One Thousand Words

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2014-05-10T21:04:00.000+02:00

The Merchants [Short Fiction]

2014-02-08T19:58:00.002+02:00

I am still without internet (and consequently: without hope). And yet my blog lives on! This piece was inspired by some very interesting religious occurrences in my life recently. Religious people eh? I hope this strikes a chord in someone (anyone really). If not: may you at least be entertained.
-Imran

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Image is the Property of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

[CURTAIN LIFTS. A DESERT. A MARKETPLACE ON A WARM DUSTY MORNING. SANDSTONE HOUSING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

[A MAN WALKS IN (CM) HE IS AGED AND FATHERLY-LOOKING AND CLAD IN A BLACK PRIEST’S ROBE. HE WEARS SANDALS ON HIS FEET, A GOLDEN CROSS HANGS FROM HIS NECK. HE IS OF ABOVE AVERAGE HEIGHT, WEEDY-LOOKING, WEARS GLASSES, HAS BROWN HAIR AND HIS HAIRLINE IS BEGINNING TO RECEDE. HE SETS UP A SIMPLE MERCHANT’S STAND ON THE RIGHT AND STANDS BEHIND IT. THE BANNER READS: “CHRISTIANITY: LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART. SIGNUPS OPEN ALL DAY”.]

[ANOTHER MAN ENTERS (MM) AND BEGINS SETTING UP A STAND ON THE LEFT. HE IS IN CONTRAST TO THE FIRST. HE IS BROWN-SKINNED WITH A WHITE TURBAN ON HIS HEAD AND WEARS WHITE LOOSE-FITTING CLOTHING, A KURTAH. HE HAS A PUFFY BLACK BEARD COVERING THE LOWER HALF OF HIS FACE AND HAS A LARGE NOSE. HE SETS UP ON THE LEFT. THE TWO TALK AS HE SETS UP HIS STAND.]

Muslim Merchant: Fine day we are having.

Christian Merchant: Indeed it is. The good Lord has blessed us with a most beautiful sunrise.

MM: Indeed.

CM: You are setting up your stall here?

MM: I am.

[MM BACKS AWAY FROM THE STALL AND ADMIRES IT. THE BANNER READS: “ISLAM: THE ONE TRUE RELIGION. SIGNUPS OPEN ALL DAY.”]

CM: Wouldn’t you rather maybe… go set up some place else?

MM: Nope. I like it here. There’s a nice breeze coming in.

CM: You have set up your stall in direct opposition to mine.

MM: That’s one way to see it.

CM: That is the only way I can see it.

MM: This doesn’t surprise me.

CM: I suppose this makes us, ahem, competitors… as it were.

MM: Someone has to prevent the people who pass here from going astray.

CM: Yes indeed someone has to. It would be a shame if someone were to pass from here without accepting Christ into their heart.

MM: We will see if that is the case. I am sure that when people pass, they will understand what is truth and what is falsehood.

CM: I am sure of that as well.

MM: Good for you.

CM: Good.

[THEY WAIT. MM TWIRLS HIS FINGERS THROUGH HIS BEARD. CM FIDDLES WITH HIS CROSS]

[A PEDESTRIAN WALKS PAST]

MM: Join Islam, the one true religion!

CM: Join Christianity, follow the Lord and Savior of humanity!

[THE PEDESTRIAN WALKS OFF AND IGNORES THEM.]

[ANOTHER PEDESTRIAN WALKS PAST]

CM: Accept Christ into your heart and be free of sin! Sign-ups open!

MM: Follow the true word of God as revealed by Muhammad! Sign-ups open all day!

[THE SECOND PEDESTRIAN ALSO WALKS OFF. THE MERCHANTS TRADE DIRTY LOOKS]

[A THIRD PEDESTRIAN ENTERS. THE MM RUNS UP TO HIM AND BEGINS YELLING]

MM: A great punishment awaits those who turn their back on The Most Kind, The Most Merciful.

[THE THIRD PEDESTRIAN RUNS OFF, PANIC-STRICKEN]

CM: You’re scaring them all away.

MM: Perhaps if you have a problem you should move your stall.

CM: I was here before you.

MM: That doesn’t mean you own the place.

[MM GOES BACK TO HIS STALL AND THE TWO WAIT AGAIN]

[A FOUTH PEDESTRIAN (P4) WALKS PAST]

CM: Christianity! A religion for all times and all peoples!

MM: Islam! A religion untainted by the fictions of men!

[P4 WALKS UP TO THE ISLAMIC STAND. MM BEAMS. CM SCOWLS AND GIVES A DIRTY LOOK]

P4: Is this where I can enquire about the last revelation from God?

MM: Right this way sir! Islam: the religion of peace based on the one true Book of God as revealed by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

P4: I’ve been thinking about becoming a believer.

MM: Well then you’ve come to the right place! Islam is the latest and the greatest way to glorify the one true God. It’s hip, it’s cool, it’s the fastest growing religion in the world!

CM: *cough* that’s only because it was so small to begin with.

MM: I have all the different varieties available for your viewing pleasure.

[P4 STARES SPEECHLESS AT THE FAST-TALKING MERCHANT]

MM: There’s Sunni Islam, a very popular choice. It’s well-developed, globally recognized, travels well and has a huge following. Very simple and can be adapted to your everyday needs. But of course there are other variations too, so many to choose from. There is, of course, the Shia variant. Quite popular in some parts of the world as well, but perhaps not always looked upon favourably by the other sects. Just between you and me, maybe stay clear of that one for now hey?

[P4 Nods]

MM: And of course we have many other more advanced variants that you might be interested in. There’s Sufism. Another very popular choice. Very esoteric, very spiritual, but very powerful. But maybe for more advanced users. You seem like a beginner so maybe leave Sufism for now, you can always upgrade to it later. Oh and you can also go Wahabi, Salafi, Ahmadi, really the choice is infinite. It’s all in the brochure here.

[MM HANDS P4 A BROCHURE]

P4: Do you maybe have a recommendation. I’m really not sure where to start.

MM: *puts hand on chin* hmm, maybe go Sunni. Very compatible with most lifestyles, you can’t really go wrong with it.

P4: I think I’ll do that. Become Sunni.

MM: Sunni Islam comes in 4 different varieties: Hanafi, Shafi, Maliki and Ghambali.

[P4 OPENS HIS MOUTH BUT SAYS NOTHING. HE IS CLEARLY OVERWHELMED]

MM: Go with Hanafi. Very basic. You can always switch later.

[P4 nods]

MM: *Extends contract* Just sign here. And here. And here. Very good! Now take these books, give them a read and enjoy your ticket to Paradise my friend!

[MM SLAPS P4 ON THE BACK. P4 WALKS AWAY WITH A STACK OF BOOKS, LOOKING VERY FLUSTERED. CM SNEERS AT HIM PAST HIS SPECTACLES]

CM: There goes another lost soul for the Hellfire.

MM: *smirks* from where I’m standing, I see only one lost soul for the Hellfire, my deluded friend.

[MORE PEDESTRIANS WALK UP AND DOWN PAST THE STANDS]

CM: The Son of God calls to you, will you not listen?

MM: Paradise awaits those who accept the truth!

[PEDESTRIANS CONTINUE TO WALK PAST IGNORING THE TWO]

CM: You there!

[A PEDESTRIAN (P5) STOPS]

P5: Me?

CM: Yes you, sir! Will you not heed the words of the Son of God?

P5: Uh.

CM: Come over here. Yes, don’t be shy, come over here.

[P5 WALKS OVER TIMIDLY]

CM: Are you interested in finding God, my son?

P5: I guess…

CM: Well then trust me, you don’t want to mess with all this new-fangled stuff like Buddhism and the Baha’i Faith. You want old, you want reliable, Christianity is the original monotheic religion.

MM: *coughs* Judaism.

CM: Like I was saying. Christianity is the one true monotheic religion. It’s 2000 years old, it’s tried and tested, and it comes straight from the Son of God himself. Even the Muslims acknowledge Jesus.

MM: Not like you infidels do.

P5: If its 2000 years old, wouldn’t it be obsolete?

MM: He he he

CM: Obsolete? Heavens no! Christianity has kept up with the times. It has grown, it has evolved. I was just trying to explain that it’s proven to work, you see. But obsolete? No, no, no my friend, it’s reliable. It’s stood the test of time. It’s an eternal classic. Like Coke. You like Coke, don’t you?

P5: I do like Coke.

CM: Of course you do, my good man. Now Christianity is like Coke. It’s not like all these watered-down new-age religions, Christianity is solid stuff. And it’s not outdated, it’s changed with the times. Most Christians even accept having sex before marriage nowadays. I’d like to see you find an Imam that will allow that!

P5: Wow that does sound pretty attractive.

MM: *Hmph*

CM: And five prayers a day? No pork? Forget that! Who wants to live a life without bacon? I mean those turban-heads don’t know what they’re missing, am I right? Trust me son, Christianity is the religion for you. Want to hear the central tenet? You’re going to love this.

P5: *Getting excited* Sure.

CM: ALL of your sins have already been forgiven. Guaranteed Heaven. No muss, no fuss, no messing around with good deeds and bad deeds and all that jazz. Just accept Jesus into your heart and you’re on the road to blissful Eternity.

P5: Where do I sign!?

CM: Well first you need to decide on a package. Let me show you what’s on offer.

P5: Ok, sure.

CM: Ok so we’ve got the classics, the old favourites: Protestant and Catholic. Catholic in particular comes in two varieties: Roman and Irish. Catholicism can be a little heavy going for beginners but, on the upside, it has a long history and you get the satisfaction of knowing that the Pope is watching over you. You look like a man who needs some structure. Catholicism will work for someone who likes rules, for some who likes being told what to do-

P5: Actually I like to think for my-

CM: *Interrupts P5 by talking fast* but of course, not everyone likes to live by so many rules. There’s also Baptism. Very popular choice, very friendly people, the Baptists. And if you ever want to wash away your sins, there’s no need for all that long-winded confession business. So formal and stodgy the Catholics can be eh? With Baptism you just need to go down to the river and wash it all away. Heck, even a shower will do. Very literal people, the Baptists, got to love ‘em.

P5: It sounds interesting. But what else do you have.

CM: Well really Christianity is so open-ended that you can pick your poison. There’s so much freedom of choice. There’s Methodist, Anglican, Orthodox, The Latter Day Saints, Pentecostalism, Calvinism, the list goes on!

P5: I’m actually looking for something new. Something a bit more modern.

CM: Oh, modern we have. Really. There’s Jehovah’s Witnesses, the 7^th Day Adventists. We’ve got some really out-there packages. Religions that will really set you apart from the pack.

MM: Hey if you want new and modern you should come over here. Christianity is old hat, Islam is the new and improved version.

CM: Don’t listen to him.

MM: It’s true, we came afterwards. Muhammad came nearly 600 years after Jesus, 600 years of development and progress. Everything they built, we’ve improved on. It’s like buying a Mac or buying a PC. Tell me, what would you rather go for?

CM: *Gets up close to P5* Listen, do you want to grow a beard and cover your wife up so much that you can’t distinguish her from a clothing rack?

MM: *Gets close to P5 as well* The Pope touches little boys. Do you really want to be part of an organisation that endorses that?

CM: It wasn’t the Pope and we don’t endorse it!

MM: And the Christians can’t do Math. What’s up with the Trinity? How does 1 + 1 + 1 = 3? And if God has a Son and the Son is also God, then God is his own son. So who’s the mother? They’ve got no sense in those heads of theirs. The Pope goes around telling people to live humbly and he wears a solid gold hat.

CM: Well Muhammad was a paedophile! He married an 8-year old girl. Those Moslems don’t tell you that one now do they?

