On The Bench

Good Morning:)

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:27:00 +0000

Good Morning fellow losers! Where has the time gone? Almost a year ago I was waiting for weight loss surgery and today I am a different person. It's sad to say but as we move forward in our journey the old way falls away and life takes hold of us and we no longer remember that there are others in the place we no longer are bound too. For someone just beginning their journey, I'm sure there must be some frustration over the lack of encouragement and involvement from those of us who have been delivered from our eating addictions. For my part in that I apologize, I should be there for others but I admit I fall short of helping others. This is not because I have forgotten or that I don't want to give back because I do want to give back and help others, I do give back and help others but now it is in a different way.

This surgery has given me a new life and with that new life I now have a new forum, a forum that is no longer confined to the world wide web but now, the whole wide world. Before all I could do was sit in front of this computer but now as a much healthier, active person I find that I need to be out in the world. God gave me this great gift and now I use it in a broader forum, I use it to be seen because in seeing the changes face to face people can relate and picture where their lives can be after this surgery. As a person who has been given a second chance, I now see that I must be out in the world doing instead of being unhealthy and sitting doing nothing. I have been blessed to be able to walk again, to talk again, to interact, and grow. I see a whole life that I had been missing for so long, there is beauty in this world that God granted us to see but under the suppression of my unhealthy state all I seen was those things closest around me and not all that God has given me to experience.

So know this gentle reader, while it seems that I have forgotten you know that I have not. It is only my desire that God use me now to be a living witness for His glory and to help those who are out there in the world who may not have the luxury of this web to identify and learn from my success through this surgery. I pray that those of you who are beginning your journey will continue to fight the fight and not give up because you deserve to find the health and life that obesity has taken from you.

God Bless you all!

B12 Deficiency?

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:06:00 +0000

I have been real good up until now where my B12 was concerned, to be honest all my labs look good last time I was at the doctors. Today though I am left wondering, "am I B12 deficient?"

I've been walking for about 3 wks. now but in the last several days I cannot even manage to muster up the energy to do ANYTHING.... I mean not even dishes! I find myself needing to sleep all the time and I hate this need since I did this for the last 2 yrs. of my life prior to RNY. As I sit here even the act of having to type this out is almost more than I can handle. I did a search for B12 deficiency symptoms and was surprised at what I learned.

The most noticable symptoms of B12 deficiency include being tired, lethargic, weakness, constipation, and lots of gas but there are more severe cases as listed below.

Severe cases can give vitamin b12 deficiency symptoms, which include:

Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet
Insomnia
Loss of memory
Dizziness
Lack of balance
Depression
Digestive problems
Dizziness
Liver enlargement
Eye problems
Headaches
Hallucinations
Inflamed tongue
Breathing difficulties
Loss of memory
Palpitations
Neurological damage
Tinitus or ringing in the ears

You don't say eh? I would not have known there were that many side effects if it were not for the fact that I have several of them though I thought they were for another reason. It makes me wonder if the seizures some of us have had or are having has something to do with B12, they say that even if you are just borderline you can suffer from alot of these symptoms. I guess the best thing we can do is be proactive in our healthcare and even when we aren't seeing our bariatric doctor to have a blood test done at least once a month with your family physician. Being proactive in your healthcare is much better than finding yourself in my position where I don't even know if I can manage to get myself to the doctor for being so out of it. Please heed the signs and take care of yourselves. Have a great day!

Walking

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:21:00 +0000

Last week I realized that if I were going to continue losing I would have to start exercising. I know, I know, your saying, "what?" but I am not a movement type of person being as sick as I was I got in a lazy habit just trying to conserve air. Now here I am 186 lbs. and I realize I am not ready to give in to the slow down cause I want to lose more so this girl is getting busy...Well I started walking and doing crunches.

My first day I strapped my ole pedometer to my shoe and set up on my country road to explore my environment, my goal was to walk a mile up the road and a mile back. So I started getting winded at about a half a mile but I thought I can do this and I did. I did that for the remainder of the week. So This week I strapped on the pedometer and started out again only this time my mile wasn't quite as close so I continued until the pedo said "1 mile." Ok so maybe I just read it wrong so the next day I put 2 pedos on and started out and boy was there ever a huge difference!! As it turns out my first walks were actually 2 miles up and 2 miles back and the days I walked to make the pedo say the right number I was actually walking a total of 6 miles....whew!

Now I know that to you, the kind reader you may be much farther in your walking but for me a person suffering from severe gouty arthritis, man that's a walk! Today I walked 4.15 miles, this is good for me for now, I plan to increase it as time goes on. The funny thing is, is that I feel so good!! I bet you know how this feels already though and are chuckling at my admission but truly it feels great. I guess I will have to get my camera out and walk with it one day so you can see my walk now that I have ventured off my own property and out into the world, we live in a beautiful world you know? We should all thank God for this gift of nature He created just to please us, nobodies!

