Children, Books and Life Lessons

List of Failures

2010-08-28T14:24:00.002+08:00

I just finished conducting a seminar for my colleagues in the College of Business Accountancy, where I shared information and my learning on Professional Scholarly Writing in a Global Context; the difference among Plagiarism, Copyright and Fair Use; and the use of the latest APA Style, 6th ed.

What struck me most from the seminar was the audience's feedback on using sensitive language in research, and "describing participants and subjects at the appropriate level of specificity." I gave them the example of how, sadly still, in our University, we use the term "List of Failures" to publish the list of students (well, their id nos. actually) who have incurred failing grades in their subjects at the end of the semester. A more appropriate and specific term for "List of Failures" should be "List of Students who have Failed Grades".

It catalyzed a spirited discussion among us, about our almost unconscious tendency to throw words around as if they meant nothing more than what we intended to use them for the moment. I shared my own thoughts about how, when we really take time to reflect on them, a lot of the words we use are actually violent, in the sense that they contribute to a paradigm of treating people as less than the fullest human beings that they are.

I remember a time many years ago when I was still chairing a new department in our University, which was really a department formed to "catch" all the students who've been floating around, shifting from one program to another, and just aimlessly going through college. The department was euphemistically named, "Interdisciplinary Studies" (IDS), but it had the stigma of having students whom people perceived as "losers", since they got kicked out of their previous programs.

So, when I took over as chair, I was faced with the challenge of how to handle 400-plus IDS students who perceived themselves as losers and failures, with half of them put on academic probationary status for less than satisfactory grade standing. They are usually called "Probees". And when you're an IDS Probee, that's double the stigma.

Just out of curiousity, and to put a more "fun" and positive spin to the status, when I called them for meetings, instead of posting the usual "Attention IDS Probees..." in the bulletin boards, with their names listed there, I turned to using the term "Late Bloomers" to call them, still with their names listed there.

It quickly caught on among the students and they thought it was really cool and fun... and they started seeing themselves that way, as late bloomers-- they may not have bloomed yet, but will.

I should have done a formal research on that, but I was too engrossed in addressing the myriad needs of the students in the department, getting them to believe in themselves again and to get out of the ruts they have temporarily dug themselves into. After 4 years, though, the "Late Bloomer" list interestingly went down from 50% of the student population in the program to only around 15%. Coincidence?

I don't know so.

That's why I don't join (name your disease/angst) support groups. The very act of naming them there and attaching "support group" to it actually perpetuates the mentality and one's perception of one's identity as being stuck there.

Naming something is making it real.

Be careful of the names you use.

A Mom's Mothers' Day Thank You to Her Children

2010-05-09T11:39:00.002+08:00

Thank YOU, Anthea P. Manayon, Paolo P. Manayon and Beatrice P. Manayon, for helping me strive to grow into the finest human being I can be, each moment of each day.

"Everything we do and say in the presence of our children makes an impression on them. All is taken in and processed.,,, We honor our children when we acknowledge that they are fully present from the very beginning and when we offer ourselves to them in ways that model the best of what humans can be. ..."

(To read more, pls. click on the Title)

The Risk of Birth

2009-12-17T21:10:00.002+08:00

This is no time for a child to be born,
With the earth betrayed by war & hate
And a nova lighting the sky to warn
That time runs out & sun burns late.
That was no time for a child to be born,
In a land in the crushing grip of Rome;
Honour & truth were trampled by scorn—
Yet here did the Saviour make his home.
When is the time for love to be born?
The inn is full on the planet earth,
And by greed & pride the sky is torn—
Yet Love still takes the risk of birth.

