pensieve.me

The happiest celebration of them all (pssst--help me surprise HIM!!)

2013-05-23T11:18:29-04:00

Raising children well is challenging under the best of circumstances.

Not too terribly long ago I was a mom with three babies under the age of five, and there were some days I wasn't sure I'd make it to the next. They needed me or wanted me for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. and if I thought I learned how selfish I was when I got married, I re-learned that lesson times a squillion after giving birth.

Imagine wanting to use the bathroom without an audience? WHO did I think I was??

But now as I look UP into the eyes of my high school and college-age children, I realize how worthwhile every challenge has been, how the "hard" of parenting has softened my edges and made me a much better person. And I realize I've had it pretty easy if we want to start comparing....

Fourteen years ago, my sister- and brother-in-law were awaiting the birth of their first; our little family was on vacation waiting to hear their good news.

One afternoon when we returned from a day on the beach, we had multiple messages waiting: one was from my brother-in-law (and I can't remember now if he told us Caleb was here OR to call him), but the others were for family who urged us to call them before speaking with the new parents.

We knew something was wrong but had no idea what.

Soon enough we would learn that Caleb had Downs Syndrome, and all those dreams Philip and Bebe (and all our family) had changed. They knew their path just gotten bumpier; the unknowns back then were bewildering.

What we couldn't have known was the beautiful impact Caleb would have in our lives, and that he might be the cousin who taught us all the most. His parents have done (and are doing) an amazing job in parenting him and their two younger children, and all of us have been tendered in a bigger way to children and families who manage special needs.

Tomorrow is Caleb's 14th and Bebe (Caleb's mom, my sister-in-love) had a wonderful idea; I'm copying and pasting directly from her Facebook page so you can read it in her own words:

This week we will celebrate Caleb's birthday! While our journey with Caleb is not always an easy one, there is much to rejoice over and be thankful for. The same way I am confident our Heavenly Father rejoiced in perfectly creating Caleb!

I enjoy birthdays but buying presents for Caleb has always been difficult. He is happy with simple things! So this year I thought of a different kind of present...serving and loving others by doing random acts of kindness in honor of Caleb's special day.

You could pay the parking meter beside you, tape quarters to a vending machine, pay for the person behind you in the drive thru line, help someone load their groceries, return the carts to the store, send a letter to someone you love...ANYTHING...and think of Caleb!

He has taught us so much about unconditional love. If you do something, please snap a pic and post it. I'd love to collect all the photos for his scrapbook. Who wants to celebrate with us this week?

I was so moved by Bebe's wish for Caleb, I asked her if I could share it on PENSIEVE; she was thrilled to open this opportunity for Random Acts of Kindness to whoever would like to join in.

So...if YOU would like to join us in celebrating Caleb's birthday, will you let Bebe know on Facebook? (Here's her Facebook URL.) Also, would you let me know in comments what you've done to honor him in celebration? I might miss it on FB if you only post there.

As Bebe said, she's collecting photos for his scrapbook, and wouldn't it be wonderful to FILL several pages? And from Caleb's favorite Auntie (ok...his OLDEST aunt!!), thank you. For you to love on this sweet family is blessing to me.

...then the dance gods wept

2013-05-22T10:17:20-04:00

In an era of reality TV gone wild, there's one show that stands head and shoulders above the rest--

Dancing with the Stars. I love it.

Their judges, Len Goodman, Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli, deliver constructive, entertaining, and sometimes contentious criticism, but it's clear they know what they're talking about and their interest is in serving the dancers.

Every season, there is One Dance that explodes my heart in a million pieces, and this year I thought it was Kellie Pickler's and Derek Hough's Argentine Tango (start at the 1:25 mark).

I was wrong (though it's a close second).

It's their Super-size Freestyle from Monday night; super-size only in its beauty and simplicity. I knew she won the moment I saw it--pure, emotive dance that steals breath. Stunning. Show stopping. Brilliant choreography.

You must watch even if you don't care for DWTS. Their bodies are art in motion, and you'll be moved by their poignant, exquisite storytelling through dance.

Derek has always been my favorite choreographer, and if I'm not mistaken, this will be his last year with the show. What a way to end his time with DWTS--earning this year's ridiculous but coveted Mirror Ball Trophy, his fourth win. Kellie might not have won when she competed in American Idol years ago, but her country music career is doing just fine thankyewverymuch, and I'm inclined to think this crown means even more.

Your turn: If you're a DWTS fan, do you agree with that the best team won? Do you have a different favorite reality show? Hate 'em all? DO tell me more!

Photo credit

On luck and charms

2013-05-21T12:45:01-04:00

"Is everything okay?" he calls out, unleashing his dog on the far side of his driveway, beyond the vacant lot on which I'm trespassing.

I had noticed them half an hour earlier, at the beginning of my hilly, neighborhood powerwalk. French Bulldogs are such a curious-looking breed, they remind me of Bartok the bat from the animated Anastasia. I almost expect them to rise on two feet, do karate-chop hands and squeak "I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OUU-WA!" and I can't help but wonder if I'm the only person who has ever imagined that.

