Ador(k)able

Book Project: Dead in the Water????

2012-03-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

Roughly one year ago, I successfully finished my graduate comprehensive exam, and the whole world cheered.

Or just myself, Matt, and a few other close friends and family. (And all of Facebook. Duh.)

Anyways, a few days later I got an email from a professor I had done a special research topic for, asking me if I'd like to continue the research project into a possible book deal.

I was pretty much sold at the words "publish" and "book", without really thinking of all the "work" and "time" it would take to get there. That quickly came in to play but I decided it was okay, because I can do ANYTHING!!!! (And really, because I'm a secret Cullen-type vampire who doesn't need any sleep. Which is incredibly false. Sorry I lied to you just there.) Really, I was excited about the opportunity for a while. It made me feel smart, and I was eager to read all these ~~incredibly boring~~ articles on the topic and then merge all my new-found knowledge into one giant compilation of smart-ness which we would call a book I "wrote" myself. I was to have a mentor who was faculty at the university so I could access the database for articles and not have to pay the $8754 dollars that you usually would have to per article. (Who knew intelligence was so expensive? That's right. Everyone. Especially the government. Wrong topic? Sure.) Theoretically, this mentor was supposed to be able to help me understand the super-science-y parts of the project that I didn't understand. He was supposed to read these articles as I read them, then we would meet and discuss the findings and put them into a coherent format that would eventually become a chapter, then a portion, and then a whole book.

Here's what really happened:

I read a whole bunch of research articles in my free time as a part of a "job" I agreed to do which I was not getting paid for. (I mean, I was getting paid in knowledge, right? But I like money a whole bunch.)

I met with and discussed these articles on several occasions with the mentor, who hadn't read any of the articles, but instead asked me what I had read and then asked more questions about stuff I didn't know (because I admittedly didn't understand some of what I had read. Which was why I was at this meeting.). I'm pretty sure he asked the questions because he felt guilty he hadn't read the articles, but didn't want to waste my time being there. Which, was exactly what he was doing. But I digress.

I stopped reading these articles in such detail. I got in the habit of scanning the important sections for facts (the day of), noting them, and bringing these notes to the meetings hoping that the other member of this party would have read them.

Eventually, near the end of 2011, my mentor became impossible to get a hold of. I couldn't get responses to emails, at some point couldn't get responses to text messages.... all of which simply stated "Have you managed to read those articles? If so, will we require a meeting on _____ day?"

A few weeks ago we met again for the first time since November. That's 5 months. I haven't done anything on this project because not only was I not getting a response, but I found out that he had lost his job with the university, and I assumed that meant everything was dead in the water. Which was fine with me. Really.

Turns out that the mentor wants to continue this project, and assured me that he would be much more accessible and involved from here on out. I placed roughly zero faith in this comment (since I've heard it before), but agreed to meet him on 3/25. The reading assignment agreed upon? Re-read the articles I read a year ago for my comp exams. I didn't read them. I have notes on them and a busy social schedule.

Which brings me to today. And my current conundrum.

I don't have the passion for this project that I initially did. I'm frustrated that I've done all this work with repeated excuses, some of which may have well been boldfaced lies. I've had my time wasted, which I wasn't being compensated for, and I've skipped workout sessions (which are important to me) and time with Matt and my family (also, super important) in order to make these meetings. When I sent an email this morning to confirm that he had read the articles, and to confirm if today's meeting would happen, I've still not received a response.

I want to quit this project. I don't see it going anywhere. I don't do any work on it. My mentor doesn't do any work on it. And it's a complete uncertainty at this point that it would even continue past his current employment situation. I'm not getting paid for this project, and I feel that my time is worth so much more. It's nothing personal, but I'm simply too busy for this kind of time-suckery.

But I committed to it, knowing that it would be a long, tough process. I just envisioned that I would have more support as a part of it.

So my question to you, my dear readers, would you continue the project and honor the commitment you made or would you jump ship and use that extra time for something more substantial? (I realize I've basically answered this question on my own, but I'm seeking some kind of camaraderie here. Tell me I'm making the right decision if I quit, ok?)

Leave comments!!!

Update on the mundane and general

2012-02-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

It's been about 2 months since the last update, where I blatantly told you I'd upload all these pictures to the blog, and then I didn't.

It's not that I forgot you (all the time). It's that once I got in there to upload and edit all those damn pictures, it took AGES. I'm completely unfamiliar to photo editing, JPEG isn't easy to work with unless you're saving a copied image, and blogger takes actual years to upload that many photos. Plus, I used to be able to upload as many as I wanted, and then write and insert as I pleased. This streamlined the process and made it simpler. Then blogger went and ~~ruined everything~~ updated their system, and I'm basically lost.

And I~~'m too busy~~ don't care enough to learn about new blogger. Old blogger was fine.

I'd like to get on here and write about something intellectual that I've been doing or learning or even planning lately, but it seems that my life has become rather consumed with all things wedding planning (okay, that's mostly done), workouts, diets, and general daily ~~mayhem~~ life. Lately I feel like I'm so busy I can barely breathe and that every time I turn around there's something else to do. I realized this past weekend, that never, in my entire life, will I ever truly have a lazy day or weekend where I do nothing. Because that is reserved for people under the age of "adult". And I have apparently reached "adulthood". I'm trying to come to terms with it. It's a combination of understanding that adulthood has many mundane responsibilities, and that weekends aren't actually for relaxing.... they're for catching up on all the shit you can't get done during the workweek. Plus, whenever I sit down to do nothing, I think of something else that has to be done. It generally can wait, but once it's all up in my brain taking residence, I must complete the task.

Who's idea was it to not have any serious holidays between New Years and Easter? (as in, not only teachers and government employees- do you guys ever work?!- Also, ~~totally~~ ~~mostly~~ kidding on that. Don't vilify me. Sarcasm appears to be the internet's final frontier.) I'm dying here.

We get married in less than 6 months! I'm so excited! My dress should be here in mid-March, so I'm hoping I'll be crazy skinny by then. So you know, I look awesome-er. We have a venue, a caterer, an awesome photographer, a DJ, a wedding planner (who came with the venue), cakes, linens, a booked honeymoon, and half of my bridesmaids have dresses. Save the dates have been sent out (and hopefully received), and we've even gotten presents so far! For which we have personalized thank you cards! Which I always send out the day after I receive a present! I've even started my bridesmaid gifts! Exclamation points! !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

I include all this to let you know that even though it might seem like I'm not really on top of anything organizationally, I really am. You just can't see it from blog-land. I've even reread The Hunger Games series, and am halfway through The Help because of audiobooks. Plus I'm actually reading (and am almost done with) A Clash of Kings (the second Game of Thrones book), which I've been reading since ~~1999~~ December. I'm making it to the gym 4-6 days a week depending on the week, and I'm even running small distances again. Plus, I ate like, a ton of new foods last week, all healthy, supposedly as a part of "adulthood". It was weird, and I miss chicken strips or plain baked chicken, but I suppose we all have to make sacrifices. I also quit drinking diet soda (and thus, all soda). If any one can help me actually stop eating sugar instead of just talking about it, that'd be great too.

Look! A blog post! Just for you! Chock full of mundane boring-ness, and exclamation points!

The greatest trip ever

2011-12-22T07:59:00.001-08:00

Wow, I need to update. It's been a crazy busy month or so, and I have a much more elaborate post in the works, as soon as I decide to sit and go through the 450 photos I took as an amateur photographer in Las Vegas. (Note: Cool angles only work when you have the proper experience. Otherwise they just look like you're drunk.)

So, we went to Vegas. And it was awesome. So I'll write the full post, and then I'll edit it and enter the photos (which, admittedly are of an awesome quality when I get them all straightened, fill-light-ed, and enhanced. Many don't need this treatment, and that's good, because I took them in JPEG setting instead of RAW. Photo tip #1: Good editing software doesn't work on jpeg images. Photo tip #2: Manuals aren't bad things. Read them.)

I made Matt walk around the strip with me for a little bit after we checked in to the hotel. I didn't want to go straight to bed once we got the Vegas, even though it was like being awake until 2am our time. I'm always fascinated by Vegas, even the airport. So we walked across the street from our hotel and played with the camera.

I took Matt through the Venetian, which woke him up a little bit since it's ALWAYS DAYTIME in there.

Then we found a fancy-pants Walgreens and bought some booze and soda for our next day's events.

Saturday:

I guess it was around 9am Vegas time when I woke up, decided to get ready, and take on Vegas.

We filled our soda bottles with our booze of choice, I put them in my purse, and we hit the strip. We met Matt's cousin, Chris, and he showed us around some of his favorite places there too.

We spent most of Saturday drinking. It was awesome. We stopped in the Luxor for some more beverages, and I discovered that whipped cream vodka+OJ+Sprite = liquid dreamsicle. I chose to ignore the amount of sugar and calories in this beverage and focused instead on the fact that I hadn't eaten so it was basically the same.

We strolled through NYNY briefly, where I got another sugar-infused-calorie-laden beverage and made it across the bridge to the other side of the street.

I'm terrified of escalators, and so Chris stopped on ours, which freaked me out more because I was drinking. But then we saw this guy:

And I soon forgot what I was previously afraid of.

We stopped at the Coca Cola Store for some good natured tourism, and I unashamedly flirted with a giant polar bear.

If you've been to Vegas, ever, you know that the people there do one of three things:

1. Avoid the strip completely unless they have friends in town.

2. Are homeless and sit on the strip, smelling like urine, and begging for food and money. Sometimes they have witty signs.

[Picture- divorce]

3. Dress up in what would be an unusual social behavior, which is rewarded with photo opportunities and tips in LV.

I decided to use my awesome new toy to document, secretly without the need of tipping, these people.

[Picture-Batman and spiderman]

[Picture- Homer]

[Picture-Mario]

[Picture-Barney]

And then I found THIS GUY:

[Picture-Birdman]

Who was just walking down the strip like he was the man, completely unaware that I was behind him snapping a million photos simply because there was a red macaw and a blue macaw on his shoulders. Then he stopped, and saw me, and I was embarrassed by my unabashed love of his birds and told him he was awesome.

To which he responded: "Thanks, for $5 I'll let you take some pictures with them."

SOLD.

So we gave him our camera and he gave us his birds and we took these pictures right there in the middle of the strip.

[Pictures-Birds]

And that made it the greatest day ever.

We went back to the hotel, I changed, drank a little more, and then we were off to catch a bus to Fremont Street. We get to the street and while walking around in the dark, Chris points above our heads and goes "There's the zip line."

Matt: "Cool. I wanna do it."

Me: "I'll go with you!"

So we get weighed (grumble), sign our releases, and get in line. I gave Chris my purse since I didn't think I could zip line with it, and his buddy who had been with us all day took the camera, stating, "If it has video (which it does), I'll record it for you."

I think nothing of this. I think it'd be cool to see ourselves zip line. And obviously, my tiffany-blue purse looks awesome on Chris's shoulder.

So we stand in line for almost an hour on the roof of some random building. I'm wearing my owl hat (one of three), and we are chatting with the people around us. When it's finally our turn, I don't get nervous until I'm strapped in, sitting on the launch box. I look to the guy in charge and say "Am I gonna die on this?"

To which he replies: "Not today."