- Madeleine L'Engle

God, Energy and Bea's Question

2009-09-19T20:57:00.005+08:00

i was driving to and back from Paolo's friend's house this evening, where he's been sleeping over for the 2nd night in a row now, to bring him a fresh change of clothes.

while driving on almost auto-pilot mode, i was deep inside my self, turning over in my mind all the many lessons i learned from this morning's presentation by CENECO general manager, Mr. Sulpicio Lagarde, Jr. i invited him weeks ago to speak to my Econ1 classes on electricity generation, transmission, distribution and costs and energy efficiency and sustainability, in relation to our class lessons on production and cost theory. he surpassed our expectations by also discussing concerns on global warming and the need to downscale our postmodern energy-dependent lifestyles, as well as inspired us to do something about our laws and systems to support a more sustainable and energy-renewable lifestyle.

i was particularly struck by the metaphor that hit me of the process of generation, transmission and distribution. he said that 138,000 volts from the main generator becomes converted to only 13,200 volts by the transmission line, and even further down to 230 volts when it's distributed, because of conduction resistance. and it struck me that Energy generation, transmission and distribution is like God's Spirit and Blessings--

God is the generator and He/She yearns to give us All things Good and in Abundance, but we, as transmission/distribution lines, can only take so much, because of "resistance", and so whatever Good there is flowing through us becomes diluted in more digestible form, although they are still Good, of course.

and then i remembered one lesson i learned years ago from my Silva Method readings and courses, about an elementary principle in electricity: the best conductor is the one with the least impedance/resistance.

and i thought how this is explained now by what happens when one goes regularly and deeply into meditation practice: how one gets clearer, less "impeded", thus one experiences more Good in one's life, both as a receiver and as a channel for Good too for others.

and then my youngest, 9-year-old Bea, who has been sitting quietly in the dark back seat of the car i forgot she was there, suddenly pipes up: Ma, what's the difference between a spirit and a soul? (this has happened so often already, how the kids pick up on the direction of my secret thoughts while i'm driving, that i take it as naturally as breathing now!)

and so, inhaling deeply, i gave it my best shot, responding from my heart: Spirit is that invisible part of you which is a part of God's Spirit, while Soul is that invisible part of you which is you, your personality, your emotions, your talents and likes and dislikes, 'langga (dear one).

Bea: like twins?

me: ye-esss... sort of, except that they're together, they stick together, there's just one invisible you, and part of it is Spirit and part of it is Soul.

Bea: what's our body for, then?

me: (pause)

me: we-ell... it's like our clothes, or the car we drive, to make our way in this earth. since the earth is a physical thing, then we need to be put in something physical too.

Bea: wowwww... so it's like, we go in and out of different bodies?

me: ye-eess. after we die, we go back to the lower levels of Heaven closest to the earth, and we review our life and see how we did and what lessons we learned and what lessons we didn't learn. and then, we decide what to learn next so we can improve and get closer to being more like God. the more we become like God, the higher we go up in Heaven, until someday, we are together with God again, completely, and we never have to be apart again.

Bea: so earth is like school, and Heaven, too? there are many levels?

me: yes.

Bea: so right now, i'm also made up of some dead person's spirit and soul?

me: ye-es... and that dead person before was you too.

Bea: wowwwww.... so i'm many persons?

me: yes.... in this earth, living many lives, at different times and places, like taking many subjects, until you master them all and become perfect like God.

Bea: if God made me, and God is already perfect, why didn't He make me perfect too, so i don't have to be separated from Him in the first place?

me: (long pause)

Bea: well?

me: God did make us all perfect. And He also gave us free will. So we were perfect to start with, but with our free will, we chose to do things which made us imperfect... until we learn that it really doesn't work out for us in the end when we insist on our own way...

Bea: why would i want to do imperfect things? (Bea is our perfectionist in the family.)

me: you don't think they're imperfect when you choose to do them; you think they're perfect, especially when you haven't spent time with God a lot.

Bea: ok.

me: (silent prayer: God, where is she going with all this??? Holy Spirit, help me!)

Bea: so if i don't want to do imperfect things that i thought were perfect, i should spend more time with God?

me: yes. so you will know God's Heart. and His Heart connects with your heart more strongly. and you can hear His Heart in your heart more clearly.

