I thought it would be fun to take an updated look at answers to the question, “Why Disney?” 

So tell me – why do you love Disney?

The post Why Disney 2.0 appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

New Prizing

We’ve missed partying with you and chatting about our favorite topic – Disney. To celebrate, we’re going to be awarding all new prizing including Visa gift cards and special, surprise Disney Merch.

A Variety of Times

We know that sometimes busy schedules make it tough to participate in events and that schedules changed for a lot of folks over the past fifteen months. To make it easier for more of you to join in the fun, we’re going to be holding both daytime and evening events. We want you to be able to party with us and learn all about what’s new at Disney Parks!

Exciting Announcements

And speaking of what’s new…nearly every day Disney Parks announces additions and enhancements to what’s new and what’s next in the Happiest Place on Earth. As the parks, resorts, and dining continue the reopening process and we head – quickly! – towards the October 1st kick-off of the 50th Anniversary celebration, there will be more exciting announcements. Join us at our #DisneyKids events to keep up with the latest info and what’s still to come!

Don’t Miss a Party!

Want to make sure that you hear about every upcoming Disney Parks Twitter Party? Sign up for the Resourceful Mommy Twitter Party Newsletter!

Sign Up Here

Mark Your Calendars

The post Disney Parks Twitter Parties Returning! appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

When I began my Celebrate Recovery journey six years ago, I was in crisis. Something very important in my life had gone horribly wrong, and while it probably shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, it did. I felt blindsided and quickly fell into a deep depression. Not knowing where to turn or what to do, I found Celebrate Recovery, and during my very first meeting I learned a phrase that changed my life: “The Next Right Thing.”

I am a problem solver both by nature and by dysfunction. My ability to identify a problem, then design and implement a plan to fix it, made me a grade A codependent. But when I hit my emotional rock bottom, I didn’t know how to fix any of it and I found myself unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was simply too long and too dark. That reality was paralyzing for me.

But at Celebrate Recovery I learned that recovery is not about being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s about being able to see where to place one foot in front of the other, knowing how to simply take the next right step. I didn’t need to fix my entire situation – which was good, because that was impossible. I didn’t need to understand it all or do it all. I just needed to know what the next right thing was and then keep doing that, moment after moment, day after day. And here I am, happier and healthier after six years of next right things.

One year into a global pandemic, why does any of this matter? Because right now I believe many of us feel overwhelmed by unknowns. It’s okay that we don’t know how to do this – for most of us, this is our first global pandemic after all! But the unknowns can be upsetting and steal our peace – what will happen when our kids go back to school, when or if will our work lives get back to normal, when will I see my extended family again, will we have a “normal” summer, will the grocery stores ever have Clorox wipes in stock again, what do I do with this sourdough starter that is literally living in my house?

The stress of the unknowns cannot only upset us but can also derail the work that we’ve been doing in recovery, which is why we need to reach into our recovery toolbox and pull out “The Next Right Thing.”

So what does it mean to do the next right thing? It means only having to know what is right in that moment.

Overwhelmed by a year living in a house that is filled with people 24/7 who used to all leave every day? You can’t kick them out and you can’t snap your fingers and make the dirt and clutter disappear. But perhaps the next right thing is to work on the dish pile in the sink. Just focus on that one area and that one task.

Finding yourself making frequent trips to the kitchen? As much as I wish I could make the pandemic pounds go away all at once, the truth is that it took me a year to gain ten pounds. I know I’m not alone! Perhaps your next right thing in your next moment of decision is to close the refrigerator door and grab a glass of water. Or put down your phone and strap on your sneakers for a quick walk around the block.

Need more Next Right Thing tips for these crazy times we’re still living in? They’re helping me to stay well during this time, and I pray that they help you as well.

Tip One: The Next Right Thing might actually involve “being” rather than “doing.”

As I mentioned earlier, I am a doer, a fixer. Prior to recovery, I struggled to just relax and “be.” A well-known story from the Gospel of Luke involves two sisters, Mary and Martha, who are entertaining a very important houseguest – Jesus.  While Martha runs around the house cleaning and cooking, fixing and doing, Mary rests at Jesus’s feet listening to Him. When Martha complains to Jesus – can you imagine tattling to Jesus?!? – Jesus reminds her that Mary has chosen to do the one and only thing that is really needed. Sometimes the next right thing is to sit at the feet of Jesus and rest, to just be. Need another reminder? How about Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God,” or Exodus 14:14, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still,” or even Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”

Let this be your permission to rest.

Tip Two: The Next Right Thing might be to wait.