Living separately from my husband and being on my own has given me alot of time to reflect on my life and where I've been and where I am going from here. The truth that I've learned is when we refused to change, our life stagnates and can sufficate us. I realize now that I've been suffocating for a long time, so long, that I think I've honestly forgotten how it was to breathe on my own. So there is a new me emerging from the darkness, a more resilent, confident, strong me who is chosing not to be sufficated anymore. What does that mean for me and my life? I really don't know but I welcome this new journey and hope that you will walk a new journey in your own life along with me.

I hope you have a blessed day!

Peace!

Edit: I just realized this never got posted so it is a week past since I wrote this! Today I walked a different path and I did take video so soon I will be uploading video for you city folks who want to experience a country walk. Until then, keep chugging along!

Life is good!

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 00:59:00 +0000

I'm horrible sometimes at keeping things up to date so please forgive me! I am officially 8 months out and 120 lbs. down. I weigh 192 lbs. and can wear sizes 14, 16's and mediums and larges...I guess that makes me somewhat close to normal although most people would think that is still huge. I can eat a somewhat normal meal depending on what I am eating and I rarely throw up anymore. Being this far out is more of a struggle now because my weight and eating habits are largely dependent on me and not what the surgery will do for me. While I don't lose as quickly, not even more than 2 to 4 lbs. a month I am still losing inches.

I think I would lose more if I ate better but this is my lifelong struggle. I can eat things that I shouldn't eat and I have learned I still enjoy food too much. Now I am to the point where I really need to exercise but I don't do it as often as I should. I NEVER get in enough protein or vitamins which may be the reason I have recently had a seizure...no reason for me to have one but still I did have one. This is also something that MeltingMama has documented on her website, over 300 people who have had RNY to be exact who now suffer from seizures. When you have a seizure laws states you are no longer allowed to drive for a specific amount of time, in my state, Kentucky it is 3 mos. while in Florida it is 12 mos. in some states it is even longer.
All in all life is good. In less than a year I have went from having to have help walk half way around our less than an acre pond to walking our 3 acre property without being winded at all. It use to be that I barely walked anywhere but now my husband complains that I walk to fast when we are shopping...lol Today, I even road a go-cart around our property and it was so much fun! It's funny to enjoy things that I am what it seems too old for all over again like a child.

Products For Sale

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Wed, 21 May 2008 03:00:00 +0000

I know I've had some people ask about a products list or website...etc.... and while I really want to have a website for you guys to go to I am still working on that but I did want to take a moment and list the things here I can list.

I have started selling Isagenix which I totally believe is going to give the weight loss community a whole new range of excellent products they will love. I currently have a couple items from Isagenix in stock and would like to offer them for sale. The products I have are the Isalean bars in Chocolate Crunch and Peanut Crunch. These come in a box of 10 at a retail cost of $32, yeah pretty expensive I know. What I have done is to buy a box each and will sell them individually so that you can sample one before you purchase a box. Now I am not going to offer this for $3.20 a bar which is what it would be if I were to sell it at retail but will offer these for $2 a bar plus shipping.

Here's is some information from the website about Isalean bars: A Perfect Snack Meal Alternative in a Bar
When you’re on-the-go, give your body a wave of essential nutrients with great-tasting IsaLean Bars. These ideal meal-replacement bars replenish your body with balanced protein, fat and carbohydrates—as well as important vitamins and minerals. When used as part of your Isagenix program, IsaLean Bars maximize your fat burning while safely reducing your caloric intake.

Another Isagenix product I have available is Isagenix Slimcakes. These come 12 to a box and the retail cost is: $34, the individual cost would be $2.83 a piece but I am offering these as a sample so you can try them for only $2 plus shipping.

Here's what the website has to say about these: Fiber Never Tasted So Good
Enjoy each hearty bite of our high fiber, high protein, chocolate chip oatmeal SlimCakes™. Dietary fiber is important for regularity and to promote optimal health. Each cake contains less than 190 calories and is loaded with vitamins and minerals. It’s a perfect snack for all ages.

These you will have to purchase from me because you cannot get these on the website for that price or anywhere probably. I don't know how long this promotion will go on so get them while you can and save.