Bea: ok. that makes sense.

by this time, we had arrived home.

and Bea ran out to eat her newly-bought Berry Strawberry ice cream in front of the tv.

while i-- i am left with these thoughts, and shell-shocked by the experience.

whoa, where did all that come from???

getting better

2009-09-01T08:50:00.001+08:00

it still comes, this gnawing, anxious feeling that eats at me, especially when i'm "doing nothing" or not doing much in line with my To Dos and my schedules... it still comes.

but i'm getting better at dispelling it now: i know my bottomline priorities and i'm kinder, gentler to my self now.

i've also adopted the philosophy that if things can't be stuffed into one full day, despite my best efforts, then they were really not meant to be done today.

i've also come to respect and honor the flows and cycles of Life as they come-- sometimes what we think should be done ASAP might usually be better off being left alone for now and allowed to take further "cooking and stewing", in the bigger scheme of things.

and then there is my meditation practice, thank God for it! it'll be 3 years now this December, and i'm getting better at intentionally carving out time and space for my self for it, and i've found that indeed, the busier one is, the more one needs this holy solitude to ground and center one's self in.

now, it has come again, this gnawing, anxious feeling that eats at me, telling me that i should be doing something else more "productive"... but i stay here, with my self, preparing for meditation.

i have learned that when this voice comes and nags me to keep "doing", most often, it's a signal for me to stop and stay ... and learn. that there is something going on inside of me, or in the subterranean depths of my life, that i need to pay attention to... but the ego is uncomfortable, would rather escape into "activities"... yet the Soul demands complete and focused attention.

and so, i stay, despite the discomfort it brings.

and so, it still comes.

and then, it'll go, i know that much, for sure, now.

Building Futures with the IDS

2009-08-27T20:27:00.001+08:00

Aug. 27, 2009; 1:30 p.m. - It is way past my regular lunchtime, and I have just finished my last of two IDS (Interdisciplinary Studies) 109 classes since 10:30 this morning. My stomach is hungry, yet my soul is full.

IDS 109, or Futures Principles and Futures Planning, is a major subject taken by IDS students to train them in futures thinking and in applying selected futures studies methodologies. We had the start of their group scenario building presentations on their selected and approved topics today.

In previous sessions, we did group exercises on scenario-building by using prepared data from Ging Deles’ presentation on Emerging Scenarios in the Philippine Political Environment for 2010, and Al Gore’s film documentary on climate change and global warming, An Inconvenient Truth.

Scenario-building is a futures studies method used especially when the circumstances and information are dynamically-changing and one wants to get a “hold” on what is coming, so one can better prepare and take proactive action.

In our IDS 109 class, we have distilled the method down to its essence. The students are asked to build their Possible Futures (Status Quo, Worst Case and Best Case) as well as their Preferred Future on an issue, before they outline their recommendations for strategic action.

This morning, they started presenting their own full cases, researching data for their selected issues and presenting the global and Philippine situations for these issues, before they present their scenarios and recommendations for strategic action.

In the 1030am class today, they presented their scenarios on the Futures of Work, Futures of Philippine Out-of-School Youth, Futures of Relationships and the Futures of Weapons/the Arms Industry. In the 1200nn class, they presented their scenarios on the Futures of the Philippine Militant Mass Movement, the Futures of Families, and the Futures of Food Security. In the first week of classes after Midterm Exams, more groups will be presenting on such issues as the Futures of Education, Jobs, Energy, GMO Food, Drugs, Population and even Sex!

I was very impressed with the depth of analysis and the richness of the scenarios the students presented today. Setting aside certain formatting weaknesses in the order of one or two groups’ presented topics, I felt both gratified and humbled at seeing them research information from many sources, putting this often-times seemingly unrelated information together, and coming up with analyses and scenarios that are at once deep, multi-disciplinary, experientially-truthful and achingly rich and still hopeful (preferred scenarios) despite the worst possible implications they also came up with.

For instance, the Futures of Weapons/Arms Industry group (August Baniel, Jeremy Fernandez, Shaundell Ferrer, Evrel Mabugat and Raffy Remitio Jr.) pointed out how, since war is a big, global business, to effect a just and lasting peace in the world, we must also make it more “profitable” for those already engaged in war to engage in peace. They pointed out that it’s not a question of having no money to take people out of poverty, but that the money is there, and it is just used for war.

