✖Hello there,

Clouds

2012-06-22T05:41:00.000+08:00

I tried drawing clouds, seems like a dumb idea.
I wanna shop for shoes tmr, i mean later...
I did a puffin yesterday...
What I mean is...
I once loved attention, now I just feel like drinking,...
I mean drawing.
But I don't...
Hey, *cough- we should be friends?
I should just try and sleep.

But I've got things I wanna say...

Water.

2012-04-02T22:32:00.004+08:00

Birds, are the keepers....

2012-03-27T03:11:00.001+08:00

Had an entire week of block teaching last week. Can't explain how insane it was to just try and stay awake. Imagine a 10am-4pm lecture of the same module from mon-thurs with (thank gawd) at least an hour of lunch break and a few coffee breaks for...coffee, a lot of coffee. So my fight against these spells were these birds (and some other stuff I doodled on my friends notes).

I'm starting another collection of sketches in tiny card forms, these time as stress-relievers while studying at work at night. I've done two today, can't wait to see how it all turns out at the end of the week.

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Untitled.

2012-03-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

Am I foolish if I had been shy, and kept a secret.
So we'd still be somehow aquainted,
or almost like strangers.

Weekends.

2012-02-27T00:37:00.003+08:00

I can let certain things affect the way I feel, or I can choose not to.
Either way its my choice, and its my fault if I feel horrible.
Just Breathe, and remember all the good things that happened this weekend.
It could be denial, but it always works.

Moth.

2012-02-21T03:05:00.000+08:00

I'VE GOTTA BLOG.
ABOUT.
THIS.

Me getting rid of MOTH from room.

Very eventful.

I feel like the bravest person EVER LIVED.

You see,...

I've been working at my friends' shop that sells absolutely nothing an ant would be interested in. But in the last few weeks, I have managed to fight a war with ants (using ant poison), with mosquitoes (using old invoice papers), and cockroaches (shelltox, obviously) and many more unknown creatures. But this creature I manage not to kill, and still feel like the only complete zen person on earth.

(In case you're wondering, the shop's on the bottom level of a HDB block, probably explains why its like a zoo and I believe non of us working there are responsible for all the unwanted-attraction.)

So I'm back from work, pass 12 and my room's NOT the only one all lit up. But I've got Moth trying to get my attention. I'm scared of the dark, so imagine me reaching out for the switch in my room, and spots this random black thing flying around my room.

I tried everything, using my only knowledge (or belief) that moths are attracted to light. Example, switch lights on and off, turns on light somewhere else in the hall, takes stick to beat around the room, do shuttle runs for nothing. I knew it wasn't going to work cause I was afraid that the moth would leave its "itchy-powder" all over my bed (another belief, which I promise am gonna Google and see if its true, later).

THANK GAWD for the princess/mosquito net/curtain thingy hanging over my bed that's probably too useful in situations like these. Saved my doll, the underwear (that I was gonna change into) and PJs, made sure there was no way this moth was going to touch my bed, turned off the room lights, turned on the lights outside and went to bathe. Hoping the moth was going to love the air (and light) outside better.

NO.

I came back, checked the toilet, the hall (and found my brother still playing the xbox and realised that if he hadn't chickened out yet the moth definitely has not been there), the kitchen, and actually my house is honestly not big at all so no need for so much checking.

NO MOTH.

Peeked into my room, used the stick to beat around, figured it'd leave me alone, opened the net thingy and AH! MOTH ON THE NET.

Runs out. Runs back. Sees moth still motionless.
Can't wake dad, can't wake mum, definitely can't be bothered to ask the brother.

Attempt no. 2 and definitely more productive.

Container Hunting.

Was tempted to dump all the chinese new year goodies into one container so I could at least use one of it to breed a moth but figured mama would be pissed so,... blahblah rampaged through kitchen got a container, a shallow container. Garnered all the powers of Hades and Zeus and marched into my room.