MM: Because it’s not true. The Hadith clearly says that-

CM: And what about all those wars Muhammad waged? Quite bloodthirsty he was, wasn’t he?

MM: Bloodthirsty? What about all those Protestant-Catholic wars? And the Crusades? Christians have killed more Christians than any other religion has killed Christians!

CM: That was in the past. We have evolved now!

MM: Evolved to touching little boys!

CM: Better that than suicide-bombing you beard-wearing terrorist!

MM: Come at me you celibate old fart!

[THE CM DIVES AT THE MM AND THE TWO ARE CAUGHT IN A SCUFFLE. THEY ROLL UP AND DOWN THE DUSTY FLOOR FIGHTING QUITE INANELY. P5 LOOKS ON IN HORROR AND SLOWLY EDGES AWAY]

[A NEW PERSON ENTERS THE STAGE, THE SHADY DUDE (SD). HE IS TALL WITH CLOSE-CROPPED HAIR AND IS WEARING A BROWN BULKY TRENCHCOAT. HIS EYES ARE HIDDEN BEHIND SUNGLASSES. THE TWO MERCHANTS CONTINUE FIGHTING]

SD: Psst. You there.

P5: Who? Me?

SD: Yes you. Come over here.

[P5 WALKS OVER TO SD BY THE CORNER]

SD: I’ve got some Education over here if you’re interested. Books, DVDS, Audio CDs, you name it. Got some Philosophy, some Mathematics, some Science, some Literature. I’ve even got some Medicine. Here take some Newton and Shakespeare to get you started *pulls out books from his trench-coat and hands them over*. My business card is in the book. Call me when you’re ready.

P5: *nods nervously* Thanks. I’ll take a look *walks off hurriedly*

[SD SLINKS BACK INTO THE SHADOWS]

[MM AND CM FINALLY STOP FIGHTING. THE TWO ARE COVERED HEAD TO TOE IN BRUISES AND DUST]

CM: Look at what you’ve done you barbarian, you’ve scared him away.

First Day at Work [Short Fiction]

2014-02-01T21:15:00.000+02:00

I'm not dead yet. I live in a new place with a new person in a new life but I'm still writing. This particular piece was written two weeks ago on my first day at work and since then I've been reading and writing like a machine. At present a severe lack of internet hamstrings my online presence, but come back every Saturday and I'll have a pretty picture for you to look at. Who knows, perhaps you'll even honour me by reading the words.
-Imran

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Image is the property of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hi, my name is Fred. Hi guys. Fred is an Actuary. Actually. I do Actuarial things. I Actuarialize things. I speak Actuarialese.

But actually I’m more of a performer. I perform. I entertain. Are you entertained? Some sorcerers can make a dove disappear right in front of your eyes. I punch numbers into a computer and blow your mind. “How did he do that?” He he he. A good magician never reveals his secrets.

Smile, smile, “Hi”, “Hi”, “Nice to meet you”, “Nice to meet you too”. Rinse, repeat, round and round the roulette. New faces, new places and new spaces.

Ethics: do you have them?

Today my boss told me that we’re all just cogs in a machine. Sorry boss, we’re all just machines, together we make a cog.

Meet the Gregs.

There’s a guy on my floor who earns enough to buy a new BMW each month. Taking annual bonuses into account, he earns three times that amount. There’s a janitor downstairs who’s been working here for 40 years and doesn’t earn half as much as I do.

Welcome to the Corporate World.

Enjoy your stay

The Yellow World by Albert Espinosa [Book Thoughts]

2013-12-21T12:37:00.000+02:00

I gained very little from The Yellow World. I respect Espinosa's experiences but his book is unfocused and doesn't do them justice.
-Imran

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The Yellow World by Albert Espinosa

Albert Espinosa was educated as an engineer but is more renowned as a Spanish screenwriter. He's also known for surviving a 10-year battle with cancer which cost him a leg, a lung and a chunk of his liver. Not wanting to write a book directly about his experiences surviving cancer, he instead chose to write The Yellow World, originally published in Spanish as El Mundo Amarillo, a book which pretty much details his experiences surviving cancer anyway.

It's hard to define exactly what The Yellow World is about. In the prologue Espinosa explains that he feels an affinity for the colour yellow and that the 'Yellow World' is a way of seeing things and approaching life differently. But 70 pages in and I still could not figure out the crux of this 'yellow' world-view. The problem is that this book is exactly what Espinosa says it's not. He that it's not about his battle with cancer but every second page deals with his cancer experience and he claims it's not a self-help book but the pages are littered with advice and suggestions on how to live. In fact, the majority of the book is made up of 23 self-help-style 'lessons' that Espinosa learnt from his experience with cancer. Although calling them 'lessons' is a bit misleading; they're more like anecdotes and many of them are so subjective and personal that they're hard to fully appreciate. It's like of a sequence of "you had to have been there" moments; only you weren't there.

In truth, I only got as far 70 pages of the 200 book before giving up because I didn't feel I was gaining anything and it was arduous to continue. Perhaps it's told better in Spanish but, in the English version, Espinosa is not a natural storyteller. I just couldn't find myself getting caught in the narrative of each short chapter and I found the language to be colloquial to the point of sounding dopey ("I think X is cool"). There just wasn't much going on in the pages other than some guy with a life-altering experience talking about himself. It actually reads far more like a series of diary entries than a structured book; it even has that 'first draft' roughness to it.

I have the utmost respect for Espinosa's hardships and for his successes after his recovery but the description of his experience is so difficult to relate to. He starts off by saying that he associates cancer with happiness but the dreamy way he describes things comes across as outlandish. Perhaps to him it makes perfect sense but a writer needs to work a bit harder than "Cancer wasn't so bad" to make an audience understand such an unusual viewpoint.

In the end, I have to say I gained very little from The Yellow World. I respect Espinosa's experiences but his book is unfocused and doesn't do them justice.

See you next week

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde [Book Thoughts]

2013-12-14T11:37:00.002+02:00

In conclusion, The Importance of Being Earnest is a clever little play that’s bound to cause more than a few laughs. It does, however, sacrifice depth to stay light and charming.
-Imran

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The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

Before Oscar Wilde wrote his only novel The Picture of Dorian Gray (click here for review), he made his name as a playwright having written several plays as well as a short story or poem here and there. The Importance of Being Earnest is his last completed play (two unfinished plays were published posthumously) published in 1895 and considered to be one of his best.

In The Importance of Being Earnest, Wilde does he loves best: make fun of the Victorian nobility. It chronicles John Worthing, adopted son of an English Nobleman and guardian to his adopted niece Cecily Cardew. In order to enjoy the good life in London while also remaining a role model to Cecily, John invents the fictional character of Ernest, his wicked brother. While in London, John pretends to be Ernest and catches up to mischief and while in the countryside with Cecily, he lives as upstanding gentleman John and complains about all the trouble his ‘brother’ causes him. This is until he falls in love with a noblewoman in London and proposes to her as Ernest Worthing. Meanwhile, his mischievous friend Algernon heads out to the countryside and also pretends to be John’s ‘brother’: Ernest. Which starts out as a joke until Algernon falls in love with Cecily and proposes to her, also as Ernest Worthing.

So you can see the conundrum here: you have two noblewomen both engaged to Ernest Worthing, a man who doesn't actually exist, and two people pretending to be him. What follows is a classic Shakespearean-style comedy full of Wilde’s trademark wit.

The Importance of Being Earnest is as funny it sounds. While there are a few sub-plots and plenty of Wilde’s sardonic commentary sprinkled throughout the play, there’s no moral lesson or deeper insight that we usually find in a play of this nature. To me this isn't much of a problem; it keeps the play light and neat without demanding too much from the audience. It's certainly lighter than his other plays so if you were expecting something a bit meatier from Wilde you might be disappointed.

That being said, the play does have a few interesting themes, many of which it shares with The Picture of Dorian Gray (which came next). Both John Worthing and Dorian Gray lead double lives to maintain their social standing and both Algernon and Lord Henry provide mocking commentary on Victorian society; ironically, Wilde too led a double life (as a homosexual) and was a known mocker of Victorian society. Although Earnest and Dorian are polar opposites in tone – the former being bright and sunny and the latter being dark as sin – when read together, the two help to explore Wilde’s theme of the hypocrisy and shallowness of Victorian society in the late 1800s.

In conclusion, The Importance of Being Earnest is a clever little play that’s bound to cause more than a few laughs. However, it does sacrifice depth to stay light and charming.

See you next week

David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell [Book Thoughts]

2013-12-07T13:33:00.001+02:00

You’ll have to forgive Gladwell’s dodgy statistics and research methods but David and Goliath is a well-presented entertaining read even if it might not teach you much.
-Imran

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David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell has been a writer for the New Yorker since 1996 and he’s got four best-sellers to his name including Blink and Outliers. He's known for using research and case studies to present alternate points of view, but he’s equally notorious for his dodgy use of statistics, leap-of-faith logic and broad generalizations. David and Goliath is his latest book subtitled Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants.

David and Goliath is standard Gladwell fare. He analyses a series of cases linked by some broad underlying theme and then presents his insights while backing them up with research and reasoning. The theme this time is how we misevaluate the factors that contribute to success in conflicts and social problems, but that doesn't make for a good subtitle so Underdogs it is. The book starts with the biblical story of David and Goliath and right off the bat Gladwell is doing what he does best. He argues that we’we've got it wrong when we think of David as an underdog and that Goliath actually had no chance of winning at all. He then presents ‘evidence’ that Goliath was suffering from acromegaly which impaired his eyesight and… yeah, standard Gladwell fare.

It can be hard to see if you’re not familiar with research methods but Gladwell is often guilty of abusing small samples and jumping to conclusions if they support his arguments. You’re going to have leave your rigour at the door and not treat his arguments as serious research if you want to enjoy this book.

And if you manage to do that, you’ll find that Malcolm Gladwell is a brilliant storyteller. Each chapter focuses on a few individuals and Gladwell tells their stories in way that makes you understand them and relate to them. There are case studies of class size in the school system, of battling crime with harsh punishment, of the Protestant-Catholic conflicts in Northern Ireland. It’s all interesting subject matter and it’s all presented well. Gladwell draws conclusions such as that large armies have disadvantages or that acts of terror can actually unite people rather than strike fear in them. Many seem obvious (and probably are) but they’re presented in a compelling way.

If you’re a Gladwell fan you’you've probably bought this already and if you’re a Gladwell-hater you've probably bought it too. If you’re neither of these things then it all depends on what you want to get out of the book. If you’re looking for serious study into the subject of underdogs you’re going to be left wanting. Gladwell’s cases bare resemblance to those of Ariely, Kahneman and Taleb although if you've read those, you probably won’t learn too much from this. But I suppose if you’re looking for some light and entertaining reading then David and Goliath certainly provides that.

You’ll have to forgive Gladwell’s dodgy statistics and research methods but David and Goliath is a well-presented entertaining read even if it might not teach you much.

See you next week

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett [Book Thoughts]

2013-12-01T11:59:00.000+02:00

If you want to wrestle with something that’s strange and ambiguous then Waiting for Godot might be worth a try but no promises that you’ll enjoy it or even find any merit in it.
-Imran

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Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

Samuel Beckett is an Irish-born English and French author who first published Waiting for Godot in French in 1953. While his career is full of novels, Waiting for Godot is possibly his most famous work having sparked numerous controversies, debates and interpretations over the years. It’s subtitled as ‘a tragicomedy in two acts’ and has previously been described by critic Vivien Mercer as a play in which ‘nothing happens, twice’. After reading it myself, I don’t think I disagree with this too much.