The Futures of Family group (Laura Jane Biong, Berlyn Deoric, Ruth Ordoyo, Brian Palencia and Anne Villar) pointed out how, globally and nationally, the structure and dynamics of families are changing, facing multiple demands and challenges brought about by globalization in the context of families “breaking up” because of parents’ career and job demands and transfer to urban areas, intercultural marriages, single parenting and young children basically left to parent themselves early on. In their recommendations for strategic action, they proposed family-friendly employment environments, civic and government programs for the family, and a basic family-first orientation in otherwise business and government structures and systems. They discussed how doing otherwise have very damaging impacts on everyone concerned, affecting even our economic and societal lives.

I am looking forward to Sept. 8, when the groups resume their presentations again, with some groups even telling me that they have prepared video versions of their analysis and scenarios.

For now, times like these tell me—I am so blessed in the kind of work that I do, working with these young minds and hearts, having both the opportunity of influencing them and being influenced by them, and daily being able to shape and craft unfolding futures in a more solid and tangible manner, in my constant interactions with them.

With the IDS and students like these, the future is in good hands, after all.*

Stop the BS and take it back to where it belongs-- Stop Con-Ass!

2009-06-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Bayan Ko

2009-06-05T01:09:00.001+08:00

Stop the bullshit, please, for all our children's sake!!!

Children's literature can build stronger relationships

2009-05-18T19:03:00.000+08:00

"Children's literature can be used as a tool to open the lines of communication between adults and children. Not only does reading with children create bonding experiences but also lifelong memories that promote more than literacy and allow children an outlet to investigate their emotions and questions." - ANGELA RIGGS Director Early Childhood Education Department Sullivan University Louisville

Read more here.

Talking to Kids About the Economy

2009-04-26T17:23:00.001+08:00

In many ways, on hindsight now, this is what my 2nd book, "Tight Times" (Adarna, 2007; available at National Book Store and Powerbooks) was about...

Read more here.

It's Turnoff Week for Children and Books

2009-04-24T20:18:00.002+08:00

Read more about it here.

It ought to be adopted globally.

"My One Boobed Mamma" now on Amazon and B&N!

2009-03-08T11:37:00.005+08:00

My third children's book, My One Boobed Mamma, is now on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble! Yay!

(Please click on "Amazon.com" and "Barnes and Noble" above to link to the exact pages. Thank you!)

Happy International Women's Day to all the brave and soulful women out there!

i miss the hungry years

2009-01-18T08:13:00.003+08:00

i have not written a single new story since 2005. and that last story was "My One Boobed Mamma", which was accepted for traditional publishing by Living Waters in the USA last Dec. 23, 2007, and finally published last October 2008.

i have not written a single new story since 2005. all i did was do other writing-related stuff: create my website, do research on several story ideas and make notes but they just remain notes until now, become a member of SCBWI, bought the 2008 Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Market for study (but which I haven't done so seriously and consistently until now), accept invitations to talk, present, storytell, be interviewed for newspapers and tv shows, assist my publishers in the marketing requirements of my books... all the business and networking and marketing and educational stuff, really, except the one thing that a writer does-- write.

all my stories so far published were written in those hungry years of 2003-2005, when i had just newly left my marriage, battling annulment and financial struggles, as well as work struggles chairing a department of students whom nobody else believed in but whom i was determined to build up and prove our detractors wrong, and riding on the rollercoaster of my crazy love (more like lust) lives then.

and amidst all these, i managed to write. four full-blown stories, 2 of which were nationally-awarded, 1 published internationally, and the remaining one still looking for its home but which already got the glowing review (and permission to print his review when the book is published) of the foremost peace resarcher and activist in the world-- Johan Galtung.

so, being busy now, in a good way at that, with all the fame and popularity and even little fortune, is no excuse not to write.

a writer writes, or she isn't a writer at all.

so this month alone, i've started giving notices to all my other commitments that i am ending my work with them soon, and have become more selective about the invitations i accept. i'm also blocking off my weeknights and weekends now for being with and doing the only things that matter to me most: taking the best care of my children and my self (and B)--which includes learning how to cook healthily and deliciously... and writing.

i'm going back to my hungry years.

this soul hunger demands to be fed.

children

2008-11-22T08:05:00.000+08:00

My 8-year-old Bea keeps saying lately how she wants to be the first lady President.

of the United States of America.