And we are off. I had been given all these rules before we left; don't leave your feet out, pay attention at the end, don't kick the guys at the end, etc. And I was very focused on this. Plus, my thing got all twisted and I was trying to make sure I didn't kick anyone while Matt is a few seconds behind me screaming my name.

I get my head turned around enough to look at him, all smiles, and hear him yell "Will you marry me?"

My initial thought, was that he was joking. That he heard me ask if I was going to die, and was playing some 'OMG we're gonna die" joke on me. But I screamed "Yeah!!" back at him. (I mean, I would marry him.)

So we get to the end of the rope a few seconds later (my timing may be way off on this, it was a lot of happenings), and I'm sort of piecing this all together. That he really did ask me that, and I really did say yes, and dude, I hope that wasn't a joke.... and then I get my harness of the line and turn around to get down when I see Chris.

On the platform.

On a knee, holding a box out in both hands in a presentation manner.

And I believe the words that came out of my mouth were "Are you f***ing kidding me?!"

(Sorry, I swear. I know. I KNOW.)

I look over at Matt, who is on the platform too (I repeat my profane question. Mostly out of shock.), and I recall hearing him ask the attendants "Can you get me out of this thing?" and he gets off his box, grabs the ring from Chris, gets on one knee, and asks me again formally. To which I respond with zero profanity, but in the affirmative, and it's all happy ever after. We even have a video of it.

[Video]

And professional photos

[Pictures-zipline]

Which then was the greatest day ever.

We spent two and a half more days in Vegas. We saw Mystere, we were hungover on Sunday, we saw Chris one more time, we lost (expensive) things and found them, we won money, and we had an amazing time together. I took a ton of more pictures, which I'll post some of on here and my facebook. As soon as I sit down to finish reviewing them.

Now we're planning a wedding. It's stressful (which I expected), and it's fun (which I hoped for), and it's exciting (which I knew it would be). I've cried, I've lost sleep, I've picked a dress completely different than what I wanted. I'm so incredibly lucky to have a family who will bend over backwards to ensure that Matt and I have the day of our dreams with as little stress as possible. It means the world to me.

Shoooooopping

2011-11-28T10:41:00.000-08:00

There is a difference between shoooopping and shopping. The former activity is the kind that takes hours per store. The kind where you just walk in not knowing what you want, taking all the time in the world to find that one thing you think you are looking for. The latter is the kind where you know what you're getting, you go in, grab it, and get out.

I much prefer the latter. If I want to shooooop then I prefer to do it online. Which is why I usually spend my lunch breaks shopping for cute dresses online from ModCloth. I don't buy these dresses, I just add them to my Amazon wish list and carry on. I usually forget about them a little bit later while I keep finding more cute stuff I ~~sort of~~ just have to have. Plus, I loathe shopping for jeans (thus explaining why I have like, none), so shopping for dresses makes me happy.

I used to have this thing on the side of my blog entry layout where I could just type in the item I wanted on amazon, and then the blog would add a picture of it to the blog with a link to the product. It was great! And then blogger ~~fucked up~~ updated their layout, and even if I use the old interface I still can't use the damn Amazon thing. And I don't know how to get it back because blogger isn't exactly the most user-friendly interface to begin with. So..... I'm gonna have to do this all manually, which is gonna piss me off since I'm not the one who messed it up.

Anyways, so onto the dresses.

Number 1: Tea Leaves Dress

I find that bubble skirts like this make my ~~giant~~ legs look a little slimmer. Plus, it has an A-line shape, which is always good. Since it's a part of the current 25% off Cyber Monday (always sounds dirty to me) sale, it can be ~~mine~~ yours for only $48.99! You bought me a dress! You should~~n't~~ have!

Number Dos: Thanks a Dot Dress

The website won't let me keep a picture of the dress, so lemme 'splain it to you. It's got cap sleeves, it's navy blue, and has light blue tiny polka dot accents on it. It's 100% cotton and buttons up the front (with cute polka dot ribbon embellishment) and has little polka dotted bows on it at the sleeves. Basically, it's a glorified shirt dress, but it doesn't look like you're going on a safari. It looks like you're going to be a flight attendant circa 1965. Or you could follow the link and see it for yourself, just in order to test my descriptive abilities. It's out of stock right now, so you can just purchase it for me at a later date. It's cool, I accept presents all year round.

Dress Number THREE!!!!! SoCal Bungalow Dress

Purple is one of my favorite colors. And I think you can never go wrong wearing a dark purple dress, because it has the slimming effects of black, but is way more fun than black. Plus, it can keep people guessing from far away... "Is it purple? Is it black?" This dress sort of works great for anything. Pair it with a cardigan and wear it to work, or wear it as is on date night. Or you could wear it to a wedding. Maybe a funeral? Probably not a job interview, though. Just saying. I'll make this promise now, that when I receive it at my apartment (shipped from you, of course) that I will wear it at work, on date night, and maybe to a wedding (assuming I go to another one after this year is over, that is). For $50, it basically pays for itself.

Lucky Number Four: Midnight Bird Song Dress

This one is my FAVORITE. Let me repeat that. My favorite dress on this list. It might be because of my affinity for those of Class Aves. It might be because it's simply just so friggin' cute. I'm not totally sure, so I'll say it's a not-that-creepy combination of both. Lucky for you this dress is sold out, otherwise I'd demand that you all purchase me one immediately. (Combine your resources!!!) Simply because every ~~grandma~~ girl needs a sweater dress with retro birds sewn on to it.

That's it for today, though. I did recently buy myself 4 new dresses, but none of them are those listed above. They're cute, though. Only one is from ModCloth, though, as I have a hard time justifying purchasing a $100 dress that probably had a production cost of $25.

ModCloth does have some super cute NYE dresses, though. Which I should probably start thinking about.

And no, I didn't get paid by the company for any of this post. But I probably should. (Get on that, ModCloth!)

Tis the Season.... to be stabby

2011-11-27T13:48:00.001-08:00

I generally do everything I can to avoid Black Friday shopping because people are crappy, and the traffic is crappy, and even though the deals are great, there is nothing that really makes me more stabby than standing in an hour long line to be told something along the lines of:

"We just sold out."
"I realize you purchased this online and selected store pickup, but we failed to do this for you. Whoops my bad. So, we're out. Anything else I can get you?"
"I'm sorry, I can't actually help you with this issue, but did you find anything you wanted while you were waiting upwards of an hour for my attention?"

Or the inevitable bitching that comes from other stabby people around me during the Christmas shopping season. You know the ones.... the ones that stand behind you in line and bitch about you and everyone else in a tone that you can hear them in, but they think you can't. (Read: hypocrisy. I, apparently, am the only person allowed to be stabby in retail stores ~~this time of year~~.)

Since I try to avoid Black Friday shopping, it's only fitting that I've been out shopping every day this holiday weekend. True, I got good deals. And I managed to hit up stores that either are in a not-so-busy location, or early enough to beat people. Matt and I have a good amount of our Christmas shopping done, or we have an idea of what to get those that are left, with only a few stragglers. Which is nice, since there are, clearly, more important things for us to do this month.

Like, our anniversary!

December 4th is our special day, and so on this Friday we will head out to Las Vegas to celebrate in Sin City together. Since we "live in sin" and all, this is appropriate.

Matt has never been to Vegas, and I LOVE Vegas, so we are both very excited. Along with the fact that we get to spend 5 days alone together without the worry of work, school, or errands. That makes me happy. Sometimes it seems that both our lives get so busy and we don't ever get to see each other outside of the few hours that we are home before bedtime.

PS: It's gonna be freaking cold in Vegas while we are there.
PPS: It's also the Rock 'n Roll Marathon. Which means an extra 30,000 people on the strip. Yay?

We will be staying at Treasure Island, which I've never stayed at, and has been recently renovated (I think?). It's in the center of the strip, so that makes everything super convenient. Plus, it's a fun hotel. We both planned surprises for us while we are there. I've never been able to see the Sirens show outside the hotel, because it's always been canceled for wind when I'm there. Matt has never seen a Cirque du Soleil show, and I've only seen Zumanity (which I think means that basically, I've never seen a real CdS show either) so I bought us super-good seats for the Mystere show.

My sister and brother-in-law saw Mystere when in Vegas for their honeymoon a few weeks ago. My sister LOVED it. Since she's the ballerina, I'll take her word for it's goodness.

Matt had a surprise for about a month that I had no idea about, but last night he decided to tell me what it is, so that I can plan my outfit appropriately. The surprise? A hot air balloon ride at sunrise. I can't wait! I've always wanted to ride in a hot air balloon, and the surprise is a perfect one for our anniversary. I'm beyond excited!

I'm in a balloon! Everybody look at me I'm in a mother fucking BALLOON!!!!!!!

In other news, so that Matt and I can properly document our fabulous trip to Vegas together, we decided to buy ourselves our Christmas present early. Last week at Target we saw a Panasonic Lumix compact system camera on sale for $599, but it came with a FREE 45-200mm lens, which retails at $350. This was like, a $1000 system for $600. I stood there and lusted over it for a bit, but decided to not spend that money right then and there and went home.

Tuesday I found the same deal at Best Buy, with a memory card for free too at the same price and decided it was meant to be. So, we bought it for ourselves, and called it Christmas. It's simply beautiful, and our new camera makes me happy. I just wish I knew how to use it better. It's super sensitive to movement, and almost every picture I take comes out blurry. Clearly, I shake more than I thought I did. Makes you glad I'm not a surgeon after all, doesn't it?

Isn't she beautiful?

Isn't she lovely?

I seriously don't really know what the hell I'm doing when I use this camera, except that we now have lots of pictures of our Christmas tree and the cat. And that when I try to take long-distance shots of the Christmas lights on the houses beyond the canyon, they come out with neat little light effects. Which is my nice way of telling myself that I can't hold anything still for even 2 seconds. (2 seconds has never been so long!!) If you, dear reader, know your way around a DSLR or a Compact system camera, please feel free to leave a comment.... I can use all the help I can get!!

To wrap this up, Matt and I will be outta here Friday night until Tuesday night, and I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to spend some quality fun time with my man, and couldn't think of a better way to celebrate us. <3

"Jennifer"

2011-11-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Every day, for as long as I can remember, I have gotten in a fight with someone called Jennifer.

It's not that she doesn't deserve it, though. Jennifer is a hateful bitch.

You may know her as someone else, but every girl has met her at one point in their lives or another.
Some women tell her she is ridiculous and to shut the fuck up. Those girls are the strong ones. Some befriend her for just a little bit, she has their best interest at heart. Jennifer just wants you to be the best you possible. Jennifer's best interest is in physicality; and some girls befriend her forever.

I am the latter of those girls. Except I would call Jennifer a frenemy at best. She's been around for over 10 years, and we have had some really great times together. For a while now, though, Jennifer hasn't been in control nearly as much as she would like to be. Which makes her even more bitchy than usual.

(I swear I'm not actually talking about myself here, but I suppose the presence of "Jennifer" does make me more bitchy.)

For a while, it was just me. And while I wasn't happy with that, I certainly kept myself busy. I did that by starting graduate school and working out a lot. I'm talking 1-2 hours every day. More on weekends. I remember having what I would call "Super Saturdays" which were, in reality just a 5 hour exercise purge. I'd hit up two different gyms, go to two different dance classes, run, do some abs and strength, and then hit poolside for the rest of the day. Or study in Starbucks, depending on the season.

