crim
Cris If I Were a Carpenter
Mike Cameron Swayze
My Cousin Vinny Castilla
Chuck Baby You Can Drive My Carr
Golden Archi Cianfrocco
Dave Clark Five
Mark Clark Bar
Tim Pablo Crews
Casey Sixteen Candaele
Bob Sister Christian
Jose Can You See Cruz
Ben Winter Coates
Hey You Get Off of Mike Cloud
Matt White Cassel

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Kal Jack Daniels
Rob Bomba Deer
Rich Dotson 280z

Mike Well Dunne Leon Bull Durham Jody Davis Eyes
Bill Doran Duran Bo Buenos Diaz Jim 2 Silhouettes on Deshaies
Eye of the Storm Davis Bill Hello Dawley Jeff Dedmon Don't Wear Plaid
Dan Salad Dreissen Jim Washer and Dwyer Mariano Slam Duncan
Ron My Darling Eric the Red Davis Brian Number 10 Downing Street
Ken Fix or Repair Dayley Rob Acey Ducey Jake Daylight Come And Me Wanna Delhomme
Red Hot Chili Davis Delino Decoconut Deshields Carlos In Delgado Da Vida
Rob Double Dibble Kelly Churchill Downs Carlos Daylight Come & Delgado Go Home
Omar Barbie Daal Danny Darwin Theory
E_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Cecil Espy N Dave No Man is an Eiland Lee Elia Kuryakin
Dave Right Engel Tom East of Edens Damion It Don't Come Easley
Joey Bette Davis Eischen Juan Re Encarnacion
F_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Jim Bela Fregosi Steve A Bridge Too Farr Steve Chariots of Fireovid
Mike Horse Fetters Brett Favre Ngugen Felix the Cat Fermin
Rollie Chicken Fingers Bob Air Forsch John Generalissimo Francisco Franco
Scott Fletcher Christian Curt Model T Ford Todd Which Hand Does He Frohwirth
Hector Sizzling Fajardo Steve Huckleberry Finley Mike Center Felder
Monty Farris Wheel Tony Prehistoric Fossas Chuck Dorsal Finley
Smokin' Lou Frazier Jeff French Frye Cliff Pink Floyd
Marvin Philadelphia Freeman Kevin Linoleum Flora Jay Fiedler on the Roof
A J Touchy Feeley Jay See Me Feely Barry Bananas Foster
G_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Greg Gagne with a Spoon Andres the Giant Gallaraga Fettucini Alfredo Griffin
Mark Amazing Grace Mike Leggo Gallego Tom Heard it Through the Glavine
Mark Federal Grant Jose Mother Guzman Tony Gwynn and Bear It
Mark Chauncey Gardner Don Down the Gullet Dwight Gooden Plenty
Tux Cito Gaston Dan Man from Gladden Bernard Innocent Until Proven Gilkey
Johnny Pass the Grubb Juan Speedy Gonzales Tom Flash Gordon
Jim Gott the Win Ron Extrava Gant Mark Woody Guthrie
Brent Rusty Gates Jason Giambi Jack Flash Nomar Mr. Nice Guy Garciaparra
Juan Going Going Gonzales Joe Grahe Flannel Ben Good Grieve
Rich Loose Gannon Bobby Seven Year Gritch Tony Gwynn One for the Gipper
Chris Gwynn the Eskimo
H_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Jay Thurston B. Howell III Mel Carnegie Hall Jeff Going Back To Huson
Tommy Ben Herr Lamarr Where Does It Hoyt Dave Harry and the Henderson
Von Purple Hayes Danny Uriah Heep Mike Heath Bar
Tom Dirty Henke Kent Buy a Vowel Hrbek Jeff Hamilton Joe Frank and Reynolds
Bruce Patty Hurst Glenn Old Mother Hubbard Charles Moscow on the Hudson
Tim Hulett Packard Chris Mr. Haney Neal Heaton and Air Conditioning
Chris Hammond Cheese Vince Four Horsman Pete Harnisch Racing
Brian Deer Hunter Glenallen Strawberry Hill Peter Chips A Hoy
Ron Tala Hassey Toby Last Harrah Darryl Green Eggs And Hamilton
Todd Highway to Helton Tom Henke Panky Art and Howe