Oh, moth still motionless. So there's me, left hand container, right hand container lid and clamps Moth till it freaks out. OH, NOW YOU'RE FREAKING OUT HUH. HAHA.

Success! How easy. Cause the dumb thing started fluttering in the container i felt so bad I had to let it go. My brother didn't want his game to be interrupted so I was in this fight, alone. Picture this, I had my left leg holding the front door, right leg doing this half squat and body leaning forward and trying to open this lid and just run the * back into the house. Like a very bad ballet dancer. Remember I just showered with a horrible mane, and in my PJs. Imagine if you were my neighbour, who's just adjacent to my front door looking through the peep-hole. Gee.

All this time Moth was like going through turbulence so it was flying around the container like it was trying to get to the nearest exit as soon as any was available. I was just hoping it wouldn't fly into my face when it got out.

Anyhow I popped open the lid, dropped everything and....

half my body's into the house and realised -the darn * was somehow glued to the bottom of the container. I can't think of any thing else to curse at it, cause I was gonna say it had a bird-brain but obviously it has an even smaller brain. It's so sad.

Held it up, dropped it again and ran back in. I don't know if its finally out of touch with anything that's in the house or from the house but its definitely free, and I woke my parents up.

Instead of apologising, I was making my dad praise me for being SOOO BRAVEEE. He just made sure I turned the lights off and went back to sleep. I'll try again tomorrow but anyhow, I'm happy and very very proud I'm actually writing this to show-off.

What a wuss.

Suns from the North-east

2012-01-02T04:09:00.002+08:00

got nothin much to update the world about. if its anything personal i'd like to share... one, i've watched sherlock holmes, puss in boots and war horse over the last three weeks. the last has obviously been the best movie to end the year with. two, drivin manual cars after 2 yrs is scary. never felt more alive right before 2012. three, nothing beats a "coffeeshop" gathering to welcome the new year with just the few people i love. four, i'm gonna put these here - the few videos i compiled from my trip in uk, for good memories and convenience sake.
cheers, and happy new year.

Gifts.

2011-12-06T22:18:00.001+08:00

she should have known, that she'd probably only marry a wall.
not that she had no choice, but life had its temptations.
if there's someone, would it be more peaceful, beautiful?
or would it end her chances of exploring truths and lies,
no more secret talks with flowers, books and fantasies.

life didn't have to be complicated, they said.
her life doesn't have to end, she thought.
but what's love, what's life?
and what could help them believe,
that it's alright to be free.

she didn't have to stay lonely, they said.
their lives have their own beauty, she thought.
but what's love, what's life?
and what could help her believe,
that anything could be possible.

Fat Flights

2011-12-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

and dangerous dreams...

Breathless

2011-11-29T19:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes as I, alone and shy, am walkin through a crowd. The pressure sets in, but it feels good. I absorb the energy, but it overwhelms. Then I feel a shiver, and I can't feel those legs. I made it through the pack, now sitted and alone. It feels good again.

Bunny Year

2011-11-28T02:50:00.002+08:00

The year is almost over soon, which is bad news. Everytime I count down to handing in one more report is one week closer to the end of the year. From this time onwards I feel doomed in a world of deadlines and more deadlines. My drawing obsession and procrastinating habits are making my graduation seem rather grey. Anyhow, my camera batt is doomed too, so I had to capture it with my phone. (couldn't wait to show off...) At some point of time, I thought it'd end up getting pretty screwed,... I believe it looks alright now. It's probably the result of having coffee at 2300hrs and am still feeling wide awake after finally finishing up a report. P/s I just gave it carrots, the final drawing will be on flickr. I promise.

Cloudy Spaces

2011-11-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

I had a dream last night. I dreamt we were all fat or skinny but old. And all the dreams now never were, but time and love made all things good, and bad but good somehow.