It was amazing and horrible all at the same time.

Let me explain.... when I was neck-deep in it, I didn't realize it was ~~maybe a tiny bit~~ ridiculous. I thought I was a rock star. I had all this energy (Where the hell did that go?) and time to burn, and best of all I was getting skinnier so everything was awesome. On weekdays, I had a job with minimal responsbility, grad school classes which I did homework at the last minute for, which left me ample time to work out at night. I was, in essence, in a very serious relationship with my gym.

I also ate 1000 calories a day, I wrote down every single thing I intook, and I portioned out foods (ahem, when I ate) like I was on rations during the Cold War. I never touched sugar, I only drank caffeine first thing in the morning, and I drank water like a fish. (Some of these things I still do.)

In the winter I lived on Earl Grey tea. With non-fat half & half, and two splenda's. That was all I needed, really. Add a protein shake for lunch, some baked chicken for dinner and I was good. I had almost no food in my apartment, not because I was broke, but because I didn't eat it. I had skim milk (to mix with protein), diet coke, half & half, chicken, and some green beans. I thought it was perfectly normal. Jennifer told me I was amazing. I was confident, pseudo-happy, and always getting thinner.

I have always struggled with my weight. For as long as I can remember. And I always remember there being a part of me which constantly told myself that I was any combination of the following:

Ugly
Fat
Worthless
Disgusting
Lazy
Inadequate
Unattractive
Huge
Giant-Sized
Squishy
Fluffy
Gross

However you want to stack them, I knew how to tell myself these things. And I always believed myself.

Then one day, Matt came along. He picked up on my ~~slight body image issue~~ eating disorder, and renamed that part of me "Jennifer". So that every time I have a moment, of sorts, he can tell me that Jennifer needs to leave his girlfriend the fuck alone, because he wants to enjoy some time with her. Or some variation of that.

With all the weddings I've been in this year, coupled with stress of the 8430238596 projects I've got going on, I've been in a serious body-funk.

I've taken more diet pills this year than I know how to count. And while I know that they basically don't do anything beneficial, they do curb my appetite to almost nothing. I've starved myself voluntarily, telling myself that the hunger pain is an achievement. I've exercised to the point of passing out. I've at some point been a member at three different gyms at one time. I've eschewed almost all of my other responsibilities so that I could work out. I've lost productivity time at work because all I can think about is getting to the gym, and I've developed elaborate schedules in order to maximize my workout time and time with Matt.

The thing that bothers me is that I'm in the happiest place in my life that I've ever been in. I have a man that I love more than anything, who loves me exactly as I am. I have a job that pays me well, which I really enjoy. I have amazing family and friends, and comparatively speaking, I'm doing pretty well for myself. (Read: I'm not unemployed, broke as shit, and standing on Wall Street in the freezing cold. I'm not the 1% by any means, but I'm working hard for what I've got.) And I still have many, many days in which I'm so incredibly unhappy, and ferociously uncomfortable in my own skin that I almost end up in an anxiety attack because of it. I've started to take the hate I have for my own body out on it at the gym.

I look at my friends on facebook and in real life who have real woman bodies that they may not love as much as I imagine they do, but they're happy in light of it. They don't do half the crap that I do to my body. They know that the love they receive from their loved ones is not rooted in physical appearance. (I know this, too, but Jennifer doesn't. And Jennifer..... as much as I hate it..... is a part of me. I've somehow learned, not from any one in particular, that my worthiness of being loved and successful is rooted in my appearance.) I envy these women; these friends of mine. I wish that I could have the physical confidence that they do. Instead of feeling like I should be wearing a paper bag on most days.

I suppose my point is that no matter how hard I've tried to rid myself of this disorder, it will always follow me around. I know this. I'll always have a part of Jennifer inside me. Ultimately, though, I wish that one day I will see myself as others who love me see me. I wish that I can exude the confidence that I want to, and that when someone tells me they think I'm beautiful..... I can feel it.

Hallow's Eve Inspired Thoughts

2011-10-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

I write my blog entries as email drafts when I have a random thought or bitchiness throughout the day. Sometimes. I don't always do this. But suffice it to say, the person who emails me the most is myself.

Sometimes it's something slightly intelligent or witty.

Sometimes it's inane banter with myself inside my brain.

But I digress.....

Today is Halloween, which is also my favorite "holiday" of the year. It's not really a holiday, though, because we all still have to work. We just get to dress up like weirdos and go to work in strange garb.

I'm an owl. Which was my costume last year, but I loved my homemade owl wings so much, and my owl hat(s) that I decided I would repeat the costume.

Also because I have an unusual fascination with animals, particularly owls and all things Class Aves. I also have an unusual database of random scientific facts, and tend to blurt them out in general conversation. I think this is perfectly normal, as I think these things are cool and interesting. My peers tend to think I'm a dork. But you know, they love me for it. I embrace my dorkiness. I really do.

(This past weekend? I not only signed up for my VERY OWN subscription to Science magazine, but I piled up all my science books onto the fireplace and took a facebook picture of them. I'm like a Sheldon in training. Minus the ~~narcissistic~~ 14-year old prodigy, PhD part.)

I'll leave you with a few random scientific facts for your mental rolodex:

1. Today the earth's population is projected to reach the 7 billion mark. If you were to count back 7 billion seconds ago (which would take a very long time, just do it mathematically) it would be the year 1789. (Note: I haven't verified this math. I heard it on the morning news.)

2. Those tiny feathers around an owls eyes? They are used to help them locate noises made by potential prey. By this process they can locate a mouse miles away simply by the noise it makes when it steps on a twig. The owls can move these feathers in order to hear better. Each one. Individually. Google image it. That's a ton of feathers. I bet you can't even wiggle your ears.

3. Dippin' Dots ice cream is made by suspending the ice cream mixture in a liquid nitrogen-type-situation, so that the ice cream freezes instantly into particulate spheres. As opposed to churning it.

4. You can distinguish a crocodile from an alligator not simply by the triangular vs rounded snout, but by the positioning of their teeth. Crocodiles have a bottom tooth on each side that sticks out (this is why they have those indentions on the top part of their snout) while alligators keep all their teeth in their mouths. Alligators are WAY more well-mannered than crocs in this aspect.

That's all I've got today. I've been trying to write a decent post for a week now, but due to the amount of stress I've been under it's all been pretty bitter and condescending. Which I'm already a ~~bit~~ good amount of natrually, but I prefer to call it sarcastic and cynical. So, since I like animals more than people, I wrote a post about animals. There you go.

It happens to everyone, yes?

2011-09-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

Did you ever do something you know you're smarter than to do, but which was innately human and yet embarrassing to take responsibility for? Have you ever been in a panic situation?

Well, I have. It happened to me.

Meet Rocky. He's a 6 year old Red Eared Slider. He lives with us. In that clear glass box. This is relevant, I swear.

Matt and I have been fondly referring to the wildfire of last week as the "free excitement" that our apartment complex so graciously supplies to us. I mean, with our monthly rent we get all the following amenities:

Granite countertops
Full tile showers
A full garage
Excellent maintenance staff
An incredible view
Exercise room, leisure room, and pool
....and all the adrenaline-pumping excitement you can stand.

But I digress.

There was a lot more involved in the fire last week besides the awkward 911 call, evacuation procedures, and annoying calls with Allstate (that ended up not being needed). We also had a little..... carpet situation.

When the fire reached the transformers in our area and they ~~exploded~~ blew, leaving us without power, that was my first inkling there was something wrong outside. (I had been falling asleep for a nap on the couch, and thought I smelled our neighbors starting their barbeque early, but I was ~~horribly mistaken~~ wrong.)

This weekend I had to send an embarrassing maintenance request to our leasing office, which Matt states is due to an innately human reaction on my part, but I'm still horribly embarrassed and too scared to think of what the possible outcomes could have been were we not so lucky. Tomorrow the new carpet people are coming to repair our carpet and I am seriously considering leaving them the following note.

Dear Benchmark Carpet Repair,

Hi! We are so happy that you are here to repair our carpet, and regret that we will not be present to answer any questions you may have. If you do have any questions while you're here, please feel free to call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX, and I will be able to answer your questions.

But let me explain.

See that turtle? The one right there? He's been around since I was in college. Which means I've had him for 6 years. (Can you believe how old I'm getting? I wish to not discuss that further.) And you see that lamp right there on top of him? That's how this happened:

But don't be fooled into thinking that I'm some irresponsible pet owner who shouldn't be allowed to handle simple circuited heat lamps while unsupervised. As previously stated, I've had Rocky since I was 21 and I've never had a situation such as this. Not when I drank a whole bunch, not when I was sad, or even when I got more responsible ~~a few years ago~~ last year.

That lamp (which has since been replaced, but we're talking generalizations, here) never touches the floor. For a number of reasons:
1. I have a science degree and I understand that UV light bulbs generate heat (you know, like the sun does)
2. Small enclosed spaces + direct heat light = serious trouble. (Want proof? Check the floor.)
3. I'm terribly scared of fire. Terribly scared.
4. I don't enjoy getting in trouble or doing anything wrong. (Perfectionistic control freak? Me? Have you read any of this letter?)

So, approximately one week ago, there was a great big fire behind our apartment. And when the transformers blew, and the power was out, and I looked out the window to see ~~50 foot flames~~ fire behind our fence, I maybe sort of panicked. Like the hysterical kind of panic.

Who knew I'd not be in control all the time.

After placing our very sweet kitty, who I'm sure you've met by now because he is ~~only a little bit~~ annoying, in his kennel, ending a very humorous call with 911, figuring out how to open the garage door without power proving that I'm not effectively trapped in this apartment, I then decided to grab the turtle for our evacuation. I picked up the lamp, which was off due to the power outage, placed it on the floor, put the turtle in an ice chest (because I couldn't find his traveling ball..... a whole other story), grabbed my purse and left. I didn't even put the grate back on top of the cage, because I thought I was about to die. I could smell smoke, which turned out to not be from a barbeque, and my eyes were burning, and I was scared. (I was also alone, but I feel bad guilt-tripping Matt for that because he was at work. So I won't mention it. Again.)

When we came home, almost immediately after the power came back on, and as soon as they'd let us back in, we found the lamp on the floor, and it had turned back on.

I am well aware of what could have happened to not only our apartment, but the entire building if we had decided to not come home that night. I lost lots of sleep over the "what ifs" of the situation, and the guilt and disappointment in myself because every firefighter in town spent 8 hours that day out here fighting fires and keeping all these homes from burning and I almost did that with a lamp.

It took me almost a week to muster the courage to notify our leasing office about my mistake, which was an embarrassing email as well.

Anyways, long story short, I am very sorry for burning a hole in our carpet. And yes, I know what could have happened. Yes, I know we're lucky that it wasn't worse. And we are very appreciative of you all repairing it. Hopefully you can make it a patch job instead of having to rip this whole section up, yes?

Thanks a bunch,

Me.