As you know if you've watched my youtube videos I also sale the BNRG Wafer Bars and the Choklat Crunch Bars. Both products are excellent and you will just love them. I currently have in stock the peanut butter fudge

and the Vanilla in the wafer bars and I am selling them at a better price as I've noticed the price has come down.
You can purchase the wafer bars for only $1.50 each which is reduced from $2

I also still have the Choklat Crunch Bars for sale and I am reducing the price on these from $2.95 to just $2.30 which is what the new price will be for the smaller version but you are getting the larger 2 serving bar for this price. Once these are gone they will no longer be available in the 2 serving size so get them while ya can.

I did not realize when I posted this that I still have some Wafer Bars in Cookies n Cream left but I looked and I have 4 on hand. So if you are interested in these they sell for the same price as the two above.

Another great item I have for sale is from Dymatize. They are now offering protein cereals and I ordered some in to be able to offer as samples at a lower price. The two flavors I have is Tropical Loops and O's. These come in a box of 7 - 16 oz. servings for roughly around $17 to $18, so that is around $2.57 each. I am selling these until I run out for $1.90 each plus shipping.
These cereals are new and come in a variety of flavors. If you are interested in any of the Dymatize products I do offer these for sale but since I don't have a website its impossible for me to mention them all but you can go to:

The next product on the list is Syntha-6 by BSN Online. This is a protein shake with about 22 grams per serving. What I have is their sample stack, they sale it for $9.99 for 5 samples. I am offering it to you here for just $1 per sample.
I have Chocolate Milk Shake, Cookies & Cream, and Chocolate Mint. You can learn more about this product at their website at:

This is such a small sampling of what I sell, I can buy products from most of the companies on the net. Just to give you a sample of who I can buy from here is a small list: Optimum Nutrition, IDS, BSN, Adkins, 4EverFit, Balance Bar Company, Kay's Naturals, Chef Jay's, Axis Labs, Clif Bar, Con-crete, Oh Yeah bars, Labrada, Met-Rx, EAS, Cytosport, Cytodyne, TwinLabs, Trimspa, Myogenix, Glenn Foods, Health From The Sun, Heaven and Earth, Instone, and many, many more. Please if there is something out there you want don't hesitate to ask if I can get it and I will try my best.

Oh and don't forget to order your IDS New Whey Protein Bullets.

To order please contact me at: bakersbazaar@gmail.com or on youtube at: bakersbazaar. All the items listed on this page are listed at or below cost so there will be no additional discounts available for these items.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!

What is your favorite bariatric product?

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:55:00 +0000

I just started a new business selling bariatric products. I decided after searching for good tasting products at a fair price and not finding what I was looking for or finding what I was looking for but it being too expensive I would start my own business. I thought surely there are people out there like me who've had the surgery that would benefit from my knowledge and research so I created a salespoint for anyone interested in saving alittle dough while getting good products could buy them.

Currently, I have only listed items from one of my companies I am doing business with but I have contracted with a company who sales products from over 160 companies that sell most anything you are looking for. Soon I will be selling all sorts of things but in the meantime I would like to know, what is your favorite product and how much do you spend on it and how often? Feel free to comment below this post or to the right of the screen. I really want to hear your thoughts on this! If you would like to check out the products I currently have in my store please visit me at: http://www.bakersbazaar.ecrater.com keep in mind this is just a small amount of items, starting Monday I will be listing new products and if you don't see something you want let me know what it is and if I can get it I will.

Take care and God bless.

Kellie

I just want a drink of water

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:22:00 +0000

"I just want a drink of water!" Do you ever find yourself saying that in your head? Hopefully you don't, with any luck you aren't like me with this puking problem. I sit here tonight and my one constant thought is, "I just want a drink of water." Of course knowing the events of the day that little voice in my head says, "your gonna puke!" You would think it would prevent me from getting a drink of water but to be so thirsty and not be able to drink all day, you keep trying because your body needs it so bad.

This is how my day goes with this one constant in my life. I can tell you the only satisfaction I've had all day is the time that I fell asleep after taking my pain medicine my doctor gave me....it is also the only time that I've managed to keep anything down today. I want to keep telling myself there's another reason for the puking....first I'd tell myself I overate but heck I'm not hardly eating so theres no way to overeat. Then I tell myself that what I ate I was not ready for but truth be told I stick with what I know I can eat so that shouldn't be a problem. Then finally I blame it on the liquid antibiotics because it is full of sugar and bound to make me dump but I quit taking that 2 days ago so what's my excuse? I must still have a stricture! Today I threw up tomato soup...soup for heaven's sake! I'm so frustrated and I'm thristy but I don't want to go to the hospital to get my tank topped off, I'm sick of hospitals. Friday I had to have lithotripsy down to break up a big kidney stone and thats about as much time that I care to spend in the hospital right now!