: ) : ) : )

***

i'm scheduled to do a volunteer storytelling session with 3-4 year-olds on Monday at the Provincial Library, whose librarian asked me to do so some weeks ago, in celebration of National Book Month.

it's strange how I'm feeling jittery and self-doubting about my ability to engage my audience, when I've been going around the country these past few years training and speaking to even thousands (1,700 has been my biggest audience so far) of older people!

there's something more special, even sacred, with having a session with 3- to 4-year-olds, i guess. they're purer, clearer, more transparent, more honest-- either you jell with them or you don't.

God help and bless me and these children! May our time together be mutually enriching and blessed!

I'm in Inquirer! : )

2008-11-08T15:00:00.001+08:00

Negrense writer goes international < (click)

"Tight Times" nominated for National Book Awards TWICE!

2008-11-05T04:05:00.004+08:00

I am honored to learn that "Tight Times" has been nominated in the Manila Critics Circle's and the National Book Development Board's National Book Awards for books published in 2007 not only once but TWICE-- for children's literature and best design.

To think that among the three stories I submitted for PBBY Salanga 2007 before, I thought "Tight Times" was the "weakest" because it required less effort from me in terms of craft, that it just flowed when written...

Hmmm... come to think of it... so did "Papa's House, Mama's House" (PBBY Salanga 2004 grand prize winner)!

***

Maybe the writing flowed in these because the effort was in the months and years of actually living them out.

"My One-Boobed Mamma" Debuts!

2008-09-23T18:51:00.003+08:00

You can pre-order it now before it gets to Amazon and the major bookstores! ;D

Please click here.

My Probe Team Interview for "Papa's House, Mama's House"

2008-09-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

It's going to be aired tomorrow (Sept. 24, Phil. time) night, at 11:30 p.m., right after Bandila! ;D

For other schedules, channels, countries--

PHILIPPINES
Wednesday, 11:30 PM on ABS-CBN (VHF Channel 2)

Thursday, 4.50 AM on ABS-CBN

Saturday, 5:30 AM on the ABS-CBN News Channel (ANC)

Sunady, 1:30 PM on the ABS-CBN News Channel (ANC)

MIDDLE EAST
Wednesday, 11:30 PM on TFC
Wednesday, 7:30 AM on TFC (replay)

EUROPE
Thursday, 9:30 AM on TFC
Saturday, 5:35 PM on TFC (replay)

NORTH AMERICA - PACIFIC TIME
Friday, 11:55 PM on TFC

NORTH AMERICA - EASTERN TIME
Thursday, 8:50 AM on TFC
Friday, 2:55 AM on TFC (replay)

AUSTRALIA
Thursday, 8:40 PM on TFC
Friday, 7:15 AM on TFC (replay)

***

Do watch and let me know how you find it, please!

My One-Boobed Mamma

2008-08-12T20:40:00.001+08:00

Happy surprise!

I found this while surfing.

I thought My One-Boobed Mamma would be released in early 2009 yet; apparently, it's coming out this August already!

The release of one's work to the public always feels like sending your firstborn out to The Big School. I guess I'll never stop feeling this way about my "creative children", aside from my flesh-and-blood creative children...

May My One-Boobed Mamma reach those who need her most, and may their lives be better from reading her.

New Tomorrows

2008-07-05T19:15:00.001+08:00

There must be more to life than blaming, complaining, dissing what's going wrong, and generally feeling like helpless victims to the events and forces acting on our lives. That is not the way I want to spend my time on this planet.

The same energies used for blaming, complaining, dissing what's going wrong, and generally feeling like helpless victims (it takes more muscles to frown than to smile!) CAN be used for focusing attention on what does go right, what one can still do, what one envisions for one's self and one's loved ones, working on building that vision, and finding like-minded, fine-spirited people who are engaging in and aiming for similar endeavors.