Waiting for Godot tells the story of two apparently-homeless men, Estragon and Vladimir, as they stand around a tree and literally… wait for Godot. Why they’re waiting for Mr Godot or who he is left unanswered but in the context of the play it barely even seems important. There’s a possibly senile man named Pozzo, and his manservant Lucky, that comes by now and then and a boy from Mr Godot who briefly relays messages but that’s pretty much all there is to it. Just two homeless men waiting around a tree and talking for 90 pages. Waiting for Godot is characterized by a complete lack of plot, sequence or narrative and perhaps this is what makes it unique.

Because there’s no denying that it is unique; I can’t say that I've read anything before that even closely resembles it. The dialogue has a peculiar styling to it and the characters all behave and speak in a bizarre way, as though they’re all suffering from brain damage. Indeed, they barely seem to remember anything that happens to them, which contributes to the strange dreamlike atmosphere that the play has.

You might think that a play which is almost entirely focused on the interaction between two characters might be full of deep conversation but one could hardly call the dialogue in Godot profound. For most of the play, Estragon and Vladimir are concerned with mundane activities such as trying to get Estragon’s boots off or swapping hats. The dialogue, and also the play itself, is full of small and large repetitions which, combined with the fact that the play literally goes nowhere, gave me the impression that I was reading something that resembled Escher’s Stairway.

Escher's stairway is an optical illusion that seems to be going up but is actually going nowhere

Many have tried to interpret the play and what it all means over the years and some have tried to find existentialist, philosophical or psychological narratives in the dialogue. For me, you really have to dig deep and make assumptions if you’re trying to draw out that kind of interpretation, which may lead to the ‘Blue Curtain problem’ (see below). To me, no particular subtext really jumps out. The play is ambiguous and dreamlike and part of me wonders if it literally is just about two guys waiting for someone who’s never going to come.

The Blue Curtain Problem

In conclusion, Godot is a short read, it feels unique and may give you something to think about. But it’s not the kind of thing I’d say I enjoyed reading. I didn’t dislike it but it’s another one of those books that I’m glad to ‘have read’.

If you want to wrestle with something that’s strange and ambiguous then Waiting for Godot might be worth a try but no promises that you’ll enjoy it or even find any merit in it.

See you next week

Civilization and its Discontents by Sigmund Freud [Book Thoughts]

2013-11-23T13:02:00.001+02:00

A bit complex as an introduction to Freud but Civilization and its Discontents is a great look into his theories.

-Imran

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Civilization and its Discontents by Sigmund Freud

You can't really go too deeply into psychology without running into Sigmund Freud. While he's commonly known to first year Psych students as 'that perverted old man', Freud is one of the most influential figures in psychology in the last 100 years, having founded psychoanalysis. Civilization and its Discontents is one of his later works, coming 30 years after his The Interpretation of Dreams introduced his theory of the unconscious mind. Civilization is an 8-part, 105 page essay in which Freud talks about what he believes to be the psychological origins of civilization as well its costs and benefits.

Freud's theories in Civilization are underlined by his theory of the unconscious mind i.e. that human behaviour is driven largely by subconscious desires rather than by active thought. These desires manifest in the form of 'drives' such as the drive to eat and drink as well as for other forms of self-gratification. Freud believes that civilization (i.e. people living together in large communal groups) acts largely to restrict many of the drives which, in turn, has adverse consequences on the psych. For instance with males, the 'animalistic' part of our nature may want to procreate with everything in sight but civilization restricts sexual behaviour to committed relationships between two people by looking down on those that indulge their desires freely.

Freud also suggests that humans may have an innate 'destruction' drive, a need to destroy, which manifests itself in the form of aggression. Again, since civilization restricts outward displays of aggression, Freud believes that this aggression manifests itself in other ways. Depending on one's upbringing it can manifest outwardly as anger towards one's parents or inwardly as a self-punishing conscious when we break society's laws.

The above two examples are just a few of the key points that Freud touches on in his essay. He also veers off into discussions about religion, sexuality, and the relationship between the super-ego and the conscience. While the book does take a bit of time to get into, it rewards with the depths of Freud's insights. However, I do feel that I would have appreciated it more had I had more background to Freud's work and his theories.

While the writing is fairly understandable provided you have some grounding, there may be some stylistic issues that may be off-putting to some people. Freud can be condescending and derogatory in his language; in fact his view seems to be that the entirety of humanity are little more than overly sophisticated apes. He's also a frequent basher of religion in case you take offense to that kind of thing. As for myself, I suppose I found him relating so many things to sexuality quite bizarre. But beneath the surface level issues I found that I quite enjoyed reading the ideas of a very intelligent man even if I didn't agree with them all.

In closing, I found many of his insights quite striking and the eight parts of Civilization have plenty to offer. While I think I've had my fill of psychology for the present, Freud is someone I'll look at in the future.

A bit complex as an introduction to Freud but Civilization and its Discontents is a great look into his theories.

See you next week

Ragnarok: The End of the Gods by A.S. Byatt [Book Thoughts]

2013-11-16T15:41:00.000+02:00

Not bad, but if you're looking for something suitably epic and mythical you could probably do better than Ragnarok.

-Imran

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Ragnarok: The End of the Gods by A.S. Byatt

I've never previously heard of A.S. Byatt but apparently she's a big deal, having written some 11 books and winning the Booker Prize. Ragnarok: The End of the Gods is her latest work written as part of the Canongate Myth Series (coincidentally, the Good Man Jesus is also part of the series. Click here for the review). Just to clarify: the word 'Ragnarok' is the name given to the apocalypse/end-of-days in Norse Mythology and the book Ragnarok focuses on the events that lead up to this apocalypse.

Ragnarok: The End of the Gods is essentially a recap of Norse Mythology summarizing the beginning and then focusing on the events that lead up to Ragnarok itself. The story is told from the perspective of a sickly child who's taken refuge in the countryside during World War II and has found solace and escapism in the Norse Myths. While the child's life and thoughts are explored here and there in the book, it quickly becomes clear that she serves as not much more than a frame to the story and that Odin and Loki are the real stars of the show. This would have been a good thing because the Norse myths are rich and captivating, if not for the fact that the presentation feels like a let-down at times.

While the latter half of the book and the events of Ragnarok itself were gripping to read, the first half of the book was so slow and directionless that I nearly gave up on it entirely. In the first half its all set-up and scenery descriptions and, at the end, I'm still not sure if the pay-off justified trudging through all of that. To be fair, the descriptions themselves are articulate and beautiful but if you're not much of an aesthete (and I'm not) then they're probably wasted on you. Perhaps it's just preference but I much prefer beautiful plots to beautiful language.

On the plus side, there's a definite love and attention for the source material by the writer although I can't help but wonder if there was too much love; too much reverence. It seems that Byatt is more concerned with trying to create an air of wonder and surrealism than to actually restyle the Norse myths into a compelling narrative; in fact, she seems to hint at this in her closing comments. That's not to say it's all bad though. Loki is certainly styled into a fascinating character and the conclusion is immensely satisfying in an epic way. As for the sickly child, there's some interesting subtext about the way she finds comfort in the Norse myths and her thoughts on religion, but really she's given so little 'screen time' that there's not much else to say about her.

In the end, I'm not sorry to have read it but I can't give it a glowing recommendation either. The Norse Myths truly come to life in the second half but it takes some painfully slow build-up to get there.

Not bad, but if you're looking for something suitably epic and mythical you could probably do better than Ragnarok.

See you next week

An African Millionaire by Grant Allen [Book Thoughts]

2013-11-09T23:22:00.001+02:00

The contrast between Charles and Colonel Clay and the witty schemes make An African Millionaire an entertaining read.
-Imran

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An African Millionaire by Grant Allen

Grant Allen doesn’t seem to be as well-known as other authors from his era but his talents show in An African Millionaire. It follows the story of Sir Charles Vandrift, a shrewd millionaire who’s made his fortune in the diamond mines of Africa and now spends his time in Europe doing what rich people do. Millionaire is told as a collection of short stories narrated by Charles’s brother-in-law and secretary, Seymour, that together form an overarching narrative about Charles’s battle with a con artist.

In the first chapter, Charles is swindled out of £5000 by a seer who claims to be able to see the future. The ‘seer’ turns out to be the infamous Colonel Clay, a thief renowned for his many disguises and his penchant for robbing rich people and never getting caught. From then on, it’s one misadventure after another with Charles going on with his excessively decadent life (usually going on holiday or buying expensive things) and running into one of Colonel Clay’s schemes. Over the course of the story, Clay develops something of a fascination with Charles and promises to swindle him over and over again. His personality comes across strongly in their encounters and in the insulting letters he sends right after he’s managed to con Charles out of yet another large sum of money.

While Colonel Clay is technically a villain and a thief, it’s hard not to root for him. He comes across as a man of class and his schemes are so ingenious that at the end of every chapter, you’re left shaking your head at how it’s all managed to come together. Clay comes in all manner of disguises and, between him and his partner, it’s difficult to work out who he is in each chapter until quite late in the book. As for Charles and Seymour, they start to develop an instinctive mistrust of anyone new they meet for fear that he might be the Colonel. This leads to some really comical mishaps and there are some truly laugh out loud moments in the book.

But beneath the humour there’s a certain genius to the whole story. Each chapter is something of a mini mystery that reads like a chess game between Charles and Clay and the book plays as much with the reader as it does with Charles. That, and I suppose there’s also some kind of guilty pleasure in reading about an amoral and overconfident rich ass get swindled left, right and centre. The story does become a bit more serious in the end and tries to make something of a statement but, in my opinion, the last two chapters were the weakest. Maybe it’s because I enjoyed the preceding ones so much and I didn’t want the book to end but I found the conclusion to be quite unsatisfactory. Other than that, I have little cause for complaint.

The contrast between Charles and Colonel Clay and the witty schemes make An African Millionaire an entertaining read.

See you next week

Sex on the Moon by Ben Mezrich [Book Thoughts]

2013-11-02T12:09:00.001+02:00

All flash and no substance. Give Sex on the Moon a skip.

-Imran

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Sex on the Moon by Ben Mezrich

Jokes on you if thought, Sex on the Moon was some sleazy space porno. No, it’s a dramatized retelling of the Moon Rock Heist of 2002. Thad Roberts, an intern at NASA, broke into legendary professor Everett Gibson’s office with his girlfriend and stole a safe containing lunar samples. He then attempted to sell them to a Belgian rock collector but was arrested in an FBI sting operation and sent to prison for eight years. Ten years after the ‘heist’, Ben Mezrich has attempted to piece the story together through a series of interviews with Roberts and others who ‘did not wished to be named’.

The story starts off with Roberts being kicked out of his strict Mormon home for having premarital sex. There's there’s a definite sense of adventure early on as Roberts battles against the odds and works his way towards his dream of becoming an astronaut. It begins as an underdog story and Mezrich can certainly write chapters in a way that makes you want to find out happens next. It’s entertaining for a while until you realize that’s all there is to it. Hook after hook but we don’t really get much more than a shallow insight into Thad’s character.

That’s not to say that there’s no point to the story. It would have been interesting to explore what would motivate a bright and promising young intern to rob NASA when he had so much lose but we don’t really get that opportunity. Instead there’s the sense that Mezrich is desperately trying to find something deeper to the story, but not quite succeeding. Thad’s internal monologues don’t really answer the reader’s questions and after a while it becomes insufferable to sift through his naïve rationalizations and delusions of grandeur while he’s showing at every turn just how shallow how is. He’s writing poetry and soliloquizing about his ‘one true love’ over a girl he’s known for only one week while cheating on his wife with her. And he’s fantasizing about the grand contributions he’s going to make to science while planning to steal the moon rocks and sell them for holiday money.

