✖Hello there,

Suns from the North-east

2012-01-02T04:09:00.002+08:00

got nothin much to update the world about. if its anything personal i'd like to share... one, i've watched sherlock holmes, puss in boots and war horse over the last three weeks. the last has obviously been the best movie to end the year with. two, drivin manual cars after 2 yrs is scary. never felt more alive right before 2012. three, nothing beats a "coffeeshop" gathering to welcome the new year with just the few people i love. four, i'm gonna put these here - the few videos i compiled from my trip in uk, for good memories and convenience sake.
cheers, and happy new year.

Gifts.

2011-12-06T22:18:00.001+08:00

she should have known, that she'd probably only marry a wall.
not that she had no choice, but life had its temptations.
if there's someone, would it be more peaceful, beautiful?
or would it end her chances of exploring truths and lies,
no more secret talks with flowers, books and fantasies.

life didn't have to be complicated, they said.
her life doesn't have to end, she thought.
but what's love, what's life?
and what could help them believe,
that it's alright to be free.

she didn't have to stay lonely, they said.
their lives have their own beauty, she thought.
but what's love, what's life?
and what could help her believe,
that anything could be possible.

Fat Flights

2011-12-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

and dangerous dreams...

Breathless

2011-11-29T19:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes as I, alone and shy, am walkin through a crowd. The pressure sets in, but it feels good. I absorb the energy, but it overwhelms. Then I feel a shiver, and I can't feel those legs. I made it through the pack, now sitted and alone. It feels good again.

Bunny Year

2011-11-28T02:50:00.002+08:00

The year is almost over soon, which is bad news. Everytime I count down to handing in one more report is one week closer to the end of the year. From this time onwards I feel doomed in a world of deadlines and more deadlines. My drawing obsession and procrastinating habits are making my graduation seem rather grey. Anyhow, my camera batt is doomed too, so I had to capture it with my phone. (couldn't wait to show off...) At some point of time, I thought it'd end up getting pretty screwed,... I believe it looks alright now. It's probably the result of having coffee at 2300hrs and am still feeling wide awake after finally finishing up a report. P/s I just gave it carrots, the final drawing will be on flickr. I promise.

Cloudy Spaces

2011-11-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

I had a dream last night. I dreamt we were all fat or skinny but old. And all the dreams now never were, but time and love made all things good, and bad but good somehow.

Every Devil

2011-11-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

is probably getting the wrong idea. This came about cause i was bored in class (as usual). It's a sheep skull by the way, I don't know what you're thinkin' about. Mam didn't even take a look at it,... apparently my friend's joke about "anything that doesn't make money shouldn't be good" is getting cold and they probably still think its funny. Maybe I'm a little petty, even if I'm not it was rather hurtful, and i'm still hurt. Yea, should just focus on being some engineer.

Eat it Up, Its Good for You.

2011-11-23T15:12:00.002+08:00

I remember when we (whoever was addicted) used to get fat on Season's Ice Lemon Tea, but now most (probably all) of the drink machines have replaced that fat with Heaven and Earth.

Lollipopsss.

2011-11-18T19:41:00.002+08:00

Pumps.

2011-11-10T18:21:00.007+08:00

a string of red bumps on my bum. please no re-occurrence, i remembered it stung pretty good. if my fleshy body part relates bad news tmr, no, there's a job tmr... ain't got the time to see the doctor either. gotta get my priorities right. what ride? damn these pox viruses, makes me paranoid. in any case, im hopin there aint gonna be some test on what should be achieved in life, and what not. life's first plan is changing this place into a cottage, then draw till the world goes crazy for more, bugs.

Laundry

2011-11-04T18:11:00.018+08:00

Watched Big Fish last week,... Incredibly touching, mostly remembered the bathtub scene. Maybe cause it had my dream victorian tub,...Watched the Three Musketeers, nothing much. Just a girl from that era who could manage a high kick and still made it look so sexy. I just drew a something something with tits.

Zapper me.