Sam Little Big Horn John Habyan Corpus Ah Ah Az Hakim
I_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Dane Clockwork Iorg
J_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Bo Diddley Jackson Dion Bartles and James Felix Do You Know the Way to San Jose
Brook Jacoby Wan Kenobi Wally Absorbine Joyner Stan Javier Self A Merry Little Christmas
Dave Supreme Court Justice Doug Along Came Jones Temple Bethel Johnson
K_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
John I Am Not a Kruk Bob Yom Kipper Mike The Man Who Would Be Kingery
Jimmy Francis Scott Key Dana Field Goal Kiecker Chuck New Kids on Knoblauch
Eric Burger King Ron Ma and Pa Kittle Joe Colonel Klink
Darryl Gomer Kile Eric Karros Matic Jon Kitna Kaboodle
Dan Erie Kanell
L_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Jim Saturday Night LeFebvre Scott Livingstone, I Presume Mike Car 54 Lavalliere
Steve Lake Michigan Dennis Fluorescent Lamp Tim Praise the Laudner
Scott Lay Lady Leius Jim Frito Leyritz Bill One if by Landrum
Jeff Sugar Ray Leonard Vance Common Law Al Cigarette Leiter
Rick Innocent Lysander Urbano Renewal Lugo John Tonight Let It Be Lowenstein
Mark Bud Leiter Pat Pencil Thin Listach Keith June Lockhart
Ed Merrill Lynch Steve Detroit Lyons Rudy Mother In Law
Jose Lind Cuisine Craig Def Lefferts Chet Bitter Lemon
Davey Canta Lopes Mark Get Back Loretta Steve Lyons And Tigers And Bears, Oh My
Gene Meadow Larkin Kerry Leather And Lacy Don't Walk Away René Lachemann
Sean Personal Landeta
M_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
John Holy Moses Me and Willie McGee Eddie Eat Drink and be Murray
Kevin No Maas Jose Flying Melendez Paul Molitor and the Merrimac
Candy Man Maldonado Darryl Motley Crue Oddibe Young Again McDowell
Joe Magrane Headache Bob Melvin and the Blue Notes Fred McGriff the Crime Dog
Mike Mason Jar Greg Appa Maddux Kirt What Was That Manwaring
Shane Fleetwood Mack Dave Mary Magadan Don Welcome Mattingly
Dave Vodka Martinez Big Ben MacDonald Pat Mahomes Where the Heart is
José Costa Mesa Greg Mathe Maddux Kent Magic Mercker
Juan Field Marichal Jeff Praying Manto Damon All Mashore That's Going Mashore
Brent Remember the Mayne Rick Junk Mahler Kevin Sing Along with Mitchell
Eating Raul Mondesi Captain Kirk McCaskill Steve After Dinner Mintz
Angel In the Morning Miranda Brian 12 Year Moehler James Teenage Mouton Ninja Turtles
Orlando I Am Merced Mike Loggins and Mussina Pedro Harvest Munoz
Curtis My Favorite Martin Josh Tears of McCown Natrone Refried Means
Roger Chocolate Maltbie Mike After Dinner Minter Chris One Bad Ma'afalla
N_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Matt No Nokes Paul Buenos Noce Reid Buffalo Nichols
Gene Full Nelson Tim Golden Nehring Edgar High Nunez
Dan Nick Naulty Robb The Flying Nen Jon Get Thee To A Nunnally
O_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
John Orton Hears a Who Johnny Quaker Oates Gregg Olson Golden
Alex Ochoa Gesundheit Al Osuna or Later Sandis Ozolinsh that stole Christmas
Ron Roller Oester Steve Vi Olin
P_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Tom Goodnight Sweet Prince Jim Car Poole Rafael Emerson Lake and Palmiero
Jim Hanky Pankovits Ted Tower of Power Ken Good Evening Mr. Phelps
Mark Trans Parent Terry Swimming Puhl Terry Pit and the Pendleton