Panic situations

2011-09-08T09:28:00.001-07:00

So.... there was a fire this labor day. Immediately behind our apartment. Yup our backyard caught fire.
And by "backyard", I mean "the giant park in the canyon we overlook".
I didn't know about this fire until it had reached our complex and the transformers behind our building exploded.
NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. Our transformers did NOT save the day.
So I called 911 once I looked outside and saw flames. Which, in hindsight seemed to be everywhere and very close. But now they seem a little farther away than originally thought.
Anyways, my 911 call was apparently hysterical. It went a little like this:
911 operator: Do you need fire, EMS, or police?
Me: fire! I need fire!
911 operator: let me connect you. One moment.
::recording:: all operators are currently busy. Do not hang up.
Me: you've got to be fucking kidding me. (I'm running around the apt trying to get the cat, the turtle, and figure out how to get my car out of the garage since the power is out.)
911 operator: I'm sorry ma'am. They'll be right with you.
Me: (clearly not realizing she could hear me.) Oh, um. Thanks. Whoops.
Dispatcher: how may I help you?
Me: hi, I live at ::here:: and the transformers behind our building just blew up and there is a fire now.
D: in the stone oak park area?
Me: yes. It's behind our apartment and the flames are right behind the fence.
D: ok ma'am, we already have responders in the area.
Me: ok well its a fire. And its behind my apartment. And I can't get out of the garage because the power is out and I need to get the cat and I can't see anything because there are no lights on and I'm effectively trapped in this apartment and there is a fire right outside.
D: ok ma'am. There should be a latch you pull to get the garage manually open.
Me: this one? ::yank:: now what? Nothing happened!
D: you should be able to just pull it open on your own.
Me: you're amazing. Thank you.
D: do you need anything else?
Me: no. I can go to my mom's house. She is nearby. Thank you very much.
Then I thought I Hung up the phone. I pushed end. You know what my phone does? I have to push end twice. To be sure I guess. I didn't know that. So the dispatcher heard the following:
Me: Come on, kitty! You wanna go to grandma's house? Come on, kitty! We gotta go now!
Then I heard the dispatcher still talking. So I put the phone to my ear and said, "um... do I need to do anything else?"
D: no ma'am. Do you still need us?
Me: nope, we are leaving now. Thanks.
And I really hung up the phone that time.

The Best Years of Our Lives

2011-08-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

.... Which is what I was always told would be high school. That was false.

For a little while, the best years of my life were college.

Then 2011 happened, and I'm pretty sure that it's been the best year for almost every single person I know. (Myself included)
I could list them all, but that would be ridiculously boring for my dedicated and loyal readers, plus it's a bit "why everyone else is having a better year than you"-ish, don't you agree?

Just an overview, though....

I will have been a bridesmaid/maid of honor in 4 weddings by year end. As far as I can remember. I may have lost count, because sometimes my brain tells me 5. But I might be secretly living out my own wedding on occasion in my own little fantasy land, so I'm pretty sure it's 4 real weddings.

Miss Rachel got married in February of this year.
Miss Angelica got married in April.
My sister will say her nuptual vows in November.
Miss Meredith will vow matrimonial happiness and loyalty in December.

(Yup, it's 4. Which means I've officially caught wedding fever. Sorry. I'm human. With 2 X chromosomes. It happens.)

At my last count ~~750~~, a whole bunch of people I grew up with or have known since it was socially uncomfortable to be pregnant have had or are having babies.

(I don't have baby fever. I still see LOTS of dollar signs and poo when I hear the word "baby" or "pregnant". It's a panic attack inducing word.)

However, this post isn't about me.

Anymore.

I guess. ::sigh::

Miss Rachel got a blog when she ~~popped~~ had little Molly, so it's only fair that Miss Meredith gets a blog because she's getting married.

And moved far away from the great ~~nation~~ state of Texas.

In November, I was text messaging regularly with Meredith because I had done this really brave thing and gave online dating a shot. And I managed to meet a man I really liked, and clicked with right away, and of course I had to tell ~~some~~ all of my girls about him, because well, it was my turn to meet a man that was good, dammit.

Back to Meredith.

Anyways, because Meredith saw me being brave, she decided that if I could do it she can. Then she almost chickened out, but I told her not to, and so she joined the big internet dating world too.

Then she sent me some text messages about not wanting to go meet this guy (or two, I can't remember) she had been talking to, but I told her (nicely) to put her big girl panties on because she could be missing out on her soulmate if she bailed.

And I was right. Ha! HAHA! I wiiin. Wiiiiiiiinnnnnnniiiiiiing.

Long story short, Meredith had some really long day dates with Chris, and made him drive an hour to see her, because she's worth it (which I'm also going to claim credit of teaching her by way of "good dating rules"), and it kind of went like this:

Chris asks Meredith to be his girlfriend.
Meredith says no, citing some ~~silly~~ reason of it being too soon.
Meredith changes her mind roughly three days later (not typical at all......) and decides that what other people think doesn't matter and says yes.
Mushy Mushy Romance stuff
Someone says they love the other first.
The other reciprocates said feeling.
Chris gets into grad school ~~on another planet~~ in Michigan
Meredith ~~panics~~ calmly devises a solution.
Chris plans a solution all on his own.
Meredith picks up on said solution and starts pre-planning.

Chris proposes to Meredith in some sneaky yet horribly ~~mushy and disgusting~~ romantic way.
Meredith says yes.

Meredith makes phone calls.

Facebook statuses change.

The Earth celebrates and floods Meredith's facebook wall (and maybe Chris's, but I don't know) with congratulations and good tidings.

I buy another bridesmaid dress that I will be ~~dying~~ attening Cross Fit classes to look good in. (Cause pictures are forever, y'all.)

I receive a save the date in the mail (even though I have a mental rolodex, I still appreciate the memo. And have a slight tinge of misery that my mental rolodex will not last forever.)

I check out Meredith and Chris's wedding webpage, because I should be doing research and scientific article reading for a book project, but a 25 page paper on algae eyespots seemed daunting after reading 3 other papers.

And if you wish to check out the happy couple's very cute and witty webpage, I've linked it above, but it can be found here:

Meredith and Chris, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Much love and congratulations to the both of you!

PS: And thank you, Meredith, for not making me buy a dress made out of satin that cost $200 which I will wear once and may or may not have a marsupial pouch in the front which as much as I love you I will torment you for the rest of our lives for ::coughAngelicacough::.

<3

I'm not your consultant

2011-08-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it, I on occasion do some really stupid things. And I'm a smart girl. So, I'm able to overlook some things that very intelligent people do on account of all sorts of things like:

Stress
A general inability to understand simple concepts without making them hard
Sleep deprivation
Or just generally not wanting to do them

For example:

I am a fully grown, independent, American woman.

And I HATE getting my car maintenanced. (It's a word, now, y'all. Hush.) I hate taking it to get an oil change and tire rotation because it always happens when I'm actually out doing things that require me to look cute, so the chauvinistic Y chromosome behind the counter thinks that I'm just a pretty face (I say this with ~~zero~~ little narcissism) and that I don't know shit about cars besides "They go and they stop."

Which, in a sense, is true. I also know that they need gas in them to go and stop. See? Winning.

But my father did instill in me the importance of regular oil changes, tire rotations, and making sure the tire pressure is adequate. Because no one wants a blow out on the highway and I'm not nearly calm enough to handle that gracefully. So, I bite the bullet every 5,000 miles when my cute little Scion's light goes on and it tells me obnoxiously every day that Maintenance is Required.

Last time, this cost me $175. Because I needed a new tire and Firestone claims I have "low profile" tires, which translates to "expensive," and no, ma'am, we don't have any tires cheaper than $123. Then he called me again while at a baby shower to tell me that my alignment is off and "MUST be fixed today" and that this will cost another $180 for lifetime adjustments.

Well, Mr Firestone dipshit man, I just started a new job, and I haven't been paid in going on 3 weeks, plus I don't feel like charging $400 to my credit card today, so you can take your alignment and shove it up your happy manipulative ass.

Which actually sounded more like "I'll just take what we've previously discussed today. When can I pick it up?" (Matt got to listen to the explicit diatribe. Lucky man.)

There is a point to this blog post.

After quitting my last job (AKA "The most boring job ever with the coordinator from hell"), I thought I was done there. That I wouldn't have to go back and deal with them again. Once I was in new job, I actually realized how horribly unorganized they were, and I thank science every day that I got out when I did and got in to where I am. It really does make such a big difference when you are happy with your job. I come home happy every day. (Except Friday this week, because I sat on a highway entrance ramp for an hour. Traffic makes me exceptionally bitchy. EXCEPTIONALLY BITCHY.)

I was wrong about being done with old job, and now I'm apparently a free consultant. Which mostly pisses me off, because I only work for free at the zoo. And even then, I get cool perks. Like free shirts, the ability to cuddle the animals (after special training I sort of need to get 16.5 more hours to qualify for), free wine and food, and other cool shit. Docenting is awesome.

Anyways, I nicely agreed to attend a meeting with my old boss a week after I left so I could explain to her how I did things while I worked there. Since she was a scheduling nightmare and thinks I have nothing else to do (I'm *not* working another job 40+ hours a week, trying to workout more, doing research on 8,000 papers for a scientific book with an old professor, and then cooking dinner and keeping the apartment clean because Matt is just as busy as I am), I sent her a three page document outlining how I did all the major aspects of my job.

I left out the "Watching the live coverage of the Casey Anthony Trial on cnn.com continuously" part.

While she appreciated this document, she still wanted to meet with me, so I ended up having to go to downtown San Antonio at 5:30 in the afternoon on a weekday, and was thus, pissed. The meeting lasted 45 minutes, and then I had to rush to a dance class. Basically all I did there was fold the contracts open to the budget sheet and place them in a folder that they were already in.

This woman is a MEDICAL DOCTOR.

She writes prescriptions. Writes treatment plans. Is a Chief of Staff.

And she can't figure out contracts and budgets.

I, initially, attributed this to the whole "out of her realm" thing, and tried to be nice about it.

Then she called me yesterday. SATURDAY! While I'm vacuuming, doing laundry, and taking pictures of our abode. Instead of asking me her questions at that time, she scheduled a phone call for today around 1. Seriously, woman. This is ridiculous.

She's confused about the bills. (Honestly. That was her reasoning.) And my initial thought was, "you pay them. They have a dollar amount on them, and you write a check, and mail it. They'll send you another one in 3 weeks. Sucks, doesn't it?"

I'm a sucker though, and my dad also instilled in me the "not burning bridges" thing, and in my industry once you're hated, you're hated forever. So I agreed.

But now I wish I hadn't.

Home and Heart

2011-08-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Let me first preface this post with the following disclaimer:

I never do large picture posts because I find them to be horribly annoying and frustrating in terms of formatting. I have to upload, then rotate, and edit, and caption, and organize 21 pictures for this post, and I've already so far put them all on the new post document page and then deleted them all because blogger is not nearly as formatting friendly as Word. (I mean, really, I have a 24" computer screen and I can make the internet window as large as I want, but the formatting frame remains a dinky 5x7"). If I wanted to format a three page document on a notecard, then I'd have done that with scissors. And paper. Not really expensive technology. So, I'm sorry if it's poorly organized and/or frustrating.

AND NOW......

The actual post.

In early July, Matt and I moved into this new apartment. Which we love. And since then, only a handful of the people who helped us move have actually seen it. So, since between the two of us we've been basically inundated with requests to post pictures of our new home on facebook, I decided I may as well just make a blog of it. Because facebook isn't any easier to utilize, really, and it annoys me as well.

Plus, this also allows me to blog, which I realize I haven't done a lot of lately. So now I'm playing catch up.