So, when a group of friends from the futures, education, peace and cultural work communities and I got together some weeks ago to catch up with each other and have fun again just being ourselves as well as sharing what we're trying to do in each of our individual lives, the idea of banding together specifically for putting all our vision, faith, knowledge, experience, expertise, resources and networks to good use in this direction was born.

KalayLah GLocal Network (KGN) was conceived.

"KalayLah" as a coined term for the Filipino terms, "Kalayaan ng Lahi", or freedom of the race, freedom of generations. "GLocal", for the coined term "global" as well as "local", and the implied synergy between the two spheres acting on each other as preferred futures are envisioned, created and built.

In one of our later discussions, though, the idea of extending this community further, not necessarily as part of KGN itself, but just as an online global community of people focused on enabling preferred futures was born.

So many social networks abound on the Net now, and they are mainly for self-promotion and keeping in touch as well as making new friends purposes. What if we utilize this grand (also free) resource and opportunity to harness people's attentions and energies not just to tell others about themselves or to make new friends, but to share how they think and see and what they are doing towards the future?

Imagine what can happen with this harnessed energy and potential.

At the very least, I want to be around when it happens. : )

Please check out the new global community on the web, "New Tomorrows".

"Life is queer with its twists and turns..."

2008-05-30T19:41:00.006+08:00

i remember this line now from an old poem, Don't Qui t, that Mama used to post around our "home" (the dinghy mezzanine floor above our store in the public market) while we were growing up (she liked to post a lot of quotes and poems on living life the best and noblest and highest way, despite our miserable physical surroundings...), as i am struck now by how queerly indeed my life has twisted and turned, especially in the past year.

first, i decided to take an unpaid year's leave off from university work, just to rest, relax, and follow my bliss. people thought i had lots of moolah stashed for the full 12 months ahead; they thought i was kidding when i said i was living in God's Grace month to month (i was)!

in June, a love which i thought to be The Love of My Life turned sour, but i consciously resolved not to take it like a victim and to keep my faith and hope for True Love still pure and unsullied instead... and then i met B on July 1, on his birthday!!! : )

then there was the awarding ceremony for my second national book award at the Cultural Center of the Philippines last July, and the fun radio interview out of town, which my kids enjoyed as much as i did (the radio station treated us like superstars, with our own coaster to fetch and bring us back to the hotel and wherever else we wanted to go after the interview).

after that was a children's literature conference i attended where i expected to just be a participant but ended up being like a "grand finale" speaker which got the audience very hyped up and involved.

then the U.S. visa interview with my sis, where the visa officer just asked us questions, didn't even look at the rest of the documents we brought, and then granted us 10-year multiple entry visas each!

then the fun, special bonding time with Mama in the States last Sept-Oct, where we got to relive our teenage years again and fill in the "missing link" in our lives (Mama left us when we were teenagers). we didn't know it was to be our last time with her together, but i think now that she knew all along.

then i come back here in October to have my books launched at The Negros Museum, along with the museum's Storytelling Program, in the midst of the Masskara Festival.

in December to February, both Papa and Mama got seriously sick, having to go in and out of the hospital several times, until they couldn't leave the hospital anymore. Papa was last admitted on Jan. 16, while Mama on Jan. 29. Papa died on Feb. 20, and Mama on March 10.

taking care of both, first here in Bacolod, then there in Atlanta, Georgia, was both special and surreal in itself. it was special because i discovered that one gets to forge and develop a new, adult relationship with one's parents one never had before when they were physically healthy and well. now that the tables are turned and they are dependent on you and you are taking care of them, the masks fall off, and you just relate to each other as full human beings in all your best and worst, and you find that if you just show up for them everyday anyway, just dig in there and continue to care for them the best way you can despite the arguments and the rehashing of unfinished business, the Love and Laughter remain and only grow stronger and unbreakable in the end. i would never have exchanged those last moments with Papa and Mama for all the world. it was the sublimest of benedictions.