Eric Ker Plunk Joe Actual Retail Price Dave Parallel Parker
Bill Veal Pecota Vicente Buckingham Palacios Melido Shuffle Perez
Don Whiter Shade of Pall Tony Jala Pena Phil the Final Plantier
Chan Ho 3 Com Park Robert Missing Person Mike Pepperoni Piazza
Jorge Carne Posada Arquimedez Principle Pozo Jeff Juden Priest
Bill Liquid Plummer Luis Ap Polonia Albert Winnie the Pujols
Ricky Proehl Shampoo
Q_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Jamie Men at Quirk
R_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Dave Prince Righetti Randy Ready or Not Jerry Rolls Reuss
Bobby Tokyo Rose Kevin Reimer Reason Dave Rohde Runner
Tim Purple Raines Johnny Manta Ray Craig Reynolds Wrap
Gary Redus a Bedtime Story Jim Pork Fried Rice Cookie Days of Wine and Rojas
Vern Golden Ruhle Luis Buick Rivera Bruce Two Minutes for Ruffin
José Blame It On Rijo Andre Bad Moon Rison Kevin Ritz Cracker
Wally Lionel Ritchie Bryan Rekar Named Desire Kirk Weekly Rueter
S_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
B J And the Bear Surhoff Joe Slusarski and Hutch Pete Raise Your Hand if You're Schourek
Gary Sheffield of Dreams Bill Per Spiers Todd Aris Stottlemyre
Tim Sockeye Salmon Gary Sheffield Of Dreams Heathcliff Slocumb if ya got 'em
Mark Tossed Salas Steve Alto Sax Craig Brewer and Shipley
Rafael Evil Ways Santana Joel Mule Skinner John When Irish Eyes are Smiley
Eric Win Place or Show Larry Satin Sheets Mike Great Scott
Darryl Strawberry Shortcake Mike Pre Schooler Bob Ice Station Sebra
Billy Free Sample Tom Leave it to Seaver Jeff Wine Sellers
Juan Play it Again Samuel Rick Really Big Schu James Easter Steels
Ed Ocean Sprague Doug People Are Strange Sammy Say it Isn't Sosa
Mario Scotch and Soto Bill Beer Stein Bruce Three Piece Sutter
Kevin Alka Seitzer Ruben High Sierra Mike Nova Scioscia
Scott Room Servais Chris Church Speier Paul Veal Sorrento
Buck Showalter Raleigh Mario Speedwagon Soto Tim Spehr Tire
Franklin Ticket Stubbs Reggie Colonel Sanders Lance Sargeant Schulters
T_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
John Private Tudor Steve Rainbow Trout Andres Doubting Thomas
Manny Kingston Trillo Fred Toliver Twist Alan Have Gun Will Trammell
Pat Pick Up the Tabler Frank Tanana Daquiri Mark Fall Of The House Of Tauscher
Kevin Spinal Tapani Dickie Mara Thon Jim Home Thweet Thome
Jim Thome Can You Hear Me? Tony Tarasco Sauce Amani It's Not A Toomer
Michael Turner Overdrive George Iced Teague Ground Control to David Toms
U_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
José Game Winning Uribe John Stick It In Urrea Ugueth What You Pay For Urbina
V_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Bobby Be My Valentine Ozzie Like A Virgil Frank 101 Strings Viola
Todd Smack Crackle VanPoppel Robin Ventura Highway Dave Death Valle
Andy Dick Van Slyke
W_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Butch Oil and Wynegar Gary Hospital Ward Mitch The Devil and Daniel Webster
Jeff Montgomery Ward Walt Three Blind Weiss Craig For What It's Worthington
Todd We Are the Worrell Tim Eli Wallach Vince Workman My Way Back to You
Mark Bay City Wohlers Don Pop Werner Kerry Norwegian Wood
John Teenage Wetteland John Hia Wathan Jeff Dream Weaver
Bob Intentional Walk Duane Psycho Ward
X_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________