This is what you see when you walk in our front door. Please ignore the paint container on the first shelf. Our mover-friends sort of nailed one of our corners with my couch. We need to fix that.

The bowl on shelf one. Matt found these really neat looking pieces, and I feel it's only fair to pay him credit for his find.

Shelf Number Dos.

Shelf Number Three. Which mostly happened this way because both my bookshelves are full and Borders is closing. I have a problem, y'all.

I realize all these vase pictures are annoying. I'm annoyed by them. But consider this a virtual tour of our home, and be happy that I'll never be a real estate agent. This sits at the top of the stairs before they turn.

Here is the living room from the top of the stairs-ish. That's my awesome couch that my ~~movers~~ friends hate.

It's a kitchen. We cook here. And wash dishes. But we LOVE our granite countertops, and the real tile on the floors. (And in our showers. Whatwhat?!)

More of the kitchen. See my fancy knives? I'm standing between the pantry and fridge. Which, really, you don't need to see. It's boring. Much like the rest of this post probably is to you.

Dining room which we see from the kitchen. Yes, there is a shoestring tied to that chair for kitty. And that is a lot of booze, but I assure you, we have more. We like to party. We like, we like to party.

That's what I fondly refer to as "the nook" and which kitty fondly refers to as "personal playgound". Which leads Matt to fondly refer to kitty as "Shkitty," which is a combination of "shitty kitty." And it's trademarked. You can't steal it.

The ~~black hole of productivity~~ entertainment center. I didn't pick that song, the cable TV people did. I did dance around to it though. 'Cause I'm ~~annoying~~ fun.

Our porch. And for those of you who asked me what a zero gravity chair was recently, this is them. They get all lean-back-y (also known as recline-y) and you don't touch the ground at all. Sometimes you fall asleep in them.

Our view from the balcony. It's kind of awesome for sunsets. And hummingbirds. And I was hoping I could birdwatch from there, and not be the creepy lady with binoculars, but even I'm not confident enough to risk being seen doing that.

The master bedroom. I realize there are no sheets on the bed, it's laundry day. And I was multitasking.

The other side of the master. From the closet.

Master bath. Yup, more granite. And full tile showers. Which really just means that we're going to have to buy a really expensive house in a few years, because I'm ~~getting~~ spoiled.

More living room. This is basically what one of us runs into each morning while it's still dark.

The stairs to the split level. The guest room/office is up here, but that's actually where all the mess is still, so I didn't photograph it. On the left is the ~~guest bathroom~~ cat's room. So that obviously doesn't get a photo (who wants to see bowls of food and water and a hidden litter box?) Also a linen closet on this floor. With another vacuum. We have ~~8000~~ 3 vacuums.

My parents have had this bronze in their house forever, and I mentioned to my mom one day that if they ever wanted to put something else in it's place that we'd take it. My parents actually have something else to hang on the wall where this was, so we got it. If I remember the story correctly it was a wedding present to them from my uncle. So it's like, a family heirloom. Sort of.

This concludes our tour. We hung this nice little piece of metal art on the blank wall space here so that all of our guests can see something pretty as they leave. There's the door. ;-)

Well, so that was maybe easier than I originally thought, but I hate how it's one picture per line. What if I wanted to put them next to each other? I realize there is probably a way to do this, but I just don't have the ~~time~~ patience to deal with it right now.

So there's our new abode. We love it, and like having people over for dinners, and I totally want to play drinking games, so let us know.... we're fun people. <3

The 5th H

2011-07-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

Back in the Baylor days, Rachel, Meredith, and Sarah had a little group of four friends all with the letter H in their names.

I know, by now you've realized that you can count and I can't.

I didn't know the original 4th H, but I recall her name being Ashley. So, I can count, just stop getting ahead of me while I tell this story. Okie dokie?

Well, Ashley was one night abducted by local Wacoan aliens, and taken to a trailer park to be held hostage for the rest of her long long life without the privilege of sorority letters, Common Grounds coffee, obnoxious church songs sung in Chapel, and pretentious daddy's girls. No one ever saw her again, and Meredith, Sarah, and Rachel were all very sad.

Until Meredith met me in one of her classes, and decided that I was infinitely more cool than this Ashley chick and that I'd make an awesome replacement H because really, their lives were incomplete without me. I was one of those dreaded greek system "independents" and didn't belong to a sorority, so meant that they could brainwash me on their own without the worry of that silly Panhellenic council over their heads. And I could do things like get drunk and wait for the pizza man man man man man to show up at the apartment, and answer annoying repeat anonymous callers in a spanish accent with a short amount of sentences revolving around the singular statement of "Si, soy Nina."

But I digress. Because those are inside stories between myself and the other H's that they will understand but none of my other millions five readers will understand.

Anyways, we all grew up. And it was awful and scary and fantastic and horrible all at the same time.

I did a bunch of things involving not going to medical school, working with rats in the name of SCIENCE, starting my career and going to grad school.

Meredith got a million degrees. And is still working on one. And she got engaged.

Sarah also got another degree and had a big grown up trip to another big city far far away.

Then Miss Rachel became a teacher and was the first to get married.

And pregnant.

Not that I ever particularly planned to do the spawning thing before the age of 30, but she did beat everyone else to it.

Today we welcome Miss Molly Mahan to the world! She'll be the 5th H to our happy little group, on account of her last name actually having an H, and her mom being awesome.

Congratulations to the Mahan family. I'm so very proud of Mrs Rachel for growing a beautiful baby girl, and I just know she's going to be one fantastic momma. I can't wait to meet little Molly.

And one day, I'll catch up to the rest of the H's in my group. Apparently all I've done is work. And go to the gym.

<3

Graduation Goggles

2011-07-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's my last day of work at a job I've despised for quite some time now. And it wasn't my bosses that made me hate my job. It was one particular coworker, and the complete lack of anything substantial to do.

Yes, I'd really like to tell this person exactly what I think about them. And I'd LOVE to do it in a blog post. But I'm not that girl. It'd be mean and hateful, and I just don't want that kind of stuff on here. I said I'd leave here via the high road without driving the bus over her, and so I will.Even if she never will read it.

But that doesn't mean I won't leave her with a ton of crap to do that she should have done before I even started working here.....

Anyways, in other news, it all reminds me of The Exploding Meatball Sub episode of "How I Met Your Mother". They talk about "graduation goggles", which is that nostalgic feeling you get when something you despise is ending. Like high school, or working here. I wanted to embed a clip of it, but it's actually quite challenging to find one. So.... no clip for you.

I will leave this photo, though. Because it's a more accurate description of Graduation Goggles in the workplace.

Since Marshall (who's name I can never remember) is quitting his job, he goes through this whole sequence of making his most despised moments actually happy memories. And it makes him second guess his decision. I didn't have that experience. I still very much fear that Monday morning, CTT will tell me that they didn't hire me and it was all a silly dream. (But thanks, crazy lady, would you be interested in participating in a research study?) I do remember how excited I was to start this job, how very cool it was to be getting not one but two offices in San Antonio, my own Blackberry (in addition to my personal iPhone), business cards, and the elite-ness of a management position. And then I walked in and met my coordinator. Who, as previously discussed, is a generally miserable excuse for a human being that decided to make my employment here hell from the very moment she laid eyes on me. I never trusted her, and was proven to be correct in that instinct throughout my tenure here as I made more and more discoveries of just how self-serving and non-cooperative she really is. I remember my first ever study that I initiated from feasibility to green-light, my first big contract, my first real business trip, and losing my first trial. This job was important to me in many ways, but as time went on, and things became less shiny and more real-world, I realized that this job was not at all what I thought it was nor what I honestly believed it had the potential to be. As long as the evil coordinator works here, this place will never grow into everything that the PI's want it to be. Primarily because she has a complete aversion to change (which I attribute to age, ignorance, and egotism) and the PI's are too scared they can't find someone to replace her. That is what makes me most sad about this place. The PI's are fantastic, they're excellent physicians and some of the best people I've ever worked for. They want this place to be the best it can be, and there's a huge market for clinical research in San Antonio, and they could stand to make a lot of money off of this industry if they just had someone running their company who really cared about it as much as they cared about themselves. And the coordinator they have now is not that person. I tried to be, but was blocked from doing so by evil coordinator.

The truth is, I won't miss this place. At all. But I made a friend here in Rita, who is our research assistant and a general badass person. Plus, she actually does all her work and our evil coordinator's work. While I blog. And become a desk accessory/paperweight during my last two weeks. (While also taking 5 days off.) Rita's awesome, and I know she sometimes reads this blog, so shout out to you, I'll totally miss you. Thanks for being such a great person and coworker, and if you ever need a reference for a new job, you've got my number. <3

Additionally, it stands to be noted that in the two weeks since I accepted new job, and turned in my resignation for old job I've gotten three different offers for interviews and jobs. All of which I've declined for one reason or another. I'm really excited about the company I'll be working for starting Monday. And that in itself says a lot.

I have a lot to do today, actually. Most of it is "finishing up" kind of stuff. I need to finish some budgetary stuff from this year, and change my passwords for my email, write my auto-response message, forward my emails to evil coordinator (dude, INCLUDING ALL THE SPAM), turn in my keys, clear out my internet cache (so no one can find my chloroform searches) and take all the shit that *actually* belongs to me home with me. Among other things. Hopefully I can get out of here early, as well, because it's not only Friday for me, but my last Friday here. And I have a date tonight. With a cute guy. Who I live with. (Still fun to say.)

HAPPY HARRY POTTER DAY!!!!!!!!!

See how I did that? How I waited until the actual calendar day of the Harry Potter release date before I told you Happy Harry Potter Day (which will from here on out be referred to as HHPD, or HPD if you aren't happy about it)??? It's a magical skill, actually, that I've worked on for years and years called patience. It's still very much a work in progress. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

So, I've cleaned off my desk of the actual shit I need to do today, and I feel it's about time I get rid of it. Because the sooner I do that, the sooner I can peace outta here.

On why I'll never visit The Hofbrau again UPDATED

2011-07-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

I'm a stickler for good customer service.

And I have NO issues calling companies out on their poor customer service when it happens to me.

But I also make it a point to always answer the surveys for good customer service with stellar remarks. Simply because good work should be rewarded as well. And since I've worked in customer service before, I realize it's kind of a shitty position at times.

Last Saturday Matt and I went to The Hofbrau for Angelica's birthday party. We got there right at 7:00 and left around 9:30. We paid our tab separately, and while I could have seen a little bit better table service for some of our friends, I understand we were a large party (about 10 of us) and it was a busy night. Our tab was accurate when we received it with an 18% gratuity included, and we paid it and went home after a long two days of moving and little sleep.

Matt noticed on Monday morning that in addition to our tab, there was an extra $283 charge pending from The Hofbrau on his bank account. I called the manager regarding the issue while Matt was at work, just to find out their policy for us to follow up on if the charge went through later. He stated that all they'd need was the last 4 digits of the card, and that they'd remove the charge. I was marginally satisfied with this answer, mostly because I knew at the time there wasn't much else we could do about it, but a $283 charge is mildly disturbing to me.

This morning Matt let me know that the charge had gone through and was no longer pending. So I took his card information down to call The Hofbrau again and get the issue resolved, thinking that it'd be no big deal and this situation would resolve easily. I mean, things like this happen all the time, right?