Every Devil

2011-11-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

is probably getting the wrong idea. This came about cause i was bored in class (as usual). It's a sheep skull by the way, I don't know what you're thinkin' about. Mam didn't even take a look at it,... apparently my friend's joke about "anything that doesn't make money shouldn't be good" is getting cold and they probably still think its funny. Maybe I'm a little petty, even if I'm not it was rather hurtful, and i'm still hurt. Yea, should just focus on being some engineer.

Eat it Up, Its Good for You.

2011-11-23T15:12:00.002+08:00

I remember when we (whoever was addicted) used to get fat on Season's Ice Lemon Tea, but now most (probably all) of the drink machines have replaced that fat with Heaven and Earth.

Lollipopsss.

2011-11-18T19:41:00.002+08:00

Pumps.

2011-11-10T18:21:00.007+08:00

a string of red bumps on my bum. please no re-occurrence, i remembered it stung pretty good. if my fleshy body part relates bad news tmr, no, there's a job tmr... ain't got the time to see the doctor either. gotta get my priorities right. what ride? damn these pox viruses, makes me paranoid. in any case, im hopin there aint gonna be some test on what should be achieved in life, and what not. life's first plan is changing this place into a cottage, then draw till the world goes crazy for more, bugs.

Laundry

2011-11-04T18:11:00.018+08:00

Watched Big Fish last week,... Incredibly touching, mostly remembered the bathtub scene. Maybe cause it had my dream victorian tub,...Watched the Three Musketeers, nothing much. Just a girl from that era who could manage a high kick and still made it look so sexy. I just drew a something something with tits.

Zapper me.

2011-10-23T22:21:00.005+08:00

its been a crazy week where everything seemed like success, in which i mean happiness, friends and many things that made me feel accomplished. made some money while rubbing shoulders with people who are rich whom i don't know and have not known till this point and probably won't need to know in the future. meeting Dita Von Teese in person made me horny, but it was only a few seconds then I had to lift trays till my left arm is paralysed. its like sex but i cldn't remember if it even happened, like a dream. as you may know also, all black attire for a girl most probably includes heels, heels equals blisters and dead ankles.

while its all over, i was happy then and happy now. then it hits me. next week's filled with "mark your calendar" activities too. marine offshore and mechanics "answer crazy qns" quiz and talk to your lecturer and update him how much you have (not) done leading to the literature review.

those cute elephants or rabbits that i promised have to wait, somehow it has to wait. but i really don't feel like studying or reading anything related to the degree now. procrastination at its best, muahaha.

Lecturers.

2011-09-30T01:13:00.005+08:00

...gonna keep going from next week on, till we could sing Alice Cooper's school's out.

"Look back I sift through all the cliques
Roaming' the halls all year, making me sick
While everyone's out tryin to make the cut"
-Deftones

Storm the Air.

2011-09-21T01:55:00.004+08:00

"I just farted!"
"That's gross."
"Oh yea? Who ain't gross?"

Sleeping Promises.

2011-09-19T00:02:00.007+08:00

An entire day in and outta home with the family - mass, prawn noodles (allowing my ink on skin patches itch crazily, i think i have a allergy prob), catching up on cable, drove to Keppel to surprise my brother (I need to celebrate!) and dinner at a hawker with a "born to be businessman". I was reminded to complete the zombie quest on xbox with my brother on the way back but he's now very comfortable snuggled on the living room couch, snoring! My neighbours are about to fall through the roof from all the soccer excitement... I'm really wishing one day they'd move out soon.

I'm just gonna stuff my face later with another tub of ice cream that fell from heaven.

Snotch.

2011-09-17T06:00:00.006+08:00

A week filled with loads of sleep till evening, getting back my camera from keppel bay towers, finally finishing the two bottles of Durham Ale, more horrible singing while standing or squatting on the couch and sending a close friend off to Manchester. There was something I thought of mentioning earlier but the sound of something something moving the plastic bag in the kitchen is freaking me out. The entire family (other than thee) have had an orchestra of snores and I'm sneaking to bed now before the sun rises.

