The Beless Family

The . of No Return

2014-08-05T14:38:00.003-04:00

It's fair to say I've reached the point of no return when it comes to blogging. I simply cannot retract the months it's been since my last post. I've written ~~five different sentences~~ in hopes of smoothly transitioning to an update on life and I'm convinced it simply can't be done.

the . of no return

.photo credit.

We moved 900 miles across country earlier this year. In the midst of said move…

.photo credit.

we were blessed with the news of this Little One's arrival!

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Moving to GA brought with it the joy of writing for Deeply Rooted.

>>> moving + helping him + pregnancy + business + writing >>>

demanded most of the energy I had to give for a few months,

but I'm ready to begin investing here once more. For a time anyway.

Thanks for bearing with me as I transition, yet again.

Sarah's Health Journey

2014-04-14T09:17:00.000-04:00

This is a story with which the majority of you will be able to identify. I am so grateful for my dear friend Sarah and her willingness to share it. I hope you find it as encouraging, challenging and inspiring as I did!

"A while back, Hunter asked me to write a blog about my journey with food and exercise. God has certainly taught me much over the past several years, and I know I have a long way to go still, but here’s a not-so-brief story of my experience.

I have always been interested in nutrition and exercise, so I did my best to research what is believed to be the healthiest way to live and followed it like a pro. I joined the cross country team in high school and developed a love for running--especially long distance running. I ate a generally “healthy” diet usually consisting of low-fat, whole grains, but never had to pay much attention to calorie count while running cross country. However, once I stopped running my junior year of high school I began struggling with my weight. All the weight that so easily disappeared when I was running 10 miles a day slowly began to appear and thus began the years-long struggle with balancing eating and exercise while attempting to maintain a healthy weight. I tried several different diets and counted calories religiously, which never seemed to work with quite the magic with which it is touted. I spent most of my days calculating how many calories I had already eaten and/or burned off so I stayed within my “quota” for the day, failing miserably many days. I also jumped back on the long-distance running wagon, thinking that I could beat my body into submission. Yet even with a strict diet and exercise regimen, I would find myself craving certain foods and binging from time to time, developing a very unhealthy eating pattern—skipping meals or only eating salads and other low calorie foods, so that I wouldn’t feel as bad about what I binged on the night before (mostly highly-processed, low-fat, sugary, gluten-laden “food”). I also added more and more distance to my running regimen, which was therapeutic in some ways for me, I thought of it as a stress reliever for my type-A Pre-Med college-self, but also with the underlying goal of burning off more calories. Little did I know that I was just adding more and more stress to my body. And my weight fluctuated greatly, as did my mood, as I never quite reached my goals—mostly the goal of looking just like the women on the front of Runner’s World magazine.

When I moved to Ft Hood in August 2012, Hunter asked me to train with her as she was developing her style of training. I was frustrated with recent marriage-weight-gain, and the stress-relieving, but the seemingly-weight-loss futility of running 4 miles a day and eating whole grains, so I readily agreed. To be honest, I was completely skeptical of weight-training as I did not want to add more bulk to the weight I had, but Hunter convinced me that women do not have the capacity to bulk the same way guys do. So I learned what a Romanian deadlift, back squat, and shoulder press were. I fully enjoyed the same hard workout feel that I had afterwards, without spending an hour of my day running around the track. Hunter also started telling me more about the Paleo diet, but mostly the importance of cutting gluten out of the diet… so I started looking more into that too. I cut out gluten for 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas and was amazed at how good I felt, how constant my energy was, and how stable my moods were. It was hard to find a rhythm again after returning from Christmas break, and I started a new job in April, which although I love it, certainly adds more stress to my life overall. I kept running long distances, training for a half-marathon, and tried to watch my diet, but my weight kept climbing and I fell back into eating habits similar to what I had in college-attempting to restrict calories and then binging because my cravings felt too strong. Finally in July, I was fed up with an So I finally fully took the advice I’d been listening to in the balancedbites podcast-- that Hunter got me hooked on- and started following the Paleo diet. I also finally realized that what they had been saying was true—your body doesn’t recognize between emotional or physical stress—it all raises cortisol levels which in turns causes your body to hold onto fat—definitely not the effect I was going for! I also realized that getting up early to run was putting extra stress on my body as I denied it the restorative sleep it needed after long days at the office.

arthritic knee and gaining weight despite logging over 20 miles most weeks.

Once I made the decision to make sleep a priority (at least 8 hours a night) and to strictly cut out grains and dairy from my diet, focusing on much more nutrient dense foods, I was again amazed at how much more steady my energy and focus levels were at work. I still trained for my half-marathon because I wanted to finish that, but once it was over I gladly hung up my running shoes (except for sprints) and focused on lifting again, in which my workouts at much shorter than my runs were, and are much less stressful on my body. I have truly enjoyed this shift and I can tell my body is much more in balance. And by allowing myself to get the nutrients it needs from whole foods, a variety of fresh veggies, meats, and healthy fats, without worrying about calories, I no longer feel the need to binge, and even at meals it is much easier to eat to satiety rather than eating until I am uncomfortably full. I was able to slowly introduce dairy back in, which I have found I can tolerate at low levels. My weight has steadily decreased over the past several months—and I can’t remember the last time I counted calories. I no longer fear fat—I love eating plenty of grass-fed butter and coconut oil! Lifting weights has helped me to lean out, and the build of muscle mass means that even if I have to miss a several days at the gym my weight doesn’t fluctuate the same way it did when I missed a few days of running. Also, the arthritis in my knee (for which I felt way too young!) has vanished. My husband has even commented several times on how much more ‘at peace’ I seem these past several months (I don’t think he misses the emotional swings that would accompany the weight swings). I do have to say that the Lord has answered a lot of prayers, from late high school on, as I often struggled with making food or weight loss a priority rather than Him, focusing most of my time and efforts on that. And it’s still a growing process, I still struggle with many old habits or ways of thought creeping back into my head. Yet, I am so grateful for God’s provision in transitioning me out of those terribly unhealthy, yet so-common, mindsets. And although I wouldn’t mind looking like the women on the front of Runner’s World, I (usually) no longer feel the pressure to look “perfect.” After a hard workout at the gym I am far more excited about how many pounds I squatted rather than how many calories I burned. I am constantly amazed and grateful for how much my body can do—not as much where it fails to measure up.

It is certainly a journey, but it has been fun to grow in my understanding of the human body and why we need fats to work well, why grains cause us to hold onto body fat and increase inflammation in the body. I’ve learned more about why our body really needs cholesterol, despite what we are often fed by the media. We only get one body, and I want to be able to keep using mine to its best ability for the glory of God, so I want to fuel it and train it the best way I can, and I am excited to see where that leads me in the future!"

Guest Post: Finding Freedom with Free Weights

2014-01-29T09:28:00.000-05:00

Did you know the name "Melissa" means "honeybee"? I didn't either, until I had the joy of befriending a honeybee almost three years ago. Melissa is one of my dearest friends. Her perspective helps me to better understand this life we're walking through together, as she sings of the steadfast love of the Lord & lives to proclaim His faithfulness to all generations. We started talking fitness during a program we participated in through Pine Cove called The Forge. About a year later, Mel began experimenting with lifting free weights and well, you'll just have to keep reading to get the rest of the story:

"This year I’ve been focusing most of my workouts around lifting weights. It has not only changed my perspective of working out, but has taught me lesson after lesson and it’s something I really enjoy! I was telling my dear friend, Hunter, that I’d never thought of myself as someone who could lift heavy things, mostly because I didn’t think I could ever be strong enough. There were times when I wanted to be strong, but didn’t do anything about it. Lifting weights has helped me see that I can be and that I actually am a strong woman.

Here are the top four lessons from the time I’ve spent in the gym to date:

Lesson #1

Lifting weights will never be easy.

I keep waiting for it to get easier, but it won’t become less difficult unless I stay in the same place. I have to keep adding weight to get stronger. I want to be good at everything in my life, but it’s a game changer when I know I’m never going to be stronger than the next level up. There is a lot of freedom in that thought for me.

Lesson #2

The gym is not for girls.