Y_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Rich Not Ready Yett Matt Forever Young
Z_______________________ ________________________ _______________________________
Eric Light My Ziere Greg The Wrath Of Zahn Todd Good Housekeeping Zeile

Hey Crackhead

2008-11-26T12:54:00.000-08:00

I was rummaging around Craigslist and happened upon this lovely post. Enjoy!

Hey Crackhead

Date: 2004-03-27, 3:36PM PST

Yes, you. You sick fucker. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend's building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. At the time, I had no idea why anyone would do that. Other than the sparkplugs, the bike was untouched. Some kind of bizarre vandalism? A fraternity prank gone awry? I had no idea. All I knew is that I looked like a huge douchebag riding the Muni to work in a padded motorcycle jacket and helmet.

Because the bike was immobilized I got a $35 street sweeping ticket that night. Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots ($50 including labor). They explained to me that "people" - I use the term loosely here - like you break off the tops of spark plugs and use the porcelain tubes to smoke crack. As an engineer and former MacGyver fan, in a way I think this is kind of cool. But then I remember that I just paid $100 for YOUR crackpipes, and I get angry again.

Crackhead, it was really good to have my bike back though. I rode home from the shop with a couple of spare sparkplugs and a smile on my face. I figured the next time I parked at my girlfriend's place overnight I would have to buy some crackpipes and tape them to my bike as a peace offering. Overall, I wasn't that upset. Despite having to ride the bus for three days and dropping a hundred bones at the shop, I had gained some fascinating knowledge, a new set of sparkplugs, and a pretty funny anecdote about how fucked up you are, and how our paths once crossed briefly in the night.

But you couldn't just let sleeping dogs lie, could you Crackhead. You couldn't just stay in on Friday, watch Letterman through the window of a home electronics store and then call it a night. You couldn't rest on your laurels. Two porcelain sparkplug crackpipes just wasn't enough for you, was it Crackhead? You just had to come back for more.

This morning, a scant fifteen hours after I rode it out of the shop, I found my motorcycle violated once again. This time you only took the right one - maybe you were having an off night. At least this time I had a spare sparkplug and the tools to fix it - or so I thought - having ordered a 73-piece toolset from SEARS.com last week. But no, the sparkplug socket in my new toolset was for American sparkplugs. So I had to go down to the neighborhood Ace hardware. They had an 18mm socket that would fit over my sparkplug, but it was for a 1/2" drive ratchet. My toolkit only has 1/4" and 3/8" ratchets. So I had to buy a 1/2" ratchet along with the socket. Even though the clerk took pity on me and gave me the senior citizen discount (I'm 25) it still cost me $22 all told. Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8"-to-1/2" drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet. And to that I say "Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished. And besides, I was eventually going to buy a 1/2" ratchet anyway so it's probably not worth it to take it back now."

OK, now I'm rambling. But the point is, Crackhead, that you have done me wrong. Now, I get that you love crack. That is totally understandable. I've heard it is really fun, at first, and quite addictive. What I don't understand is,

YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD. WHY DON'T YOU OWN A CRACKPIPE?

I am an engineer. Do you ever see me shaking down bums in the Loin for a calculator and sliderule? No, you don't. Because engineering is the main thing I do, I went and bought myself a calculator. The main thing you do is crack. How do you get by without a crackpipe? The other crackheads must clown on you non-stop. I mean, the fucking saw you used to saw off my sparkplugs is probably worth five or ten bucks. Why not sell or trade it for a crackpipe? You really haven't put much thought into this, have you?

Please, Crackhead, please don't tell me you sold your crackpipe to buy crack. Even a stupid crackhead such as yourself couldn't possibly be that stupid.

I've decided that taping crackpipes to my motorcycle would be tantamount to appeasement. You have crossed a line, Crackhead - specifically California Street. You have come onto my own street and you have desecrated that which I hold dear. You have stolen from me, and you have caused me to spend the last half hour writing this post instead of engineering shit, and it is concievable, if not likely, that my boss could find out about this and fire me. I am hella pissed at you dude.

Here are my options as I see them:

1. Write a note saying that I have coated both of my sparkplugs in rat poison and tape it to my bike at night. You can thank Tim for that one, it was his idea.

2. Don't write a note, but just coat both sparkplugs in rat poison. This is probably closer to a punishment that would fit your despicable crime. I'm sure this is super illegal and shit, but it's not like anyone is going to miss you, Crackhead. Don't fool yourself.

3. Wait in an alley near my bike armed with my new stainless steel mirror-finish Ace Professional brand 1/2" drive socket wrench, my 18mm sparkplug socket, and my searing rage. It's pretty heavy and well balanced. I am not a large man, but I am angry.

In conclusion, Crackhead, why don't you just do both of us a favor and buy yourself a crackpipe? It will both enhance your crack smoking experience and save me a lot of time and felony assault charges. Think about it.

Sincerely,
Matt

*** If you are not the Crackhead that took my sparkplugs, please disregard this posting ***

The "F" Word

2008-11-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the abrasive language. I saw this posted as someone's icon and I loved it. At first I posted the image in the "All about me" section, but as a "stand alone" I became weary of the lingering negativity that I have been trying to distance myself from for some time now.