Once I called The Hofbrau, I mentioned to the manager that I had called several days ago about a charge that wasn't ours and he proceeded to tell me that he had called me back and would refund both my tab and the other tab since this was, clearly, their mistake.

Which was a nice thought, but he had the wrong person. I not only didn't leave a call back number for the manager, but also didn't leave the last 4 digits of Matt's card with him, because I didn't know them at the time. So not only has he confused me with someone else, but alerted me to the fact that we are not the only customers who were charged extra tabs that weren't theirs. Apparently, running tabs that don't belong to you is a frequent past-time at The Hofbrau, so if you go there, you should check your bank accounts.

Moving on, the manager took these all-important last 4 digits and reviewed the records from Saturday night. He found our actual tab charge, but failed to find the exorbitant $283 tab that was not only charged, but collected. His next piece of advice was to call the bank, because this was, clearly, an issue on their end.

And it's a huge hassle on my end.

He apologized for the inconvenience, but basically told me that he couldn't help me, but there was no tab at all run on Saturday night that was that high.

Interesting.

Let's note one thing: This was Matt's and I's first experience at The Hofbrau. We had heard excellent things about it from all of our friends, and were definitely looking forward to experiencing it ourselves. But the whole hassle of this situation makes me want to not return. EVER. Especially since I have a sneaking suspicion that someone (ahem, one irritable waiter) somehow ran an additional tab or tip for himself on Matt's credit card, as I've had that happen to friends before.

Well, Matt calls his bank, explains the situation, and they are able to give him a reference number, approval number, tracking number, and even the number of the credit card terminal which the amount was run at. How nice of you, bank. Thank you for making this simpler. I find it hard to refute this many numbers. And how efficient were they? Very.

The Hofbrau, in response to this information, tells Matt that the General Manager is the one who can access this information in the system and he will be in at 4pm. That we can call back then.

I'll be making an in-person appearance, actually. A little sense of urgency didn't hurt anyone.

Since at this point, I'm pissed that no one at The Hofbrau even seems to care that their staff is running mysterious credit card charges. I realize that a customer's missing $283 is really not important to your daily lifestyle and that you really don't particularly care (and if you wish to counter this belief, then please prove it to me through actions), but I would think that customer service and the livelihood of your business does matter. I may not have that much social media pull, but I do know a fair amount of people. And I'm persistent.

To be fair, should The Hofbrau correct their mistake as well as comp our actual tab for the hassle and as a general customer service stand-by, I will update this entry to reflect their actions and consider returning as a customer. But until then, I'm unleashing as much social networking wrath that I can.

So no, UrbanSpoon, I would *not* recommend The Hofbrau to my friends. Because the last time I checked, my friends didn't like having the wool pulled over their eyes through poor business ethics. And to The Hofbrau, you are a reflection of your employees, always.

Update: After a 45 minute visit yesterday with the general manager of The Hofbrau, Matt has gotten all his monies back, and I have acquired a voucher for two free entrees. Apparently, our waiter ran Matt's credit card initially for the entire table bill. Then voided it and ran our actual tab. The bank had a tiny miscommunication about the whole thing, and the manager had to call them with me present in order for them to reverse the charge.While this happens all the time, and I understand it's an easy mistake to make and we're all human, they were busy, etc. etc..... I still maintain that the manager should have come to our table to notify us of the situation. Or someone could have just dropped by and said "Hey, look, I'm sorry, but we accidentally ran this total first, and voided it, so it should disappear in a few days, but you'll see a pending charge of $263 on your bank statement later this week. I apologize, and here's a free dos-a-rita coupon. We hope you come back."

It wouldn't have been that complicated. And it would have saved a TON of hassle.

Just sayin'.

The Boy Who Lived-day

2011-07-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

Ideally, I'd like to post pictures of our new home that I took with my Sony NEX-3 camera, but I don't have a Nex-3, and our apartment is still not really photo-worthy. I mean, in certain places. So.... no pictures for you.

Yet.

I also was introduced via Facebook to this CATchy little YouTube video last night. I thought it was funny. In an awkward kind of way.

But really, this girl needs some serious medications.

It's my last two (YES! 2!!) days of work at this job and I have a fundamental LACK of motivation. I'm basically a desk accessory at this point, because all I do is things like blogging, updating my Google+ account, Facebook stalking myself, and reading books. Yeah. It's bad. I like to think I'm saving up all my work-place awesomeness for the new job on Monday.

As tomorrow is Friday, and thus, my last day here, I will actually conduct some kind of work functioning on a basic level. Read: Filing and reviewing budgets. But that basically covers one day, and I'd hate to work on it for three days when I can do it all in one. It's called efficiency, people.

As for those of you wishing me a Happy Harry Potter day, let's get one thing straight. Tomorrow is Harry Potter day. The movie releases on 7/15, and yes, I know many of you will see it tonight, but it doesn't release until midnight which is technically tomorrow, so get with the program. You're a day early and your sense of daytime/nighttime and calendar skills is embarrassing. I'm excited, too, but I'm containing it for when I see the movie on Saturday. The day after Harry Potter day. See, it's really quite a basic concept.

Since this is the last Harry Potter day we'll ever have (shed your tears here), what will we all look forward to now? Breaking Dawn 1 day? Percy Jackson 2 day? The Golden Compass 2 day? (Note: those last two are not in production, don't get excited.) Canada Day?

~~Our~~ Your lives will soon be empty. Okay, fine. Mine will be emptier. But far from empty. Remember how Matt and I just moved in and Monday is new job day? Yeah, The Boy Who Lived ain't got nothin' on that.

But for your reading pleasure, and my Baylor alumni bragging rights: What you should learn from Harry Potter

It was also brought to my attention that in celebration of my departure, I should write a ~~professional~~ scathing letter to my one and only dearest "boss" who has made me hate my job for many, many months. And while I'm attempting to high-road it outta here (except that pesky motivation issue), I figure I can write said letter, but just never actually send it. I mean.... it's therapeutic, right? Perhaps I will work on this later. Because, I mostly think it sounds like a great amount of fun. If only I could get my brain working in order to utilize big words she won't understand......

New Beginnings

2011-07-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

Matt and I moved into our new apartment this weekend, and it truly is starting to look like a home. We've got an incredible view, granite countertops, full tile baths, and a rather spacious garage (that now has a new washer/dryer set and grill in it!) Additionally, I get to come home to the man I love each and every night, and that's everything I've ever wanted, so it's like I'm living a happy little dream. (You can groan over the sap here, but I'm happy for us. So there.)

Along with the new digs come new jobs. Matt started his new job after the 4th of July holiday and I start mine on Monday the 18th. Is it strange that I have this horrible fear that I'll show up Monday morning for my brand new job and they'll tell me that they didn't actually hire me and I'm terribly mistaken? This is a constant fear I've had since basically the moment I accepted the offer. I'm not sure why. I think it has something to do with having a solid long-term career opportunity with a company I really respect, and that whole "too good to be true/ no one ever gets this lucky" kind of thing.

Back in April, after I completed my comprehensive exam for my graduate degree, one of my panel members and former professors offered me a co-authorship with him on a book about my subject matter. This all started so completely randomly, and really is kind of a strange progression of events.

I initially had a completely different panel than what I ended up with. I had asked my pharmacology (and other subjects) professor a year in advance to participate on my committee, and when it came time to own up or shut up, she shut up. Someone had made promises to too many students and not only bailed on my exam, but my friend Eva's as well. After she signed the sheet.

So I scavenged my brain for a professor whose class I did well in, who would remember me, and whose class I didn't text too much in. You know, I wanted someone who respected me. As I have a serious text message problem (that I at times attribute to work, because if I can get away with that, I would), I was rather coming up short for names. I also didn't make it a solid habit to chit-chat with my professors. Mostly because I didn't want to be that brown-nosed girl who befriends her teachers for an A. I earned my A's. Except for in Sensory Physiology. We all got A's in that class.

I had heard rumors that this professor was a good one to have on your panel because he let you pick your topic. I wanted to pick vision/the eye, because while everyone else does hearing/the ear, this was complicated for me. (seriously, all those ions moving back and forth... and counter clockwise/clockwise motion.... and the cochlea. I just didn't want to pick a topic on which I knew my professor had based his entire tenure on. Call me what you will.) Anyways, picking Dr. R for my exam was kind of a last-minute move on my part, because I knew that neurology is NOT my forte, and that for all true and realistic purposes, I should have failed his class, but I needed a professor and desperate times call for desperate measures.

Dr. R graciously accepted his position on my committee, and also agreed to be the chairperson. Then in an interesting twist of events, when he asked me my topic, and I mentioned the eye and vision, he asked me if I'd be willing to do a special research project of sorts.

And, of course, the professor-pleaser/desperate-to-graduate person in me happily accepted this assignment.

Then I spent the next 6-8 weeks in research stress hell, and pulled off a committee exam that was one of a kind, put one of my professors to sleep, and I was the one who knew the most about the topic (which seemed to me like a 'guaranteed to pass' type of scenario). 25 research papers later, countless hours of researching and LOTS of company paper..... I received an email from Dr. R asking me if I'd be interested in turning my research topic into a book through a co-authorship with him.

Did I mention that it was always a dream of mine to be published?

I mean, sure, when I was a kid, I thought I'd be an author of the Stephen King type of notoriety. However, now that I'm an adult and book deals are only truly given out if you're an acquitted murderer or have a story about shiny vampires, I can accept that any book is better than none.

So I accepted. I figured it'd be at least a good way to keep my brain working post-grad.

What's this book about, you say?

Well, it's about algae. No, really. It's about single celled algae (the Chlamydomonas, Halobacteria, and Euglena) species, and how they process and respond to light. In a nutshell: How algae see.

Which is, I know, terribly boring to 98% of the population. And I realize that if (and that's a big if) this book really does get published, the most I could hope for is that some science teacher somewhere uses it as a teaching aid. And that I'll never make money off it.

But I'd be published.

So, I've finally acquired my UTSA access back for the library system and can resume my research on this topic.

What a busy July: two new jobs, a new apartment with my love, and beginning a book. Sweet action!

Reading list, Part Deux

2011-07-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

This could also be titled any of the following:

"I have 4.5 days of work left and don't care to do anything."
"I needed to bring my laptop to work today, initiate unproductive cycle now."
"I'm a little stressed about moving this weekend and am seeking a refuge from all my 'Holy crap, this is going to suck, Are we moved in yet? My friends are going to hate me.' thoughts."

But generally, I had some time to kill this morning when I was skipping work. (I promise I'm much MUCH more responsible than this, but I'm quitting a job in which I haven't had anything to do except watch Casey Anthony on cnn.com for a few months and now since that's over I've got nothing.) During this lovely morning off, I went to our new leasing office and convinced them to give us our keys Friday night so that we can start moving in ~~Saturday morning~~ Friday night.

Then, since I was supposed to meet my friend Natalie for lunch, and it was less than an hour from the time I completed previous errand, I decided to kill some time at Barnes and Noble. Simply until it was time to go.

And I ended up creating a whole new mental reading list of things I ~~want to~~ must buy once we're all moved in and settled, I start my new job, and actually track WW points like a good little kitten.

So here goes:

Sherrilyn Kenyon Dark Hunter Series

I have an affinity for vampire/paranormal books. Especially series. For some reason, they make me feel accomplished. If I find myself lucky enough to fall into the series near the beginning or before it's hugely popular, I feel particularly proud of my good find. I realize this is silly, but shut up.