Our local Celebrate Recovery leader talks often about The Big Empty. The Big Empty is discomfort personified, and when we find ourselves there, our first instinct is to get out of it as fast as possible. For some of us in recovery, that has meant turning quickly to unhealthy coping mechanisms, to a substance, to an electronic device, to an unhealthy conversation, to comfort food that our bodies don’t really need in that moment. During these strange and difficult times, I think many of us are finding ourselves in The Big Empty more often than usual. When we’re in that tough emotional space, the Next Right Thing isn’t always immediately clear. As difficult as it is, the Next Right Thing might be to wait.

Tip Three: The Next Right Thing might be to stop doing something rather than start doing something.

One of my favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 10:13: “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” I don’t know about you, but I didn’t come equipped with willpower and impulse control straight out of the box. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit in me that I am able to even have a chance at avoiding the wrong thing and instead do the right thing. 1 Corinthians 10:13 is a reminder to me that God is with me, even in the moments when I’m tempted to make the wrong choice, and that He is faithful to show me the way out, to help me know what to stop doing. 

Tip Four: The Next Right Thing might be different now than it used to be (priority shift and reevaluation).

My favorite thing to do in my professional life is write. I’ve written parenting articles and marketing content and even a couple of For Dummies books. But in the past few years I’ve put much of my professional life on the backburner, including writing. In the months prior to the arrival of COVID-19, I had decided to get back into freelance writing and set some professional goals for myself for the first time in a very long time. I created lists of potential clients, developed article content ideas, set deadlines for goals, and even made a fun little vision board, which I put by my newly rejuvenated home office space.

And then my husband’s office and my children’s school moved into my house for an undefined length of time.

I realized early on in the pandemic that my monthly writing goals were not being met. They weren’t even being attempted. My kids use that new home office space every day and my husband has moved into what used to be my old office and favorite place to write.

And all of that is okay.

Those professional goals don’t need to be met to keep food on the table, so it’s okay to put them aside for now. I’ve experienced a massive shift in priorities and reevaluated what is right for me and for my family right now. Again, the Next Right Thing isn’t about the light at the end of the tunnel or figuring out how to get across a finish line. It’s about what is right right now. Right now that might mean watching a movie on the couch with your kids or FaceTiming with a family member you’re missing or writing a letter to a loved one who could use some encouragement. When the situation changes again to whatever the new normal is going to be, I may reevaluate the items on that vision board.

And that is okay.

Tip Five: The Next Right Thing might involve allowing myself to be cared for instead of being the caregiver.

It was the famously wise King Solomon who wrote in Ecclesiastes about everything in life having its season. He says in verse one of chapter three, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” There are so many opportunities right now to help the people around us, to write encouraging messages on our sidewalks with chalk, to make homemade masks for those without the resources, to organize food drives or fundraising or grocery delivery for a neighbor who is high risk.

Those are all good and noble things and may very well be your next right thing.

But it may also be true that you should be the recipient of someone else’s care at this very moment. It may be the Next Right Thing for you to allow someone to bless you. Just like now might be a time to rest or wait or just be, it might also be a time for you to be cared for rather than doing the caring. For many of us, it is difficult to allow ourselves to be in that position. Listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you and be open to receiving the care that you need.

Tip Six: The Next Right Thing might be to move focus from what someone else is doing back to what you are doing. After all, it’s your next right thing not theirs!

The last year has been difficult for all of us in varying ways and to varying degrees likely changing from day to day or even moment to moment. I love being home with my kids in the summer, so while I did stock up on household goods like toiletries and over the counter medicines back in February of 2020 to prepare for what seemed like the inevitable, I also got comfort foods, a couple new board games, and a puzzle or two once it turned out that my kids would be home indefinitely. I was prepared to make the best of it and enjoy the extra time with my family.

That didn’t stop me from having a total meltdown a couple of weeks into our new normal. And what was it that triggered that meltdown? I took my eye off of my side of the street and started looking around at other people’s.

I believe that this is tough for many of us all the time regardless of something as unprecedented as a global pandemic and stay at home order. Another important saying that I’ve learned in Celebrate Recovery is that we’re not supposed to take someone else’s inventory. In other words, let God work with them on their stuff and focus on what He wants you to work on yourself.

Matthew 7, verses 1-5 tell us: ““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Worrying about what everyone around us is doing is crazy-making even in the easiest of times. Focusing on your Next Right Thing is a great way to avoid the “what’s he doing over there!?” trap that only serves to disrupt your peace.

Tip Seven: The Next Right Thing might be to sit down with the Word.

I’m hearing from a lot of people that it’s just so hard to focus on anything after a year of surviving a pandemic: on a book, on a puzzle, on a household project, on work, on your daily devotional. I know that I’ve opened the Bible many times during this time of staying at home and found myself just staring at the page. It’s been easier for me to either work on something physical – like the ever-present weeds in my flower beds – or binge watch television mindlessly.