2008-07-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

My New Wonder

2007-11-16T23:12:00.001-08:00

My boyfriend and I recently rented Meet the Robinsons from one of those DVDPlay kiosks at the market. Ever since I saw Monster House and Ice Age on dvd I've been trying to see as many animated films as I can. As with anything there has been the good, the bad and the weird (Happy Feet...what?!) so I didn't have any high expectations...especially after Chicken Little and Happy Feet...but I have to say it blew me away. I absolutely loved it. It had all the makings of a great animated film; humor, moral message, comical yet lovable characters, a catch phrase or two and of course a few heart warming moments. I laughed...a lot and cried a little. When it was over I felt all in all it was a good experience...and then it got grand. A signature nuance of Disney's animated films is a masterfully composed soundtrack featuring the musical styling of a noted Billboard chart-topping artist. Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston in The Prince of Egypt, Elton John in Lion King, Toy Story and The Road to El Dorado, Christina Aguilera in Mulan - my personal favorite, to name a few. Meet the Robinsons was no exception, with the Jonas Brothers and the talented Rob Thomas. As much as I enjoyed this flick what put it over the top for me was the music video for "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. Beautifully composed, lyrically and musically. For some reason the way they stylize videos for animated movies comes off cheesy and childish, but I fell in love with it. In fact I got a little more emotional watching the video than I did from the movie. That's probably why I watched it about 3 or 4 times before we returned the dvd. And since it's been replaying on my Youtube favorites.

Rob Thomas Little Wonders Lyrics

Herman Hesse born July 2, 1877

2007-07-02T16:46:00.000-07:00

“There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself.” - Herman Hesse

Education begins at home

2007-06-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

You know I’m so sick and tired of people blaming the school system for their children not being up to par with “global” standards. I attended public school and had excellent teachers, one of which one was awarded teacher of the year by Disney. My boyfriend and his younger siblings all attended the most prestiges private schools in my area and let’s just say you only need money to get a degree. So yes there are bad teachers out there but education begins at home. Parents don’t spend enough quality time with their children in their early years. If you’re children attend daycare make sure it has an educational program. If someone is babysitting your child ensure they are being read to. I’m 26 and I started tutoring kindergarten children at 12 as well as had a summer job babysitting my one year old cousin. Every day I fed her breakfast in her highchair in front of the TV with The Little Mermaid video and captions to read along. You are their most influential educator. Don’t be intimidated by fear that you’re not as educated as you would like. Be there for them and seek help if you need it. There are free services everywhere…Early Educational Development Centers often accept govt aid for those who can’t afford it. Libraries are free and offer an abundance of resources.

Are you giving it a 110%

2007-06-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

From Heaven to Hell...

2007-05-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

From Heaven to Hell

Classicks....

2007-05-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

I feel like an old lady when I reminisce about the hip hop that I grew up with...it was the music of my voice...of the world I felt familiar with. The hip hop the world knew had no voice...and I worried that my little brother would not get to experience the music of our generation...the movement of our generation. But somehow it made its way into his world in its own voice. Peep his friend Mike voicing his own movement.

US PASSPORT TRACKING DEVICE

2007-04-23T02:51:00.000-07:00

All passports issued by the US State Department after January 1 will have always-on radio frequency identification chips, making it easy for officials – and hackers – to grab your personal stats. Getting paranoid about strangers slurping up your identity? Here's what you can do about it. But be careful – tampering with a passport is punishable by 25 years in prison. Not to mention the "special" customs search, with rubber gloves. Bon voyage!

1) RFID-tagged passports have a distinctive logo on the front cover; the chip is embedded in the back.

2) Sorry, "accidentally" leaving your passport in the jeans you just put in the washer won't work. You're more likely to ruin the passport itself than the chip.

3) Forget about nuking it in the microwave – the chip could burst into flames, leaving telltale scorch marks. Besides, have you ever smelled burnt passport?

4) The best approach? Hammer time. Hitting the chip with a blunt, hard object should disable it. A nonworking RFID doesn't invalidate the passport, so you can still use it.

– Jenna Wortham

www.wired.com

Just a side note...for those of you who don't and those who do...I'm a big Ryan Gosling fan....well...I just saw Stay...and I definitely recommend it...

Currently watching :
Stay
Release date: By 28 March, 2006

How to reduce firefox memory usage

2007-04-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

For most users, Firefox doesn't use an abnormally large amount of memory. For others, however, Firefox's memory consumption is a major problem. Typical Firefox memory usage reported by Windows is around 50-100 MB, with virtual memory usage at 100-150 MB. These numbers will vary because Firefox is configured by default to use more memory on systems that have more memory available and less on systems with less.