A friend who has been helping me with technique through some of my workouts told me that the gym isn’t for girls. At first I was a little offended because, well, I’m a girl. When he told me that I was whining, complaining, and telling him that I didn’t think I could lift what he wanted me to lift. I was acting like a little girl. But when I thought about what he was really saying and what I was doing it all clicked. The gym is not for girls. It is for strong women though, and if I choose to be a strong woman and not a girl the gym can be my playground and not my prison yard. There is freedom in acting in the light of our identity, even in the gym.

Lesson #3

Lifting is better with community.

When I did the Forge back in 2010-2011 we would workout together every Tuesday-Friday morning from 6:45-7:30. I took that time for granted every morning. Once I was out of the Forge and had moved to Granbury then to Arlington for the two years following, if I wanted to workout I would be doing it alone. Simply put, that sucked. In regards to exercise, running is the one thing I thought that I liked doing alone. Then I went on a run with a friend back in May, and I was surprised by how much more fun it was! I loved having the automatic support system that came from a workout partner. Working out with people versus working out alone changes everything. Something that I’ve noticed about myself is that when I workout alone it is so hard with very little weight and I tell myself it’s okay to skip reps or entire sets. But when I have someone there with me it is still difficult, but by having encouragement and accountability from others I can push through and carry a heavier “burden”. There’s something about community that makes things “good and pleasant” when we dwell together as opposed to choosing the Lone Ranger lifestyle.

Lesson #4

Failure is not an option it’s a guarantee.

I don’t like to fail. Like I said earlier, I love being good at things. Not only that but I like to look good doing it. That’s not the case in lifting weights though. The other day I added a semi-new move to my routine with a higher weight. I had been doing this move, but had been using dumbbells for it and this particular day I moved to the barbell. I was doing thrusters, so I cleaned the weight, squatted, and then when I went to overhead press it I hit myself in the jaw with the bar. It hurt a lot. I really could have cried if there weren’t so many people there and if my partner hadn’t said, “I think you’re going to be okay. Pick it back up and don’t forget to move your head.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but I ended up chipping my tooth and it sucked. It’s hardly noticeable for anyone else, but this goes to show that I will fail and mess up, but I can try again. I will fall, drop my weights, and chip my tooth, but I will choose to keep going because I know I can do this.

I’m so thankful for there is a bigger picture in something as seemingly menial as lifting weights. The lessons that are there for learning keep me motivated when I want to give up and make things easier on myself. I have found freedom in weight lifting. The gym that once felt like a prison cell has become my playground. There is freedom there, in being who I was made to be. And when I live in the light that freedom radiates, I can function out of the identity set before me."

What are lessons that you’re learning from your workouts that help you see the bigger picture?

Do you see your workouts as a freedom-filled playground, or as a prison yard that you would rather not step into? What are the things that need to change for you to be able to walk in freedom?

She dresses herself with strength and she makes her arms strong.

2014-01-27T22:23:00.001-05:00

Shelby contacted me & inquired about my long-distance training options a few months ago. I asked her to share her story with you, not because I'm trying to win you over in hopes that you'll inquire about my training packages (to be honest, I only have a limited number of slots available & I'm currently at capacity), but because I know that so many of you will resonate with where Shelby was at when she sent me that message. She had me cracking up as I read what she'd written, but by the end my eyes were filled with tears! Shelby, I am so proud of you for your vulnerability, your hard work & your resolve! The title of this post will forever remind me of you, "She dresses herself with strength and she makes her arms strong." [Proverbs 31] Thanks for letting me journey with you! I hope you're all as inspired by Shelby's story as I am! -Hunter

Hello All!

My name is Shelby and I’m one of Hunter’s clients. Hunter approached me not too long ago and asked if I would write a guest post on her blog about my experience with long-distance training. The first thing that ran through my mind was, ”Me? The girl who ate nothing but Fettuccini Alfredo and Chicken Strips?” But I agreed anyways! I started training with Hunter seven weeks ago and I could not be more excited as to where I’m headed. But let’s back up for a minute and I will explain where I came from.

I have been out of high school for 4 years and within those 4 years I went to college, got married, and oh, gained 50lbs! My husband and I used to eat out a lot… and when I say a lot I mean A LOT! Taco Bell was one of our favorites as well as Papa Johns Pizza. I tried numerous diets and exercise programs, but nothing was working! I tried taking these magical pills that were supposed to blast stomach fat in 3 weeks or less! If only it was that simple…I also tried some water that was supposed to give the same results and guess what!! That didn’t work either. I would go to the gym and slave away on a cardio machine for an hour and then maybe go use some of the other machines for my arms, legs, abs, etc, and I saw little-to-no results within a few months…. I was also THAT girl who would read endless amounts of information on the Internet about what you “should” and “shouldn’t” do in the gym… and let me tell you it was all SUPER confusing. One minute they would say cardio was super bad for you and all you should be doing is lifting weights and the next minute they would say weights are terrible for you, so now you just need to run 13 miles a day and you will achieve that body you always wanted…. That’s great and all, but I don’t think I will EVER be able to run that far! If your like me and have tried all of the numerous workouts and dieting tips and tricks, then you would be super fed up and frustrated too! I think at one point I just gave up all together and didn’t care anymore (which was super scary). My family on both sides comes from a long line of health issues from heart, to cancer, to obesity and I wanted NONE of that.

So, around 7 weeks ago I contacted Hunter. I was so fed up with everything and needed some direction. I decided to bite the bullet and hire a personal trainer. I was so scared as to what I had just gotten myself into. Scared that:

· I was going to fail.
· That I wouldn’t like what she had to say.
· That it was going to be too hard.
· That the diet was going to SUCK (lets face it I love food and food loves me).
· Scared that I would be miserable the whole time.

Trust me there have been moments where I thought I wouldn’t make it, but I have!

The road to where I am at now has been a rough one…. one with many “fat kid” tantrums. One time Hunter told me I cold have no sugar…. no Sweet’ n’ Low in my coffee or tea, no creamer (unless I made it myself), and no Diet Dr. Pepper… I thought she was crazy! How could I LIVE without those things! But let me tell you…. I CAN. I started off weighing 195 pounds. I am now 181.5 lbs. This is the lowest I have been in probably 2-3 years. I have gone from a size 14-16 pant to a size 12! In shirts, I have gone from a size L-XL to a size Medium. And get this: I have lost over 32 inches of fat on my entire body! I can now lift weights in the 15-30 lb ranges and squat 50 lbs! This entire journey has made me see food and exercising in a completely different way:

· I now see myself as STRONG.
· I no longer have that voice in my head telling my I’m FAT, UGLY, GROSS.
· I have realized there is more to life than French fries, chicken strips, and pasta.
· I have achieved more weight loss than ever before.
· I can eat just about anything if prepared with whole-foods in a healthy manner.

This is going to sound very cliché but I’m here to tell you that IT IS POSSIBLE. I never ever thought it would be possible to get back down to a certain size/weight but IT IS! Losing weight has to be a personal issue. YOU are the only one who can make yourself want to change. I am still in the process of shedding that extra fat, but I cant wait to see where I end up!

Picnik Austin

2013-11-12T17:41:00.004-05:00

Most of you know I'm food lover. A foodie, if you will. A connoisseur of good eats. There's no denying I'll go out of my way to find and consume fresh, quality food. That being said, a few months back I google-searched Paleo Restaurants in Austin & came across this article to find the one-and-only completely grain-free, gluten-free restaurant in city. Light shines down on the computer screen… ahh! Naturally, I pinned the article & started brainstorming ways in which I could convince Mr. Beless we needed to make a trip south to try it out!

A few weeks later my sweet friend & fellow food-enthuiast mentioned that she'd seen a restaurant in Paleo Magazine that she wanted to try. We discovered that it was indeed the same exact restaurant I'd pinned & dreamt of visiting. Thankfully, this month brings great cause for celebration, as it is Sarah's birthday month! I couldn't think of a more perfect venue in which to celebrate our friend!

My cutie friend & fellow foodie, Sarah, and her husband, Ryan.

As you can see by the menu, Picnik uses local produce and organic ingredients to create their delicious, nutrient-dense dishes. They also offer bulletproof coffees. Yum.