Hunched over with my nose inches from the ground, I suppose I might have looked like I was sick or maybe searching for a lost contact. My posture indicated anything but "okay".

"Oh, I'm just looking for four-leaf clovers," I explained, like that was perfectly normal, a grown woman hunting clover anomaly. It strikes me that I'm the deviation from the norm.

But in the very moment I speak it, I spot one. Thrilled, before I allow time to think before I gush, I tell him, "You must be my lucky charm YOU'RE A LUCKY CHARM!" and as soon as those outrageous words excape my lips, I want to burrow under the grass and hide from this stranger-neighbor.

Kindly, he shrugs it off with a manufactured laugh before quickly disappearing into his home. Away from the crazy lady.

Undeterred, I return my attention to the clover patch.

I see another...

and another...

and another!

Eventually, six in all.

If fairies are real, this is where they live.

* * *

I continue my walk homeward, heart brimming with good cheer and hand pinching a tiny, leafy bouquet. My steps are lighter.

Friendly, concerned neighbors breed goodwill.

* * *

I cannot pass a clover patch without looking down and trying to find a four-leaf clover, even if I'm walking fast. If I'm forced to, I feel like I'm missing something special...extra-ordinary...lucky.

It's a quirk.

It's one of those things I name and know and like about myself.

I think it's important to notice the things about yourself, the ways you're wired, that make you you. The little things. The commonly uncommon. Maybe even the things no one else on the planet knows about you.

* * *

Like so many others, I carry a phone most everywhere I go. I do this not to talk or check in or to socially document my every step, it's so I can take pictures to make moments last longer. So I can remember what I so easily forget.

Like lucky charms and verdant fairy bouquets and nice neighbors and bat-like dogs.

What a bonus to discover the phone I'm demo-ing as a Verizon Wireless Ambassador (a Blackberry Z10) has a Story Maker feature; I just wish I had been brave enough (aware enough?) to steal a picture of the man and his dog.

But maybe that would have made me bonafide crazy. (Maybe that I wouldn't think was so wonderful.

Enjoy the mini movie; it's my first so they can only get better, right?

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55 REALLY good graduation gift ideas

2013-05-15T09:28:13-04:00

Sons, daughters, girlfriends, boyfriends--it's that time of year when people are scouring the internet for high school (and college) graduation gift suggestions, especially those who don't like giving money. Google "great graduation gift ideas" and you'll still find lists I shared on both Simple Mom and my blog two years ago, so I thought it might be helpful to combine them into one place - and not in a frustrating slide show format (am I the only one who deplores those? I much rather scroll than click.).

Below I've updated my previous lists using input from high school and college friends; from $10-100s, you're bound to get some great ideas for every price range. Your suggestions are welcome in comments.

Disclosure: Some links below are strictly for your convenience, others are affiliate links; my heartfelt gratitude if you click through and purchase.