I've wanted to read the Sherrilyn Kenyon Dark Hunter series for a while, and actually have all of them on my Kindle, but there is something so daunting about a 15-book series, and of course I keep choosing to read all those smaller series prior to starting this one.

I don't even know real specifics about the series, except that it's been highly recommended to me by a fellow reader that I trust, so on the list it is, and hopefully I'll knock it out soon. If only I had more pool time.

Larissa Ione Pleasure Unbound (Demonica series)

Stop. Mocking. Me.

I've actually read all of the Demonica series books, because they're quick reads that I can finish in a week, and they're fully entertaining. They are those "trash novels" that make for the perfect getaway book. I read smart stuff, too, so I'm allowed this kind of "crap". Even though it is far, FAR from crap.

Five books in the series. I've basically read the entire series in 5 weeks. But longer than that, since I didn't read them in succession.

Michael Scott The Alchemist (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel)

Again, Harry Potter is over, and when I saw these books in the store mentioning Nicholas Flamel (who we all know created the sorcerer's stone), I was instantly intrigued. (Hi, mass marketing strategies, Yes I would like Harry Potter to come back.Wait, but he isn't? And you have a book that will satisfy me in it's place? And it's the beginning of a 5-part series? Sure thing, sign me up.)

I don't even know what it's about, but the other books in this series are titled The Magician (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel), The Sorceress (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel), The Necromancer (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel), and The Warlock (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel). I figure I'll find out what they're about as I'm reading them. It's not like reading the Sookie Stackhouse books has helped me know what True Blood will be about.

Diana Gabaldon, Outlander

The first book in a 7-part series, all I know is that it's about a woman who time travels to 18th century Scotland to be with her husband. Or something along these lines. Point is, it's an award winning, NYT Bestseller and I want in. Other books in this series are (in order): Dragonfly in Amber, Voyager (Outlander), Drums of Autumn (Outlander), The Fiery Cross (Outlander), A Breath of Snow and Ashes (Outlander), An Echo in the Bone: A Novel (Outlander).

As soon as I can rationalize purchasing them all, then I will buy the set and give them a new home.

Jeff Lindsay Dexter Series

I've read the first Dexter book, and I own the others, but haven't read them yet. (Really, it's a trend. I have far FAR more books than I have actually read, but they're all on the "To Be Read" list. I have a Half Price Books problem.)

However, since Casey Anthony is now over, and the new season shall start shortly, I wish to re-read the first one and read the others. From what I remember of the first book, it was kind of a harder book to read and had a good amount of stream of consciousness to it with a Faulkner-esque feel.

But I could be wrong. It was years ago, and I know I half-assed it.

So there you have it. The list of books I can currently remember that I own/wish to own, and need to read. Other authors who didn't make this list, but are totally on my TBR rolodex are: Christine Feehan, more of George RR Martin, James Patterson, and Michael Connelly. Among others.

So this is what it felt like.....

2011-07-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

It, apparently, happens once a decade.

Someone who is stunningly guilty of murder is acquitted by a panel of 12 jurors and proceeds to walk the streets as a free person.

And it's a miserable failure of our American justice system.

Which, basically, makes me mad as hell. (Enough to type in a one-sentence-per-paragraph format)

I missed the OJ Simpson trial in 1995, and on that fateful morning in October that year I was busy learning something useful in the 6th grade (Or something like that). I'm sure Algebra was useful, at some point.

So, for all intensive purposes, I made up for the media circus that was that capital murder trial with the media circus that was this capital murder trial. And when I saw that the verdict for all charges except those of lying to a law enforcement officer was "not guilty" I was stunned. I thought that for sure she would have been found guilty. I mean, who else could have done this? How else could this little girl have died and been found in a swamp by her parent's house? If they knew that she died in the pool in June, then why did no one mention it during the ~~months~~ YEARS that it took this case to get to court?

I've never been one to follow reality TV, or get involved in the latest media craze, or circus act, or what not. I mean, honestly, the only thing I used to follow pop-culture-wise was Chelsea Lately, and even then it was sparse. I got so caught up in the Casey Anthony trial/drama, that I seriously think I transplanted part of my brain to that courtroom for the last few weeks.

And I'm pissed about the verdict.

And I slightly hate myself for that. I have zero connection to these people, and I've only been to Orlando for Disneyworld purposes, AND I don't even really like random children all that much. But I wanted to see this girl punished for her actions. I suppose I wanted to know, on some basic subconscious level that humanity does still exist and that good prevails over evil.

I was wrong.

Well, Hell

2011-06-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

Remember how I previously mentioned that I got rid of approximately 4 bridesmaid dresses?

Well, while reading the recent updates of the Casey Anthony trial, I saw an advertisement on the side of the screen for a site called NewlyMaid. It stated that I could trade in my old bridesmaid dresses for a new little black dress.

::Facepalm::

Seriously.... HUNDREDS of dollars I could have traded in, here.

It's so simple, too. You request a mailer for your dress, package it and drop it off at any FedEx location. They send it for you, and once it is received they give you a credit that you can use towards a new black dress. Plus, these dresses? Totally acceptable for work, daytime, and nighttime. I'm suddenly so ~~bummed~~ pissed that I totally just gave away four perfectly good dresses. However, I think I have at least one at my mom's house... so I can help her declutter and totally profit from it. Win!

I mostly just really want to try this out.

I'll have two more bridesmaid dresses this year, but at least I know that I can send those in and get a new LBD for my birthday next February.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2011-06-27T13:25:00.000-07:00

Such a totally cliche title, and not that any of you *totally* care about my weekend, but you know....

Friday night Matt and I had a cute little date night at my apartment. He woke up and thought "I'm gonna get a car today", so we did some errand-running in his new car, and then came home with some pizza and watched a movie.

We watched the new Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, because we've been watching the series and hadn't seen this one yet. I was less than riveted by the movie, and Matt spent much of the evening Google-ing things to do with/to his car, so he obviously wasn't too super thrilled with it, either. But I finished it and didn't hate it. I however, am desperately searching for something to replace the Harry Potter series once the last movie occurs next month, so I seek to be highly entertained by anything fantasy-like that I can find.

Next I will start watching the Game of Thrones series on HBO On Demand.... as soon as I get a decent way through the book. Just so that the important parts of the book aren't ruined for me, but I'm still entertained by the show. (This has been my strategy with the True Blood series, and so far, it's been successful.)

(Side note: have you noticed how ~~good~~ awesome I've become with these embedded Amazon links?)

Saturday was Miss Rachel's baby shower in Austin, so I woke up early to catch up on the Casey Anthony trial while getting ready for the drive. Lucky for me Judge Perry sent the jury home early and I was able to get ready for her and Molly's big day without too many distractions (This is coming from the girl who reads her Kindle while straight ironing her hair.)

I took the diaper cake and headed to Cedar Park for the much anticipated party. Rachel's friend Jenny did a fantastic job organizing the party, had tons of great food set out for the guests, an adorable cake for the party, and enough presents for one guest (totally not me) to exclaim "All this stuff is enough to make me want to have a kid!".

All in all, Miss Molly made a fantastic haul even while still in utero, and Rachel is an adorable mommy-to-be who even though she *claims* she is crankier than usual, I couldn't tell at all. For everything she's gone through to bring Molly to planet earth safe and sound, she makes it look easy, and for that I admire her. I know I for sure couldn't have done it with half the grace she has... I would totally have been a whiny bitch.I can't wait to meet the little spawn. <3

Myself, Miss Rachel, and Miss Sarah

On Sunday I made mini red velvet cupcakes with a white chocolate infused cream cheese icing for the premiere of True Blood season 4. I also made full size ones with the leftover batter, but really, the mini ones are like bite-sized bits of heaven and I ended up trashing a bunch of them because they're so damn tempting.

We bummed around for some of the afternoon, then stopped at Staples so I could print copies of my resume and transcripts for a job interview this week (Friday at 10, y'all... keep those fingers crossed!) then met my parents, sister and future brother in law for a belated Father's Day dinner. We headed home afterwards to watch the season premiere of my favorite show, thereby wrapping up a fun little weekend. Which was sort of a glimpse of what life will be like once we officially live together in less than two weeks. (Squee!!)

This morning I totally had a moment of panic in which the 12 boxes I have packed of mostly books and art supplies is not nearly the dent I thought it was, and I need to start cleaning out stuff and packing boxes like, ASAP.

Then I got to work and thought to myself "Dude, you've got two weeks and a few days off to sort that out... just chill for a bit."

So I squashed the "I need to do something to prepare for this move" itch and called Time Warner Cable to schedule an appointment to set up our cable and was thoroughly surprised by the awesome service I got. We pay $30 to our apartment complex for basic cable a month, but anything above that needs to be sorted out through TWC themselves. I was able to get the following package:

Digital TV package for 2 TVs

1 DVR

HBO

Free Showtime for 1 year (which allows me to watch Dexter when season six starts!)

High Speed Internet + Power Booster

HD channels

..... all for $77.50 a month. After taxes and fees. I seriously felt like I was making money off this deal. (Then I later remembered she removed the basic cable charge from my bill, so it's actually like paying $107.50 a month) Right now I pay about $120/month for my AT&T services, so I'm still happy.

That's about it for the mundane and typical right now. Apologies for the lack of anything substantial or witty.

Would you like butter on your popcorn?

2011-06-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

As promised, a movie list. :)

True Blood: Season 3

I know it isn't a "movie" per se, but it's 12 hours of viewing pleasure, so it gets included. I linked this in to the previous post, so it's only fair that I put it here. The entire True Blood franchise is fantastic, and while season 3 lagged a little, I still thoroughly enjoyed it. Season 4 starts on June 26 (Sunday!), so you only have a couple of days to catch up on it. Pick your team carefully, Bill or Eric.

The Millennium Trilogy

I read these books a year ago and couldn't put them down. Since then I've recommended them to a whole bunch of people, and made others watch the movie. My awesome boyfriend made the whole trilogy of the movies a "surprise present" for me while I was going crazy during comp exams, and now he's going to have to watch them with me. Which isn't a punishment... it's a whole bunch of awesomeness. These are the Swedish versions, with dubbing (that doesn't suck) and subtitles if you wish. The American version of the film is scheduled for release in December of this year.

Limitless

I haven't actually seen this movie yet, and it isn't released until July, but it looked like a good idea. In case you missed the previews, Limitless is about a special little pill that no, doesn't help with erectile dysfunction, but actually helps you access ALL the parts of your brain. Since you know, the average human being only utilizes 10-12% of their brain.

Greek: The Complete Series

While I don't even know if they make the complete series on DVD or Blu-ray yet, I do know that Netflix carries it on their On Demand program. Which is how I watched it. I didn't rush Greek while I was in college, and this series basically allowed me to live vicariously through the pleasant moments of the Greek system while also solidifying that I in no way regret remaining an "independent" throughout my academic career. I became addicted to this show while conveniently studying for my comprehensive exam last semester. I passed AND finished the series.... win-win.

The Collector

Again, another movie I haven't actually *seen*, but I do own. I heard good things about this movie, and as I'm at a complete lack for any good horror movies coming out this summer, and I'd hate to recommend Saw 7, because it was awful, I'll go with a movie I haven't seen, but others thought was good. Because horror movies are so hit and miss, and this way, I can't be held accountable for it if you hate it.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

Because you need to prepare for Part 2.