The tipping point is near the end when Thad is trying to conceive his theft as something glorious or heroic and comparing himself to James Bond; at which point you may be inclined to feel nausea. The only two explanations I can conceive for why the book is this way are: a) Thad Roberts is delusional and/or a moron or b) Ben Mezrich didn't really manage to understand why Roberts did it. Either way, the level of childish self-justification on the part of Roberts is simply staggering.

Throughout the reading, there’s this also quirky over-stylization of each character as though Mezreich is trying to make them suitable for a Hollywood popcorn flick. It stands out in particular with the Belgian rock collector who, despite being one of the only sensible and balanced characters in the book, is characterized as a nerd with OCD. Despite this, the rest of the main cast come across as fairly bland and featureless. Also, being a dramatization of events that took place 10 years, it’s unclear how much of the story is actually true especially since some of the facts are at odds with the documentary based on the same sequence of events.

To conclude, I can’t help but feel disappointed. I kept reading hoping that the story would go somewhere but 300 pages later and we’re still left with the same question we had before we started. Why did Thad Roberts throw his bright future away after he worked so hard to earn it? Ben Mezrich clearly doesn’t know the answer.

All flash and no substance. Give Sex on the Moon a skip.

See you next week.

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov [Book Thoughts]

2013-10-26T13:30:00.001+02:00

I, Robot is gripping, fascinating and intellectually stimulating. It’s easy to read and easy to enjoy.
-Imran

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I, Robot by Isaac Asimov

Isaac Asimov was a professor of Biochemistry at the Boston University and a legend in the realm of science fiction. His Foundation and Robot novels, ironically, set the foundation for modern science fiction and, 20 years after his death in 1992, his influence in modern science fiction is still visible and apparent. Asimov is credited with writing or editing over 500 books in his lifetime and his career was a glittering one filled with recognition and awards. After reading through I, Robot, I'm beginning to see why all of that is.

I, Robot is a collection of short stories that link together to form an overarching narrative about a world where the existence of robots has changed the course of history (please forget the connection to the 2004 movie starring Will Smith. That has nothing to do with this). The 9 short stories begin in mid-nineties where the first robots perform simple functions and continue late into the 21^st century where robots are involved in all manner of things from off-world mining to politics. There’s a lovely sense of development throughout the book as you see the world grow and alter as a result of the robots and how the robots themselves change as their development furthers. The robots in question are governed by Asimov’s now-famous Three Laws of Robotics. The Three Laws programmed into the robots are:

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

The Laws themselves sound quite neat and tidy on paper but they start to cause problems when you present the robots with more complicated scenarios. For example, what happens when a Robot is ordered to answer a question, but answering the question truthfully would cause harm to the questioner? And this is what forms the crux of each short story: one or more of the main characters from the U.S. Robots corporation are presented with a problem involving robots that needs solving; and as the robots themselves become more complex, so do the problems.

There are robots that disobey orders whenever they’re not watched, robots that can read minds, that can lie, that have messiah complexes, there are even robots that are capable of harming humans by faulty reasoning. The book sets up fascinating problems and then creates a sense of tension as the characters try to solve them, usually with dire consequences if they don’t. It makes for truly mind-blowing reading at times but even so there’s an underlying mathematical logic to the robots that you can really buy into. It’s probably one of the most believable fictional words I've had contact with.

Without saying much more, I, Robot is one of the few books that, after I finished reading it, I wish had more. If this is just the tip of the iceberg of what Asimov has to offer then I think I'm going to delve quite deeply into his works.

I, Robot is gripping, fascinating and intellectually stimulating. It’s easy to read and easy to enjoy.

See you next week

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman [Book Thoughts]

2013-10-19T13:16:00.002+02:00

An extremely difficult topic handled really well. The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ has some really striking insights hovering beneath the pages.
-Imran

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The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman

Phillip Pullman is most well-known for the His Dark Materials Trilogy comprising Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass. While the series is aimed at children, it deals with subject that is anything but childish. Pullman, of course, is no stranger to controversy and you probably tell from the title alone that The Good Man Jesus is about as controversial as it gets.

The Good Man Jesus is a fiction story inextricably entangled with the story of Jesus from the Bible, incorporating several aspects of his life, his legacy and the Church. I feel like it’s another one of those books where telling you what it’s about would ruin the experience so I’ll just quote a snippet from the back of the book and say that it’s: ‘a story of two brothers’. It’s not so much about religion as it is about historical narratives and about the things that matter to us as humans over time.

That being said, it’s one of those books where subject matter itself is so delicate that it has the potential to engulf the whole book. I can imagine plenty have condemned it without reading it and plenty have used it as a point in an argument – also without reading it. I can also imagine a massive polarization in opinions of those who do read it: many Christians and other religious people might go in from page 1 trying to attack it from every angle and many Atheists and anti-religious people might read it to use some of its content to smugly bash religious people.

And really, I feel like either approach would be a disservice to the book. While Pullman himself gives some commentary in a short essay at the back, this is first and foremost a work of literary fiction and the best way to gain something from reading it is to leave your prejudices, both positive and negative, at the door.

And if you have manage to do that and step aside from the controversy, then what you’ll find is a very interesting reinterpretation of a complex issue. It’s a book that’s as devoid of bile and condemnation as something like this could be while still bringing something meaningful to the table. It also poses some very interesting, and probably unsolvable, questions that are really worth thinking about, especially if you’re religious. It’s a shame that there’s so much controversy surrounding the book because it’s honestly one of the better works I’ve read this year.

A difficult topic handled well. The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ is an elegant exposition in historical narratives. Some heavy insights are on offer here.

See you next week

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens [Book Thoughts]

2013-10-12T13:55:00.001+02:00

A Christmas Carol is a story worth knowing about but, in my opinion, it hasn't aged as well as many of the other classics.
-Imran

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A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens is a legendary storyteller who’s written some of the most renowned novels in English fiction history; but I just can’t seem to enjoy his writing. His story, characters and narrative I can admire but when it comes to the writing itself, it just doesn't captivate me. Perhaps it could be that his style hasn't aged well but I find his language puffy and some of his descriptions hard to follow at times. Oliver Twist, I never really got into making A Christmas Carol the first story of his that I've actually finished.

And A Christmas Carol is certainly a great story; it’s one of those that are so well-known that many don’t even know they’re familiar with it. It’s the archetypal tale of redemption: a lonely, miserly and bitter old businessman named Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve who show him his life for what it really is and what it could become if he keeps on his current path. In the 100 or so pages we take a tour through the bright and dark sides of people and into Scrooge’s own character.

It suppose it's also good reading for children because it tackles an emotionally complex topic in a simple and straightforward manner and aspects of Scrooge can probably be related to yourself or people you know. But, again it’s the language I take issue with: I feel that the book is probably too difficult reading for most young children.

And that brings me once again to the conflict I have with Dickens and his writing. Fantastic story but not something that I actually enjoyed reading. Unless you’re a completionist or someone who quite takes to Dickens’s writing, I can’t give it a glowing recommendation.

A Christmas Carol is a story worth knowing about but, in my opinion, it hasn't aged as well as many of the other classics.

See you next week

The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett [Book Thoughts]

2013-10-05T13:45:00.000+02:00

On the whole, there's nothing deep or complex about The Colour of Magic, but it will keep you entertained for a bit without the need for much investment in the story or the narrative.
-Imran

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The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett

It might seem like old news to anyone already familiar with him, but Terry Pratchett is one of the best-selling authors of the last two decades and is most well known for his Discworld series spanning 40+ books. The Discworld itself is a flat world balancing on the back of four elephants all balancing on the back of an enormous turtle floating through the cosmos, so this is clearly not a series that takes itself seriously. The Colour of Magic, originally published in 1983, is the first in the series (which doesn't really follow chronologically as far as I can tell).

The Colour of Magic reads as something of parody of classic high fantasy but the jokes tend to stretch out quite a bit further so it's funny even if you aren't familiar with all the tropes that Pratchett is blatantly ripping off. The story follows the various misadventures of Rincewind, a failed magician who only knows one spell, and Twoflower, the Discworld's first tourist. Near the beginning, Rincewind is blackmailed by his superiors into serving as Twoflower's tour guide. Rincewind's chief task is then to stop Twoflower from getting himself killed, which is easier said than done since Twoflower's first impulse after seeing monsters or dragons is to whip out his camera while Rincewind's is to run up a tree and start whimpering.

There are insurance scandals and barbarians and Lovecraft-ian demons and all manner of ridiculous things as the story goes from one arc to another that usually centers around the two of them getting in over their head and trying to get out alive. The story covers some five or so mini-stories in its 200 pages and ends without a definite resolution; probably an invitation from Pratchett to read the next one.

I found that, for the most part, it's pleasantly written and genuinely funny. It's not the modern kind of 'random funny' where the pages are littered with silliness and half-baked references but rather the subtle kind where the author is poking fun at something in every second sentence and often it pays to be in on the joke. I found it to be a pleasant break from the more serious works I've been reading lately.

On the whole, there's nothing deep or complex about The Colour of Magic, but it will keep you entertained for a bit without the need for much investment in the story or the narrative.

See you next week

A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix [Book Thoughts]

2013-09-28T21:54:00.002+02:00

In short: A Confusion of Princes is typical sci-fi escapist fiction but it’s decent sci-fi escapist fiction. If the premises interests you or if you’re a fan of Nix or the genre, it’s probably worth a read.
-Imran

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A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix

A Confusion of Princes is something of a sci-fi/space opera/fantasy mash-up that takes place in the distant future where space travel, biological engineering and psychic abilities are all relatively commonplace. Most of the universe is ruled by the near-omnipotent Empire and the Empire carries out its rule via the ten million Princes that run everything from its government to its military. The Princes themselves are enhanced super-humans that come in all shapes and sizes (including male and female) and, despite the Empire trying to keep them in line, they spend most of their time going behind its back, forming alliances and plotting to kill each other. The futuristic world as a whole is nothing new compared to what you might have seen elsewhere in sci-fi but the Prince dynamic does keep it interesting.

The story follows one Prince Khemri, an arrogant newbie who’s just come of age, entered the Empire and found out that with ten million other Princes out there, he isn't that special. In the first 100 pages we see him trying to avoid getting killed and then we follow him working his way up through the ranks but it’s a 350 page book so there's a lot else that goes on before the predictably epic conclusion.

It’s sort of standard in this kind of story that we start with an arrogant douche bag and, through a series of character moments, he develops into something of a relatable human being. It really isn't much of a spoiler (it’s given away in the prologue) but unless you’re new to the genre you should be able to see it coming. Other than a few minor twists, the story tends to hold few surprises overall.

But that’s not to say that the book is boring, on the contrary, I found it quite entertaining. It’s well written, nicely paced, the world is interesting and the main character manages to carry the story quite well. It does skirt along the edges of some deeper moral and ethical issues from time to time and, again, as is typical, it tends to become more serious towards the end, but it manages to stay light-hearted for the most part.

See you next week

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell [Book Thoughts]

2013-09-21T13:29:00.000+02:00

Light, pleasant and positive, Black Beauty is a great story for any child to read. The themes of animal cruelty are handled admirably.

-Imran

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Black Beauty by Anna Sewell

Black Beauty is the best-known, and the only-published, work of Anna Sewell. Black Beauty chronicles the life story of an innocent young horse, surprisingly named Black Beauty, from his childhood as a colt to his later years as working horse. As I found out only after I finished reading it, it is technically a children’s book, although the subject matter is anything but childish.