1. System Extensions

WindowBlinds can dramatically increase memory use. To continue using WindowBlinds and Firefox without memory issues, add Firefox to WindowBlind's exclusion list.

2. Download History

Firefox can slow down or hang if the download history is allowed to accumulate. Clear the download history (you may need to exit Firefox and delete the file "downloads.rdf" from the profile folder in some cases) and change this setting to solve the problem:

Tools -> Options -> Privacy and uncheck "Remember what I've downloaded"

3. Restarting Firefox

If you find that Firefox's memory usage continues to grow after long periods of being open, you may want to consider periodically restarting Firefox to bring the memory usage back to reasonable levels. The Session Manager extension allows you to close Firefox while maintaining the pages you have open.

4. Firefox Memory Cache

By default, Firefox does not use a fixed size memory cache - it uses a percentage of system memory. Setting a fixed size memory cache can often reduce memory usage - 4 or 8MB is sufficient in most instances.

a. In your Firefox address bar, enter the following text: about:config

b. Scroll down to the entry titled browser.cache.memory.enable and make sure the Value is set to true. If it’s not, double-click anywhere in the browser.cache.memory.enable line and the status will change to True

c. Right-click (Apple users ctrl-click) anywhere in the about:config window and select New and then Integer from the pop-up menu

d. Enter browser.cache.memory.capacity in the New integer value pop-up box

e. You’ll need to enter a number in the Enter integer value, but that number depends on how much memory you have (specifically, how much you want to "give" Firefox). If you have 256MB or less RAM, enter 4096 as the value. If you have 512MB of RAM, enter 6144 or 8192. If you have 128MB or less RAM, you may want to consider upgrading - memory is getting very inexpensive.

f. Confirm that the new entry has been created and the integer value is correct

g. If for any reason you wish to restore the default settings, change the browser.cache.memory.capacity integer value to -1 (that’s minus one).

5. Memory Usage Upon Minimize

This is how to reduce the memory usage when you minimize your Firefox.

a. Type about:config in Firefox address bar and press Enter

b. Right click in the page and select New > Boolean

c. Type config.trim_on_minimize in the box that pops up. Press Enter

d. Select True and then press Enter

e. Restart Firefox.

What it will do is, when each time you minimize your Firefox, the memory usage will dramatically drop down to 10Mb but then it will slowly increase up to 50Mb. When you maximize it back, it will stay on 50Mb or maybe 70Mb.

6. Plugins

Plugins can cause Firefox to use more memory when they're used. They may not even release the memory they took until Firefox is closed. It's a good idea to make sure you're using the most recent version of every plugin.

Disable PDF Browser Plugin For Firefox
Speed Up PDF Display
Stop PDF's From Freezing Firefox
Shockwave memory usage
Flash memory usage

How to use MSCONFIG

2007-04-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

This tool modifies which programs run at startup, edits certain configuration files, and simplified controls over Windows services. Files that can be edited through MSCONFIG include AUTOEXEC.BAT, CONFIG.SYS, WIN.INI, SYSTEM.INI on Windows 9x systems, and BOOT.INI on Windows NT systems. The chief benefit to using MSCONFIG to edit these files is that it provides a simplified GUI to indirectly manipulate the sections of those files and the Windows registry tree pertaining to the Windows boot sequence. The most recent version of MSCONFIG, released with Windows Vista, features a greatly simplified user interface and increased support for managing services.

Here is how to use MSCONFIG to disable some of the unnecessary programs that automatically load on start-up.

1. Go to Start -> Run...

2. Type msconfig and then click the OK button.

3. Look for the Startup tab and click it. This will reveal a list with all the programs that are loading at boot.

5. From here you can disable any service that you do not want to be started when you turn on the computer. If you aren't sure what a service does the best thing to do is to leave it on.
6. When done, click the OK button.

8. Click on Restart when prompted and your computer will automatically reboot.

For all my girls that keep finding themselves in the wrong arms...

2007-04-21T23:33:00.001-07:00

1:24 AM -
Current mood: ambivalent
Category: ambivalent Romance and Relationships

I found this who knows where but I though it was worth sharing...Lucky for me...I love good guys...too bad for them I'm a maneater! [but since i found my bear i'm a bear snuggler (shhh don't tell i got a rep to protect)]

Kiki Anniston Reveals: "The "Secret Reason" Why Women Are Attracted To Jerks, Players and Just Plain Dangerously Wrong Guys."