You know what kills me? I take one sip of water but throw up 2 cups of liquids...how does that happen? I haven't kept down 2 cups of liquid today so go figure. I will never regret my decision to have this surgery but I just wish we could get this little thing taken care of. Has anyone else reading this had a stricture before? How long did it take before it was fixed and you didn't throw up anymore? I use to hate throwing up....I mean I'd turn purple holding it in before I'd ever throw up but now I just open my mouth and out it comes....isn't that strange? On a good note I have lost a total of 64 lbs. now so I'm doing good! 64 lbs. is alot of weight to lose...and yep I got bat wings and it ain't pretty but I didn't do this to be pretty but to be healthy and that I am slowly becoming. Well I guess I am just ranting so I will close for now. Please talk back to me people I wanna hear your voice:) Take care.

Kellie

The Loser's Club

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:19:00 +0000

As I mentioned in a previous post I have a special spot on my blog that I will be using to profile the people of weight loss surgery. I truly want to make this blog not only about my journey but about other's journey's as well. I want to dedicate this site to all those who've gone before me and risked their lives for a better tomorrow with weight loss surgery. So in doing so I have found my first candidate that will be profiled very shortly. You probably already know who it is if you read one of my earlier posts but if you don't you'll have to wait alittle while longer to find out.

I really want to hear from you guys, I know there are so many of you out there who have a story to tell and there are so many people who need to hear it. So please don't be afraid, let your voice be heard! If you are interested in being apart of this at the bottom of this post is a link to my email, click on it and email me. Operators are waiting to answer your call....well no seriously there isn't any operators but I will read your email and get back with ya I promise!! Have a beautiful day!

Kellie

Keeping a food diary, having a stricture, and blowing chunks

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:50:00 +0000

Monday when I was at the doctor he ask me to start keeping a diary of my food intact and everything else since I am having so much trouble keeping food down. I decided that I would post it here and every day I will come back to this post and edit with the days activities and food. I am sharing this here because of the puking and the stricture part because if you ever think you have one you will relate to this part of my journey. I can tell you that I am so frustrated right now I want to cry. Today I picked my daughter up from school and had to take her to therapy I stopped several times to throw up on the way. When we got to the doctor's office I went and threw up again and have been thrown up a couple times since I have been home. Please click the READ MORE link to see my daily journal. Monday Feb. 18, 2008

Just to note: Office visit. Start keeping diary. Had a long day away from home didn't eat until 7pm. Had alittle bit of chicken breast. As usual it stuck so I spent the next

several hours sick until finally at 2am I was able to throw it up. Everytime I tried to drink water during the hours after I ate it would come right back up. Reminder to

mention to Dr. Kehdy: I checked the label on the Muenster cheese I had been eating and it had 0 carbs, 6g fat, 5g protein per slice(22g) with 1 serving of the 98% fatfree

turkey this gives me 14g of protein.

Tuesday Feb. 19, 2008

Breakfast: Tried to eat a tablespoon of cottage cheese and a tbs of applesauce, it didn't agree with me had maybe a teaspoon of each. About 30 mins. later tried to eat a

half a banana. It stayed down but I was uncomfortable the rest of the day.

Lunch: I was at my urologist's office and Jewish hospital getting records during that time so I didn't get to eat.

Dinner: (5pm)Made a 4 oz. piece of fish, ate maybe 3 oz. of it. Made me sick again. After about an hour and a half of eating I drank some water, it came back up. Then I

tried a popsicle an hour or so after that and it came up. Wait another hour took a sip of water, came up again. Waited 2 hrs. took another sip and came up again. By

1am I was throwing it all up...this is why I can't sleep:(

Wednesday Feb. 20, 2008

Happy birthday to me! Sore throat from all this throwing up it feels swollen all the way down. Did the smart thing this morning, tried a couple bites of yogurt took my

daughter to school and amazingly enough it stayed down so I ate alittle more when I got back. Also made me a piece of bacon...but the jury is still out on this one.

Keeping fingers crossed it stays down.

Walked today, did 30 min. areobic exercise, and strength toning.

Lunch - 2 oz. Ground chicken breast. Some cucumber slices. Yeah! Another meal stayed down.

Dinner - 2 small pieces of grilled chikhen size of a quarter, 1 tbsp beans.

snack - salad with lettuce, cucumbers, bacon bits, and lowfat dressing

Thursday Feb. 21, 2008

Breakfast - 1/2 scrambled egg, 1 piece of bacon

Snack - cucumber slices

Lunch - 3 small peices of grilled chicken about the size of a quarter, 1 tbsp beans.

Dinner - Nothing. By the time dinner rolled around I was throwing up lunch. I had no problems with this meal yesterday but today it did not agree with me. It took me

until 1am to finally, finally be able to drink 1 16 oz. bottle of crystal lite because everytime I drank anything I threw it back up.