I've figured I'm happier with living it simple. Buy a cottage and grow a garden. Save me at least some good mama's meals and tuneful, poetic music. I can talk to birds. Life's just crowded with people and exams. My mind's had a few busy weeks. It's a little more settled now. Cheers!

Sulking.

2011-09-15T00:09:00.012+08:00

Picking My Socks is playing such a huge joke on me. It's not taking me seriously by coming back late and then much earlier. It's forcing me to deal with it by just... wanting to be alone. I can't seem to think happy thoughts, I've been crude talking (not violent but just.. very vulgar verbal expressions) and I feel like an outcast. It's not a bad thing, I think I've always been an outcast, so I keep to a few good ol' buddies. I just hate the feeling of being judged. I feel like a weirdo. I'm actually happier keeping it this way. I just want to day-dream all day, hum a random tune, think of different what-if/ could-be scenarios, and wonder what if I'm actually.. anything at all. Explains why I've been such an a-hole ignoring calls and messages, and prefer to just stay in dreamland till my body screams for water over food. I need to apologise for anyone who cares about my mental state, I'm really fine. I take occasional looks at myself in the mirror and I think I'm weird. I can't do anything about it and I don't want to. I don't want to change anything about me.. hmm.

I'm sketching a swan feather, I'm not doing it for myself. I'm taking reference from this black and white photograph and it looks so beautiful on its own I just feel like giving up and do something else. I feel like giving up, ugh. When is school starting? I don't want to care, I don't think I want to know. Someone mentioned the coming Chinese New Year is going to be smacked rightttt in the middle of the end semester exams. Very nice, very very nice. I'm going to laugh myself crazy till the time comes. There's still the Final Year Project. I. Really. Can't. Think. About. Anything. Else. Now. I don't want to care, I don't think I want to... Oh Father of Jesus. I actually have no choice. I'm actually panicking.

There's so many "actuallies" in this post.

Stranger's Crush.

2011-09-11T23:46:00.008+08:00

I need to get this out, to what goes on in this minūtus head on seeing - Cockroaches.

It (this brain) can never process when people tell me that it (God's-failure-of-a-creation and "what is it good for, absolutely nothing"-Edwin Starr) is "smaller than you", "it can't harm you" or "grab that baygon" 'cause I also think that thing can teleport. Honestly, even if it eats dirt and clean the streets by clearing up scraps, WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' UGLYYY? It gives me the same reaction when I play Call of Duty and keep gettin' shot at - Freeze or... think that's it's gonna eat my brains. I should draw one and get over the fear of it. Maybe eat one. No no no, I can't even look at it.

Every twin in the world should one day wear the same outfits and confuse the hell outta people.

When I'm deprived of chocolate chip cookie dough for two days, I'll begin to believe that whatever I say is going to be funny. I can't go cold turkey on ice cream. I can't, I can't! I need intervention.

What is harder to kill? Zombies? or Cockroaches?
Maybe there should be a bonus game in Modern Warfare with cockroaches,
I'll probably throw the controller at the screen.

Sneaky Rumours.

2011-09-11T00:41:00.007+08:00

It's a brilliant time to actually be alone now, sleep till evening and have lunch till its dinnertime.

I may have a problem with love & relationships, but one thing I'm absolutely sure of, is that I

Terribly Terribly, Terribly detest cockroaches, and that I hate making a scene in public but I can't help it. Pardon my screams and please forget my face because it was the most embarrassing thing ever and my friends, all men, were still unwilling to budge from their seats. It's all cool. Because I was already this close to experiencing menopause (before all that drama) from the fact that I was already upset about having a nine-month wait to meet a friend who's always too busy and still being left waiting perhaps till I get grey. It's all cool.

I hereby apologise to the world for being such a clear disaster and I'm gonna blast some metal music into my ears now and down some beer. Cheers to happiness, and to this day that I was suppose to had prayed for to never have existed.