Mr. Beless & I split the Chorizo Quiche. I indulged in a Dirty Chai while he tested out the Bulletproof Butter Coffee. Again, yum, & 100% Paleo!

Picnik Austin, we so enjoyed our visit. Thanks for providing us with clean, celebratory sustenance as we celebrated our sweet Sarah & the friend she is to us!

Do you know of any other good restaurants that cater to the Paleo diet in the Austin area? If so, please shoot them my way! I'd love to give them a try!

Friendship 201

2013-09-29T13:40:00.000-04:00

Even though they live across the pond in the African bush, Mr. Beless & I continue to be discipled in the ways of friendship by these two.

If you don't remember, Grant & Brooks were Young Guns together at Pine Cove, chopping brush & building things, including the beginnings of a deep friendship that would carry them through three years of living together in the 1804 Leona house in College Station.

Five hundred miles north, Elizabeth & I connected through the dear old KKG house at the University of Arkansas where we roomed together for the next three years.

The four of us met, completely independently of one another, hit it off to the point of choosing to spend the rest of our lives together (in married-couple fashion), and now we're best friends, married to best friends.

As you can imagine, Grant & Elizabeth hugely impact on the way Brooks & I go about doing life, as well as our marriage. [Check out Friendship 101 for more on that.] A little over a month ago the Seifrieds returned home for some work stateside & a chance to reconnect with those they love. The four of us had been dreaming of our reunion for months prior, hoping for a place to laugh, share stories, eat well, and catch up on life. Guess what? It happened!

We realize the value of our friendship to one another & want to continue to create opportunities for continued growth, so we've planned to do a retreat of sorts at least once a year for the rest of forever. How fun is that?! I'm telling you, the thought to pray for such goodness never even crossed our minds!

The first evening of our little getaway the men asked the ladies to help brainstorm what we want these times together to look like. Pen in hand, Elizabeth scribed as we rattled off the following criteria:

-Good eats
-Guy/Girl catch up time
-Friendship & marriage review

As we continued talking, we came up with a few questions that we plan to ask each other each year during our friendship & marriage review:

-How have we loved you well as your friends?
-How can we love you better?

-What victories have you experienced in your marriage this year?
-What hardships have you undergone this year?
-In what areas have you seen or experienced growth in your marriage this year?
-What areas need work?

The next evening we had our first annual Beless/Seifried friendship & marriage review over a delicious steak dinner (bonus!). Truly, there are no words to communicate what a sweet time that was for the four of us. I am continually amazed at how life-giving it is to both know & be known. I'm sharing all of this because I want to encourage you (both married & single friends) to engage in intentional, life-giving conversations with the friends that you do have in hopes of building into & cultivating greater depth within those relationships, even if they're not best friend status (yet). It is such a valuable & time-worthy endeavor!

How do you cultivate depth of friendship within your relationships?
What questions would you want to ask or be asked if you held a friendship/marriage review of your own?

Hiding His Word in our Hearts

2013-09-25T20:13:00.000-04:00

A few days ago a friend of mine asked for ideas + tips on memorizing scripture. I'm surprised she's still my friend after my lengthy response, ha! Here's my attempt at concision: I memorize scripture because it helps me remember who I am & what I'm doing here & remembering is essential to living that out. There are endless reasons as to why you should be practicing this discipline, but the point of this post isn't to convince you, it's simply to share how you can go about doing it. I also need to preface by shouting: I did not come up with any of this on my own. All credit goes to two incredible women, Kim Vollendorf & Joyce Lasse, who were kind enough to share their methods with me when I was in college. A thousand thank you's to them both for changing my life by encouraging me to hide God's word in my heart. I hope this encourages those of you reading to do so too.

What you'll need:

.Notecards.

.Loose binder rings.

.A hole punch.

.Your Bible.

First things first: choose a verse you want to memorize! This list of verses is a great place to start. Next, it's time to set up your card.

Upper left: Reference (where you find the verse)

Upper right: Category*

Body of the notecard: The verse, written word for word

Bottom left: Days

Bottom right: Weeks

*Note: I use categories to help me categorize the verses in my mind. That way, if I'm having a conversation on the topic of the Holy Spirit, hopefully 1 Corinthians 2:12 will come to mind.

Back of card: Reference (again, where you can find the verse)*

Bottom left: Months

*Note: I write the reference on the back of the card so I can quiz myself without seeing any part of the actual verse.

Now you're all set to memorize the verse you chose. Typically, I give myself a week to memorize one or two verses. For the first few days I'll carry the notecard around in my back pocket & try to read as often as possible. Once I have a good feel for it, I write the first letter of every word on my wrist to help me out. Sounds crazy, but it works!

[1 Corinthians 2:12]

When you have the verse memorized you're ready to put it on your daily ring. You will have already committed all of the verses on your daily ring to memory, but it's important to review them to make sure you have them down-pat. Plus, reviewing + meditation help to transition the words from your head to your heart.

Review your daily ring verses 1x/day for 50 days.

I use tally's to keep track of where I'm at in the process.

Remember to continue adding the new verses you memorize to the daily ring.

Once you've reviewed the verses on your daily ring for 50 days, you're ready to transition them to a weekly ring.

You will review the verses on your weekly ring 1x/week for 50 weeks.

I've found it helpful to choose one day of the week to review the verses on your weekly ring.

For me, that day is Sunday!

At this point, you've probably guessed what comes next: a monthly ring!

Review the verses on your monthly ring 1x/month for 50 months.

Again, it's helpful to be consistent and choose a date (like the 1st Sunday of the month) on which to review your monthly ring.

Finally, after reviewing your monthly ring for 50 months you'll move your verses to a semester ring that you will review 1x each semester. I don't have a photo because I haven't actually made it to that point yet. ;)

The Verses Project is an incredible resource that my friend Suzanne shared with me. A compilation of Christian artists recorded songs of straight scripture. It's word-for-word & it's all free, so start downloading that goodness immediately!

Reviewing gets a bit more complex once you start memorizing chapters & books, but this is a great place to start! Have you ever memorized Scripture? If so, what helps you hide His Word in your heart?

Top 10 Fitness Misconceptions Debunked

2013-09-11T17:45:00.000-04:00

I’ve noticed a trend in new clients: most come into personal training with the same misconceptions. Thankfully we're able to work through these misconceptions together, but it kills me to look around the gym & see the remaining 90% of women (whose goals are probably fat loss & toning) gliding on elliptical machines or doing 50+ triceps extensions with a 3lb dumbbell in hopes of building a lean & lovely physique. Why do I care? Because they’re wasting their time & I know how little of it they have to spare! Don’t worry; I’ll restrain myself from handing out cards with a link to this blog post, but I know these ladies continue doing what they’re doing simply because they don’t know any better. In my Toothpick Arms series on body image I encouraged you all to educate yourselves on proper training & nutrition in order to improve your overall health, both mentally & physically. As promised, I want to share with you a few of the things I wish I would have known back when I too was queen of the elliptical.

1. Measuring your weight on a scale is not a good indicator of health.

We’ve been conditioned to step on the scale to track our progress or to maintain our weight. The problem is that scales do not reveal fat loss. Contrary to popular belief, muscle doesn’t actually weigh more than fat (a pound of muscle is still a pound, and the same goes for fat), however, muscle is more dense than fat. For example, I look a lot better weighing in at 135 than I did at 130 & I can say the same for a lot of women I’ve worked with in the gym. Check out this post by Nia Shanks if you want to see some great photo documentation to enhance my point. I encourage clients to come up with a new way of tracking their progress, like picking out a favorite pair of jeans they’d like to wear & trying them on every other week, or keeping track of their circumference measurements. Here is a list of other ways to weigh your progress.

2. Rest is an integral part of achieving your fitness goals.
Did you know that a lack of sleep can actually cause weight gain by affecting the way your body processes & stores carbohydrate? Or that sleep deprivation alters hormone levels that affect your appetite? It also adversely affects other important areas of our lives like learning, memory, energy levels & mood while contributing to increased inflammation! Yikes! Draw the blinds, dim the lights, turn off the electronics, & shoot for at least 8-10 hours of sleep every night. Here are some additional tips on how to increase the quantity & quality of sleep you're getting.