Friday Feb. 22, 2008

Breakfast - 1/4 cup of oatmeal, turkey sausage patty

Lunch - Tried a 2 small bites of baked pork but it felt like it might make me sick so I ate a teaspoon of green beans and a teaspoon of cabbage. I may still try something

with more protein but I am trying to give my stomach a bit to recover...Just on that little bit I feel so sick. I am physically tired from all this being sick and throwing up.

Not unhappy about my decision....will never be unhappy because I am in such a better place than I was just frustrated. On a good note I did weigh today and am at

255.4 and I'm even on my period so go figure:)

7:38pm - I have been throwing up since 2:30 and all I ate was that little bit I had at lunch. Before I was miserable after dinner until I finally threw up several hours later

which meant I didn't get sleep at night. Now I am throwing up at lunch, forget dinner, forget drinking anything, all I can do is be sick. This is the 2nd day in a row that I

went all day with less than 8 ozs. of liquid in me and that was thrown up! I don't want to have to wait until 2 am again until I can finally drink some liquid and be able to

go to bed. I even took a phenagren suppository. This wasn't your normal throw up where your food just comes right back up no taste or the same taste it had when it

went down this was a horrible, gut wrenching foul tasting puke. I am just so frustrated and tired, each day it gets harder and harder to get me up because of lack of

sleep, each day my energy level drops more and my body aches. Sorry for the rant.

"WLS Rant" - An Interesting Youtube Video You May Want To Weigh In On

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:06:00 +0000

I am a member of Youtube where I share videos with many other wls patients and those waiting to have surgery. This is a wonderful forum to share your journey. Recently I was watching a video called, "WLS Rant" and felt that this would be something that might be of interest to all who are thinking about and have had this surgery. The poster of the video "WLS Rant", AprilDawn77 is "ranting" about how she feels some people get wls for "the easy way out" and others do so but still eat all the wrong things. While her rant may have been meant in a sincere form she comes off to me as being a former "fatty" who now condemns those who have had the surgery like her. Below is the video and then following that is my response to her personally. Click the READ MORE link underneath this video to read the whole story and comment.

Here is the video:

Dear AprilDawn77,

I had planned to make a video in response but felt that instead I would put it here in a forum for all to see and respond to. Please know first that this is just purely my opinion just as you have yours and I am not attacking you personally because I do believe that deep down you had a sincere concern when making your video. I feel that your view of others who have had wls is somehow misguided by what you perceive as supporting your peers. The below comments are my response to you while I watched your video.

Near the beginning of your video you stated that "change didn't happen!" following these people’s wls. I have to disagree with your statement completely because change doesn't happen overnight & this tool is used to allow the person the time to change their mindset. Maybe you were not an "addict" but it doesn't happen overnight. Some drug addicts are prescribed Methadone by doctors to aid them in getting clean. Methadone is a drug but yet because drug addicts need time to change their habits doctors feel this alternative drug will help them until they have gotten clean. So you see even drug addicts don’t quit overnight. I am sure that during your time of “drying out” you may have slipped up at some point but even if you didn’t doesn’t matter some people’s will power may not have been as strong as yours. If you never cheated I commend you for that but I don’t agree that just because you didn’t that you should belittle those who are still learning to change their habits.

I was addicted to food, I was also a very sick and an unhealthy person who would have died without this surgery. I wake up everyday thinking of food, I get bored and look in the fridge, I sit in front of the computer wanting to eat while I type...old habits die hard BUT it doesn't mean that I go in search of comfort food, no I struggle but now with the knowledge that this tool has given my brain a chance to change my mindset with hopes that one day I will no longer be an addict. Not everyone goes home from the hospital with no desire to eat and if you did your journey was so much more simpler than others. Had it been that you went home having a desire to eat you might not be sitting here today publicly condemning what you yourself once was so easily. Personally, I get sick almost everyday and throw up....it has gotten to the point in the last couple of weeks that I was so hungry and so sick that I was happy to just eat ANYTHING to contend with my stomach. If it wasn't for sugar free popsicles I'd probably be dead from the dehydration that I suffer with.....why do I eat them? Because my doctor said, "try popsicles because your liquid will go in much slower that way" and because I can't afford to keep going to the hospital to get pumped full of liquids. Even water hurts my stomach sometimes....is it something I did, nope I had a stricture and probably still do since I am still throwing up 2 months post op. Of course I sound as if I am making excuses for myself but I am not because though I struggle with addiction I know that if I cannot even hold water down at times, pizza isn't going to be my friend either not even the toppings. I will admit to you though and say, yeah I've had something that maybe I shouldn't have & either I paid for it or at least I got something in my stomach that actually stayed down and with no nutrition staying in my body at least there was something there. Is it a habit? Heck no, the only habit I do have right now is that at some point almost every day I will puke. I'm not complaining though because the truth is that regardless I am healthier now then I was just a couple months ago. I also don't tell people that they shouldn't have this surgery because of what I have been through because it saved me and it can and will help countless other people get healthier and live longer.