Black Beauty is narrated first-person style directly from the horse’s perspective, which is an interesting take. It’s the first time I've read a story where the protagonist is an animal and it does do an incredible job of capturing parts the slave-master relationship of humans and animals without demonizing human beings entirely. We follow Black Beauty as he passes from owner to owner, some kind, some cruel and some just apathetic in general to the suffering of horses. The story focuses mainly on the experiences of Beauty and the other horses he meets and it’s often shown first-hand how seemingly trivial differences, such as which reign to use, can affect a horse’s ease or suffering quite severely.

It probably goes without saying that a large theme of the book is animal cruelty. There’s a lot of internal praise directed at the characters who treat the horses well, some distaste addressed at those who don’t but also some compassion for those, like taxi-cab drivers, who have no choice but to work the horses to death to make a living. I suppose that’s where it differs from much animal activist literature; rather than condemning the use of work animals entirely, it offers a pleasant middle ground where man and beast can almost become friends.

Being a children’s book, of course, it does stay neatly away from getting too deeply into anything dark or morbid but there are enough portrayals of suffering and cruelty for it to at least have a significant presence in the story. There are also plenty of positive messages sprinkled here and there from many of the more compassionate characters and I must say that it’s a refreshing change to read positivity rather than condemnation.

In closing, I enjoyed the book as a light but entertaining read and, now I think about it, I'd give it a strong recommendation to any child. Horse-riding may be obsolete but animal cruelty will always be relevant. Even someone like me, who’s usually quite disinterested in animals, found my eyes opened somewhat by the book.

Light, pleasant and positive, Black Beauty is a great story for any child to read. The themes of animal cruelty are handled admirably.

See you next week

Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel [Book Thoughts]

2013-09-14T12:51:00.001+02:00

Probably the best book I've read all year. Yann Martel is amazing. He's quickly becoming one of my favourite authors.

-Imran

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Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel

Beatrice and Virgil is hard to do justice with any kind of 'review' so let me come right out and say it: it's good, in fact might just be the best book I've read all year. It’s hard to pigeonhole it into one genre or try to explain to you exactly why it’s worth reading. It happens to be one of those stories where knowing what it's about ruins the whole thing. So to avoid any spoilers, I'll steer nicely away from the plot on this one.

So let’s start. Beatrice and Virgil is written by Yann Martel, the Canadian author who wrote Life of Pi. And like Life of Pi, B&V is one of those stories that comes by once in a while and takes you by surprise with the depths of its insight. It's this strange tale about a writer, a taxidermist, a monkey and a donkey and, like Pi, it lulls you in with the telling of a tale while carefully setting things in motion. There's plenty in the story to keep you engrossed from page to page but by the time you realize what it's all about, the book is over, leaving you alone to wrestle with its ideas.

In that sense the book is brilliant.
In that sense, it’s also disturbing.

Beatrice and Virgil is one of those books that has continued to haunt me long after I've finished it. It’s a rare story, told by a master, that ropes you in and feels satisfying to read just page to page. It also leaves you with plenty to think about; in this case, almost too much. The heaviness of the ideas means the book is not probably not for the faint of heart but I truly respect the author for being willing to tackle subject matter of this kind. It will probably make more sense on subsequent reads; that I certainly plan to do in the future.

For now, I give it a strong recommendation to anyone who appreciates works of the literary crust or just wants something truly brilliant to read. I’d suggest Life of Pi first just because it’s a bit lighter on the senses but if you liked that, then I could not recommend this any more.

In closing, Beatrice and Virgil is one of the most incredible books I've read and I'm eager to discuss it with anyone who’s read it too.

See you next week.

On the Shortness of Life by Seneca [Book Thoughts]

2013-09-07T13:32:00.000+02:00

In the end, On the Shortness of Life is more a book that I am glad to have read but did not particularly enjoy reading. For anyone interested, give the first essay a read, skip the other two.

-Imran

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On the Shortness of Life by Seneca
(Essay compilation)

On the Shortness of Life is an essay collection by Lucius Annaeus Seneca, a Roman philosopher most well-known for his writings on stoicism. This collection in particular contains an essay ‘On the Shortness of Life’, a letter written to comfort his mother after his exile and a letter to his friend Serenus who requested his wisdom and advice. Together the three come to just over a 100 pages.

From what I understand, stoicism is a way of life that aims to be immune to misfortune. Like Taoism, it appears to be a philosophy of inaction rather action. Seneca frequently points to the futility of so many activities (and with good reason) and advocates that it’s better to live a life of leisure instead of toil (which I don’t agree with).

As for being immune to misfortune, Seneca remarks that misfortune happens to anyone and everyone at without warning; he himself suffered many such as the death of his son and his exile. How Seneca deals with this is to accept misfortune without sorrow and hold possession over nothing. For instance, he notes that it’s more painful to receive wealth and then lose it than it is to have never had wealth to begin with; Seneca himself was quite wealthy but 'remedied' this by living frugally so that if he ever lost his wealth he would be unaffected. In fact, when he was exiled and lost all his wealth, he told his mother that poverty wasn’t much of a bother to him since he only needed to eat small quantities to survive. It almost seems as though he did not approve of the enjoyment of good fortune since this exposes one to the risk of suffering by misfortune.

As for the writings themselves, the essays do contain several powerful quotes and much food for thought but I couldn’t help but feel that they dragged on at times. Perhaps the first essay I found quite striking but the other two just didn’t hit the same notes for me. On the whole I wish I could say On the Shortness of Life moved me or affected me profoundly but it didn’t. Seneca makes plenty of powerful and striking points he speaks in plain language but perhaps the stoic philosophies just don’t appeal strongly to me to me.

In closing, it was nice to have some exposure to Seneca and get an idea for what he’s about, but I can’t see myself gravitating towards his writings again in a hurry.

In the end, On the Shortness of Life is more a book that I am glad to have read but did not particularly enjoy reading. For anyone interested, give the first essay a read, skip the other two.

See you next week

The Trading Game [Short Fiction]

2013-09-04T11:24:00.001+02:00

I wrote this piece a few months ago and submitted it to a literary magazine. Sadly, it was rejected so here it goes. I'd like to think that I've come a long way as a writer since I wrote this and I hope to do a lot better in the future. At the time, I envisioned this one being a middle chapter in a novel.
-Imran

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Image is the property of CryptikFox

“Is this for real?” Tyler repeated, “It just seems too good to be true.”
“Theoretically something like this shouldn’t exist,” I pondered, “But we all know how seldom theory translates into practice.”
The team’s manager, Harold, scratched his balding head at his desk. It was strange to see Harry so apprehensive; I was so used to hearing him punctuate the air with his catchphrases and witty one-liners that seeing him worried about anything made me feel the need to worry too. Usually it was I who was the devil’s advocate, always shooting holes in everyone’s strategies, playing the role of the eternal sceptic. But this time, not even I could find a mistake in our plan.
“Yuri, run those numbers again,” Harold shouted off to the man hunched over his keyboard in the corner. Yuri was the programmer or ‘risk simulation engineer’ as the men upstairs preferred.
“Running the simulations again, sir,” Yuri called to us. There really had been no need. I’d done the hard calculations myself under the most skeletal of assumptions. On paper, any quantitative tool in the world would tell us that the plan was perfect. Every scenario played out in our favour, even the worst cases had us raking in absurd profits. Perhaps that meant that any problem might come from outside of our control. Maybe that’s what was so worrisome; it was safer to fear the known than the unknown.
“One hundred thousand simulations completed, sir,” Yuri called, “One hundred thousand out of one hundred thousand lead to a positive net outcome. The only way we could lose money on this one is if the world ends.”
That was the third time we’d run the simulations today alone; the results didn’t seem to pacify Harold one bit. Maybe it was a bit like chasing a rainbow: if you ever managed to find that pot of gold at the end you would have to keep pinching yourself just to convince yourself that it wasn’t going to disappear.
Harold sighed and raised his head to look at me, “You know if this works out,” he started with the faintest glimmer of hope, “Then, Vigo, you are a genius.”
I smiled, “Please sir,” I answered, “Tyler was the one who spotted the opportunity.”
“Yes but you’re the one who figured out how to take advantage of it,” Harold replied, “You’re the one who made the impossible, possible.”
“Let’s save the congratulations for the end of this thing,” I answered, looking away, scratching my neck, “Let’s not get carried away until we have the results.”
My eyes shifted uncomfortably to Tyler seated at the right side of Harold’s desk. Since we’d entered the room I’d felt his eyes boring into me, making me feel unsteady and uncomfortable. More often these days I’d caught him glaring at me from across the room or whispering in hushed voices to our colleagues and then quickly becoming silent as I neared them. I hated having to feel anxious around Ty. He was a good man, he had looked out for me so many times before, I reminded myself. And yet since the two of us had joined Harold’s team and my reputation had grown, I’d felt a distance, ever so subtle, forming between my friend and I. I sighed.
The annoying humdrum of the telephone interrupted my thoughts. Harry snatched it up.
“Who’s this?” he grumbled into the receiver.
…
“Ah Mr Erikson, so nice of you to call. I was just going to give you a ring myself.”
…
“Yes.”
…
“Yes.”
…
“I’ll get on it right away.”
…
“Alright.”
…
“Alright.”
…
“I’ll see you soon.”
Harold discarded the receiver with a sigh, “Christ, not this idiot again.”
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“It’s that goon upstairs,” Harold complained, “He wants me to go up there and explain why all that cash has just gone out of our portfolio.”
“So what’s the problem, boss?” Tyler asked, “It’s a good strategy, isn’t it?”
“It’s not the strategy,” Harold lashed out, “It’s that buffoon who’s supposed to be ‘managing’ us. He doesn’t understand a Goddamn thing about derivatives or hedging or speculating or about anything we do here. That kid is so daft he can’t tie his own shoelaces but every time I make even the smallest change, he calls me up and I have to answer to him.”
“How did someone like him even get that position?” I asked.
“His name is James Erikson,” Tyler answered me coldly, “As in, the son of Stefan Erikson from the board of directors.”
“That explains a lot,” I answered.
“It’s worse than explaining the stock market to a five year old,” Harold ranted, “At least the five year old will admit they don’t understand. Christ, I don’t have the energy for this.”
I considered something for a moment before replying, “Tell you what, sir,” I told Harry, “Why don’t you let me go up and talk to him. I’ll take care of it for you.”
Harry looked at me gratefully, “Would you please?” he asked.
“Sure,” I replied, “I’ll take care of it.”
“The man is a complete airhead,” Harry warned, “I don’t think he can spell ‘investment’ let alone tell you what one is.”
“I’ll be nice,” I smiled.
“Thanks a million Vigo,” Harry sighed, “I mean really, I need a drink or something. This whole thing is either going to make us all insanely rich or turn us into the laughing stock of the industry.”
“I don’t see it why it can’t be both, sir,” I teased, grabbing my jacket off the chair; “I’ll be back soon.”
“By all means,” Harry called out to me as I left, “Take your time. We’ve got plenty of that for the next six months.”
I hurried out of our department office and into the elevator. I’d just felt like I needed to get away for a bit. Between Harold’s overly pessimistic paranoia and Tyler’s piercing eyes, the atmosphere amongst us had quickly turned from its usual jovial state. It was funny in a way. The first genuine arbitrage opportunity anyone had found in years and instead of jubilation and excitement, everyone was wracked with worry.