3. Nutrition & how you fuel your body plays a more significant role in body composition than working out.

As important as it is to be active & workout, it’s even more important to fuel your body with high-quality, nutrient-dense foods that promote health. Think about it like this -- nutrition is comparable to the gas needed to fuel a vehicle. Without it, you won’t be getting very far. If the fuel you put into your vehicle is polluted or tainted in any way you might not see the effects at first, but over time it will affect the performance & lifespan of the vehicle itself. We want our proverbial “vehicles” running on premium-grade fuel to enhance our quality of life.

4. Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to food.

Most of us have adopted a “calories-in, calories-out” approach to eating & we spend a great deal of energy trying to count those little guys in order to keep them under control. It’s kind of an unfair battle we’re fighting, as many of the foods promoted in a standard American diet are not high in nutrients, meaning we may be consuming what’s considered to be an adequate amount of calories, but never actually taking in the proper nutrition. We have a built-in mechanism to tell us when that’s taking place: hunger. So, when you’re not exposing your body to the nutrients it needs in order to function optimally, you’ll feel hungry, which leads you to eat more, & more, & well, you get the picture. Instead of counting calories, we need to focus on fueling our bodies with high-quality foods. Then our bodies will recognize when we have the proper nutrition in order to function & we will only eat when we’re hungry.

Note: the meat was all in the fridge, but you better believe it's there!

5. Long distance cardio isn’t the best way to go about building a lean body.

Most women go to the gym with the goal of losing fat & toning. Unfortunately, they turn to loads of cardio in order to achieve that look. What most of them don’t know is that long-distance running & extensive aerobic exercise causes your body to produce more of the stress hormone: cortisol. This can be a recipe for disaster, as the body’s response to excess cortisol is storing fat, usually around the midsection. What’s the alternative to long aerobics classes or running long distances? Lifting heavy, sprinting, & walking.

6. Lifting heavy weights will not make you big or bulky.

Excess body fat makes you look big & bulky, not muscle. Additionally, women do not have the hormonal composition required to really “bulk-up" unless they ingest it on purpose. Strength training with heavy weights will enable you to build lean muscle, which will in turn increase your metabolism & actually help you to burn body fat. Sounds like a great recipe for achieving the lean look you’ve been striving towards!

7. Machines aren’t your friends.

You see dozens of them in the gym + ladies flocking towards them after they finish gliding on the elliptical. Most machines force your body to move in patterns that do not promote intramuscular coordination & stabilization, like using free weights would do. Ditch the machines & grab some free weights to train your body in a way that utilizes & improves movement patterns to promote optimal & functional performance.

8. Working big, compound lifts (squats, deadlifts, bench press, rows, etc) offer more bang-for-your-buck than working isolated lifts (triceps extensions, biceps curls, crunches, etc). There’s a common misconception that working a specific muscle group will burn or use fat around that muscle. For example, if you have a flabby stomach & you do loads of crunches/sit-ups will help you eliminate belly fat. Wouldn’t it be strange to see a woman with really defined abs rocking excess amounts of body fat in her arms & legs? Lean, well-muscled, healthy bodies equate to an overall healthy package. You can target your “problem areas” by striving to achieve overall health instead of working isolated movements.

9. More isn’t always better when it comes to working out.

This is for the gym rats that are frequently pulling two-a-days, for the group fitness groupies & for those of you who are in the gym huffing & puffing 6 out of 7 days each week. Though you might be able to sustain it for a time, there are very few athletes who have the capacity to preform this kind of activity long-term. You will likely find yourself experiencing adrenal fatigue or an injury that could require years of recovery. Instead, try strength training 2-3 days a week, sprinting & taking long walks.

10. Coaching and personal training isn’t just for newbies.

Even the most highly recognized athletes & trainers have coaches. In fact, I have my mentor, Sasha Brainerd, to thank for exposing me to the majority of the information I’ve included in this post. As with most areas in our lives we need to ask someone (preferably an expert) to make sure we’re doing things well, especially when it comes to something as important as training the one-and-only body we’ve been entrusted in this life! If you’re trying to figure things out on your own, you will probably end up wasting time & put yourself at risk for injury. I understand that not everyone can afford to hire a personal trainer, but there are some really great (free) resources online! Here are a few of my favorites to get you started: The Girls Gone Strong, Charles Poliquin, Jason Seib, Jason Ferruggia & Mobility WOD. You can also message me at hunter.beless@gmail.com for more information about online coaching & programming if that’s something you’re interested in!

My fitness mentor & me

What did I miss? What common mistakes have you made or seen others make when it comes to health & fitness? Have you fallen prey to any of these misconceptions in the past? If so, which one(s)? Choose 1-2 of the suggestions you want to incorporate as you move forward in your journey towards healthy living.

Hello, Willy Wilson

2013-09-10T11:26:00.002-04:00

The day after we returned from our East Coast Adventure I headed to Austin to pick up the newest addition to our family. It's about time I introduce him to you all. Say hello to Willy Wilson.

6 weeks

Mr. Beless & I have had a lot of fun with this little guy. You would laugh at our attempts to train him. We invested in a clicker & spent hours on YouTube trying to educate ourselves. I've called little Wilson's breeder twice to pick her brain about what we're doing & whether or not she thinks it will be effective. If this is any indication as to whether or not I'll be a nervous new mom if/when we have kiddos, we're in trouble, folks.

12 weeks

We had some couple-friends over for dinner about a week after we adopted the little guy. They knew that it was Brooks' idea to get a dog this time around (those of you that have been following along for the past year know that our last attempt at dog-ownership didn't go over so well), and they asked what prompted his decision.

14 weeks (they sure do grow up fast, ha!)

Brooks said that he'd heard me say it's nice to have something breathing in the house while he's gone, but that he didn't really understand that until I went up to Oklahoma for a few weeks to help prep for my sister's wedding. He said that experience made him want to get a little pup to keep me company while he's away. I do believe that's the sweetest thing I've heard in a long time. And to top it off, he leaves little notes like this when he heads out to the field.

My man got me a Pomeranian to watch out for me when he's away. I don't know that Wilson will be a great watchdog, but he sure is a fun (and cute!) little shadow. Thanks for my pup, Babes!

For the military spouses out there--what keeps you company when your husbands are deployed, out in the field training, or pulling staff duty?

Cape Cod

2013-08-19T08:42:00.001-04:00

I apologize in advance for the melancholy tone of this post. It’s just that I’m lamenting the fact that Mr. Beless & I aren’t soaking up the sun on Craigville Beach in The Cape right now. In fact, I’m biting my tongue as I type to prevent my pleading thoughts (to turn our vehicle around & head back north) from escaping my lips! Hands down, Cape Cod was my favorite leg of our east coast adventure. This little pocket of the US has perfect weather this time of year, crisp air, beautiful beaches, ocean water & (get this) an abundance of hydrangeas (my favorite flower in all the world). It’s a miracle I didn’t beg our extended family (who actually live in this beautiful part of the country) to take us in on the spot (believe me, it crossed my mind). I’ve spent the past six hours of our drive to DC conducting tactical planning for “Operation Cape me if you Cod.”

Our time in Washington DC, NYC, Boston & Cape Cod was wonderful, but spending two full weeks with with my sweet husband was the best part about the whole thing! I continue to grow in love, admiration & respect for Brooks & I couldn't be more grateful for the man that he is. Adventuring through life together is the absolute best. Looking forward for more to come!

Boston, MA

2013-08-15T10:46:00.000-04:00

Our time in Boston felt a lot like a Wednesday, like we'd reached the brink of our week & we were headed downhill for the weekend. The difference is that Hump Day usually leads to something good, but in our case it's brought us one step closer to the end of our east coast adventure. Tear.

Anyway, I'm drying it up, because there's a lot of fun ahead & lots to recap as well! The city of Boston is charming. I love the history, the architecture, the food & most of all, the accents. I couldn't cap-cha the accents fah-ya, but I did take some snapshots of our time in the city.

The Boston Common- a park about a block away from our hotel.

Copley Square

Something old & something new.

The Massachusetts State House

Boston Harbor

Our friends Amanda & Grace met us in the city.

We did a little sightseeing & a lot of catching up.

Freedom Trail

Quincy Market

The public library (I'd be here all the time if we lived in Boston).