You ARE a different girl & all of the people you have condemned are different too... didn't you learn that not only your own bad habits put you in the body you were forced to have cut on in order to change it but that the condemnation of others lowered your self esteem to a point where you had no faith or control in yourself? We can look at others and get frustrated all day long at the food they put in their mouths but regardless we will always be, "that person who had to have surgery to get skinny!" Yeah, lets just think about that for a minute....hmmmm “You mean, you had to have surgery because you just couldn't close your mouth and lose weight????” “Why didn't you just eat this way before and save yourself all the trouble of going through a surgery that could have killed you?????” “If people would just get up off their lazy butts and exercise they wouldn't be fat“ ..... Does this sound familiar? Its horrible that people view us this way and people often say these very things to us so we are no different than those that are still struggling, we should be thankful instead and give back by not judging but instead helping others.

You say, "let the time change your decisions" but yet your comments are clear that you don't think these people need time but an immediate change after surgery. The only change after surgery is your body, the rest comes when your mind learns how to adjust to how it should have worked to begin with. The sad thing is when someone who is suppose to be in their "corner" goes public about condemning them you have just knocked them down that much further & you have become exactly the same people who once judged you & called you fat. It is so easy for us to sit here having had the surgery to look at those who are still struggling with food and condemn them because we cannot eat like we once did. I too am guilty of this, I had the surgery but my husband didn't & he can't stick to his diet for nothing but should I be condemning him? No! Just because I had surgery & I can now give up the same foods that he still struggles with doesn't give me the right to judge him just like it doesn't give anyone the right to judge anyone else. In fact do you know that now that I am on the other side of the bench he is self conscious and to him I am no longer like him but every word I say & every look I give him makes him feel as though I am now condemning him. How can I be so judgmental? Because I can't eat like that anymore but yet I have commented on his lack of diet efforts and I really just need to keep my mouth shut and support him...I am guilty of the same thing you are but I have a new mindset that needs some adjustment as well. Of course you are not talking about pre-op people though I am sure you probably are more judgmental towards them now too because it is so easy for us to judge others from our new point of view.

Addiction is addiction, food addicts go to the support meetings seeking support just like drug addicts or alcoholics do and they need to be lifted up, they need to learn to believe in themselves that, "Yes, they can do this" not, "dude your a failure!" The reason those people keep coming to the support group is because they desire change and support, not, "if it were me, I'd be too embarrassed to go" - omg let's just kick them while their down! Maybe you should be saying, "you know, I understand your struggling so what can I do to help? Can we walk together? Or Can I help you by being there for you in whatever way you need me?"

I apologize for this in your face commentary I am not trying to sound mean to you or offensive or anything like that but I am trying to show you why your comments were not only hurtful but were wrong. You have such an advantage here to show your knowledge for what you have learned that I am sure you could really help all us of who are not where you are now but leave the negative at home and you will touch a lot more people. The parts of your video that were helpful were honest and sincere and I see that you just want people to see that this tool won't last forever, you are trying to make a plea on behalf of someone else's health I just feel you went about it wrong. We listen to fat jokes, and see fat videos making fun of us fatty’s all day long, we go to work and don’t get the jobs or raises we are experienced enough for because of our weight, people snicker behind our backs in public, we order our food and are embarrassed when we go to sit in a booth only to find that we no longer fit, we walk down the street to hear some car horn blaring and some idiot yelling, “hey fat a$$‘ or some other cruel name, and we cry at night because some people think we are not even worthy of love is that not enough to deal with already? If those of us who have had weight loss surgery don’t support those who haven’t or who have had it who will? Is it fair to beat them down when you , yourself were more than likely blessed to have the support of your peers and if you weren’t then even more reason to want to support someone who is going through this. Just a final thought and I will shut up….did it ever occur to you that the person or persons who lost all there weight and then gained it back at the support group you attend was there because that group was all they had? Maybe there is no one who cared about them or their life had fallen apart, their relationship had begun to unravel, and their family have become totally unsupportive or always been unsupportive to them but at the SUPPORT group they felt secure and supported and just maybe they would have renewed faith after hearing someone else’s struggle and will start over again. Maybe after listening to your video they will be “too embarrassed to come back” like you suggested you would be…how’s that for support?