But even when it’s difficult, making space for the Holy Spirit to meet us as we sit down with His Word is always a good and right Next Right Thing. If you’re finding yourself in an overwhelming moment of choice, consider hitting pause and grabbing your Bible.

Tip Eight: The Next Right Thing might be to give yourself grace.

Like I mentioned back at the beginning of the post, none of us have ever done this before. In spite of past health struggles or times of family separation or even really tough influenza seasons, this is the first time that we’ve lived through a global pandemic with laws about staying home and rules about shopping with masks covering our faces and schools shut down for a year.

There is no expectation that this should be easy for any of us.

When I first began working on my recovery, I struggled to give myself grace. I wanted that next chip at the monthly celebrations and I wanted to only report good things during my sponsor check in’s. Forward progress was very important to me. But during such a stressful and challenging time, treading water may be what success looks like for you. Not slipping back into a bad habit or unhealthy coping mechanism may be the big win.

Be quick to give yourself grace right now.

Tip Nine: The Next Right Thing might be to finish one of the unfinished tasks around you. (But maybe not that 10,000 piece puzzle)

I once spent an entire counseling session discussing things in my house: laundry piles, kitchen appliances that needed to be replaced, in-progress home improvement jobs. I have worked from home since my teenagers were two and four years old, and that has meant having to get my mental and emotional clutter sorted out while still being surrounded by the physical clutter in my home. As much as I have loved working from home, there’s a piece of me that appreciates how nice it must be to compartmentalize – walk away from the physical reminders of at-home to-dos and into an office, then at the end of the day, walk away from that office and focus once again on home.

This compartmentalization and being able to leave work at work has of course become difficult for many people over the years with smart phones and teleworking, but right now the separation is non-existent. For many of us, home has become our vacation spot, our office space, our time with family, and even our school – sometimes multiple schools! And we can’t even escape to the therapist’s office to discuss our dilemma!

There is something wonderfully freeing about tackling just one of the tasks in our physical space that may be impeding our peace in our mental space. We can’t do it all. This is not the time to try to make our homes go from the before shot to the after shot of a hit HGTV show. But we can feel the relief that comes from doing something.

Feeling unsettled and unsure of what to do next? Try spending fifteen minutes taking care of one task that is taking up space on your mental plate. I’ve begun using this time – weeding a flower bed, folding laundry, mowing the grass – as a chance to pray through the needs of a group of friends such as my recovery share group or church small group. I’m finding that the combination of prayer and working through a necessary task is incredibly calming.

Tip Ten: Your Next Right Thing might not be the same as someone else’s.

As a writer, I tend to follow a lot of other writers on social media, and I couldn’t help but notice in the early days of the pandemic lots of calls to finally write that novel that’s been on the backburner or get to work on an inspirational memoir.

There are days when it is all I can do to reply coherently to an email. There’s no chance that I’m going to use this time to dive into my life’s greatest professional achievement!

What is working right now for someone else may not even be close to what is right for you. While it can be helpful to see how folks around you are coping – especially your brothers and sisters in recovery – it may not be helpful to follow friends’ journeys if you find yourself comparing and feeling less-than. At the end of the day, your Next Right Thing is between you and the Holy Spirit. Allow yourself to follow that voice deep inside that is telling you what’s right for you, and if that means muting some other voices for the time being, then do that.

I’d like to close the post by sharing the first six verses of the twenty-third Psalm, which I know are familiar to many of us and provide comfort, especially now:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

The post Doing the Next Right Thing in a Pandemic appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

But my absolute favorite time to visit Walt Disney World by my darned self is during the International Flower & Garden Festival at EPCOT.

Now called Taste of EPCOT International Flower & Garden Festival, this yearly event kicked off yesterday, March 3rd, and runs through July 5th. This season at EPCOT does so much to warm my soul after a long winter that I often let my mind wander to past trips while I’m shoveling snow or chipping ice off of my car’s windshield. When I begin to see the green tips of daffodil leaves poking up through my soil, I know that it’s time for food and flowers at EPCOT.

While the glorious sunshine and incredible abundance of flowers are the main reasons I fell in love with this season at EPCOT, the park-wide event has grown over the years to include fun for the entire family along with the traditional Disney character topiaries. And that key word “taste” in the title? That’s a nod to the fresh flavors from Outdoor Kitchens scattered around the park.