Boston Tea Kettle

Harpoon Brewery

Not pictured: Harvard, Cambridge & the delicious Mr. Bartley's Gourmet Burgers. We like you, Boston, and we hope to come back someday. Next up, we're meeting the extended Beless family in Cape Cod. Wee!

The Big Apple

2013-08-12T09:54:00.000-04:00

We received a warm welcome from the lady working the toll booth after we paid $13 to drive into the city, "GO!!! Go on!" New Yorkers are as direct as they come. But really, with the exception of a few (like the crabby lady in the toll both) they've been quite friendly. But let's be real, sitting in that small, confined box all day & praying to God nobody rams into it with their vehicle would take a toll on anyone (pun intended). And then there was the guy attempting to reserve a parking spot on the street by standing in it. Brooks & I thought he was helping us parallel park until we heard, "BACK INTO ME! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" Once we found a parking spot, we dropped off our bags & hurried off to Times Square to land some discount tickets to a Broadway show. Now, I believe "He [God] will prepare you for what He has prepared for you," but nothing in this introvert's history served as preparation for the mass amount of tourists crammed into one block, taking photos & trying to figure out where they're going all at once. Somewhere along the way conversing with Mr. Beless waned, which prompted him to ask whether or not I was okay (more than once). I felt like a baby experiencing a jumperoo with flashing lights, loud music & little toys dangling in my face for the first time: excited, but totally overstimulated. I could give you the play-by-play of our time in the city, but I will let pictures do the talking.

Brooklyn in the distance

Lunch under a bridge, overlooking the waters off of Sea Gate//we've packed most of our lunches to save $$ & eat well.

Trinity Church on Wall Street

Ground Zero

Washington Square Park

Union Square Farmers Market
[swoon]

Picnic in Central Park

Bare feet in Central Park

Next on the agenda for our little east coast adventure? The Beless family does Boston! Have you been? Drop us a few of your favorite things to do so we can check them out!

Washington D.C.

2013-08-08T20:34:00.000-04:00

Mr. Beless & I have spent the past three days walking the sidewalks of Washington D.C. (mostly in our Chacos, of course). I've never been to the city, so we did a lot of touristy sightseeing things. As an added bonus, Brooks' Grammy & Gramps have lived in the area for over 20 years. They were kind enough to host us & let us in on a few of the local insiders.

The best walking shoes

Gramps & Grammie's lovely home

We shared some delicious dinners + great convo on this back porch.

Relaxing after sightseeing

The Capital + Mr. Beless

My turn!

The White House

Lincoln's Memorial

Monticello

Arlington Amphitheater

Arlington Cemetery

Our D.C. visit has been the perfect way to kick off our east coast adventure!

Next up, NYC! My friend Kelly created a guide to the city that we'll be using to help us along the way.

Do you have any suggestions as to what we should do + see during our time in the Big Apple?

Pathfinder School, All-Natural Body Care & Caffeine Withdrawal

2013-07-29T13:40:00.001-04:00

For the past three weeks Mr. Beless has been spending his days learning how to calculate drop zones & jumping out of helicopters in Pathfinder School. He graduated last Friday (I'm so proud) & made the long drive home from Georgia to Texas. Here are a few photos... obviously, this is not your average day job.

Poor husband returned to his wife that's been testing out all-natural deodorant, shampoo, conditioner & facewash. Yes, you read that right. I'm washing my hair with baking soda & apple cider vinegar these days. Who am I? To make matters worse, I'm also in the process of weaning myself off caffeine & I feel a little bit like punching a wall or crawling back into bed for the rest of the day. This has been a long time coming. Coffee & I have been well acquainted for over a decade. I'm the girl that climbs into bed excited to wake up the next morning for my mug of caffeinated goodness. Going to Starbucks has been the highlight of my week for years. But the more I study health & nutrition the more I'm beginning to understand the negative side effects of caffeine consumption. For more on that look here, here, and here. I'd been mulling over the idea + progressively weaning myself off the stuff for months when about a week ago I received a text from my foodie & fitness enthusiast friend, Jenn, that said, "But I don't want to quit caffeine to lower my cortisol levels!!!" This led to a series of exchanges in which we both agreed to break up with coffee on August 1. Wahh. I'm being a bit of a baby about it.

Nothing says "Welcome home, husband!" like an all-natural, caffeine-deprived, Amazon woman! But really, we've been so grateful for a few days together & thankfully he hasn't disowned me for my scent (yet). Brooks is heading out to the field for the remainder of the week, but we're looking forward to two weeks of adventuring the east coast together when he returns. Thanks for your continued prayers while he is away!

Something Added.

2013-07-16T17:53:00.000-04:00

I snuggled up to my big man & lay my head on his chest. A tear slipped out one eye & rolled down into the other, which turned on the slow trickle that's hard to cut off once it gets going. Breathing in & out I told myself the same thing I'd said over & over as we approached this day, "It's only a month and the sooner it starts, the sooner it's over." At least this isn't Ranger School all over again, or even worse: a 9-month deployment. My mind drifted to my neighbors who recently kissed their husbands goodbye until next summer. Whew, a few weeks apart is nothing in comparison.

Regardless, whether a day, a week, or for months at a time, I do not like doing life without Mr. Beless by my side. Our last extended time apart took place in February when he went to NTC, a deployment training center in the desert of California. To be honest, that one didn't go so well for me, which elicited some anxiety as we approached yet another period of physical separation. I prayed a lot, talked with other Army wives, and tried to be proactive in developing a healthier approach so that it wouldn't be broadsided again. My theme for the month became, "Something added," instead of, "Something's missing."

Last time Brooks was away I really believed I was missing out on something I deserved. That's a pretty dreary way of doing life for a month, especially since time with Brooks is a gift, not something I deserve. This time I've tried to look for the undeserved gifts that God has given to me and oh my, they are abundant!

[Plus some mental pictures of time spent with Meredith/Reece/Kimberly/Suzanne!]

The best part is that all of the 'somethings added' point to the One Who gives & gives & gives:

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

Catch Phrases, Strykers & Machine Guns

2013-07-03T20:46:00.000-04:00

This post is mostly for you, Dad. That's the cue for the rest of you to hit the 'back' button on your browsers before reading any further. Anyway, if you're still hanging, I warned you. And if you're a pacifist or gun control advocate, well, I'm sorry.

When you're married to a military man you hear lots of catch phrases like, "I'm going to the field," (What field?) or, "Today we have a live fire range," (Oh no! Do we need to call the fire department?) or, "This week we have platoon sticks," (Can I play too?). As military spouse, I (kind of) have an idea as to what these phrases mean, but I don't have many personal experiences to attach the phrases to in my brain. Well, last weekend I had an experience. We arrived at Brooks' troop & he showed me the vehicle they use to get from place to place: a Stryker. Brooks is currently in a cavalry unit, so these are their modern-day horses of steel.

We climbed inside & strapped on these fashionable helmets that enabled us to talk to each other while the Stryker was moving about. Don't worry, all the other passengers were sticking their heads out of the Stryker's hatches [like this]...

so nobody saw me take this lame-o take a selfie.

When we arrived at the range we learned how to shoot machine guns. What?! I have a pretty exaggerated fear of loud noises, so Mr. Beless encouraged me to double up on the ear pro (Army slang for ear protection... how cool am I?).

A little video footage...

[Note: you have to be on a comp to actually watch it.]

Now I know why husband is 8:30-bedtime-tired when he gets home from the range! My energy was totally zapped after spending just five hours in the sun. Regardless, it was (literally) a blast!

Speaking of blasts--hope you all have a happy & safe Fourth of July!

Part IV: The Top Ten

2013-07-01T23:01:00.004-04:00

It's no secret that I've majorly struggled with body image. You've heard my story & thoughts on the importance of laying a good foundation as we approach this topic. As we make our way towards the more practical side of things, remember that Jesus is the only One who can bring about any lasting change in our hearts. Let's open ourselves up to the One who brings freedom & healing and ask Him to use these simple disciplines to help us to walk out his command to eat & drink & do everything for His glory.