Sincerely,

Kellie aka Bakersbazaar

If you would like to comment on this response please do so here so that others can read what you have to say and this goes for anyone reading this. If you would like to post a video response please go to Youtube upload the video and then send me the embedded html and then email that to me and I will gladly post your video response here. My email link is located at the bottom of this post or you can click on the comment link below the post border after the advertisement.

Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond to this message.

THE STORY DEEPENS.........

As I was commenting back to those of you who have so far responded to this on youtube I noticed that AprilDawn77 had made a response to Beautifulcurves so I watch the video. I have to say first that first impressions are everything as they say but first impressions are not always the true nature of the character. AprilDawn77 came across in this video as so caring and loving and I could totally see that she genuinely cared about helping others. So let me clarify that I was not totally knocking her but just defending those people who might not stand up for themselves. And to AprilDawn77 I stand corrected because maybe you are like me and sometimes you open your mouth and the wrong thing just happens to come out and it doesn't sound at all like you meant it too. So in all fairness I am posting this next video here so you all can judge for yourselves and see two of the many sides of one person. Peace out!

In keeping with this whole thing that seems to have turned into a huge rant here is more videos and responses. Because of bandwidth I need to just put the links here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvJbrxqt1mk

BeautifulCurves response to AprilDawn77

DeniseNJ37's response to AprilDawn77

AprilDawn77's response to DeniseNJ37

DeniseNJ37 We all are different and an apology
DeniseNJ37

BeautifulCurves response to AprilDawn77

This girl always has a wonderful spirit and has helped me alot with her wonderful videos.
MassageGoddess response to AprilDawn77

AprilDawn77 - Her heart is in the right place....

AprilDawn77

I did save the last 2 best videos for last which I will show. This one is by iltommyd in response to AprilDawn77 as well as everyone else who commented I believe. In his video he is very insightful and eloquent with his wording, he said all the right things and said it better than I had tried to up above he is someone we all can learn from so here it is:

This final one is by MissKrispy who I found to be a beautiful, sincere person I loved her video and will probably show her videos on here alot because she appears to be a true supporter. This might have to be my very first "Loser's Club inductee" and I'm sure you will agree when you watch her video!

Research, a tool, and addiction.

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 06:47:00 +0000

If you've been on very many websites you already know that weight-loss surgery is a tool and working your tool is totally up to you. After having weight-loss surgery chances are your doctor will tell you that you have a good 12 to 18 months of time in which your tool is working at it's optimal performance. During this time you will spend alot of time learning how to eat properly, you will learn to eat to live instead of living to eat.

If you are still in the throws of researching surgeries you are probably spending alot of time reading about the procedures and which is best for you. Surprisingly, research doesn't end after you hop off the table to a new life after bariatric surgery. The time that I personally spend on the internet since bariatric surgery has doubled as I re-learn to treat my body in the way it was intended to be treated. I find that I will spend time on www.youtube.com or www.obesityhelp.com learning what others are going through or have gone through before me. There is a big support system on the internet for those of us to be involved in as we share with others who can truly relate to what we go through on a day to day basis.

Another good source for research is going to monthly support meetings that are hosted by the bariatric clinic that did your surgery. While I personally, have not been able to attend a meeting yet I am totally pysched about going. Another form of research and support is to make appointments to see the nutritionist and the therapist at your bariatric center. While none of us wants to think we need someone to get in our heads and bodies to tell us what we need to do, the truth is if we knew what to do to begin with we would not have needed this surgery. This life changing experience is by no means easy nor are you taking the easy way out as so many uninformed people like to say. Surgery is the easy part but it is what comes after surgery that is difficult.

Being almost two months post-op this reality has hit home with me as I struggle with the day to day in and outs of life after bariatric surgery. In the last two months I have learned some disturbing things about myself that I am not proud of. For one, I am an addict - I am totally addicted to food. Every morning I still wake up and think about food, I still go to the refrigerator several times aday in search of something to satisfy my addiction. I still want to eat those things that I cannot and if I do the end results are that I spend way too much time with my head hanging over the toilet puking my guts out. When I am bored I want to eat, when I am sitting here in front of the computer I fidget because I want to have food nearby to satisfy my craving. I get angry when my husband eats something that I want but can no longer have. I even lashed out at him recently for overeating in Subway, making a fool of myself all for the sake of my addiction. While I have no defense and feel horrible about this he did tell me to keep him in line since he was on a diet. So you see bariatric surgery isn't the easy way out it takes work and it is a painful journey for one who always could count on food to take away whatever feeling we wanted to forget.

I could go one and tell you more like what life is like when you have a stricture but I guess I need to leave something for the next post. I hope that you have enjoyed your visit and will bookmark me or rss feed me and come back and visit often. Please feel free to comment and share your stories I would love to hear them. In the meantime take care of yourself and love your body. God Bless.