2011-10-23T22:21:00.005+08:00

its been a crazy week where everything seemed like success, in which i mean happiness, friends and many things that made me feel accomplished. made some money while rubbing shoulders with people who are rich whom i don't know and have not known till this point and probably won't need to know in the future. meeting Dita Von Teese in person made me horny, but it was only a few seconds then I had to lift trays till my left arm is paralysed. its like sex but i cldn't remember if it even happened, like a dream. as you may know also, all black attire for a girl most probably includes heels, heels equals blisters and dead ankles.

while its all over, i was happy then and happy now. then it hits me. next week's filled with "mark your calendar" activities too. marine offshore and mechanics "answer crazy qns" quiz and talk to your lecturer and update him how much you have (not) done leading to the literature review.

those cute elephants or rabbits that i promised have to wait, somehow it has to wait. but i really don't feel like studying or reading anything related to the degree now. procrastination at its best, muahaha.

Lecturers.

2011-09-30T01:13:00.005+08:00

...gonna keep going from next week on, till we could sing Alice Cooper's school's out.

"Look back I sift through all the cliques
Roaming' the halls all year, making me sick
While everyone's out tryin to make the cut"
-Deftones

Storm the Air.

2011-09-21T01:55:00.004+08:00

"I just farted!"
"That's gross."
"Oh yea? Who ain't gross?"

Sleeping Promises.

2011-09-19T00:02:00.007+08:00

An entire day in and outta home with the family - mass, prawn noodles (allowing my ink on skin patches itch crazily, i think i have a allergy prob), catching up on cable, drove to Keppel to surprise my brother (I need to celebrate!) and dinner at a hawker with a "born to be businessman". I was reminded to complete the zombie quest on xbox with my brother on the way back but he's now very comfortable snuggled on the living room couch, snoring! My neighbours are about to fall through the roof from all the soccer excitement... I'm really wishing one day they'd move out soon.

I'm just gonna stuff my face later with another tub of ice cream that fell from heaven.

Snotch.

2011-09-17T06:00:00.006+08:00

A week filled with loads of sleep till evening, getting back my camera from keppel bay towers, finally finishing the two bottles of Durham Ale, more horrible singing while standing or squatting on the couch and sending a close friend off to Manchester. There was something I thought of mentioning earlier but the sound of something something moving the plastic bag in the kitchen is freaking me out. The entire family (other than thee) have had an orchestra of snores and I'm sneaking to bed now before the sun rises.

I've figured I'm happier with living it simple. Buy a cottage and grow a garden. Save me at least some good mama's meals and tuneful, poetic music. I can talk to birds. Life's just crowded with people and exams. My mind's had a few busy weeks. It's a little more settled now. Cheers!

Sulking.

2011-09-15T00:09:00.012+08:00

Picking My Socks is playing such a huge joke on me. It's not taking me seriously by coming back late and then much earlier. It's forcing me to deal with it by just... wanting to be alone. I can't seem to think happy thoughts, I've been crude talking (not violent but just.. very vulgar verbal expressions) and I feel like an outcast. It's not a bad thing, I think I've always been an outcast, so I keep to a few good ol' buddies. I just hate the feeling of being judged. I feel like a weirdo. I'm actually happier keeping it this way. I just want to day-dream all day, hum a random tune, think of different what-if/ could-be scenarios, and wonder what if I'm actually.. anything at all. Explains why I've been such an a-hole ignoring calls and messages, and prefer to just stay in dreamland till my body screams for water over food. I need to apologise for anyone who cares about my mental state, I'm really fine. I take occasional looks at myself in the mirror and I think I'm weird. I can't do anything about it and I don't want to. I don't want to change anything about me.. hmm.

I'm sketching a swan feather, I'm not doing it for myself. I'm taking reference from this black and white photograph and it looks so beautiful on its own I just feel like giving up and do something else. I feel like giving up, ugh. When is school starting? I don't want to care, I don't think I want to know. Someone mentioned the coming Chinese New Year is going to be smacked rightttt in the middle of the end semester exams. Very nice, very very nice. I'm going to laugh myself crazy till the time comes. There's still the Final Year Project. I. Really. Can't. Think. About. Anything. Else. Now. I don't want to care, I don't think I want to... Oh Father of Jesus. I actually have no choice. I'm actually panicking.

There's so many "actuallies" in this post.

Stranger's Crush.

2011-09-11T23:46:00.008+08:00

I need to get this out, to what goes on in this minūtus head on seeing - Cockroaches.