1. Ask God to give you eyes to see yourself as He sees you.
My mom is as blind as a bat. When I was little I loved to put on her glasses & bump my way around the house. She would tell me, "You'd better not keep those on for long or you'll hurt your eyesight!" How long have you been viewing your body through the lens of what our culture + media says is beautiful? If you're like me, your vision has been impaired from wearing the wrong prescription. Our eyes need to adjust to the Biblical stance on our physical bodies. It's like putting on God's glasses before we look in the mirror. Remember, He's given you a Book full of the way He sees you! Pick out a few verses in regard to body image that resonate with you. As we both know, you'll probably need them when you least expect it, so it's best if you commit them to memory so you'll be ready to face those toothpick arm moments & lovingly respond to yourself in truth.

Evidence that I did at one time wear glasses. Disclaimer: They were actually fake.

Here are a few of my go to's:

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." [1 Corinthians 6:19-20]

"... Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." [Romans 12:1-2]

2. Set mental & physical boundaries for yourself.
Have you ever nodded off or looked down at your phone while driving down the highway? What happens? You hear the sound of your tires treading on a boundary line that was put in place to say, "Hey! Stay on track!" If you cross over the boundary line, your vehicle + it's precious cargo are headed in the wrong direction. Structures & boundaries keep us in safe places. To build on the previous point, it's important to establish those boundaries under the authority of the Word. Use Truth to help you establish healthy boundaries in regards to the mental & physical avenues you want to explore. The boundaries won't keep you from sin, but they will keep you in safe places in which sin will be exposed, challenged & encouraged.

Here are examples of some of mine:

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." [Philippians 4:8]

Coming out of my eating disorder, one of the physical boundaries I set for myself was that I absolutely would not regurgitate after eating. Pretty simple. Years later, I don't even have to think about this boundary anymore, but I remember the season in which my proverbial tires treaded across those boundary lines all too often.

3. Ask a friend & a mentor to help you live within those boundaries.
Sarah & I shared a box-sized dorm room at the University of Arkansas our freshman year. I told her that I struggled with bulimia & anorexia throughout high school & asked her to hold me accountable to no longer walking in those destructive behaviors. During that year I gained 20+ lbs. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to sneak to the bathroom & return to my old ways. Sarah's friendship & accountability saved me from doing that. Though she never confronted me verbally (that I can remember, she may correct me after reading this), I knew she was watching & that she would talk to me if I drifted outside of the boundaries that I'd set for myself... outside of the 'safe place.' Find one or two people that are doing life closely with you & share your struggle with them. Ask them to hold you accountable to the boundaries you've established for yourself. I would also encourage you to find someone that's fought this battle a little longer than you, and ask them to do the same.

Chatting in the 'box' freshman year with one of my bests, Kristen. Sarah actually took this photo.

4. Take care of your body.
In true extremist fashion, I swung to the opposite side of the pendulum after I'd obsessed over my size for such a long time. Instead of starving myself, I went to Steak' N' Shake to indulge in a delicious ice cream treat with my girlfriends at least once or twice a week. And let's not forget about the love affair we all had with TGIF's artichoke spinach dip. While the anthem of the majority of girls on our dormitory floor was, "We're gonna get crunk (crazy-drunk)," my friends & I would run up & down the hallways with Twinkies yelling, "We're gonna get fat!" Cool, right? I'll just leave that up for your discretion. Here's the deal. You've been given a body: one body. How you treat yours it is a question of stewardship. If we are supposed to be 'prepared for any good work,' being fit & healthy can be essential elements of effectiveness. Obviously there are some who have medical issues that fall under the providence of God & are outside of their control, but for the majority, how often we exercise & the foods we chose to eat are a matter of choice for which we'll be held accountable.

Stewarding my body well (ha) via the colligate discipline of the 'all-nighter.' Something I practiced all too often.

5. Educate yourself so that you'll be able to do #4 well.
Like I said, I've always been an all-or-nothing kinda gal: from caring too much, to not caring at all. During my college years I prided myself in not caring (even though I did) & for spending my time in ways that felt more spiritual than working out & eating right. I took the typical sorority-girl approach to health & fitness: late nights, early mornings, peanut butter, apples, granola, & the elliptical. Surely the less I thought about fitness, nutrition & health, the healthier my perspective would be in regards to body image, right? Wrong! My relationship to my body has improved the more I know about it! Though I don't bat a thousand on any given day, educating myself in regard to nutrition & exercise has helped me to act more rationally, as opposed to acting out of emotion. Here's what I mean: instead of emotionally eating (because I feel a certain way) & emotionally exercising (because whatever I've eaten has made me feel fat), I now know what my body needs & try my best to fuel it accordingly. My hope is to write a post solely devoted to this topic + the things I've learned through my study of personal training + nutrition because I just have too much to say. If that interests you, stay tuned!

6. Keep your eyes on your own body.
Stop comparing yourselves, people! We all know it breeds dissatisfaction. Let's take a jog down memory lane to high school biology. Each of us has a genetic predisposition towards one of the following body types: mesomorphs, endomorphs, or ectomorphs. I have classified myself as an endo-mess: falling somewhere in the camp of muscular + round tendencies. I will never be an ectomorph. It is not physically possible. Trust me, I've tried. Even when I was drinking smoothies for food + running many, many miles a day I did not and could not look like an ectomorph. But I kept trying, because somewhere in my brain I'd labeled the ectomorph as the ideal. For all you ectomorphs out there, I'm not hating, but you are favored by society and all clothing manufacturers. You are. And you know what I've realized after having tried on hundreds of pairs of jeans before finding a brand that actually fits my endo-messy figure? It is okay.

7. Embrace who you are.
There was something marvelous about embracing my endo-mess booty. I stopped chasing after the elusive stick legs that I so badly desired & let me tell you that was a relief in and of itself! We were created by an Artist that makes no mistakes. He created you in His image [Genesis 1:27], fashioned you [Genesis 2:2], formed you, & knit you together [Psalm 139]. Do you realize that when you look into the mirror & pick yourself apart, it's like you're saying, "I don't like what you did here, God. It's not what I would have done." I used to be fixated on the cellulite that exists underneath my derrière. I would look into the mirror, turn around, and stare at it. "If that would just disappear, then I could be happy with myself and rock my swimsuit bottoms with ease." I shared this thought with a friend of mine who suggested that instead of looking at the one thing I wish I could change when I looked into the mirror, to look at all of the things that I actually liked about myself. So I started looking at those things and praising God for them like David did in in the Psalms when he said, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." You know what's funny? Doing that transformed the way that I approached the mirror. Instead of walking up to it with a critical eye, looking for imperfections, I now see beauty.

8. Ditch the bathroom scale & find new ways to measure success.
If your heart is beating faster & beads of sweat are forming on your upper lip, this is for you. If you weigh yourself on a daily basis & freak out when the number fluctuates by 2 pounds, this is for you. If you are still chasing after the number you saw on the scale your senior year of high school, this is for you. Here's the challenge: Ditch the scale for 60 days & brainstorm new ways to measure success during that time frame. Get creative! Make it something you actually want to be able to do! Acting proactively (as opposed to reactively by stressing out over the number you see on the scale) will move you towards developing a healthier body image (as opposed to away). For example: By the end of the July, I want to be able to do 10 dead-hanging pull ups (neutral grip for all you gym rats). Sometimes I set weightlifting goals, like learning a certain lift, or lifting a certain weight by a certain time. One of my friends has a goal of maxing out the Army PT test.

Here are some more examples:
-Experiment in the kitchen with (#) new, healthy recipes by (x) date.
-Go on a walk (#) days this month.
-Be able to dead lift your body weight (don't use this as an excuse to jump on the scale, cheaters ;) by (x) date.
-Commit to sleeping 8 hours every night for the next (#) days.
-Ask a fitness friend to teach you something new in the gym.
-Learn how to do a handstand.
ETC! The possibilities are endless ;)

9. Speak positive things to yourself.
One of my dear friends + mentors has two little girls. She told me that she promised herself, her husband & her daughters that she wouldn't speak negatively about her body. Instead, she speaks positively about the way God created her & looks for ways to compliment her daughters on their inner beauty, their character. Most of us learned from our mamas how to view our bodies, whether good or bad. The things we speak when we look into the mirror have a surprisingly large impact on what we believe to be true about ourselves. Maybe you've learned the art of scrutinization or to view yourself as inferior. It's not too late to develop new behaviors.