One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book. Under $15, this is by far the most-often purchased item from my list of suggestions (based on an Amazon order summary over the past two years). People buy 'em by the bunches and it continues to be a gift my daughter continues to thank me for, years after I gave her the copy I bought for myself. My son likes the likes the Q & A a Day version(Don't worry, I can't track who buys what but I was thrilled to discover this info is available. Obviously, I'm not a huge affiliate marketer...).
Apollo Precision Tools 39-Piece Pink Tool Set. This is second in popularity behind the One Line a Day. The girl who owns this will be the most popular girl in her dorm. Under $25, it's a great price for multiple gift-giving, too. Here's a guy's version of the same thing.
Men's travel/toiletry kit. There are inexpensive hanging toiletry kits or you can go with a more Dopp Kit.
Hanging Jewelry and Accessories Organizer. This one has 80 pockets but you can find them everywhere women's accessories are sold.
Pepper Spray. Especially for girls who might be traveling back and forth to work or class alone from their apartment, this is a gift of peace of mind!
Monogrammed towels. I used to think this was too high falutin' but a new friend told me this was the ONE THING her college-graduating son had kept through two different dorms and two apartmets. He always knew which ones were his. You can pick up nice, inexpensive towels & have them monogrammed yourself or I like these nicer quality ones from Waterworks Studio.
A hammock. Again, this is one of my kids' Favorite Gifts of All Time. My sons and daughter love these Eagles Nest Outfitters DoubleNest Hammocks--they're large enough for two, a help when a friend doesn't have one for hanging out.
A Terry Wrap. One size fits all, these are fantastic for dorm living if you have to walk down the hall to a shower.
Jewelry. Pearl studs, something special from Tiffany & Co. or a classic piece of jewelry is always a good answer. I happen to be partial to Lisa Leonard hand-stamped jewelry, but I REALLY like this Skeleton Key Keychain or the Dream Big Keychain. IF you happen to see this post on or before Memorial Day, use coupon code: memorialsale25 and receive a 25% discount! (It's a one-day sale only!!)
Heirloom jewelry. A grandfather's watch, a grandmother's ring--these aren't intended to be worn everyday but their significance gathers with time.
Chubbies Shorts. Guys in our area are buying them like crazy! The company has brilliant marketing (they say things like Chubbies Shorts: American-made thigh liberation for your Quadzillas) and if you want to be the COOLEST gift-giver, you'll pony up for a pair. Unless you've heard about them already however, you WILL NOT understand them. But trust me, if you're looking for a gift for a college-bound GUY, Chubbies Shorts will be a GREAT choice. Enough said.
Underbed storage. Because dorm or apartment space is at a premium, graduates can get a lot of use out of something like this. I LOVE my niece's favorite--Scout Be-Low-Me. It's cuter than a standard Big Box store version and at $10 very affordable for multiple gift-giving.
A piece of their hometown. I don't know what this means for you, but for my kids a special gift is a plaque on a local historical bridge. If they're inclined to appreciate something this abstract, look for something in their hometown.
School/team apparel. If your graduate is headed to college, they'll want to deck out in school mascot/colors. If not and you know they're a big fan of a pro team, a nice tee or sweatshirt would be great.
Posters or Art. This is tricky--what YOU love, they might not. This is a better choice if you know the person well. Safe bets are campus buildings, sports-related scenes or inspiring word art. J'adore this one from allposters.com.
Mattress topper or feather bed. (Another of my daughter's top three favorite gifts; it's become my go-to for gifts in this price range.
Back of door full-length mirror; include Command Hanging Strips, easy on the walls. (I LOVE this innovation in hanging stuff! Removable tape + Velcro = winwin)
Binoculars. You can pretty much spend whatever you want for these but you can get a decent gift for under $30.
A flashlight. Today's flashlights are smaller & better than ever. Don't forget the batteries.
Earbuds. My kids prefer Skullcandy. Combine it with an iTunes giftcard and they'll love ya.
Headphones. You really do get what you pay for with quality headphones. My kids drool over Beats but you can get something decent for a quarter to half that price.
Deck of giftards in the town they'll be living post-graduation. Restaurants, retail and entertainment will be VERY welcome to a poor college student. Did you realize you can get just about everything at Amazon and not have to pay shipping?!
Luggage. This has been a standard for generations (I was so proud of my powder blue hard shell Samsonite forEVAH) and American Tourister's 4-piece set seems like a quality buy for a reasonable price. Collapsible, rolling duffles are a good idea, too.
A AAA Membership. Especially if your graduate has a long drive home from job or school.
Laundry survival kit: put together something fun including a dirty clothes basket or heavy duty laundry bag and all-in-one detergent. I used to suggest including a roll of quarters but the colleges we've visited include free use of machines now.
Hot pot & supply of Ramen Noodles. We've all been there.
A small coffee maker. This Black & Decker Coffeemaker with Travel Mug is dual purpose.
Speaking of coffee, a French Press. I would never have thought a college student would want one, but my daughter and hallmates are sold on theirs.
Umbrella. Go for school colors or a fun design; if it's recognizable it's less likely to get lost.
Cordless Screwdriver. Practical but they'll thank you when they need it.
First Aid Kit. You can buy one ready made or put together a kit yourself. Include bandages, anti-bacterial cleansing wipes, Advil, Neosporin, Benedryl, matches, tape, gauze, scissors. Ummm, unless you're making several of these, it might be more economical to buy the kit.
Digital camera or if you know they have one, a camera case and memory cards.
Adventure. Hang gliding, Skydiving, Rock Climbing, Repelling--if there's some type of adventure in their backyard, surprise them with a MEMORY instead of a thing. Look for Groupon, Living Social or other deal sites.
Bookbag or Messenger bag. Look for great quality (my kids like Patagonia but they are pretty pricey to give as a gift).
A nice study Bible. It's time to ditch the cheap paper student Bible they've used throughout high school. Leather makes it special. (This recommendation came from a graduating guy friend of ours--love it!!)
Sound Machine. Drown out the sounds of dorm/apartment living. Wish I had had one.
Dry erase board to hang outside their room. When we toured colleges with our kids, I loved seeing notes written to friends outside dorm rooms.
Bulletin or Memo Board (don't forget the thumbtacks if it's a cork board and Command Strips to hang it.)
University-themed stadium throw.
Stadium chairs.
Nalgene water bottle. Fill it with their favorite candy & this makes an affordable gift if you have a lot to buy.
A watch. I know, I know, everyone uses their phone to tell time. But for an athlete, a sports watch is nice; for the fashion- or business-minded, something blingy or professional.
Lap Desk. Another one they'll appreciate more once they use it.
Pocket knife. Yeah, I know it's old school, but I like old school.
Leatherman tool. These are easy to loathe until you find yourself in a bind and NEED one. I don't know how many times we've used the one in our car. They'll have it forever.
Tailgait Toss (aka Corn Hole). It's curiously addicting once you start playing, and whoever owns a set brings the party with them.
Sleeping bag. Feather-light and compactable, a nice sleeping bag is something the adventurer WILL appreciate.
Cooler with wheels. For tailgaiting and roadtrips.
Picnic blanket. My daughter stole mine and keeps it in the back of her car. A nice thing to have for outdoor concerts, lake outtings, beach, etc.
Dorm fridge. One less thing they'll have to buy for themselves.
Microwave. Same as above (but if they'll be living in a dorm, make sure it's permissible).
Portable GPS. Or teach them the antiquated skill of reading an actual map.
Kindle or Nook. Not just for general reading but many (most? all??) textbooks are available electronically.
iPad. Because it's so much more than an e-reader.
Laptop. Every student I asked for suggestions said this first. Every one.