It (this brain) can never process when people tell me that it (God's-failure-of-a-creation and "what is it good for, absolutely nothing"-Edwin Starr) is "smaller than you", "it can't harm you" or "grab that baygon" 'cause I also think that thing can teleport. Honestly, even if it eats dirt and clean the streets by clearing up scraps, WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' UGLYYY? It gives me the same reaction when I play Call of Duty and keep gettin' shot at - Freeze or... think that's it's gonna eat my brains. I should draw one and get over the fear of it. Maybe eat one. No no no, I can't even look at it.

Every twin in the world should one day wear the same outfits and confuse the hell outta people.

When I'm deprived of chocolate chip cookie dough for two days, I'll begin to believe that whatever I say is going to be funny. I can't go cold turkey on ice cream. I can't, I can't! I need intervention.

What is harder to kill? Zombies? or Cockroaches?
Maybe there should be a bonus game in Modern Warfare with cockroaches,
I'll probably throw the controller at the screen.

Sneaky Rumours.

2011-09-11T00:41:00.007+08:00

It's a brilliant time to actually be alone now, sleep till evening and have lunch till its dinnertime.

I may have a problem with love & relationships, but one thing I'm absolutely sure of, is that I

Terribly Terribly, Terribly detest cockroaches, and that I hate making a scene in public but I can't help it. Pardon my screams and please forget my face because it was the most embarrassing thing ever and my friends, all men, were still unwilling to budge from their seats. It's all cool. Because I was already this close to experiencing menopause (before all that drama) from the fact that I was already upset about having a nine-month wait to meet a friend who's always too busy and still being left waiting perhaps till I get grey. It's all cool.

I hereby apologise to the world for being such a clear disaster and I'm gonna blast some metal music into my ears now and down some beer. Cheers to happiness, and to this day that I was suppose to had prayed for to never have existed.

I know, You see.

2011-08-05T18:11:00.007+08:00

Make me proud, that was all you had to do.
Prove yourselves, not greed for more.
Some were to be taught,
some had to be learned.

And before I start to look like Miss Think-I'm-Too-Cool cause I've got four tatts, I need to clarify that I am Not proud to make mama cry when she found out about it. And it wasn't easy prepping to not say anything back because there is nothing far worst than seeing your own flesh and blood possibly looky like she's going to ruin herself with a few ink patches, but I made it. And I'm glad I have a mama who truly loves me no matter what happens. Family, best gift ever in life hmm?

I'm in Newcastle & in love.

2011-07-21T05:38:00.005+08:00

...in love with this place.

I've been blogging over at some e-portfolio blog within' the school community because they wanted us to leave somethin' behind before we head home. Just thought maybe if you need somethin' horrible to read, here it is...

Title: Rehab Center
Tue, 12/07/11

You can call me Nat. You're at Nat's blog. I'm 22 years old. Borned 040489. We're told to do a little introduction but I don't know how to describe myself. My mood's unpredictable, I can't figure out what I really adore so I just behave crazily.

I'm getting scrawny from bread and salad, and I don't like it. I miss it, I miss home, and I miss my dog. If I had spent more time studying instead of day-dreaming and scribbling nonsense I wouldn't have to take a re-sit exams for two modules.

I like to people watch, and complicated architecture. Maybe that's why I loved France and churches. I'm a sunday catholic, I really miss my dog. I have a doll that I bring around with me to sleep at night. Some find it creepy but its terribly precious to me.

I love beer. But I can't drink alot. Now there's a voice telling us that "this session is officially over, you may choose to stay with your groups..." No. I'm going for lunch now. I'm starving...

Title: Bridges and the Rain.
Tue, 19/07/11

I'd love to brag that the Nike joggin' waterproof jacket that I got from London and the Brasher walkin' boots was a hellishly good investment for the weather we've been blessed with in Newcastle. I wanna brag that I cooked my very first meal for dinner yesterday and it was still edible. I think papa would be proud.

I believe about half of our people watched Harry Potter today. I own a pair of 3D glasses now I'm feelin' so happy. Actually I just watch movies to enjoy it with my cookie dough Ben & Jerry's ice cream (O right, and the amazing company)

Mentionin' 'bout Ice-Cream, my lovely mates. I spotted Baskin' Robbins today too. *slurps.