10. Strive for humility in the way that you view your body.
When we're caught up in self-consciousness, we're caught up in ourselves. We aren't free to love our neighbors when we're stuck spending all of our time obsessing over ourselves & worrying about what other people think about us. But our goal shouldn't just be to think less of ourselves. Beth Moore said something that I memorized & reminded myself of often during the beginning phases of my journey, "A prevailing sense of inferiority is just another form of self-absorption." Gospel-centered humility isn't thinking more or less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less [Keller]. How can we do that? By having an accurate picture of who we are. We might be able to get ourselves together and make it work for a little while, but apart from the Spirit, we will undoubtedly fail. In fact, I think we're all admitting at this point that we've already been there. And even if we could do it without Him, we'd just end up worshipping ourselves again by exalting our own methods + abilities, instead of exalting the One who is worthy of praise + adoration. Strive to view yourself as you are: one who desperately needs Jesus.

When you find yourself staring a toothpick arms moment in the face, take heart knowing that there is hope! You can develop a healthy view of yourself. What if all of us determine to do so, through the power of the Holy Spirit and by the authority of the Word? Can you imagine what will happen when we begin courageously saying "no" to what the world deems beautiful, and start saying "yes" to God's ideal? Or when we stop wasting our time scrutinizing ourselves in the mirror & focus our energy toward pursuing freedom, moderation & health for God's glory? What will happen?! Worship.

Sisters, by the mercies of God, present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable & perfect. [Romans 12:1-2]

Part III: The Foundation

2013-06-23T23:16:00.001-04:00

In part II of this series I shared about a season of life in which I believed I’d be happier if I achieved certain physical standards. To be fair, I didn’t put it into words quite like that, but my actions were an indication of the lies I believed. A large sum of my thoughts and behaviors were centered on pursuing physical beauty. I’d attached onto this ideal and believed, “Once I have that, then I’ll be happy.”

Here’s where I went wrong: I had accepted what society portrays as beauty, as opposed to understanding that beauty is a subjective decision. What does that mean? Simply put, you decide what is beautiful. Instead of making that decision for myself, I looked to others to make it for me, and then tried to measure up to the standards they had set. Therein lies the true heart issue with which I was dealing: a deep longing for acceptance & approval from man. If you take a good thing & make it an ultimate thing, or more fundamental to your significance & your security than God, you have made it an object of worship. That's exactly what I did with my physical appearance. I was more concerned with the attributes I thought would make me valuable and worthy before people than I was concerned with what makes me valuable and worthy before God. The bulk of my self worth revolved around my perceptions of what people thought about me.

Have you ever found yourself there, feeling trapped & enslaved to an unreachable standard with no way out? You don’t have to anymore, because there is an escape that will never fail you. There is One who sees you, in all of your flaws & imperfections, and deeply loves & accepts you. In fact, He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die to put an end to this fleeting pursuit of self-justification & approval seeking. What’s even better, He doesn’t just deal with you, He delights in you.

I did not begin to see myself as one who could be delighted in until I finally abandoned finding my value & worth in anything other than Jesus. I can say with confidence that the admiration & approval of man doesn’t hold a candle to His. This Truth is the foundation on which we will build a framework to establish and maintain a healthy view on body image as we continue this series. It’s the only thing that will stand up against any of our ‘toothpick arm’ moments. While positive self-talk, carefully structured plans or even tried and true coping mechanisms might help you feel less trapped, ultimately they are just treating symptoms. He is the One who will actually address the problem. He is the One who will keep us from stumbling & will cover over the days when we fall.

How many of your thoughts and actions throughout the day are centered around the pursuit of physical beauty? Are you looking to someone or something other than Jesus to find your self worth? When you take off the makeup, the carefully selected clothes, the high-paying job or “supermom” status, what is left? Who is at the core of who you are?

//Click here to read Part IV of the series//

Part II: The Journey

2013-06-19T17:59:00.002-04:00

Third grade is about as far back as I can remember. Once or twice a week, the girls in my class would hold a beauty pageant on the playground during lunch. In hopes of placing first, I slept in curlers & dressed in my nicest clothes, but I almost always took runner-up. In my mind, it was because the true beauty queen had smaller thighs than me (I noticed this while sitting next to her on the bus) & she only weighed 49 lbs. I weighed 57. I distinctly remember stepping onto the scale during fitness week & wishing to God the coach would let me take off my Doc Martins to weigh again (I am still convinced those things way at least 4 lbs).

That very year-I am the second from the left

Fast forward to junior high, when the track & field coach publicly hollered, "Ochsner, you're going to be a good little athlete once we get that baby fat off of you!" I quit track the next day. The next year, I was given a nickname based on the size of my derrière.

For many, the transition from middle to high school enabled a redefining of self. I seized that opportunity, no longer wanting to be known for the size of my God-given rear end. I developed a pattern of running far & fast down our country roads after eating, until my body responded by regurgitating. This behavior spiraled into an eating disorder that dictated my thoughts & actions for the next three & a half years. I went from a healthy 5'6" 125 lb eighth grade girl, to an unhealthy 110 lb senior in high school.

Senior prom

I learned from experience that being 'skinny' wasn't all it was cracked up to be. At a size 2 & whopping 110 lbs I was still dissatisfied when I looked into the mirror. I knew I didn't want my desire to be skinny to rule my every waking thought. So slowly (not surely), I began eating whole foods again. The problem was that even a carrot stick made me feel like I'd gained 5 lbs. But all I could see was the number on the scale shooting upward at a rapid pace. I gained 20-25 lbs my freshman year of college. Let that sink in. I grew two pant & bra sizes. Here, let me give you a visual.

My roommate & me freshman year of college.

Huge, right? NO way! Healthy! I felt ginormous, but I was determined to no longer be ruled by my desire to be thin. Looking back, I could see that I was just as unhappy with myself at 110 lbs as I was at 135 lbs. That's when it when it hit me: the number I see on the scale should not and cannot determine my happiness. Duh. So why do we look there there for satisfaction? And if happiness isn't found there, where can we find it? This is the direction we're headed in the coming days, ladies, so stay tuned.

Why am I sharing this with all of you? Because I want you to know you're not alone, and I want to encourage you to be honest with yourself about your story and your relationship with food. How can we begin to move forward without being truthful about where we've been? And since I'm being honest with you, my only request as you read is that you are honest with yourself about where you are now. Remember, none of us have 'arrived.'

What instances have shaped the way you think about your body? Are you looking to the number on the scale or on the tag in your jeans to bring satisfaction or fulfillment? Do you find freedom or fear in letting go of an ideal?

Take some time to think about your own story: where you've come from, where you're at, & where you're headed. Love journeying with you all...

//Click here to read Part III of the series//

Part I: I Miss My Toothpick Arms

2013-06-18T22:51:00.002-04:00

Last week I shared conversations with two beautiful women. Both of them have beautiful hearts, magnetic personalities & turn heads when they walk into a room. Both also admittedly struggle to like their bodies. Exaggerations aside, I find myself in conversations like this on a weekly basis, if not more often than that. I usually walk away from them feeling frustrated,

"How can she possibly think she's fat? She wears a size four," or, "Why does she obsess over calorie counting? Doesn't she know her body will tell her what she needs if she's faithful to give it an adequate amount of nutrients?"

Hear me when I say I am in no way frustrated with the individuals that divulge their hearts' struggles to me. However, I do resent the way we've been raised, culturally, to think about our bodies.

A few days later I was trying on ball gowns to figure out what to wear to our Squadron ball (it's an Army thing). As I looked into the mirror I began to scrutinize my body, "I miss my toothpick arms," I told Brooks, tears welling. He laid down on the floor like he always does when he can tell I need to be loved on, and patted his chest, signaling me to sit down on his tummy.

"Babes, I love your body. I love your strong arms. You are a capable, fit woman."
"Do you like my strong arms better than my toothpick arms?"
"Of course, Babes. I like you just the way you are."