*******

“I’m here to see Mr Erikson,” I told the young blond secretary dolled up and sporting an ear piece, “Harry Wilcox sent me.”
“Just a minute,” the secretary replied, buzzing her boss, “A Mr Vigo from Harry Wilcox to see you, sir. Should I send him in?”
After a short pause, the secretary answered me, “Mr Erikson will see you now. You can go right on in. Have a nice day.”
“You too,” I waved to her, walking over to the door. ‘James L. Erikson MBA’, it read, ‘Head of Speculative Investment Division’.
The door opened in front of me to reveal man in his late twenties beckoning me in. He had short oiled-up brown hair and his tailored suit seemed horribly mismatched; it was grey and he wore it with an ocean blue shirt and a striped pink tie.
“Iker Vigo,” I introduced myself, extending a hand, “Harold sent me to answer your call?”
Erikson took my hand, looking somewhat confused, “Sure, sure, nice to meet you,” he stammered, “Right this way, Mr Vigo.”
As Erikson lead me to a chair, I took a look around his spacious office with its subtle blue carpet and its darkwood furnishings. Behind his desk was a magnificent view of the cityscape, the gleaming green lights of Faith’s Towers visible in the distance. In the corner of the room was an impressive flat-screen TV, at least 50 inches. In the corporate world, we’d say that Erikson had made it; he’d worked his way up and now he was on the gravy train. But his desk, told a different story. It lacked any kind of report or paperwork; instead it was littered with desk toys, playing cards and what looked suspiciously like a Spider-man comic hidden under an empty ring binder.
“So,” I broke the silence with a smile after Erikson sat down, “What can I do for you, sir?”
“Well,” he started, “Usually before Harold does one of his big transaction things, he lets me know about it. But then today I just heard that twelve million dollars of the company’s money was spent and I got a little concerned.”
I started to reply but Erikson cut me off.
“Look,” he continued, “I know you guys in Harold’s team are big boys and you can take care of yourselves, but I’m just following company policy. When the directors or the CEO ask me what my teams are up to, I need to be able to tell them. You understand?”
“I understand,” I nodded.
“So first thing,” Erikson asked me, “Why did you guys spend twelve million dollars of the company’s money on wheat?”
I nearly burst out laughing when Erikson said that. His confusion combined with the outlandishness of our plan just made the whole thing seem comical.
“Are you guys going into farming or something?” Erikson asked, “Or is that one of your new complicated investment derivables or something?”
I ignored Erikson’s misuse of terms, “No, sir, we really did buy twelve million dollars’ worth of grade A wheat. But we aren’t going into farming. Wheat is a tradable commodity and one of our team members found a legitimate arbitrage opportunity yesterday morning. We found a way to take advantage of the delayed market reaction to exploit it. I’m sorry that we were unable to inform you sir, but within fifteen minutes of us acting on it, it had disappeared entirely.”
“Hold on a sec, hold on a sec,” Erikson interrupted me, “Can you run that by me again?”
“Ok sir,” I asked, “What part of it isn’t clear to you?”
“Well,” he started, “Can you just take it from the top? Like explain it in layman’s terms. Like what you guys are doing and everything?”
“Are you familiar with arbitrage opportunities, sir?” I asked, my eyebrow raised.
“Well kind of,” he shrugged, “Sort of, I guess.”
“Risk free trading profit from the mispricing of assets?”
“Look,” Erikson interrupted me again, “I’m more of a big picture guy so there’s no reason to use such technical terms with me. I think just explain this whole thing in layman’s terms and we’ll be alright.”
I sighed, marvelling at this man’s incompetence. The lettering outside his door read MBA: ‘Masters in Business Administration’. And here I was speaking to a ‘Masters’ degree holder who didn’t even know what arbitrage was. I was starting to see why Harold and his short fuse struggled with these meetings.
“Alright,” I answered, realizing how to handle this, “Do you mind if I explain our strategy using very basic analogies?”
“Go for it,” Erikson prompted me, looking a tad nervous now that I took note.
“Ok then let me explain,” I took over, “Let’s say Sally is selling apples and she’s selling them at $5 an apple.”
“That’s an awful lot of money for an apple,” Erikson interrupted me.
“It’s just an illustration, sir,” I told him, “The figures are made up, bear with me.”
“Alright,” Erikson nodded.
“So Sally is selling apples at $5 each. And then we hear that Timmy down the road is buying apples at $7 each.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Erikson scoffed, “I’m sorry but $7 for an apple is just unrealistic.”
I gritted my teeth in frustration, “Well these are rare magical apples, sir. $7 is reasonable for them.”
“Well ok,” Erikson accepted, unconvinced.
“So here’s what I can do to exploit this,” I continued, “I can take $5 from the bank, buy an apple from Sally for $5, walk down the road, sell the apple to Timmy for $7 and then repay my outstanding loan of $5 to the bank.”
“And then you get to keep $2 for yourself?” Erikson asked. At least the man could do simple addition and subtraction.
“Exactly,” I told him, “That’s arbitrage.”
“That’s so simple!” Erikson exclaimed, suddenly excited.
“On paper it is,” I told him, “Its risk free because I don’t have to use any of my own money to make a guaranteed profit, and there’s no risk of future loss. It’s a free lunch.”
“So this is what you guys are doing?” Erikson asked, “You’re making arbitrages?”
“Something like that,” I nodded with strained patience.
“Ok wait, wait,” he resumed, “If this arbitrage thing is so easy and it’s so safe, then why doesn’t everyone do arbitrage?”
“Well,” I started, “Everyone does look for these kinds of opportunities, but they’re noticed very quickly so the market adjusts and then they disappear. Back to our Sally-Timmy example, if you keep doing this, eventually Sally and Timmy are going to find out and then they’re going to cut the middle man out and just buy and sell directly from each other. Maybe they agree to go halfway and price apples at $6.”
“I see, I see,” my senior manager nodded.
“Also,” I went on, “In practice, it’s very difficult to spot these opportunities because of market complications. I gave you a very simple example. But what would happen if Sally sold her apples in bundles of four and Timmy bought them in bundles of seven? Or if it costed 20c to transport an apple from Sally to Timmy? Or you got taxed on apple profits? Or if the bank wanted interest on that loan?”
“I’m not that good with the numbers,” Erikson gulped.
“In reality, there are always many confounding factors,” I continued, “It takes real skill to spot a genuine arbitrage opportunity and even more skill to exploit it. And then once you’ve found it, it disappears in the blink of an eye, like it was never there to begin with.”
“But you guys think you found one?” Erikson inquired.
“Yes,” I nodded, “We found that wheat was under-priced so we’re longing put options at a strike price that guarantees a profit.”
“Please, please,” Erikson raised his hands, “In English. Layman’s terms remember? I’ve got to explain this guys who aren’t that clued up on the markets.”
I sighed again. I wondered if Erikson really thought he had me fooled with regards to his ‘understanding’ of the markets. If he did, perhaps he was even more unqualified than I’d initially assumed.
“Ok well here’s what we did,” I replied, “Farmers sell wheat at whatever price the market buys it for. But experts in the industry are predicting that next year’s harvest isn’t going to be very large, so that means we expect wheat to become scarcer in the future. So the price should go up right? You with me?”
“Sure.”
“But the market hasn’t reacted to that yet; wheat is still relatively cheap,” I continued, “We didn’t ask why, we just saw a golden opportunity to make something happen. So we ran the numbers and then bought up all the wheat we possibly could. We bought tons and tons and tons of the stuff from any farmer that was willing to sell, and we got it a cheaper price than we calculate it’s actually worth. Now here’s where it gets better: we bought so much wheat that we actually created a shortage. Now what happens when something is scarce?”
“The price goes up?” Erikson suggested, lacking confidence in his answer.
“Yes, the price goes up,” I affirmed, “And that’s exactly what happened. We bought all this wheat on the cheap and then, fifteen minutes later, we could have sold it right back for more and made a killing. But that’s not what we ended up doing. We actually found a way to make even more without even taking a calculated risk.”
“Ok, I’m with you,” Erikson nodded.
“So here’s what we did till this afternoon,” I continued, “We paid some of our friends in the media to keep spreading stories about this wheat shortage and we scheduled some experts to give talks on how it’s going to impact the economy over the next few weeks. In anticipation of all of this, the market reacted again and got scared, and the price for wheat went up even further.”
“I’m following,” Erikson nodded.
“But we didn’t stop there,” I went on, growing excited; “We actually found a way to make potentially even more profit. You see, there are these derivatives called ‘Put Options’ and, essentially, they allow us to sell the wheat at a much higher price in six months’ time if we want to; but we don’t have to if we don’t want to. So we took up a whole lot of put options with a several different granaries to sell the wheat in six months’ time, locking in the profit, while also diversifying away the credit risk.”
“Ok I’m not so sure about that part,” Erikson answered scratching his head.
“Never mind that for now, bear with me,” I continued impassioned, “So we took all this wheat and we paid various farms and warehouses to store it for us. And to be doubly safe, we insured the wheat as well. Are you following so far? This is where it gets really good.”
“I think so,” Erikson replied, “You guys have a whole lot of wheat and wheat is expensive.”
“Correct,” I nodded, “So this is how it’s going to play out. In six months’ time, when the contracts mature, we’re allowed to sell the wheat at a certain price to all those granaries; let’s call that price X. Now X is already higher than the price we paid for it, plus the costs of storage, plus the insurance premiums, plus the option prices, plus the insurance on creditor default. So no matter what happens, we’re guaranteed to sell the wheat for X, recoup our costs and make a profit.”
“That’s incredible,” Erikson marvelled.
“It gets even better,” I smiled, “You see, we’re only protected from the downside risk. The upside can, and is very likely to, happen. You see, in six months’ time, if the wheat price is higher than X, we’re not forced to sell the wheat to those granaries because we only bought options and we don’t have to exercise them. So if the wheat price is higher than X, which is likely based on market anticipation, we can sell the wheat for even more and make an even bigger killing.”
“Wow,” Erikson mouthed, “So it’s all upside and no downside.”
“Exactly,” I smiled, proud of myself for managing to convey my message.
“That’s amazing,” Erikson looked dumbfounded.
“In the free market, that’s what we call arbitrage,” I smirked.
“You guys are real whizzes,” Erikson shook his head, “How do people think of these things?”
I just smiled, drinking in Erikson’s incredulous admiration.