An open letter to single women frustrated with dating the wrong guys...

Hey Girlfriend,

Can I ask you something personal?

Be honest...

Have you ever dated the type of guy that left you constantly waiting by the phone with an uneasy sick feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Or a guy who made you feel bad about yourself, but for some reason you couldn't leave him? (Of course, that same guy, at times, also made you feel like you were the only person on this planet - you know, that "hot-cold" type).

And have you ever walked into a club and found yourself so attracted to one particular guy, you felt like you were in a trance and literally couldn't stop making eyes with him?

If you answered yes to any of the above, it may be a sign that you're susceptible to a certain "dangerous personality type" that psychiatrists have a SCARY sounding name for, which I'll tell you about in a sec...

...But first, I want you to quickly read through the following list of personality traits and jot down the ones that apply to either the guy you're dating now or guys you've typically dated in the past:

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

1. SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. He never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. An arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION (PRONENESS TO BOREDOM) -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, and will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS -- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

13. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

14. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

15. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

16. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

17. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

18. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- A diversity of types of criminal offenses (regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them); taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Do any of these personality traits describe someone you've dated or are dating?

If you answered yes, then you may be as surprised as I was to learn that all 18 traits are actually "clinical traits" of a sociopath (Source: Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, PCL-R; Hare,1991, 2003)... and IF you've dated guys with these traits, chances are YOU are attracted to or involved with a SOCIOPATH... yikes!

Now before you freak out too much… I want you to know that you're not alone!

I too was attracted to these kinds of guys (no wonder my relationships always brought me heartache and pain!)…

Turns out there's a BIG difference between a "normal" guy you might date and a sociopath (a sociopath actually has something wrong with their conscience - they either don't have one or it's severely fragmented).

Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own needs and desires - selfishness and egocentricity to the extreme. Everything and everybody else is mentally twisted around in their minds as objects to be used in fulfilling their own needs and desires.

Not surprisingly, parental failure (usually fatherlessness) is the #1 reason why someone develops a sociopathic personality.

Also interesting are the four distinct types of sociopaths (sound like anyone you've dated?):

1) Commons are characterized by their lack of conscience

2) Alienated are characterized by their inability to love or be loved

3) Aggressives are characterized by a consistent sadistic streak

4) Dyssocials are characterized by an inability to abide by normal rules

I know, I know... I was shocked the first time I read these too.

Okay, now getting back to MY story...

It used to be that when I went out, I'd often find myself attracted to one particular guy (and not necessarily the best looking one in the room) where all we had to do was make eye contact and it was INSTANT SPARKS… almost like some invisible magnetic energy was drawing us to each other…

Every time this happened, I thought what I was feeling was PASSION…or love at first sight... little did I know that I was deeply attracted to sociopathic personality types because of MY OWN dysfunctional psychology.

You see, although I've never really had any trouble meeting attractive, successful, sweet guys… I usually didn't feel attracted to them. I always found myself saying there's "no passion"… or they were too nice or boring.

I now know that my concept of passion was really my addiction to the wrong type of guys…It turns out I was addicted to emotional highs and lows that sociopaths bombarded me with that keep me hooked... in "normal healthy relationships", there tends to be a more steady emotional ride and you don't feel the intensity of the highs and lows you're used to and, therefore, think there's something wrong or missing.

I was amazed to learn that our brains actually become physically addicted to emotional intensity and the more we subject ourselves to roller coaster relationships of hot and cold intensity, the more addicted we get (just like a drug). This happens especially to those of us who grew up with a lot of "dysfunction" in the home.

And, of course, that's why these encounters always led to unfulfilling relationships where I constantly felt anxious, got manipulated and strung along...

I didn't understand why this was happening to me and a friend of mine recommended I go see a therapist, so I did. Well, it didn't take long my therapist to reach a very common conclusion – I had a codependent personality (which apparently explained everything)...

It turns out that because codependents like to live through or for others, have a strong need to "fix" people and tend to seek out relationships where we can play a victim role…

...and because sociopaths are so full of themselves and thrive on controlling and manipulating others, when us codependents and a sociopath get together, it's like nitro and glycerin – BOOM!

Bottom line: I knew if I didn't do something about this immediately, I would continue downward on the destructive spiral that I was already on.

Can you guess what I did?

I actually made a vow not to get involved with anyone until I got myself figured out and it was probably the most difficult part of my healing process (Seriously, you have no idea how codependent you really are until try to not be involved with anyone romantically for a while!)