Miracle, Marvel & Motherhood

2013-05-13T08:44:20-04:00

Heavy lids plead for rest so she finally relents, ready for bed before 9:00 p.m.; her four-month internship had ended with a 10-hour drive home that started at midnight. Full and yet empty, she’s exhausted, spent…overwhelmed.

I give thanks for Providence and Grace: though we hadn’t realized it when we were planning so long ago, she was home in time for Mother’s Day weekend.

ii.

Earlier that morning I had waited at the top of our drive so I could see her the second she rounded the corner. Her car was barely in park when she flung open the door and popped out. We hugged close and snug, the way women know how to. “You look beautiful, baby!” I declare to her and the world, and she says, “Mama, you’re so skinny!”

Our language is love and the air simmers with words –I’ve missed so much, and she has lots to tell. A day’s worth is just the beginning. Our eyes fill with tears half a dozen times; revelation and revolution will do that.

She yawned during dinner and conceded the long night’s drive must have caught up with her. It is her way is to make sure we won’t be offended if she heads to bed early so we shoo her in that direction.

“Want me to tuck you in? Sing to you?” and we both laugh and she says, “Sunshine“.

“…dun-dine….” I hear it the way she said it at three. She burrows under her covers and scoots to the edge, silent invitation to join her.

We’re fleshy spoons, her body cupped into mine, and she’s purring while my nails draw hearts on her back. “That feels so gooood….” I can barely hear, her words lost in a pillowy muffler.

My babygirl is home! Never more have I tipped a toe in the Prodigal father’s shoes–mercy! I can only imagine his elation, the way his soul and spirit danced. All day long I haven’t been able to stop looking at her, touching her, talking with and listening to this familiar stranger in my daughter’s body. She looks the same and different; her inside has grown so much I can tell it on the outside.

I keep thinking about when my hand covered her entire newborn back. How is it possible 20 years separate then and now?! I wish my superpower was not blinking.

iii.

“I’m astounded by the miracle of it,” I whisper.

* * *

I love this reflection in writing but when I read it out loud to my daughter, I liked it even better--her reaction was a huge paycheck :). Anyway, I hope you'll continue reading Miracle Worker at Deeper Story / Family today, and share it with a miracle in your life ~ smile ~.

Everyday Mentors and Village People (WHAT could those have in common?)

2013-05-10T09:15:14-04:00

I was a bystander this time, an observer, learning a lesson again I am so quick to forget:

Words are powerful and persuasive and have the capacity to change lives.

I know this, I even live it, but watching and witnessing a relative stranger speak wisdom into my teen son’s life, I saw it fresh, new. The conversation’s effect was palpable–you could almost see wheels turning in my boy’s head.

Please continue reading Everyday Mentors and Village People at Simple Mom today. YOU really DO have the power to alter the course of another's life with a word of encouragement, calling out gifts and talents you see and speaking with passion about something you love. This was a recent lesson and challenge to me and I hope it serves as one to you, too.

Beauty Marks, an addendum: when you DON'T hear the words your heart longs for

2013-05-08T12:42:20-04:00

"How do I know if I am beautiful?" she asked me. "What is beauty?" "What if I am not good enough?"

Her short email wrung tears from my heart. Only then did I realize when I wrote Beauty Marks - an essay intended to speak to mothers about the power and influence they have in their childrens' lives - that daughters (and maybe sons) would also find my words....

...and if what I described wasn't true in their lives, my words would sprinkle salt in open wounds.

"What if my mom never tells me I'm beautiful?"

Never might be one of the ugliest words of them all.

I don't dare to pretend to know the right answers to her questions. It's too convenient to sling Christian platitudes and trite cliche. She deserves more.

The many who feel the way she does, deserve more.

I ache for her the way I ache for others who have void in their lives. It comes packaged in so many ways, doesn't it?--materially, physically, spiritually, emotionally.... When you consider the full range and impact of personal void you realize we all have void and loss in our lives.

Regardless of what form our particular void takes, it provides a glimpse into the pain of another.

I don't think it matters if there's not a close approximation; the common human experience of pain or suffering or longing or void or unmet expectation is sufficient.

Over the course of my life, I've been closely acquainted with loss, loneliness, void, unmet expectation; maybe not the same as yours (or the writer of my email), but it's not wasted experience. The Knowing that comes with troubled season allows me empathy, compassion and insight for the plight of another.

If I could, I'd wrap my arms around this precious young woman and hold her long and quiet. Sometimes love and kindness is perfectly expressed in embrace without a single word.