A buncha us walked the Newcastle Quayside today, and enjoyed some beer till the lights (from the bridges) came on. It's a lovely chilled day (and night). Side note: The Asian Hercules II was the crane that made the millennium bridge possible. All Hail Singaporeans!

About school, there's nothin' to brag 'cause its been fun fun fun and lazy wake up times. Must I really write a CV... *whimpers.

The down sides of life. My blackberry screen is screwed... I bought a "army s*phone" from vodafone - a 25pounds vodafone phone. I'm happy. At least I can hold on to somethin' and feel connected with my mates.

Sinners is still my favourite club. Ore is a get-go for us, gettin' all the attention in the club 'cause he's an amazin' amazin' amazin' dancer. I'm excited 'bout York, more nights out, more shopping, and the rain.. yea. It's all very very cool.

P/s I have very bad cravings for roasted duck. Bad bad, it's pass midnight.

Dedicated to: Those leavin' their lights on to sleep for the past few nights and Sam! 'Cause good gawd Tim Knol really has some sorta resemblance to you.

Title: Shop till the Sun Goes Down.
Wed, 20/07/11

I think I spent 100SGD at the Metro Shopping Center today. But I'm so *$%!#@ happy. Somehow it's the first time I returned with an empty wallet and still feel like I had downed a pint of beer. High with spending money. Never heard that one before haven't you.

Adam, Isa, Xingfu and I had dinner at RICE. It's treat your friend wednesday, so they had a get a second main course for one pound deal. I had my favourite Japanese chicken katsu curry rice. Adam had Thai green curry with chicken, and rice. Xingfu and Isa had Nasi... Nasi... something. I had some of it, I never really take spice 'cause I can't take it. You should had seen how almost-immediately my face turned red after taking a mouth of their rice. But the curry taste was so good I had to have more of it. Now my stomach is cramping up, not a good sign. But I'M SO HAPPY!

It's off to York tmr! I don't know what's there but one of my relatives... (this will be fun) My cousin from Malaysia, daughter's husband's mum, is from York. She told me she haven't gotten sick of having grown old there. She told me how she loved dancin' with the sailors in the bar when she was younger. And she was one of the most lovely lady I've ever spoken to. Very cool, cause during her son's wedding, while they were playing rock n rolls songs she dragged me up to dance with her. She's 70, but she's still got it in her. So maybe I'll love York.

Maybe I'm just in a hellishly good mood. If its a brilliant scenic place, maybe its even better so I could have a break from all the shopping.

The shopping here is so addictive! Whoopeeyabayaba...

Fireflies.

2011-05-26T05:02:00.006+08:00

A short break from all the brain-crammin' madness.

It feels great being with someone,
and being able to be yourself.
Takes a s*loada patience and understanding.
Takes a s*loada effort,
but it's all worth it.

"I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly..."
- Owl City

Bliss.

2011-04-27T01:39:00.002+08:00

Completed this during mass on the 17th.

It's been some time since I drew robots for me love.

We have all been really busy people, haven't we?

Chasin' the Full Moon

2011-04-19T03:09:00.008+08:00

2136hrs
J: Go look at the moon and tell me what you see
N: A full moon!!
J: Do you see anything on it?
N: Issit a shape of a rabbit?
J: Haha, mother Mary cradling baby Jesus
N: Oh I see! Like those on pictures we see.
J: Yes. Exactly like the Holy pictures right? So Amazing.
N: But you know while I was on my way back home and I kept tryin' to spot the moon after every time it gets blocked by the buildings. And I get so happy when I spot it.
Wanted to capture it down and name it "Chasin' the Full Moon" like how the moon is "happiness". Most people don't look at it, won't search for it or open themselves to it. So they won't have happiness. But if they do, hehe. It's such a beauty.

-"Supermoon" by Alvin Paul Azurin

Tick Tock

2011-04-04T00:12:00.006+08:00

Excited while i'm getting older

with a massive flood of wishes

whom had their reminders

Blessed with my first phone call

with the sweetest birthday song

I'm feeling all the love

this 22 years could've left me with.

Once a year, an oreo "birthday" cheesecake!