DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Bachmann Tea Party Signs

Diana — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:29:27 +0000

HuffPo has culled together the ~~best-spelled~~ worst of the worst protest signs from Michele Bachmann’s Tea Party yesterday, which was designed to “scare members of Congress” into voting against healthcare reform.

Our top three:

We share this country with jackholes that see no difference between a viable public health insurance option, an environment in which tens of millions of people were politically purged, and genocide.

We’re no Congresswomen, but that’s fucking scary as shit to us.

[HuffPo: Michele Bachmann Tells Supporters to "Scare Congress" At Protest]

ROPID: Cuter Than A Baby Prawn

Diana — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:25:54 +0000

Meet Ropid (Rapid + Robot), a new robot just unveiled by scientists in Japan that jumps, responds to directions…

…and is about 10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your obnoxious little cousin with 1 year of ballet and 4 years of piano lessons under her belt, who your aunt dresses up in stupid party dresses every time there’s the teeniest, mundane family function going on–who she will HUSH AN ENTIRE ROOM FOR (sometimes even an NBA Playoff game) so that the little fucker can sing a song and dance it out, then follow with an encore presentasian of a plunked-out, shitty Sonatina on the piano.

10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your cuz. And you can turn it off.

[BBC News: Jumping Robot An 'Entertainer']

Thanks, Jasmine!

Red Cliff Giveaway!!! Follow Us And Prosper

Diana — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:46:54 +0000

John Woo’s new film, Red Cliff, is now available on VOD, Amazon and XBOX Live and will open in theaters starting November 18, 2009. Red Cliff is film #3 in Magnet Releasing’s Six Shooter Film Series 2, and looks so awesome.

View the trailer here:

We are partnering with Magnet for a contest to offer a sweet prize package that includes: a full size RED CLIFF poster signed by John Woo (!!!) and the Magnet/Magnolia DVDs EXILED, CHOCOLATE and DYNAMITE WARRIOR.

You’d be stupid not to want this. And entering the contest is easy!

Follow @disgrasian on Twitter and post a tweet with the hashtag #redcliffdisgrasian. If a friend suggested that you enter the contest, include their @handle, and they’ll be entered too.

All entries will be collected on Friday, November 13 at 12pm PST, and entered into a hat. Intern Jasmine will then pick the winner out of the hat on Friday, November 13 at 12:30pm PST, after which we’ll post the winner here and on Twitter!

Sorry guys, but entrants must live in the U.S.

GOOD LUCK!

[@disgrasian on Twitter]

[Red Cliff: Official Trailer]

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Johnny Damon

Jen — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:58:03 +0000

Wishing Johnny Damon a happy birthday is total fucking overkill. We refuse to do it. Here’s why:

Johnny Damon and Joba the Hutt Chamberlain celebrate the New York Yankees’ 27th World Series title

Imagine you’re Johnny Damon. You wake up today, and it’s your 36th birthday. You’re hungover, no, scratch that, you’re still drunk from the night before, because you raged into the wee hours after winning the World Series. Not your first World Series, mind you, but your second…in five years. Would it be gauche to wear both rings at once, you wonder, sleepily, drunkenly, grinning at the irony of your World Series ring won with the Red Sox and your World Series ring won with the Yankees glinting side by side on your knuckles. (You’re pretty stoked that you know what “irony” is, too. Well, sorta, but you wouldn’t want to have to put it in, like, actual words.)

But who needs words when your cleats are going to Cooperstown?

And despite having had some money tied up with a Ponzi schemer earlier this year, you’ve somehow emerged from that financially unscathed and are still a multimillionaire, unlike all of those unlucky New Yorkers who invested with that other guy, whatshisface, Ma– Ma– Mad-dow or something?

Oh, and your wife just blew you to start your birthday off right. Now she’s making you steak and eggs over easy before she blows you again.

Sweeeeeeet. Blowjobs rule.

[AP: Matsui bat, Damon spikes headed to Hall of Fame]

[NY Daily News: Johnny Damon limps off, hopes New York Yankee career isn't on last legs]

Asian Foods Hate Jeremy Piven

Jen — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:19:38 +0000

First, sushi and Chinese herbs tried to poison Jeremy Piven, forcing the Entourage actor to drop out of David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow last December.

Then, the 44 year-old was photographed in Malibu with full-on man boobage this September, which he recently blamed on a 12 cups-a-day soy milk habit.

Oh, Asian Foods. Why do you hate the Pivert so?

Source

Thanks, Gary!

Lifestyle Asiaphile

Jen — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:49:11 +0000

A person who fetishizes Asian dress, food, religion, and/or culture, often to the detriment of his/her own health and that of others. Example: Jeremy Piven.

Grace Park Single-Handedly Saves The Baby Seals

Jen — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:30:45 +0000

You don’t have to be a bleeding-heart emo vegan with a hard-on for Natalie Portman to think that killing baby seals for their fur is one of the sickest forms of animal cruelty around. But after seeing PETA’s new celebrity ad campaign to end seal slaughter in Canada and some of the douche applicators in it…

…I kinda wanted to club a baby seal to death.

Then I noticed Grace Park took part in the campaign, too, and I thought, “Damn, baby seals, this must be your lucky day.”

[PETA.org: Save the Seals]

Hideki Matsui Is The First Japanese-Born World Series MVP

Jen — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:13:09 +0000

Congratulasians to Hideki Matsui, who was named World Series MVP after the Yankees finished off the Phillies, 7-3, in six Wednesday. Matsui, whose nickname is “Godzilla” in Japan, had a monster night in the Series clincher–he homered, doubled, and singled while tying the record for most RBI (6) in a World Series game. The 35 year-old hit .615 in the Series overall.

Matsui is the first Japanese-born baseball player to receive the Most Valuable Player honor and described Wednesday night as “the best moment of my life right now.” It also may have been his last moment as a Yankee, since he’s reached the end of a four year-contract with the team.

So what’s next for the Japanese outfielder/DH?

Getting a centaur self-portrait put above his bed like his teammate A-Rod…obvs!

[AP: Matsui mashes his way to World Series MVP]

[awesomely grotesque centaur photo via Deadspin]

President Obama’s Half-Brother May Be An Opportunist… But He’s Also, Like, Chinese!

Diana — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:03:02 +0000

Does it make us squirm a little to learn that President Obama’s half-brother has conveniently adopted his father’s last name, just in time to promote his semi-autobiographical book about the dad he shares with our President? Yes.

Mark Obama Ndesandjo, President Obama's half-brother, promoting his new book in China

But does the thought of another adorable, amazian munchkin visiting Uncle Barack in the White House someday make us squeal, a lot? YUP.

[AFP: Obama's Half-brother Speaks Of Their Abusive Father]

Source

Top 5 Things That Maine Should Be Ashamed Of

Diana — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:31:18 +0000

5. Lewiston, Maine

4. Those asshole lobsters

3. Really cold winters

2. Super lame self-referential terms like “Mainers” and “Maine-iacs”

1. November 3, 2009, the day Maine voters rejected a state law that would allow same-sex couples to marry, just six months after the measure was passed by state legislature and signed by the governor.

Um… can somebody say, “EPIC FAIL, YOU DUMBASS MAINE-IACS?”

[ABC News: Maine Gay Marriage Law Repealed]

Source
Thanks, KP!