*******

The next six months crept by one dragged-out day at a time. With much of our funds tied up in this project, there was little left for us to do but wait. Yuri ran close to a million simulations a day just to keep Harold happy. But after a time, Harry grew tired of worrying about our project and took to spending his days on the golf course. He kept on nagging me to join him, but after a few polite refusals he seemed to get the message. Tyler was scarce. I wasn’t sure if he was avoiding me, or if he just didn’t come in to work these days. Every few weeks, Erikson would call me up to his office just to check up on our team and I’d just placate him with the figures and affirm that everything was going according to plan. And as for me? I just decided to forget about the whole thing and pass the time elsewhere. I stocked up my library on all the books I hadn’t read in the last few years and I passed the days catching up on my reading. I even took Valerie to a few fancy dinners and operas; I ended up sleeping through most of the latter.
Autumn fluttered away in a flurry of pages and winter drifted by while I snuggled up next to Val by the fireside with a mug of steaming coffee. There were days where I could almost forget about our big investment and just become lost in the words of Tolstoy or Taleb. I heard some of my colleagues were following the wheat price day in and day out; on the days it went down, they scurried around in a panic and on the days it up went, they sat at their desks praying desperately that a sudden market hiccup wouldn’t undo all their hard work. I simply saw no point in wasting my life stressing about things I couldn’t control.
Eventually, six months did pass, and the day did come. And when it came, it came with a bang. By now, most of the granaries had heard about our option deals and, in anticipation of us finally deciding to sell, the price went up even further. We cleared out the grain in a day, signing deals for figures that were beyond the scope of our imagination. In the worst case scenario, we would have made a massive profit. The kind of money we made on that day couldn’t have been done justice by any adjective I could think of. We had made more in six months than some of the other teams had made in the last thirty years; in this one stroke of good fortune, we’d made our entire careers. The bonus I received was enough for me to retire then and there if I wanted; instead I settled for a Mercedes.
And then the accolades started flying in. Newspapers wanted to interview us, the Economist wanted to write articles on us; some publishing company even asked us to write a book. James Erikson got more than his fair share of the credit. The board of directors were so impressed by the way he’d ‘managed’ and ‘advised’ Harold’s investment team that he got promoted into upper management. Naturally, his old job as the head of the Speculative Investment Department went to Harold, much to the chagrin of the other investment team leaders. And Harold’s promotion was what paved the way for me to take his old job as our team’s leader; I’d never asked for it, but Erikson had been so impressed by my explanations that he’d practically demanded that I take the job.
But dreamland wasn’t without its problems. Success breeds jealousy and words like ‘gamblers’ and ‘lucky bastards’ were being thrown at us from behind closed doors. We were the talk of the company in more ways than one. Charlatans queued up to offer us ‘once in a lifetime investment opportunities’, family members I didn’t know I had knocked on my door asking me for money. Some academics were writing papers claiming that we’d used their models and were demanding credit. Some were backwards rationalizing that our success was ‘obvious’ and that anyone was bound to have done it sooner or later. Others were claiming that we were crooks who’d ripped the market off. There were as many opinions as stars in the sky and for the most part, I just chose to ignore the chatter. Life was more peaceful that way. But there was one opinion that I couldn’t ignore; the scowling look of my former best friend, Tyler. If we went out together, it was only in a large group and we’d barely say a word to each other. When we waited in the elevators, he’d stand by me in silence. Whenever he greeted me now, it was with the most subtle trace of contempt. I’d fought long and hard to make sure that we’d all received equal bonuses but to Tyler that didn’t matter. To him, the arbitrage opportunity was always his and I’d stolen his credit when I’d been promoted. Just another thing I couldn’t control, I supposed.
But the false friends and the true enemies aside, there was a lot to be positive about. I could finally move out of our apartment and give Valerie the house of her dreams with the garden and a swimming pool she’d always wanted. I got offered jobs to work at international firms promising me limitless funds to manage; the board of directors responded by doubling my salary and giving me my own office. I was moving up in the world and everyone knew it now. The name of Iker Vigo was becoming famous in the realm of portfolio management. I was finally getting closer to where I wanted to be.
And so it was with a great feeling of accomplishment and pride that I stepped into my beautiful office and gazed out at the sprawling cityscape in front of me. For a moment I imagined that my name was slowly becoming more and more known by its inhabitants. And so I turned around and sat into my leather chair, sighing with delight. It was moments like these that I was in this job for. As I leaned back into my chair and gazed up at the ceiling, something on the table I caught the corner of my eye. I leaned forward to it; the morning’s newspaper.
I picked it up off the table and took in the headline. The picture was a mass of men, women and children so thin and malnourished that their ribcages were visible underneath their mottled skin. The first few lines of the article read as follows: “Wheat Shortage Continues: Over 450 dead by starvation as price of bread and maize hits record high. Hundreds below breadline have resorted to petty crime. Thousands more expected to lose their jobs as cost of living skyrockets.”

The Island of Dr Moreau by H.G. Wells [Book Thoughts]

2013-08-31T13:21:00.002+02:00

The Island of Dr Moreau is old-school classic science fiction: depth, tension and moral ambiguity. 200 years after publication, it's still easily readable and offers plenty.

-Imran

--------------------

The Island of Dr Moreau by H.G. Wells

If you're into Science Fiction, the name H.G. Wells might ring a bell.Wells is sometimes called the father of the genre and it's not without it's dues; he was writing about time travel, gene-splicing and alien invasions back in the 1800s when such things were only, ahem, science fiction. Along with The War of the Worlds, The Island of Dr Moreau is one of his more notable works.

I really knew nothing about Wells going in but I read it shortly after Frankenstein and I was surprised to find that it's a story much in the same vein. The book starts with Edward Prendick shipwrecked at sea and barely alive before he's rescued by a strange doctor who shelters him unwillingly on an island out in the middle of nowhere. The only other 'normal' human being besides the man who rescued him is Dr Moreau, a proud and cold scientist who doesn't care much for Prendick. Left much to his own devices, Prendick explores the island and finds the inhabitants very strange and alien to him; many of them having unusual features, such as pointy ears.

After that intro, the story mutates and evolves and it really does cover a lot of ground in 200 or so pages it fills. It's difficult to go into the nitty-gritty without spoiling anything.

But that's what I really loved about it. For book written over 100 years ago, it didn't follow any of the typical narrative structures that I'm used to and other than a few obvious plot points (obvious 100 years later), I really couldn't guess which path the story would take next. The book was also surprisingly readable despite it's age; more so even than Frankenstein. And speaking of Frankenstein, Moreau did remind me of it in many regards. The characters and the emotional content weren't as rich, but there were a lot of dark scientific and ethical issues weaved into the story that left me scratching my head and thinking. It's also also quite pacey and dramatic. To say that the book was 'interesting' feels like an understatement.

I really wasn't expecting to be impressed like this so soon after reading Frankenstein (and I've never read Wells before) but it seems like classic Science Fiction is something that I can really get into. There really is a lot more to it than plasma guns and aliens and Wells now proudly takes his place on my Reading List.

The Island of Dr Moreau is old-school classic science fiction: depth, tension and moral ambiguity. 200 years after publication, it's still easily readable and offers plenty.

See you next week

The Reason You Crave Pizza [Short Fiction]

2013-08-28T10:05:00.000+02:00

This piece is me experimenting with writing dialogue that stands on its own. As for the scene itself, it just ocurred to me one day and I thought it might be interesting :P. Enjoy
-Imran

DISCLAIMER: The following piece is purely my own work. It is not associated with Col'Cacchios, any of its branches or any of its employees. Don't sue me please.

--------------------

RING

ATTENDANT: Hello, good day, this is Col’Cacchio’s Rondebosch how can I help you?

CUSTOMER: Hi. Is this Col’Cacchio’s?
A: Yes sir that is correct. What would you like to order?

C: Well actually my order was delivered some time ago and… well there was something I wanted to ask you about it.

A: Ah. Was the order satisfactory sir?

C: Yes, yes, don’t worry about that, it was satisfactory. I actually wanted to ask you something else.

A: *pause*

C: You know the box?

A: Yes sir?

C: Well if you could just grab one and take a look. It’s white with this black strip running down. And if you hold it out normally then can see some writing on the black vertical strip that covers the flap.

A: Yes?

C: It says ‘We’re the reason you crave pizza’?

A: Yes sir, I have a box right in front of me. What about it?

C: You’re not.

A: Come again, sir?

C: You are not the reason I crave pizza. Well Col’Cacchio’s isn’t.

A: -

C: Are you there?

A: Yes sir, I’m listening

C: Col’Cacchio’s is not the reason I crave pizza.

A: I am sorry to hear that sir.

C: I mean, don’t you think that’s quite a bold statement. That ‘Col’Cacchio’s’ is the reason I crave pizza?

A: Unfortunately sir I don’t get a say in what goes on the box. I just take the orders and-

C: But you work at Col’Cacchio’s do you not?

A: Yes sir, I do.

C: Then this box is affiliated with your business. This is your concern.

A: I suppose in some way it is, sir.

C: Not in some way. It is.

A: -

C: I am not happy with it. I don’t think it should say that.

A: Sir, I’m sorry that the box isn’t to your liking but-

C: ‘We’re the reason you crave pizza’. I mean seriously now. You don’t even know me and you’re making a claim like that.

A: Sir, maybe if you’d let me I might be able to explain?

C: Alright?

A: Well you know how sometimes advertising can take something that’s an opinion and like turn it into something catchy?

C: No. Explain?

A: Ok well for example, you know KFC?

C: Yes.

A: Well on the boxes of things you buy at KFC, it says Finger Lickin’ Good. But not everyone that buys from KFC actually licks their fingers when they eat it. And not everyone actually thinks it’s that good. But they still put it on the boxes. Because it’s catchy. It’s like a slogan, or a catchphrase.

C: Yes.

A: Well ‘we’re the reason you crave pizza’ is like that. It’s our catchphrase. Well maybe we’re not the reason that everyone in the world craves pizza but, because of us, some people do. So that’s why we use it. You follow?

C: Yes, I follow.

A: Well I’m glad to have cleared that-

C: But don’t you think that’s a little misleading?

A: Excuse me sir?

C: I said: don’t you think that it’s misleading? To use that catchphrase. When you know that it only applies to some people but not to all.

A: Well I guess-

C: You’re generalizing.

A: Sir

C: That’s what you’re doing. You’re generalizing and you’re labelling people. And you’re labelling me when clearly you are not the reason I crave pizza. In fact, your pizza is not even that good. If it wasn’t that you recommended to me by a friend I probably wouldn’t have even-

A: Just, can you hold on a second sir.

C: But-

A: Just one second.

C: Ok.

A: I’m going to get the manager. And maybe she’ll be able to help you with this issue. Just one second.

A: *moves away from phone and calls out* Ma’aaaaaaaam!

MANAGER: *distant on the other end of the phone* Yes, what is it?

A: *distant* There’s a customer on the other end of the line that’s throwing a tantrum about the pizza boxes. I’ve been on the phone with him for like 10 minutes now and he won’t let up.

M: *distant* Jeez, just give him a free pizza or something. We’re really busy up in here.

A: *distant* That’s not going to work with this one. Just please Ma’am, help me out. I’m desperate here.

M: *distant* Ok just gimme the phone.

*some shuffling on the other end*

M: Good day, this is the manager speaking.

C: This is the manager of Col’Cacchio’s Rondebosch?

M: Yes, that’s me. I understand you have a query regarding our pizza boxes? How may I help you sir?

C: Well you know your pizza boxes are white with a black strip running down.

M: Yes sir, I do.

C: Well if you hold one out normally, then you should be able to see some writing on the black vertical strip that covers the flap.

M: I see it.

C: It says ‘We’re the reason you crave pizza’?

M: Yes, I see it.

C: Well you’re not. You are not the reason I crave pizza.

M: *sighs* What would you like me to do about that sir?

C: Well I’d like you to remove it, that’s what I’d like you to do! It’s entirely untrue!

M: Sir I’m afraid we can’t do that. The design on the boxes are set by head office. We can’t change them at the individual branches.

C: But you work at Col’Cacchio’s do you not?

M: Yes, I do.

C: Then this box is affiliated with your business. This is your concern. I am the customer and you are the manager. It is your job to rectify this.

M: I am aware that it is my job sir, but I’m afraid that I’m unable to change the boxes. Is there any other way that I can be of assistance?

C: I am not happy with this.

M: I can offer you a free pizza sir. Toppings of your choice. We can have it delivered within the hour.

C: Hmm… well that does sound tempting.

M: What would you like on the pizza sir?

C: Well I think I’ll take Mediterranean and on half-

M: We don’t do halves sir.

C: Are you f@#king kidding me?

M: Ok tell you what, just for you sir, we’ll do halves. So it was Mediterranean with?

C: Actually I've just changed my mind. I’d rather take a Verdure. But on half of it, I want no brinjals, but with additional feta, garlic and chilli. And on the other half replace the mushrooms and red peppers with chicken, avo and olives.

M: Got it sir, that’s one Verdure. Half no brinjals, add feta, garlic, chilli, the other half, no mushrooms, red peppers, add chicken, avo, olives. What’s your address?

C: You’ll find it on the system. I ordered a Margerita with Italian anchovies and olives about an hour ago.

M: Yes sir, I see it, you ordered a Siciliana.