Now you may be wondering how a nice girl like me developed a codependent personality...

Well, I figured this out too...

It turns out that it's extremely common for children of alcoholics and addicts to be diagnosed as codependent because codependency stems from being abandoned (or abused) as a child and alcoholics and addicts essentially abandon their kids for their addictions.

Although I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict, my father did have a drinking problem and that was the likely source for my codependency issues.

Anyway, I decided to embark on a journey of self discovery with myself as my sole focus. I went to ALANON (the support group for children of addicts), I read dozens of books, took courses, took up yoga, starting eating healthy, went through a twelve step program… and become empowered and confident by focusing on fixing myself instead of trying to fix everyone but myself.

I learned so much about myself and what made me tick, but at the same time, I was feeling lonely and for the first time, I really dreamed of being a great relationship... BUT, I realized that you will NEVER have a normal, healthy relationship unless you re-learn how to date.

Think about it, after a lifetime of being codependent, you date like a codependent. Everything you did was to attract the "wrong guy"… and all the traits you were looking for and thought you were attracted to were traits of the "wrong guy"… and even though you may have achieved control over your codependency, you'll continue to put yourself in the same situation because you approach dating as your old codependent self. It would be like an alchoholic fresh out of AA going into a bar every night for a cup of coffee! Not going to work!

So how do you start from scratch and "learn" to date all over again, only this time, the healthy way?

I eventually found myself feeling ready to try my hand at dating again. Even though I was totally aware of my condition, I was still attracting the jerk/player type! What on earth was I doing wrong? Even with my new self awareness, I couldn't understand why I was back where I started.

I discussed this with my therapist and she identified that indeed I had to throw out a lifetime of experience and behavior to acquire a new healthy mindset towards dating.

At first it was a bit daunting, but then I got excited about the concept of starting all over again. I mean, who wouldn't want a second chance?

Well, after reading numerous dating and self help books including "The Rules", "He's Just Not That Into You", "Why You're Still Single" and "Why Men Love Bitches"... one book in particular really stood out from the rest. It's called "Catch Him and Keep Him" and it's not your typical guide on how to meet guys. This book reveals incredibly valuable and "original" insights into the differences between the way a man's mind and a woman's mind works when it comes to dating and attraction. It was so "eye opening", it changed my entire mindset about how to approach dating and men...

The minute I started reading Christian Carter's book, it was as if this book was written just for me. It completely blew me away! Everything he wrote just made sense. There's just too much to explain here, so I've posted one of his newsletters on my site so you can see for yourself what I mean: read sample newsletter

You have to agree, it's a totally different approach than just relying on your heart and your urges. And the fact that it's written by a guy makes it even that much more "eye opening". It really helped me change my approach to dating, and I'm happy to say, I've met and fallen in love with Michael - a wonderful and beautiful man who treats me really well.

Yes, I still feel sometimes like I don't deserve him. I've shared all of these things with him and he accepts me faults and all. So I want you to know that there really is hope...

Based on my experience, here are the three critical steps you must take to eliminate these "dead ends" from your life :

1) Get Out Of The "Denial" And Out Of Your "Situation" :
It's time to be honest with yourself and admit you are caught in this cycle of destructive behavior. Then you have to make a promise of zero-contact with any romantic involvement until you get yourself straightened out.

2) Seek Expert Help:
There are many resources available to you at little or no cost. Therapy is the best way to go as well as support groups such as Alanon and Codependents Anonymous. It's way too hard to heal without an objective, qualified, and non-judgmental help. Once you feel strong enough to date again, its time to…

3) Change Your Approach:
The definition of insanity is when continue the same approach over and over again expecting a different result. When would NOW be good time to change your approach to relationships and learn how to date the "healthy" way?

Bottom Line: If you want to break the cycle of dating "Mr. Wrong" so you can finally find "Mr. Right", I highly recommend you download this ebook: CatchHimAndKeepHim.com and re-learn your approach to dating just like I did.

Okay, I gotta run... I'm busy writing some more stuff to share on this site soon.

Your friend,

- Kiki

P.S. Feel free to CONTACT ME at kiki@TakeBackYourHeart.com if you have any stories you'd like to share. I promise to write you back personally.

Currently watching :
All the Little Animals
Release date: By 19 August, 2003

For all my girls that keep finding themselves in the wrong arms...

2007-04-21T23:33:00.000-07:00