and it was also most profoundly healing and special that both Papa and Mama just kept on asking about each other in the end. they were in each other's thoughts, even in their semi-conscious and pained states. how's that for deep Love, huh? : )

my brother, Tope, and my sister, Honey, and i-- we kid each other about our parents being Soulmates after all-- despite their stormy and tempestuous love and lives. but we also quietly know that all jokes contain a deep truth in them; we just joke about them because we could only comfortably take them in joke form; the deep truth both scare and awe us so...

yet, it was surreal, too, living in hospitals and around sick and dying people and the medical staff who also help care for them for three months, and then after that, having to deal with the business of funeral homes and cultural and social norms for the dead. it was twilight-zonish, waking up in the morning and not even able to make plans for noontime, because one never knows what happens next. after they died, it was twilight-zonish still, to find that people get so hung up about certain practices and arrangements (and money, yes, money!) and that they can even be the source of a lot of family and friends' dramatics and melodramatics.

in the midst of it all, i was asked to submit a proposal for an international conference, and found out later in April, that i received a full grant for my paper presentation proposal. so now i have been applying for my Schengen visa to Belgium, as well as preparing my paper for the conference.

in the midst of it all, too, B and i found time to be with each other, just the two of us, and it was a most special, special healing and sweet time.

then, there was the most welcome trip to New Jersey and New York, the bonding with cousins we last saw when we were children, and of course, conquering The Big Apple on our own. it was a most precious, healing gift from Tito Tony and Tita Melvi, more than they will ever know...

coming back home, i decided to beautify my home with part of the inheritance funds i received from Papa's estate. so since April, i have been living in home depots and hardware stores most times of the day. : )

now, i am looking forward to spending more special time with B again when his summer vacation starts, even as i prepare to go back to university teaching, refreshed and renewed in my zeal for the calling.

this afternoon, my publisher's staff communicated with me for a single-parenting talk they plan to do in July, a day before i leave for Belgium, and in which i have been invited to speak and share.

then i come home to find an email from Lifestyle Network who wants me to be a guest in their show! ;O

whew.

***

a friend asked me once how i was, and we both laughed when i said, "i'm mastering the art of winging it!"

but it's true. i am discovering now how life is so strange, all the best-laid intelligent plans can fall apart in a moment. no use stressing over the minutiae of the how-tos.

just focus on what brings you joy, and live more of them each moment each day. the rest, just wing it. ; )

true security is found inside, in your knowing and realization that no matter what happens, you can handle it... not really just because of you alone and the strength of character and life skills you have developed, but because somehow, you are taken care of and provided for, always, by both Seen and Unseen Friends of the heart and soul...

another friend shared with me a joke quote once, and which i find most apt now--

Life is short. Don't make it shorter!

: ) : ) : )

On Writing

2008-05-25T22:11:00.000+08:00

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life. It has nothing to do with - I've got to get another play ~ Neil Simon

Raising Caring Kids

2008-05-24T09:16:00.002+08:00

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.

-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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The Invisible Mother

2008-04-18T23:31:00.003+08:00

I got this as a forwarded email from a friend and fellow mother. This is beautiful and makes a ton of sense. To all the wonderful mothers out there!

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It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

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The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

$26 million might be taken away from children's reading

2008-04-11T15:20:00.003+08:00

From Carol H. Rasco, president and CEO, of Reading Is Fundamental (RIF):

President Bush’s proposed budget calling for the elimination of Reading Is Fundamental’s (RIF) Inexpensive Book Distribution program would be devastating to the 4.6 million children and their families who receive free books and reading encouragement from RIF programs at nearly 20,000 locations throughout the U.S.

Unless Congress reinstates $26 million in funding for this program, RIF will not be able to distribute 16 million books annually to the nation’s youngest and most at-risk children. RIF programs in schools, childcare centers, migrant programs, military bases, and other locations serve children from low-income families, children with disabilities, foster and homeless children, and children without access to libraries.

To find out how you can help, please visit:
http://www.rif.org/get-involved/advocate/what/

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