Here’s what you can expect from the Taste of EPCOT International Flower & Garden Festival this year:

Discover Topiaries Full of Disney Character

Nearly 100 individual topiaries bloom across the park, including floral sculptures of Disney characters as well as fanciful gardens. Highlights include:

• Sorcerer Mickey Mouse at the park’s main entrance
• Lady and the Tramp in the Italy pavilion
• Anna and Elsa in the Norway pavilion
• Remy in the France pavilion
• Tinker Bell and the Fairy Houses in the United Kingdom pavilion

Gardens Are Flowering and Ready to Explore

Guests can soak in the sights of spring in 20 different garden areas all across EPCOT, including:

• English Tea Garden Presented by Twinings of London in the United Kingdom pavilion, which also offers a Self-Guided Tea Tour.
• The Goodness Garden Butterfly House Presented by GoGo squeeZ, offering a kaleidoscopic view of butterflies up close, in all their extraordinary color.
• Growing the Future Presented by Murata Electronics, a fun and fascinating experience exploring how cutting-edge technology paired with agricultural science can transform the future (beginning April 3).
• Health Full Trail Presented by AdventHealth, where those looking for inspiration, creativity and some youthful energy learn ways to stay healthy.
• Honey Bee-stro Hosted by National Honey Board, where guests learn about honey bees’ critical role in the environment while enjoying sweet and savory treats made possible by their hard work.
• Outdoor Escapes Presented by OFF! Repellents, a rustic terrace for guests to unwind and find inspiration to create refreshing outdoor spaces for family and friends.

Outdoor Kitchens Feature Fresh Food and Drink

Guests can embark on a mouth-watering journey around the park to experience a smorgasbord of options, with more than 20 delectable stops to choose from. Each Outdoor Kitchen offers a specialty menu of creative cuisine and libations to savor and sip. New options this year include:

• EPCOT Sunshine Griddle, offering Avocado Toast, Shrimp and Grits, Corned Beef Brisket Hash and more
• EPCOT Farmers Feast, featuring Spring Onion Soup, Duck Confit and more
• The Lavender Honey Mustard-marinated Chicken Flatbread at The Honey Bee-stro Hosted by National Honey Board
• Impossible Sausage and Kale Soup at Trowel & Trellis Hosted by Impossible Foods
• Lemon-Orange Smoothie in a new Orange Bird sipper cup at The Citrus Blossom
• Bayou Cocktail at Magnolia Terrace
• Maple Popcorn Shake at Northern Bloom

For the full menu available at this year’s festival, visit FreshEPCOT.com.

Live Music Abounds Throughout the Festival

Fans of live entertainment will have plenty to enjoy this year as music springs to life around World Showcase.

• ­New this year, featured musical groups from the Orlando area perform songs of yesterday and today at America Gardens Theatre every Friday through Monday of the festival.
• Voices of Liberty perform an all-American a cappella showcase at America Gardens Theatre, celebrating the landscape, heart and human spirit of America.
• Mariachi Cobre takes the America Gardens Theatre stage for performances of world-famous Mexican folk music.
• The Jammin’ Gardeners play rhythmic beats with inspired backyard percussion on the Mill Stage at the Canada pavilion.
• In World Showplace, the EPCOT Pianist plays a selection of popular songs ideal for springtime.

Scavenger Hunts Offer Family Fun

Special themed scavenger hunts encourage guests to explore the festival and provide a fun way for families and friends to spend their day at the park.

• Spike’s Pollen-Nation Exploration – Gardeners of all ages follow Spike on his pollination trail, where he will be busy as a bee collecting nectar and pollinating gardens throughout EPCOT. (Map purchase required, available while supplies last at select retail locations.)
• Egg-stravaganza Scavenger Hunt (Beginning March 19) – Guests set out on a delightful hunt across the park for decorative eggs inspired by Disney characters. (Map purchase required, available while supplies last at select retail locations for a limited time.)
• Garden Graze – Guests who purchase five festival menu items from select locations receive a complimentary commemorative keepsake; guests can pick up a Festival Passport to get started.

Festival Merchandise Showcases Favorite Characters

Guests can commemorate their visit with official event merchandise, including apparel, headwear, drinkware and more.

• Orange Bird welcomes the sunshine with all things yellow, orange and white in a bright collection of apparel, drinkware and a headband.
• Spike the Bee offers sweet reminders of festival fun, featured on apparel, drinkware and an adorable garden stake.
• Minnie Mouse lives life in full bloom with a collection of apparel, headwear, garden accessories and MagicBand.
• Figment brings sustainable materials such as organic cotton, bamboo and repurposed paper to a collection featuring apparel, accessories and more.