Bridesmaids

I was lucky enough to be able to see a screening of this movie a week before it opened, and it was absolutely hilarious. A female version of The Hangover in a way, the whole cast was perfectly casted, and I loved the characters of each one. Plus, if you've ever been a bridesmaid, then you can relate to this movie. If you've been a bridesmaid as many times as I have this year, then you'll understand why watching one woman ruin another's wedding is just a teeny tiny bit hilarious.

Alright, so go buy something. Or rent it. Or stream it. I don't care how you watch it, but get caught up with the times. And let me know if there's anything you'd recommend to me.

<3

Ribbons, bows, and tiny baby toes

2011-06-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

Miss Rachel (whose blog you can read here), a close friend of mine from my Baylor days is having her much anticipated baby shower tomorrow, and I made her a diaper cake for it. This being my first ever diaper cake, I had a lot of learning to do, but was overall happy with the final turnout.

It doesn't actually lean like that, I'm just a bad photographer. And it was my phone camera.. cut me some slack.

Anyways, a few people have asked me how I made the diaper cake, even though I'd rather them just pay me to make them one, I figure I learned how to do it through my internet skills... and I know other people have far more advanced internet skills than I, so here you are. A step-by-step (ish):

Diapers (duh)

I used roughly 80 size 1 diapers for Rachel's cake. I'll explain the how-tos later.

Rubber bands, assorted sizes

I got mine at the dollar store. It just made more sense that way.

But if you want to buy anything you see on my site from Amazon, then by all means.... click my links. :-)

Styrofoam base

If you don't already know, I ~~hate~~ LOATHE styrofoam. Once you've spent 4 hours picking it out of a creekbed, you'll hate it too. But for this sort of thing it's a necessity. Just recycle it, ok Miss Rachel?

Wrapping paper

I (unfortunately) didn't find this cute pink paisley print, but you need wrapping paper. Your choice.

Ribbon

This ribbon is TONS cheaper than the ribbon I bought at Michael's, but at least I got mine on a discount. However, I will be purchasing ribbon off Amazon soon. Using my own links.

Back to the topic: You need ribbon. Customize it how you wish. Be it for boy/girl, nursery colors, etc. Be creative.

Mini Glue Gun

If you're crafty, it's sort of a must-have.

How-To:

First, roll the diapers from bottom to top. Use a rubberband around the middle of the diaper to hold it together. (For each diaper. Which means you'll do this 80 times (ish). Turn on the TV, it makes it go faster.)

Bind four diapers together with a rubberband to form a center base around which to build the bottom layer. Pay attention to orient each diaper the same way. If you don't want the Sesame Street characters showing the outside world, then face these inward.

For the bottom layer of the cake, you'll use three more rounds of diapers around the center base. To make it more sturdy, use a rubber band around each ring. (Which is why you get assorted sizes. See, I think of everything)

Repeat this process for each layer of the cake, but using one less ring of diapers. Your top tier (which is wrapped in green on this cake) will solely consist of the four-pack center base. You're a smart cookie, if you can't figure this out, call me and I'll happily make one for you.

Decorate as desired. In order to cover the rubberbands around each diaper, I chose to use individual bows on this cake. You can, obviously, do this in many, many different ways. Imagination, y'all.

I used flowers which I bought at the craft store (and used wire cutters to cut the blooms off of) to adorn the cake and make it look more cake-y and less crap-y. I've seen others which decorate the cake with baby supplies like pacifiers and baby powder, bibs, etc... but I thought that looked tacky. Again, this is very much an imagination based kind of project. It pieces together however you want it.

Wrap the styrofoam base with your wrapping paper. Duh.

I couldn't figure out one solid way to affix all four layers to each other, so they're simply traveling in layers and I will put them together at the party (it's my first one, be nice!).

(Author's note: Rachel... I *may* have gotten hot glue on *some* of the diapers with ribbon on them. All this really means is that Molly will have a cute little bow on her booty. But I know you're smart enough to figure it out. Or just throw the damn diaper away.)

Summer Reading List

2011-06-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend I boxed up all my books except for the few I really want to read and have high hopes of starting (or finishing) before the big move on July 9. And since everyone does Summer Reading Lists, I don't see why I should be left out of the bunch. Seeing as how I can't control myself in Half Price Books, or Barnes and Noble, and the Amazon suggestions nearly breaks my budget every single month.

A Game of Thrones, by George R.R. Martin

Some of you may know that HBO recently started a new series based on this book series, and based on how successful True Blood was, I went ahead and got these books with a gift card at BN I received for graduation. I started the first one recently, and am totally intrigued by it. It's one of those slightly intimidating series, though. The books are quite large, have small print and very thin pages, but from what I've read of the reviews... they're absolutely worth it.

Dead Reckoning, by Charlaine Harris

The newest addition in the Sookie Stackhouse series, which I read in a weekend at the beach was, as all Charlaine Harris books are, worth the wait. If you haven't read this series yet, then I insist you must, as it's a fun getaway and a quick enjoyable read. Plus, True Blood is based on it, and really, if you've seen any of the male leads for that show, you know it's got to be good.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, by Rick Riordan

I'm a little bit behind on this series, but seeing as how I don't spend any time in middle schools, and I completely missed the movie due to a fling with Harry Potter, I think I can be forgiven for the delay. Each of the Percy Jackson books is a quick read, since they're through and through "young adult" books. In fact, they can be found in the kids section at Barnes and Noble. But, they're the newest spin-off from the J.K Rowling using the ever successful structure of "we're the 3 best friends" of the boy-boy-girl variety. Add in some Greek mythology and you've got the Percy Jackson series, which, for a day at the pool, isn't such a bad thing. If you miss Harry Potter books like I do, then you'll find some appreciation for this series.

Crave, by J.R. Ward

J.R. Ward is, honestly, one of my favorite authors. I suggest reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series before you dive into the Fallen Angels series, as I only started this series as a reprieve from the former. But, the WARDen (as her fans refer to her) doesn't disappoint in the Fallen Angel series, which is still new enough for you to catch up on and get excited about the release of the third book, Envy, in August. (The first book in this series is called Covet.... see a theme?)

The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature, by Matt Ridley

So, it's not fiction, and it's not real-life crime, but it appeals to my inner science dork. Matt Ridley has written other science-based books, but this is the only one of his which I currently own. And I'll spare you the notations on the works of Richard Dawkins, so that I can tout this book. I've not read it, yet, but plan to this summer. You know, which is why it's on the Summer Reading List. Which I'm sharing with you. Because I care. The Red Queen is a look at how sex has played a role in human evolution. And come on, who isn't intrigued by that?!?

The Passage, by Justin Cronin

Deemed something along the lines of the new "Salem's Lot" by reviewers, I've had this on my Kindle waiting for me to read it for a month now. (I'm easily distracted, by awesome books.) And every time I walk through a book store and see it, I am somehow compelled to touch this book and consider buying a paperback version of it. I promise, I'll read it next on the Kindle. The sequel to this highly acclaimed book comes out sometime next year, which means I now have a timeline!

So get reading, you guys, because it's good for your brain. And later I'll do a post on movies as a less eye-straining rendition of summer time-consumers.

<3

Casey Anthony and why sociopaths are NOT the new black

2011-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

It's not only my summer obsession, it's America's summer obsession. Mostly due to the insane amount of coverage that Nancy Grace has brought to the topic over the last few years, particularly over the last few months. Caylee Anthony went missing for 31 days in June 2008 and no one reported her missing until July 2008. Her mom, Casey Anthony was out partying, boozing, and lying while her daughter's remains decayed in the trunk of her car and in the woods near her family home. (But you know, if you were a defense attorney for this case, you would have totally called out heresay on me about three times for that sentence. Thank you, cnn, for making me a layperson lawyer.)

Casey Anthony smiling during her capital murder case. Cause, you know, she's totally like, *such* a good liar, y'all.

Work has been slow lately. So. Terribly. Slow. And I usually listen to my iTunes or an audiobook while I'm working, so it only made logical sense that I trade in iTunes for cnn.com for the duration of this trial. I missed the OJ trial due to the fact that I was in 4th grade, so I'm making up for lost time here. (It should be noted that while following the Casey Anthony trial, I've read the Wikipedia article on the OJ trial as well as the Goldman family's publication of If I Did It, which you can get at that Amazon link or if you're savvy enough, you can find online in pdf format for free. The internet is funding my law education.)

Back to the trial.... it's a complete circus for those of you not yet drawn in to the mayhem. Webs of lies that make your brain spin trying to sort through them. Forensic evidence that requires hours of testimony to explain. Rock solid prosecution teams and shaky defense teams headed by shady defense attorneys. A defense opening statement filled with accusations that raise even more questions. It's so addicting.

I didn't start following the trial until about halfway through the prosecution's case, but I made it in just in time to see some testimony about skeletal remains, duct tape found on Caylee's skull and in the home, decomposition in the trunk of Casey's car, and internet searches for things like "how to make chloroform", "how to make weapons out of household items", and "neckbreaking". Then Dr. G took the stand and in the most riveting testimony ever explained why the death was a homicide, then slamming the defense attorney during cross examination. It was like a championship sports game, and it was fantastic. I sat in my office, cheering, while listening through earbuds. That was slightly embarrassing.

The defense started their testimony about a week ago, and it's all been very boring since then. Jose Baez, lead defense attorney, is a moron of astronomical proportions, who at last count had roughly three charges of contempt coming his way after this trial. And I'm not sure if he's trying to lose this case because he's realized he's in way above his head, or if he's just that narcissistic that he thinks he's doing a great job and can't tell otherwise that the entire country is mocking him.

During their opening statement, the defense claimed that Caylee's death was an accidental drowning in the family pool, and that George Anthony, the grandfather, found her and then buried her in the woods to make the death looking like a kidnapping/murder. And that Casey is such a good liar because her father and brother (George and Lee) sexually molested her while she was growing up. Which I find hard to believe, I mean, if you've been sexually abused since you were a child, wouldn't you do anything you could to get out of that house when you were 18? Instead of living there until you were 22? Don't get me wrong, that family is some sort of dysfunctional, but I don't know if I fully believe the defense statement. However, in order to back it up, then Casey will probably have to take the stand, and that will be some good watching right there.

I've watched this girl cry some alligator tears, use the same kleenex for 20 minutes, sob uncontrollably, and then have a scowl so severe it looks like she has horns. And I may not be a licensed psychotherapist, but she's a sociopath if I ever saw one.

How I really feel about what I did, y'all. Oops my bad?

Here's what I think happened: Casey met some new friends who were her age (22) that didn't have any kids, were able to go out and party, drink, and have fun. She envied this, always wanted it, and resented Caylee for it. After a fight with her mom that was the proverbial "last straw" she killed the kid, thought she could get away with a kidnapping "never found" case, and go on with her merry life. But, she's ill educated (didn't finish high school) and it all blew up in her face. Do I think she understands the full ramifications of what she's done? No. I think she's getting there as the trial proceeds, but I think she is a severe narcissist who doesn't really comprehend or understand that other people have lives and that there are those that exist outside of her. The amount of people who got drawn into this case because of her lies simply amazes me. She's absolutely, 100% guilty and I've seen nothing so far to make me think otherwise.

The prosecution. Or in other words, my new favorite TV attorneys.