C: No. A Siciliana has Italian anchovies and olives. A Margerita with anchovies and olives has those two toppings in addition to the herbs it usually comes with.

M: My mistake sir. The Rondebosch Oaks, Room 204?

C: Yes, that is correct.

M: Thank you sir, your order will be with you within the hour. We hope you find it to your liking.

C: Good, good.

M: Will that be all sir?

C: Not quite. Which box will it come in?

M: This order?

C: Yes.

M: The same box as before.

C: The one that says ‘we’re the reason you crave pizza’.

M: -

C: Oh Jesus Christ! You people never learn do you!?

M: Sir-

C: How much effort is to send the pizza in a different box. How much!?

M: Sir, please calm down.

C: No, seriously. Tell me. Tell me how much. I want to know!

M: Sir! Please, calm down.

C: This is absolutely ridiculous. I ask you for one thing. For one f@#king thing and you can’t even get it right.

M: Sir!!!

C: I mean, what kind of a pizza place are you? You with your bold hypocritical statements telling me why I crave pizza when you don’t even know me from a bar of soap. The arrogance-

M: Shut up!

C: What?

M: Just shut up!

C: -

M: Now look, I’ve been patient with you and I’ve tried to be reasonable with you but there’s just a limit to what I can take. Just please, take your free pizza and don’t call here again.

C: *sniff*

M: Maybe you’d be better off at another pizza place.

C: *strange squeaking sound on the other end*

M: -

C: *squeaking sound continues*

M: Sir?

C: *sounds like sobbing*

M: Sir are you crying?

C: *hangs up*

BEEP

*MANAGER puts down the phone. ATTENDANT has been standing by listening the whole time*

A: Jesus. What the hell was that?

M: I have no f@#king clue.

A: Jeez

M: -

A: Should I still put that order through?

M: Huh?

A: The free pizza you offered him. The half-half Verdure with all those changes.

M: Oh that. Yeah sure… sounds like the guy needs it. Just tell the driver to drop it off at security though. Pay somebody to take it up to his apartment. Just to be safe.

A: Yeah sure, I’ll do that.

M: Jeez, we don’t get paid enough for this crap.

A: Eh…

M: Anyways back to work. This place is buzzing tonight, no slacking on the job!

A: Yes Ma’am!

*ATTENDANT hurries off*

M: *Picks up the box and shakes head* ‘We’re the reason you crave pizza’. What a stupid line.

*MANAGER walks off*

Proof of Heaven by Dr Eben Alexander [Book Thoughts]

2013-08-24T10:47:00.004+02:00

I doubt that Proof of Heaven changed my life too much and I can't consider myself convinced, but it was worth a read if only to satisfy my curiosity.

-Imran

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Proof of Heaven by Dr Eben Alexander

Proof of Heaven is the autobiographical story of Dr Eben Alexander, a well-respected Neurosurgeon, who contracted a rare disease that put him into a near-fatal coma but survived against the odds. After his awakening, Dr Alexander has made a full recovery and claims to have seen the afterlife during his time out. It might be tempting to close this post right here and dismiss the book as spiritual hogwash but there are some particulars about Dr Alexander’s case that convinced me to read the book.

For starters, Alexander claims to have spontaneously contracted bacterial meningitis, an occurrence so rare that it’s practically unheard of. The disease put him into a coma and most who enter meningitis comas don’t ever wake up. Those who wake up after 4 days usually become vegetables, losing most of their higher order brain functions such as speech. Alexander stayed in the coma for a full week and then went on to make a full and absolute recovery, even regaining his medical knowledge.

It’s also worth noting that meningitis attacks the brain. Alexander claims that, from the scans, the disease had disabled his entire neo-cortex, the part of the brain that creates conscious experience. Because of this, he concludes that he couldn't possibly have been hallucinating.

While I did find the book and Dr Alexander’s account of the afterlife interesting, I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. Alexander does note in his book that he doesn't expect many to believe him. In fact, he notes that, being an atheist, he himself blatantly disregarded all his patients over the years who had Near-Death Experiences and claimed to have seen the afterlife. He notes the conundrum that, if someone else was in his position and claimed to have seen what he had seen, he would have a hard time believing them too. And I suppose that is the crux of the book; you read his account and, based on his arguments and the evidence, you decide what to make of it.

As for the story itself, it's told narrative style, alternating between chapters about Dr Alexander's hospitalization outside and the 'other-wordly' experience he was having at the time. The chapters are short, the account rarely dramatizes the situation and Dr Alexander sprinkles his medical knowledge in here and there to help keep you on track with the progress of his disease. It does manage to keep the reader’s interest to a reasonable degree even if the last 40 pages do drag a bit. The writing also does have that strange sincere quality of someone trying to put something into words with extreme difficulty.

But that being said, I can't consider myself convinced. I'd be prepared to read anything further from Dr Alexander but, for me, it's simply unknowable whether or not what the Dr experienced actually was the afterlife.

I doubt that Proof of Heaven changed my life too much and I can't consider myself convinced, but it was worth a read if only to satisfy my curiosity.

See you next week

Everything wrong with studying Commerce [Part 1]

2013-08-21T09:53:00.002+02:00

Tried my hand at writing a critical essay. This is the first part of a series that I'll be writing about my experiences in the Commerce Faculty at the University of Cape Town (UCT). Tried to be conversational in tone.
-Imran

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Everything wrong with studying Commerce
Part 1: Free Time (Or rather, the lack of it)

Part I: Free Time | Part II: -

Image is the property of One Thousand Words

I've got a lot of beef with the Commerce Faculty. I've been a student of Actuarial Science at the University of Cape Town for the last four years and, hopefully, within the next few months I'll be graduating and leaving this chapter of my life behind. But as I'm nearing the end of my student life there isn't a sadness that I'm leaving 'the best years of my life'. In fact, I'm pretty damn excited to go out into the real world (as opposed to the synthetic academic one); the prevailing feeling for me right now is 'good riddance'. And that's not because I've spent a decade or two at varsity. On the contrary, I've worked hard and should be able to graduate right on schedule. But even four years feels like too many at this place and as I'm nearing the end of my student life, I've become quite contemplative. In the next couple of essays I write on this topic, I'm going to delve into my some of my experiences as a UCT Commerce student and the things I'm going to take away from it. I hope that makes for good reading for whoever decided to click on the link.

So the first bone of contention I have with the Commerce Faculty in general: the downright disturbing lack of free time. This isn't a problem exclusive to Commerce but it is a problem that exists in elitist faculties that are under the impression that what they have to teach you is the most valuable thing you could possibly learn in your life.
Since my first year at UCT I've done no electives, nor have I even had time for them. Every semester since the first has been packed to the brim with 5-6 demanding courses each convinced that it's more important than all your other courses. While 5-6 may not sound too bad on paper, consider that most courses have 2 tests and 1 assignment so you're looking at in the region of 14-18 time-consuming assessments in a 12-week period followed by 5-7 exams. In my first year I had days where the standard timetable went from 8:00AM to 4:00PM with no breaks. In 2nd and 3rd year, I started at 8:00AM every day and finished at 7:00-8:00PM a few nights a week (large breaks in between).
When you count in the work required outside of lectures and tutorials, this meant that, during the semester, my life was almost entirely consumed by campus. On top of this ridiculous minimum-required workload, I was also somehow expected to study in my free time and do well with there being some really over the top requirements for me to qualify for certain courses. You might at this point be tempted to think that it's what you get when you sign up for Actuarial Science, and perhaps it is, but from what I've seen from my many friends studying Accounting (and Engineering), when you get to the later years, the absurd workload and high requirements becomes a way of life.

And I suppose what really gets me riled up about all of this is what I find myself questioning: 'What the hell is the point of it all?' One of the reasons my programme, and indeed everyone's programme, in Commerce was so jam-packed is because there are all these filler courses that you have to do. Pretty much every Commerce student has to do two years of Economics, one year of Accounts, one year of Maths, some Stats, some Law, Marketing, Finance, People Management, Evidence-Based Management, Ethics, Communication, Business Strategy etc. and those are just the extras; that doesn't include the additional 1-3 per semester for your major.
Now I understand that if you're in Commerce then learning about these fields is potentially important but do you really have to learn about all of them? There seems to be some misplaced impression up top that doing a lot of courses makes you a well-rounded and competent person. The truth is that the majority of what I learned in those filler courses I've forgotten and that 90% of what I learnt at University that was really worth learning, things that I'll keep with me for the rest of my life, came from outside of my actual courses. I learnt more from spending time with friends, experiences with people (both positive and negative) and from reading books than my studies themselves have ever taught me. There's nothing I learnt in Marketing and People Management that 5 minutes out in the real world hasn't shown me better; I read one Book in 3rd year that put Economics into better perspective for me than 2 years of mind-numbing courses. And that's why when Actuarial Risk Management 'recommends' I need to put 5 hours of my personal time each week into reading up on Actuarial Matters then I tell them to take a hike; those 5 hours a week are going into things that I want to do and that I love doing.

In many regards, that's what campus life has been like for me: one long battle to hold onto my free time. And I'd like to believe that it's a battle I've managed to win sometimes; perhaps my UCT Chronicles photos in the first three years and now One Thousand Words is proof of that. The truth, hard and fast, is that you just don't become a well-rounded or competent person by reading a textbook; most of the students I know forget their filler courses within a week of finishing the exam. You develop by pursuing things you have a genuine interest in expanding your horizons beyond the confines of whatever group, faculty or course you currently belong to. Maybe us Commerce students would be better off if our plates weren't so fully loaded. That way, we'd have more time to do the things we really enjoy, spend time with the people we care about or maybe even pick up some electives that we have a genuine interest in. Because that's how you can develop as a person: by doing things that actually matter to you… not by reading a 600-page textbook on how to be ‘good’ at Marketing.

To be continued...

Fold by Tom Campbell [Book Thoughts]

2013-08-18T12:36:00.001+02:00

Fold couldn't keep me invested past the first 10 pages. The characters seemed wimpy and irritating.

-Imran

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Fold by Tom Campbell

I would hardly call the method by which I select books 'scientific'. When I go to sales, I pretty much just pick books at random, often with no clue what they're about, because (A) I know the author or (B) I've heard admiration for the book before or (C) something about it just interests me. This might seem like a careless strategy but it's actually introduced me to some of the best books I've read thus far, including The Prince, Dorian Gray, Frankenstein, Beatrice and Virgil and many others. It's not that I buy any old crap, but giving books I otherwise would not have a read a chance has had massive payoffs for me. But of course, even convex randomness is exposed to downsides: this happens to be one of those downsides.

I picked up Fold at the Warehouse Sale because the cover caught my eye and a quick scan across the back misled me into believing it was interesting. I figured it might have some insights into the game of Poker and some interesting characters set in the extreme world of gambling. No, instead it's a book about five lovable losers (I highly contest the 'lovable' part) who meet on weekends to play Poker and have the usual 'relatable' soap-opera style problems in their lives. I can't tell you any more than that because I stopped reading about 10 pages in because it simply failed to captivate me (If you're an avid reader, 10 pages is usually enough to give an indicator of quality). I didn't particularly enjoy the writing and I found the characters either wimpy or irritating.

Seeing as I have so much else to read, I'm probably not going back to this one. So that means I'm giving it away. If you want it: post a comment below saying that you do. 24 hours after this Blog post, I'll pick someone at random and if you follow me on Twitter, follow my Blog via e-mail and Google Connect and live in South Africa, it's yours. I offer no further comment on the book, if you're interested, read the back of it below.

Fold couldn't keep me invested past the first 10 pages. The characters seemed wimpy and irritating.

EDIT: The Giveaway is closed, the winner of the book is Renton Davy. Congratulations!

See you next week