But then I'd sit back and grab her hand and squeeze hard. And I'd offer some things I believe, wisdom gleaned from ancient writers held captive and inspired by the Divine, words breathed from the heart of God--

Babygirl, you are created in the image of God, the image of perfection. This doesn't mean you're perfect because you're skinned in human flesh, but because you bear God's image, He is the one you resemble...perfection beyond our mind's comprehension.

In Ecclesiastes, it says "He has made everything beautiful in its time." God has made you beautiful. The Psalmist declares God made you and me wonderful, too (Psalm 139). These are love notes to doubters like us; God knew there would be many who needed to know these truths, so he preserved them in his Holy word.

What is beauty? True beauty? I think it has little to do with the narrow, cultural, Americanized, 21st century definition we generally accept--shallow, a book's cover, fleeting and temporary.

Because I care about what God thinks and I'm desperate to be more like him, I want to know how he regards beauty. What are the characteristics he esteems?

1 Samuel 16:7 flat out says he doesn't regard beauty the same way humans do, he cares NOTHING about physical appearance; instead, he looks at the heart. Peter, too, talks about the unfading beauty of the inner life; he speaks of a gentle and quiet spirit as beautiful. Matthew records a beautiful account of what Jesus regards as lovely, commonly known as the Beattitudes. The qualities he blesses and calls blessed are a far departure from a physical form of beauty. Desire for righteousness, purity, mercy, peacemakers, the persecuted, those who grieve--he honors those the world would see as losers or less than.

Are you good enough? No...but neither am I. No one is, left to our own devices. We're flawed sinners--even the "best" Christians you know.

So what hope do we have? Is there any such a thing?

The truth is I'm a doubter. But that doesn't seem to concern Christ. Doubting isn't sin; my questions aren't sinful. The astonishing paradox is my questions and doubt drive me to seek God more! He uses my unbelief to draw me closer. Crazy stuff.

Our hope is in Jesus, his love, forgiveness and sacrifice to us and for us. When God looks at us, the beauty he sees in us is Jesus himself. And Jesus IS enough.

Even when it doesn't feel like it. That demands faith.

We're born with this need for affirmation from our parents, from those we love first and most. We long for their approval, their affection, their acknowledgment. We expect that from them.

Parents are just people, too, though...flawed, imperfect creatures. Maybe your mother (and/or father) withholds what she never received herself. Maybe she can't give what she doesn't know. Maybe her heart is so battered and bruised she can't see beyond her own pain to salve yours.

I have no way of knowing but I imagine she has battle scars that handicap her from seeing clearly what you most desire from her. But it's likely she's doing the best she can with what she's got....

...even if that leaves you needing more, wanting so much more.

It's no wonder you struggle, thrashing against the walls of void, sometimes harming yourself just to feel something. Negative attention is better than no attention.

But listen to me, babygirl...listen!

You're the daughter of a King who loves you so much he'd give his life for yours.

He gave his life for yours.

You're an object of his affection and he sees beauty when he looks at you. I wouldn't even try to understand what that means--but I hope you find rest in who God is (meaning it's up to you to get to know him better) and how he sees you.

His love for you is not conditional on what you do for him; it's on what Jesus has already done on your behalf.

All I know to do is to encourage you to be a God chaser. To enter into an intimate relationship with God, which can only happen when you pursue him, will change you.

We become what we behold.

So behold beauty.

p.s. I wish I had remembered to share something on my original post I wrote almost three years ago; it includes a song from Nichole Nordeman that speaks to our longing to be called beautiful. When you read Beautiful/Nerds, you'll find her video. It's a song I'm singing over you now, a prayer whispered in the gap.

Stop this train

2013-05-03T17:08:27-04:00

"Want me to play for you?"

I've watched this one grow from boy to man, a day's change imperceptable, but the years impossible to miss. His brown eyes dance and his smile curls with ease and I'm never quite sure when he's sneaking something past. This one is a charmer.

He's a natural at so many things - sports...music - and he's rare in just as many ways: unashamed to ask me to pray for the people he cares about, gratitude on his lips in response to the most simple of gestures, concern about disappointing the adults in his life, regard for authority. And he takes as long as a girl to get ready to go out.

He was the first friend to ask my son to come over when we moved here almost ten years ago. I remember asking the elementary principal about their family because I didn't know anything about anyone here.

I was grasping for the kind of knowing that comes from living in the same place for long enough to grow a life. We had only been here weeks and that was futile, little more than a mother's wish.

So, he's here last night, and I'm aware time with him - and The Others Like Him - have numbers ticking the days left. College...moving...moving on.

It's been a time, a season, a good one, a rich one.

The kids in my children's lives have been Community to me in a way I never expected. They love me, they tell me things, they listen.

I love them, I tell them things, they listen.

The older ones come back sometimes, too, even when my children aren't here.

So he asks me if I want to hear him play, and I'm genuinely touched that he'd ask. That he's brave enough for an audience of one. That he wants me to listen.

And I'll be damned if it's not John Mayer. It had to be John Mayer....

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in....

It was beautiful. It was a paycheck to a mom.

He has no idea my heart exploded.