The Taste of EPCOT International Flower & Garden Festival is included with park admission (Disney Park Pass reservation required for entry). For more information visit DisneyParksBlog.com or follow #FreshEPCOT on social media platforms. To learn more about what Disney Parks are doing to keep guests safe, visit Disney Parks’ Know Before You Go.

The post Taste of EPCOT International Flower & Garden Festival appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

Disclosure: This event is officially sponsored by Disney Parks and RM Media has received compensation for services provided.

Spring is just around the corner and while it means the end of the winter months that many of us love, it is the beginning of so many wonderful and beautiful things. This is just as true at the Walt Disney World Resorts as it is in nature. Ending on 2/26, there are only a few more days to book the Kids Dine Free offer with your Walt Disney World Resort vacation package and there are so many wonderful things on the way this spring and summer! This spring is an amazing time to visit with the NEW! Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway at Disney’s Hollywood Studios this March, which is perfect for the whole family, including little ones!

Join us as we talk about the amazing things you can enjoy with your little ones this spring at Walt Disney World, plus learn how to enjoy a free Disney Dining Plan for the kids before this great offer is gone!  We hope to see you at the…

Walt Disney World #DisneyKids February Twitter Party

When: Wednesday, February 12^th from 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. ET

Where:  #DisneyKids on Twitter

How: Tweet with the tag and follow @ResourcefulMom.

Prizes

Four (4) winners will each receive a $25 Disney Gift Card.

One (1) Grand Prize winner will receive a $50 Disney Gift Card.

 All prizes provided courtesy of RM Media.

This event is officially sponsored by Disney Parks and RM Media has received compensation for services provided.

RSVP

Planning on joining us?  Let us know here by adding your Twitter username (@username) and Twitter URL (http://twitter.com/username) through the link below or leaving a comment on this post. An RSVP is not required to participate or to be entered to win.

Twitter Party Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY

HOW TO ENTER: Beginning 2/12/20 at 8:00 PM ET and ending 2/12/20 at 9:00 PM ET participants
must use the @ symbol and the hashtag #DisneyKids to respond directly to @ResourcefulMom in
order to qualify to win prizes in response to questions during the event. @ResourcefulMom will
choose a winner at random using Twitter search by refreshing the search page. The most recent
tweet using the hashtag #DisneyKids and tweeting to @ResourcefulMom will be the winner. All
decisions are final. Neither the party sponsor nor the hostess @ResourcefulMom is responsible
for misdirected or undeliverable Twitter updates, including those from private Twitter accounts.

RESPONSIBILITY: By entering and participating, entrant agrees to defend, indemnify and hold
harmless Sponsor, Resourceful Mommy Media, and all participating entities from and against
any and all claims, demands, liability, damages or causes of action, losses, costs or expenses.

The post DisneyKids February Twitter Party appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

(originally published 12/8/11 – don’t miss reading comments 46 and 54)

Some bloggers check their “stats” weekly daily hourly to see how many visitors have come to their sites, how long they stayed there, what posts they’ve read, how they got there, etc.  For many bloggers, these stats are a constant source of anxiety.  I am very grateful that for whatever reason, most days they aren’t anywhere on my radar.  I do, however, occasionally log in to my statistics tracking tool to find out fun things like if anyone in Abu Dhabi is reading my blog (Shout out to Abu Dhabi!) or if my ex-boyfriend is using the computer at the prison where he works to check on his ex-girlfriend (Yeah, I totally see you, buddy).

Another fun fact my stats show me is what search engine terms people are using that result in a visit to Resourceful Mommy.  This fall tons of readers found me while trying to find out how to make Jake and the Neverland Pirates costumes, and I’m fairly sure that everyone who has ever compared the MobiGo to the Leapster has stopped by here at least once.  Anyone who Googles hey look I’m naked will find me at the top of the recommended sites thanks to my idiotic post title after an even more idiotic technical error.  My apologies to all of the thirteen year old boys googling that phrase and finding me. Major bummer.

Most of the time the search terms that bring people to my site either make complete sense like the Jake costumes or are laughable like the naked reference, but this week I saw that someone came to Resourceful Mommy after googling “Why am I invisible to my husband.” When I saw that search term it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, my first thought – why would Google send her to me!? Turns out that Google suggested that she read my post about the shirt with invisible sleeves, which she apparently did.  But my very next thought was even more upsetting – I pictured a woman sitting at her computer, tears streaming down her face, desperately turning to Dr. Google to find out what was going wrong in her marriage. I wanted to pick up the digital thread leading back to her and tug on it until I found something connecting me to her.  Did she get anything out of my post? Did she at least laugh? Did she curse Google for confusing invisible sleeves with invisible wives?

I don’t know if she’ll ever come back here – maybe if she wants to know why kids need vegetables! – but if she does, I want her to find this response to her question.