His reassuring words weren't enough to talk me off the proverbial cliff. Thoughts like, "I should just go back to running on the elliptical & counting calories,"and, "Maybe I should just cut back on my food intake until the ball," crawled their way into my brain like the nasty roaches we are battling here in Texas (shudder)... I was convinced: I need my toothpick arms in order to look desirable!

Toothpick Arms vs. Tree Branch Arms... See the difference? Yeah, me neither now that I look at it.

Here's my point: every woman, whether she's a size four, or a size fourteen, struggles, has struggled, or will struggle with body image. You know what's funny? When I was the smallest in my life, I actually struggled with it the most.

At the peak of my insecurity: junior year of high school.

To be honest, I deal with these thoughts a lot less than I used to. Unbelievably, I'd forgotten what it's like to be there, stuck inside my head in a cycle of comparison, portion control & counting calories, but I had my 'toothpick arms moment' with purpose: to remind me what it's like, where I've come from, & how far I have to go. Obviously, I don't have it all figured out. Even if I did, I would still have these moments until I reach the other side of heaven. But I have come a long way and I want to share some of my journey with you, in hopes that it might be of some use to you as you face these moments along the way. In the coming days I'll be posting some of the disciplines I practice that help me to embrace and love who I am.

What do you (actually) do when you find yourself facing a 'toothpick arms' moment? Be honest...

//Click here to read Part II of this series//

Where's the TV?

2013-06-13T02:04:00.002-04:00

Until a few months ago that was one of the first questions people asked when they came into our home. "We don't have one," we'd respond, to which we'd receive a remark of disbelief, a stunned facial expression, or most commonly (and my personal favorite), a combination of the two. Brooks & I don't have moral convictions against TV. We just didn't have one. After people got over the initial shock of hearing the news they'd ask, "What do you do?" or "How do you do that?" Here's our answer to those that ask:

1. We read.

Brooks & I started reading together when we were dating. We read our first book Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy independently & talked about it casually. The next book we read aloud, mostly Brooks reading to me. It's one of our favorites. Other reads we've enjoyed include: Sacred Marriage, The Meaning of Marriage & The Hunger Games trilogy, to name a few. And every year we choose a Bible Reading Plan as a means by which to read through Scripture together on a daily basis.

2. We talk, like friends do.

Pretty simple. Check this out if you've forgotten how to be a good friend to your spouse, family member, or roommate.

Normally we don't look this cute doing so (engagement photos, ha)!

3. We cook & we eat.

Brooks & I value our health. We believe part of that involves fueling our bodies with proper nutrition, so we make an effort to buy groceries on a weekly basis, to research nutritious (and delicious!) recipes, & to try new things. Sometimes we cook together, sometimes I have dinner ready when Brooks gets home. Either way, we sit down at our dinner table, enjoy good eats, & catch up.

4. We exercise.

Again, we're passionate about pursuing good health. We enjoy going to the gym at the same time when our schedules allow it, & after dinner in the evenings (when it's not too stinking hot) we walk around our neighborhood.

5. We travel.

Our travel bucket list is growing by the day with family + friends scattered throughout the world. We make it a point to pay them a visit. We also keep a list of places of interest that are nearby, and explore them when we're able.

If you walk into our house today, you will now find a TV in our living room. My parents gave us gift cards to Best Buy to purchase one for my birthday. We are really grateful for it. While we still don't have cable or dish, we do enjoy watching movies and the occasional mini-series (Downton Abbey, anyone?). Hear me when I say: TV isn't a bad thing. We just don't prioritize it when there are so many other fun things to do!

What do you + yours enjoy doing besides watching TV?

Iced coffee: our summertime beverage of choice.

2013-06-09T22:38:00.002-04:00

Husband & I laid out on our back porch & sipped -- okay... chugged on my part -- iced coffees.

His idea. It's our new favorite. And an attempt to cut back on Starbucks.

Though it's not technically summer, let's be honest: we only have one season here in the great state of Texas. In the spirit of 80+ degree days, what are your favorite summertime beverages?

Happy First Birthday, Asher!

2013-06-09T11:38:00.001-04:00

Something happens when you graduate college. Just about every time you log onto Facebook you'll find your newsfeed exploding with engagement photos & updated relationship statuses. Most trips to the mailbox mark the arrival of another save the date, shower, or wedding invitation. It's a fun, exciting season of life.

A few years down the road something else happens & you start seeing uploaded photos of pregnancy tests by which friends are announcing that their party of two has indeed become three. About a year & a half ago I was at a Forge brother's wedding when Kate & Brad, my sis & bro-in-law, pulled me aside to share the news that they were expecting the arrival of a little person. And this weekend we got to celebrate his first year of life with family + friends.

Happy birthday, Asher David!

You bring so much joy into our lives

& it is a gift to celebrate y-o-u!

A Visit from Grandma

2013-06-06T09:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I shared that we traveled to Tyler last weekend to send my not-so-little brother off to be a Young Gun at Pine Cove. It didn't take much prompting to convince Drake to bring Grandma Peggy along for the ride so that we could steal her away to "The Great Place" for a few days. While we were driving Grandma was telling us about her hometown, and I asked her to think of a similar city in Texas to give Brooks an idea of what Hermann is like. Grams responded, "New Braunfels!" We happily discovered that the nostalgic little town is only a few hours from Fort Hood, and decided to take a trip south the very next day to check it out.

Exploring the streets of New Braunfels

German... everywhere!

Husband said we couldn't make the trip to New Braunfels without floating the river. Here's the thing: my Grams doesn't swim. Being from Oklahoma, I wasn't expecting the river to be very deep + fast, so I convinced her she would be alright. We packed a picnic lunch & rented our tubes. There were a few exciting surprises, as the rapids were a little bigger than we had expected in spots, but by the end of our two hour float Grams was asking if I wanted to take the four hour route! Needless to say, she overcame a fear + we had a great time.

Unfortunately this is our only photo to capture the memory--but the river was beautiful!

Our days were full during her visit. Another notable memory involved hiking one of my favorite spots in the area.

We made it to the peak! I hope I'm as active as Grandma Peggy when I'm 79 & 1/2 ('not 80 yet!').

I'm grateful for the time we shared + the memories we made. Love you, Grams! Thanks for blessing Brooks & me with your visit. Please do come again!

Young Guns & Baby Ruths

2013-06-05T16:06:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking about my brother, Drake, over the past couple of days: wondering how he’s doing, what character of the Bible he’s studying & how much brush he’s hacked down with his machete. Last weekend Brooks & I traveled to Pine Cove to show him around Tyler before sending him off for 5 weeks as a Young Gun.

Young Guns is a program for students who have just completed high school & are preparing for their first year of college. The program is not for the faint hearted. The goal is to train students in righteousness through creative learning experiences, teamwork, mentoring, teaching, & lots of hard work.

My favorite tree-lined drive in all the world.

The influence of the Young Gun program was one of the main reasons I applied to work as a counselor at Pine Cove back in '07. A childhood friend of mine was a YG the summer after we graduated high school. He came back a different man than he was when he left. After seeing the way God used the program to elicit life-change in my friend, I knew I wanted to partner with an organization like Pine Cove in the future. A year later I applied to work as a camp counselor. I worked one summer at The Woods, and for three subsequent summers I had the sincere privilege of working with the girl's version of the YG program, Baby Ruths.

Though I've walked alongside many women participating in the program, I was never a Baby Ruth myself. I really wish I'd known about it when I graduated from high school. But since I didn't, I made sure to drop a hint or five [thousand] to my younger siblings, encouraging them to apply. I'm so proud of Drake for venturing to a new place to be with people he's never met, with the hope of learning more of what it looks like to follow Jesus.

.Pray.

-That the God of endurance & encouragement will grant Drake & his fellow Young Guns the grace to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together they may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ [Romans 15:5-7].

-That Drake will grow in the grace & knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ [2 Peter 3:18].

-That like Jesus, he will grow in wisdom, & stature, & favor with God & men [Luke 2:52].

-That the God of hope will fill Drake with all joy & peace as he trusts in Him, so that he may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit [Romans 15:13].

.Letters.

Pine Cove Timbers

Drake Ochsner // Young Gun

P.O. Box 9055

Tyler, TX 75711

.Packages.

Pine Cove

Drake Ochsner // Young Gun

15791 CR 1113

Tyler, TX 75703