Sometimes "too good to be true" IS true (the Ultimate Ebook Bundle)

2013-04-30T14:15:37-04:00

You may have seen this graphic splashed all over the internets and by now I hope you're ready to pull the trigger--for only $29.97, you're able to purchase 97 ebooks billed as a "complete homemaking library" valued at $640. An additional $140 in free products companion your purchase.

Most of these books I haven't read, and honestly, many are of little interest to me. So why in the world would I use my time to share this sale with you?

Two very important reasons:

Because even if I only read 10 percent of the books, it's STILL a fantastic bargain!
I believe firmly in supporting writers' work and it's HUGE encouragement for you to invest in these labors of love.

I love seeing several of my friends' books included in this compilation--

Sandy Coughlin, The Reluctant Entertainer, Balcony Girls 1 & 2

Kristen Welch, We Are THAT Family, That Works for Me!

Amanda, Oh, Amanda, Truth in the Tinsel

Mary Carver, Giving Up on Perfect, Plan a Fabulous Party

Tsh Oxenreider, Simple Mom, One Bite at a Time

Melissa Michaels, The Inspired Room, Not a DIY Diva

Jessica, Mothering Heights, 100-pound Loser

Crystal Paine, Money Saving Mom, Money Saving Mom’s Guide to Freezer Cooking

Amy Andrews, Tell Your Time: How to Manage Your Schedule So You Can Live Free

Sarah Mae, 31 Days to Clean

Alli Worthington, iPhone Photography: The Visual Guide

But they represent only a fraction of the titles offered.

Maybe this is the first time you're hearing about this Ultimate Ebook Bundle; maybe it's the tenth time you've seen something about it. Whichever group you fall into, I hope you'll click over here to see the entire listing of contributors and realize the value of this deal. Then, just click the little button below.

Some of you might have reservations--maybe it'll take too long to download or you're confused about how it works. I promise you the benefits of this diverse content outweigh any concern you have, and this opportunity is FANTASTIC INCENTIVE to learn what you've been putting off anyway.

Disclosure: I haven't been compensated for promoting this ebook bundle but I have used my affiliate links should you decide to purchase. And if you do? I join this team of authors in thanking you for your support!!

It's a Zen thing

2013-04-29T12:11:53-04:00

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Wireless Ambassadors program and have been provided a wireless device and three months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product. See http://tiny.cc/VZWA for more information.

Don't make the mistake of calling it "Zee Ten"; be the cool kid who knows it's a Blackberry "Zen Ten".

Well, I might need lipstick...

and I don't think my eyebrows will ever be the same level...

and there's little danger of me taking over Jay Leno's late night gig...

but none of that hinders my Vlogger Wannabe-ness.

Please take two minutes to find out what I'm up to now...

My amazing tech wizardry will most definitely astound you and make you feel exponentially better about yourself.

You're welcome.

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(be) loved

2013-04-21T12:05:59-04:00

This image is of a section of the Berlin Wall, a way for passers-by to "mark" their visit. I was moved by the heart someone took time to fashion--a beautiful reminder that you can, indeed, find love anywhere.....

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.
This is the true self.
Every other identity is illusion.”

~ Brennan Manning

I assumed she knew.

How could she not know? This Godly young woman’s life preaches the Gospel whether or not she’s using words–her decisions, counsel, countenance all point to One Thing. Jesus.

I assume you know, too….

We go to church. Read and study scripture. Bookmark Christian websites. Pen our faith in paper journals. Proclaim it with our lips, in our homes, online.

It’s not that we haven’t heard it or read it. It’s too important to forget, yet remembering is so hard.Why…is..that…?

Is it simply that knowing with your head doesn’t equal believing with your heart?

If you ever hear whispers of doubt or struggle with feelings of not "enoughness" or even worthlessness, please continue reading an important encouragement today, maybe just for you.

Garden + HEART = Celebration

2013-04-19T09:21:03-04:00

I couldn't believe my ears.

"Would you write a post to promote our Garden Celebration?"

It's the first time anyone in my family asked me to write about something so it must be pretty important. I've often contended there is no great honor than using your voice on behalf of others, so I am thrilled to introduce you to a Special Place and tell you about their Very Special Event:

My girl is interning at h.e.a.r.t. Institute in Lake Wales, Florida this semester, an amazing, one-of-a-kind missionary training institute. The first thought when you hear the words "heart institute" is cardiac care, but in this case it's an acrostic for Hunger Education And Resource Training.

Tomorrow, Saturday, April 20, h.e.a.r.t. is opening its doors to the community, offering seminars led by fantastic speakers and treating guests to authentic jambalaya prepared by a real Cajun. The day's Key Note Address will be by Dr. Martin Price, founder of ECHO, another amazing organization that equips those who give their lives to serve others. Attendees can select three seminars, a difficult choice when you see the list to choose from:

My husband and I had the opportunity to tour h.e.a.r.t. when we dropped off our daughter in January; I've never seen anything like it. The entire staff welcomed us with warm, open arms and we got to see some of their projects in various stages of completion. Students learn to re-purpose everything and gain invaluable insight into "using what you've got" when working in impoverished areas.