1. You are not invisible. I see you. I tried to see you more clearly, but the internet is weird like that so I couldn’t really see you, but I’ve certainly been thinking about you.

2. Your husband sees you, too.  I have no idea what’s going on in your marriage – it may really really suck – so I’m not going to take away from that.  But he sees you.  You know what else?  Like all of us, he’s got a lot on his mind.  My husband once walked right past me while I was lying naked on the bed, and while you can see from my “hey look I’m naked” post that that’s not necessarily a terribly exciting thing, he is a smart enough man to know it was going to get him something fun. And yet he walked right by me.  What would cause a man to walk right past his naked wife? I’ll tell you what it wasn’t – It wasn’t that he doesn’t love me, doesn’t desire me, doesn’t enjoy being with me.  It wasn’t even that he didn’t see me.  It turns out that he was thinking about putting sodas in the fridge so that I’d have cold caffeine waiting for me in the morning. So let’s change you being invisible to him being distracted.

3. While I’m happy that Google sent you to me, I want to change your search term from “Why am I invisible to my husband” to “How can I help my husband see me?”  We probably aren’t going to really answer the “why” although I’m putting most of my money on distracted/stressed/busy/hurt/dealing with stuff inside his own head/tired/overwhelmed/hungry.  What we can answer is a question my best friend asks me all the time – Now what? Earlier this week your answer to “now what?” was to turn to Google.  When I’m feeling ignored by my husband, my “now what” is often to shut down, get quiet, hurt myself with my thoughts about his motives, get angry.  None of those things are productive.  However, when I instead use that feeling to motivate me to try to reconnect with him – and yes, it apparently takes more than throwing my naked self on my bed at night as he walks by – it tends to result in great conversations, time spent enjoying each other again, and relief.  Deciding to put it on yourself to help alleviate the problem when it feels like the problem is his or at least his fault is so frustrating.  I am the queen of “but I’m RIGHT,” so I get that. Right there with you.  But trust me that feeling better feels better no matter how you get there.

Maybe today you’re Googling “sexy lingerie” or “top Christmas presents for men” or even “divorce for Dummies.”  I’ll probably never know.  But I hope that whatever it is, you’re in a better place than you were in when you found me. And I hope that if you find me again, this helps.

The post Why Am I Invisible – A Response appeared first on Resourceful Mommy.

And I love the quotable writing.

There’s a scene where Greg Kinnear’s character begins to open up to Helen Hunt as she and Jack Nicholson are driving the trio from New York to Baltimore. Hunt’s character pulls the car over to give Kinnear’s character her full, undivided attention.

She wants to honor his story.

Hunt tells Nicholson, “We all have these terrible stories to get over,” but Nicholson interrupts her.

“Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes, with boats, and friends, and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that’s their story; good times, noodle salad.” 

I love listening to people’s stories. I always have.

The highlights of my childhood are woven together by the many threads of the stories of my relatives, told to me across a Parcheesi board, overhead during a card game, stories that took place during a time when men would walk miles every morning in the darkness to descend further into the darkness of coal mines, when girls would return home from school one day to find that they’d never go to school again but would instead begin work on a factory floor the next day.

Our lives are made up of these stories.

There are the stories that flow easily, that work their way into our conversations appropriately, casually. Our first date. How we selected the college we attended. The night we proposed. The moment we discovered we were expecting.

Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes, with boats, and friends, and noodle salad. Just no one in this car.

But there are also the stories that are murky at best, told only many years later as we try to piece together truths that have long been unspoken.

In the recovery process, I learned to listen to my own story, all of it, the complete balance of what I have experienced. And I have listened to countless stories of others, stories that gutted me, that kept me up at night, that made something deep down in my being ache over the pain people inflict on one another.

There have been days when my life has felt like nothing but good times and noodle salad.

And there have been moments when my journey required all that I could muster just to take the next step forward.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how we come to be who we are. I believe with everything inside of me that the way we respond to the situations we’ve experienced only partly depends on the details of those situations. I know that I’ve been shaped by my brain chemistry, for example, by my natural inclination toward big emotion, anxiety, joy, depression, excitability, and deep, deep love. I know also that I’ve been shaped by trauma, by death, by grief, by chronic illness and pain. And I know that I’ve been shaped by the constant presence of family who loves me and the assurance of a God who stands by me and with me.

My brother and I have discussed our childhood and while he doesn’t always remember the details in the same way, he has given me the gift of saying he understands my perspective and what shaped it. I have also listened repeatedly to my father share a story from his childhood followed immediately by my aunt saying she can’t recall or relate in any way to what he’s just shared. My husband and his sister? Apart from their red hair, opposites in every way.