Kellie

P.S. Please be sure to check out the next post about "The Loser's Club," I really am looking forward to your input and getting this club started so email me today!

Monthly Loser's Club

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0000

Hello Beautiful People!

As you know if you've been here before this is a new blog. I'm a blog veteran but I decided to make a blog specifically for my weight loss surgery journey and those who are on a journey from obesity like myself. There are so many untold stories out there that need to be heard and with this blog I am making it a mission to share everyone's story.

So if you notice on the left hand sidebar I have a picture but on the right hand sidebar I do not. While I was searching for an appropriate image to place there I came up with an idea. Twice a month I would like to post an image of a fellow "loser." The reason for a bi-monthly post is one for a new loser and one for a loser who is at least 1 year post op. Along with the image would be a link to their personal blog, website, youtube video, or profile from another website. Should you have none of these please don't let that stop you, I can help you make one. This way not only is your story being heard but people who are just starting their journey have an opportunity to learn from you.

Now all you have to do is to email me telling me you would like to participate. Now also if you would like to suggest someone I would love to know about that too. Please include your link so that I will be able to check you out. Now all I have to do is figure out how to make the decision on who gets posted each month. If you have a suggestion please by all means email me your idea and I will share it here so that everyone can see. Maybe I will need to put a poll up, whatcha think? I would love to hear your input on this so please, please email away.

Peace Out!

Before And After Pics

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 06:54:00 +0000

I had gastric bypass surgery on December 18, 2007 and so far I have lost 54 lbs. So at this time I would like to add some before and after pictures. I've been receiving alot of feedback from people who say they can tell that I've lost but the only place I can truly tell is in my face so lemme start with that.

This one was taken about a year ago:

This one was taken 1 month post-op:

This one is a body shot taken a couple months before surgery.

This one is 1 month post op.

Here's a couple face shots I took over the weekend....Notice the new do?

I think all the pics can be clicked on to see a larger version. Well I have been working on this blog all night and it is very late or pretty early however you look at it so I am off to bed. I need my beauty sleep.

Peace Out!

My first post

noreply@blogger.com (Kellie) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 08:10:00 +0000

Hello and welcome to my blog. This is my first post. The making of this blog has proved trying as I work with html and all that sort of stuff. This is a blog about my journey from a morbidly obese person to being on the loser's bench. If you have had bariatric surgery you already know what the loser's bench is but if you are have not let me explain.

On a wonderful message board that I am on we commonly refer to having already had surgery as being "on the loser's bench". That website which is packed full of great people and lots of helpful information is called. obesityhelp.com This is just one of the many places I hope to share with you as I document my journey through this blog.

As for me, I had a gastric bypass on December 18, 2007. So far I have lost 53 lbs. and feel much better already. Alot of people assume having this kind of surgery is taking the easy way out but it is not it is a life changing experience that will effect us our whole life. Being overweight happens for many reasons, some people have health issues that prevent them from losing weight while others are addicted to food. I fall in both catagories because as my weight increased the more unhealthier I got and the harder it was for me to lose weight. The truth is I am a food addict and surgery did nothing to change that. I still want to have something in my hand to snack on all the time. I still look in the fridge or in the cabinets for food regardless if I am hungry or not. I still want to eat. I still wake up thinking about food and what I am going to eat that day. The only difference now is that if I eat too much I will get sick.

Someone ask recently on Yahoo Answers why couldn't a person who had had bariatric surgery just choose to eat smaller portions like they do after the surgery and save themselves from the agony of going through unnecessary surgery. It really angered me to read this but I didn't respond, I dunno why. The truth is that the reason we cannot choose to eat smaller portions to the extent of what we do after surgery is because our body now has a limit to how much food can go into the system. Nobody chooses to eat 2 ozs. of food at one sitting because 2 ozs. of food will not fill you up. Only after we have had surgery can we eat 2 ozs. of food and get full. People are just niave, they refuse to see food as being an addiction. They would rather make fun of us and call us names then to understand why we are the way we are.

Well, that is about it for tonight or actually I should say morning since it's 3:30am. This is another change since surgery....sometimes I cannot sleep because my pouch hurts or I am dehydrated or tired from not having enough norishment in my body. Even so, at the end of the day it comes down to this...I am one less step closer to the grave because of this surgery, I am healthier and I am making a difference in my children's life now. That's truly what counts isn't it?

On a final note, someone posted a link to an article on OH(Obesityhelp) about a bill going through legislative in Mississippi. Some official wants to pass a bill that would require fast food resturants to turn away obese people in an effort to alliveate the medicare crisis. Check it out here.

Take care and God Bless!