Though I didn't notice on the Garden Celebration schedule of events, I'm sure if you ask you can visit the goats, chickens and bunnies! We happened to see a trained chicken when we were there--who knew you could train a chicken to sit?!

Learning is hands-on at h.e.a.r.t. Students earn college credit and can choose between a 15-week semester program or a 3-week short course.

We would never have heard about h.e.a.r.t. had our daughter not attended a conference where they were exhibiting two years ago. Seeing the impact it is having in her life, coupled with her desire to serve others (whether domestically or in developing countries), makes me want to introduce this organization to as many people as possible.

With that in mind, I'm extending a strong call to action:

If you live in the Lake Wales area (Polk County, central FL, south of Orlando), ATTEND the Garden Celebration tomorrow. Up to two children are free with each paying adult.
Share this post with your friends. You may not live close enough to attend, but maybe some of your friends do. Pleasepleaseplease Facebook Like and/or Share, Tweet, Pin, Email, Stumble or whatever this post or h.e.a.r.t.'s site to expose their amazing organization to others.
If you're considering service abroad, or if your older children are interested in missions work, attend H.E.A.R.T.'s semester or short course. My daughter had completed three semesters of college before working as an intern this semester and she is blown away by this practical educational experience.
Donate. While the Garden Celebration is all about connecting h.e.a.r.t. to the Lake Wales and surrounding community, it is also a fundraiser. Your generous donation will enable them to offer similar future events and to continue their important training.
Like h.e.a.r.t. village on Facebook.

Serving on the mission field is challenging; h.e.a.r.t. helps students gain a greater insight into what that might look like, preparing them in a way the classroom experience can't.

Thank you for sharing h.e.a.r.t.'s story. And if you live close enough to attend the Garden Celebration? Hug my babygirl for me...this mama is missin' her somethin' fierce!

an (un)common adventure

2013-04-16T10:40:22-04:00

I walked out my back door just now into that That Time of Year....

It didn't come quietly. It came with grand proclamation.

Perched at tree's top, she was loud and insistent, so much so she stopped me still no sooner than I had found my pace. So I listened. No, not just listened...I heard. "Praise his glorious name forever!" she declared. "The whole earth is filled with his glory," amen and amen, punctuation to her Psalter song.

I reached for my phone to capture her a little while longer. The battery died right after. At first I'm angry--That Time of Year demands pictures!-- but I'll soon learn how great a blessing, this seeing with wide eyes rather than behind a tiny lens.

This is that time of year when lions are dandy and herds are born in fields of clover. Young manes are lemon and sunshine and a traffic light's caution. Elders' are cotton-topped, a crumple of fairy wings, wispy clouds on a stem. Cotton candy cake pops? They're a nuisance and play toy all at once. One of a squillion nature-miracles we take for granted, and by those of an ornery disposition, disdain.

I round the corner and slam into a hint of summer to come--had I been paying closer attention, the hum of a distant motor would have been sufficient warning. It's barely and j u s t warm enough for the scent of fresh-cut grass to conjure all manner of childhood memory, yes, and that mixture of oil and gasoline. I breathe in deep, fill my lungs, beg for more, holding tight to what was and what is and what will be. Powerful scent of green and youth and promise.

A little further along the way, I'm dazzled. This is a curious thing--the colors of spring aren't my favorite and yet I love them. Jasmine's gold, Red Bud's magenta, Wisteria's lavender. Everything is dusted in pollen, an unfortunate price to pay for spring's spectacular show.

I'm wrecked with love for the South. I've lived in three of her states now and they're the same and completely different and you have to spend some time in each to see and hear the subtleties. I'm so glad I've seen and heard. Fifty shades of Hey! usually followed by a y'all.

The grassy smell turns sickly sweet the closer I get to that tangled mass of Wisteria. Their clusters of flowers hang like grapes on a vine and I'm wild about them because they refuse to be bound, tamed, controlled. They're strong, resilient and faithful to return, the best kind of friend. Bees grow fat on their drink and I inch closer. I'm trusting these aren't the stinging kind, that they're more interested in their work than a voyeur of their trade. I wonder what their honey tastes like.

I walked out my back door just now into that That Time of Year and some people would call it a walk around the block.

I am not some people...a prayer of thanksgiving for who I am.

The words and wisdom of a Ragamuffin

2013-04-14T18:32:48-04:00

Author and speaker Brennan Manning wrote a book for me years ago, The Ragamuffin Gospel. During a time when every paradigm of my faith seemed to be shifting, he spoke life and grace and generous, affirming love over me. To some he lived a controversial life, prone to stumbles and falls about any time he was able to stand. But in the wake of his death Friday, he leaves behind a legacy of words that provoke thought, encourage the believer (and the one who wants to believe), and makes accessible the Gospel to anyone who has ears to hear.

I've collected ten Brennan Manning quotes to introduce you to his work and words if you aren't yet acquainted--

My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.

* * *

Do the truth quietly without display.