Surely there is more than just birth order or sibling gender at play in these differing recollections.

I have shared my stories and received in response the assurance that this is all normal, standard fare, life being life. And I have shared those same stories to others who have cried with me and assured me instead that these things were far from normal, not okay, not acceptable nor commonplace.

At the end of the day, I believe we’ve all got to honor our own stories and how they’ve shaped us. We’ve all got the kind of story that requires us to pull the car over to the side of the road and acknowledge the gravity of the pain and the suffering and the courage inside of us. And we’ve all got stories of good times and noodle salad.

But after honoring and processing our stories, we all need to answer this question for ourselves: And then what?

It is up to us to decide who we want to be on the other side of it all and what we want to do with those stories. For me, everything changed when I added recovery to my story. I learned that…

We have the opportunity every day to create a new past. When you wake up tomorrow, today will have become part of your past, another page in your story. Each day is a chance to try again, and as trite as that sounds, it is still the truth. When I began attending recovery meetings, I was overwhelmed. I cried a lot in those meetings. A LOT. My most recent past at that time was defined by grief and loss, regret, shame and embarrassment. But somehow, one day at a time, I have reached five years of recovery. Instead of being defined by my hurts and hang-ups, my story is now one of transformation, redemption, and hope.

We get to choose how we respond to what has happened to us. This truth has been a difficult one for me to process, accept, and eventually embrace. I don’t believe that we have control over how we feel, and I don’t believe that it’s healthy to repress our feelings. Repressing feelings rather than processing them is how many of us end up sitting in recovery meetings with tears running down our faces. If you punch me in the face, I am going to cry and feel anger and pain. That just is what it is. But my “and then what” is whether or not I punch you back. It is whether or not I worry that every person I meet will someday punch me in the face, too. It is whether not I decide to no longer leave the house in case someone decides to punch me in the face again. My story changed dramatically when I began to trust that I could respond differently now than how I responded in the past, both to the pain of my past as well as the challenges I face day to day.

We can decide which stories to continue and which stories to end. I am a person who struggles with change and with endings. I do not do well with giving up, and changing boundaries in my life often feels like giving up. Early in my recovery I had to make the decision to end something very important to me. To be boldly honest, I had to walk away from what I believed at the time was God’s calling for my life. It was a stunningly difficult decision that I made in prayer with a couple people close to me. And something remarkable happened the moment the decision was made. I felt free. That story was not a safe or a healthy story for me to continue in, and once I knew that, my “and then what” was to walk away from it. That is our choice and a source of our power.

It is our choice what we do with our pain. Before recovery, I buried my pain in anger, I hid it in unhealthy coping strategies, I denied it with humor, I overpowered it with achievement. Now I work through it with honesty, giving it the time and space it requires.

We all have stories of good times and noodle salad. And we all have stories that make us cry. I am grateful for the “and then what” that comes next.

Thank you for letting me share.

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I deleted my other blog where I haven’t written since 2016.

I have been so absolutely paralyzed by fear of failure for the last couple of years that at times it has made it impossible to write. Every time I logged in to my other site, Reasonably Happy Life, the massive time gap between posts stared back at me. I’d open the blog’s dashboard and begin to write a new post, only to be faced with several other posts, unfinished, sitting in drafts.

There is nothing quite like staring straight at failure to remind you how much you fear failure. And those posts stuck in the drafts folder? That space between previously published post? That, to me, screamed failure.

So I burned it to the ground. The media files, the blog posts I’d never written, the cute theme with happy colors and the book recommendation widget in the sidebar. Erased. It had all become a stumbling block, an excuse, and it was time to move on.

I am apparently I-don’t-have-time-for-this years old. I think I like it.

Why now? Because I desperately want to write about my recovery story.

I first joined a Celebrate Recovery Step Study in the summer of 2015. I had been attending Friday night recovery meetings for about six months, and I felt like I had a pretty good idea of the list of issues I needed to tackle.

For those of you not familiar with a CR Step Study, they are weekly meetings in addition to a regular meeting where attendees, led by two leaders with recovery experience and training, walk through four books full of searching questions. The year long process includes the creation of a personal inventory, the selection of a sponsor, and the making of amends. It is life-changing and at times brutally overwhelming work, but I entered into the process ready, excited, and hungry for change.

My recovery work at the time focused on breaking patterns of codependency and learning to trust in my intrinsic worth outside of accomplishments and relationships. Put simply – I was an overachieving people pleaser, a tool I used in order to mask pain in my life and from my past.

What I came to learn over my time in Step Study, however, was that fear of failure and pride played a huge role in my unhealthy coping. A focus on the way others perceived me was the source of anxiety and fear and informed what I believed about my self-worth.

This was a huge breakthrough for me. I had always viewed myself as a “screw this” kind of person, always feeling free to march to the beat of her own drummer. I was even voted Most Unique in my senior class in high school.

But I was also voted Most Likely to Succeed and had I not been, I would have been devastated.

Breakthrough.

It is this fear of failure that has been holding me back from writing more often, from sharing more freely.

The fear often sounds like this:

• No one is going to actually read any of this, so why waste your time writing it?
• Who do you think you are to believe that your story is worth sharing?
• You walked away from life as a marketing influencer. You think you can just write and not market? Don’t bother.
• Your story is silly and people will laugh at your ridiculous focus on self.

I’ve written about this before and I’ll write about it again. And if you ever have a conversation with me in person, fair warning – this may come up. (It most likely will.)

At every point of choice – which happens over and over again, all day long – we move forward from either a place of fear or a place of love.

Every action we take or word we say comes from either fear or love.

Fear or love. 

A friend told me this several years ago, and while at the time I likely dismissed it as one more trite adage, I have found it to be both true and a powerful way to take quick stock of my actions.

I have always wanted to write and share my story, a desire that led me to create this site twelve years ago. And those Step Study book questions? At the end of book four there is this question: “If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you like to do most for God in helping others?”

My immediate was response was, “I would write.” 

Creating a separate blog and hiding my story there wasn’t love. It was fear.

Tossing post after post into the drafts folder wasn’t love. It was fear.

The truth is this:

• I love myself enough to honor who I am, and I am a writer.
• I love God enough to share the story of how He has changed my life through recovery and continues to shape and refine me.
• I love others enough to share my story of hope and healing.

February 20th is the five year anniversary of the first time I walked into a recovery meeting. It is also a Thursday this year, which means I will be leading worship at my church’s Celebrate Recovery meeting.

I will also be giving my testimony that night, as I did for the first time two years ago next month.

I’m ready to tackle fear and to lean into love, and I believe that committing to revise and share my testimony for my fifth anniversary is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

It’s time. Nothing but love.

Thanks for letting me share.

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Baby Yoda and Classic Yoda are headed your way, Tiffany. Enjoy!

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It’s time to bring it back. Get ready for Star Wars: Galactic Cruiser!

Friends, we were too small in our thinking! A “themed hotel” this is not.

Coming to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida in 2012, the Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser will offer a two-night itinerary where all guests arrive and depart at the same time, similar to Disney Cruise Line. Unlike any typical cruise, though, guests can become the heroes of their own Star Wars stories in a new type of immersive experience that only Disney could create.

This is not a hotel. This is a fully immersive experience!

Guests will cruise the galaxy in style aboard the Halcyon, a starcruiser known throughout the galaxy for its impeccable service and exotic destinations. Onboard, they will stay in well-appointed cabins, experience onboard dining, make a planet-side excursion to Black Spire Outpost on Batuu – a visit to Disney’s Hollywood Studios! – and much more. Throughout the journey, guests will be invited to delve deeper into their personal adventures by participating in onboard activities, interacting with characters, crew, other passengers they meet, and becoming part of the action and the broader Star Wars saga:

• The adventure begins when guests arrive at the Galactic Starcruiser Terminal at Walt Disney World and check in for their two-night experience.
• Guests will be invited to enter a Launch Pod for transport into space. Through windows above, they’ll see themselves leave the real world behind as they jump to hyperspace and draw closer and closer to the Halcyon.
• When the Launch Pod docks with the Halcyon and the airlock opens, guests will step into the ship’s main deck Atrium to begin their journey through a galaxy far, far away.
• A visit aboard the Halcyon becomes a multi-day story that interweaves with members of the crew, other passengers, familiar Star Wars characters, and an excursion to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
• The all-immersive experience also features entertaining activities, such as:
  • Wielding a lightsaber while facing off against a training remote, where guests just may discover their own connection with the Force.
  • Visiting the starcruiser’s Bridge to learn about ship systems and how to operate them, including navigation and defense – skills that may just come in handy during a journey through this adventure-filled galaxy.

Fun Facts – Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser

• Every window in the Halcyon – including those in each cabin – has a view of the galaxy beyond, with ever-changing vistas as the ship progresses from place to place.
• Guests will be able to explore the Halcyon and perhaps discover hidden spaces deep in the mechanics of the ship – perfect for uncovering secrets … or holding secret meetings.
• Choices guests make during their adventure will help determine how their Star Wars stories progress.

For more information, visit www.starwarsgalacticstarcruiser.com.

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