* * *

The Word we study has to be the Word we pray. My personal experience of the relentless tenderness of God came not from exegetes, theologians, and spiritual writers, but from sitting still in the presence of the living Word and beseeching Him to help me understand with my head and heart His written Word. Sheer scholarship alone cannot reveal to us the gospel of grace. We must never allow the authority of books, institutions, or leaders to replace the authority of *knowing* Jesus Christ personally and directly. When the religious views of others interpose between us and the primary experience of Jesus as the Christ, we become unconvicted and unpersuasive travel agents handing out brochures to places we have never visited.

* * *

...memory makes it possible for us both to bless the past, even those parts of it that we have always felt cursed by, and also to be blessed by it...what the forgiveness of sins is all about."

* * *

When we wallow in guilt, remorse, and shame over real or imagined sins of the past, we are disdaining God's gift of grace.

* * *

When our inner child is not nurtured and nourished, our minds gradually close to new ideas, unprofitable commitments and the surprises of the Spirit.

* * *

For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Jesus Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened," He assumed we would grow weary, discouraged, and disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following Him was as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love.

* * *

What makes a genius? The ability to see. To see what? The butterfly in a caterpillar, the eagle in an egg, the saint in a selfish person, life in death, unity in separation, God in the human and human in God and suffering as the form in which the incomprehensibility of God himself appears.

* * *

There is the "you" that people see and then there is the "rest of you".

* * *

My message, unchanged for more than fifty years, is this: God loves you unconditionally, as you are and not as you should be, because nobody is at they should be. It is the message of grace....

That last one? A lovely tune for a one-stringed guitar.

Of mice and men: a tale of two breakfasts

2013-04-12T17:39:17-04:00

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Right before I arrived at her house, my friend Paige sent a text--

"Front door is unlocked. Just come on in. I'm finishing getting ready."

Sneaky little rascal, she is...

What a fun welcome to our morning! Nothin' says "hello" more cheerfully than a present puffed in pink tissue, yes?

Next, we dove into a true Southern breakfast; I'm not sure there's anything healthy about it, but my goodness it was yummy.

My favorites! Scrambled eggs, biscuits, potatoes, sausage and EVERY SOUTHERNER'S LOVE LANGUAGE--Grits!

Cracker Barrel ain't got nothin' on my friend Paige. I love breakfast food - every breakfast food - and I seem to love every breakfast drink, too. My husband jokes about how my breakfast beverage bill is higher than my breakfast food bill when we go out.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure he's actually j o k i n g .....

A n y w a y s...

I thought it was going to be just me and Paige but she surprised me with a few of her friends. First, there was Sammy. Sammy is a baby squirrel rescued when workers chopped down a tree in their back yard--

The thing about squirrels is they're, well...squirrely. Sammy, in particular, likes to climb inside your shirt and crawl around, and when Paige reminded me his claws were sharp because, you know, they climb trees upside down, it was the perfect time to return him to his cage.

Then there's Kevin.

Where Sammy is furry, warm and cuddly, Kevin is slick, cool and standoffish.

Then, again, Kevin is a snake. If it's possible for snakes to be pretty, Kevin is.

Snakes fascinate me. If I'm 100% IT'S NOT GOING TO SINK ITS FANGS INTO ME AND INJECT SNAKE VENOM *OR* WRAP ITSELF AROUND MY THROAT AND SUFFOCATE ME, I like to hold them.

I've never seen a snake eat before IN REAL LIFE so when Paige asked if I wanted to feed him, I chomped at the chance. Apparently Kevin hadn't been fed in a while because when she reached in to grab him, he BIT her! AND DREW BLOOD! She's had him 10 years and he's never done that before so I think he was just showing off for me.

I was fantastically inspired by my brush with The Wild Things, so exercising creative license I went to work on a beloved (albeit macabre) English Nursery Rhyme. Be sure to scroll down for the pictures that inspired this literary masterpiece.

Freeze Dried Mice
(hummed to the tune of Three Blind Mice)

Freeze-dried mice. Freeze-dried mice.

See how they're done. See how they're done.

They're bred for food , it's the Circle of Life.

Snake's jaw unhinges, devours in one bite!

Have you ever seen such a fright in your life?!

As freeze-dried mice.

Look at the composition of this shot; I had NO idea the cross on the wall showed up in the picture. Heck, I didn't even notice the cross until I saw the picture!

Kevin makes me glad I'm warm-blooded.

Bonus, if you are half as fascinated as I was--I recorded a few seconds of Kevin eating. And once again, I'm reminded why I don't have a career in radio.

pensieve.me

The happiest celebration of them all (pssst--help me surprise HIM!!)

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It's a Zen thing

(be) loved

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.This is the true self.Every other identity is illusion.”

I assumed she knew.

Is it simply that knowing with your head doesn’t equal believing with your heart?

Garden + HEART = Celebration

With that in mind, I'm extending a strong call to action:

an (un)common adventure

The words and wisdom of a Ragamuffin

Of mice and men: a tale of two breakfasts

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.
This is the true self.
Every other identity is illusion.”